They had to go back to the ARC and they had to inform Lester. Jenny and Becker went into Lester's office to tell him what happened.
Lester looked at Jenny and told her to rest and to go home. She was looking pale and Lester saw that Jenny was still in shock. So Jenny left his office and Connor and Abby were watching her. They shared a glance and then they went to her. Abby placed a hand on her shoulder and decided "We will take you home!" Jenny accepted that unquestioningly and nodded.
Lester was still with Becker in his office and asked "How could this happen? Captain Becker. It was your job to protect them. Especially professor Cutter." "I know sir I am sorry." Then they looked into each others eyes and Lester realized that Becker blamed himself already enough and so he said to him "We have to make sure that something like this never going to happen again. We have to be more careful. We don't know if Helen comes back again. You have to keep your eyes open. I don't want to loose another team member." Becker nodded and left his office.
Jenny was at home and sat on her couch. She told Abby and Connor that she needed some time and that she needed to be alone for a while. They respected that but they had a bad feeling about leaving her alone. Jenny closed her eyes and then she saw Cutters face. She was redolent of his blue eyes. The most bluest and loving eyes she ever had seen. She almost could smell his scent. She remembered how his warm breath felt on her body and how his bristly chin tickled her skin when he kissed her. Everything was so strange and complicated at the beginning but then she felt for him so deep. And now what is left. All she saw was Cutter but the next moment all she saw was Helen and the gun. Then the blood.
She slowly began to realise that Cutter was gone. How she was suppose to live without him. How she was suppose to deal with the anomalies and the creatures without him. She didn't knew if it was even possible to carry on without him. She couldn't bear that. She had a heavy heart and suddenly she was overwhelmed with sadness. She couldn't hold back her tears or the uncontrollable sobbing. She was in so much pain and didn't stopped crying until she felt exhausted asleep.
Abby and Connor were at home and Abby saw Connor leaning against the window. She could feel his pain. She stepped closer to him and took his hand into her own hands. In soft tone she reassured him while tears were running down his face "I am with you Connor. You are not alone Connor. We will make it. Okay?" Then she leaned closer to him and did give him a soft and tender kiss.
One week later
The funeral was taken place at a cemetery at 10 o'clock. The sky was flecked with dark clouds. At first it was just drizzling rain but then it came in torrents. Everybody was standing around Cutters grave. The priest was speaking while raindrops and tears were running down from their faces. Abby was holding Connors hand and they were standing close to Jenny. They hoped that they could comfort her at least a little. Jenny tired to hide her tears but she couldn't. She didn't know how to cope with. It took them so long to finally to be together and then her happiness was taken so sudden.
One week ago she was so happy. Everything was perfect and now she felt lonely and empty without him. After the speech of the priest everybody had some time to say goodbye to Cutter. One after the other went in front of his grave and then everyone threw a white rose into the hole.
Back at the arc
Jenny was sitting in Cutters office. She could still sense his presence. Everything was so strange and unreal to her. She would never accustom herself to the fact that Cutter would never be here in his office again. She didn't wanted to believe that she would never see him here sitting again.
Connor was walking around the hall and then he sighted her. He went into Cutters office and closed the door. For a moment he look at her in a concerned way. He couldn't imagine how hard this must be for Jenny. He himself had Abby and he knew that she was his salvation. He didn't even knew what he would do without her. Then Connor placed himself right in front of her. He looked her in the eyes and he saw that she was holding back her tears. Connor didn't know what to say. How was he suppose to comfort her. To find the right words when there is nothing to say. Nothing that would ease the pain.
But then Jenny said with a shivering voice "How are we suppose to do this without him?" That was a good question. Even Connor didn't know how they should carry on without him. But he knew that Cutter wouldn't want someone to give up. As much as Connor was hurt and sad himself he knew that he had to be strong for Jenny and so he said "We will. Jenny…. We have to carry on. We can give up…. Cutter… would want us to continue. We can't give up."
After that Jenny was shaken her head. A tear was running down her cheek and with a bleating voice she said "I can't…. I…." She couldn't continue to speak and Connor caught her in his arms. When he heard her crying it was hard for him to control himself but he had to do it for her. At the moment she was more in pain than he was and so he tried to comfort her in the best way he could. After a while they stopped embracing each other and Connor said to Jenny again "We have to carry on and you are not alone Jenny. We are all there for you….. and …..we need you too." Jenny was washing her tears away and then Connor took her hands into his own. Jenny squeezed his hand. She was thankful for his friendship and for the comfort he was given her.