Chapter 4
Beep...Beep...Beep...is all I hear when I wake up. I open my eyes and see my dad beside me and Gemma on the other side. "Daddy." I say. "Hey baby girl. How are you feeling?" he asks. "I'm fine." I say. "Apparently you're not baby. Talk to us. What were you thinking?" Gemma asks. I look at he and snap. "I was thinking that I wanted to fucking die. Now leave me alone. Everyone just leave me alone." I say and start to sob. Daddy and Gemma leave me be and I sob harder.
A little later, Juice comes in and I am sitting there looking at my hands. I look up as he comes in. "Hey Princess." He says. "Leave Juice. I don't want to see you." I say harshly. "Why did you do it?" he asks. "Doesn't matter. Just leave. I don't want to see any of you." I say and he comes to the bed. "Baby please don't do this." he says softly. "Juice, please leave me alone. You have to leave me alone. Please." I almost beg. He looks at me concerned and kisses my temple and says "Anything you want Princess." before walking out of the room where I start to sob even more. I just want to die and can't even do that right.
I'm lying on my side with my back to the door when I hear it open again. I feel someone sit on the side of the bed and a hand go to my hip. "Hey Lo." Jax says and I just roll my eyes. "Look at me babe." he says and I don't move. He grabs my shoulder and rolls me over but I don't look at him so he tilts my head up to look at him. "What were you thinking Lo?" I look at him and say "I was thinking I'm tired of being a piece of pussy that no one is ever gonna love. I was thinking I'd rather be dead than to be your side piece for when you and Tara get into it. I was thinking that I can't be with the one that I want because you have to have complete control over something that's not yours. I want you to leave me alone. Don't speak to me. Don't come near me. I hate you." I seethe. He grips my throat again and says "You remember your place, bitch. I own you. Don't forget that." he seethes right back. He lets me go and leaves my room, leaving me to cry even harder.
They finally release me from the hospital and Gemma takes me home. "You want me to stay?" I shake my head no so she kisses my cheek and sees her way out. I'm sitting on the couch in a daze. My phone keeps going off and I don't answer. Calls and texts from all of the guys, except Jax. Even Juice called and left a voicemail. Princess, please answer. I need to know you're okay. It says. I send him a text. I'm fine. Please leave me alone. Before falling apart again.
It's been a week since I've left my house. I don't answer any calls or texts and don't answer the door. I hear a knock at the door and like every other day, I don't answer. All of a sudden I hear the lock being turned and the door opens. I look up and see Opie walk in. He walks over and sits on the couch next to me and doesn't say anything at first, just pulls me to him. I lay against him and he asks "What happened?" I sit up and say "I tried to kill myself Ope." He looks at me sadly. "Why Lo? What happened that was so bad that you wanted to leave us?" he asks. I feel the tears start and say "It doesn't matter. Nothing's going to change it." I say. "You know you can talk to me right?" he asks. I look at my hands and say "I fucked up and there's nothing I can do to change it." I start. "What happened?" Opie asked and there's no judgement. There never is with Opie. "About a month ago, Jax showed up. He was drunk and I started drinking with him. He told me him and Tara were done and I fell for it again. We hooked up. He was gone before I got up and I went to the clubhouse and they were clearly back together so I moved on. I started talking to someone. We were spending every evening here together and decided to be together but we weren't going to tell anyone until we saw if it was going to work." I tell him. "The guy know about your hookup?" he asks and I nod. "He came by to check on me after I saw Jax and Tara back together." I tell him. "So what happened between you two?" he asks. "Jax came over wanting to hook up and I turned him down. He knew about me and the guy and told me that I belonged to him and only him and that if I didn't call things off that he would tell the guy that I was off limits and him being the VP the guy would have to listen so I did what he told me to do. I called him and told him I couldn't see him anymore and Jax has been coming over to hookup and then heads out when he's done. Hell, he hasn't even noticed that I just lay there." I tell him. "You know you don't have to do that right?" he asks. "I do." I say and show him the marks on my throat. "He do that?" he asks. I nod my head yes and say "When I told him that I didn't want to see him again and that I was done." I tell him. "You said he'd pull VP rank. The guy you've been seeing is a SON?" he asks and I nod my head. "I was seeing Juice." I tell him and he smiles. "You really like him don't you?" He asks. "Ope, I was happy. He made me laugh and I was even writing again." I tell him. He stands up and says "I'm taking it to the table. Club votes it, he can't do shit about it." he tells me. "You can't take it to the table." I tell him. "He's basically raping you and he threatened to pull VP rank. He's the one that made it a club issue. I'm taking it to the table and when I'm done, you'll have your idiot." he says. "Don't call him that." I say sadly. He kisses the top of my head and says "I got you Lo." I just nod my head and he walks out the door.