Harry Potter and the Flip of a Niccal

By: KKM

Disclaimer: I do not own the Harry Potter series or any associated characters. Harry Potter is © J. K. Rowling. I also do not own the Gorillaz or any associated characters/songs. Gorillaz are © Damon Albarn and Jamie Hewlett.

Comments:

Franaletorres – Lol! Your comment made me giggle. Thank you for your support!

Beowolfalien – Thank you so much!

Last Time:

"Moony… can you tell me about them?" he asked in a voice so quite that had the other man not been a werewolf he may have had to strain to hear. It was a voice that clearly showed how afraid this boy was that he would be turned down. Harry ached to know the parents that he had never once heard a good thing about. He was nearly holding his breath in anticipation.

"Oh Harry," the man said gently with reassurance in his eyes. "I'll tell you anything you want to know."

Lessons could wait. There were many tears and peels of laughter as Remus poured his heart out that afternoon and told Harry all about the antics of his best friends growing up while leaving out some of the hairier details.

Outside the door, a curious Noodle had her ear pressed against the door. When she heard the laughter and that there were no signs of her newest friend being upset anymore, she looked out and gave a thumbs up to 2D who gave her a gapped toothed grin. Everything was going to be okay.

Chapter 10: Ensnaring the Senses

Murdoc scratched his chin thoughtfully with one of his long, discolored talons as he stared intently at well… something. To the naked eye it looked like nothing was in front of him except the thousands of trees that knotted and tangled around the grounds of the Forbidden Forrest. He knew better though. He could feel the old magic of the invisible barrier that was before him. But how to cross it?

Knowing that Harry was in the capable hands of his new tutor, the Satanist had decided that it was time to approach the second man needed to fulfill his son's education requirements. He'd been putting it off much longer than he should have and considering the start of term was this week, he knew it would be that much harder to get his attention. Such a minor inconvenience wouldn't stop Murdoc Niccals! He was used to harder than usual tasks. With this in mind, he was reasonably sure with himself that where there was a will there was a way!

Kong Studios did not have a fireplace that he knew of or one that would be attached to a wizarding floo in any case. This meant that he'd had to improvise a bit. In one of his old spell books he'd found an incantation that would be similar to apparition except it was capable of teleporting for longer distances. In the car park behind his Winnie he'd drawn a large circle of chalk and then had begun to meticulously draw out the symbols that would allow him safe travel to the outskirts of Hogsmeade. When he was ready, he sat cross legged in the center of the circle and began to chant the required Latin phrases in quick succession. He then closed his eyes and allowed himself to become one with his magic.

At first, nothing seemed to happen. But gradually a wind began to pick up as it swirled around him causing his greasy bangs to blow wildly to the side. He closed his eyes tighter and grit his teeth as a hot magenta aura started to dart around him striking the ground at random leaving scorch marks in the cement. He grimaced in pain as one of the bolts enveloped him in the fierce, almost electric light. Then he suddenly felt as if every particle in his body had been blown away only to recongregate immediately in a violent jolt.

When he felt a breeze on his cheeks he carefully opened his eyes with a wheeze as he gasped to catch his breath. It was far too bright and cheery outside, but he'd made it. He had teleported directly to the outskirts of Hogsmeade. Take that, Hogwarts education! Once he'd regained his senses, he'd quickly cast a wandless disillusionment charm on himself and had headed into the part of the forest that would lead him to the castle grounds.

He knew that the school would be warded, but he hadn't expected the wards to extend so deep into the forest.

After a long time of contemplation, Murdoc decided that the most reasonable course of action would be to introduce himself to the wards so that the castle would understand that he was not a threat. Carefully, he lifted his hands and gently stroked the wards with his claws like one might to a big fluffy rabbit.

The reaction was immediate. The wards vibrated in curiosity at such an odd greeting. 'Oh yes,' Murdoc smirked to himself, 'she is sentient.' And the castle beneath the wards was indeed a she! He could tell these things. Not to mention he'd spent the past few days researching various books on the topic including the ever popular and most likely outdated Hogwarts, A History. But that was besides the point. He now had the castle's attention. He wasn't worried about this though. Murdoc had a way with the ladies.

"Why, 'ello there luv," he said pleasantly as he continued to gently strum at the wards with his sinful digits as if he was caressing his El Diablo. "Fancy meeting you 'ere. I knew you'd be powerful, but I mus' say you're a lo' more breathtakin' in person than I'd originally reckoned."

The wards seemed to glow red in warning which caused him to chuckle as he gently leaned closer as if to whisper something positively delightful. "Now now. None o' that, luv. Ol' Mudsy innit 'ere ter cause you problems," he promised. "I'm actually 'ere to see an ol' mate, if you could help a chap out."

The wards stayed silent as if contemplating, but otherwise he could feel no reaction to that, so he continued.

"Wot if I offered you a trade? You le' me in withou' causin' a ruckus so I can see my mate an' I'll agree no' only to mind my peas an' ques but I'll also teach you somethin'."

He laughed as the wards flashed indignantly at him as if to taunt, 'What could a little ant like you teach something as great and magnificent as me?'

"How would you li' the power ter zap on demand? Think 'bout it, someone does something stupid – you could zap 'em on the arse. Why, you coul' even pull pranks on ol' Dumbles and make 'im think his bright robes are full of static!" He chuckled and then lowered his voice to a musky timber. "You coul' even stop intruders by zapping 'em something fierce until they resemble a scorch mark under the sun if ya' like, luv. Think of all that extra power."

He could feel the wards warm under his ministrations as the castle was obviously intrigued. There were many ancient and powerful spells woven into her wards, but none of them involved the ability to either cause harm or directly affect those within her little bubble unless you counted the giant enchanted stone knights. But no one ever seemed to have a use for those. They just weren't practical. But zapping! Something like that could come in handy if there was ever any dangers in the castle. Plus, nowhere in the agreement had Murdoc said that he would be immune to this power. For all he knew, she could zap him to a crisp if she felt like it as soon as he crossed the barrier. That thought seemed to settle the matter for her.

The wards pulsed warm in his hands and the barrier became visible to his mismatched eyes. As a precaution, he noticed that the spell lines were blurred slightly so that he would not be able to cause harm or undo any of them. She'd effectively cut off any ways to breach her wards while allowing herself to gain more.

"Smart girl," he said under his breath before nodding. "Then we 'ave an accord," he said confidently as he began to draw the runes for the ward additive with one of his pointed nails. After nearly an hour of working, the runes glowed an electric blue before fading into the barrier as the castle absorbed the information and was most likely duplicating the spell throughout every inch of the wards as his handy work became a bound protection.

He waited a moment and then tentatively stepped forward. He shuddered a bit as the wards washed through him and allowed him to pass. "Well, alright then. Thank you, m'lady," he mock bowed. Then he let out a manly squeak as the wards really did zap him on the ass like he suggested. He glared a bit and rubbed his bottom petulantly before sticking his long tongue out lazily. "I knew I liked yeh for a reason, you frisky minx," he purred before quickly continuing on his way through the forest with a bit of a bounce in his step.

When he finally reached the castle grounds he let out a low whistle as he admired the beautiful architecture. He thoughts were bitter sweet as he imagined what he missed out on and what it might have been like to be taught within her glorious walls. But then he frowned and shook his head. There was no use in thinking on things that had never been nor would be. Professor McGonagall had taken that dream from him, so he'd have to make due with being an impartial guest.

He was still under the disillusionment charm when he entered the castle's front doors, but he was surprised to find the grand entrance unoccupied besides some old statues of armor and of course the ever populated moving portraits. The students were probably all in class by now. The castle must have done something too because none of the portraits seemed surprised by his presence. It still creeped him out a bit that their eyes still followed him as he passed though he knew very well that they could not actually see him.

"You'll want the stairs going down to the dungeons! Just up there! Don't let the stairs get you!" a painting of a girl with a pink parasol directed, jabbing her umbrella in the direction he should go.

"Thanks…" he muttered. And here he'd though Kong could be creepy. However, when he finally made his way to the grand staircase, he couldn't help but gape in wonder as he watched rows and rows of staircases moving back and forth. It was one thing to read about such enchantments, but another thing entirely to see it in person. Blinking stupidly, he shook his head and chose the staircase that seemed to be leading down to the dungeons. Luckily, this staircase did not appear to be of the moving variety.

The further he climbed down, the darker and draftier his surrounding area seemed to become. There were less portraits down here and the walls were stone with the drapings of green and silver decorating its daunting halls. At the bottom of the staircase was a long hallway lit by torches with more of the Slytherin house tapestries and decorations lining the walls. His steps echoed more down here and he felt slightly self-conscious about his ability to sneak down around in such an amplified setting. As an afterthought, he quickly cast a spell on his Italian leather boots to muffle his steps in the dark corridor.

Up ahead he heard a door bang open as a large group of young students made their voices known. A class must have just dismissed. Murdoc muttered a few profanities under his breath and quickly hid himself behind a statue as a group of very young-looking children in green and red trimmed robes bustled by chattering loudly about their next classes. When they passed, Murdoc let out a sigh of relief and was about to step back into the corridor when he heard scuffle not too far away. He carefully edged forward to get a better look.

A small plump boy in a red trimmed robe was surrounded by three boys in green trimmed robes. The boy in the middle of this unfair trio was blonde with aristocratic features and he was being flanked by two rather hulking masses. Judging by the fear on the plump boy's face, this was not a friendly meeting.

"You're pathetic, Longbottom. Even a Muggleborn could have answered those questions," the blonde boy sniffed in disdain. "It's a wonder you didn't blow us all up with your stupidity. And you call yourself a pureblood."

"S-sod off, Malfoy," the plump boy stuttered. "I-I don't want any t-trouble."

"S-s-s-s-stoooop Malfooooy," the blonde boy mocked in a high-pitched voice before laughing with his goons. "You sound even worse than that hack, Quirrell. Maybe I should give you something to be afraid of," he threatened as he began to take his wand out.

Something about the Longbottom boy reminded Murdoc strongly of Harry. He remembered how fearful his son had been those first few nights. He clenched his teeth together tightly as he made the decision to act. But before he could move, the door to the dungeon classroom slammed back open and a new presence made themselves known.

At first, Murdoc could only see a dark silhouette as the figure paused to take in the scene before them. Everyone in the corridor froze as the threatening presence gracefully swept forward with a billowing trail of inky black robes in his wake as he stepped between the students.

"Is there a problem here?" his rich voice intoned as a tall man with a sallow face and shoulder length greasy black hair came into view. If his looks were intimidating, then his voice just added to the affect. It was clear that he was in charge here and there would be no questions asked…

Murdoc had to cover his mouth to prevent the sudden bubble of laughter that threatened to escape this apparently pivotal moment. Satan, he knew that Severus could be dramatic, but really!? Hell, he looked like he was trying to imitate a vampire or something equally as mysterious if the looks of horror on his students' faces were anything to go by. Murdoc gave his old friend a mental kudo for effort.

"No professor, we were simply helping Longbottom to his next class," the Malfoy boy lied smoothly as he straightened his stance and quirked one of his elegant eyebrows to the other two green-clad boys who nodded quickly in agreement.

"Is that so," Severus stated calmly, not taking his dark fathomless gaze from the confident boy. "And tell me, Mister Malfoy. Does escorting Mister Longbottom to his next class require your wand? Perhaps you intended to levitate his belongings for him. I find this curious considering you have yet to attend a Charms lesson." The blonde paled as he realized the older man knew exactly what he was trying to pull and stayed silent. "Five points from Slytherin. Get. To. Class."

The three Slytherins knew a dismissal when they were given one. Each of them glared at the plump boy before running off and disappearing down the hall.

"T-thank you, P-professor," Longbottom stuttered, still clinging to his belongings as if they would save him from the intimidating man. He jumped in timid fright when the glowering man's eyes snapped to his.

"15 points from Gryffindor for being late to your next class and another 5 points for letting yourself be caught off guard," he intoned dispassionately. "Do not disappoint me again or it will be a detention. Go."

Murdoc grinned evilly from his hiding place as he watched the little boy stumble and run away as if he was about to shit himself. Severus had balls now! Oh, this was even better than he imagined. His friend was just as snarky and dark as he remembered him, but this newfound confidence and fear factor was brilliant!

As the child disappeared from sight, Murdoc began to slowly clap as he released his disillusionment and stepped from behind the statue. "Not bad, Snape. I'm impressed!" Dark eyes snapped over to him in disbelief. Before Murdoc could utter another word 13 ½ inches of polished dark wood was shoved dangerously close to his broken nose. "Now Severus, is tha' any way to greet an ol' mate?"

Snape's expression did not change as he continued to eye his prey without lowering his wand. "What was the name of our childhood friend?" he asked, his lips barely moving as his full concentration stayed on Murdoc, who he perceived to be an immediate threat.

"Liiiillllly," Murdoc purred the name, watching in amusement as Severus' eye twitched in annoyance. Severus used to hate it when he did that. It had never failed to make Lilly giggle back in the day.

"How did you get into the castle without being detected?" It must have taken a lot of restraint to ask just that one question because Murdoc could tell by the other man's tensed jawline that he wanted to ask more.

"Does it matter?" Murdoc shrugged. When Snape still didn't lower his wand, Murdoc gave a dramatic sigh and rolled his mismatched eyes in exasperation. "Innit obvious? I walked in! Not a single bloody greeter or howdy-do neither. Well, it's a wonder that they keep anyone out if a bloke can just waltz right in," he felt a slight static fill the air and he cleared his throat quickly before adding, "Though a lovely place to visit. Really love what they've done ter tha' place."

Severus lowered his wand with a grimace. "Do you think it's wise visiting here when you've got the entire staff in an uproar over Potter? I doubt the Headmaster would be very pleased with your presence."

"Ah, but he ain't here, is he?" Murdoc chuckled before gesturing back to the man's classroom. "Shall we?"

"My office is down the hall," Severus replied, still looking suspicious as he turned and stiffly led him to the next door down the hall.

"Oh, stop being so prickly," the bassist jeered, "Tha' shit may work with your 'ickle firsties, but I've seen you at yer worst, mate."

"I very much doubt that," Severus said under his breath, but Murdoc still caught it. Soon they had entered, and Severus sat in his customary seat behind his large cherrywood desk and Murdoc had plopped down with an air of flippantness. "Now, why are you here bothering me after all these years?"

"Miss me?" Murdoc batted his mismatched eyes at him. When Severus only stared in reaction, he cleared his throat and sat up a bit. Straight to business, then. "As you know, I 'ave taken in young 'Arry as my ward. Wot yeh don't know, bu' I'm sure will eventually be found out, is tha' I also adopted the little bugga." Severus' eye brow did raise at that, but Murdoc brushed it off with a wave of his hand. "He grew on m-Hey! Watch it!"

Murdoc's speech was interrupted as the stoic potion's professor suddenly reach out and grasped his waving wrist. This happened to be the hand with the blood adoption scar on it. The professor's expression went from blank to furious in a matter of moments. "What did you do!? Do you know how dangerous that potion is? What did you even brew it in? WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING?"

"You know exactly wot I did, you great twit!" Murdoc growled, yanking his hand free and rubbing his now aching wrist as his mismatched eyes glared warily at him. "I brewed the damn thing! And if you mus' know, I used a common dingy kitchen pot; I was fresh out of gold cauldrons." At this statement, Severus looked completely blown away and was about to yell some more when Murdoc cut him off, "IT WAS THE DECENT THING TO DO! Tha' child was skin an' bones when I found 'im! Who knows wot woulda' happened if I'd taken 'im back to those pathetic Muggles. It's bad 'nuff tha' when I found 'im at Spinner's End of all places tha' some drugged-out wanker was about to beat the piss out of 'im."

"You found Lilly's child at Spinner's End?" Severus said with incredulity, "But he was supposed to be protected with Tuney's family."

Murdoc let out a snort. "Is tha' who he was staying with? Wish I'd have known tha' little piece about a month ago." He vaguely remembered Petunia from when they were kids. She never liked them and always had thumbed her little horsey nose at them. He could only recall seeing her a small handful of times. "Well, he'll neva be going back there. They can rot for all I care."

Severus was very rigid now as he watched Murdoc thoughtfully. "Why are you here?" he asked again. His voice was lowered, but there was still an almost painful edge to it.

"I don' trust Dumbledore or his little cat-friend. I also don't trust the ministry no' to try and turn tha' boy into a trinket for their political gain. You've 'eard the stories well as I. If it's no' Voldemort-" Snape winced and Murdoc ignored him, "then it'll be some otha' rotter tryin' the get at 'im. He's my son now and I won't le' that happen. I will train him ter be able to protect himself, bu' I need help."

"No," Severus said almost immediately with a peculiar look of contempt in his eye. "I have a job here. I will not be at Potter's spawn's beck and call."

"Lilly's," Murdoc hissed, with a dangerous look in his now glowing red eye. He'd immediately caught the insult to Harry's pedigree. "I dun' know wot you have against Potter, an' frankly I don' give a shit. Harry takes afta' Lilly. If you really gave a fuck abou' her, then you wouldn' give two shits abou' his dead father. I am his father now."

He watched as Severus clenched and unclenched his fist on the desk top. He kept his mouth shut and Murdoc was sure he'd just hit a very sore mark with him. But at least now the git was listening. "He won' need much of your time. I already 'ave a tutor plus myself teachin' him. I just need you once or twice a week for potions," he paused. Then he chuckled darkly and added, "Unless you want me ter teach 'im with my best cooking pots! I bet Lilly just woulda' loved that."

"Fine," Severus intoned, removing his agitated hand from his desk as he appeared to remove any signs of discomfort. "Twice a week during my free periods I will teach him potions and minor herbology. I expect him to be respectful and complete his work. I will not stand for incompetence."

"That's all I ask," Murdoc nodded, privately congratulating himself for knowing how to press people's buttons. Sweet Satan, he was good!

A/N: Woo! Another chapter completed! I know the wards part was a little different, but I wanted a unique way for Mudz to get in without having to chance a run-in with Albus or Minerva. In the next chapter, Harry gets to see his first Gorillaz rehearsal! Also, Murdoc received a letter from Gringotts. Stay tuned!