Harry Potter and the Flip of a Niccal
By: KKM
Disclaimer: I do not own the Harry Potter series or any associated characters. Harry Potter is © J. K. Rowling. I also do not own the Gorillaz or any associated characters/songs. Gorillaz are © Damon Albarn and Jamie Hewlett.
Comments:
Beowolfalien – LOL! That would be pretty funny! Hed be like, "Uhhhh… Yesss, it's great… so did you day this was your only job?" XD
Mellra – Ah, 19-2000 is a good one! I love Saturnz Barz too, but that song would come waaaay later in their lives. We're in Phase 1 right now so we have to stick to the Tomorrow Comes Today LP, Gorillaz self-named album, and G-Sides for now. Thank you for reading! 😊
Last Time:
"No," Severus said almost immediately with a peculiar look of contempt in his eye. "I have a job here. I will not be at Potter's spawn's beck and call."
"Lilly's," Murdoc hissed, with a dangerous look in his now glowing red eye. He'd immediately caught the insult to Harry's pedigree. "I dun' know wot you have against Potter, an' frankly I don' give a shit. Harry takes afta' Lilly. If you really gave a fuck abou' her, then you wouldn' give two shits abou' his dead father. I am his father now."
He watched as Severus clenched and unclenched his fist on the desk top. He kept his mouth shut and Murdoc was sure he'd just hit a very sore mark with him. But at least now the git was listening. "He won' need much of your time. I already 'ave a tutor plus myself teachin' him. I just need you once or twice a week for potions," he paused. Then he chuckled darkly and added, "Unless you want me ter teach 'im with my best cooking pots! I bet Lilly just woulda' loved that."
"Fine," Severus intoned, removing his agitated hand from his desk as he appeared to remove any signs of discomfort. "Twice a week during my free periods I will teach him potions and minor herbology. I expect him to be respectful and complete his work. I will not stand for incompetence."
"That's all I ask," Murdoc nodded, privately congratulating himself for knowing how to press people's buttons. Sweet Satan, he was good!
Chapter 11: Clint Eastwood
Harry watched his friends with rapt attention from Kong's sound booth as they warmed up their instruments. Growing up, Harry hadn't been allowed to listen to very much music and especially not the kind that Murdoc had hinted that this lot liked to play. His Aunt Petunia had been a staunch Catholic so the only music that had ever escaped her small radio had been that of Gospel. As far as he knew, his Uncle Vernon had never really listened to music. Instead, his Uncle's modest little Vauxhall Chevette always seemed to drone on with the latest news and politics. Harry mentally shuttered at the memory of how the uncomfortable tan leather seats always made him car sick because his Uncle refused to ever roll down the windows lest the smell of new car escape the tiny vessel. Dudley had listened to music, but it was mostly underground rap that his mother would have fainted had she ever heard what they were saying. Harry had enjoyed a few of the songs, but he wasn't sure that Road Rap was for him.
At the backbone of the group, Russel was adjusting his snare as he tapped it a moment with one of his drum sticks and then played an experimental beat. Every now and then he would pause, muttering something under his breath as he carefully moved the pieces of his beloved drum set in such a way that Harry wondered if he wasn't being slightly OCD about it. Noodle was at the left of the stage wearing her strange looking radio helmet as she tuned her guitar. Harry had asked her about her helmet a few days ago and she'd confided in him that she liked to wear it to practice because sometimes the speakers during rehearsals and performances hurt her ears. She mostly wore it around Kong as a way of making sure that it wouldn't irritate her when she was on stage. She'd also programmed it so that she could hear the first chord in the headphones she needed to match before each song to make sure she was in tune. He couldn't fault her for that kind of logic. His father was to the right staring at his bandmates in boredom as he waited for them to ready themselves. He was the only one not bothering to tune as he stroked his El Diablo absently. 2D was standing in the front but to the left a little so that Russ could still be easily seen as he fiddled with his Casio keyboard and hummed to warm up his voice.
Harry thought it was funny how the longer they took to warm up, the louder the sounds seemed to crescendo with them, and the more annoyed their leader seemed to look. Finally, Murdoc could take it more longer and he strummed a single very loud note from his beloved base that had them all silenced immediately. All three looked to their leader for direction.
"From tha' top!" he sneered and they all nodded in return.
Russ played a short tempo to give them the counts of how fast to go and then they were off! Harry listened in wonder as they played seamlessly together. It was so weird to see the family he'd gotten to know over the past month be in such harmony with each other. Before long, he felt himself nodding along with the rhythms.
Every song sounded completely different from one another! It was such an odd concept, but for these four it just worked. Harry wasn't sure that he could safely put any of them into a music genre. One moment they would play something like Punk where they sounded like a garage band and the next they'd play something hauntingly beautiful like Starshine. 19-2000 was so completely different than anything he'd ever heard before that at first his mind could barely accept it, but by the end he was practically singing along! Double Bass was amazing as Noodle had ditched her acoustic and instead picked up a worn bass of her own as she and Murdoc battled each other. He could tell by the glint in their eyes that this was a favorite of theirs. Ghost Train was another song that she could not help but vibe with, it was just so catchy!
New Genius probably affected Harry a bit more than it should have. He was glad to have been hiding in the sound booth where the band couldn't see him as he performed. The song hit a little too close to home for him and his was privately embarrassed that by the end his expressive green eyes were glassy and moist. Something about the lyrics made him want to be free and emotional as he released a shaky breath. It really was a powerful song in his opinion. When the song was over, he quickly wiped at his eyes and sniffed, hoping that his reaction wouldn't be obvious later.
Then, before he knew it, the Gorillaz were drawing to a close as Murdoc picked up the mic and spoke. "An' now fo' our finale! We saved this one ter make a lasting impression," he smirked knowingly as the rest of the band smiled in anticipation. Noodle set down her guitar and took out a blue melodica that had been sitting on a stand next to her. Harry tilted his head curiously as Russel started the downbeat, wondering what they had in store for him.
"I ain't Happy, I'm feelin' glad.
I go' sunshine inna bag!
I'm useless, bu' not fo' long.
Tha future is comin' on!
I ain't Happy, I'm feelin' glad.
I go' sunshine inna bag!
I'm useless, bu' not fo' long.
Tha future is comin' on!
It's comin' on. It's comin' on. It's comin' on."
As 2D began to sing the first lines of the chorus, Harry couldn't help but sit up straight. He wasn't watching the blue-haired singer however. His eyes were focused on the big drummer instead. Something looked to be very wrong with his friends as Russel began twitching and swaying a little. Harry stood up in a fright when the big man suddenly seemed to pass out and there was a big flash of light. His hair stood on end as he witnessed possibly the most terrifying thing he'd every seen – a spectre of some sort seemed to escape from Russel's head making his presence known. Harry was too shocked to move as the celestial being gave him a saucy wink and began to rap the catchiest lyrics the young wizard had ever heard.
All the while, Russel's arms continued to move as his sticks kept the perfect beat though he was clearly unconscious. The other bandmates didn't react as if a seemingly dead rapper escaping their friend's head was a daily occurrence. Harry now suddenly understood all of the haunting jokes he'd heard over the weeks with startling clarity. He'd thought they were all joking about the zombies in the carpark, but maybe the jokes were really about the ghosts in Russel's head!
He found himself calming down as he gazed at them all with an awed expression. This was just so cool. He found himself completely captivated as he listened to the amazing lyrics.
"Now I'm sucked into your lies
Through Russel, not his muscles but percussion he provides!
For me as a guide
Y'all can see me now 'cause you don't see with your eye;
You perceive with your mind
That's the inner
So I'ma stick around with Russ' and be a mentor
Bust a few rhymes so motherfuckers remember where the thought is
I brought all this
So you can survive when law is lawless (right here)
Feelings, sensations that you thought was dead
No squealing,
Remember that it's all in your head!"
2D finished out the remaining lyrics to the chorus as Noodle, Russel, and Murdoc continued to play the almost carnival like melody in the background. Harry's eyes widened as he realized the ghost seemed to be floating in his direction. He yelped in surprise when the dreadlock clad ghost came through the window of the sound booth. He stumbled back, causing the ghost to laugh good-naturedly.
"Don't hurt yo'self, little man. The name's Del," he introduced in an American accent not unlike Russel's with a wide smile which revealed a few golden teeth. "I come out when Russel checks out, you dig?"
Harry nodded as he continued to stare wide-eyed at the ghost. "I'm Harry," he found himself saying. "P-pleased to meet you."
Del gave another hearty laugh and then began to drift back out again. "Take it easy, little man. Until next tiiiime!"
By the time Murdoc struck the final chord, Del had sucked himself back into Russel's head causing another clap of bright light before the big man was suddenly awake again shaking his head as if to clear it.
Harry stayed still a moment and then found himself running out of the booth and toward them. "That. Was. AMAZING!" he exclaimed to their immense pleasure. "Russ, how did you do that!?"
Russ winced a bit but continued smiling nonetheless. "I've always been real in tune with spirits. Del's an old friend," he offered. "I'm glad you liked him. I'm sure you'll see more of him in the future."
"Wicked!" Harry grinned.
After that, 2D suggested a pizza and movie night was in order. The others all agreed with the stipulation that there would be no zombie movies. This made 2D pout, but he got over it quickly when Noodle suggested Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Legend of the Ooze. This was a house-favorite, so he didn't mind giving up his favorite horror movies to watch it. When Harry let it slip that he'd never seen a Ninja Turtles Movie, it was then decided that they would have to watch both movies to catch him up to speed.
"You coming, Mudz?" Russ asked as they all started to head toward the kitchen.
"Nah, I 'ave some business in me Winnie ter take care of. You lot have a good time," he said as he mused Harrys hair as he ran by. The eleven year old smacked his hand away and stuck his tongue out at him before running off to catch up with 2D and Noodle.
"Aight man, but don't expect there to be any pizza left," he shrugged as he followed the others. As Murdoc turned toward the lift, he could hear Russel asking the others what kinds of pizza they'd want and their answering replies. He allowed himself a private smile of satisfaction as the lift lowered down to the carpark.
The closer he got to his Winnie, the more his grin began to fade. Sighing, he entered and picked up the letter he'd received that morning from Gringotts. The wax seal was still unbroken as he'd decided to enjoy his day before getting to business. He knew that this letter would most likely have to do with the situation involving Harry's accounts.
With the letter still clutched in his hand, he flopped down into his armchair and ripped it open before beginning to read.
Dear Mr. Niccals,
As discussed previously, here are a list of your dependent Harry Potter-Niccals' Assets. I have also included a list of all withdraws over the past 11 years including anything that has been sold. If anything is amiss, please contact us.
Accounts:
Potter Trust Vault: 46,322 galleons, 1 sickle, and 27 knuts.
Main Potter Vault: 1,265,625 galleons, 4 sickles, and 10 knuts.
Black Vault: 2,356,942 galleons, 0 sickles, 34 knuts.
Niccals Vault: 200 galleons, 0 sickles, 0 knuts.
Properties:
Godric's Hollow: Net Value: 164,793 galleons – Current Status: Uninhabitable/Historical Landmark
#12 Grimmuald Place: Net Value: 257,680 galleons – Current status: Uninhabitable/Abandoned
Potter Mansion: Net Value: 91,324 galleons – Current Status: Uninhabitable/Mansion destroyed by fiendfyre/Only land remains.
As Murdoc continued reading over the accounts his eyes widened quite a bit. That was a lot of dough. A sort of manic giggle bubbled from his lips as he stared at his own measly vault in contrast to the other monsters listed. The trust vault for schooling alone was startling but paled in comparison to what the boy would inherit when he came of age from both the Potter and Black vaults. He frowned a bit at the three unusable properties. Godric's Hollow was a landmark, so he understood why that one was unusable. The Potter Mansion… had the boy's grandparents been attacked in the first war too? That was not a good way to go… The Black property would be useless until the boy turned of age so there was no way to know how bad of shape that was in.
He looked over the next pages which contained in and outgoing transactions and a growl escaped his gravely throat. Because Dumbledore had been acting as Harry's legal magical guardian, there were several transactions involving donations to some fund called the Order of the Phoenix and he could see that an artifact had been removed from the vault. I priceless invisibility cloak of some sort it appeared. He could also see where Harry's family had been receiving funds every month to house the boy.
Well, that would all need to stop.
"Fuck," he muttered as he lit a cigarette and grabbed a yellowed looking notebook from a nearby shelf. It was a good thing that the green man normally handled all the accounting for his band or he might have been at a loss of what to do. That didn't make it any easier though. First, he would write a formal against Dumbledore and the Dursley's cancelling any further withdraws and requesting for funds to be reimbursed immediately. Then he would seek legal action. He'd be damned if anyone would take advantage of his son.
Murdoc Niccals was in for a long sleepless night of accounting.
A/N: Ugh, the site I used to use for dollars to galleons converting is no longer in service so I had to calculate from dollars to pounds to galleons instead. Murr, I hate math lol. The trust fund has exactly what 7 years of schooling should cost in it per J.K. Rowling's hints. This chapter is a little shorter than usual sorry. In the next chapter, Harry will learn to have fun! We'll be seeing some G-Bitez in action!