Chapter 8
It's been a week since the incident with Tara and Jax and I haven't left the house. I wake up and Juice is laying next to me with his arms around me. I slide out of his hold and into the kitchen to make breakfast. He walks into the kitchen as I plate his food. He takes it to the table and I start cleaning the kitchen. "You need to eat babe." he tells me. "I ate while I cooked." I tell him, lying. He shakes his head and says "Come eat." I shake my head and say "I'm good." I walk out of the room and into the bedroom to get ready for work.
Walking into the office, we clock in and he says "I love you." I kiss him and say "I love you more." He walks out to the garage and I get started on invoices. Gemma walks in and asks "How are you baby?" I don't look up. I just say "I'm good." She closes both doors and says "Spill and don't tell me you're fine. I see right through that bull shit." she tells me. I don't look up but say "He wants me to have his crow." I tell her. "That's good baby. Do you not want it?" she asks. "I do. God I do but, Gemma, I just can't get my head right." I tell her. "Baby, I want you to listen to me. My son, he's a stupid fuck. He let that patch go to his head and he deserves a lot more than what your Old Man did to him." I start shaking my head and she says "He tell you he loves you?" she asks and I nod my head yes. "He's your Old Man." she tells me and she tilts my head up to look at her. "You're our Princess. Nothing changes that. I got on his ass last night after you took off. Him and Tara both. You need to hold that beautiful head up and show them that you are the Goddamn Princess and they won't break you." she tells me. "They already have." I tell her. "No they haven't. Get your ass up. Walk out there and let that man of yours wrap his arms around you. Feel the love he has for you and then tell me you aren't our Princess. Walk into that clubhouse and look at those men. Look into their eyes and see how they look at you. Then tell me you aren't our Princess." she tells me. I look up at her and say "How do I get past this?" I ask. "You stand up, raise your head and you take your fucking throne back." she says. I stand up and say "I'm going to go see Tiggy." I tell her and she nods.
I walk out of the office and into the clubhouse. I see Tig and Juice standing at the bar talking and I walk over. Juice pulls me to him and I kiss him softly. I look at Tig and ask "Can I talk to you Uncle Tiggy?" He looks at Juice and then me and nods. I look at Juice and say "I won't be long." I tell him. "Take your time Princess." he tells me before kissing me softly. Tig and I walk down the hall and to the ladder. Tig and I used to come up here all the time to talk when things were getting to me. Sitting on the air unit, he doesn't say anything until I start talking. "I don't know what to do Uncle Tiggy." I tell him. "Start from the beginning." he tells me. I start telling him about the shit with Jax and Tara that he already knew and then started talking about Juice. "I love him so fucking much and all I want is to be his Old Lady. I want to spend my life with him but how can he want me after that shit Tiggy? How do I get my head right?" I ask. He puts his arm around me and pulls me close to him and says "Baby, let me tell you something. None of us look at you as anything but our Princess. But that man down there? That man loves you with everything in him. You're what's making him better. You're what's making him not second guess himself. When you called things off with him, he wouldn't speak to anyone unless we asked him something. Croweaters would even try to cheer him up and he'd just glare at them and tell them to fuck off." he tells me. I look at him. "Baby Doll, you are what holds this club together. We love you so much and there's nothing that you could do that could make us look at you any different but let me ask you something." he says and I nod. "Do you remember what you used to tell me when you used to write all the time?" he asks. I looked at him confused. "You used to tell me that writing helped you work through all the shit running around in your head. Why not take a few days, hang out at home and do nothing but write. See if that helps you clear your head a little." he tells me and I look at him shocked. "What? I listen when you talk." he says. I lean into him and say "I'm gonna go get my Old Man and head home." I tell him. We walk back up to the bar and I ask Juice "You ready to go home?" He nods and I look at Tig and say "Love you Uncle Tiggy." He smiles and says "Love you Princess."
Juice and I walk out the door and once we walk into my house, I head to the bedroom to get my laptop. I sit on the bed and he asks "You're going to write?" I look up and see a smile on his face. "Tig said something to me that I used to tell him. When he used to ask why I wrote all the time I told him that it helps me clear out all the shit running through my head. He said it might help this time." I tell him. "You want me to go downstairs?" he asks. I shake my head no. "Will you stay here with me?" I ask. "Anything you want Princess." I look at him and he asks "What?" I kiss him softly and say "You said the same thing to me at the hospital." He kisses me back and says "And I still mean every word." I look back at the laptop and all of a sudden my fingers start flying across the keys like I never stopped.