Author's Note: Sorry for the delay in updating this, all. I know it's been several months, but I swear I haven't abandoned it! I just got focused on my thesis and "Frostbitten," and I couldn't think of any stories to add to this. So, enjoy my little tall-tale.
The winter of 1997-98 was one of the worst on record in the Himalayas, wreaking total destruction on the region. There were great herds of yak feasting on overgrazed mountain land during the summer, so when the early, wet snow froze the ground into a thick crust of ice, the poor beasts couldn't get to the grass beneath. Blizzards and bitter cold soon followed, and the high Himalayan plains were quickly littered with thousands of bovine bodies.
One blizzard in particular was nasty. In less than twenty-four hours, the dull gray sky dumped nearly six feet of snow on the foothills. Several rickety shacks collapsed under the weight of the snow, and between those malfunctions and the below zero temperatures, several people, especially the very old or the very young, died in winter's cruel clutches. One Tibetan, a slightly vain young man who invested more money in his normal clothes than a proper coat, unwittingly crossed into Lin Kuei territory because it was further south than where he came from, and he assumed it would be warmer. He froze to death on the shores of the Yarlung Tsangpo River's bitter southern bank.
The next day, Kuai Liang, Bi-han, and Tomas, following the youngest Cryomancer's gut instinct that it was a prime time to hunt, stumbled across his corpse, blue as the Arctic Ocean and half-buried in the snow. Children of the Himalayas, they knew to dress warmer than he had, apparently. Over their usual training uniforms they wore heavy coats insulated with fur, woolly yak breeches and scarves tied around their black cowls, sheepskin mittens, and thick tabi boots and socks. Even still, Bi-han admired the Tibetan's leather boots because their craftsmanship looked far superior to the ones he wore.
"That idiotic popsicle looks to be the same boot size as me so I'm keeping them," he told the younger two boys as he staggered through the snow to the corpse and tugged at the Tibetan's feet. The right boot seemed to be frozen on, and the left didn't want to come off any easier.
Tomas chuckled. "Poor sap looks like he just went three rounds with your old man and lost." He grinned at Kuai Liang, who only cringed at the mention of his father and tightened his grip on his bow.
"It's no good," Bi-han grunted in defeat, ignoring the Czech boy's comment. "They're stuck on tight. I'll just cut his feet off and thaw them later when we build a fire."
"Ew," his younger brother said just as their friend asked, "Are you sure that's a good idea, Bi-han? You're just begging for his ghost to come back and haunt you."
The older Cryomancer scowled at the twelve-year-old. "Don't be a superstitious ninny. His soul isn't even here. He doesn't even need his feet anymore."
"But you're gonna bring bad karma on yourself by dismembering his body," the other warned. "Remember what Sifu Halsey said about karma and-"
"Shut up, you weenie," he snapped, though inwardly Tomas' seriousness somewhat shocked him. Even still, in his hands he formed a kori sword, his newest Cryomancy skill, and promptly sawed through the Tibetan's shins just above the furry boot tops. Then he put the booted feet in his hiking pack, but not before he admired the leather's quality and the stitching that joined that leather to the sole. Finally, as Kuai Liang wrinkled his nose in disgust and Tomas stared at him as if he were about to be struck by lightning, Bi-han led them down the river to search for any animal that dared to present itself.
After an hour or so of staggering through deep snow, they stumbled onto a herd of deer that proved to be excellent at playing tag. Once they knew the three boys hunted them, they took off running so that every arrow the boys fired missed. Then, they'd pause for a moment as if to say, Nyah-nyah-knee-boo-boo, stick your head in doo-doo! Bi-han could almost hear their snide remarks, and his mule-headed stubbornness set in. Long after Kuai Liang and Tomas wanted to give up on these particularly snotty deer, he insisted on chasing after them even more, and as a result they lost most of their daylight trying to bag just one.
Finally, he conceded defeat as twilight settled on Lin Kuei territory, but not before Kuai Liang kicked him hard in the shin and flooded him with sense. His little brother, whose face had contorted into an angry red storm-cloud, said, "It's too late to try to get back to the Temple now, you guys. It's a good five miles away, uphill, in the snow. So I guess we're having a camp-out."
"In this cold?" Tomas retorted. "Are you out of your mind? You two might be the Wintermint Twins, but some of us aren't exactly equipped to survive a deep freeze."
"Hey, you know we're not either," the youngest of the three retorted. "We can freeze to death just like you can. So you can thank my idiot brother for being an idiot."
"Thanks, Bi-han," Tomas grumbled. He glared at Bi-han, who simply shrugged.
"I'm not the one who wanted to go hunting today, remember?" the teenager retorted. "This was the little baby's idea. So don't blame me."
"I'm not a baby!" Kuai Liang indignantly yelped. Bi-han only shrugged again.
The temperature was rapidly falling, quickly growing so cold that their tears crackled on their corneas, and none of them dared to pee for fear he'd be frozen to the ground by an icy tether until spring. It had to be below zero now, the cold made worse by the wind cutting through them like a scythe. Silence befell all three boys for a long moment, but then Tomas cried, "I know! There's a shepherd who lives close by. He's got this tiny yurt, but it's got a hot stove and he'd probably feed us."
"Is that the guy you stole khir from?" Kuai Liang asked him pointedly.
"I'm sure he's forgotten all about that by now," the other replied, waving his hand dismissively. "Besides, he never knew it was me anyway. He wasn't that smart." His gray eyes drifted away, undoubtedly to that place in his memory where he'd outfoxed Jiao-long and ducked out of Grandmaster Oniro's punishment, all while indulging in his favorite khir.
"Earth to Tomas!" Bi-han snapped a moment later as fresh snowflakes began to fall. "Quit daydreaming and take us to this man's place."
The Czech boy needed little prompting. A half a mile away, they found the yurt, saw the glow of a roaring fire through the tiny windows, and pounded on the door. Tu, the elderly shepherd, opened the door a crack, sized up the travelers, and then opened it wider.
"Come in," he said. "Lin Kuei or no, I won't let you children freeze to death."
"Thank you," all three mumbled in sincere gratitude, though it was hard to speak through their chattering teeth.
They stepped over the threshold and basked in the warmth of Tu's house, and then jumped in surprise when they saw a Siberian tiger lying against the opposite wall, sleeping. Bi-han and Kuai Liang instantly cast Tomas a bug-eyed stare, both wanting to know the same thing: Did you realize this man had a tiger when you broke in and stole his food? Tomas, equally wild-eyed as realization dawned on him, slightly shook his head no. Tu noticed their trepidation but still clapped them on the back and ushered them forward anyway.
"You can sleep wherever you can find a spot on the floor," he explained to them. "But keep an eye on Rani. She's my baby but she's not so kind to strangers. She will chew you up and spit you out."
"Um, sir?" Kuai Liang nervously began. "Why do you have a tiger in your house?"
"Why shouldn't I have a tiger in my house?" the other replied. "Rani keeps me company and not a damn fool will mess with me now that she's around. A few years ago, I had a wolf prowling around my yurt. Came in and ate my khir. Odd thing for a wolf to eat, but you can't deny that I heard it howling and scuttling around my yard. Guess it realized it couldn't get to my sheep so it took the next best thing. After that, I bought Rani off the Black Market, and I've spoiled her rotten."
"Why do I get the feeling we're going to hear a story sometime in the near future about a man getting eaten by his pet tiger?" Tomas whispered to his companions, prompting Bi-han to nudge him in the ribs.
"Why do I get the feeling we're going to have a starring role in that story?" Kuai Liang added. He shivered, but Bi-han couldn't tell if it was his attempt to shed the cold from his body, or from fear he refused to admit he felt.
"If you children are hungry, pull up a patch of floor and have some mutton stew. I've got plenty of goat's milk to wash it down with, and good stories for you as well."
"What about khir?" Tomas asked hopefully.
"Tomas!" both Kuai Liang and Bi-han hissed at the same time.
They had a fine time that evening. The boys had their fill of stew and milk, and though Tu had none of Tomas' favorite dessert, he did treat them to an unfamiliar sweet bread filled with cinnamon and sugar. As they wolfed down their meal, the shepherd entertained them with tall-tales, and they repaid him with some of their own. Occasionally, Rani lifted her head at their raucous laughter, sniffed, but then promptly stretched out and went back to sleep like only a cat knew how. Finally, as the hour grew late and the wind howled angrily through the falling snow outside, Tu ordered the boys to go to sleep before he climbed into his cot and began to snore. Before he fell asleep as well, Bi-han set his new pair of boots, feet and all, by the stove.
Just before dawn, he woke with a start and realized that he had kitchen duty for the day, a punishment issued by his father the prior morning for throwing an apple he purposely froze at Jiao-long's face. Technically, he shouldn't have left the Temple to begin with, but he felt it was a better plan to sneak out than to avoid the elephant-faced teenager all day. He'd be in enough hot water simply for ducking out of the Lin Kuei stronghold, but if he missed kitchen duty, his name would be mud. No, his name would be ice, and his father would be the one who changed it. So he needed to get back, and fast.
Bi-han checked his trophies, saw they had thawed out, and quickly pulled the severed feet from them and their socks before he shoved his own feet into them. Then he threw the Tibetan feet and his older boots into the corner by the stove, informing a very sleepy Kuai Liang that the extra weight would slow him down, and therefore he needed to bring his tabi boots home with him when he came. As his little brother nodded his understanding and then dozed off once more, the Cryomancer slipped out like a ghost and then sprinted towards the Temple as fast as he could with the snow hindering his speed. The world was blanketed in soft, silvery white, but the wind had stopped, the briskness of the air refreshing.
Tu rose shortly thereafter and began frying mutton chops and hen eggs on his stove. When their breakfast was ready, he said to Tomas and Kuai Liang, "Get up, children. Food's ready." Not that he needed to tell them. The savory smells of herbs and spices roused them from their surprisingly peaceful sleep. Rani seemed to have been a very gracious host, at least until she batted at something that looked like a man's foot. Tu curiously peered at her new toy.
"Is that what I think it is?" Tomas asked as he recoiled in disgust. He couldn't believe Bi-han just left them in the middle of the floor, and he frowned at his best friend.
"Well, this is a terrible start to the day," the old shepherd said. "This is a man's foot and there's its mate." He did a quick head count. Only the two younger boys remained, both of whom exchanged a puzzled glance. "Oh, please forgive me!" he suddenly yelled as he threw himself before them. They looked at him in wild-eyed shock at the elderly man who was practically frothing from the mouth as he apologized all over himself.
"Sir, I-" Kuai Liang began, but was interrupted.
"She ate Bi-han, your brother!" he cried. "Rani did! I knew she was a mean one, but I never thought she could swallow a man whole! You savage beast!" he screamed at the tiger as he drove her into the snow. Her feline expression looked just as astonished as Kuai Liang's. Tomas, meanwhile, struggled to contain his laughter as Tu ranted at the animal. "You'll never get a taste of human meat again. You're gonna stay out here with the wolves and the snow, you hell-bound monster! That'll teach you to eat a man." Secretly, though, he felt pleased he owned an animal that could eat a Lin Kuei warrior in one gulp.
Kuai Liang started to set him straight, but silenced himself when Tomas nudged him in the ribs, and played along when his best friend said, "Well, we can't return to the Temple without Bi-han. They'll come looking for him."
Now Tu nervously poured them both cups of sheep's milk. "Now, boys, you know it was an accident, and a terrible one. Your brother must've gotten too close to Rani, and she didn't like that none too well. I didn't know what a brute she really was. Can we please keep this amongst ourselves? You could say he froze to death and you had to leave him. Plus, I've got a bit of gold I can give you. You just eat your breakfast and don't make no trouble for me over a tragic accident. I've got enough trouble in the world without bringing the Lin Kuei down on my head."
"Okay," Tomas agreed for both him and Kuai Liang. "But you have to do one more thing for us too."
"I don't have anything else," the shepherd protested.
"Oh, it's not much," he said. "I just want you to make us khir. Now, and whenever we come calling for it."
Tu couldn't deny that was a fairly reasonable request. And true to their word, Tomas and Kuai Liang didn't make any trouble for him. They loaded the money he gave them into their hiking packs, drank their cups of sheep's milk and ate the khir when it was ready, thanked their host for his hospitality, and then trudged into the snow. They returned to the Temple several hours later, and when they saw Bi-han that night after he'd fulfilled his kitchen duties and gotten a whipping for sneaking out, they smiled knowingly, ready to share their treasure with him for his role.
"Don't be weird," Bi-han admonished in a flat tone as he admired his new boots some more.
"Here's your stinky, sweaty, nasty ones," Kuai Liang said as he threw his brother's old tabi boots at his head. "Hope your new ones were worth leaving corpse feet in the middle of the floor for."
"You're just jealous."
"Of what? That you're wearing boots you stole off a dead guy?" he countered.
"No, that I saw them first, that I'm smarter than you so I took them because they're made better than ours, and that I'm better looking than you now that I have them," he sneered. "Then again, I was always better looking."
"I hope that man's ghost comes back to haunt you," Tomas cursed him. "Rani the Maneater decided to use them for her playthings."
Bi-han laughed. "That's hilarious," he chuckled.
"That's sacrilegious," the other retorted.
"Only to a superstitious baby. Both of you are acting like babies, by the way. I'm shocked I didn't have to hold your hands to guide you home." Bi-han sneered at them as he paused. "Too bad your gut instincts didn't pan out, little brother. It's kind of pitiful when you return home empty-handed. But at least I bagged a trophy." For the hundredth time in the last fifteen minutes, he pulled his leg to his face and admired his new boots.
"We didn't come home empty-handed," Kuai Liang protested and Tomas promptly shoved him to the side.
"Nope," the Czech boy quickly agreed when the eldest looked at them expectantly. "We came home with sweet, sweet memories. You know, of the khir that Tu made us for breakfast?"
Bi-han raised an eyebrow. "You two are weird little girls, you know that?"
The younger two boys exchanged a glance, and decided in that moment not to tell the older Cryomancer about their stroke of good luck after all. Bi-han had, after all, already gotten a prize in their adventure. And ultimately, both Kuai Liang and Bi-han knew that the math worked out better when dividing by two than dividing by three.