Twenty Years Later- Bunbunmaru Spirit News archives
Latest Shikigami of Border Youkai tells all... kind of.
As I'm sure you're aware, Yukari Yakumo is a fickle old woman, a strong senior youkai who does not grow attached to anything that's not as eternal as herself. And just as she has moved on from the many eras of Gensokyo, from the failed lunar invasion, to the... second failed lunar invasion, she also has to regularly change her shikigami.
Dumping her old, tired Shikigami with the devilishly handsome heathen, Dawitsu, Miss Yakumo moved on to find a brand new chief shikigami, a bold Oni with a good appetite for alcohol and of very few words. I decided that the time was long overdue to ask the woman about her time under Yukari's command, as well as ask the important of how yet another Oni has managed to escape the underground...
After politely entering Miss Yakumo's house through the wall and gently convincing her to go away, I decided to ask the shikigami some questions to see what she had to say...
Aya: Hello, Miss... hold on, what's your name?
Oni: (spreads fingers, as if marking the number ten, and then makes the shape of some kind of letter or number with her hands in the space slightly above where her hands were previously)
Aya: Um... is it Tenshi?
Oni: (covers face with hand, and then repeats previous gesture)
Aya: Heh heh, um, you know, names are overrated... so, you're an Oni, judging by that horn. So, are you from Former Hell?
Oni: (Nods, but makes gestures resembling a leg kicking something away)
Aya: You were kicked out? What for?
Oni: (points outside of window, towards the Hakurei Shrine)
Aya: Reimu Hakurei kicked you out?
Oni: (Shakes head, and points towards Hakurei Shrine, then put her hands to her hips, before picking up a sake dish and sipping it in a regal manner)
Aya: You... had a shrine for yourself?
Oni: (Enthusiastically nods head)
Aya: What was it like?
Oni: (makes circular shape with hands, lets it drift from left to right)
Aya: You fired bullets there?
Oni: (shakes head, repeats gesture while imitating wind with mouth)
Aya: You had a problem with tumble-weed?
Oni: (shrugs shoulders, and drags me closer to her face)
Aya: That's close enough! OH! You meant close enough by... wow, you're clever. So, why can't you speak?
Oni: (Points to Youkai Mountain, before styling her hair to look like Kanako Yasaka's)
Aya: You were... the God of that shrine? But how does that stop you from...
Oni: (slaps me in the face)
Aya: Okay, okay, I won't question your silence!
Oni: (Smiles and nods)
Aya: Well... um... how about we move on? What's it like working under Yukari?
Oni: (Sniggers slightly)
Aya: What?
Oni: (points to me, opens her mouth repeatedly, before putting one hand on top of the other)
Aya: Oh, come on, that's just immature! Come on, what's it like to do whatever the Border Youkai desires of you?
Oni: (begins to laugh properly, before silencing herself)
Aya: You're not funny.
Oni: (shrugs her shoulders and points at me)
Aya: Well, I guess I did kind of ask for it... hey, I'm starting to understand you!
Oni: (claps her hands)
Aya: Thank you. So, what's it like being Yukari's Lady-servant?
Oni: (smiles slightly, but doesn't build up into a laugh. Then points to a bottle of vodka)
Aya: Ah, she gives you lots of Vodka? Where does she get that?
Oni: (picks up the bottle, points to a line reading 'Russian Standard Vodka')
Aya: Russian? What country is that from, then? Russialand? Russiesia? Russiana?
Oni: (covers face with palm, then places her right index and middle finger on her left palm, before crossing the palm out with her right hand)
Aya: I'll... just go with Russiana. So... is she nice?
Oni: (smirks, and begins impersonating Yukari, pointing forward and opening her mouth repeatedly, before punching her left palm with her right fist)
Aya: She... shouts at you and beats you up?
Oni: (shakes her head, before forming two 'sock-puppets' with her hands. One 'talks' to the other, and the other 'walks' away, before coming across a hand 'walking' on its index and middle finger. Then, the 'sock-puppet' hand 'bites' the 'walker', savaging it)
Aya: She... orders you to attack people like a rabid dog?
Oni: (drags me close to her face)
Aya: Close enough... ack... can you get off me?
Oni: (shakes her head)
Aya: So... is she nice to you?
Oni: (points downwards, and points to me)
Aya: Not as nice as me? Oh, stop, you're making me blush...
Oni: (makes two 'O' signs with her hands, before shaking her head)
Aya: I don't care if you're not a lesbian, I'm not even coming on to you!
Oni: (looks indignant, points to her face before pointing to her left pinky, making a grinding motion with her hands, putting her right index finger on her left palm, and making a 'Y' shape with her hands)
Aya: Look, I didn't mean you were ugly...
Oni: (folds her arms, looks as if she is going to cry)
Aya: Oh, come here! You're beautiful! You're really pretty, and I wouldn't mind you being on our swimsuit edition sometime soon if you like...
Oni: (seems genuinely happy, before bursting into laughter and making the two 'O' shapes with her hands)
Aya: Shut up!
Oni: (gives deadpan look, before pointing to her mouth)
Aya: Um... well... uh... stop signing!
Oni: (opens mouth, before making a 'P' shape with her hands, putting her right index finger on her left palm, pointing to her left index finger, pointing to her left thumb, linking her pinkies, and pointing to her left index finger again.)
Aya: Fine... stop signing... please.
Oni: With pleasure, old chap.
Aya: Did you... did you... AAAAAAAAAAAAH!
After that, I boldly fled in terror, too shocked for words at the fact the Oni... had used words. From what I can gather, this proves that the latest shikigami of Miss Yukari Yakumo is only silent because she wants to be, and seems to enjoy making other people try and decipher what she's saying.
She also seems to have formulated some kind of sign alphabet to help herself communicate, although why she doesn't just speak I don't know.
But apparently, she once was the Goddess of a shrine, perhaps one that is now in former hell! Oh, I should go and send Reimu down for me like I did during that incident! This is Pure and Honest Shameimaru, and next issue, there may be an archaeological article to be read!
Article written by Aya Shameimaru
Present-day Hindsight: Like, that Oni seems like a funny girl. Not that I'd, like, want to hang out with her, but I bet it was funny to see Aya try and interpret what she was trying to say...
Like, Aya's super-observant, isn't she? She, like, wrote down every action she did with so much detail, she's like... a super journalist! How positively awesome! Like, I should take note of her technique!