Quick Recap: Bella survived the flu. Edward has told her it's possible for them to have a baby and he won't deny her that, if it's what she wants. Bella asked Edward what he wants.

Previously on The Keepsake...

"Edward, you haven't actually said how you feel. You just keep telling me that it's my choice, whatever I want."
"I don't want my feelings to influence your decision, either way."

"But you can't do that. You can't keep yourself out of the decision. This involves both of us. Our baby would be part of us. Do you want this? I want to know what you want."

"What I want?"

"Yes."

Edward sucks in a sharp breath. His eyes wander from my face, down my body, and settle on my stomach. He reaches out, his hand moving under my sweatshirt and resting on the bare flesh of my belly.

"What I want," he whispers.

His fingers caress me softly, slow gentle circles. His touch is so tender, so loving. Tears well in my eyes and I smile as his gaze moves back to my face. He smiles too.

"I want this," he says.

CHAPTER 17

Bella's living room. On her sofa. Edward's lying down while Bella sits above him, straddling his hips.

Edward's point of view.

"I want this."

Edward could barely believe he'd said the words. Couldn't believe he'd given voice to a deep longing he had never even recognised, let alone acknowledged. Until now.

He stared into Bella's eyes, lost in their depths, his new heart open for her to see. He'd carried the news of their potential for almost a week, but Bella's illness had overtaken everything. And while Edward had allowed himself a few fleeting moments to think about this new information, he hadn't let himself feel. And now that he did, those feelings came as a shock. A revelation that shook him and held him in a heady mix of excitement and disbelief.

He wanted this. A family of his own. Of their own.

His words seemed to echo in the silence of Bella's living room. They echoed in his head. He felt them in his heart.

He wanted this.

But only if Bella wanted it too, and so far, she hadn't actually said what she wanted. And maybe he'd said too much.

His words had faded away now, overtaken by silence.

Slowly, Edward withdrew his hand from Bella's stomach. He held his breath, still locked in her gaze, waiting for her reaction, not allowing himself to think or analyse. Or hope. He ignored the small, dark, twisted corner of his mind that was preparing for the worst. That Bella might not feel the same. That, faced with this new reality of hybrid children, she might be repulsed.

Seconds ticked by. Lots of seconds.

Then a slow, warm smile began to dawn across Bella's face. Like sunrise, Edward thought.

"I like the name Elliot, for a boy," she whispered. "Maybe Lara for a girl."

Despite Edward's vast intellect, it still took him a moment to fully understand Bella's words, or measure the meaning in her smile. And when realisation hit, it hit hard. His breath shuddered and broke as he exhaled sharply. His fingers trembled as he gripped Bella's hips. He swallowed hard as hope flooded his heart and a new future, a new life, played out in his mind.

"They're fine names," he whispered. "Very fine names." He began to smile too, but stopped suddenly. "Are...are you crying?" Edward quickly brushed away the tear from Bella's cheek.

"Happy," she whispered. "I'm happy."

Edward thought his heart might burst. He opened his legs so she fell between them, her body lying the length of his now, her cheek to his chest. He stroked her back and kissed her hair and wished he had the words to tell her how he felt.

"You really told me..." she said, and he felt more tears dampen his shirt.

"Told you what?"

"What you wanted." Sniffing, she lifted her face and touched her fingers to his cheek as she looked into his eyes. "You told me what you wanted. You never do that. But today you did. You want this and you're not just doing it for me because I want it. You're doing it for you, too."

Edward wondered if maybe he had found the words, without even realising.

She kissed him then, brushing her lips over his softly, slowly. Edward tangled his hands in her hair. Joy swelled through him, filling him, until it overflowed and he felt he would explode with the force of it. He couldn't quite take in the change his life just taken. In just these last few minutes, with a few words. He'd thought Bella agreeing to be his wife was the greatest happiness he would ever have, but now...

She didn't have to miss out by being with him. He could give her children. He could give her everything. He could be the man he would have been, should have been, if he'd stayed human. He could be a father. It was almost too much. And Edward didn't know what to do with these new feelings. So he held Bella close and told her he loved her. The words didn't seem enough. But at the same time they were everything.

"I love you, too." Bella smiled. "We can really do this?"

"Yes." Edward nodded, shifting their position slightly so he could kiss along her jaw, wanting to be as close to her as he could. "We really can. But there's still a lot to discuss." He kissed beneath her ear and smiled when she shivered. "There'd have to be careful planning, special care taken..." He pulled back to see her eyes. "And Bella, if you think I'm protective of you now..." He stopped talking when she pressed her lips to his and kissed him hard. Edward deepened the kiss as much as he dared. He ran his hands along her back. "So...you want this too?" he murmured and Bella chuckled softly.

"You just want to hear me say it again, don't you?"

"I do." He chuckled too. "So...you want this?"

"I do. I want this. With you." She sighed and smiled. "I never wanted kids just for the sake of having them. But with you..." She nestled closer against his chest. "Not just yet, though," she said. "After college?"

"Whenever you're ready," Edward said. "Just tell me. I'll be there." Desire burned in his veins. In his chest, his heart felt like it would start beating any moment. "And that gives us plenty of time to plan."

"Lots of planning." Bella smiled. "And practice?" She nipped at his ear, hooked one leg over his and pressed her hips against him. Edward gasped softly. His body responded. He wanted her; he wanted her so much, but...

"Flu," he muttered as he kissed over her throat, his hands grabbing her hips, stilling her movements, but keeping the contact. "You're still recovering..."

"Edward, I'm all better. Trust me."

Edward was more than happy to trust her. He clutched her tighter, bringing her closer. The pulse in her neck pounded beneath his lips and she moaned as he slid his leg between hers. She sat up, straddling him again, and he smoothly pulled her sweater over her head, leaving her bare and beautiful above him, her hair a messy, chestnut cloud around her shoulders.

"Bella..." His whisper was almost a moan. He gently cupped and teased her breasts while her trembling fingers worked at the zipper of his jeans. And that was when the thoughts began to filter through from the street below.

"No..." Edward groaned and winced. "No..."

"What? What's wrong?"

"Guests." He wanted to say intruders. Invaders. And he wondered if there had ever been worse timing in the history of the world. He decided there hadn't been.

"Who?"

Edward sighed. "Your work friends. From The Drum. They've come to see how you're feeling."

Out on the footpath, Scott was wondering how much Bella paid each month for an apartment in this part of town. Amaranthe was hating herself for being roped into this visit because she was sure Bella was the type who would prefer to recover in peace and quiet. Alison was patting herself on the back for her good deed.

"Oh." Bella frowned and glanced over her shoulder to the door. "We could just stay really quiet and not answer."

"We could. But your truck is parked out front. They know you're here." He swore, quietly to himself, and began to recite the periodic table of elements in Russian to bring his body to heel. And while he did that Bella sighed and bit her lip. When the knock came she adjusted her sweater while Edward adjusted his pants. He hoped very hard that her friends wouldn't stay long because this had turned into one of the most incredible, significant days of his life and right now there was no place in it for anyone else. Except Bella, of course.

"Wow, hi. Um, what a surprise." Bella smiled as she held open the door for Scott, Alison and Amaranthe. "Come in. You've all met Edward, haven't you?"

There were shy nods of greeting and Edward raised his hand in hello. He debated flashing a wide, welcoming smile. With all his teeth. Maybe even add the unnaturally smooth tilt of his head. That was usually enough to clear a room. But he behaved himself.

"This is for you, Bella." Alison handed over a bunch of flowers. "We thought we should come and say hi and see how you are. You're looking a bit flushed, do you still have a fever?" She took a cautious step back.

Bella quickly assured her she was fine and sniffed the bouquet. "These are great, thanks, but you didn't have to. And I'll be back at work in two days anyway..."

"We told her that," Amaranthe muttered and Alison shot her a look.

"Hey, a rocking chair! My gran had one of these." Scott sat down and started rocking, clearly making himself at home. Alison took a place on the sofa. After some hesitation, Amaranthe joined her. Bella offered coffee and a resigned Edward followed her behind the kitchen counter to help.

"So, did everyone have a good Thanksgiving?" Bella asked. "Did I miss much at work?" Alison began about a tale about a customer wanting to buy a harpsichord as Edward got the good mugs down from the high shelf and Bella boiled water. His fingers grazed hers as they each spooned coffee from the jar into the mugs. Bella added the milk. Edward stirred in the sugar. Her breasts brushed against his arm as she moved past him on her way back to the fridge. Edward hissed softly. Bella bit her lip. Alison asked if they needed any help and frowned when they started to laugh.

Edward sat cross-legged on the floor and Bella squeezed onto the sofa next to Amaranthe. Alison was still talking so he zoned out, keeping just a small part of his brain on alert in case he was called upon for some sort of interaction. But he didn't think that seemed likely. Alison had barely drawn breath since she'd arrived. So he sat quietly, pretending to sip his coffee as he and Bella exchanged quick glances over the rims of their mugs. And he tried to seem normal. Even if it wasn't the way he felt. Because too much had happened this afternoon. He'd opened himself to new feelings and ideas and possibilities and he hadn't had time to properly process it all yet. And Edward needed time. That's just the way he was. Right now his heart and mind were in overload. His body too. He ached for Bella. But he played his part. And sipped his coffee. Like this wasn't one of the biggest days of his life.

While Alison talked about her plans for re-organising the stock room Edward watched the way Bella licked her lips after each sip of coffee. He noticed the way her sweater pulled ever so slightly across her breasts with each intake of breath. He liked the way her thumb stroked the handle of the mug. His mind wandered to thoughts of her pregnant, her belly full with his child. Their child.

He thought of the treehouses he'd build. Music lessons. The games they'd play and the kites they'd fly. Bike riding lessons. The stories he'd read. He still had his childhood copy of Treasure Island. His eyes wandered to Bella's book shelves and her well-loved copy of Alice in Wonderland. In a storage shed in Chicago were, amongst other things, a set of tin soldiers and a train set. Antiques to some, family treasures to Edward. They'd been his father's, and then Edward's, and now...

His heart swelled anew as he realised that, maybe, he could have the life his parents would have hoped for him, after all.

"Edward, what do you think?" Alison was looking at him expectantly and he scanned her thoughts quickly to catch up with the conversation. Ah, 70's music. The Ramones.

"I'm not a big fan of 70's music," he said. "I did like some of The Ramones' early albums. But I preferred the Sex Pistols."

Alison was surprised, Edward didn't seem like a Sex Pistols fan, but his answer satisfied. She went back to discussing The Ramones and Edward went back to his thoughts.

What if he and Bella had a daughter?

Edward almost spilled his coffee. He knew nothing of little girls and his mind shifted away from early 70's punk, to doll houses and tea parties and ballet lessons. Did girls like tree houses? Edward wasn't sure.

He shook his head, trying to clear the chaos in his thoughts. He was getting ahead of himself. Way ahead. There was still so far to go, so much to decide. He shouldn't be stocking the toy box just yet. He took a slow, deep breath and focused on the conversation around him, but it wasn't long before his mind was back on the same path, even if it was going in a slightly different direction this time.

He hadn't been kidding when he'd told Bella that he'd be protective. If they did this, he'd be by her side every second of her pregnancy. He'd never leave her. His family would have to bring him his meals in a thermos.

He wondered if he was being selfish, wanting this with Bella? It was a risk for her, a great risk, even with all the information they had and the care she'd be given. But she wanted it too. She'd said so.

Scott told a joke, Edward dragged himself back into the conversation. He laughed along and joined the chatter for a while. More music. The new spy movie that had had nothing but bad reviews yet was burning up the box office. The latest series of The Office and whether the English version was better than the American one. He smiled and nodded and gave opinions. He answered Scott's questions about his car. Amaranthe admired his jacket and he texted her the details of the website where he'd bought it. And then he slipped back into his thoughts as Alison held court again.

Their child would be part vampire, and that would mean hunting lessons. He'd teach them how to stalk and bring down prey. How to hold the legs of an animal still so it didn't thrash while it was drained of its life blood. Show them how to pick the biggest deer in a herd. Teach them the best way to raise a bear from its sleep. How to cut off a mountain lion mid-jump. That was Edward's specialty. It was all a far cry from bike riding and ballet lessons, but just as important.

He looked at Bella, biting her lip as she listened to Alison. He'd teach her these things too, when she was like him. His mind shifted again as he imagined her first hunt, under his instruction. The images made his body stir and he quickly took a deep gulp of coffee, knowing its bitter effect would be much swifter than reciting the periodic table in Russian.

And then Edward focused on Bella's friends again. There'd be time to think and process everything later.

The conversation moved to ice hockey and books and then Thanksgiving as Scott teased Amaranthe over her vegetarian turkey and Alison wondered if she could ask for a second cup of coffee and decided they should all order take-out because this was so cosy and fun. She'd even brought menus with this in mind, just in case. Edward shot Bella a quick look, hoping she'd understand. From the almost-wink she gave him, he guessed she did. A moment later Bella set down her mug and did the most exaggerated yawn Edward had ever seen. And if Alison didn't get the message, Amaranthe did.

"Bella needs her rest," she said, standing and collecting the mugs.

"But I was going to suggest we all get take-out and keep Bella company." Alison looked confused because leaving now wasn't part of her plan. Scott said he felt like Thai food. Or pizza. Just not Mexican because he'd had that for breakfast.

"Bella already has company," Amaranthe said. She pulled up the hood of her coat and stood by the door.

Alison was about to protest but Bella stood up. "Thanks so much for coming," she said. "And for the flowers." Edward unfolded himself from the floor and went to stand behind her, smiling. He rested his hands lightly on her hips. She leant back against him, her warmth radiating through his body. He knew the next time he got her alone and in his arms, he wouldn't be letting go.

"But, I've got menus." Alison opened her bag, revealing a pile of paper. "And I thought it would be a good opportunity for us all to plan the store Christmas party. My uncle can get inflatable reindeers at cost. Snowmen, too."

Edward slowly widened his smile, opening his lips a little, giving Alison just a glimmer of teeth. But it was enough.

Alison suddenly felt very uncomfortable, though she didn't know why. "Of course," she said, and closed her bag. "You need to rest."

"So, no pizza?" Scott got out of the rocking chair.

"We can go out for pizza." Alison grabbed his arm. "There's a place not far from here." she said and bustled him out the door that Amaranthe held open.

"What did you do to Alison?" Bella asked, giggling, once the door was closed.

"Nothing. I smiled at her. That's all."

"Oh. Smile. Right. You did the vampire thing?"

"The vampire thing," he smirked. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"You know exactly what it means." She bared her own teeth and Edward laughed.

"Very menacing," he said. "I'm scared."

"You should be."

He gave her a wide, toothy vampire smile in return and rolled his eyes when she laughed, just like always.

"And it's that disregard for your own safety that's got us to where we are now," he said.

She took a step towards him. "And where exactly are we now, Edward?"

Edward took a step closer, too. Reaching out, he hooked his finger into one of the belt loops of Bella's jeans. He stared into her eyes as he slowly pulled her towards him. He lowered his face and kissed her, very slowly, pulling her body flush with his. Letting her feel how he wanted her. How he loved her.

"I'd say we're here," he whispered.

He lifted her into his arms and carried her to the bedroom, turning on the heat as he went.

ooo

Bella was beautiful. So beautiful. As Edward undressed her he kissed each piece of new skin he exposed. All her gasps and sighs were music to him. The most amazing symphony he would ever hear. And it played just for him. Only him.

"Love you," Bella murmured as Edward brushed his lips against her thigh. His body burned with desire. Bella's scent was intoxicating. Her touch was fire. He growled softly when she tangled her fingers in his hair and tugged. "Want you. Now."

Edward wasn't going to deny her. Or himself.

Holding his breath, he watched Bella's face as he slid into her. His body trembled, letting the bliss wash over him as she took him in. Her body arched and she moaned and Edward bit back the growl that rumbled deep in his chest. So beautiful. The ecstasy painted across her face mirrored his.

The desire for her that had been smouldering before was blazing now. Every time with Bella was perfect, but this time something was different. All week since her illness, all afternoon since his news, his emotions had been kept in check. Pent up and locked down. Now Edward gripped the headboard, and let himself go.

This was more than making love. Every thrust was an affirmation of life. Bella's life. The new life they could create together. Edward began to lose himself, but Bella did too. She grabbed at his arms, the sheets, his hair, while Edward's hands clawed at the wooden headboard. Her blood raced and roared as she cried out his name. His name. Her fingernails raked down his back. The venom pooled in Edward's mouth. Bella's nails on his skin, his name on her lips, the throb of life through her veins, calling him...

Edward's jaw locked tight.

And he gritted his teeth.

The headboard splintered in his hands. He tried to slow down, but a desperate, pulsing need drove him on. A raw, primal instinct to possess her. To claim. To truly make her his in every way. Then Bella's body shuddered, hard, against his. She threw back her head, the arch of her throat so exposed and white in the early evening light. Edward couldn't hold back. A deep roar ripped from his chest as he found his own pounding release, and as he did, he turned his face and sank his teeth deep into the muscle of his arm.

ooo

Edward felt like his body had shattered into a thousand burning pieces. But his post-orgasmic bliss only lasted a moment before a cold creeping panic began to steal over him.

What had he just done?

He let go of the broken headboard and lifted his face slowly. He ignored the stinging throb in his arm and the part of his brain that told him this might be the thing that would finally send Bella running and screaming.

Edward forced himself to look her in the eye. Her shock was obvious as she stared at him, open-mouthed, but what else? Was she scared? Horrified?

Disgusted?

He tried to read her expression but her gaze drifted to his arm.

"Bella, I'm so sor..."

"No, don't," she said quickly, shaking her head.

"Did I scare you?"

"No," she said slowly. "No, I just didn't expect...I've never seen you..." She looked around them. The bed was broken and the headboard was shattered. The sheets were a torn, tangled mess around their legs. Edward hesitantly brushed some splinters of wood from Bella's hair.

"I didn't expect this." She finished her original thought.

"Neither did I," Edward said.

"I've never seen you bite."

His eyes closed and he swallowed hard. "I'm so..."

"No, no, it's okay. I think I'm just...surprised. Shocked."

Just shocked. Not disgusted or horrified. His eyes searched hers, looking for the truth. And he found it. Relief flowed through him.

"Me too," he said and rolled off her and onto the mattress. "I'm so sor..." he began and stopped when she shook her head again.

"Are you okay?" she asked. Edward chuckled darkly.

"I think I should be asking you that." He turned to face her and his eyes did a quick assessment of her naked body.

"I'm fine," she said, and she wriggled a little bit to demonstrate. "See? All in one piece." But Edward didn't miss the faint wince that crossed her face. His heart sank.

"Bella, please don't...I need you tell me the truth."

He knew that in the past she'd often told him things she thought he wanted to hear. He hoped they'd moved beyond that now. He needed her honesty.

"I can feel where you've been," she whispered, smiling gently and touching his cheek. "And I feel a bit...unhinged. In a good way. Like after exercise." She lifted his hand and kissed it, then her gaze drifted to his arm again. She touched her fingers to his bicep.

"Does it hurt?"

"Stings."

"There's no mark."

"Not to human eyes." He debated for a moment, then took her finger to slowly trace the silver curve on his skin. He watched her face as her eyes followed the path of their fingers.

"But other vampires can see it? Your family?"

He nodded.

"And...they'll know?"

"They might." He decided he'd be wearing long sleeves around Emmett for a while.

Edward let go of her hand, but her finger stayed on his skin.

"I'm so sorry." He finally got to make his apology. Bella smiled softly, still touching the scar she couldn't see.

"S'okay," she said. "It's part of who you are. And I wasn't scared..." She stopped and looked up suddenly, meeting his eyes. "Should I have been scared?"

Edward frowned. It was probably one of the most sensible questions she'd ever asked him.

"I...I don't think so," he said. They both looked at the swell of his bicep. Edward swallowed hard. "The urge to bite during sex is always there, but usually I'm well in control of it. Today..." He looked at Bella. "Today was too much," he whispered. "There was too much to feel. I didn't know what to do with it all."

"Oh, Edward," she said, pulling him to her. "But you were still in control. This proves it." She ran her fingers over his arm.

Edward curled around her then. "I probably should have gone for a run instead."

Bella laughed and he lifted his face from between her breasts and smiled.

"You think that's funny?" he said.

"Yes."

"I'm serious."

"I know." She stroked the hair back from his forehead. "You needed time. And a bit of space to get your head around everything and my friends dropping by didn't help." She kissed him. "You needed to run. That's your thing. It's what you do. I should have realised too." She gave a small shrug. "We should have paced ourselves."

He sighed and curled into her again, revelling in her love. Marvelling at her acceptance. And her understanding. Surely someone like her couldn't be meant for him. "Everything was so much...more," he murmured.

"For me too," she said.

When she scratched her fingers over the back of his neck, Edward sighed.

"Have you noticed something?" she asked and he could hear the smile in her voice.

"What?"

"You're not beating yourself up over this."

Edward looked up at her, blinking. She had a point. He knew that there'd been a time when something like this would have sent him from her bed, swearing never to touch her again and that he should never have touched her in the first place. Yet here he was, lying in her arms, his leg between hers, feeling her heart beat against his chest. He wondered at the change in him and whether it had come purely from selfishness – that he knew now what it was like to live without her and would never put himself through that again. Or was it because he knew, in his heart, that they were meant to be together. And being together meant accepting who he was.

"You're right," he said. "I'm not beating myself up." He looked at silver arc on his arm. "I'm working with what I've got." He sighed when Bella tightened her arms around him. "But I'm still not happy with myself," he said.

"Oh?" She giggled and the colour in her cheeks deepened. She wiggled her hips against him. "After your performance this afternoon I think you should be very happy with yourself, Edward. I know I'm happy with you."

He chuckled wryly. "You're flirting again, Miss Swan."

"Oh, I'm more than flirting, Mr Cullen. Or hadn't you noticed?" She nudged him gently with her knee and he hissed.

"I noticed."

She smiled and nuzzled his cheek. "This is so much better than beating yourself up, isn't it?"

His hands moved over her back, slow strokes that gradually swept lower and lower. "Much better," he said.

oooo0oooo

A couple of hours later, sitting at Bella's kitchen counter ...

Bella's point of view

"Mm, this is good." I take another mouthful of the tuna casserole that Edward has made for me, and sigh. "Where did you learn to make it? Food Network?"

Edward nods and leans back against the cupboards, smiling. There's a dish towel thrown over his shoulder and it's a sight worthy of a picture. My domestic vampire.

He tosses the dish towel onto the sink and pulls up a stool. The smile hasn't left his face since we climbed out of bed two hours ago. I reach across the counter and take his hand. And I yawn.

"You're tired," he says.

"It's been a big day."

"It has."

We sit smiling at each other, holding hands in my tiny kitchen.

When I push my empty plate aside Edward puts it in the sink and we move to the sofa. I stretch my legs across his lap.

"Will you tell me about Joham?" I say. "If he came to talk about your lost memory, how did you get onto a discussion about babies?"

"That was Carlisle," Edward says, rubbing his hand slowly along my leg. "He'd already asked Joham about his children before I arrived. It was under the guise of research, and he was curious, naturally, but he was also gathering information for us. Just in case." He gives me a shy sort of smile that makes my heart flutter. Of course he hears it. He drops his eyes, still smiling, and shakes his head while I feel the heat of my blush on my skin.

"Anyway," he continues, "Joham was only too happy to share the details and talk all about it. Then Carlisle filled me in later. He replayed the conversation for me in his thoughts."

"Was Carlisle surprised too?"

"Shocked, is probably a better word," Edward says. "We all thought the myths were just that. Myths." He pushes up the leg of my sweat pants and makes circles above my knee with his finger. Then he tickles the back of my knee, making me squeal and jerk away. He laughs, grabs my leg and pulls it back, holding it firmly in place across his lap.

"So, a six month pregnancy?"

"Yes." Edward nods.

"Blood diet?"

"Um, I'm afraid so," he says apologetically.

"Human blood?" I can't help wrinkling my nose a little.

He nods again. Very slowly. Watching me carefully. "Carlisle would have access through the hospital."

"But I could eat normal food too?"

"Yes."

"And a C-section, with a special scalpel..."

"A serrated diamond-edged scalpel."

"Yeah, that sounds pretty special. And then..."

"And then I would change you." I see him swallow hard.

"How soon after the baby's born? Would I get to hold it?"

"There'd be time, yes. But your body would be weakened by then and the change would have to be soon. Your heart needs to have the strength to pump my venom around your body."

"So, five minutes? Ten?"

"It depends, but within the half hour."

I nod, taking it all in again. He told me all this before, in the car, but I was so busy getting my head around everything...the details were a blur.

"But the baby is mortal?"

"It will have a beating heart, yes."

"And he or she will live for about a thousand years?" Suddenly I realise what this means. In theory, Edward and I would outlive our child. My heart sinks a little. I think Edward understands.

"Yes," he whispers. There's a flicker of sadness in his eyes. "That's something we'll have to consider, too."

"How old are Joham's children?"

"There are five of them," he says. "Their ages range from twenty one to 117, but none of them looks older than their early twenties. Their development is similar, but a little faster, than a human child's. Then the ageing process seems to slow down once they reach maturity at around eighteen or nineteen."

My mind starts ticking and suddenly it's like the proverbial light bulb has gone on over my head. I grip Edward's hand.

"Bella?"

"Eureka moment," I mumble. "Give me a sec." I sit up as I try to get this idea straight in my head. "Okay, they reach maturity around eighteen, then the ageing slows right down."

"Yes."

"And their bodies work like a human's body?"

"Well, yes. The vampire characteristics are mainly in speed and strength and heightened senses. Keener eyesight, sense of smell, taste, hearing. They can hunt, but they need human food to survive. And according to Joham, they prefer meatloaf to mountain lion. In theory, they could even have children of their own."

I take a deep slow breath as the pieces of my picture come together. "Edward, if they wanted, could they be changed once they've reached maturity? You know, at or twenty five or thirty, or whatever?"

Edward's mouth falls open. "I...hadn't thought..."

"It's possible, isn't it? If they have a beating heart?"

He stares at me, blinking slowly, processing. "I don't know, I think, possibly, yes." He sits up straighter too. "You're saying they'd have a choice. Once they reach maturity, they decide for themselves whether to live out a very, very long life, or become immortal."

"Yes."

"I don't know," he says again, frowning now. "I'll mention it to Carlisle, see what he thinks. It's not something we'd want to try without knowing for sure." He pulls his hand through his hair and a shaky half-smile curves his on his lips. "I thought I had all the answers," he says.

"But we've only found more questions."

Edward gently touches my cheek. "Bella, if you change your mind, if you decide you don't want to..."

I'm about to protest and tell him I'm not going to change my mind, I'm just thinking things through, that's all, but then I remember this is Edward I'm talking to. So I don't protest. Instead I acknowledge what he saying to me.

"I understand," I smile. "This is ultimately my choice."

He nods.

"And if I have doubts, or change my mind, that's okay with you."

He nods again.

"But the same goes for you," I say. "If you change your mind. Or have doubts."

There's a flicker of confusion across his face. Then he smiles.

"And if we decide not to go ahead..." I snuggle closer, "it'll still be you and me. And that's okay."

"More than okay," Edward whispers. He lowers his face and kisses me softly.

When he pulls away a moment later, I lean my head on his shoulder and take the conversation on a slightly different path.

"Did Joham have any clues about you losing your memory?"

Edward shakes his head. "No. He was baffled by the whole thing, like we had been." He draws some more random shapes on my leg. "In the end, I think Carlisle's reasoning comes closest," he says, and looks up at me through his lashes. "Losing you was too painful. I blocked my memories to survive." He looks back down at his invisible artwork. A frown clouds his face and I kiss his cheek.

"I'm right here," I whisper.

Edward smiles. "You are," he says and gives my leg a squeeze. "And I suppose, without knowing about you or that part of the story, it's not surprising Joham couldn't come to any conclusions. He thought it was very peculiar." Edward frowns. "He thought we were very peculiar. Our vegetarian lifestyle intrigued him, and his friends."

"He wasn't alone?"

"No. He came with two male vampires. Oscar and Cornelius. Followers, of sorts. They wanted to know how we hunt. How we've lived among humans. Everything. The surprising thing was, Joham had already done some research on us. He knew we'd lived in Rochester and Alaska and Forks and he knew about the Quileute legends too. That's what he was most curious about."

I sit up quickly, surprised. "How would he know about the wolves?"

"Google."

Google? Seriously? "The wolves are on google?"

"The legends are." He goes back to doodling on my leg.

"Well, what did you tell him? About the wolves?"

"Very little. Carlisle played it way down and said we'd heard the legends too but they were just that; legends. Joham believed him because he was certain werewolves wouldn't let vampires anywhere near their territory."

I lean back against his shoulder again. "You didn't mention the treaty, then?"

"No. And going by their thoughts, any interest they had in the legends seemed to fade pretty quickly then." He writes his initials above my knee, carefully marking out an invisible E, an A and then the C.

"Did they know you could read their minds?"

"No," he says and makes a flourish beneath his autograph. "Sometimes it's better to keep that quiet."

He's frowning now and I reach up to smoothe the small V that has formed between his eyebrows. "You didn't like him, did you?"

"No." His frown deepens. "The human women he chooses, the children he fathers, he doesn't see them as family. His connection with them all is very loose. They're not much more to him than subjects in an experiment."
"That's so cold."

"That's why I didn't want him to know anything about you. Because if the myths and rumours were true..." He gives a grim, knowing smile. "A young, human female willing to mate with a vampire." His meaning suddenly becomes very clear. And all along I'd thought he was just being a bit over-the-top about not wanting me to come along to meet Joham. A small shiver runs through me.

"But he's gone now, right? He's left town."

Edward nods. "He's gone," he says. "I've made sure." He lifts my legs and shifts us smoothly so he's lying now with his head in my lap. Grinning up at me, he takes my left hand in his. "Lets talk about something else."

"Like what?"

He strokes his thumb over my engagement ring, slowly. "Well, we have some organising to do if we're still going to have a Christmas Eve wedding."

"We do." I match his grin with one of my own.

"And I'm thinking, Bella..."

"Yes, Edward?"

"The first thing we should do is tell our families the date."

oooo0oooo

The next evening, the Cullens are gathered in their living room, waiting expectantly as a smiling Edward takes my hand, squares his shoulders, and says he has an announcement.

"You already know that, by some miracle, Bella has agreed to marry me..."

"Yep, that's some miracle," Emmett chuckles. Jasper smirks. Rosalie glares at her husband and Edward rolls his eyes and basically ignores his brother.

"We've decided on a date for the wedding," he says.

"Oh!" Esme cries out, beaming.

"I knew it was coming! I knew it!" Alice throws herself at me as Edward tells her to be careful and her hug is only just not painful. "I had a vision," she giggles against me. "A glimpse of a wedding. I've got so many ideas and I know you said before that you want to do things your way, and that's good, but I've been collecting bridal magazines ever since you got engaged, just in case you want some help...so, when's the big day?"

"Christmas eve," Edward says.

Alice lets go of me quickly.

"This Christmas eve?" she asks, wide-eyed.

Edward nods and Alice's mouth hangs open. "I didn't see that part coming," she mutters. "You can't be serious." She shakes her head slowly and though I didn't think it was possible for a vampire to faint, Alice looks like she might come close.

"Oh, we're serious," Edward says. His smile goes up a notch.

"You can't!"

"We can."

"There's not enough time!"

"There is."

"It's less than a month away!"

"Twenty four days, Alice. Trust me, I'm counting."

It's like a tennis match. All of us watching the volley of words between Edward and his sister.

"It can't be done," Alice snaps.

"Yes it can."

"There's too much to organise! We'll never do it in time! Not properly, anyway."

"We?"

Alice folds her arms over her chest as she glares at her brother. Jasper comes to stand behind her. He whispers something in her ear and though I can't hear, I can see the small smirk on Edward's lips. Rose and Emmett have taken a seat on the sofa and Emmett is clearly enjoying the show. Carlisle and Esme watch on fondly as Edward lets go of my hand to tick things off on his fingers.

"We spoke to the college chaplain this morning, and he'll be performing the ceremony. We organised the licence this afternoon. The..."

"What about the venue?" Alice interrupts. "And the music? Flowers? Invitations? The dress!"

Edward takes my hand again and turns to Esme. He smiles, almost shyly. "We were hoping we could have it here," he says.

"Of course," she whispers, eyes shining. "Of course you'll get married here. We wouldn't have it any other way."

Edward smiles and nods his thanks, before turning to Rosalie.

"Rose? Will you play for us?"

She glances towards the piano that sits in the corner by the large windows.

"If I have to," she snarks, but her brilliant smile belies her words. Then she looks at me. "He's so much more bearable when you're around," she says. "Welcome to the family."

"Thanks, Rose." Edward smiles too, and gives her a wink. She winks back and I realise it's the first real sign of affection I've ever seen between them.

"As for everything else..." Edward returns his attention to Alice. He steps forward and kisses her cheek. "Bella and I will take care of it."

Alice scowls and pouts but even frustrated and angry, she's still beautiful. I can just imagine how she'll look as my maid of honour.

"Oh!" She turns to me, all traces of frustration gone. "Yes!" she cries and throws her arms around me again so I'm almost knocked off my feet. "I'd love to be your matron of honour."

"You saw that one, didn't you?"

"I did!" She laughs as she releases me and then I'm dragged over to the sofa to discuss dress colours and whether she should go floor length or not. Emmett stands up to make room, grinning as he does so.

"So, is Edward going to change you?" he asks.

The room falls silent and I feel six pairs of curious eyes on me. I look to Edward, wondering how much he'll say.

"We have plans," he says vaguely, smiling at me.

"What plans?" Emmett asks, and Carlisle suggests he mind his own business.

"I'm sure Edward and Bella will let us know if the time comes," he says. "Why don't we focus on the wedding for now."

The house is full of joy and laughter. Esme and Rosalie are discussing how to re-arrange the room for the big occasion and Emmett and Jasper are planning the bachelor party to end all bachelor parties. They're just like any other family with a wedding in the works. And their excitement and enthusiasm is almost exhausting...and matches my mother's.

Renee's squeal nearly burst my eardrum this afternoon when we called to tell her the date.

"I know it's short notice," I said.

"No, no, honey, the urgency just makes it more beautiful."

Edward had to leave the room so she wouldn't hear him laugh.

Charlie was different, of course. Quieter. Maybe even resigned once he got over his surprise at the short notice. He wanted to know if he should rent a black suit or a grey one.

"I should probably dress up if I'm giving the bride away," he said. He sounded a little choked up. And that made me teary. And Edward pulled me into his lap and held me while Charlie told me, gruffly, that my happiness was the most important thing to him.

"How many guests?" Esme asks, pulling me from my thoughts and smiling as she looks from me to Edward and back to me again.

"Just family," Edward says. "Us. Renee and Phil. Charlie...and he might want to bring Sue Clearwater."

I hold my breath, waiting for the reaction of Edward's family to the news of Sue. Carlisle doesn't miss a beat.

"Of course," he says, and smiles at me. "Sue is very welcome."

"Is that all?" Emmett asks.

"That's all," I say. "It's all we want."

That's not quite true. I'd like Jacob to be there, but there's not much chance of that. It's two days since Charlie called, apologising that he'd let slip to Sue, Billy and Jacob that Edward and I were engaged. He'd told me they were shocked, but he was sure they'd come round, and to expect some calls. And today, after Charlie got over the surprise of our news, he asked if I'd heard anything from La Push yet. I had to tell him no.

"Well, there's always room for more," Esme smiles. "Now, lets talk about cake."

oooo0oooo

Suddenly, it feels like I'm on a wedding rollercoaster. When I'm not in class or at work, I'm planning. Over the next few days we meet with the Chaplain to discuss our vows. We book accommodation for Renee and Phil. Edward spends a ridiculous amount of time on his laptop, being secretive about our honeymoon. "Pack for the sun," is all he'll tell me and I have no idea how a sunny honeymoon is going to work with Mr Sparkly. Esme asks our opinion on floral arrangements for the living room. Edward and Jasper get creative with ideas for lighting up the back garden.

On Saturday I travel to Seattle to visit bridal boutiques with Alice, and find an exquisite gown of ivory silk that fits like it was made for me. Alice smiles and claps her hands as I stand on the small round podium in the middle of the store and tell her this is the one.

"He'll love you in that," Alice says. "It's very chic. Simple classic lines." She stands back and studies me critically, frowning slightly as she twirls her finger, asking me to turn around. "That embroidery around the hem and the neckline is so delicate, just enough detail, but not too much. Yes, this is definitely you. You look beautiful."

And if I'm honest, I feel beautiful. Really beautiful. Which is surprising because I was never comfortable in dresses, but now this one is on I don't want to take it off. And I can't wait for Edward to see me in it. I turn again and look at myself from all angles in the fancy wrap-around mirrors. The silk swishes softly as I move. It's an expensive dress, but Edward's credit card is in my purse. He's told me to spare no expense. This is his gift to me. And we'll only do this once.

On Sunday, I'm doing an extra shift at The Drum while Edward is out with his brothers looking for a suit. There's a new window display that needs to be set up – Christmas Classics – and I'm blowing up one of Alison's inflatable reindeer with a foot pump when my phone rings. Sue Clearwater's name comes up on the screen. My heart starts to pound and my body tenses as I say hello, but relief washes through me when I hear her quiet congratulations.

"Thanks," I say. "I appreciate that. I know this must make things difficult for you."

"And for you, too," she says. "I think sometimes people forget that." I'm assuming by 'people', she means Jake. Probably most of La Push. "Charlie says you're happy and I think that's the best thing we can ever wish for someone. We start with that, and everything else can be worked around."

"You make it sound simple when you put it that way."

Sue sighs. "It should be simple. The problem is we don't always find our happiness where we'd expect to. Or where others might think we should."

Others. "You're talking about Jacob."

I watch my reindeer start to deflate in front of me.

"Have you heard from him?" she asks.

"No."

"Well, he's been busy," she says. Maybe he has been, but I think she's hedging. I assume busy means angry. The reindeer makes a wheezing sound and its head folds in on itself.

"Will you tell him I said hi?"

"I'll tell him," Sue says, and then we say goodbye.

I sit on a box wrapped up to look like a present and drop my head into my hands. Some holly from the bow is sticking into my backside but I don't care. Sue's reaction is a relief. We can work around everything else, she said. I'll take that as a good sign for things with Charlie and her. But Jacob still worries me. So I abandon the reindeer, go into the stock room, sit on an old piano stool and punch his number into my phone. My heart pounds while I listen to it ring. A moment later the phone answers, but no-one speaks.

"Jake?"

I hear him take a slow breath and I prepare myself for the angry outburst I know must be coming.

"I've been trying to think what to say to you, Bella," he says quietly. I close my eyes and my fingers tighten around the phone. "Is it true? You're really going to marry him?"

"Yes," I whisper. "I am. On Christmas eve."

There's stony silence. It drags on. I begin to wonder if he's still there.

"Jake?"

"I'm here."

"Will you say something?"

"What? Say what?"
I know it's the longest of long shots, but I go for it anyway. "Say you're happy for me?"

"That's not going to happen." His voice is so cold. So calm. I was prepared for anger, not this cool detachment. A shiver runs along my spine.

"Weren't you going to call me? Not even to yell at me? Not even to tell me I was making a mistake?"

"Is that what you want me to tell you?"

"No! Of course not."

Silence.

"Bella, when I heard, I was going to drive over there to yell and shake some sense into you. I even had the car keys in my hand. But Beth and Sue made me stop. They told me to calm down and think first."

"And?"

He sighs. "Like I said, I've been trying to work out what to say. Not that it would make any difference, because you've made your choice. And it's not what I'd want for you. So maybe it's best to stay quiet."

"No, Jake, we can still…"

"No, we can't." He cuts me off. "We can't be friends. We can't be anything. You know that. You know."

My stomach knots and my eyes burn. I do know that. I've always known. "We can't help who we love," I whisper. "You should know that, better than anyone." There's another long silence. Finally, Jacob speaks.

"I do," he says. "That's why I know there's no point in me saying anything."

Amaranthe walks through the door, takes one look at me and leaves again. I can't imagine how I must look right now.

"I'll hear about you through Charlie," Jacob says, so quietly. "But I know that one day you'll stop visiting and start making excuses for missing Christmases and birthdays, and I'll know what's happened then. And I don't want to think about that." His voice breaks. A tear slides down my cheek and I let it fall. "What I will think about, is you sitting on my garage floor, with grease on your hands, passing me the wrong tools while I rebuilt those motor bikes."

"Jacob…"

"I've got my own future to think about now, Bella. You have yours." His voice breaks again. "Just…remember the bikes."

The phone goes silent, but I keep it to my ear because I'm not ready to let him go. Jacob. He was my friend. He kept me together when my world fell apart…

The hurt washes over me and memories of those motor bikes flood my mind. It seems so long ago now. A lifetime away. I was a different person then, and so was he. And as I remember, I see the truth in what he says – our futures are taking different paths. But I wouldn't change my path for anything. Neither would he.

"I'll remember the bikes," I whisper, and finally, I let Jacob go. I put my phone away but I'm in no hurry to move. Not just yet.

As I wipe at my face the door opens slowly, and Edward appears.

"Bella?"

In a flash I'm up off the piano stool and in his arms, burying myself in his chest.

"Amaranthe called me." His voice is torn with anxiety and there's tension in his body. "What's happened? What's wrong?"

"I talked to Jacob."

"Oh." Edward's voice hardens. "What did he say? Do you want me to…"

"No, no. He just said…we said goodbye."

"Ah. I see. I'm sorry." He holds me tighter and we stand there, still and silent, just wrapped in each other. "I'm sorry," he says again, after a while.

I look up into Edward's eyes. There's so much love there. And concern. But his hair is messier than usual, like he's been frantically dragging his hands through it. He's minus his sweater and his shirt is untucked from his jeans. I tug on the hem.

"I was in a change room when Amaranthe called," he murmurs and smoothly tucks himself in. "I left in a hurry."

My heart flutters s little at the image of him dropping everything to come to me.

"You were trying on wedding suits?" He nods and I feel the beginnings of a weak smile on my lips. "Did you leave a trail of clothes behind you?"

"Just a bit." He gives me a small smile, too. "Emmett and Jasper will take care of it. I was needed elsewhere."

My heart swells now and my eyes fill again.

"Thank you," I whisper. "I love you so much."

"I love you too." Edward tucks me in close, under his chin. "Will you be alright?" he asks.

"Yeah, I will. I'll be fine." I sniff. "I'm going to remember the motor bikes."

The stock room door opens. Alison sticks her head in.

"Bella, what's going on? You're needed on the counter. Oh, Edward, you're here. I didn't know." I tell her I'll be there in a sec and she disappears quickly.

"I'd better get back to work."

I start to move, but Edward takes my hand, kisses me softly, then whispers in my ear…

"What motor bikes?"

oooo0oooo

By the following weekend our small wedding is all but organized. And our new bed has arrived. A special order, with extra reinforcing, and it just barely fits in the bedroom.

"It's big," I say as Edward sits on the floor, surrounded by tools, putting it together. "Enormous."

"Well, we ordered king size. And we won't always be living here." He looks up at me, smiling. "And that's something I want to talk to you about." He motions for me to sit too and when I go to sit beside him, he pulls me into his lap. "I think we should get our own place," he says and nuzzles my neck with his nose. "Somewhere without neighbours living on the other side of paper thin walls. Somewhere with better heating and a bath for you to soak in, not just a shower. Somewhere with a study for you to work in, and read in. A garage for the cars. An open fire place…"

"I've always liked open fire places."

"I know. And there'd be a huge bedroom for the enormous bed." His smile warms. "A library for our books."

I glance at the dresser, piled high with books, my course texts mixed with some recreational reading. There's another, similar, pile on the nightstand that's been pushed into a corner, but those are Edward's. My bookmark protrudes from the pages of one.

My eyes come back to Edward.

"Sounds like you've got something in mind."

He seems nervous now. His face is serious. "I do," he says and pulls a real estate flyer from the back pocket of his jeans. But he doesn't hand it to me. Instead it drops to the floor and suddenly I'm on my feet, by the wall, and Edward is in a crouch in front of me. My head spins and my heart races and I look around for…I don't know what.
"What? What's happening?"

Edward straightens and the horror on his face sends my heart into free fall.

"Dear God, no," he mutters and moves quickly to the front door. "It's Jacob."

"Jake?" Has he come to yell at me after all? My legs feel shaky as I follow Edward into the living room. "But we said goodbye."

"He hasn't come to see you," Edward says. "He's come to see me." He closes his eyes and rubs his hands over his face. "This isn't about us. This is about someone from the tribe. Kim."

"Kim? Jared's girlfriend?"

Edward opens the door and Jacob is there.

I can't believe the change in my friend. It's like he's aged a thousand years. His six foot seven frame seems shrunken; his shoulders hang, defeated. But it's his eyes that really shock me - haunted and hollow and full of pain. But when he sees Edward his face hardens and his fists clench at his sides. He stands to his full height and now his eyes flare with anger. His body starts to tremble, like he's about to shift into wolf form. I call his name but he doesn't even look at me. Edward blocks his way.

"Jacob, I'll help anyway I can, but I can't let you in until you calm down." He throws me a quick glance over his shoulder.

Jake shoots me a fleeting look, then turns back to Edward.

"Jacob…" he warns.

Suddenly Jake takes a breath. He shuts his eyes, opens his fists, and exhales sharply.

"Have you been in my head, Cullen? Did you get it all?"

"I got it all," Edward says. "And I'm sorry Jacob."

"We don't want sorry," he snaps, and then his whole body seems to sag. He rubs his hands over his face, like Edward did just a few moments ago. "How fucked up is this, that you turn out to be the only person we need right now."

Edward says nothing, but steps aside and Jacob comes into my living room.

"Bella," he says, barely glancing at me.

"Jake…" Confused and frightened, I look from him to Edward. "What's happened?"

Jacob shakes his head. He opens his mouth but can't seem to form the words. His fists tense again. Edward angles his body in front of mine.

"There was a vampire in La Push last week," Edward says to me, but his eyes are on Jake. "The pack attacked and killed him, but not before Kim was bitten."

I hear all the words, I know what they mean, but it's as if I can't absorb them. Like they've skimmed the surface of my understanding without sinking in.

"Bitten?" I look from Edward to Jacob.

"Bitten," Jacob glares at me. "She's a…she's like him." He jerks his head towards Edward.

"Oh." Still, the words just swim on the surface. I can't take this in, but deep in a corner of my mind a connection starts to form. "Joham," I whisper.

"Not quite," Edward says. "From what I see in Jacob's thoughts, it's Cornelius."

My legs buckle and Edward comes to me, scoops me into his arms and sits with me on his lap on the sofa. The room spins. Everything feels unreal, it's like I'm watching a movie, watching this all happen from the outside.

"Where is Kim now?" Edward asks, voice urgent.

Jake's watching us closely as he lowers himself into the rocking chair. The wood groans and creaks under the weight of him and the sound fills the room. "There's an old cabin, up near the border. Leah and Paul and Jared are with her. I was there too, until today. We decided this morning that…" he scrunches up his face like he's in pain. "That we need help. She's had three days of, I don't know what you'd call it, agony doesn't seem strong enough, but now she's like an animal. She's wild and it takes all of us, in wolf form, to keep her in the cabin." The defeated look is back in his eyes. "But sometimes she just cries."

"She's thirsty," Edward says. "She needs to hunt."

"We've been shooting deer and bringing them to her." Jakes says. "We figured if animal blood worked for you, then it should work for her. But it's not."

"It's not the same," Edward says. He glances at me before turning back to Jake. "It's not just the blood she needs. The hunt is crucial. . She has to stalk her prey and chase it to bring it down. You can't just bring it her. She has instincts that need to be met. She has to feel the pulse of the animal as she bites. The adrenalin released during the chase makes the blood richer, sweeter, and she needs that too. Feeding from a carcass will barely quench her thirst." He pauses. "Right now she's terrified and confused. All her senses are in overload. And all of that, combined with her thirst, is making her uncontrollable."

Jake's face is a mask of revulsion. I know I should be feeling something, but I don't. I can't. It's like everything is washing over me, leaving me untouched. For some reason, my real focus is on Jake's untied shoelaces. One of them curves onto the floor in an almost perfect S. Edward grabs the blanket from the arm of the sofa and tucks it around me. It's only now I realise that I'm trembling.

"Does she remember Jared?" Edward asks.

Jacob nods. "She remembers all of us. But when she sees Jared, that's when she cries. And he cries too." For a moment I think Jake is going to cry. He leans forward, bracing his arms on his knees. "So what do we do? Let her loose in the woods to hunt? How do we know she won't head for the first human she smells?" He grimaces again. "This is killing Jared," he says. "It's killing all of us."

Edward takes his phone from his pocket and his thumb is a blur as it moves over the tiny keyboard. "Jasper and I will come," he says. "I can get inside her mind, Jasper will help with moderating her mood. The first step is to take her hunting, and then we can go from there." He puts the phone away. "We'll also set up signs of a fatal animal attack, that's probably the best cover story."

"Fake her death?" Jake is appalled. "That's cruel."

"It might seem cruel, but this way her family and friends will have closure. Trust me, it would be more cruel to let them think she might walk back through the door one day. But if you have an alternative…"

Jake shakes his head. "No," he says. "I got nothing." He rakes his hands through his hair. "What happens now?"

"You go back to La Push and I'll follow shortly with Jasper." He hesitates. "I'm assuming we'll be allowed across the treaty line."

"Yeah," Jake scrubs his hand over his head. "This kind of changes things. It changes a lot of things." He stands. "I suppose I should thank you," he says stiffly.

Edward nods and eases me onto the sofa as he stands too.

Jacob looks at me and I don't know what to say. I open my mouth, fumbling for words. "I'm so sorry," is all I can manage. His face crumples.

"So am I," he says, and then he's gone.

Edward brings me a glass of water and crouches down in front of me.

"Are you alright?"

"I…think I'm in shock. Am I in shock?"

Edward nods slowly and pulls me into his arms. "I don't want to leave you," he says. "But I have to go."

"I know."

"And I'll be gone for a while. A few weeks at the very least."

"A few weeks." I echo his words and they sound hollow on my tongue, like they have no meaning. He could have said a few minutes, or a few years, it all means the same.

Edward's phone rings. He speaks quickly, at vampire speed, so I barely catch a word.

"Emmett and Rosalie are coming to La Push too," he says when he hangs up. "And Alice is on her way here. She'll stay with you."

"Okay."

He touches my cheek, then stands and disappears into the bedroom. I sit and stare at the stain on the rug. When he comes back and I see the car keys in his hand, that's when everything hits me. Hard.

"Oh my god," I gasp. I stand up quickly and the blanket falls to the floor. "This is our fault. This is all our fault!"

"Bella?" Edward's face is concerned as he comes towards me. "It's not…"

"Yes it is! Joham and his evil sidekicks came here because of us, because of us, and now…"

"No," Edward crosses the room quickly and takes me in his arms. "You can't think that."

"But it's true!" I yell at him. "You know it's true. And now Kim…" A sob catches in my throat and I fight my way out of Edward's arms, pummeling my fists against his chest. "If we hadn't…"

"Bella!"

"If we hadn't wanted to know about those myths…"

"Not you! Me!" Edward raises his voice. "Me! Joham came to talk to me. Carlisle had been tracking him down before you and I were even back together, you know that."

My tears start flowing. Edward pulls me into his arms again and now I sob against his chest. He's right, I know. And Joham had known about La Push before he even got here.

"I'm sorry," I mumble.

"You've had a shock."

A huge shock. I think of Kim, and how she and Jared were laughing and so in love at Thanksgiving.

"What do you think will happen? The wolves won't abandon her?"

"There's no sign of that," says Edward. "Like Jacob said, this changes a lot of things. And from what I saw in his thoughts, Jared's imprint still stands. He still loves her." Edward strokes his hand along my back. It's soothing.

"So, you'll go to La Push?"

"I have to," he says. "Kim can't go through this alone." I feel his body tense slightly. "I'm sorry about the wedding."

"We'll find a new date," I say.

"We will. I promise." Edward tucks me under his chin. "Charlie will probably be asking questions soon. People will wonder where Kim has gone."
I lift my eyes to Edward's. "I'll have to lie, won't I?"

"Yes."

"I can't," I whisper. "I'll never be able to keep it up."

"You'll have to, Bella. And if there's a memorial service, you'll have to go."

"I couldn't."

"You'd be expected to go and it would be strange if you didn't. You have to keep up appearances. That's your first priority."

The thought of it is too much, and my tears start again.

"I can't. I can't do this."

"Yes. You have to." His voice is firmer now. "This is part of it, keeping up appearances. This is part of my world, part of the world you want to belong to. And this won't be the last lie you tell. This won't be the last faked death. And next time it mightn't be some random vampire that we're cleaning up after. It might be one of us, one of my family. And if you change, it could be you."

"No." I back away from him, shaking my head.

"I'll do everything in my power to make sure that doesn't happen, but there can be no guarantees. Not with a vampire."

I don't want to hear this. I screw my eyes shut as if that will make everything stop and the last half hour will go away.

"And if we have a child, Bella, they'll have to learn to lie, too." Edward's voice is low and soft now. And sad. "We've been planning a wedding and ordering flowers and talking about a future, but part of that future will always involve death, and lies, and having to move at a moment's notice because someone has slipped up."

"Why are you saying all this? Why?"

"Because you need to hear it. You've talked about the bubble we used to live in back in Forks? Well, we're really out of the bubble now, Bella. This is my reality." He takes me in his arms again. "I love you," he says and his voice breaks a little. "I love you more than my own life, but you need to be sure this is the life you want." I cling to him, burying my face in his chest. "And if you change your mind, I'll understand." I feel his lips in my hair. "Whatever you decide, Bella, I will always love you."

His phone beeps and I know he has to go. He kisses me, hard, like his life depends on it, and then he's walking out the door and I'm alone.

I don't know what to feel. I'm not sure I even really know what's happened here in my small apartment this afternoon. It's like my life has taken a different direction and left me behind. Like my heart and mind can't keep up with what's just happened.

I walk back into the bedroom on shaky legs, and see that Edward's assembled the bed. He must have done that when he came in to get his keys.

"Vampire speed," I mutter and run my fingers over a glossy wooden bed post.

The nightstand is back in place too. Edward's books are neatly stacked. I run my fingers down their spines, and my tears fall again when I see that my bookmark is gone.

oo0oo

A/N: Thank you all so much for your patience while waiting for this chapter.

And thank you to Melanie, my friend and beta, who read through this chapter during a tornado warning and sent me an email saying she might lose power and have to go to the safe room at any moment. What a woman, what a beta. Big hugs Melanie, thank you! And if you haven't read her stories on here, you should check them out. She's Edward'sEternal and she's brilliant J

There is one more chapter of The Keepsake, and after that an epilogue.

If you'd like to know what I've been up to with my original fiction, you can check out my website. FF won't allow web addresses in the author notes, but it's the usual www and then my author name, suzannecarroll, and then dot and com. Or you can check out my Facebook page where I'm Suzanne Carroll, Writer.

Thanks again to everyone who's still with me on this journey. Thank you for reading and reviewing and for all your support, it's appreciated more than I can say J