Seize the Day
By BekahNicole
Disclaimer: I sadly do not own anything associated with the Newsies franchise and/or Broadway. Disney owns that, and I in no way shape or form am trying to infringe on that. This is merely for fun. Of course, I do own some OC's in this which if you know the franchise, can quickly pick them out. I do appreciate feedback but not hateful criticism. With that being said, I encourage that you review my work with positive and helpful suggestions. Thank you, enjoy.
Chapter 7: Grudges and Hurt Feelings
I cried myself asleep that night. I heard footsteps and voices every now and then but I ignored them and they seemed to ignore me. I tried not to let that bother me. I was angry. No, I was beyond angry. Most of my anger is directed at my older brother and best friend. They had crossed two different lines that should never be crossed. And because of this, I had no intentions of talking to either. Not that I could talk even if I tried to my brother on account of me having no idea where he lives. As for Racetrack, I have no intentions of acknowledging his very existence. As far as I'm concerned, we are no longer partners.
I woke up to a new sound. It was that man that was behind the front lobby's counter last night. He was yelling wake up calls for the newsies. He went around to every bunk making sure we were all awake and getting out of bed. He got to my bunk seeing me already awake and sitting up in bed. He smiled kindly before saying, "Well, I think I like you already Rose. I'm Kloppman, the lodge's caretaker and the guy that makes sure these boys don't get into too much trouble."
I gave him a small smile. He moved on from my bed to the next. My brother was still asleep in the bunk next to mine and I saw Kloppman abruptly ending his sleep. I chuckled to myself seeing poor Gabe's expression. I turned my gaze back in front of my bed as I noticed someone standing there. I looked up and met Racetrack's eyes. My face contorted into a one of annoyance and swung my legs over the side of my bed. I quickly pulled my shoes on my feet and stood up, blocked by Racetrack.
"Rose, look I-"I shoved my way passed him not waiting to hear what he was going to say. I knew a couple other boys saw this and noticed their looks of concern. I know the other boys knew Racetrack and I were as close as you could get being friends. And seeing us in this horrible fight must be concerning. However, I was in no mood to talk to my former partner. I went along with my business getting ready for the long day ahead of me. To be honest, I don't know how well selling will go by myself. But I'll be damned if I let Racetrack or Jack or any other newsie help me.
I actually managed to beat most of the boys out the door this morning. However, instead of waiting for them to finish like they always do, I went ahead and started the long walk to the distribution center. I was still fuming when I got to the center. I leaned against the gate outside the center and waited for them to open. Of course, the boys started to show up way before then. They started to form a line as usual. Most of them decided to leave me alone seeing the type of mood I was currently in.
However there was one exception.
"Heyya Rose, what's with ya hurry dis morning?" asked Jack. I quietly glared at him, hoping he's leave me alone. However, my hopes were dashed as he stood there and crossed his arms giving me one of his 'looks' that told me he wasn't messing around. I realized he wasn't going to leave until I obliged him. With a sigh, I answered with, "Didn't feel like tawkin ta no one."
He thought about this for a moment before returning with another question. "I thought youse was mad at Race? What's with ignorin da rest a us?" he honestly seemed upset that I had ditched them. I thought about this hard. I hadn't really thought about why I had left. I was really only angry at Racetrack as Jack had said. The more I thought about it, the more flushed I could feel my face getting. Then it hit me. I was embarrassed. Racetrack had blatantly called me weak in front of more than half the Manhattan Newsies. I was afraid that the rest of them felt the same way.
I looked around my surroundings, making sure no one was close enough to hear what I was about to confess to Jack. Grudgingly, I fessed up to the leader. "I'se embarrassed…" I mumbled just loud enough for Jack to hear me. He looked at me confused. He questioned me without even saying anything. I let out a huff and gave him an annoyed look. "Race called me weak. In front a all da newsies. Dey probly all think dat now." I stared at the ground where my feet stood, afraid to see Jack's reaction confirm my suspicion.
He gently lifted my chin to look him in the eyes. He gave me his most genuine smile before speaking, "Rose, none a da guys think youse weak. Race was jus mad. I can guarantee ya he didn't mean none a it." I just looked at him for a minute pondering what he said. I almost gave him a small smile but my eyes moved passed Jack's body and saw the familiar face of Racetrack, arms crossed with a cold expression, obviously waiting to talk to me. Immediately, I cleared my mind and hardened my face back to its stony glare. I moved my chin out of Jack's delicate grip and leaned back against the gate folding my arms across my chest.
Jack gave me a solemn look and walked away to the front of the line. Seeing his chance, Racetrack made his way over to me. I ignored his presence as long as I could, refusing to look at him. Finally he had enough and began talking. "Look Rose, ya can pretend ta be mad at me or ya can drop it an let me explain myself." The nerve of his! This isn't any act I'm truly mad! He was granted with a stone-cold glare. He flinched slightly, realizing his word error. "Dat's not what I meant. See…I'se jus don't want ta see ya get hoyt!" He tried to recover his previous statement. I merely kept up my gaze. He obviously doesn't get why I'm mad at him. I shook my head side-to-side frustrated, and pushed myself off the gate to stand up to Racetrack.
He actually backed up slightly at my action, surprised I was actually getting in his face. I waved my finger in his face as I ranted to him. "Look Racetrack Higgins I ain't mad cus a dat! Da fact dat ya don't even know why I'se mad makes dis whole thing worse! Ya embarrassed me in front a all me friends and basically called me weak!" I practically screamed in his face. Unknowingly, I had attracted a crowd of newsies. They all gathered around to see how this was going to play out. So far, it didn't look like it was in Racetrack's favor.
"Rose…I'se jus tryin ta protect ya!" Racetrack exclaimed waving his arms in the air. I rolled my eyes at him. There he goes again!
"No! Ya know what, neva mind. I'se done Racetrack." I was so mad, I was having a hard time controlling that anger. I've never been this mad in my life before. Just then the line started to move as the gates opened and newsies began buying their papers for the day. I started to turn to keep up with my spot in line when I felt a hand around my wrist. I didn't have to turn around to know who it was. I pulled my wrist away from Racetrack and turned around to look him in the eyes so he'll get the message clearly.
"Racetrack we're done. I ain't ya pahtner no moah! Jus leave me alone!" I yelled this as harshly as I could. I was almost taken aback at the hurt expression that crossed his face. Ignoring that, however, I caught up to my spot in the line. I bought my papers and quickly bolted away from the center and headed for my usual selling spot. Just because Racetrack showed me this spot doesn't mean I'm not going to use it. Besides, he used to go to Sheepshead Bay to sell before I came along. I assumed that's where he'd head now that we aren't partners anymore.
I sold my 30 papers easily, even though I was fuming on the inside. The shiner over my eye really helped attract worried customers who wanted to help out the poor, young, innocent, beaten girl trying to make an honest living. With my money jingling in my pocket I made my way to Tibby's. I opened the door and was met with stares from all the newsies. Most of them gave me sad looks and started to whisper about what happened earlier that morning.
I saw Jack trying to smile at me with the normal group of boys. He tried waving me over, but seeing the depressed form of Racetrack slumped in his chair next to him, I turned to sit at another table. I ordered my usual sandwich and water and mainly kept to myself. I caught Jack and a few other guys at his table turning around to look at me. I ignored them, thinking their probably just whispering about what happened. I'm sure Racetrack filled them in on what was said this morning if they hadn't heard it themselves form my yelling. He probably twisted the story to make them pity him or something.
I didn't stay in Tibby's any longer than necessary. As soon as I had finished and flung a few coins on the table for the meal, I promptly left. I knew it was killing all the guys on the inside knowing I was walking around Manhattan by myself without a newsie 'escort'. Whatever, they'll get over it. I went straight back to the lodging house. I stormed up the stairs and went to the window crawling out. I landed on the fire escape and looked up seeing it lead to the roof. Perfect, a place to think. I made my way up the escape and climbed over the edge to the roof. I found a couple crates lying to one side and dragged them over to the side of roof that overlooked the best skyline of Manhattan.
I got comfortable and sat down staring out into the skyline. Before I knew it, the sun was setting. I had spent the rest of the day sitting up there thinking about everything. Besides my ongoing fight with Racetrack, my main concern was Nick. What was I going to do about this? I mean, my brother attacked me in our first encounter and then slapped me hard the second. I'd hate to see what the third will bring to the table. But, even though he ditched our family, I refuse to think he intended to do that to me. I want to think that if he knew it was me, he never would have done those things to me. But, seeing as how he's running with that dirtbag Shadow, I don't know what to think. Oh I pray to God that there's some underlying meaning with his choice. Or maybe that's it. Maybe it isn't his choice. Maybe he was forced into it somehow. Yeah that's gotta be it! I mean there's no other explanation. I mean other than him actually being just as much of a dirtbag as Shadow.
"That can't be it…" I mumbled to myself, not realizing I was thinking out loud. "What can't be what?" asked a familiar voice. I whirled around; unaware that someone had climbed onto the roof behind me. Jack stood there gazing at me with his solemn expression. Once I realized who it was, I slowly turned back around to watch the sun set over the spectacular skyline. "What're you doin heah Jack?" I asked not taking my eyes off the mixture of orange, yellow, purple, and pink in the sky. I slowly sat down next to me, smiling once he got comfortable.
"I always come heah ta think. It's peaceful ya know?" He said, turning his gaze out into the horizon like me. I gave no reply. We just sat there, the two of us staring out into the city taking in the beauty. I really like it up here. Just like Jack said, it's peaceful. It's a place where I can get away from the hustle and bustle of what my life is becoming. We sat there in complete silence until Jack finally broke it.
"So, ya nevah answered me question…what can't be what?" It seems he wasn't going to drop that. I contemplated for a while, going over in my head whether I can trust him or not. A few minutes passed and I guess Jack assumed I wasn't going to tell him. Before he got too far away I quietly spoke.
"It's my bruddah." Every part of me wanted to shut up and quit talking while I could get out of this. But, I felt I needed to get it off my chest. I don't want to tell Gabe just yet. He's too young to really understand the complexity and he'll just want to go out looking for him. "Who? Gabe ya mean?" he asked not fully understanding what I was saying.
I took a deep breath before continuing. "No. My older bruddah, Nicholas. He left me muddah, Gabe, and I two years ago when our faddah left. We haven't seen or hoyd from him since. Until, the day I was attacked by Shadow's gang. He was with them Jack. I don't think he recognized me the foist time but yesterday when I was with Race, he clearly saw me afta he slapped me." Realization dawned on Jack's face as I spilled the story.
"Wow…" was all Jack could get out. I sat where I was, staring at my feet now. I felt so ashamed to say what I just did. Jack must think so poorly of my family now. I didn't wait for an answer to come before I slowly got up from where I was perched and made my way back to the fire escape. I felt a few tears threaten to fall down my cheek. I felt a soft hand grab my shoulder and give it a squeeze in reassurance. Somehow that's all I needed. I turned around to look at Jack and mouthed 'thank you' before giving him a pure smile and climbing back down the escape. Jack followed me in through the window and shut it behind us.
I went straight to my bed and plopped down on it. I curled up into a ball and lied there feeling the few tears finally fall. They slid easily down both of my cheeks and making sure to make my eyes red. A few boys noticed my strange behavior and moved to help. However, Jack would give them a look or shake his head and they'd back off. I wouldn't know it but one newsie was feeling guilty for me crying. He thought it was his entire fault that I was silent and crying to myself in bed. Racetrack watched as I slowly cried myself asleep again, feeling as though it were entirely his fault.