Chapter Six: Heartfelt Confessions
Carol glanced right past Ed to where Daryl stood with Rick and Shane, cutting chickens into quarters, trimming fat, rubbing spice rub into the meat. She didn't know how he hadn't cut himself as many times as his eyes returned to her. He made her feel safe. She listened to Jacqui and Lori as they opened cans of baked beans and chopped vegetables, but her smile died a quick death as Ed – unhappy with being ignored – sat down at the table next to her and began dicing the potatoes she'd peeled.
He kept his voice low and neutral to prevent the others from hearing, every word grating on Carol's raw nerves. "Enjoyin' your little game, Carol? And don't think I can't see it as just that. I know you're only here with him to make me jealous."
She sliced through the skin of the spud, focusing on her task in a vain effort to stop her hands from shaking. "You really need to stop being so presumptuous, Ed. I would actually have to care for you to want to evoke such emotions." Her eyes rose to his face, internally gleeful to see the muscle ticking away in his jaw as he clenched his teeth. "But you're nothing to me. You never have nor will you ever be. Daryl is the man I love, and I will always choose him."
"C'mon, Carol, you know you were meant to be mine. Otherwise, you never would have gone out with me in the first place. He doesn't really want to be here with you," he snarled. "He's not treating you as good as I could … he doesn't give you enough attention, the attention you deserve."
Carol chuckled, seeing just how desperate the man really was. "Y'know what, Ed? I don't have to explain a damn thing to you … now or ever. Daryl makes me happy and I'm damn proud to be with him. Now, get a clue and just leave us alone. I for one, intend to enjoy myself this weekend." With that, she got to her feet and stalked off towards her 'boyfriend', leaving Ed fuming in her wake.
"Let it go, man," Rick said as Daryl stopped mid-cut, his eyes narrowed dangerously on the man sitting with Carol. "She's surrounded by the others over there. He isn't going to make a move on her with so many witnesses."
Daryl glanced up at the cop. He looked a bit different in a pair of board shorts and a Hawaiian themed shirt, but it was still the man Michonne loved. He'd talked to him on several occasions over the past three years, Carol dragging the couple to cookouts in the park on a free weekend, or just over to the garage for a few beers on a Sunday afternoon. He couldn't allow his antisocial ass to ruin her fun all the time.
Shane finished making the spice rub and began adding it to the meat. "Don't worry about Ed, Daryl. We'll be keeping a sharp eye on him."
"Y'all find out anything substantial from that background check y' told Carol y' was gonna run?" he asked, finishing up with the last chicken and washing his hands at the small sink.
Rick nodded as he reached into the ice chest and grabbed a few beers, handing one to Daryl. "It was pretty clean, which surprised me, frankly. He just looks to be the type with a rap sheet a mile long."
Shane moved over to the pit to check the glowing coals, ready to add the meat. "He grew up in Griffin, made decent grades in school, worked for a farmer's supply store … kinda boring if you want my opinion."
"Yeah, but it was his relationship with that girl who disappeared which raised a flag for me, considering what he's doing to Carol."
Daryl's fingers were white-knuckled on the neck of his beer bottle, the liquid souring quickly in his stomach. "What girl?" Again, his eyes sought out his girl, mere feet away.
Rick and Shane shared a look, wondering how much they should reveal. Rick went for full-disclosure. Daryl needed the facts if he was going to protect Carol from Ed's advances. "I made some calls, just to make sure we had all the facts. He was pretty heavily involved with Margaret Littleton, also from Griffin. Some folks witnessed a rather heated argument between her and Ed, and … three days later she up and vanished. A few thought she might've run away, others thought Ed could have done something to her. He was arrested, questioned, held, but nothing would stick. He had an airtight alibi for the time of her disappearance. After graduation, he moved to Peachtree City to go to college, and the case went cold."
"Christ!" Daryl breathed. "I can't let him get his hooks into Carol."
Shane closed the lid on the pit and nodded. "Yep, it happens. It's not unusual for a case to go cold. Nobody wanting to speak out against one of their own, small town and all that. We did send one of our detectives up there to see if he could dig anything up. We're hoping we hear from him soon."
"We're going to help, Daryl. We can't just sit by and let it happen to another girl, and Michonne would have my balls if I let anything hurt Carol on my watch."
Daryl drained his bottle and tossed it into the recycle bin as Carol abandoned her chore and hurried over to where he was leaning against the wooden deck rail. His arms immediately opened to her, allowing her to nestle against his chest. "Hey, y' a'right?"
She grinned, though it didn't meet her troubled eyes. "Fine … just missed you, is all."
Daryl hugged her, reassuring and warm. "They're stackin' wood for th' bonfire. Wanna walk down and watch? Rick said there's gonna be music an' dancin' later. That might be fun." He'd do anything he could to take her mind off her worries.
"That sounds great."
Daryl nodded at the two officers who'd commandeered the barbeque pit. "We're gonna head down t' the beach. Give a yell if y' need us."
Rick watched them go, hoping his friends could find a little peace away from Ed's unwanted presence.
*.*.*
Carol giggled, shifting closer to press against his side as Daryl groaned. "It ain't funny, woman," he admonished with a grin."
She arched a brow, enjoying the way the light of the bonfire was reflected in his smoky blue eyes. They had finished dinner, followed by several pans of Ooey Gooey Butter Cake for dessert, and were now curled up on a blanket with their backs against a large log. Her friends and classmates were gathered around the bonfire listening to Michonne and Professor Marks argue about human behavior. She was taking the assignment seriously, but Carol couldn't have cared less at the moment, not when she was enveloped in Daryl's arms and more relaxed than she could ever remember.
The night was warm and balmy with a slight breeze which toyed with the ends of his over-long hair, and her fingers itched to test its softness. "Well, no one twisted your arm to eat that third piece of cake, so if you're miserable, it's entirely your fault."
Daryl rubbed his belly. "Your friends know how t' grill a mean steak, an' 'Chonne is killer with th' sweets. Y'know I ain't one t' pass on a good barbeque."
Carol rested her head against his shoulder and sighed as his arm tightened around her. If only it could always be like this between us, she thought, a bittersweet smile touching her lips. She wanted to be like this with him from then on. It physically hurt her heart to think of returning to the friend zone. She enjoyed the intimacy of his warm touch and sweet kisses, more than she should when she knew he was only pretending.
She let her gaze wander over the others, noting Michonne had abandoned their professor and dragged Rick out onto the sand to dance with her, several other couples joining them, including Shane and Lori. Jerry, their ever-lovable TA had taken over the job of DJ from the Peters twins, thankfully, and the first strains of Skynyrd's Simple Man breathed life into the celebratory air.
Carol turned pleading blue orbs on Daryl. "Dance with me …"
He snorted. "I don't dance, woman, an' y' know it. I ain't Merle." The eldest Dixon used any and all tricks to get what he wanted, and if making an ass out of himself on the dance floor would get him the girl, he was all for it.
He watched her pearly teeth rake over her luscious lower lip and had to bite back a groan. What he wouldn't do for the chance to rescue the soft pink flesh and suck it between his own.
"Perhaps not," she agreed, "but you can stand there and sway to the music. C'mon, Daryl, please? I really love this song. It reminds me of you."
Vixen! She was playing dirty and no doubt knew it. It just happened to be one of his favorites, and with the added bonus of having her in his arms, how could he refuse? He rolled up to his bare feet, having shucked his sandals earlier, and held out his hand to her. "A'right, but don't complain t' me if I step all over your feet."
Carol beamed at him as he led her over to the fringes of the area where the other couples were dancing and pulled her into his arms. Her own went around his neck, her breasts pressing against his chest as she leaned in as close as possible. Heat snaked its way through her veins just as love for her wonderful friend swelled her heart. If only …
Daryl felt her shiver. "Y' cold?"
She shook her head, not breaking eye contact with him, her gaze warm. Her clever fingers kneaded his nape, causing his lids to stall at half mast, a low growl rumbling deep in his chest. It was as if they were the only two on the beach, the rest of their party forgotten. There were no classmates, no professor, no staff and definitely no Ed. It was just her and the man she loved, wrapped in a cocoon of contentment. And yet she still craved more.
If he'd have been privy to her thoughts, Daryl would have wholeheartedly agreed. "Whatcha thinkin' about so hard?" he asked, his breath whispering across her lips.
"I could ask you the same," she murmured, her heart rate picking up in an unsteady tempo as his lips brushed hers. She wanted to push, to close that last inch between them and take his lips, to kiss him and claim him, to make him hers, but she refused to take advantage of him.
"You … always you, Carol. Don'tcha know that by now?"
Her lips parted on a silent gasp. "What do you mean?" she asked, hope springing to life behind her breastbone, making her voice take on a breathy quality.
Daryl swallowed hard, his heart threatening the thunder right out of his chest. He couldn't pretend with her anymore, and though his tongue was threatening to stick to the roof of his mouth, he fought against it, determined to tell her what he couldn't hide another second. "Can I ask y' somethin'?"
Her fingers twined in his soft hair, not wanting him to go too far when he leaned back to look at her, his expression serious. She was a little nervous, wondering what had made his carefree demeanor change. "Of course, you know I'll always be honest with you, Daryl. Always. You can ask me anything."
He took a deep breath and then huffed it out, exasperated with his own inadequacies when it came to articulate speech. "If … If Ed wasn't a threat … damnit," he cursed his fumbling tongue. "If we didn't have t' pretend … if no one was watchin' …" He tilted her chin up, his eyes boring into hers. "Would you still want to kiss me?"
Carol felt the solitary tear slip from the corner of her eye, unable, unwilling to try to stop it as she breathed, "Yes … oh, Daryl, I –"
It was as though he couldn't hear her, however. Now that he'd gotten past that first question, he couldn't seem to stop. "I … I mean, I love bein' your friend, Carol. Y' barged into my life an' y' jus' fit. Before, I didn't really know what it was like t' even have a friend because I was too busy pushin' people away." He dropped his gaze to the perfect outline of her collarbone, finding it easier to get the words out without having to look into her lovely eyes. He didn't think he could bear to see rejection in those deep azure pools. "An' then I fell in love with y', an' it really messed with my head. How could I ever expect y' t' love me back, someone like me who can't stand th' thought o' bein' touched?"
"Daryl …"
"When y' kissed me that first time … when Ed followed y' t' th' garage, I was a mess. I got it, ok? Y' needed me t' help, t' pretend. But it wasn't like that for me. All I could think about was y' in my arms, that it might be th' only chance I ever got t' kiss y' like that." He could feel the stringent burn of tears behind his lids, but he charged forth, determined to get it all out. "I almost panicked when y' wanted t' call it off an' cancel this weekend. I know it's all fake, but I didn't want t' give up. I had t' see if I could take it … see if I could have y' touch me without me completely losin' my shit over it."
Carol's lips pressed into a thin line to still their trembling, praying she could continue to hold back the broken sobs which made her throat ache for release. Tears washed silently over her ashen cheeks, spilling over her lashes and dripping from her chin. To hear him say so much all at once had come as a shock, but what he was saying floored her even more.
"I … I ain't … I ain't never had no one touch me like that, Carol. Y' freed me, an' made me see I could be more … for you. Y' made me realize I couldn't waste any more time bein' afraid," he whispered brokenly, his throat raw with restrained emotion. "I want us … I want us t' be real. I know y' wanted t' jus' pretend, but I had t' tell y', Carol. I had t'."
She couldn't hold back any longer, her whole body jerking with the force of the sob which tore past her lips, forcing him to finally lift his gaze to her tear-streaked face. And once it was free, she couldn't stop as she burrowed against his chest and gave in to her tears.
Daryl stroked a hand over her long french braid, feeling like an ass. "Gawd, Carol, I'm so sorry. Please don't cry."
"Shut up!" she cried, her arms tightening around him, her fingers knotting themselves in his hair.
His teeth clicked as he slammed his mouth closed, not wanting to add to her anguish. So, he waited, knowing her tears would eventually dry up … or so he hoped. It tore at his heart that his confession was causing her so much pain. He should have kept his mouth shut, should have known better than to take his brother's advice.
"I think I've loved you since the first moment we met," she said, her voice heavy with tears but clear and concise. "You were so shy when you came out there with the tow truck to rescue me. And there I was talking a mile a minute, trying everything to get you to just look at me." She sniffled. "Then you finally looked up and I found myself l-lost in those eyes. In that moment, I knew I'd never be the same."
"Really?" he asked, at a loss for what to say. This couldn't be happening, not to him. The odds that she'd return his feelings had been stacked against him. He was just a mechanic who'd barely made it through high school, a touch-starved introvert who could barely string two words together in mixed company. How had he ever won her heart?
Carol brushed the moisture from her face and gave him a watery smile, her heart in her eyes. "I love you, Daryl. I just never thought you'd feel the same about me. I thought I'd be stuck in the friend zone forever, and I was ok with that. I'm happy to be your friend, but …" She raised up on her bare toes and brushed her lips to the beauty mark adorning the upper corner of his mouth. "I want so much more. I need us to be real."
Daryl crushed her to him and buried his face in the crook of her neck. It was a mirage in the desert, a fleeting dream, a wisp of smoke through his fingers. "Pinch me," he laughingly demanded, his warm breath against her skin making her tremble.
"You're not dreaming."
Michonne slapped Rick in the center of his chest – a little harder than she'd intended – as she watched the scene unfold across the sand. "Ow!" he hissed, pulling back to look at her. "I thought you liked this song. There's no need for violence."
She clucked her tongue against her teeth and shot him a look. "Carol … she's crying!" she whispered heatedly, maneuvering him around so he could see for himself. They were dancing not far away and could clearly see the moisture trailing over her friend's face. "What the hell do you suppose he's telling her?"
Rick's eyes narrowed as he watched the couple. They'd stopped moving to the music, simply standing there, toes buried in the sand. Daryl looked as if he was scared to death, Carol was openly weeping, and they clung to one another as if the world was going to end. Dixon was a tough nut to crack, he knew from experience. It had only been over the last year he'd begun talking more when the four of them got together. But anyone with eyes could see how much he adored Carol.
Michonne squealed as the pair melted into one another, surprised the sand beneath their feet didn't turn to glass with the heat they were exuding. "Holy shit! Did you see that?"
Rick chuckled and steered her away. "Looks like Dixon finally made a move. Never thought I'd live to see it, frankly."
She sighed, dewy-eyed and rested her head against his chest as they watched the pair retrieve their sandals and make their way up the wooden staircase leading back onto the patio, Daryl's arm firmly circling Carol's waist, her head on his shoulder and a blissful smile on her lips. "I don't think I've ever seen her so happy."
Rick held his girlfriend a little closer and rested his cheek atop her head, swaying to the strains of the music still pumping across the sand. His eyes searched out the rest of their party, looking for one in particular. Ed leaned back against the log farthest away from the bonfire, one hand curled around a beer bottle, his knuckles white as he watched Carol leave the party. His face was a mask of rage, his skin ruddy in the light of the bonfire. Rick knew there was going to be trouble before the weekend was over, and he'd have to step up his game if they were to protect Carol from getting caught in the crossfire.
He glanced over at Shane, catching his gaze. His partner merely nodded, a resigned look on his face.
*.*.*
There was just a sense of rightness, the way she fit so perfectly against his side, yet the closer they got to their room, the more his palms began to sweat. What had she meant when she'd said she wanted more? He swallowed convulsively, his stomach churning with nerves. Did she expect him to be all over her like a cheap suit when they returned to their room? He felt the fine hairs stand up on his nape as a shiver tracked up his spine. For fuck's sake, BREATHE, Dixon! How would it look if y' passed out in th' middle o' th' damn hallway?! Maybe she already knew.
A/n: Thank you all so much for reading my story. I can be such a sap when it comes to Caryl feels :D Next time: Daryl calls Merle to check in, and Carol begins to break through more of Daryl's barriers. There will be some smut. I'd love to hear what you all thought of this chapter. Once again, a boatload of thanks and love to my betas BettyBubble and Geektaire.