Twenty Years Later- Bunbunmaru Spirit News archives
Doll Youkai may or may not be regretful!
In Gensokyo, there are many a civilised person, however, like all places in this world, there are some savages. A good example of this would be Medicine Melancholy, a vicious Doll Youkai that was once well-known for her tendency to poison people.
Even we, the innocent press, have suffered from her although at the time, we were unable to print a story about it, on account of our houses being filled with poisonous gas, namely a substance that apparently smells of bitter almonds known as Hydrogen Cyanide. However, recently, this Doll Youkai apparently sees fit to claim that she has reformed, and that although she remembers her former crimes, she is a better person who is there to help others.
Our good informant, Miss Alice Margatroid apparently knows a little about this, and claims that the doll is, in fact, telling the truth, that she came back from severe injury innocent, not remembering what she had done, and when she got her memories back, she was horrified by her actions, and has devoted herself to the Myouren Temple as an atoner, following in the footsteps of a certain Minamitsu Murasa.
However, this reporter not made of the naïve stuff of Alice, no, she will uncover the real truth of this! That she is, in fact, plotting an incident far too great and too terrible to even imagine! Perhaps she is secretly poisoning the water supplies, or is collecting flowers together to make the greatest poison mist ever seen in Gensokyo!
So, I visited the Myouren Temple to visit the doll, however, when I got there, Miss Shou Toramaru told me that all she had visited the temple for was to pray to Bishamonten for strength and that her dharma be restored to neither good nor bad, before leaving to help a certain Eirin Yagokoro. She has clearly fooled the Buddhists into thinking she is devout, but I did not fall for it!
I travelled to Eientei, and politely entered Eirin Yagokoro's pharmacy, where I found the diminutive form of the Doll Youkai at the stand with Eirin, several flowers in hand. What happened next was documented in interview form.
Aya: Stop! Stop right there, murderous doll!
Eirin: Not you again... are you sober this time?
Aya: All too sober! And I have a sobering thought for you, my dear doctor friend!
Medicine: Um... did you just call me murderous?
Aya: Silence! Miss Yagokoro, I regret to inform you that you are employing a murderess!
Eirin: I... don't employ her. She's volunteering here, to make digitalis for curing heart murmurs.
Aya: Volunteering? What reason? Merely the kindness of her heart? I think not! She must be sabotaging your medicine!
Medicine: If I were to sabotage Eirin's medicine, do you not think she would know? I've come to know Miss Yagokoro fairly well... she founded Lunar Society, I imagine she's smart enough to spot poisoned medicine.
Eirin: As far as I'm aware, all Medicine has done is extract essences of various flowers, poisonous and non-poisonous, for use in my pharmacy.
Aya: But... but... she's a murderous, human-hating monster!
Eirin: Was. I should know, I kept her in a vacuum cleaner at one point. Long story. Anyway, this Medicine appears to be a completely different person.
Aya: But with a past like that, how can you not tell she's lying?
Medicine: ...Byakuren said it would be like this. That some people would not be willing to forgive and forget. I'm sorry for what I've done in the past, truly...
Aya: How can I trust the person who tried to murder me?
Eirin: The person who tried to murder you was far from subtle. She didn't try to lie or trick you. To be honest, even when she was a murderess, she was more reliable than the likes of you. She always told the truth, I have got to give her that.
Aya: Are you implying that I'm less reliable than a murderess?
Eirin: No, I know you are less reliable than a murderess. Given recently, Reisen brought you into my office, high on some kind of black solvent, while Medicine has been faithfully serving me ever since her reformation, I think I'm far more inclined to trust her.
Medicine: I... I'm sorry, Miss Shameimaru. Please believe me. Do you want some opium? It might calm your nerves a little. You have every right to be scared of me...
Eirin: Don't encourage the idiot! She's just trying to smear your reputation, it's all this paparazzi is good for. If she was scared, she wouldn't have broken a wall of mine just to pick a fight with you.
Aya: I'm no paparazzi! I bring information to the public! I am the eyes and ears of Gensokyo!
Medicine: Eirin, you've upset her... please try some opium. I should know of how good it is, before I... um... died, that is, the first time, Alice gave me some, I've never felt so good in my...
Aya: Stay out of this, doll! How dare you besmirch the pride of Pure and Honest Shameimaru?
Eirin: For pity's sake, Aya. What else do you call a woman that tries her hardest to make a contender for the bloody messiah out to be a murderess? Who'll publicly condemn a man for giving gifts to children? Mock perfectly intelligent werewolves? And blame everyone else for getting high? Wait a moment, come to think of it, you're not a paparazzi... you're just a horrible person!
Medicine: Eirin, fighting fire with fire never solves anything. In the words of Byakuren...
Eirin: SHUT UP, I'M TRYING TO DEFEND YOU!
Aya: You... you... YOU BIG MEANIE!
Eirin: Well, that's mature.
Aya: I try to stop this murdering murderess from murdering all your patients, and you mock my profession! My life! My entire being!
Eirin: No. I'm just not letting you insult a good woman. She's not even trying to defend herself! Do you know what most people call a person that attacks the defenceless? A bully.
Medicine: It is just karma reminding me to do my dharma, there is nothing to worry about, Eirin. She will only strengthen my resolve to show the world that I am atoning for my sins...
Eirin: Come off it for once, Medicine! Please!
Aya: She... she doesn't fool me!
Eirin: And you assume she's somehow fooling me? Are you implying I'm somehow less intelligent than you?
Aya: Well... I... um...
Medicine: Come now, both of you. Aya did not mean to insult you, Eirin, she only meant to remind me of my duty, as karma would. I think both of you could benefit from a good amount of opium...
Eirin: Oh, you know what, it's the only way I can stand fools like this, so give me some...
Aya: Um... well, I can't stand you either! Doll girl, give me some of that!
Medicine: (hands both a glass of poppy milk) I hope you enjoy it... I am glad I could be of use reducing the aggression in this room...
After that, everything was really happy! I found out that actually, me and Eirin have a lot in common, and that, with the right substances and incenses, I could expand my mind! I never realised opium was so awesome, I managed to find out Eirin can actually smile! We also played a prank on Reisen, who then blamed Tewi and got her into trouble with Kaguya!
Oh, it was totally awesome! So... uh... yeah, maybe Medicine isn't such a bad person after all... I mean, it could all be an act, but she managed to hook me up with some good stuff! Who wouldn't trust a person who gives you mind-altering substances for free?
Article written by Aya Shameimaru
Present-day hindsight: Like, I keep telling Aya she has a problem with dependency on substances, but she never listens. I wish that, like, for once, she would just accept that I might be right about something. I mean, what if Medicine really is up to something? Would Aya care? Or would she just take some opium and be high as Gensokyo gets poisoned?
Not that I think Medicine's up to something. She seems to be a totally different person.