This chapter has been a year in the making. I am very sorry for the delay. I have suffered thru some emotional loss and divorce. I am back and I hope with a vengeance. It has been a rough year and so has Chandra and Alistair.

I would like to thank Evilblood for adding my to her ff fav and her review. Thank you very much you made the difference for me not giving up on this story.

Chapter 20

My Lover and My King

What is a moment? Was it a split second in time to change the course of events or influence the one most dear to my heart? A moment was all I needed, but didn't have. Before I knew it I was on one knee bowing before him, "I am yours to command, my king. What is your bidding?"

Seconds past and my heart began to beat wildly in my chest. I looked up into the face of my lover and my king. The boyish grin of uncertainty had been replaced with cold hard indifference. I knew then that I had condemned us both with the folly of my decision.

I tried to swallow back the hard lump that lodged itself in my throat, but it was too late. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't think. All I could do was react. The corners of my eyes began to swell and fill. I didn't try to stop the emotions that fountained from my eyes, then again, I really didn't have a choice.

I wanted to whisper a thousand apologies to him as I knelt numbly in front of him. He took my hand in his and helped me up. His calloused hand that once caressed my body, lingered in mine for only a moment. "I love you," I mouthed in silent supplication.

I'll never forget what he said next, "Would you take Loghain's place and lead our armies against the blight."

It wasn't the request that bothered me. I would gladly do anything he asked of me. No, it was the flat emotionless tone he addressed me in. It hinted nothing of the intimacy that bound us together, but rather of propriety as a king addresses one of his subjects.

His eyes widened and a soft sigh passed through his lips when he opened his mouth to speak. I contemplated at what he might say. Would it be about my declaration of love or the acceptance of his impending servitude? I waited patiently for him to find the words. His answer would not be forthcoming as he slipped through my arms to fall at my feet.

"We forgot about the queen," it was an absent-minded thought spoken aloud with the realization that things were not as they should be.

They say that time stands still for no man. What about a woman? In the time it took to sneeze or hold one's breath, it did just that. Chaos gave way to mayhem and all Theadus knew that the newly appointed king had been assassinated. It played out like a beautiful waltz, dazzling and spectacular.

My pathetic mind attempted to piece together the dreadful events as I reached furtively for my love. Somebody screamed and the crowd parted. Guards swarmed around me and Alistair's limp body was whisked away.

I gazed at my outstretched hands, neither seeing nor wanting to believe. They were open and covered with blood – his blood. My hands were the altar and Alistair had become the sacrifice.

The lament was disheartening as it rang high above the rafters, causing the finches to stir and flee their nests. It was a reciprocal between a keening and a battle cry and it was coming from me.