Twenty Years Later- Bunbunmaru Spirit News archives
New Goddess of Time's secret revealed!
They say that a carp can, with enough tries, jump over the gates of the Dragon Palace, and upon doing so, will become a great dragon themselves. Whether this tale is a myth or whether it is true, in it is contained an important lesson... sometimes the weakest ones of all can, with time and persistence, become... frighteningly powerful.
Even if there haven't been any carps that have become dragons in recent years, someone fitting the analogy has arrived- Miss Minoriko Aki, former Goddess of the Autumn Harvest, has now become Goddess of Time and Seasons. Her power seems to lie in a relic that she holds, a purple crystal of some sort, one which allows her to teleport and manipulate the flow of time. I at first assumed it to be an amethyst, but according to Aki herself, it is 'an emerald of chaos', bestowed upon her by 'a mysterious youkai, borne of no original form of his own'. In times past, she even attempted to cause an incident, although it was swiftly dealt with by Reimu Hakurei, Marisa Kirisame, Sanae Kochiya, and that French man who's name escapes me.
With regards to the trinket, I just assumed that Nue Houjuu had given it to her, but whenever I questioned her, she just laughed it off, irritating me somewhat. Not to be discouraged, I returned to Minoriko's new shrine, a grand thing indeed, and decided to try and get a straight answer as to how and why the Goddess so suddenly gained her awesome new powers. The questioning went like this:
Aya: Hello, new Goddess of Time!
Minoriko: Do not address me merely by my title! Address me by my full name!
Aya: Uh... okay. Hello, Minoriko Aki.
Minoriko: No, my full name and my title!
Aya: Ugh... fine. Hello, Minoriko Aki, Goddess of the Harvest, Seasons, and the Flow of Time itself.
Minoriko: That's better. What do you wish to ask me?
Aya: I was wondering if you could just... answer me, no riddles, who it was that gave you the key to your power.
Minoriko: If I gave you a straight answer, you might ask the person for one too, and then you'd be just as powerful as I, and you aren't even a God, just a mere youkai!
Aya: Why would I want to stop time? I can move fast enough...
Minoriko: As fast as I can?
Aya: Admittedly, no, but...
Minoriko: Ha! Such weak worms!
Aya: You know, most people who were once weak and bullied tend to be kind to the weak once they gain power, but clearly you just see this as an opportunity to be a bully yourself.
Minoriko: You dare accuse a Goddess of being a bully? The Greek Gods of the Outside World showed clearly that Gods are meant to torment mortals.
Aya: The Greek Gods were also hated by everyone. I hope you realise this conversation's going in the Bunbunmaru Spirit News. I imagine everyone will be so glad to see their Harvest Goddess is such a pleasant person.
Minoriko: I am not just a Goddess of the Harvest! I am the Goddess of Seasons! OF TIME!
Aya: Oh yeah, what happens if I take this... (takes purple gem from her)
Minoriko: No... no... give that back!
Aya: Make me. Use that dominion over time and space you were bragging about! Well, I'm waiting!
Minoriko: Interviewers shouldn't torment their interviewees... (reaches for gem, Aya pulls back)
Aya: Hee hee! This is fun! You want the gem?
Minoriko: Give it to me! (reaches and misses again)
Aya: You want the gem?
Minoriko: Give it to me! Your Goddess commands it!
Aya: If you want! (kisses Minoriko) Oh, wait a moment, I don't swing that way, sorry.
Minoriko: SUCH INSOLENCE! GIVE ME THE GEM!
Aya: Only if you tell me where you got it from.
Minoriko: But you... but you...
Aya: But I'll...
Minoriko: Once you know, all of Gensokyo will know how to be as powerful as I...
Aya: Don't flatter yourself. Even with this gem, you're only about as powerful as that human maid in the Scarlet Devil Mansion.
Minoriko: THAT'S IT! GIVE IT TO ME, OR I WILL DESTROY YOU!
Aya: But... if you fight me without this, you'll lose. I don't like to fight hard, but I'm hardly going to let someone as weak as you win...
Minoriko: Please!
Aya: Did... did I just hear Minoriko Aki, Goddess of the Harvest, Seasons, and the Flow of Time itself plead to a lowly youkai like myself?
Minoriko: I'm begging you! Just... return it to me!
Aya: Only if you tell me who gave it to you.
Minoriko: Fine... I'll tell you. I had to tell those wretched humans when they defeated me, as well... now that you know, everyone will...
Aya: Just tell me.
Minoriko: It was that mimicking youkai man! You know, the one that ate me that one time! I stole one from him, he stole it back, and later on, he gave me another for free as a way of making amends for... um, you know, eating me.
Aya: That monster! I should have known he'd be responsible for corrupting a religious figure! It must be part of his scheme to make Shinto look like a bad religion!
Minoriko: Um, no, I think he just wanted to make it up to me. Although, he did say that I should make some noise, fight the powerful humans of Gensokyo. I went to him later, after I lost, and he said losing to them was part of the fun. I don't understand him at all... to think, he's able to grant even Gods great power... what is he?
Aya: I don't know, but I intend to find out! It's such a shame that one so evil can be so dashingly handsome!
Minoriko: Uh... you find him handsome? He looks kinda weird to me... I dunno, I kinda preferred the strange human man that defeated me...
Aya: Um... I... well... I DON'T HAVE A CRUSH ON HIM, OKAY?
Minoriko: I never said you did. Oh... heh heh... okay, give my emerald of chaos back, you've had your fun. If not, I'll declare your undying love of him to my followers. They'll be glad to have something to laugh at, rather than fear.
Aya: I'd rather return it to you that you to spread heinous slander... (returns gem)
Minoriko: Now, there's also the matter of that wall. You just broke part of the holy shrine to the Goddess of the Harvest, Seasons, and the flow of time itself. So, tell me, do you want to rebuild that for me? My power source is back, so I can... properly motivate you.
Aya: Fine, fine, I'll fix your stupid walls!
So, after I rebuilt the collapsed and clearly poorly built walls of the Aki Shrine out of the kindness of my heart, I decided to go to the Dawitsu Mansion to confront him about yet another one of his evil schemes, however, when I got there, his house was completely empty... he must have been out somewhere.
However, my war against his schemes are not over! I, Aya Shameimaru, will foil his grand master plan, and seduce him to turn him into a good guy! I mean... defeat him in battle! Yeah! That's what I'll do!
Article written by Aya Shameimaru
Present-day hindsight: I wonder at times... like, does Aya realise how stupid she sounds?
Okay, like, maybe that was harsh, but, like, Aya totally was kicking herself, because while she was out covering that, I found out where that Dawitsu guy went off to... and, like, that story really was the biggest story ever! Well, like, at the time, it was.