Twenty Years Later- Bunbunmaru Spirit News archives
Kind-hearted Reporter makes visit to hard-working mother!
As I am sure you already know, Reimu Hakurei, once famed incident resolver and shrine maiden of the Hakurei Shrine, has recently taken on a child which she raising to be her successor. Though I, pure and honest Shameimaru, have done everything in my power to find out the parentage of this child and who could have fathered it, it would seem that Reimu was telling the truth; the child is adopted and its parents are unknown.
Anyway, due to my kind and compassionate nature, I decided to visit the adoptive mother, due to her recent diminishing from the limelight, and check up on how the little one is doing. Of course, I wrote down everything that happened, and attempted to get an interview from Reimu Hakurei, as well as the little one, Patricia.
The little girl is starting to grow up, and apparently is going to turn four in August, so I imagine that will be an interesting birthday party. I know if I could have organised events for my fourth birthday, I'd hang skulls and candles and all sorts of creepy stuff up, but I don't think Reimu likes celebrating birthdays. When I went to her last one, she punched me in the face...
Anyway, this is what happened when I visited...
Aya: Hello! I'm here to visit you!
Patricia: Mummy! Mummy! Someone's broken the house! (runs away from Aya and heads into another room, and returns with Reimu, holding her leg)
Reimu: Patricia, please don't call me mummy. Oh. It's you.
Patricia: I didn't break it. I didn't. It was her, mummy.
Reimu: I believe you, Patty.
Aya: Hello!
Reimu: Okay, what is this? Why are you here?
Aya: I've just come to ask you how you've been. You know, how's the kid coming along and what have you.
Reimu: It was going fine, until you broke the wall. Now Patricia could escape any time she wanted!
Patricia: I won't run away, mummy. I'm a good girl.
Reimu: That's what you said on the way to Aunty Marisa's house, but you still did it, didn't you?
Patricia: (holds head down and pouts) Sorry, mummy.
Reimu: Reimu. I'm Reimu.
Patricia: Sorry, Reimu.
Aya: Why are you so worried about Patricia calling you 'mummy'. I think it's kinda cute.
Reimu: You know why, tengu, so just keep quiet while Patty's still around.
Aya: Oh... she... she doesn't know?
Reimu: Well, no, I figured I'd wait a bit for... wait, why am I talking to you? Get out of my house!
Patricia: Mummy, who is she?
Aya: (kneels to Patricia's level) I'm Aya Shameimaru. I'm a very important tengu. I write the newspaper which your mother reads from.
Patricia: Mummy reads? What's reading? What's a newspaper?
Aya: Huh? Oh, perhaps she doesn't. Anyway, what I do is I write things down and tell everybody about it by putting words down onto paper with little squiggles, and then people look at the squiggles and see words.
Patricia: Oh! So, like how Aunty Marisa makes magic from books!
Aya: Yes, I suppose it is like that.
Reimu: Patty, you know how you didn't tell the truth about running away from me and almost got eaten by that big plant?
Patricia: I remember that. Sorry, mummy...
Reimu: No, no, I didn't want you to say sorry. Aya over here never learnt not to lie as a child, and now she lies all the time.
Patricia: Did the big plant get her?
Reimu: No, but lots of people get her all the time. Because Aya doesn't say sorry for her lies. She's a bad girl.
Aya: I... I'm not a bad girl! Don't listen to your mother, sweetie.
Patricia: But Uncle Jean tells me that mummy only says things to help me, and that I have to listen to her all the time.
Aya: Well, your mummy's wrong this time. I'm not a bad girl, but sometimes mean people get upset when I write down something they don't like and... um...'get' me.
Patricia: Oh, poor Aya Shammy Mayo. (hugs Aya)
Reimu: I don't believe this...
Aya: (lets go of Patricia) So, little Patricia, because I do important work for the newspaper, I need to ask you a few questions about the birthday party you have soon.
Reimu: You're not using my child for your stupid...
Patricia: If you put what I say into squiggles, will people see what I said?
Aya: Yep.
Patricia: Yay! I want to answer your questions!
Reimu: Patricia, don't answer her questions. Aya's a bad girl, as I said, don't listen to her...
Patricia: (begins to cry) But... but I want to!
Aya: Oh, Reimu, you're such a big meanie...
Reimu: Shut up, Aya. Patricia, I don't want you to answer Aya's questions because she'll show what you say to everyone, and then people might laugh at you or...
Patricia: I want to! Mean mummy! You're mean!
Aya: Reimu, I may be a paparazzi, but even I wouldn't humiliate a child. I just want to ask her some questions.
Reimu: Huh? You never admit you're a paparazzi...
Patricia: Can I answer her questions? Please, mummy? Pleeeeeeeaaaaaase?
Reimu: Well... I... um...
Patricia: I said 'please'!
Reimu: Ugh, fine.
Aya: Hooray! Okay, little Patty, first question. What do you want for your birthday?
Patricia: I want the big light-making thing that Aunty Marisa has, the one that makes a big light and goes 'shwoooooom'! Then I want a broom, and I want a stick like mummy's and then I want a hat and pet plant that eats things and a doggie and a gun that makes holes like the one Uncle Dawi has!
Reimu: What have I told you, no talking about... that man.
Aya: Your kid's cute, Reimu. I'm now utterly convinced you're not related.
Reimu: Shut up. Just... shut up.
Aya: Anyway, Patricia, here's the next question. Who's your best friend?
Patricia: My best friend is Aunty Marisa! She took me flying on her broom, it was really fun! She's funny too, she tickles me and then she tickles Uncle Jean and then they both tickle me together. Aunty Marisa checks my muscles too. She says I'm a big strong girl! When I grow up, I want to be just like Aunty Marisa!
Reimu: (a tear forms in one eye) Patricia, don't... don't speak so much about Aunty Marisa.
Patricia: Mummy? Mummy, are you crying?
Reimu: N-no, no, I'm not. Answer Aya's questions, Patricia, I'm going to go away for a moment. Don't run outside... (Reimu leaves room)
Patricia: Mummy?
Aya: (whispering) Ssssh. Don't tell your mummy I told you this, but you should be nicer about her. She works very hard to make sure you're safe, and she's gone away because she's a little upset about how much you like your Aunty Marisa. Remember who you live with. Go on, follow her, tell her you love her. Say that you're sorry, and also thank her for saving you from that plant. The ones in the Forest of Magic love to eat human children, you're lucky to be alive. So go on, I'll still be here to ask you questions.
Patricia: Oh... okay. (leaves room)
(a short wait occurs, and Reimu comes back with Patricia)
Patricia: ...and I love you more than miso soup, and I love you more than Uncle Dawi, and I love you more than flying brooms, and I love you more than...
Reimu: ...that's enough, Patty.
Patricia: I'm really sorry, mummy- Reimu. Really, really, really sorry.
Reimu: I know you are. Now, answer Aya's questions. (looks to Aya) Thanks.
Aya: It was nothing. Okay, little Patty, here's your next question. What's one add one?
Patricia: Easy! (begins counting on her fingers) Two!
Aya: Oh, she's smart. What do you think of Suika Ibuki?
Patricia: She's funny! She walks around like this (staggers around in an attempt to impersonate a drunk person) and plays 'climb the mountain' with me!
Aya: Climb the mountain?
Patricia: Yeah, but it's just a pretend mountain. Suika makes the beds and blankets into mountains and we have to climb to the top! I always win, though...
Reimu: You mean she lets you win.
Aya: Oh, come on, Reimu, she's just a kid, let her think she's really won.
Reimu: But if she doesn't lose every now and then, it'll get to her head. Trust me, I know from experience.
Aya: Yes, you do, Miss Never-loses-at-anything.
Patricia: Who's Miss Never-loses-at-anything?
Aya: Your mummy. She's a very important person in Gensokyo, you know. And you're going to be an important person some day too!
Reimu: Aya... I haven't told her about all that yet...
Patricia: About what?
Aya: Oops...
Reimu: Uh... you should go.
Aya: But I have, like, five more questions I want to...
Reimu: GET OUT! Thanks to you, I have to explain a few things to Patricia. So leave. Now. Patricia, say goodbye to Aya.
Patricia: Goodbye, Aya Shabby May Through.
Aya: Bye-bye, little Patty. Remember what I told you, okay?
Patricia: I will! Bye!
In the end, I felt a... warm feeling when I dealt with that child. She's a cute little thing, that's for sure. And I'm sure she'll grow up to be a fine young woman some day, even if her mother... adoptive, that is, is a touch on the grumpy side.
I have all the best wishes for young Patricia and Reimu alike. This is pure and honest Shameimaru, telling everyone that Reimu, while quiet, is doing just fine, as is her child.
Article written by Aya Shameimaru
Present-day hindsight: Like... it's always strange when Aya shows that she can actually be nice, because I get so used to assuming she'll always do the most mean thing possible in any situation.
I, like, feel a little warm myself whenever I think of little Patricia when she was that little. What a cutie-pie!