"T-Thank you all for coming," The old man who happened to be the Village Elder's smile was brittle as he stared down the five Adventurers that sat across from him in the small meeting room, "I knew the Guild was sending some Adventurers who would deal with our Goblin problems, but I hadn't expected it to be the Goblin Slayers."

That he had hoped that the Guild would have sent someone else, anyone else, remained unsaid.

"That is no problem," Undead Master said stoically from across the table, still clad head to toe in full armor, "Now that we are here, please gives up a more accurate report on the Goblins, as well as any updates that you may have since the last time you spoke with the Guild."

"R-Right. What do you want to know about them?" Village Elder gulped.

"Estimated numbers. Behavior. Size of their nest. Any sighted larger ones, such as Shamans or a Hob," Undead Master elaborated systematically, "I also believe another group of Adventurers attempted to clear these Goblins out before us. Do you have there been any updates as to their fate since? Have you been able to recover the bodies?"

"I, er… well…" Village Elder stammered eyes wide and confused at the laundry list of things Undead Master had just bombarded him with.

"Geez, Undead Master. You're normally so quiet, but when the topic of Goblins comes up you always run your mouth off like this. Look at the poor man, you've confused him!" Banshee Elf Archer, now wearing so much makeup that her skin was now the color of the living, admonished Undead Master with a playful tap against the side of the necromancer's helmet.

"This is information we need to know before we attack the nest," Undead Master defended himself, "If another party of Adventurers went in before us and were defeated, then we have to assume that the defenses are formidable."

"Oh, Orcbolg," Banshee Elf Archer sighed, "Six months on, and your social skills still leave a lot to be desired"

"Is that so?" Undead Master tilted his head, uncomprehendingly.

"Just… just let Skeleton Lizardman do the talking, okay?"

"Sir Village Elder, perhaps we should start with something simple," Skeleton Lizardman, now wearing an elaborate silken veil that seamlessly blended in with his tribal robes, leaned forward and addressed the old man, "Perhaps you tell us when these attacks first started, and we can move on from there as it becomes appropriate."

The Village Elder, now having a proper reference point to begin, slowly began to recite a tale of tragedy and despair that inevitably resulted when Goblins became involved. Tales of murdered loved ones, kidnapped maidens and stolen property were not new, for many a village threatened by Goblin had also experienced such tales. However, they helped the old man get centered, and distracted him from the fact the Adventurers that had come to help were not what he had expected.

Zombie Priestess could not blame the old man for being nervous. Although she and the other members of the Goblin Slayers had since donned 'disguises', the unfortunate manner of their arrival in the town and the Village Elder's forewarned knowledge meant the disguises were moot.

He knew what they were, and it didn't matter how much makeup Zombie Priestess now wore to conceal that fact.

"This is some good makeup, though," Priestess murmured to herself as she discretely look at her own reflection in a nearby mirror, "I don't look like a Zombie at all."

Other than the fact her irises had changed from their old azure to the color of blood, the copious application of cosmetics had turned her decayed green skin back to its' normal shade and restored her appearance to what she looked like before death.

Had Zombie Priestess not already been acutely aware she lacked a pulse, she would never have thought the girl in the mirror had been a Zombie. In fact, the disguises worn by the rest of her compatriots were just as good. Skeleton Lizardman and Hollow Dwarf wore additional clothing pieces that concealed their Undead natures, while Banshee Elf Archer and Zombie Priestess were pretty much indistinguishable from the living.

To think that Undead Master had been the one to do apply these disguises! It would seem that the necromancer was a man of many talents, and makeup artist happened to be one of them. Where in the world did he pick up such a unique and situational skill?

"I see, so the Goblins are still holed up in the old Elven Fort, and number at least two score," Skeleton Lizardman raised a hand to his concealed chin thoughtfully, his words snapping Zombie Priestess back to attention from her musings, "This is much more serious than we had first anticipated, then. And you also say there was some confirmation that they party that went in before failed to clear out the next?"

"Unfortunately," Village Elder nodded sadly, "The body of the leader of the party was discovered washed up on the north bank of the river this morning, shortly before your own arrival in fact. It gave unfortunate River Fisherman quite the scare."

That caused the four veteran members of the Goblin Slayers to perk up and take notice.

"Washed up on the north bank you say?" Undead Master said, suddenly very interested in what had just been said, "What state was the corpse in? Was it badly decayed? Relatively intact? Was the mouth and vocal cords unharmed? Eyes and ears? What about the brain?"

Zombie Priestess and Village Elder's jaws dropped open simultaneously.

"Well, this is going to be taken the wrong way. Again." Hollow Dwarf said.

"Oh, Orcbolg, you idiot," Banshee Elf Archer hung her head in exasperation, at the second explosion of uncomfortable questions that had come from their esteemed leader, "There are more tactful ways to go about this, you know."

"Wh-why would you want to know about the state of that poor woman's body?" Village Elder recoiled in disgust. Indeed, the unexpected interest and very specific line of questioning could easily be construed to have a more nefarious purpose.

"If the body is in good condition, I can talk to her to find out more information about the Goblins," Undead Master replied firmly, completely unfazed by Village Elder's reaction, "The necromantic arts allow me to speak with the dead, and depending on the condition of the body I can either use her corpse as a conduit, or will need to use a ritual to commune with her spirit directly."

"Oh." Village Elder said, now looking rather embarrassed about his moral outrage moments ago.

"The latter option is much more difficult to set up given the time constraints," Undead Master continued, "It would be preferable to me if I made her a temporary Zombie to converse with her rather than the other option."

"What, like the rest of your party?" Village Elder asked.

"No. Unlike my party members who are true Undead beings, this Zombie would only last for around a day," Undead Master clarified, "The God of Death is not so easily thwarted, and death must come to all things. That is the first lesson of necromancy. It will decay as per normal and return to the Earth as all things should… once I am finished with her body, that is."

Village Elder and Zombie Priestess looked distinctly ill at that.

"Wow. That was bad even for you, Beard Cutter." Hollow Dwarf rumbled.

"Milord Undead Master, I understand what you mean, but that is not the way I would have put it." Skeleton Lizardman winced.

"Phrasing, Orcbolg! Phrasing!" Banshee Elf Archer rapped the necromancer's helmet again. "It is always Undead or Goblins with you! This is why I told you to get a hobby so you will have other things to talk about!"

"Is that so?"

"That IS so, you idiot!"

Undead Master and the Goblin Slayers in…

"It is wrong to be thankful that my heart isn't beating anymore?"

Starring…

Goblin Slayer as Undead Master

Priestess as Zombie Priestess

High Elf Archer as Banshee Elf Archer

Dwarf Shaman as Hollow Dwarf

Lizardman Priest as Skeleton Lizardman

…And…

Big Sister as Undead Big Sister

A not for profit fanfiction by Sasahara17 based on the dark fantasy adventure series Goblin Slayer by Kumo Kagyu, and inspired by the hit idol group Franchouchou of Saga Prefecture, who were produced and re-animated by Kotaro Tatsumi, Cygames and Studio Mappa.

Please support the official releases!

A scant hour later, the party had relocated to an abandoned barn on the edge of the village, one they planned to use as the base of their operations for this Adventure. Although Village Elder had offered to let them rent it for free, if only to keep them away from the main village thoroughfare, Undead Master had instead insisted he pay for the use of the building.

"We will attack at dusk, when the Goblins are changing guard shifts," Undead Master said as he began to paint strange symbols on the ground using pig's blood in an empty space the party had clear out in the middle of the barn, "When the Goblins are at their most vulnerable, we will move in and destroy them. Until then, we will prepare."

Zombie Priestess could not agree more. If there was one thing her first ill-fated adventure had taught her, it was that preparation before an Adventure was the key to success, or at very least warding off critical failure. In retrospect, Zombie Priestess couldn't help but think if her original party had taken just one more precaution, one moment to research and think things through, her life would have turned out very differently.

The party was carefully using the time they now had to make themselves as ready to assault.

Skeleton Lizardman was using a flintstone to sharpen the edge of the scimitar they had acquired from the Bandits. Hollow Dwarf was apparently banging out dints in a second set of armor, one he apparently wore over his current body to reinforce it. Banshee Elf Archer was making yet more arrows, and was carefully appraising the Dark Elf crossbow. Zombie Priestess herself had finished her prayers to the Earth Mother this morning, refreshing her miracles for the day, and was now inspecting a set of chainmail Undead Master had purchased for her beforehand.

And as for Undead Master himself? He was preparing to revive the corpse that bundled up in cloth that now lay in the middle of the barn. Although she knew why the corpse was there, and she had yet to actually lay eyes on the poor woman's body because they had not yet removed it from under the swaddled cloth, Zombie Priestess nevertheless was distinctly uncomfortable at being in the room with a dead body for rather obvious and understandable reasons.

Well, being in the room with five dead bodies, except one of them wasn't moving.

Yet.

Zombie Priestess' life after her death was weird.

"Attack at dusk again, huh?" Skeleton Lizardman said, "Milord Undead Master, knows his craft well."

"Yeah, yeah. Standard procedure," Banshee Elf Archer waved a hand dismissively from where she sat on a bale of hay that had been moved to the side of the room, "But remember 'The List', okay? I can already tell you are planning on using fire to burn down the whole fortress."

"The List?" Zombie Priestess asked from her own seat across the room.

"Lady Elf compiled a list of things she does not want Milord Undead Master to do during our Adventures," Skeleton Lizardman explained, "It began as a simple three things he was not allowed to use to clear out Goblins, and expanded from there."

"No fire, no water, no poison," Hollow Dwarf recalled with no small amount of amusement, "Then no explosions, no cave ins, no lava, no quicksand, no carnivorous plants…"

"The List has gotten rather long, hasn't it?" Skeleton Lizardman agreed.

"The List is inconvenient," Undead Master replied stoically, although Zombie Priestess could almost hear a hint of irritation in his tone, "And you are correct, Banshee Elf Archer. I was planning on burning down the Elven Fortress."

"Ha! I knew it!" Banshee Elf Archer puffed her nonexistent chest out, clearly pleased at having managed to read her fellow Adventurer like an open book.

"It is the safest, most effective method at clear out the Goblins," Undead Master pointed out defensively, "Elven fortresses are made out of wood, and the interior of such fortresses were designed to be dry even under after heavy rain. Given the fortress is in such a state of disrepair after being abandoned for so long, the wood must be dry as tinder. A combination of fire and gasoline should be able to clear out the Goblins without needing us to attack a fortified location."

Goblin Slayer's logic was sound. The Elven Fortress was, as the name suggested, a Fortress after all.

It was by its' very nature a very defensible location that put any attacker at a disadvantage. It was common knowledge in siege warfare that any attacker hoping to take down a fortress by conventional means needed to outnumber the defenders at least three to one. Five Adventurers trying to lay siege to a fortress manned by scores of Goblins was not a recipe for success.

However, if an unconventional approach could be used, one exploiting a flaw in the very materials that made up the fortress itself, would have solved the problem handsomely.

There was one issue with that, though.

"No Fire!" Banshee Elf Archer crossed her forearms before her in a gesture that fully conveyed her displeasure with the idea, "Did you forget how easily Skeleton Lizardman burns? Be barely managed to get away with it the last time, and now we have Zombie Priestess with us! I'm not losing party members to out of control fires, Orcbolg!"

"You are vulnerable to fire? I didn't think bones burned that well." Zombie Priestess asked Skeleton Lizardman out of concern, who simply gave her a comforting nod.

"No. Bones that are well cared for do not burn well," Skeleton Lizardman assured the younger adventurer, "It was my robes that burned, and that was where the problem was. In fact, my bones being fire resistant was what saved me from meeting my second death."

"I see." Zombie Priestess said. There was more to living as an Undead than just moving around, it seemed. How interesting!

"Still, I do not think that distinction matters very much to Banshee Elf Archer." Skeleton Lizardman turned back to where the argument between Undead Elf and her necromancer continued.

"If we launch arrows from a distance, we do not have to worry about the fires spreading to us. If necessary, we can move out of the way to avoid the flames," Undead Master insisted, "The alternative would be to assault the fortress directly. As we came here without my army, that would be a difficult proposition even if we seized the initiative."

"I would rather we have that 'difficult proposition' instead of having another incident like the Great Maple Forest," Banshee Elf Archer placed her hands on her hips, "Do you remember how angry the Maple Leaf Tribe were after we torched the whole place by accident?"

"I remember slaying the Goblins there." Undead Master replied.

"They formed a lynch mob, Orcbolg! A lynch mob!" Banshee Elf Archer stamped her foot angrily, "There were pitchforks and torches because we ruined the biggest tourist attraction they had! I have never been so afraid for my life, and this is even counting the situation where I died!"

"Ha! I remember you shrieking in terror at the top of your lungs as they chased us out of town," Hollow Dwarf bellowed with mirth, "If there were any doubt you were a Banshee before that, it would have fled after that musical performance."

"Shut it, tin can." Banshee Elf Archer grimaced, her pale face the color of crimson.

"We cleared the Goblins for them without any casualties," Undead Master stated. "However, it ended, the Goblin Slaying was successful."

"Skeleton Lizardman was running around on fire! He had to put himself out by diving into the Misty Lake!" Banshee Elf Archer reminded them.

"Not my finest moment, I will admit," Skeleton Lizardman said, "But as I said…"

"Bones that are not dry, do not burn well," Undead Master retorted.

"That is not the ever lov-" Banshee Elf Archer made a strangled sound that was somewhere between a cry, howl and a shriek in frustration, then folded her arms and glared at Undead Master with her two ruby eyes, "NO FIRE. THAT IS FINAL."

"…fine." Undead Master finally relented as he pushed himself off the floor. "The ritual circle is done. Bring the body."

Zombie Priestess found the grip on her staff tightening as she watched her compatriots relocate the swaddled corpse to the center of Undead Master's ritual circle. Her grip tightened further when Undead Master removed the body from the wrappings, allowing Zombie Priestess to see the full extent of the Goblin's maliciousness made manifest.

"How horrid." Zombie Priestess whimpered, feeling the urge to throw up at the sight that was before her. The body that lay in the middle of the room was so mutilated it looked less like a corpse and more of a slab of meat at the butcher. What had the Goblins done to this poor woman?

Zombie Priestess thought back to what happened to Fighter, and decided she did not want to know. But regardless of her own wishes on the matter, it appeared her party members had their own ideas.

"How are the final checks, Beard Cutter?" Hollow Dwarf enquired.

"Yes. I already felt her body was suitable for our needs, but it never hurts to check," Undead Master said dispassionately as he kneeled over the corpse and took it in with a clinical eye, "Vocal cords seem fine. Although the right eye is missing, the left is in good condition. Inner ears are adequate despite the damage to the exterior. Despite the damage to the epidermal layer, it seems her muscles and major organs are also good. The damage is far worse than we expected. It seems that the Goblins were especially vicious with her. Even so…"

He stood up and gave a satisfied nod.

"…this actually works to our advantage. We can bring her back."

"Good. It will be nice having a sixth member to our party, even if only for a while," Hollow Dwarf may not have a face, but there was a sharpness in his voice that gave Zombie Priestess a distinct impression he was grinning, "Still with damage like this, I would imagine that this lass would want some payback on those Goblins for sporting with her like this."

"Indeed. The wounds speak of an especially violent death." Undead Master said. "I can also sense lingering attachments of anger, resentment and humiliation. The Goblins singled her out."

"The Goblins took her life, and the life of her friends. Having her come back to take their lives is oddly poetic," Skeleton Lizardman concurred, "Perhaps if she is feeling a vengeful, this young lady might be willing to come back as more than just a Zombie?"

"You're talking about a Revenant," Banshee Elf Archer deduced with a large frown., "Not a bad idea… but if she turns out to be a Goblin obsessed maniac like Undead Master, I will be holding you responsible for putting the idea in Undead Master's head, Skeleton Lizardman!"

"Would that be such a bad thing?" Skeleton Lizardman answered with mirth.

"Agreed. It will be more expensive to do so, but I will try to bring her back as a Revenant instead of a Zombie," Undead Master nodded, withdrawing nine thumb sized jewels, which Zombie Priestess realized were actually soul gems, from one of his pouches, "If that is the plan, then I shall begin."

And then the ritual began.

Zombie Priestess had only heard stories of the arts of necromancy before.

The ultimate dark art that evil wizards all aspired to achieve, that trampled upon the sanctity of life by defiling the corpses of the dead. The Mother Superior had often told her about how this art was the anthesis of everything the Earth Mother stood for, and that the act of using the body of a deceased for their own purposes was the worst act of selfishness possible.

Yet, here she was. Not only was she a Zombie herself, but she was in the presence of a necromancer about to transform the already desecrated body of a poor young adventurer into one of the worst kinds of undead there was… a Revenant.

"Fill. Fill. Fill. Fill. Fill. Let each offering be emptied, the souls within as fuel to give life to this empty shell," Undead Master chanted evenly from outside the now glowing ritual circle he had drawn, "Let these offerings of flesh mend this body so that it may act out a will of vengeance. Let the blood of crows and an offering of wine be the lifeblood that will allow you to be retribution given form…"

Zombie Priestess watched in amazement as the soul stones arranged around the ritual circle flared brightly emptying their streams of essence into the body in the center of the room. Copious amounts of raw cow meat purchased from the villages market dissolved, muscles and sinew flowing like water towards the corpse. The bodies of five recently slaughtered crows, three casks of cheap wine, and one gourd of Dwarven fire whiskey, burst open, the liquids within doing the same.

Before Zombie Priestess very eyes, the mutilated body of the adventurer slowly knitted itself back together before her very eyes. Wounds closed and sealed, broken bones repaired itself and a once shattered body slowly returned to something that was unmistakably as a human female, albeit one that had skin as pale as snow despite the wine that now flowed through her veins.

"Huh, so Orcbolg can create Revenants after all," Banshee Elf Archer gave a low whistle in awe, "And my Elven brethren told me Revenants were only naturally occurring undead, not ones that a necromancer can forcefully create."

"The necromantic arts are formidable indeed," Hollow Dwarf rumbled, "Why did we have to use the wine though? That's a waste of good drink."

"Not enough crow blood, remember? Wine has always been a traditional substitute in rituals, so it's only natural we substitute it in." Banshee Elf Archer said.

"I know that! I was just complaining about it, pointy ears." Hollow Dwarf clarified, "And did we have to really have to use my Fire Wine? It is hard to come by out here on the frontier."

"the village only sold cheap wine. We need some quality stuff to appease the Gods too, you know!"

"It's like a miracle," Zombie Priestess said in amazement as she watched the broken body become whole again, "The Mother Superior told me true resurrection isn't possible, and yet…"

"It isn't," Skeleton Lizardman corrected the younger Adventurer, "Although Milord Undead Master may restore this woman's body and bring back her mind, she, like us, will not truly be alive."

"Aye. She would in fact be worse than us," Hollow Dwarf concurred sadly, "As a Revenant, this lass would only remain on this Earth so long as her lust for vengeance remains in her heart. Her every move will be focused on retribution against the ones who wronged her."

As it was explained to Zombie Priestess, the impermanence of the Revenant was what made the ritual that Undead Master now used to be much less expensive than the one that had revived her. The willingness of the soul to return to the mortal realm reduced the expense, but the use of the attachment to their violent deaths had a rather notable trade off. While the Revenant could theoretically last forever so long as her vengeance was incomplete, the second her lust for vengeance left her, her body would return to the grave.

"What existence she will have will be spent hunting the ones who wronged her. Every breath, every moment, will be thinking of Revenge and nothing else. The moment she stops, she will return to the embrace of death," Skeleton Lizardman said, "This a sad fate, but one that cannot be avoided."

"How horrible! It's like Undead Master is bringing her back just so we can have her kill Goblins for us," Zombie Priestess bit her lip sadly, "It's like we are using her to do our bidding, then discarding her when we don't need her anymore."

"Why do you think the necromantic arts are so despised?" Hollow Dwarf pointed out.

"This is true. But consider this, young Priestess," Skeleton Lizardman said, "If she does accept our call to be a Revenant, then her anger at her death must be so great that she is willing to return to extract her vengeance. What we are offering is not slavery, but a mutually beneficial agreement."

"It doesn't make it right though." Zombie Priestess whispered.

"Your body shall become a tool for justice against wrongdoers. Hate shall be with your sword, and Anger shall be your shield," Undead Master chanted, coming to the closing movements of the ritual, "Let the flame of Revenge light your heart once more. If you will submit to the will of Vengeance and this reason, then answer this call!"

The ritual circle flared an eerily purple color a final time, and the body's eyes snapped open as the Adventurer once known as Noble Knight took a deep breath. Milky white eyes, still the color of death, stared at the ceiling as her mouth opened and an unnatural, hate filled cry as power and life flooded her being. Zombie Priestess covered her ears with her hands and shut her eyes, thoroughly disturbed by the scene.

Noble Knight had returned from the grave, not as the heroic errant she once was, but as Lady Revenant… a being that only existed to extract her vengeance upon Goblins for ending her life.

"It is done," Undead Master nodded, "I have revived the Adventurer as a Revenant."

"Well done, Beard Cutter. Looks like you pulled it off after all." Hollow Dwarf praised.

"Although I studied the art under my Master, this is the first time I have had the opportunity to create a Revenant," Undead Master admitted albeit it with a hint of self-satisfaction, "It is good to know that the theory works in practice. This is good. Revenants are much more useful than the standard Zombies we have been using until now."

"Huh, that means you didn't think it would have worked?" Banshee Elf Archer arched an eyebrow, "What would you have done if it had failed?"

"Then, I would have revived her as a normal Zombie instead. It would not have taken long to do so with the ritual circle already set up," Undead Master noted offhandedly, "Now, shall we speak to-"

"Ohhhhhhhhhh… I feel… sick…"

A drunken moan came from the middle of the room, cutting off the conversation. Lady Revenant, having now returned to the world of the living, had rolled over to her side. The formerly dead corpse was making retching sounds while her quivering shoulders and bare chest heaved with exertion in a very particular way many adults understood.

"My head is pounding like an Ogre did a tap dance on it. What the hell did I drink last-Urk!" Lady Revenant promptly threw up on the ground, nothing but excess wine from the ritual spilling itself on the ground, "Oh, Supreme God have mercy, this is the-Urp!-worst!"

So trapped in the agony of her existence, Lady Revenant was completely oblivious to the fact five shocked Adventurers were watching her act so unseemly. Nor did she care, for at that moment her concern was on other matters, such as…

"I swore I would never-Urp!-touch alcohol again," Lady Revenant gurgled as she bushed herself to all fours, "I swore! So why am I-BLARG!?"

The Adventures, save the young an inexperienced Zombie Priestess, could only find their eyes widening as understanding on what was happening to the newly created Revenant came over them.

"Bead Cutter." Hollow Dwarf said. "This is not supposed to happen, is it?"

"No, it is not," Undead Master affirmed just as Lady Revenant continued to suffer her new existance, "This should not have happened. Could I have not used enough Soul stones? Maybe I had miscalculated the amount of wine needed in the ritual to substitute for crows blood, or… Oh."

"Oh?" Zombie Priestess, Hollow Dwarf and Skeleton Lizardman repeated incredulously.

"Oh? What is 'Oh' supposed to mean?" Banshee Elf Archer demanded, harms planted firmly on her hips as she glared at Undead Master, not dissimilarly to the way a teacher would regard a particularly truant student who had been caught doing something they were not supposed to.

"I just remembered. Master warned me not use Wine or Coffee in this particular ritual," Undead Master confessed, his normally stoic voice actually sounding embarrassed at the admission, "The strong emotions associated with the attachment needed to create the revenant, namely anger and hatred, reacts in very particular ways with alcohol and caffeine. I was advised to have used Geen Tea or Milk instead as substitutes instead."

"Particular ways. What sort of ways?" Banshee Elf Archer said.

"Heightened emotional states, occasional intoxicated behavior consistent with drunkenness, loss of concentration," Undead Master informed the angry Elf before him, "there are a variety of side effects I was advised to be aware of. In my defense, this is my first Revenant."

For a full fifteen seconds, the only sounds in the barn was the retching on Lady Revenant.

"We should hope that she is not an Angry Drunk?" Undead Master said.

"Well, I'll be. A drunk Revenant. Scholars from the magical academy would find this most interesting if they ever found out about this!" Hollow Dwarf stroked his non-existent beard.

"Orcbolg!" Banshee Elf Archer cracked her knuckles as she advanced on the necromancer.

"Copious application of water can temporarily alleviate the effects of intoxication by diluting the alcohol in her body," Undead Master rattled off quickly, shuffling back as the Banshee advanced on him, "While we will need to continue supplying her with water to counteract the effects, as her body will continue to revert to an intoxicated state, but we can make her sober. Temporarily."

As if to remind everyone that the situation had gone from creepy to absurd, Lady Revenant threw up yet again.

"Uh, I'd better go give her a bucket so she doesn't keep making a mess of the floor," Zombie Priestess rushed over to pick up one of the wooden buckets that had been idle in the corner of the barn and brought it over to kneeled over Lady Revenant, "Here you go! Throw up into this!"

"T-Thank-Urp-You."

Lady Revenant offhandedly accepted the bucket and was about heave yet again when she paused. Slowly, almost mechanically, Lady Revenant turned her head to the side to look at Zombie Priestess.

"Er, hello?" Zombie Priestess greeted with a bashful smile.

"Who're You? Where is this?" Lady Revenant slurred, before the newly animated Undead seemed to notice the other four Adventurers in her peripheral vision. Two armored men of different heights, one pale skinned High Elf, and a towering veiled giant of a lizardman, all stared at Lady Revenant with varying looks of pity. "Wha-Who are you people?"

And then the coldness on her skin informed Lady Revenant of another pertinent fact. Her milky white eyes darted down to her body, and suddenly the hangover was the farthest thing from Lady Revenant's mind. She didn't even care her skin was a paler shade than usual, for the fact of the matter was that Lady Revenant had one huge problem.

"W-W-WHY AM I NAKED!?"

Coupled with the fact she had already seen three males in the empty barn with her…

"KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA~!"

And just like that, Lady Revenant went from 'hangover' to 'stone cold sober' in no time flat.

"Huh, looks like water isn't the only thing that can sober the lass up." Hollow Dwarf quipped to Skeleton Archer as the pair watched a panicking Zombie Priestess run all over the barn gathering together what rags she could fine to cover up the distraught Lady Revenant, while Banshee Elf Archer had seizes Undead Master by the sides of his helmet and was shaking him wildly while screeching loudly at the top of her lungs. "Never a boring moment with this party."

"So… I died," Lady Revenant, now dressed in rags that Zombie Priestess had found for her, sat on a small stool the party had pulled up for her, a large bottle of fresh water that she periodically drank from to keep herself sober cradled in her hands, "I… I remember now. My friends and I went in to Slay the Goblins and were instead ambushed ourselves."

Although it did take them some time, the party did eventually manage to calm down.

Water had been quickly procured for Lady Revenant to dilute the alcohol that now flowed through her body as blood, keeping her mind sober and saving away the intoxication that came from her magical blood. Much to the surprise of the spellcasters in the group, and totally against the laws of understood science, the water in her body evaporated quickly while the magically imbued alcohol in the Revenant's body stayed… almost like it belonged there.

It appeared that Undead Master that stumbled upon a magical curiosity entirely by accident.

Unfortunately, while many magical scholars would no doubt have been intrigued by this strange anomaly, Undead Master's only concern was that fact the alcohol in Lady Revenant's system could hinder her ability to hunt Goblins. Drunk Adventurers in the field were prone to mistakes that sober Adventurers would not, and mistakes in made in the presence of Goblins were not ones that were easily made up for. What a problem, indeed.

"Village Elder told us it has been some days since your party departed for the fortress, and it was only this morning that your body was found floating down the river," Skeleton Lizardman explained, "It am sorry, but I do not think the chances of finding any survivors among your friends are good."

"No, no. My friends are dead. I saw it all happen with my own eyes. Those m-monsters used my friends as playthings, toys for their own amusement," Lady Revenant's fingers curled around the bottle painfully, "Even though I begged them to take it all out on me instead…"

The members of the party, sans Undead Master, shared concerned and dismayed looks with each other as they heard those words. They had already known that the demise of the Adventurers that had assaulted the Goblins before them had been high, but Lady Revenant's words had confirmed it. Worse still, it appeared that all those poor Adventurers had not gone easily into death's embrace.

"It is unfortunate what happened," Undead Master said, "but that is a risk whenever Goblins are involved. Taking them lightly is a mistake that will always cost lives."

"Under Master, Sir!" Zombie Priestess said, aghast at the necromancer's lack of tact. "She is mourning the death of her friends!"

"But I speak the truth, and wish to impress upon Lady Revenant of the reason we need her help," Undead Master insisted firmly, "Of the Adventurers here, she is the only one who has seen the inside of the Goblin Fortress. Any information she can provide will be invaluable to our cause."

"Yes, I understand. You brought me back as a Revenant to help you kill the Goblins," Lady Revenant nodded, not offended by Undead Master's brusqueness at all, "You want to know as much as you can when you hunt the Goblins yourselves, so as to avoid making the same mistakes I did."

"That is the general idea." Undead Master confirmed.

"You know, I should be upset that you would use my corpse like this," Lady Revenant gave a short laugh that hinted of distress and anguish, "As a worshipper of the Supreme God and the daughter of a family of Knights spanning generations I should absolutely hate the idea my body would be defiled after my death like this."

"Is that so?" Undead Master tilted his head.

"But you know what?" Lady Revenant took another gulp from the bottle of water, before setting it down at her side. She took a moment to get herself centered, before looking up to face the party. Vengeance burned in her milky white eyes, and her lips set into a grim line that spoke of frim determination. "I don't give a damn anymore. Those Goblins need to die."

The glowing red eye burned once more from within Undead Master's helm. It seemed he approved.

"While I was… a prisoner … I noticed the wood in that made up the interior of the fortress seemed very dry. Dry like tinder," Lady Revenant put forward before any of the party members could start questioning her, "I was too weak to try at the time, Do you think it would be possible to bur-"

"NO FIRE!" Banshee Elf Archer jumped up from her own seat, arms crossed in front of her chest in a gesture that pretty much meant 'No'.

"What the…?" Lady Revenant jerked back in surprise.

"NO FIRE, means NO. FIRE. It is literally the first thing at top of The List," Banshee Elf Archer repeated firmly, "For God's sake, woman! I spend enough time trying to talk Orcbolg here from setting fire to everything, and you go suggesting it to him just after I managed to talk him out of it!"

"Oh bother, here we go." Hollow Dwarf sighed resignedly, earning an amused grunt from Skeleton Lizardman beside him. The pair quickly took a few steps back to put themselves out of the way of the impending argument. Zombie Priestess, having watched the exchange, suddenly realized that something very bad was about to happen.

"It appears that my earlier suggestion about setting the Elven Fortress on fire had merit, especially since Lady Revenant has confirmed the interior of the Fortress is flammable" Undead Master said, "Perhaps we should reconsider…"

"NO." Banshee Elf Archer stated steadfastly.

"Wait, so you people thought of burning the Elven Fortress down before?" Lady Revenant rose from where she was sitting, her eyes widening in realization that an easily solution to the Goblin problem, and getting her Revenge, was so readily available, "Well, do it then! Burn the monsters!"

"Are you out of your mind?" Banshee Elf Archer whirled to face lady Revenant "Your blood is literally alcohol now, totally flammable! And you want to use fire against the Goblins?"

"Those monsters tired by friend to a post and burned her to death! I remember her screams as she was turned into an inferno," Lady Revenant declared angrily as she bared her fangs at the Elf, "If it means sending those Goblins to hell, I will be happy to burn with them!"

Although Zombie Priestess had been unsure before due to the absurdity of Lady Revenant's drunken state, it was now, seeing the venom and viciousness that the reanimated Adventurer now wore proudly, that Zombie Priestess was sure that Undead Master had managed to create a Revenant.

"Not if it means setting fire to the rest of us," Banshee Elf Archer jabbed a finger into Lady Revenant's bosom, "And you won't just catch on fire, you know. Your whole body is filled with alcohol. What if you explode and catch us all in the blast?"

"Acceptable losses. Collateral damage," Lady Revenant snarled as she grabbed the Elf's hand and twisted it away from her body, "Those monsters need to pay for what they did to me, and I will make sure they do. If you get in my way, I will treat you the same way."

"Acceptable losses? Is that what you think? What if there are hostages still alive in there?" Banshee Elf Archer snapped as she wrenched her hand out of the Revenant's grasp.

"Most of the women I was trapped with are already dead or dying by the time I died myself," Lady Revenant retorted angrily, not noticing that Zombie Priestess had taken keen interest upon hearing that tidbit of information, "Besides even if there were anyone still alive up there, better to die with dignity then to live and suffer at the hands of the Goblins!"

"What the hell? I thought you were a Knight! We brought you back to get your justice for your death, and this is the thanks we get?"

"HE brought me back, not YOU!" Lady Revenant jabbed a thumb in Undead Master's direction to emphasize her point, "I was brought back as a Revenant. What did you expect? Forget justice, I just want the Goblins to die! Get behind me in Slaying the Goblins, or stay out of my way, Elf!"

"Not if saying behind you means getting caught in the explosion who your plan blows up in your face when you start playing with FIRE." Banshee Elf Archer shrieked, her ethereal voice that betrayed her Undead nature now starting to echo painfully to all those listening.

"If I may…" Undead Master raised a hand.

"STAY OUT OF THIS!" Lady Revenant and Banshee Elf Archer barked, milky white eyes and glowing ruby red orbs glaring angrily at the man who dared intercede in their argument.

The glowing red eye within Undead Master's darkened helmet… went out in an instant.

"Okay. Don't mind me." Undead Master dropped his hand back down and let the two ladies get back to what they were doing. Even Undead Master had his limits, it seemed. He killed Goblins. Getting in between to arguing ladies was well beyond his expertise.

"We need to burn them! I must have my Revenge! Goblins must burn!" Lady Revenant bellowed.

"No! Fire is Bad! That's why it is on The List!" Banshee Elf Archer held fast.

The two Undead femme fatales smacked their foreheads against each other in a show of dominance, their teeth grinding inside their respective mouths out of sheer frustration. It seemed that they were moments away from just throwing caution to the wind and fighting each other then and there, when an unexpected savior stepped in.

"M-Maybe it would be better if you killed them all in person?"

Lady Revenant and Banshee Elf Archer's heads snapped towards Zombie Priestess, who gave a small 'eep' at suddenly having their undivided attentions. Still, despite her nervousness, the young undead Priestess gathered what courage she had, made a silent prayer to the Earth Mother, and dove in.

"If… if we set fire to the Elven Fortress, some of them might e-escape in the chaos," Zombie Priestess reasoned, hoping her logic made sense to the Revenant, "And even if they didn't, wouldn't it be better to k-k-kill the Goblins in close combat so that you can confirm their deaths yourself?"

"I don't know. Fire would still be more effective," Lady Revenant pulled away from Banshee Elf Archer and rested her hand against her chin thoughtfully. Although she didn't seem wholly convinced yet, her actions made it clear that, at very least, she was considering Zombie Priestess' words, "All I want is for the Goblins to end up dead. I don't particularly care how they die."

Zombie Priestess had to convince her. She had to stop them from burning the whole fortress indiscriminately. No matter what Zombie Priestess had to say she had to convince Lady Revenant. Oh, Earth Mother, she wouldn't believe she was about to say what she was about to say…

"B-But what about making them… suffer," Zombie Priestess proposed, doing her best to keep the waver out of voice, "I-I saw what they did to your body. It looks like they p-pput you through a lot. I-I'm willing to bet they put your friends through a lot too."

"They did," Lady Revenant said evenly, fury burning in her eyes, "They tied Rhea Ranger to a post and used her as target practice, and did things to Human Monk you cannot even imagine. And I already told you what happened to Elf Wizard."

"T-Then you know it isn't going to be fair to your other friends if the Goblins just burned, right?" Zombie Priestess noted scrambling to form a convincing argument, "You have to… you have make the Goblins pay. Each and every one of them. Hunt them down one at a time and let them know it was you who are the one who sent them to their deaths."

"Yes… yes, I see your point." Lady Revenant nodded slowly, having come around to Zombie Priestess' point of view.

"You did it. You brought her around," Banshee Elf Archer whirled around to Zombie Priestess, a huge smile across her features, "I don't know how, but you did it! Good job, Priestess!"

"Eh, heh!" Zombie Priestess rubbed the back of her head abashedly with her free hand. Truthfully, she was just winging it the whole time, so what she had done was entirely an acci-

"I must kill all the Goblins."

Uh, oh.

"They must see that it was me. I will run my sword through each and every one of their black little hearts and look into their eyes as the life fades from their bodies. They will know that was I, the woman they humiliated and defiled, was the one to slay them."

All the other Adventurers, save of course Undead Master, took a step back out of fright. Undead Master, in contrast, leaned forward in interest. Extreme interest.

"Er, Zombie Priestess? Was this part of your plan?" Banshee Elf Archer asked.

"No, no it wasn't?" Zombie Priestess bit her lip worriedly. What was happening

"But why stop with these Goblins?" A sinister smile spread across Lady Revenant's face. Zombie Priestess' words, and the fact she hadn't had a drink for about ten minutes and was probably a bit intoxicated again, allowed her to reach an epiphany "These Goblins are just one of many bands, going around spreading their terror across the land. My story is just one of many… and so y Revenge will not be complete until all the Goblins are dead."

"Yes. The Goblins must die." Undead Master said, the glow in his eye returning stronger than ever.

"I must slay the Goblins. I must slay ALL the Goblins, with my own blade. Only then will my Vengeance be sated." Lady Revenant's smile now was so wide, teeth were showing.

It was not a good look.

"We will slay the Goblins." Undead Master said.

"Yes, we will slay ALL the Goblins." Lady Revenant concurred.

The glow in Undead Master's eye intensified, and somehow reflected off the milky white surface of Lady Revenant's eyes making it appear her eyes were glowing too.

A new Goblin Slayer was born.

"Oh my word, there are two of them." Skeleton Lizardman said, his jaw hanging open.

"Aye, that be true." Hollow Dwarf concurred.

"Zombie Priestess, what have you done? You have created a monster." Banshee Elf Archer whispered in horror, unable to tear her eyes from the sight at the two Goblin Slayers before her.

Zombie Priestess could only turn her eyes skyward, and wonder how her bumbled attempts at convincing Lady Revenant NOT to slay the Goblins with fire could have could have led to this conclusion.

"Wait, so you guys are all Undead?" Lady Revenant gasped in surprise as the party, now increased to a half dozen in size, proceeded through the countryside towards their destination.

They proceeded at a leisurely but measured pace, aiming to arrive at the Elven Fort just as the sky turned to twilight. Until then, the six Adventurers, their preparations completed, busied themselves with small talk as they attempted to grow more accustomed to their newest member's company.

And it seemed the latest topic of discussion happened to be the fact Lady Revenant hadn't realized the majority of the Goblin Slayers did not have a pulse.

"You didn't know? It's been hours now, and you didn't notice it at all?" Banshee Elf Archer said with no small amount of surprise.

"No, I really didn't. I mean you skin is very pale, and your hair is snow white, but other than that you look like just a very pale Elf." Lady Revenant maintained.

"It has probably got to do with the fact we haven't gotten out of disguises." Zombie Priestess deduced, pointing to the fact the makeup that allowed her to pass as a living human was still in place, "Your makeup is on as well, Banshee Elf Archer. It seems like we forgot to take them off."

"Removal of our disguises was not a priority considering all the other essential preparation we needed to do," Skeleton Lizardman noted, now reaching up to pull the ceremonial veil off his head to reveal the skeleton that lay beneath, "We should regard this as a good thing. If Milady Revenant could not discern our true natures, it is another test passed that proves our disguises are effective."

"That's true." Hollow Dwarf raised a hand to the mask that concealed the gaps in his face plate, "Do you suppose we should take them off now?"

"I would rather we didn't," Zombie Priestess said thoughtfully, "In the event we discover survivors in the Goblin nest, we would be able to calm them down easier if we appeared to be living Adventurers instead of what we really are. This should make rescue much easier."

"There won't be any survivors. I thought I told you that most of the women I was trapped with were already dead or dying." Lady Revenant pointed out sharply.

"Most. Not all. And dying does not necessarily mean 'dead'," Zombie Priestess contested with an understanding smile, "While I only have 'Minor Heal' and 'Holy Light' as my two spells because I am only a beginner, I do think we owe it to anyone still alive in there to try and save them."

The whole party stared at Zombie Priestess in amazement at her reasoning.

"Wow, that was sharp of ye, lass." Hollow Dwarf noted, giving an impressed whistle.

"Only two spells?" Lady Revenant asked cautiously.

"Well, I've only been on one other quest before this so… er… were any of the other hostages still alive in your last memories, no matter how close to death they were?" Zombie Priestess asked quickly, hoping to distract from her accidental admission of her inexperience.

If only Zombie Priestess could have had more time and experience, then perhaps she could have had an additional miracle to make herself more useful… like Protection, perhaps?

"…there were two," Lady Revenant conceded after some thought, "As the Goblins were taking out their frustrations on our party, they didn't abuse the last few living captives they had. Last I remembered, they were being used purely as 'breeding stock' while my friends and I were the Goblin's 'playthings'."

"I see." Zombie Priestess noted.

"I wouldn't put much chance on their survival, though," Lady Revenant growled, "After my death, those girls would have been the only captives the Goblins had left. They would receive the full brunt of the Goblins viciousness. I don't think they would last long."

"That depends." Undead Master's unexpected intercession was unexpected, and caused the entire party to take notice, "From what you told us, your party felled a fair number of Goblins. The Goblins may be looking to replenish their numbers. If the two girls are still able to bear children, the Goblins would not be able to afford losing them to frivolous games."

"I-I see. So this means they may be alive then." Lady Revenant's eyes flitted to the side in shame at having written off those women so easily. She had once been a Knight, and had lost her life attempting to save those same women mere days ago.

"But you are correct in that they may also be dead. Few captives have the will to live this long. Had it not been for your information, I would have believed them to be dead as well and acted accordingly," Under Master expounded calmly, "The equipment we gave you. Can you use it?"

"I can. This blade isn't what I am used to, but I can use it." Lady Revenant raised the scimitar that had once belonged to an Bandit, and had since been gifted to her, for emphasis.

She also wore ill-fitting leather armor that was tight on all the wrong places and lose in the others, that had apparently once belonged to Undead Master in his early days. Although the spare equipment wasn't much, at very least it allowed her to get back into the field. There was one item she was not entirely sure of though.

"This helmet you gave me. I am not sure it is suitable for field work." Lady Revenant rapped the side of the oddly shaped headgear that had been provided to her, a look of consternation on her face.

"Even if you are a Revenant now, having head protection is a good precaution to take," Undead Master replied, "If anything, we should be thankful we had such an item on hand that was so uniquely suited for your specific needs."

"it looks pretty good on you, too!" Banshee Elf Archer sniggered, with Hollow Dwarf joining as well.

"I'm not so sure about this, Undead Master," Lady Revenant muttered, "Where did you even find it anyway? Who invented this?"

"I am told it was invented by dwarven miners who wished to have both head protection and a quick access to hydration. The main helmet protects against objects from above, and the bottles on either side of the helm provide quick access to the liquids contained within from the two straws positioned near your mouth," Undead Master informed the skeptical Revenant.

"Trust the dwarves to come up with something as ridiculous as this." Banshee Elf Archer laughed.

"Come now, Pointy Ears. I'll have you know many a Dwarven miner swears by that thing." Hollow Dwarf said defensively. "Honestly, quick access to ale in the middle of a mine has stopped many a Dwarven riot. You should give Dwarf engineering more credit!"

"I had purchased the item with the intent to see if the bottles could provide healing potion, but decided the arrangement was not cost effective after some experiments," Undead Master continued, heedless of his comrades bickering, "However, given your need for a constant supply of fresh water to keep your blood alcohol level in acceptable levels, I retrieved it from storage. It has worked to stave off your intoxication thus far, has it not?"

"I guess you have a point," Lady Revenant sighed, taking a sip of fresh water from the straws positioned just before her mouth, "But does it have to look so unseemly? This looks ridiculous."

"The Goblins will care not for our appearances when we do battle. Speaking of which, I see the fortress." Undead Master stopped walking and pointed to the distance.

The old Elven Fortress, a massive structure seemingly carved into an ancient, gargantuan tree, loomed at the crest of a large hill in the distance.

The structure, once a bastion of goodness that protected the oldest civilizations in the known world, had stood at the top of that hill for millennia. It was a piece of history, that had since been invaded by the accursed Goblins who now used it for their own nefarious ends. This was what the Goblin Slayers had to clear out, a task that would not be easy by any stretch of the imagination.

"Just to be clear, no fire. We all agreed on this, remember?" Banshee Elf Archer quickly reminded the party before any one of them would beat her to the punch.

"You are very insistent on that aren't you, Banshee Elf Archer?" Zombie Priestess giggled, finding the Elven woman's stubborn insistence on the fact to be very amusing.

"Give him an inch, and watch what happens," Banshee Elf Archer stated bluntly, "No fire."

"No fire." Undead Master agreed.

"So, Undead Master, how do we want to do this?" Hollow Dwarf asked thoughtfully, "Lady Revenant's firsthand account aside, a cursory glance of the Fortress from here tells me attacking it head on will be a foolhardy proposition."

"I do believe Master Dwarf is correct," Lizardman Shaman concurred, "The position of the Fortress gives the Goblins the high ground, and the high walls will prevent us from scaling it easily."

"Sneaking in would have been my suggestion, but that was what my party did before. As you can tell, all it did was put us in a position where my party was surrounded and overwhelmed," Lady Revenant sighed and hung her head sadly, "The reason why I suggested a fire attack was because a conventional assault does not seem feasible anymore, not when the Goblins are on guard."

Zombie Priestess listened to the three experienced Adventurers and realized that they were all correct. The Elven Fortress' advantageous position and formidable defenses gave the Goblins all the advantages. Any direct siege would be foolhardy. Any attempt to sneak in would be extremely risky.

It seemed that no conventional strategy would work.

However, as Zombie Priestess was slowly coming to realize, Undead Master was anything but conventional.

"We cannot attack it head on. We cannot sneak in. We cannot use fire," Undead Master nodded, "Challenging the Goblins in a matter that allowed them to dictate the terms of the engagement would have been foolish anyway. Very well. Let us create a scenario that will give us the advantage."

"And how do you plan to do that," Lady Revenant threw out her arms in frustration, "They're practically unassailable inside that fort!"

"By making them come out of it, of course." Undead Master replied.

With that, the necromancer then reached into the bag of holding that was his back pouch…

…and pulled out a banjo.

"What." Lady Revenant and Zombie Priestess said simultaneously.

Goblin Watchman gave a loud yawn, weary and frustrated after his ungrateful compatriots had left him out in the hot sun for the better part of the day. The sun had been almost unbearably hot, so much so Goblin Watchman dearly wished he could reach up and swat the annoying ball of heat and light from the sky. The moons were many times prettier than that accused thing anyway.

Crewing on the bone that once belonged to that pointy eared Adventurer that they had set ablaze, Goblin Watchman silently counted down the time before his replacement shift could come along. That lazy bum was never on time, and Goblin Watchman had things to do that were being delayed because of that idiot. It was supposed to be his turn with one of the captives, a brown-haired young thing that still shrieked and squealed even after she had been

Most captives sort of shut down and became unresponsive after a few weeks of captivity, but this one… oh, he was going to have so much fun tonight!

Well, not as much fun as he had with the last Adventurer though. Goblin Watchman had many fond memories of his time with her. Although there was something fun about a victim who reacted, the Adventurer's deadened eyes and cracked sobs as he and his compatriots broke her body and soul was something he would treasure for the rest of his days.

"Gob?" Goblin Watchman's sickening thoughts were interrupted when a strange sound echoed through the air. The sound of banjo playing a simple tune cut through the silent night like a knife through butter. In fact, the music was so loud, a smarter being would have realized some kind of magical enchantment to amplify the noise must have been involved to achieve that level of noise.

However, Goblin Watchman was not a smarter being, so he didn't question why the noise was there, and only accepted the fact that it was.

"Gob? Gob!" He grunted in confusion, annoyed and upset that he had been confronted with something he did not understand. He was not the only Goblin there that had that line of thought.

"Gob, Gob, Gob?" Said Goblins who had been sleeping that had been awoken by the noise.

"Gob, Gob, Gob!" Said Goblins that had been awake, and would now stay awake, because it.

Dozens of Goblins, all summoned by the music, soon joined Gobin Watchman on the battlements as they tried to understand where this strange cacophony was coming from. The Goblins looked out at the surrounding countryside from the safety of their Fortress, and before long they found it.

"Gob! Gob? GOB!" The Goblins laughed as they found the source of their woes.

A long human in a full set of grungy armor was sitting by a lit campsite and strumming away on his banjo like a complete idiot. Just one lone human traveler, out alone in the middle of the night, looking like he didn't have a care in the world. Ripe for the pickings for a Goblin horde that numbered his thirty-six to one. Goblin Watchman was so sure this man was a buffoon he was even willing to bet the moron wasn't even armed!

Alas, he just out of arrow and slingshot range. Although the Goblins could see him, not even Goblin Watchman, who believed himself to be the best archer in the mob, would hit the human from this range. Just as well though, since it later occurred to the Goblins that granting this fool a quick death would have been short sighted.

Since the death of the last Adventurer, they had been at a shortage of playthings. Their numbers having been decimated by the Adventurers and having already lost most of their captives to carelessly rough use, the Goblins could not risk being too forceful on the two females they had left. Had to build their numbers back up to at least four score if they wanted to raid the village itself, after all! This had left the Goblins bored, and wanting a new captive to vent their anger out on.

This man may just be the thing they were looking for!

"GOB, GOB! GOB!" Came the call to arms, as the Goblins organized a raiding party.

Goblins were not very smart, and they weren't fools either… but at the end of the day they were also one more thing: overconfident.

Leaving behind a third of their forces to guard their captives, who were no doubt quite pleased with the fact they could now spend extra time with the women, Goblin Watchman accompanied a twenty Goblin raiding party out into the wilderness to secure their little toy.

"GOB!" Goblin Watchman, leading the pack, demanded when he and his fellows arrived at the campsite. The Goblins had encircled the foolish man completely, cutting off every avenue of escape while the dimwitted man was clearly not playing attention. Now the man would pay for his inattentiveness with his life.

"Gob! Gob, Gob, Gob~!" Goblin Watcher demanded the man stand down and surrender again, threatening the man with bodily harm if he continued to ignore the Goblins. The lack of acknowledgement infuriated the horde.

With a single nod from Goblin Watchman, the Gobins closed in to make good on their threat.

Twenty goblins advanced on the foolish traveler as he continued to strum away on his banjo. Twenty goblins, armed to the teeth and filled with bloodlust, impatient to hear this man's screams of despair8 as they tore him limb from limb for their own amusement.

Twenty Goblins, who had signed their own death warrants by coming here.

"Fools." The man said as he stopped strumming his banjo.

"HOLY LIGHT!" A young voice cried out from somewhere unseen, suddenly bathing the whole area in a brilliant light that caused the surprised Goblins to temporally lose their vision.

"GOB!" Goblin Watchman, cursing the fact that the disgusting, deceitful human had actually bait the stones to lead the Goblins into an ambush, had the good sense to throw himself to the ground. Though his eyes were still blinded by whatever had caused him to lose his sight, he could hear his fellows getting slaughtered.

"…Six, Seven, Eight…"

When his vision came to, Goblin Watchman could not believe his eyes.

Unnaturally fast arrows curved through the air, guided by some unseen force to homing in Goblin necks and eyes with near perfect lethality. Two Skeleton Warriors rending Goblin Bodies asunder with tooth and claw, leaving trails of blood in their wake. A pale, and vaguely familiar, swordswoman wielding a Scimitar, laughing like she was mad as she plunged be blade into the heart of a Goblin repeatedly, not caring a single strike would have done the job…

…and the traveler, standing in the middle of all this carnage, bludgeoning Goblins to death with his Banjo. The man held the instrument by its' fretboard, swinging the Banjo in wide arcs so that the head and bracket would make violent contact with the skulls of every Goblin he could reach. When the Banjo finally cracked in half from the abuse, the man simply reached over to pick up the dropped weapon of his latest victim, which happened to be a pair of garden shears, and continued disemboweling every Goblin he could find.

The glowing red eye within the confines of the man's helmet, so sinister and unnatural that it filled Goblin Watchman with existential dread, burned like the spirit of vengeance made manifest.

Well, that tears it. Time to get the hell out.

"GOB! GOB! GOB!" Goblin Watchman, having managed to survive the carnage by virtue of having been below eye level, scrambled away from the campsite on all fours as fast as he could manage.

"…Thirteen… Fourteen… Fifteen…"

His fellows were dying at the hands of these blood crazed maniacs, but Goblin Watchman didn't care. The other Goblins would cover his escape! He would return to the fortress where the other Goblins were, where they would be safe from these monsters. As long as Goblin Watchman survived, he could start over! Rebuild, and be strong-

Something seized Goblin Watcher by the back of his neck and lifted him into the air.

"And where do you think you're going?" A familiar feminine voice sang as Goblin Watchman kicked and struggled in the air, but was unable to break free from the in the supernaturally strong grip.

"Gob~! Gob~! Gob~!" Goblin Watchman pleaded for his life. Pleaded for mercy. Promised whatever she was angry at him for, he would never do it again. Said everything he would think of to get her to spare his life, even when he didn't mean any of it.

Then, in a fairly impressive display of dexterity, Goblin Watchman's captor spun him around in her hand so he could see her face to face.

For the second time that day, Goblin Watchman could not believe his eyes.

"Hello again," The face of a dead woman, who for some reason was wearing a most particularly looking hat, sneered at Goblin Watchman, "Remember me?"

He did.

Oh. crap.

So much for Mercy.

Not even bothering to reach for her sword, Lady Revenant raised her bare hand and plunged it into Goblin Watcher's chest to rip out his cold black heart, making sure he screamed all the while…

"…Twenty . We have slain these Goblins." Undead Master surmised.

Dropping the now dented garden sears, Undead Master picked up a dropped short spear that had belonged one of the now deceased Goblins and began to inspect it. "We have done well."

"Yes, we have," Lady Revenant agreed, dropping the now lifeless body of Goblin Watchman from her hands like yesterdays garbage. "I… I didn't expect to be so strong, tough. Not that I don't appreciate it, or anything, And my anger… my fury… I've never fought like that before…"

"Revenants are fueled by vengeance. That was in your nature," Undead Master explained, carefully depositing the spear into his back pouch and moving on to inspect a dropped club, "When confronted with the object of your Revenge, you will single-mindedly pursue your target."

"It was like I was a whole different person."

"You are Undead now. Some changes are to be expected… even to your personality," Undead Master turned to look at Lady Revenant questioningly, "Does this scare you?"

"…No. No it does not," Lady Revenant admitted aloud, to both Undead Master and to herself, "It felt good. Like I was reveling in the bloodshed. Like it was what I was meant to do."

"Is that so?" Undead Master mused.

While the two Adventurers conversed, the other four members of the party watched this exchange from the sidelines in complete, utter silence. Their eyes wide, and their faces in varying expressions of horror and dread. Then Banshee Elf Archer spoke.

"It is wrong to be thankful that my heart isn't beating anymore so I won't get a heart attack from knowing there are now two of them?" She asked her colleagues.

"Nope." They replied in unison.

"Oh. Oh good." Banshee Elf Archer said, reassured she the others were all on the same page.

Undead Master turned to the group, red eye blazing like the crimson moon in the night sky.

"There are still Goblins remaining in the Fortress," Undead Master said with an edge to his voice that sent shivers down the spines of the other party members, "We have dealt with the main force, so what remains should be considerably less dangerous. Are you ready to continue?"

"Er, yes." Skeleton Lizardman managed to reply on behalf of his still shaken colleagues. "We will follow after you, Milord Undead Master."

"And you?" Undead Master asked Lady Revenant.

"More than ready." Lady Revenant replied.

"Good." Undead Master turned towards the silhouette of the Elven Fortress, now shrouded in darkness after the sun had set. "Let us go Slay the remaining Goblins."

"…so, I assume that following the ambush the rest of the sweep was much easier?" Guild Girl nodded from behind the reception desk.

"Yes, that is correct," Undead Master said from where she stood at the head of the party who had just returned from the Adventure, now five in number again after parting ways with Lady Revenant, "After we disposed of the main Goblin force, the remaining Goblins within the Fortress were no challenge. We disposed of them easily."

After all, the most dangerous thing about Goblins was the fact there was always more of them than there were Adventurers. Killing one or two Goblins was something even an untrained villager could do. However, when the odds were five to one, the advantage would lay with the Goblins.

Fortunately, the Goblin Slayers' ambush had wiped out that advantage. Twenty dead Goblins had been massacred in that one battle. Only ten frightened Goblins, who had watched their fellows getting torn to shreds from the battlements of the Fortress, remained to face the six Adventurers. Goblins may have been arrogant, malicious little fiends, but the sight of the carnage had awakened their instincts of self-preservation.

Instead of standing to fight, the Goblins showed their true nature as cowards and ran. The challenge then hadn't been to assault the Fortress, but to run the Goblins down before they had all fled into the night and escape to fight another day as Wanderers. Fortunately, Undead night vision was very handy in that regard.

There were no Goblin survivors.

"Thirty Goblins were exterminated, and Skeleton Lizardman's divination confirmed that we slew them all," Undead Master concluded, "We then ventured into the fortress. Two survivors."

"I see. It is good to see that someone was able to survive." Guild Girl lowered her eyes sadly, knowing that while those two women may have kept their lives, their ordeal would have been far from over. Indeed, many would say it was only beginning.

"Zombie Priestess was responsible for their rescue, and deserves full credit for it," Undead Master stated, causing the young Zombie by his side to jump slightly in surprise, "I would recommend the Guild put a commendation on her records for that, if possible."

"C-Commendation? M-Me?! Zombie Priestess stammered uncomprehendingly, unable to understand why the rest of the members of her new party were looking upon her proudly, "But what did I do? I just cast Holy Light once and Minor Heal on each captive. Skeleton Lizardman was the one who did most of the healing! The rest of you did more work than I did!"

"Don't sell yourself short, Lass," Hollow Dwarf chortled and gave Zombie Priestess a hearty pat on her shoulder, "If it hadn't been for you talking Bead Cutter and Lady Revenant out of torching the whole place, we never would have gotten a chance to save the captives."

"The ambush would also have been much less successful without your Holy Light," Skeleton Lizardman added sagely, "And the healing arts are only one aspect of saving another persons' life. The survival of those two women were more your doing than mine, child."

"Hey, just so you know we all talked it over together, and we all decided you earned it," Banshee Elf Archer beamed while giving the timid young Adventurer a big hug, "You did good in that Adventure. We literally couldn't have done it without you!"

"You did very well." Undead Master concurred.

Although she was dead and her heart wasn't actually beating anymore, Zombie Priestess felt like her heart was about to burst from the encouraging words she had received from the rest of her party.

"It seems like you had a good Adventure, didn't you?" Guild Girl smiled warmly at Zombie Priestess, "Most starting Adventurers would not have been able to achieve so much on their second mission, or such high praise from a party of Silvers. Good job!"

Zombie Priestess found moisture pooling in the corners of her eyes, unable to believe the feelings that were rushing through her whole body.

"Zombie Priestess. While we still have a long road ahead together, take comfort in one thing," Undead Master stated with absolute certainty, "You are now an Adventurer. Never forget that."

Was this… was this what completing an Adventure felt like?

"And I guess that concludes your field report and confirms the completion of your quest," Guild Girl noted as she produced a bag of coin out from under the desk and set it down before the party, "Here is your payment for the successful completion of the Quest. I will also make sure this young lady receives that commendation on her guild records."

"Thank you." Undead Master answered as he picked the bag off the table and handed it to Skeleton Lizardman for safekeeping.

"There is one outstanding matter, however," Guild Girl said before the party could turn to leave, "As I understand it, you revived one of the deceased Steel Ranked Adventurers that had undertaken the mission before you as a Revenant?"

The Undead members of the party froze in place, eyes widening as they heard the words they had been expecting but dreading to hear. They had known this moment was coming ever since they had begun their trip back, but now that it was upon them the three veterans and one novice wished they were anywhere but where they were at that moment.

Completely ignorant of their distress, Undead Master turned back to regard Guild Girl.

"Yes, I did," Undead Master said, seemingly unconcerned about the unusual nature of what was being discussed, "The adventurer in question was Noble Knight, a Steel Ranked adventurer who I believe was a daughter of a family of Knights. Their ancestral home is in the Water Town, I believe."

"I see," Guild Girl tapped her lip, "And as I also understand it, despite having slain the Goblins responsible for demise, she is still active as a Revenant?"

"That is correct," Undead Master confirmed, "Although I had originally intended for her to only slay the Goblins in the Elven Fort to avenge her own death, over the course of this adventure it appears she has become fixated with extracting her vengeance over the entire Goblin race."

"And she didn't accompany you back here? I would have thought she would have wanted to accompany her necromancer," Guild Girl tapped her finger against her desk idly, "Especially since you also take a lot of Goblin quests. The two of you would work well together."

Unbeknownst to Guild Girl and Undead Master, the four Undead Adventurers watching the exchange gave a series of involuntary shudders at the thought. They had narrowly avoided calamity there. If Lady Relevant had remained with their group and went on adventures with Undead Master, well, not even a heart that did not beat would have been able to survive that kind of situation!

"Unfortunately, she decided to go her own way. She decided that two Goblin hunting groups would cover more ground working independently," Undead Master recalled fondly, the tone of his voice full of approval at his fellow Goblin hunter's rationale, "Before we parted, she informed us that she intended to shift the base of operations was the Guild in the Forest Town. I believe if you wish to remain in contact with them, that is the place you should contact."

"Certainly!" Guild Girl chirped cheerfully, her hand playfully patting the huge stack of papers that had been lying beside her on the counter, "I had actually had another set of the reinstatement forms drawn up for her in case she actually needed it, but it seems I will have to forward it on to the Forest Town's Guild to help them get her sorted out."

"I see. That is considerate of you."

"Thank you for informing me about where she went. I will send my colleagues in the Forest Town a copy of the paperwork right away by courier," Guild Girl said as she pulled out a pen and parchment, and began to write out the cover letter for the package that would be transported, "One more set of forms to reinstate a Revenant, coming right up!"

"Four."

"Um, Sorry?"

"The Forest Town Guild will need four copies of that paperwork," Undead Master stated, the glow of his eye gleaming with pride at his achievement, "There are now four Revenants, after all."

The pen in Guild Girl's hands snapped in half from the force of her grip.

"No more Revenants. No more Revenants at all." Banshee Elf Archer whimpered, pulling on her long ears in both frustration and suffering as her mind went to a very dark place, "Forget Fire, Explosions or Poison. Revenants are the new number one at the top of the List."

"Aye." Hollow Dwarf seconded.

"Whole heartedly agreed." Skeleton Lizardman concurred.

No more Revenants.

Although she remained silent as Banshee Elf Archer began to sob pitifully, Zombie Priestess found she couldn't agree more.

Deep in a dark forest, a horde of Goblins fled for their lives.

The Goblins, having been minding their own business in their forest camp and enjoying their usual depravity, had suddenly found themselves under attack. At first they had assumed it was those accursed Adventurers, the bane of Goblinkind, that had foolishly thought to attack the Goblins in their own home. Then one of the Goblin marksmen had managed to send a crossbow bolt through the head of one of the assailants. What should have been a lethal blow did not even slow her down.

It was then that the Goblins realize what they were up against, and when they did the Goblins did the only thing they could do: they ran for their lives like death itself had come for them…

Because, quite honestly, in a way it did.

"…slay the goblins…"

Four women, skin pale as death and eyes an unseeing milky white, pursued the frightened prey with vicious grins on their faces and vengeful bloodlust on their mind. Wounds did not bother them, for their flesh was already dead. Exhaustion and tiring were not known to them, for vengeance and anger drove them beyond mortal limits. Mercy was a concept that they had no definition for.

"…Slay the Goblins…"

These four women, who once fought for righteousness, had all died violently and shamefully at the hands of the Goblins' kind. The Elf, burned alive while Goblins danced around her as she screamed and begged for a quick death. The Rhea, chained to a post and used as target practice, dying a long drawn out death as she bled out from poorly aimed shot. The Monk, fed the entrails of her friends before being turned into a plaything before being discarded like trash.

Their Leader, forced to watch all this happen to break her mind and soul.

They had all died, terror, fear and despair their final thoughts as they slipped from this world.

No person deserved to die like that, but they had.

The world was, indeed, cruel.

However, in those final, dying thoughts was also two other things: Anger, and Hate.

A wish to avenge themselves upon the scum that had so defiled their bodies and their ideals, one that was so strong, it allowed these four women to return to the world of the living to do one thing…

"…Slay the Goblins…!"

Elf Revenant roared, a look of perverse pleasure on her face as she too joy in watching the flames of her spells burned the Goblins to ash. They had burned her, and now she would return the favor.

"Slay the Goblins!"

Rhea Revenant bellowed, her crossbow firing bolt after bolt into the fleeing Goblins, making sure to hit them in places where she knew they would bleed out slowly, and painfully, as she once did.

"Slay the Goblins!"

Monk Revenant snarled, ripping any Goblins that strayed within arms reach apart with her own two hands. Once those hands of hers were used for healing. Now, she had other uses in mind for them.

"Slay the Goblins!"

Lady Revenant knew this was wrong.

As a former knight, fighting for Revenge instead of justice had been against everything she and her family had stood for. Her sin was made worse when she had asked Undead Master to bring her former comrades, who had deserved their rest after such terrible ends, into her crusade with her. While they had answered her call to arms, gladly even, her logical mind knew this was wrong.

But understanding something was wrong and actually caring about it were two different things.

Besides, the two bottles in her Dwarven helmet that Undead Master had given her had run out of water to keep her sober, and she couldn't be bothered to refill it at the moment. Her older brothers had always insisted she had been an angry drunk, and a little anger and hate was something she very much wanted to indulge in at the moment.

And so, Lady Revenant, wearing a repurposed beer hat that had failed in its' job to keep her sober and waving around a pointy sharp stick while being quite drunk, knew exactly what she had to do:

"Slay the Goblins!"

Four Revenants made from four slain Adventurers, whose vendetta was against the entire Goblin race, persecuted their crusade with extreme prejudice.

Considering how many Goblins there were and how quickly the little green vermin repopulated, it was most certainly going to be one without an end… but to this impossible task, the Four Revenants had only three words to say in response.

"SLAY THE GOBLINS!"

To Be Continued!

Undead Master and the Goblin Slayers will return in…

"Is it really okay to split the party like this?"

Authors Note - This chapter was interesting in that I decided to try my hand at writing from the Goblin's POV, and found myself going to pretty dark places. In fact, I felt VERY uncomfortable when writing certain parts of it, but felt I needed to do so to properly portray how sick and twisted the Goblins were. It's in character, but wow… I looked it over after writing it and was kind of shocked by the result.

In response to that darkness, I decided to try adding stuff from the 'other' Zombieland here, namely the Banjo scene, to offset the grimness. I think it worked pretty well.

Finally, with regards to Noble Knight/Lady Revenant, I wanted to have situation where Undead Master/Goblin Slayer was actively trying to push his 'kill all Goblins, forever' mentality onto someone while his party watched… and that someone actively considering it much to his party's horror (sort of like Kotaro Tatsumi trying to push the idol career onto Sakura and Co). This was the result. I hope you readersare pleased with the outcome (I know the Goblins and Bansee Elf Archer are not)!

Thanks for reading!