07.13.11
HOW IT ALL BEGAN PART 3
When we last left my insane, yet honest to God true story, I had just accidentally activated a super advanced sex robot (by kissing him, I still can't get over that) which then proclaimed his eternal love and devotion to me. All before noon.
This was not looking to be a good day.
I eventually pried him off me once again and told him to wait in the living room while I got him something to wear. Having a sex robot in the apartment was bad enough, he didn't need to be naked.
Unfortunately, finding clothes for him proved difficult as my father doesn't own any male clothes apart from an old suit he hasn't worn since my mom's funeral. He's a crossdresser by the way, don't think I mentioned that before, and if you were wondering why my mom's parents don't like him, now you know.
I was going to settle for the suit, which was pretty moth eaten, but then I noticed my new houseguest pulling a couple of clothing bags out of his crate. Why he didn't tell me about that before is anyone's guess.
There were three sets of clothing; each bag was labeled for what occasion each outfit was for. The first one was labeled, 'casual wear'. The second was, 'formal wear and the third read, 'sleep wear (usage optional)'.
No really, that's what it said.
Anyway, I handed him the casual wear and sent him to the bathroom to get changed. When he came out, he was wearing yellow-ish pants, a black shirt and a red jacket. This was infinitely preferable to nudity.
It was then that I realized something.
"Do you have a name?" I asked him.
He blinked. "I'm a First Generation Ouran Co-"
"No, that's not what I meant," I interrupted. "I mean do you have an actual name?"
"An actual name?" he repeated, sounding a bit confused.
I nodded. "Yeah, like my name is Haruhi, do you have a name like that?"
He didn't answer verbally, just shook his head.
I gave an annoyed sigh. I wasn't particularly keen on doing any more to make him think he belonged to me. In the end, I figured that when someone from this Ouran company finally shows up, they could just reset him so he'd forget or something..
"Well, I can't just call you 'You' for three months," I said with a forced smile. "So let me think…"
I began to wracke my brain for a good name. I knew a lot of people had names with some sort of meaning behind them, but I wasn't really concerned with that so much as having something to call him by that wasn't so general.
'Keiichi… no, I don't like it. Akira… wait, there's a little boy in the building called Akira, that may not work. Mamoru… definitely not, it doesn't suit him at all.'
"How about 'Tamaki'?" I finally said. Not sure where I got it from, it just came to me.
He smiled at me again. "Do you like that name, beloved?"
"Please stop calling me that," I said in monotone. "My name is Haruhi, okay?"
He gave a nod, his eyes shining in a way that made me wonder if he really was happy and not just programmed to be.
"Okay, I understand, beloved."
My eye began to twitch.
So, me and the newly dubbed 'Tamaki' spent the next hour or so in the living room. I was reading more of his user's manual so I'd have a better idea of what I was dealing with. He would read over my shoulder and answers my questions as best he could, and despite my greatest efforts, he would not stop calling me 'beloved'.
"What does this mean?" I asked, pointing at a section which stated the following:
'Dom/Sub: Non exclusive.'
"Oh that just means I am programmed to take the top role or the bottom role should you unlock my yaoi mode."
I made a face, probably a funny one too, "Your… yaoi mode?"
"That's right," he answered cheerfully. "It can only be unlocked with a password on page 18."
"…okay, thank you," I said while turning the page.
Before anyone asks, no, I never activated the yaoi mode. I don't care for that stuff, and that's the last you will ever hear of it.
Tamaki was quiet when I wasn't asking him anything. He only spoke on his own once, sometime later.
"So when are you going to activate the others?"
"Maybe later," I answered without thinking. Of course, once I realized what he'd just asked, you'd better believe I took it back.
"I mean NO! I'm not activating them!"
He looked perplexed. "Why, are you satisfied with just me?"
I could tell that another love barrage was on it's way, but before I could say anything to stop him, Tamaki'd pulled me into another embrace.
"Because I wouldn't object if that were the case," he whispered.
"I told you to stop doing that!" I cried as I pulled away from him. "For the last time, you do not belong to me. I had no right to activate you nor do I have the right to activate any of the others!"
If I hadn't known any better, I'd have said he looked hurt, but that was ridiculous. Robots are just really advanced computers, they aren't capable of real emotions. Or so I thought…
Anyway, I figured Tamaki would respect my wishes, so I felt fairly comfortable with leaving him alone for a few minutes while I used the bathroom. I only realized how wrong I'd been when I came back and found the previously upright crates all on their sides and open. Tamaki stood before them, crowbar in hand.
"Wha-what did you do?" I shouted at him.
He grinned happily, oblivious to my boiling anger. "I just thought you'd change you mind if you had a look at the others, my beloved."
I was so frustrated, I didn't even bother correcting him again.
"Well, you're wrong, I don't want to look at them," looking at Tamaki had been awkward enough.
He either didn't hear me, or just wasn't listening (in retrospect, it was probably the latter) as he reached over and grabbed my arm, pulling me in front of the first crate. I brought up a hand to keep myself from looking anywhere below the waistline while Tamaki started talking.
"This is the Cool Model Number 222509," he explained, sounding a bit like a car salesman. "He's meant to be a contrast to my personality. He's more cold and domineering, but still loyal and caring. He's also skilled in business and monetary fields."
I glanced at the sleeping robot. Unlike Tamaki, this one had black hair and sharper features. I briefly wondered what color his eyes might be, but that was definitely not something I cared to look into.
Tamaki then guided my to the next crate which, to my surprise, was twice as large as the others, and held two completely identical redheaded robots. These were the 'Mischievous Models' (can't remember the serial numbers). They were programmed to do everything together, including talk, walk and whatever else you can think of. They also had a 'twincest' mode, which I found far more creepy than appealing.
Next was the (not making this up) 'Loli Shota Model'.
Loli Shota… yeah…
When I brought this up to Tamaki, he assured me that the small robot was not meant for copulation, but rather for 'Moe Appeal'. I didn't really know what that meant, but it sounded a hell of a lot better than the first option.
Finally, there was a very large (as in tall, get your minds out of the gutter) dark, spiky haired robot which Tamaki called the 'Strong, Silent Model'. Apparently, both this one and the 'Loli Shota Model' had a vast knowledge of martial arts built into their databases. I only half believed that, the smaller one didn't look built (no pun intended) for strenuous labor, let alone martial arts.
The presentation over, Tamaki gazed at me with bright, starry eyes.
"Well, what do you think?" he asked.
I opened my mouth, then closed it again. I wanted to say no, but something about that look he was giving me made me hesitate. I actually almost wanted to say yes to him. It had to be some sort of robot manipulation technique screwing with my head.
I did wind up putting my foot down, though.
"Tamaki, I'm sorry," I tried not to react when his face fell. "I just can't. They aren't mine and neither are you."
He was silent for a minute, then sighed and gave me a much less happy smile.
"Alright, if that's what you wish, beloved."
We were really going to have to work on this whole name issue.
"Just help me close these back up, okay?"
He nodded, his head and eyes down. I didn't give any reaction even though I suddenly felt a tiny bit bad for some reason. I wasn't about to give in to a robot though, so I kept silent. We were about to close up the 'Cool Model' again, when we both heard a crash.
Thinking back, I have to wonder if it was fate that of all the nights they could've come, this was the one they choose. I'm really not all that inclined to believe in such things, but at times I can't help but wonder…
I knew right away what made the crash, so I didn't react much beyond an annoyed sigh and a shake of my head. You see, there's this group of college dropouts who like to wander the streets making noise and knocking over garbage cans. For the most part, they're completely harmless, so nobody says anything about them and just stays inside when they come around. However, if someone does get in their way, they tend to get violent. I hadn't witnessed it firsthand before tonight, but I'd heard a few stories around the neighborhood.
I could hear them talking loudly even from the second floor (that's another thing, they're extremely obnoxious). I groaned and went to shut the window, but Tamaki stopped me with a hand on my shoulder.
"Is something wrong?"
I turned to face him. "No, I'm fi-"
I stopped when I noticed his expression. For the first time since we'd 'met', he looked completely serious. Like a character in a shonen anime about to do battle with a foe. It was kind of weird.
"Those people down there," he said sharply. "Are they bothering you?"
I blinked, momentarily confused by his sudden change in attitude.
"Well, they're kind of annoying, but they don't really bother anyone, so-"
I stopped when Tamaki suddenly sprinted across the room and out the door, slamming it shut behind him. For a few seconds, I stood rigid, then I raced to the door and pulled it open. I saw Tamaki standing in front of the rowdy gang and felt like smacking my head against the door frame.
"Hey, get out of the way," one of them shouted at Tamaki.
The blonde robot stood his ground and glared at them.
"I will," he said. "If you promise not to come around here anymore. You're bothering my girlfriend."
'Girlfriend?' I asked inwardly, then shrugged in defeat. It was better than 'beloved' by any rate.
The gang snickered to themselves.
"Oh, this that so?" said the one in front, probably the leader. "Well, we happen to like this neighborhood, so your bitch is just gonna have top- HRRGH!"
My jaw dropped, and so did the other guy's. It should be noted that all five of them were about the same size as Tamaki and three times bulkier. So it came as a bit of a shock to everyone when the very lithe Tamaki punched the leader in the face hard enough to send him flying ten feet in the air and into a dumpster.
"Don't you dare talk that way about her!" He shouted.
When I thought about it later, I realized that it shouldn't be hard to believe that, as a robot, Tamaki would be stronger than a regular human. At the time though, all I could feel was shock and awe. The other guys didn't waste time in defending their leader. They all rushed Tamaki, who calmly knocked out two of them. The remaining two stopped and one motioned for the other to step back. This didn't look good.
The gang member suddenly jumped in the air and aimed a high kick at Tamaki's head. The attack succeeded, sending the robot sprawling into a nearby lamp post. Just as the second guy was about to congratulate his friend, Tamaki stood right back up, messy, but unfazed.
As the man charged again, I could only watched in fear, a single thought running through my head.
'If he gets damaged, I'll have to pay for it!'
…don't look at me like that. I'm not selfish, I just didn't see him as anything but a robot at the time. I'd only known him for a few hours, after all.
While I was freaking out about this, I tried to figure out just what I could do to stop the fight. The gang member continued to beat Tamaki up, and Tamaki just kept taking it, refusing to back down even though he couldn't get a hit on the guy. Tamaki may have been strong, but he definitely wasn't a martial artist like his opponent.
That's when it hit me. A martial artist!
I whirled around to look at the crates. The ones holding the 'Strong, Silent Model' and the 'Loli Shota Model' lay undisturbed on the carpeting. I went quickly over to them and kneeled down over the 'Strong, Silent Model'. I hesitated only for a second, remembering that even if they saved Tamaki, I would have no way of turning them off when this was over. Then I heard some more crashes from outside and a cry of, "Why won't you stay done?"
That relieved my doubt and allowed me to quickly kiss the dark haired robot's lips before moving over to the 'Loli Shota Model' and doing the same (I still didn't really believe he could fight, but I figured it was worth the risk).
It worked just like it did with Tamaki. First they started breathing, then their eyes fluttered open, then they sat up and looked deep into my eyes.
"Hi," I said before they could start the lovey dovey stuff. "My name is Haruhi, I am the one who activated you, and now I need you to go and help Tamaki."
I pointed at the door, but they just kept staring at me, confused.
"I need you to help… Princely Model Number 082708, right now!" I elaborated quickly.
Another crash rang out, this seemed to get their attention. The taller one nodded quietly as they stood up, but the 'Loli Shota' gave me an enormous grin.
"Okay, Haru-chan," he said with a child-like voice. "Just leave it to us. We love you!"
'Haru-chan?'
"Yeah," the taller one agreed. His voice was much deeper, a given considering his size.
As they ran out the door, I breathed a sigh of relief. I didn't even care that they'd just gone outside stark naked.
It turned out that the Loli Shota actually was capable of martial arts (in fact, he did most of the work from what I saw). The fight was over in minutes, and I immediately called the three back inside before any neighbors saw them. I wondered why none of them had come outside yet what with all the noise, but I guess it was a blessing in disguise. Who knows what they'd have thought if they saw three guys, two of them naked, run into my apartment.
I locked the door behind me and leaned against it. I didn't even bother fighting when Tamaki pulled me into a hug for the billionth time.
"There now, they won't bother you anymore, beloved," he said soothingly.
"Gee, thanks."
Of course, he completely missed the sarcasm and just hugged me tighter. Meanwhile, my two new guests were thankfully dressing themselves in the provided clothes. The Loli Shota also for some reason came with a stuffed rabbit named which he named, 'Usa-chan'.
"Say Haru-chan," the boy suddenly said. "Since Princely Model Numb- I mean Tama-chan got a name, do we get names too?"
I looked at him and smiled. "Well, it would be easier to talk to you, so sure, you two can have names."
"That's right," Tamaki piped up. "And once we activate the others, they'll get names too."
"Are you still going on about that?" I moaned. "I already told you, I can't wake all of you up."
"But what about them?" Tamaki asked, motioning towards the Strong, Silent Model and the Loli Shota Model.
"I only woke them so they could help you," I argued. "It was an emergency!"
At that moment, I felt a tugging at my sleeve. It was the Loli Shota Model, looking up at me with huge, tearful eyes.
"Haru-chan," his whimpered. "If you don't activate them, they'll be stuck in stasis for a really long time. That would be too sad, they should be able to enjoy life the way we can, don't you think so?"
Damn manipulative robots.
"Look," I said, raising both hands. "For the last time, I cannot activate them. We'll have to close them back up and put them in…"
I trailed off, realizing once again that I still had no place to put any of them. Even with half of them awake and active, the remaining two crates just wouldn't fit anywhere. Tamaki and the other two would have to stay in my dad's room, the closet was still too small, the only option I really had was…
"This is not my day," I groaned as I got up and walked to the crates.
The three awake robots watched in anticipation as I kneeled down before the redheads and quickly pecked one of them on the lips. I sat back up, and watched for a moment as the redhead began moving before turning my attention to the other one… which was also moving.
"Huh?" I said out loud as two pairs of eyes opened and gazed up at me.
They sat up at the exact same time, smiled the exact same way, and spoke with the exact same voice:
"Hello, beloved, it is nice to meet you."
By now sufficiently creeped out, I glanced at Tamaki, who just smiled and shrugged.
"I told you, they do everything together."
Which seems to include activating. Thank Tamaki, I appreciate the advance notice.
That aside, I edged over to the final crate, the one holding the 'Cool Model'. It was a very odd name, I had no idea what it could signify. Tamaki had said this one was suppose to be a contrast to his personality, and so far, Tamaki was loud, cheerful, and kind of an idiot. I wasn't sure whether to feel good or nervous about what this might say about the 'Cool Model'.
For some reason, his user's manual was on top of him rather than tucked under his arm like the other. I paid it no mind and simply pushed the booklet to the floor, where it fell open to a random page.
I leaned forward and pressed my lips to his. All the other times (barring Tamaki), I'd counted to three in order to time how long I kissed each of them. It had worked fine so far, but this time, I only got to two before a hand shot up to my head, keeping me in place as the newly awakened robot kissed back passionately.
In my shock, I made the mistake of opening my mouth to yelp, and the next thing I knew, the 'Cool Model's' tongue had invaded. As I struggled to get away, my eyes found the fallen user's manual, positioned just so I could make out a few key lines of writing:
Please be aware that your Cool Model Lover Figure may become extremely forward upon initial activation…
…now they tell me.
Posted by Haruhi at 9:05 pm 10 comments.