I have to find a way to work that Kashima Gatalympics into this thing. Holy crap, the guys behind Zombieland Saga are pure geniuses. Geniuses, I tell you! Anyway, I've decided to leave the proofreading until the end of the arc since I keep pressing on like an idiot for some reason. Oh well. At least people have more to read, right?
She was beautiful.
That was the only way Zombie Priestess could described the radiant, legendary woman that had stepped out of the wooden carriage and was now standing at the end of the red carpet that had been rolled out to receive her.
Her silky long hair glittered like spun gold in the evening light. Her lithe figure was perfectly proportioned, the envy of many lesser women. The sword of justice at her side and the power and virtue that radiated off her very being left Zombie Priestess no doubt as to who this woman was.
"Hello, Goblin Slayers. It has indeed been a while since I last saw you." Sword Maiden, the blindfold across her eyes the only imperfection in her otherwise flawless appearance, inclined her head slightly in greeting as she slowly made her down the red carpet to where the five Adventurers waited to greet her at the main door of the manor.
Zombie Priestess, clad in the best white and blue dress she had ever worn, was practically shaking in her heels as the living legend approached. Never in her wildest dreams did Zombie Priestess ever believe she would have to play host to such an esteemed figure so soon into her Adventuring career! Zombie Priestess was but a humble servant of the Earth Mother, and dealing with a woman who felled the Dark Lord was far beyond what any Porcelain was expected to do.
Worse still, the fact Zombie Priestess was standing there without any of her makeup, meaning her ghastly green skin and undead nature was plain for all to see, didn't help her nerves any. In fact, none of her fellow Adventurers had their disguises on either.
It didn't matter that everyone, save Undead Master who was still clad in his usual armor, was dressed in the finest clothing in the frontier. It didn't matter the other three Undead Silvers had assured her Sword Maiden would understand. Zombie Priestess so high strung from the fact a small circus of Undead horrors were proudly presenting themselves to the greatest heroine of the land, it was a wonder the poor Zombie could even function!
"Welcome, Archbishop," Undead Master stepped forward and silently, and more importantly rudely, towards Sword Maiden, "You have come to see my sister to do a business deal, yes?"
"H-Hold on, Sir," Zombie Priestess tried to say discretely from behind the armored man, feeling absolutely horrified by their leader's total lack of tact, "S-She just arrived. Shouldn't you exchange more pleasantries before getting to business?"
"This is a business trip, and she came here to settle a specific matter. Would it not make sense to address this upfront?" Undead Master replied quizzically.
"But, Sir…!"
"Let it go," Banshee Elf Archer advised Zombie Priestess gently, "Orcbolg has always been like this."
"Far more impatient than any Elf." Hollow Dwarf agreed.
"Do not worry, young one. Sword Maiden knows him well and would not take offence for his actions." Skeleton Lizardman added quickly.
Sword Maiden watched this exchange in silence, a small nostalgic smile settling on her dainty features. Perhaps she found amusement in this comfortable behavior, so different from the rigid protocol of the church. Perhaps she was remembering her own experiences from a time long ago when she too, was a mere Adventurer.
Whatever the case though, it was clear Sword Maiden approved.
"It is heartening to know your Adventures have not changed you in the slightest, Good Sir," Sword Maiden remarked politely, her head then turning to regard the other party members behind Undead Master, "Honored Elf, Honored Dwarf, Honored Naga. It is good too meet you again, as well."
"And we you, your Holiness," Skeleton Lizardman clasped his hands together in prayer and bowed, with Banshee Elf Archer, Hollow Dwarf and Zombie Priestess all making their gestures of reverence to the Archbishop, "As always, our services are at your command for your stay here."
"You honor me greatly, all of you. And you have a new member among your ranks," Sword Maiden's attention then turned to the Zombie Priestess, forcing the young Adventuress to have to hold down the rising panic in her heart, "How interesting. A Priestess of the Earth Mother. I had heard of this new addition from my fellows in the Church, but to confirm it myself…"
"I-I am very honored to meet you, your Holiness!" Zombie Priestess stammered out.
Zombie Priestess felt herself breaking out into cold sweat. Sword Maiden's undivided attention was completely on Zombie Priestess, and the young Adventurer was absolutely certain that the legend knew that she was Undead. The Archbishop, one of Zombie Priestess' childhood idols, was completely aware she was a Zombie.
How could this possibly get any worse?
"Enough banter," Undead Master spoke up impatiently, "Archbishop, we will bring you to your room. Where is your luggage?"
"Undead Master, Sir, j-just a second," Zombie Priestess stammered out, utterly aghast that he was being exceedingly rude for the second time, "The Archbishop was in the middle of… you can't…"
"Why not? Our guest will be more comfortable if she has a room, and her luggage needs moving," Undead Master stated logically, "Is it not the job of the host to ensure the guest is comfortable?"
Zombie Maiden stared at the necromancer with open mouthed horror, unable to comprehend how someone could be so right, but still be so wrong at the same time.
"Uh, Orcbolg? I think you broke her." Banshee Elf Archer quipped.
"Beard Cutter managing to confound someone by being absolutely correct," Hollow Dwarf chuckled, "It never gets old, watching him do that!"
"It's quite all right, young Priestess," Sword Maiden reassured Zombie Priestess, "I have known this man and his eccentricities for quite some time now. I assure you, I take no offence."
"Is that so?" Undead Master mused while Zombie Priestess shrank in on herself, praying to the Earth Mother that Sword Maiden had meant what she had just said and wasn't just trying to be polite.
"I am curious though, where is you sister? I would have thought as the lady of the mansion that she would want to be out here to greet me as I came in," Sword Maiden pondered turning her heard around as if to search for manor's missing owner, "From what I understand, her 'predilection' towards hospitality would have compelled her to be here."
"It is currently fifteen past three in the afternoon. The sun is out, so my sister is currently asleep. She will rise at around six to meet us for dinner once the sun begins its' descent," Undead Master explained gruffly, "As for the hospitality requirements, there are ways around such things."
"Really?" Sword Maiden said with genuine interest.
"Yes. My sister knows how to delegate, after all. Sister is most wise." Undead Master nodded, "Is there any particular reason you wished to see her so early?"
"Oh, I just have a present for her, that's all, from one friend to another. It isn't something that is urgent, and I can give it to her later," Sword Maiden replied waving the matter off, "Now, shall we go in? I have been looking forward to seeing your home for some time now, and cannot wait to see what your abode has to offer!"
Undead Master and the Goblin Slayers in…
"Is it acceptable to have a family dinner while there is a massacre going on outside?"
Starring…
Goblin Slayer as Undead Master
Priestess as Zombie Priestess
High Elf Archer as Banshee Elf Archer
Dwarf Shaman as Hollow Dwarf
Lizardman Priest as Skeleton Lizardman
…And…
Big Sister as Vampire Sister
A not for profit fanfiction by Sasahara17 based on the dark fantasy adventure series Goblin Slayer by Kumo Kagyu, and inspired by the hit idol group Franchouchou of Saga Prefecture, who were produced and re-animated by Kotaro Tatsumi, Cygames and Studio Mappa.
Please support the official releases!
In spite of having arrived in a carriage with as an escort, Sword Maiden had been the only one to actually stay in the mansion. The two Paladins and the carriage driver, all devout believers in the Supreme God, had declined the opportunity to stay in the manor. Instead were going on to the Frontier Town to find their own accommodations and to conduct some other business; apparently something to do with Lady Knight.
The two Paladins had made it extremely clear before parting ways that should anything untoward happen to Sword Maiden while their beloved Archbishop was in the manor, the Church of the Supreme God would hold all of the hosts accountable. This, of course, did not do Zombie Priestess' increasingly frayed nerves any favors.
"Do not worry," Sword Maiden had reassured Zombie Priestess, the only one of the Goblin Slayers who seemed unsettled by this declaration, "I will admit that the Paladins might be the more zealous members of our Church, but even they will not do you and your fellows harm without just cause."
Which, unfortunately, meant that they would do Zombie Priestess harm if they ever found such cause to do so. There was no doubt in the young Priestess' mind that the Paladins were just looking for an excuse to start Smiting Evil… not that any of the Goblin Slayers were evil, but the point stood.
Sword Maiden had not brought very much in the way of belongings with her for the trip.
Just a single suitcase containing two spare changes of her holy vestments, two ceremonial robes clearly meant for more formal occasions, and several wrapped packaged gifts for each of the residents of the manor and, curiously enough, the Goblin Slayers. While Zombie Priestess had known that Sword Maiden was an acquaintance of the Goblin Slayers, the gifts indicated that their relationship was much closer than she had previously believed.
"One of my deepest regrets since gaining my Gold Rank is that my time is no longer my own," Sword Maiden explained as Banshee Elf Archer and Zombie Priestess helped the Archbishop move contents of her bag into the wardrobes of her the guest room while Skeleton Lizardman stored the suitcase itself in an overhead cupboard to ensure the Archbishop wouldn't trip on it "There is so much I am that I am responsible for, that I have to find excuses to meet even those I consider my friends."
"Wow, Gold Rank sounds like such a drag," Banshee Elf Archer groused with a shake of her head, "The Guild makes it out to be something all Adventurers should aspire to, but every time I see you the more I realize how troublesome it is."
"That is an unfortunate truth. Although the prestige and recognition are good to have, the responsibilities are tiresome. It is often I long for simpler days were my problems could be solved with my Sword, and my ability to go where I wished was not so restrained," Sword Maiden advised the other Adventurer sagely, "Take this advice from a friend, Honored Elf. Should you ever have such a rank is offered to you, you would best think carefully if this life is the one for you."
"Thank you very much for your kind words, Archbishop, I don't think it will be happening anytime soon, what with my being Undead an all," Banshee Elf Archer said appreciatively, "Still, I will keep that in mind should something like that arise."
"I am honored that you would regard us so highly, your Holiness. I am sure the other members of the party who are not presently here would be happy to know this," Skeleton Lizardman bowed politely, "If you do not mind me saying so, your words are somewhat unexpected since we have only worked for you twice before. To hear you consider us as friends is welcome, but a surprise."
"Oh, that is quite all right," Sword Maiden replied humbly, "The terror in the Water Town was ended because of your efforts, and the scrolls you delivered to me have proven invaluable. More than that, you four are have helped me on a much more personal level as well, how could I not regard you as anything else but friends?"
"See, look what I told you," Banshee Elf Archer have Zombie Priestess a playful nudge, the pair having hung out the past of the Archbishop's clothes in the cupboards, "Adventures don't have to be all about Goblins. Finding treasures and making friends is something we get to do too!"
"The quests were both about Goblins, though." Sword Maiden interceded with a cryptic smile, "The first was a Goblin infestation of the Water Town sewers, and the second was when you cleared out an ancient sorcerer's library that had been infested by a Goblin tribe. I wouldn't say that those quests were without Goblins."
Banshee Elf Archer looked at Sword Maiden, a look of betrayal mixed with embarrassment clear upon the Elf's shocked features. Zombie Priestess was stunned as well, and could not have believed what had just transpired. Sword Maiden for her part, simple brought her hand to her mouth and let out a soft, dainty giggle.
"Oh, pardon my boldness, Honored Elf. I could not resist after you had given me such an opportunity to tease you like that," Sword Maiden said mischievously, "After all, teasing each other is something friends do, is it not?"
There was a short moment where Banshee Elf Archer took in the Archbishops words, before the Undead Elf then burst into laughter.
"Yes, yes you are right about it, there!" Banshee Elf Archer agreed wholeheartedly, causing Zombie Priestess to inwardly release a breath of relief. It seemed that, for all her worries about the Archbishop's prominent position in the Supreme God's church, Sword Maiden was indeed a friend of the Goblin Slayers. Perhaps Zombie Priestess' worries about Sword Maiden were misplaced after all!
The Goblin Slayers finished setting up Sword Maiden her room shortly after. As Sword Maiden had been travelling light, this labor had not taken up much time at all. The sun was still high in the air, and dinner was still just over two hours away.
The plan had been for the party to let Sword Maiden rest after her long trip from the Water Town, using that time to go over their plans one more time, but Sword Maiden had other ideas.
"Young Priestess, I would like to have a moment with you, if you please," Sword Maiden called out just as the three Undead Adventurers were exiting the room. "I am terribly sorry as I know you have duties to perform, but I would like to take this chance to get to know a new face."
Zombie Priestess, one foot already out the door to follow Skeleton Lizardman and Banshee Elf Archer, found herself experiencing déjà vu.
"I would advise you to take the Archbishop up on her offer, young Priestess," Skeleton Lizardman quietly advised Zombie Priestess "Sword Maiden is one of the most experienced Adventurers alive. Any words of wisdom she can share with you would be immensely helpful."
"Yeah. She was one of the great heroes who slew the Demon Lord, after all," Banshee Elf Archer added supportively, "Not every Adventurer has the opportunity to have a private meeting with her. You should make the most of it."
"O-Okay." Zombie Priestess said, trying to quench the feelings of apprehension in her heart as she went back in to meet the Archbishop without her companions.
Sword Maiden was sitting upright on the edge of bed, hands on her lap while her sword rested against the wall. She seemed relaxed and entirely at ease. Between her nonthreatening posture, and her calm demeanor, there was no logical reason for Zombie Priestess to worry. Yet she did.
"S-So, it is very good to meet you, your Holiness," Zombie Priestess drew the seat from the small work desk that and sat down across from Sword Maiden, making every effort to keep her voice level, "I-I must say, it has always been a dream of mine to meet a great hero like yourself."
"Oh, you flatter me so. It pleases me to know my own deeds could inspire brilliant young women such as yourself to do good deeds as I once did," Sword Maiden giggled inquisitively, "I must say, I doubt that your career is proceeding quite the way you have envisioned it too."
"N-No, it isn't." Zombie Priestess bit her lip, the horrible memories from that ill-fated Adventure still lingering in her mind even after all this time.
"Oh, forgive me," Sword Maiden quickly apologized, her brows rising from behind her blindfold as a sure sign she had indeed made an error, "I simply wanted to ask you about how you are taking to the other members of your party and their odd Adventures. I am sorry that I made you think of bad memories. I should have worded my jest better. That was careless of me."
"N-No. It's fine." Zombie Priestess shook her head rapidly, trying to put those memories behind her and focus on the present, "The other Adventurers have been good to me. They're all more experienced and have been teaching me many interesting things. I am learning a lot."
Despite all the Adventures being Goblin related, of course. But then again, given all that usually transpired in those Adventures, Zombie Priestess had already known just labeling those quests as just 'Goblin related' did them a great disservice.
Furthermore, it seemed Sword Maiden herself knew this.
"That is good to know you are fitting in well," Sword Maiden noted with approval, "As you could tell by their Silver ranks, your colleagues were all highly respected members of their own communities before their deaths, and subsequent revivals as Undead beings. While I know their circumstances can be disturbing to some, they are some of the best I have ever known."
"Yes, I can tell that. Honestly, I am very lucky to have been accepted into this group," Zombie Priestess agreed brightly, "I could have done without being turned into a Zombie to do it, though."
"Indeed, how are you dealing with that? Being turned into a Zombie on your first Adventure must have caused quite a stir with the rest of your Abbey," Sword Maiden asked, "Tell me, are you personally okay with what you have become?"
"Well, I am dealing with that fairly well." Zombie Priestess started carelessly.
"Unfortunately, that is a lie."
Zombie Priestess shut her mouth so quickly the sound of her teeth clicking together could be heard throughout the room.
"By the Supreme God, I hereby declare that statement to be false," Sword Maiden declared, her hands palming the rosary that was settled in on her lap, "Well then, I know you were trying to put on a strong front that time, but I would caution you to choose your words more carefully."
"Y-You used the Sense Lie Miracle on me?" Zombie Priestess stammered out, the invasion of her privacy causing the panic that had subsided to rise once more.
"Forgive me for my rudeness, but I cannot feel that caution is required in matters that concern my friends," Sword Maiden explained cleanly, "Undead creatures are not the most accepted of beings by the Churches of Order. You yourself must have experienced this at the hands of your own Faith."
"I… I do." Zombie Priestess admitted, remembering the difficulties she had been experiencing with the Mother Superior and the other Priestesses in the Abbey. The pain of rejection, the suspicion, all those terrible feelings, were something Zombie Priestess knew well.
"While there are many in the Church open minded enough to accept the Goblin Slayers as forces of good who have helped countless innocents, there are many zealous voices that seek to do my friends harm," Sword Maiden continued firmly, "I did not wish to let the others know this, but I have had to argue against many Knightly Orders who did not take to their existences kindly, and wanted to take, shall we say, drastic action."
"O-Oh. Is that so?" Zombie Priestess rubbed a hand against her neck. She knew there were people out there who didn't like the Goblin Slayers, but to go so far as to be openly hostile? That was not news Zombie Priestess wanted to hear at all.
"It is good to see that you have no bitter feelings in spite of you still coming to terms with what you have become, but I had to make sure you bore them no resentment. The faith of the Earth Mother very traditional, after all." Sword Maiden stated resolutely, "The Goblin Slayers are not unused to having their acquaintances reject them. I had to be sure there was nothing that the zealots could exploit in you to send a dagger into their backs. Would you forgive me, for this discourtesy?"
"I see. I can understand that." Zombie Priestess agreed grudgingly. "All is forgiven, your Holiness."
Although she was not happy at the disrespect shown to her by the Archbishop, it seemed the Archbishop had done so with good cause. In that light, how could Zombie Priestess blame Sword Maiden for protecting her friends?
"That is very nice to hear. I thank you for your understanding, young one," Sword Maiden smiled warmly, "Now, shall we move away from this topic? This is much I want to know about you."
"Well that is no bother at all!" Zombie Priestess replied, feeling exceeding thankful that they were now moving on to-wait, why was Sword Maiden's hands still on the rosary, and why did Zombie Priestess get the sense that the 'Sense Lie' Miracle was still active?
"With that settled, let us start talking about Sir Undead Master," Sword Maiden decided, an enigmatic smile that hid something Zombie Priestess found utterly terrifying now gracing the Archbishop's features, "Now, as he was the one who brought you back from the grave, you must surely have feelings of admiration of him. Could you care to elaborate on those for me, please?"
Zombie Priestess gulped.
The young Priestess was now certain… forget Undead Master the necromancer. Forget Vampire Sister, the Vampire. It was Sword Maiden armed with a simple 'Sense Lie' Miracle, that the most terrifying person that had Zombie Priestess encountered!
"They will be coming soon."
"Hm-um. I know."
The sun was just beginning to dip over the edge of the horizon as two childhood friends walked along the boundary of the estate, tracing the wooden fence that bordered the grounds.
The first of the pair, a man clad head to toe in armor, stopped intermittently to inspect the many defenses he had erected to ensure his home would be safe. His strategy and preparations to survive the coming storm had long been worked out beforehand, and indeed any who had witnessed the extent of his work would have considered it excessive. However, he had always been a cautious one, always thinking, always strategizing, always experimenting, never once resting on his laurels.
Even now, when the moment of truth was so close at hand, Undead Master continued to make minor tweaks and small changes to the defenses he had erected. He wouldn't be satisfied with anything less, for those that now depended on him deserved nothing but his very best.
The girl who followed behind him, a young woman in a humble farmer's work clothes, was not a warrior lie he was. She lived a simple life, untroubled about things like the fate of the world or the fulfillment of a grand destiny. For all that she had experienced in her short life and all the curel things she had learned about the way the world worked, the girl knew in her heart that the only things that mattered to her were the weather, the animals, the crops… and him.
Cow Girl may have been a humble farmhand, but she knew where her priorities stood.
"You should go back into the manor. It is safer there, and my comrades will protect you," Undead Master said, walking on as his keen eyes scanned the horizon, and the darkened woods in the distance, for the monsters that would attack, "This area will soon be a battlefield."
"I know." Cow Girl replied, training behind the necromancer with complete surety of her own safety. "I also know you will be on that battlefield, watching over your army to keep everyone safe."
"Then you know that it is no place for you," Undead Master insisted his gait slowing as concern crept into his normally level voice, "Sister has confirmed the army of Goblins is formidable. They will have hostages as shields, wolves as mounts, and Champions and Shamans to lead them. This battle will be bloody. I do not want to see you caught up in it."
"I won't. You will protect me," Cow Girl responded with full confidence, "You always will."
"It will be hard for me to do that if you remain by my side the entire time," Undead Master pointed out crossly, "I do not understand why you must be so insistent about being next to me on this night. I have no need of an adjutant. Sister could use your aid more in hosting the Archbishop. Instead, you wish to follow me. What you are doing is dangerous. Even your Uncle has told you so."
"I know." Cow Girl agreed serenely, "But that is why I must remain by your side."
"Why?" Undead Master asked in confusion.
"To make sure you take care of yourself," Cow Girl supplied, looking him in the eye to convey her determination, "You are always protecting us, but you never protect yourself. With everything as it is here, I am afraid of what you will do to yourself. So, I will remain here, to watch over you when you will not watch over yourself."
Undead Master was rendered utterly speechless at the determination and steel within her voice. The necromancer had seen many things in his lifetime, but even for someone who had slain countless Goblins, discovered and destroyed ancient fortresses, defeated mighty foes and commanded the darkest arts known to creation, even he found himself humbled by the will he saw in those red eyes. Cow Girl may have been a simple person, but that in no way meant her worth was any less than even the greatest of Adventurers.
"Even if it means putting myself in danger, for just this one time I want to watch over you while I have the chance," Cow Girl continued, unperturbed by her childhood friend's silence, "I know you always at yourself at risk, even with all the power you have at your command. But today, I will be watching over you to make sure you come home safe. Is that really so wrong for me to want to see you safe, as much as you want that for us?"
"No... no, I suppose it isn't." Undead Master relented.
As reckless as her words were, Undead Master knew she was not wrong. Although his necromantic powers meant there was no need for him to fight the Goblins up close, he had never given up the chance to do so when given the choice. With his family, the one thing that mattered to him as much as Goblin Slaying, so close to this battle, Undead Master admitted perhaps he might be willing to take more risks than he otherwise would have. Risks that might have been detrimental to his health.
His family always knew him better than he knew himself.
If she remained by his side, then Undead Master would not put himself at risk. Instead of using himself as the tip of the spear, as he had planned, he would employ strategies that would protect himself just as much as it would protect the manor proper. It would be more challenging to be sure, and he probably would need to sacrifice much of the environment to achieve both those objectives, but Undead Master knew he could do it.
What a troublesome development … but it was not one he would say was an unwelcome one.
"My sister put you up to this, didn't she?" Undead Master asked.
"Hm-um. Maybe," Cow Girl replied, conforming his hunch, "But I cannot say that I disagree."
"The sights that you see will be daunting. The violence of the battle and the barbarism of the Goblins is unmatched," Undead Master warned cautiously, "The Goblins will have brought captives with them to use as shields. While I plan to rescue them, the condition they will be in is not one the faint of heart should witness. It would not be unlike when our home was attacked."
"I know. But you and I have both seen worse, haven't we?" Cow Girl reminded him with an amused glance, "Although I do not wish to see such things again, if it means ensuring you are safe then a few sleepless nights are the small price that I am willing to pay for that."
He could already see it in her eyes. There would be no dissuading her from this course of action. Such was the will of a girl protecting that which she loved.
"Very well," Undead Master decided, knowing full well he would have to proceed with her, "I will permit you to follow me."
"Thank you." She replied with a small curtsy.
"Now, then," Undead Master stated with certainly, "since you are following me, now, I should let you know what my plan is. The plan is…"
"…to lead off with dinner at half past six, which will a relatively casual meal between us and the Archbishop, consisting of one appetizer, one main course and one desert," Vampire Sister said, reading off the plan she had scribbled onto a blackboard to the four Adventurers that sat before her, "Uncle and I did most of the work this morning, and it shouldn't take me longer than half an hour to put the finishing touches on the dishes. Still, while I am busy doing that, you four will be responsible for keeping the Archbishop occupied and entertained with small talk."
"Um," Zombie Priestess raised a hand uncertainly, wondering why they were all conducting the briefing in this dungeon room in the basement. She had only just managed to get away from her interrogation at the hands of Sword Maiden, and was unsettled that the plan stated she would be thrown right back into the proverbial fire so soon, "Is it a good idea for us to have the first meal the Archbishop has here as something so simple as her first meal here? I mean, she is expected to stay for the whole weekend, but it is always important to give a good first impression, right?"
"Good observation," Vampire Sister nodded happily, "However Sword Maiden expressed to us in her letter that her position as the Archbishop meant she was sick and tired of big, formal meals. A homely family dinner like this one would be just the thing to change up her life."
"Er, are you sure half past six is a good time to hold the dinner, especially if we are going to have it in the dining room? You do realize that the Goblins are also expected to attack at sun-down right?" Banshee Elf Archer pointed out worriedly, "The dining room isn't exactly the most soundproof place there is in the building while there is a small war going on outside."
Well, that, and the fact that the dining room conveniently was in the wing facing where the Goblins would be coming from. While it would be a while before any of those Goblins crossed the distance to the manor and actually threatened it, the four Undead Adventurers were justifiably worried about what the Archbishop would think if the sounds from the battled carried over.
"It's the dining room. Where else are we supposed to have dinner?" Vampire Sister asked quizzically.
"We did suggest moving the dinner to the Gallery, Madam Sister," Skeleton Lizardman proposed, "Either that, or the Ballroom. Both rooms are designed to keep outside noise to a minimum, and it is a trivial labor to move some tables and chairs to those places to facilitate the meal."
"The change in venue could be justified in us wanting to treat the Archbishop with more respect." Hollow Dwarf suggested with a shrug, "The Ballroom is larger and more extravagant, while the Gallery is there to showcase your painting collection."
"You do realize that Sword Maiden is blind, right?" Banshee Elf Archer immediately pointed out with a sigh. Although the Elf would have loved to get one over the Dwarf, she knew this time her critique, while valid and needed to be said, undermined their efforts to make their lives easier.
"Hey, it was just a thought." Hollow Dwarf grumbled.
"Unfortunately, this isn't a democracy here," Vampire Sister stated putting her foot down, "The Archbishop wanted a homely 'family dinner', and as your client I say that having the dinner in the proper room is absolutely necessary in doing that. So there! Dinner will be in the dining room."
All four Undead Adventurers winced. While it wouldn't be impossible for them to get over that issue, especially since worst came to worse Zombie Priestess could just cast silence and hope for the best, it was clear trouble was on the horizon.
"Now, moving on," Vampire Sister continued, pointing to the next item on the blackboard, "After dinner, you will be taking the Archbishop to the pool for a swim. She loves having heated baths, and I really want to see what she thinks of the new pool."
"Really?" Zombie Priestess asked excitedly.
"Yes! If she likes it, then maybe I might be on to a whole new business venture," Vampire Sister clasped her hands together jovially, "I've been looking to do something away from food and wines for a while now, and maybe a heated spa and gym might just be the thing to expand my company's portfolio! It's not my company's core competence, but if Sword Maiden comes aboard maybe I could start a whole new business venture with her on it!"
"That is so not what I had expected when you asked us to show her your pool." Banshee Eld Archer responded in a deadpan voice.
"Ladies only, though," Vampire Sister gave the two male Adventurers a cheeky wink, "Sorry, gents, you can go in after the ladies are done with it."
"It is quite all right. I have never been one for swimming." Skeleton Lizardman said.
"My metal body doesn't respond well to water. I'd sink, and that isn't fun." Hollow Dwarf agreed.
"Still it's good to have her in the pool," Zombie Priestess decided, "The sound of running water and the relaxing sensation of the warm pool should distract her from anything happening outside."
"That sounds about right. We can keep her there until the fighting ends, or until it is time for bed," Banshee Elf Archer decided, "Still, we had better keep a spare casting of the Silence miracle on hand in case the fighting lasts longer than we think it will to help her go to sleep."
"I'll make sure to do that." Zombie Priestess acknowledged.
"And then after that, it's off to bed with the Archbishop at ten o'clock. Reveille at five sharp so that she and I can get to work on the actual things she came here all the way for," Vampire Sister said, finishing off the short outline of the evening's itinerary, "After tonight, the Goblins should be gone so the next two days should be a lot easier to deal with."
"Thank the Gods for that." Banshee Elf Archer muttered.
"Well, then! That's the plan." Vampire Sister declared, clapping her hands together enthusiastically, "Let's show our guest a good time, everyone!"
In the darkness of the forest, evil stirred.
An army of five hundred goblins watched the humans from a distance. Five hundred of the most vicious, most cruel, examples of the Goblin race had gathered here on this very night under the leadership of a Goblin Lord. The Lord, his champions, shamans, wolf riders, and a host of other Goblins had gathered here for one reason, and one reason alone. Conquest.
The Goblin Lord had already riled his army up with a speech, reminding his troops of the cruel barbarities they had suffered at the hands of the so-called Adventurers. How those Adventurers who plundered their nests, killed their brethren and chased Goblin-kind away from the lands that were rightfully theirs. Now, it would be the Goblins who would plunder the homes of the Adventurers, rape and kill their loved ones, and then turn the ruin of Human village into the beginnings of a new Goblin nation. A nation that would set the stage for the rise of the Goblin civilization.
This farm would be their beachhead. Bordered only be a perimeter fence, the Goblin scouts had determined that opposition was expected to be low. The farm typically only had three residents, an aged man and two young women, and there was hardly anything of note from recent arrivals, save that three were also women of childbearing age. Resistance was expected to be light.
The Goblins were exited. With only five, at most six, of those hated Adventurers guarding the farm, the invasion was expected to be short swift and victorious. They Goblins would kill and eat the males. They would then capture the women and use them to replace the spent breeding stock, which would in turn replace any of the infantry that had been felled by the battle. The farm animals, crops and plunder would then be used to assault the Human Town in the distance as well. Then, from there, the Goblin Nation would rise.
The plan was, in Goblin Lord's mind, flawless.
The scouts reported the fools were having dinner, only one armored man and a farm girl seemingly on watch as a guard from inside a barn. Light resistance had practically become nonresistant. The circumstances not have been better for Goblin Lord and his army.
Already Goblin Lord's mind was thinking about what tortures he would inflict on the men to sate his own sadistic urges. Already his mind was gleefully thinking about which of the women he would have first. Already his mouth salivated for the taste of the fine foods and drink that the farm had. As Goblin Lord, he would have first taste of all these as was his right… and he could not wait.
Adjusting his planned tactics to adapt to the fact there weren't any defenders, with a wave of his hand, Goblin Lord ordered the first wave of his shock troopers toward. They would blitz the foolish guard and his farm girl friend so quickly the fools having dinner wouldn't even notice.
Those Adventurers would never see the Goblins coming.
Back in the manor, four Adventurers and one Archbishop sat around the dining table, waiting for Vampire Sister and Uncle to finish preparing dinner. The sun had only just set, and the room was now illuminated by a series of magical crystals that hung from the ceiling that Zombie Priestess could have sworn provided almost as much luminosity as the sun itself.
Despite the stature of their guest and the sophistication of the dining room, the atmosphere was very relaxed. As Vampire Sister noted, Sword Maiden had been tired of the formality she had been treated with back in the regular duties. Instead, she had told the Adventurers that she wanted to spend some time among those she called friends, perhaps in a manner that would allow her to relive the days when she had just been a normal Adventurer instead of the legend she was now.
Considering the way the discussion was going, Sword Maiden hadn't lied to them one bit.
"…and then all of a sudden he let out a shriek not unlike that of a frightened schoolgirls' and fled from the Bushwhacker while his hands were covering his behind," Sword Maiden laughed as she recounted a particularly fun story to the Goblin Slayers, "The rest of us just stood there with open mouths as our regal leader ran around in a panic screaming for someone to save his behind!"
"That is an amusing picture you have painted, indeed!" Skeleton Lizardman agreed with a smile.
"Oh wow, now that is a mistake I haven't heard from a while," Banshee Elf Archer howled, an errant hand wiping the tears out of her ruby eyes, "I mean, if it was a rookie making that mistake, sure, but rushing in like that to settle a bet? Serves him right for being such a cocky bastard!"
"And to think the young lass he had been trying to impress had been watching him the whole time!" Hollow Dwarf thumbed a fist against his iron chest in a futile attempt to calm himself, for the idea of that particular Adventurer's machismo coming to bite him in the behind was just hilarious.
Yes, it was abundantly clear that Sword Maiden was quite keen to relive her younger days, if only for a short while, for this was very much a conversation only Adventurers could have. The lack of drink and alcohol, which would come with the food, aside, the sharing of embarrassing stories that had taken place over the many Adventurers was a hallmark of Guild banter.
Sword Maiden and the Silver ranked Goblin Slayers, all being experienced adventurers, had many stories to tell, and Zombie Priestess was indeed quite shocked at the kind of shenanigans that could get on in what would normally be a life or death situation. Granted her own experiences had hinted of such things so far, but there was something to be said about a brave swordsman running around with his hands on his behind while a hobbled Bushwhacker continued to take a swing at his rear.
There was just one thing about this story.
"Um, is it okay to gossip about our King like this?" Zombie Priestess said uncertainly, "I-I mean, this doesn't sound like his Majesty's finest moment. What if it gets out to the nobility?"
"Oh, it will be just fine," Sword Maiden replied reassuringly, "This is a private conversation among friends after all, so the risk of it becoming palace gossip is miniscule… unless you want it to get out?"
"N-NO! I would never!" Zombie Priestess' face became the color of scarlet as she shook her head rapidly, only to realized she was being teased when the other Adventurers burst out into laughter.
"Oh, young Lass, you worry far too much," Hollow Dwarf rumbled.
"You make this too easy for the Archbishop, you know that right?" Banshee Elf Archer grinned and wagged a finger at Zombie Priestess, "Really, young lady, you need to loosen up a little more. Adventuring can't be fun if you're so uptight all the time."
Zombie Priestess understood the virtue of Banshee Elf Archer's words, but understanding and doing were two different things. She was honestly amazed at how easily the other Goblin Slayers had become relaxed before the Archbishop, whose status in both society and religion eclipsed their own. Zombie Priestess also found herself intimidated by the fact there was also a gulf in their ranks, a mere Porcelain among a table of Silvers and Gold. She was the baby at the table and knew it.
"Well, that is it for my story about how the man who would be king was ambushed by a bushwhacker, had his behind beaten black and blue, and had trouble sitting down for the next few weeks," Sword Maiden summed up, "So, any interesting stories that you lot care to share?"
"Do we ever," Banshee Elf Archer slumped in her seat, eyes glazing over in a fashion that was perhaps a tad overdramatic, "The things Orcbolg gets up to means that 'interesting stories' are something were never have a shortage of!"
"Hm, with regards to your question, the most significant thing we have done as of late is that we have obviously taken on a new member," Skeleton Lizardman motioned to Zombie Priestess, "Milord Undead Master has also experimented with Revenants, quite successfully I might add."
"Oh, I heard about that. Many of the best theologists and academics in the Church and the Magician's academy were shocked that it was possible to create such a long-lasting Revenant that held a grudge against an entire race!" Sword Maiden brought a hand to her cheek, the expression on her face curious, "Tell me, have you remained in touch with the Lady Revenant and her party?"
"We have. In our last correspondence five days ago, we have learned that they have successfully reached the Sapphire ranks," Skeleton Lizardman informed her, "Although this was something the local Forest Town guild granted them without them first applying for it. It appears their successful completion of so many Goblin Slaying quests is causing them to be regarded as 'specialists' in much the same manner as Milord Undead Master once was. They have slain a lot of Goblins."
"Lady Revenant and Undead Master are keeping score and comparing numbers," Banshee Elf Archer groaned, "Seriously, I never thought I'd see the day when Goblin Slaying became a competition."
"Aye. Last I checked the Lady Revenant was ahead of us by ten Goblin Heads," Hollow Dwarf jested, "If those ladies keep going the way they are, we might have to start thinking of a new party name."
"Well, now. The thought that there are now other Adventurers out there who are doing just about the Goblin problem as much as your party does is good news indeed," Sword Maiden said delightfully, "With the Armies of order and most experienced Adventurers so focused on the larger threats, knowing at least two experienced parties are keeping the Frontier safe from the growing Goblin population is something I think we can all agree is a good thing."
"True enough. Although I am hesitant to say the joy that the Revenants seem to take in their work is entirely healthy, the Goblin population is growing faster than we alone can deal with. Having a second group covering the Forest Town region is proving extremely effective so far in keeping the villages there safe from Goblins." Skeleton Lizardman agreed.
"I see," Sword Maiden considered wondrously, "I wonder, then, if it would not be possible for Undead Master to create more-"
"No." Banshee Elf Archer interrupted, deadpan.
"But I do think a third such team would-"
"No." Banshee Elf Archer said again, this time more forcefully.
"Perhaps as a way to allow the Theologists a chance to study-"
"No, and that's final," Banshee Elf Archer put her proverbial foot down, "Look, we already have two teams, and their leaders are already comparing Goblin kill counts. We get three teams, all three of them will be doing that. We get four teams, and the next thing you know Orcbolg will be throwing up a leaderboard to keep score. My heart couldn't take that!"
"Your heart isn't beating though." Sword Maiden observed.
"Not the point! No Revenants! It's gone on the List!" Banshee Elf Archer declared crossed her arms in a 'No!' gesture to impress upon their visitor just how serious she was about this topic.
"Well, if you insist," Sword Maiden pouted, actually pouted, as she finally relented, "I still think it would be a good idea to have more people like you, though."
"Um, shouldn't you try to be more respectful to the Archbishop?" Zombie Priestess asked Banshee Elf Archer worriedly, only to have the Undead Elf meet her gaze with a look that conveyed just how uncompromising the Banshee was on this point.
"I give Orcbolg an inch on this, and the world will be drowning in Revenants by the end of the year." Banshee Elf Archer declared firmly.
"You mean the Goblin race will be drowning because of Revenants by the end of the year," Hollow Dwarf sniggered, "Oh, the look on your face when you learned the Revenants took a page out of Beard Cutter's book and flooded that Goblin infested mine… that was priceless!"
"Why you…!"
"Sorry it took so long, everyone. Dinner's ready!" Vampire sister called as she entered the dining room, a massive bowl of salad in her hand. Uncle was training behind her while carrying a wooden serving board with cold cuts and cheeses. Tucked under his arm, was a bottle of their wines.
Zombie Priestess could already tell that the meal, while simple, looked and smelled delicious!
Between the interesting conversation she had just been witness to, the good food that had appeared before her, and the lack of any sign of the attacking Goblins so far, it appeared things had not been as bad as any of them had feared. If the Goblins had attacked, perhaps Undead Master had managed to keep them far away from the manor. Perhaps the Goblins hadn't attacked at all! This meant that the Goblin Slayers and their guests could enjoy their meal in peace.
"Oh, Earth Mother, maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all!" Zombie Priestess prayed.
And then the noise explosions from outside reached her ears.
The Goblin wolf riders had been the ones to lead the charge.
Fifty Goblins on vicious mounts leapt over the fence and bounded across the open field towards that barn. Their mission was simple enough. They were to silence the lone watchman before he could raise the alarm and capture the woman that was with him so that she could be used for breeding.
Both mount and rider were hungry. The wolves, trained to feast on human flesh, could not wait to pry their meal out from under his armor. The riders too wanted the woman to sate them, but for far more nefarious reasons. Although every Goblin in their ranks knew that the Goblin Lord had laid down the law that said he had first right to the females, each member of the outriders believed that they would be able to take what they wanted first and them blame the others to avoid punishment.
Such was the mind of a Goblin who saw only nothing but selfishness.
Behind them, the first wave of the infantry followed. Two hundred Goblin surged over the border fence, trampling it to the dirt where it would do no more. They would never reach the barn before the riders, and instead began their own charge towards the manor that lay beyond the barn. Although the riders would silence the watchman, the Goblin leaders knew even the most inattentive humans would gather their senses if the Goblins dallied for too long.
Let the riders have that rickety old barn, that lone watchman and that one woman, these Goblins thought. In the manor, there was food, drink and riches to be had, as well as four other women. Instead of having to settle for whoever and whatever happened to be in that barn, these Goblins would have a chance to pick and choose. There was more pleasure and glory to be had by bring the first to seize the manor, and these Goblins knew it.
Two hundred and fifty Goblins, charging across the field, with evil in their hearts and murder and worse on their minds. The Goblins were already sure in their own victory over, their minds already thinking of the prize and not the battle itself. All of them greedy. All of them vile. All of them…
"Fools."
With that single utterance from where he watched the Goblins from inside the safety of the barn, Undead Master watched as the first of his traps activated.
The Goblin riders were unaware that their mounts had stepped on magical pressure plates hidden amongst the grass just as they crossed the halfway point between the outer perimeter and the barn where their 'so called prey' waited. These plates, now activated, were connected to the first two lines of buried boxes of dynamite he had laid out in the field months ago. Boxes that happened to be right in the path that the riders were racing to.
Undead Master watched with satisfaction as the ground erupted both below and in front of the Goblins and the Wolves, tossing both riders and mounts into the air in every direction while sending deadly wooden shrapnel into exposed flesh. It would seem his improvised land mine, an innovation he had heard Dwarf combat engineers beginning to experiment with, was a success.
Of the fifty Goblin riders, only half remained breathing. Even so, as both the Goblins and their Wolves unsteadily picked themselves off the ground, it was clear they were all shaken by the experience. Behind them the two hundred Goblins that had been charging on foot had also stopped, shocked to see the ground rise up and swallow their fellows.
They had no idea that Undead Master was not done yet.
"Slay the Goblins. Slay them all." Undead Master ordered softly, the quietness of his order belying the power those simple words carried as it drifted through the wind.
The two hundred goblins, only having just clambered over the border fence only to witness the vanguard be slaughtered, suddenly found the ground beneath them erupting as well. However, instead of being tossed into the air exploding dynamite, hundreds of pairs of bony, rotting hands burst out of the ground, clawing and grasping for the Goblins legs, feet and ankles. Many Goblins, terrified by the sudden attack, fond themselves frozen as the living dead emerged from the ground beneath them… corpses of Goblins long dead having emerged to feast upon the living.
Goblins too slow to react found themselves fighting off ravenous undead attempting to feast upon their brains. Goblins that had managed to gather their wits together fast enough, through perhaps a few lucky rolls, turned to flee back to the forest. The first wave, once so eager to be among ones to be the first into the breach, were not reduced to a shrieking, screaming rabbled as they attempted to withdraw from the Zombies and Skeletons that had emerged from right beneath their feet.
But Undead Master was not having any of that.
"Running will do you all no good," His sinister, almost ethereal voice whispered to the doomed Goblins, carrying on the wind, "You will all die here. There will be no escape."
With a single magical gesture, Undead Master activated the trigger on the section of the border fence that had been trampled upon. Magical sigils engraved upon the wooden fencing, now pressed to the ground by the earlier stampede, lit up as the spell stored within them activated. Within seconds, rows upon rows of three-meter-high thorny hedges grew from the fallen fence, creating a barbed wall that cut too the Goblin's escape.
Two hundred Goblins, plus twenty-five thoroughly shaken Goblin riders, and their wolf mounts, suddenly fund themselves trapped. The way out had been closed off, razor sharp thorns forming a wall between them and escape, leaving them trapped with an army of Goblin Corpses that were gnawing, clawing, biting… eating the living.
Many Goblins began to scream at the top of their lungs in utter terror, realizing that they had stepped into a waking nightmare that would only end in their deaths. The dead had come to feast upon the living, and nothing in the Goblin's wicked hearts could ever have prepared them this.
Undead Master could not have been any more satisfied by the way the opening act had turned out.
"Slay the Goblins," His demonic voice carried upon the wind, still capable of being heard even above terrified screams of two hundred Goblins, "Slay them all."
Although the salad, cold cuts and cheeses that was set out on the plate before her looked absolutely delicious, Zombie Priestess found herself unable to muster the appetite for any of it.
The reason for that was, unfortunately, quite simple.
"Oh, my word! What is that dreadful screaming?" Sword Maiden said, a hand in front of her mouth as she faced with window with concern look, "It sounds like there is a battle going on out there. And those explosions earlier. In fact, from the screams I'd say it sounds like someone is dying."
Sword Maiden paused as she listened a fair bit more.
"Actually, it sounds like a lot of someone's is dying." Sword Maiden observed.
The Undead Adventurers at the table looked at each other with growing looks of horror as they realized that Undead Master doing his level best to make life in the Goblin Army a horror show. This had not been part of the plan at all.
Another thunderous explosion reverberated in from the outside, making it crystal clear to the Goblin Slayers that their illustrious leader didn't care about 'The List' at all in his defense of the estate.
"I…I thought he was supposed to show restraint," Zombie Priestess whispered as she leaned in to Banshee Elf Archer without Sword Maiden overhearing it, "This isn't just one explosion. It sounds like he's going just using them liberally now. I thought you all said he would be using restraint because he wouldn't want to damage his sister's home!"
"That's what I thought too, but apparently not," Banshee Elf Archer cursed under her breath, "If Orcbolg does care about collateral damage, and none of us are out there supervising him, then…"
"We may have a problem." Hollow Dwarf concluded with a frown.
"What do we do? What do we do?" Zombie Priestess whimpered.
"Perhaps we could serve her Holiness more cheese and hope that the additional food distracts her?" Skeleton Lizardman suggested, "This is the best cheese in all the land, after all."
"I don't think that is going to work this time." Hollow Dwarf replied.
Watching the four Adventurers panicking while considering their options from across the table, Uncle could only slap his open palm to his forehead in exasperation at their antics.
"I can't believe you lot are Silver Ranked Adventurers," Uncle grimaced, "Between the kid and you lot, I am beginning to worry about the future of the Adventuring profession."
Another set of thunderous set of booms shook the windows and furniture. How Undead Master was causing all these was a mystery that Zombie Priestess had yet to puzzle out. What she did know, however, was that regardless of how Undead Master was doing this, she wanted him to stop.
"So, how are you enjoying our wine, your Grace?" Vampire Sister asked from where she sat, completely unperturbed by the disruptive noise from outside.
"The wine is quite nice. Better than I could have expected even. If this is the standard you are offering, then I have indeed come to the right place for the Supreme God's needs," Sword Maiden said as she swirled the wine in her glass, "Although… something outside sounds absolutely dreadful This is certainly making it difficult to enjoy our meal."
"Er… well, there is actually a… a storm!" Banshee Elf Archer said quickly, the look in her eyes making it clear to the other Adventurers she knew exactly how stupid she sounded at that very moment, "Yes, well, there's lighting and thunder causing all those booms, and the wind is making all that screaming racket. Honestly, the weather these days is so wild and uncontrolled."
"The weather? It that really the best you can come up with pointy ears?" Hollow Dwarf groaned.
"I too think this is folly, but as it has already been said we cannot go back on those words lest we rouse her suspicions. It is a good thing she does not have eyes to see out the window to learn of our fib, then," Skeleton Lizardman hissed quietly before raising his own voice to speak up, "Indeed, the onset of this storm is most concerning. Even so, pay it no mind, your Holiness, for this house is built most sturdy and we need not fear the rain not wind in here."
"Y-Yeah. That's a lot of downpour. Golly, it sure is good that we are all indoors!" Zombie Priestess chimed in, knowing full well that she was outright lying to a woman she knew for a fact used the Sense Lie miracle and hoping against hope that the whole thing wouldn't blow up in her face.
For a moment the four Adventurers watched Sword Maiden with bated breath as they hoped that their attempt to bluff the legendary heroine had worked. The dice had better fall in their favor…
"Well, then, if there is trouble outside it is a good thing we are indoors then," Sword Maiden held out her emptied glass towards Vampire Sister, "I would like more wine please."
"Certainly," Vampire Sister helpfully filled out the empty glass with another helping from the bottle, "Thank your time with this one. I'm just going to hop back into the kitchen to get the main course. It should be just about done in the oven."
"That would be delightful!" Sword Maiden agreed.
The four Adventurers slumped back into their seats in relief. Looks like the proverbial dice fell in their favor and Sword Maiden bought into the worst lie they had ever told.
"Oh, well. That was pretty bad," Zombie Priestess whispered softly to Banshee Elf Archer, "I can't believe you managed to fool her with that excuse though."
"Tell me about it," Banshee Elf Archer agreed tiredly, "How that worked, I will never know."
"But at least that's done with," Zombie Priestess said, taking this small victory for what it was, "And now that we're moving on to the main course and Sword Maiden will write off any noise to the weather, I guess this means the worst is over right?"
Banshee Elf Archer's head snapped over to Zombie Priestess, her face a rictus of terror.
"You did not just say that!" The veteran Adventurer gaped at her foolish junior.
And then the unmistakable, bestial roar of a terrifying ogre, that most certainly could not have been mistaken for the sound of thunder, ripped through the air.
"Oh my," Sword Maiden wondered, "That didn't sound like thunder."
Banshee Elf Archer's forehead slammed into the table in despair and frustration at her work becoming undone in a moment.
Had Undead Master been fighting any other foe, his adversary might have found it prudent to retreat. The ambush of the first wave by a hidden army and the unveiling of undetected devices would have told even the most foolish commander that the simple farm was anything but.
Battles involving a fortified position almost always gave the defender a disproportionate advantage. Considering that the intelligence on the farm was clearly mistaken, most military commanders would have instead initiated strategic withdrawal to preserve their forces. Any further engagement would have been only to rescue the trapped forces, before the army as a whole retreated.
However, Undead Master was fighting Goblins, a foe he knew intimately well. He knew what the Goblin Lord would do next.
Although the Goblin Lord had suffered through many trials, learning and adapting over the years to gain a level of intelligence his brethren could not hope to match, at the end of the day Goblin Lord was still a Goblin at heart. He had not abandoned the wickedness, selfishness and pride that he had possessed in his youth, for if he had he would have been here today leading this Army. If anything, those aspects of his personality had only grown as his strength, power and intelligence did.
As he grew stronger, he was able to perpetrate more wicked acts as fewer and fewer could stop him. As he gained in power, he was increasingly able to take what he wanted by force, and gradually came to feel he deserved more from the world for his achievements. As he became smarter, he recognized in himself things that set himself above the rabble, and for that he grew proud.
It was pride that influenced his next, costly actions.
Instead of being wary by the fact a hidden army had risen to challenge him, the Goblin Lord was instead incensed. He had been so certain of his own assessment of his victory, and to have that challenged was a wound to his pride he could not bear. Rather than a decision based on any sort of logical rationale, Goblin Lord's next orders were done because of wounded pride.
"Attack!" Goblin Lord order, sending another two hundred Goblins into the fray. His orders were clear. Run into the fray and crush the resistance they found there. It would be a costly decision.
The melee at the edge of the estate was pure chaos.
The goblins of the first wave had found themselves ambushed by a horde of shambling corpses that outnumbered them five to one… shambling corpses that were once Goblins, with the strength of rotting flesh and the miasma of death rolling off their undead forms.
To say these Goblins were terrified would be a huge disservice to the fear that now gripped their hearts. They had expected an easy victory, or failing that a bloody battle against hated Adventurers. The latter at least, was an adversary they could understand.
Instead the Goblins had found themselves faced with an enemy that brought them face to face with their own mortality. Goblin Zombies and Goblin Skeletons, beings who had been living Goblins just like them, were clawing, biting, ripping and tearing the would-be invaders to death. The fact that these monsters had emerged from right under their feet had also completely destroyed their battle line, leaving the entire field a disorganized mess of Goblins trying to flee and trying to fight.
Those that tried to flee found themselves cut off at every turn. Undead Master's minefields surrounded their position, and any Goblin that disentangled themselves from the melee and attempted to flee would be destroyed by an explosion. The thorn hedge wall prevented them from heading back to the woods, where the Goblins hoped their reinforcements would be coming. Many Goblins who tried to flee only found themselves dying tired.
Those that tried to fight found their adversaries unstoppable. Blows to any critical organ but the brain had no effect on the shambling monsters, who would absorb lethal wound after lethal wound without pausing. Arrows were less than useless, swords and spears became caked in blood and gore without taking down the enemies they had been used to fight, and even clubs found their handles snapping after repeated swings to crush the skulls of the Undead..
In contrast, while these monsters were without armaments, their teeth and hands did horrific things to the unarmed Goblin foot-soldiers. And the numbers.
Many Goblins who fancied themselves would-be-champions found themselves tackled to the ground the horde, then surrounded and ripped apart by Undead beings that hungered for the taste of flesh… their last sensations of this earthly ream the feeling of grasping hands, blooded teeth feasting on their entrails, and the terror that griped their hearts as it stopped beating.
Many Goblins died screaming in fear, certain that they had mistaken hell for what they had assumed was a simple farm.
"Slay the Goblins. Slay them all." Had been Undead Master's orders.
It was an order that his Undead Minions would carry out to the letter.
But then for the beleaguered Goblins, a ray of hope! A cast fireball slammed into a portion of the hedge wall, burning it to cinders and opening a gap to which reinforcements surged. Two hundred more goblins, this time their line unbroken, raced through the opening to battle the Undead Army. With these reinforcements were the Goblin's greatest Champions and wisest Shamans, who unleashed their great strength and powerful spells on the Undead with great efficacy.
The surviving goblins of the first wave, barely numbering two dozen after the carnage, cheered in elation as they saw their follows. They had been saved! This would be a turning point in the battle, the Goblins had been sure. With their Champions and Shamans and a fresh, unbroken battle line, not even the horde of Undead could stand against the power of the Goblin race.
With this, they could win!
"It is time," Undead Master's voice reverberated through the air, "Go. Slay the Goblins."
The barn doors slammed open, and from within it emerged a score more Undead. However, unlike the shambling horde that had been doing battle until now, these Undead were taller, bulkier and clad head to toe in full plate armor carrying a great sword and a tower shield in each hand.
These were Goblin Champions that Undead Master had slain in his career, and had now been turned to Skeleton Champions to do his bidding. Each one a match for the living Goblin Champions that had taken to the field. Each one a magical automation driven only to follow their master's command.
And behind this already fearsome force stepped out was a towering beast that even these Champions paled in comparison to. It was once said, that a knight with a redoubtable shield was made one with his own escutcheon. It was also said that a magical master was utterly destroyed by magic greater than he could ever hope to wield. The being that was responsible for these incidents was a monster that was feared by even the most experienced Adventurers. A general of the Dark Lord who was so feared, that many dreaded to ever encounter him in battle.
This being, having finally been bested by a necromancer most powerful, now served a new Master. A Master, who had an order for him to follow.
"Go. Slay the Goblins… Big… Thing." Undead Master declared, having forgotten the name of his General. He was sure it wasn't a Goblin, but for the life of him could never remember what it was.
The Undead Ogre, the order from its master received, let out a thunderous roar, one that tore through the air and declared this Champion amongst Champions had joined the battle, before it charged forwarded at the head of Undead Master's own reinforcements.
And with that, the bloody battle grew ever more vicious.
"My, oh my, to think that such vicious animals from the forest come out to prowl the farm this often," Sword Maiden said as she set the cutlery down after having polished off the last bits of her delicious black-forest cake, "That is worrying news indeed. Perhaps you should consider hiring more guards to protect your home, Madam."
"I wouldn't worry too much about that," Vampire Sister waved her hand dismissively, "We don't actually get annoyances like the ones outside tonight all that often. Besides, most of the time anything dangerous that wanders onto the premises, I just deal with it myself."
"Oh, yes. You are a Vampire, aren't you? You're such a welcoming host that I briefly forgot about that," Sword Maiden responded flatteringly, "Well, that being the case, I can see how a few nasty animals from the forest wouldn't pose a threat to you and yours."
"Indeed. More wine, your Holiness?" Vampire Sister offered.
"Gladly." Sword Maiden replied with a smile.
Zombie Priestess and the three Adventurers watched the exchange in a tense silence that was slowly being replaced with the sensation of release. As one, all four Undead Adventurers let out sighs of relief that Sword Maiden had, once again, decided to focus on wine and good company instead of , what was happening outside.
"I can't believe that worked." Hollow Dwarf spoke, being the first of the group to recover.
"Agreed. Considering this was the second time Milady Elf was put on the spot, I am surprised that her improvisation worked out so well." Skeleton Lizardman agreed in a whisper.
Banshee Elf Archer turned to Zombie Priestess with a cross expression on her features.
"Young lady, when this is all over, you and I are going to have a long talk about tempting the dice gods in the middle of the Adventure." Banshee Elf Archer whispered sternly.
"Yep. I am going to have to agree with you there," Uncle groused, "I'm no Adventurer, and even I knew she was tempting fate."
Zombie Priestess could only shrink in on herself in shame, wondering why her party was holding her accountable for something she clearly had nothing to do with. Another roar echoed through the night from the outside. It would seem that the battle was still ongoing.
"Those animals are very noisy, aren't they?" Sword Maiden frowned, drawing the Adventurer's attention back to their guest.
"Hm, maybe I should have invested in more soundproof windows if the noise is annoying you so much. I am so sorry for this oversight." Vampire Sister apologized with a polite tilt of her head.
"Oh, don't mind that. It's not your fault that there's trouble outside," Sword Maiden clapped her hands together in joy, "Enough about that. I am so grateful that you all have done so much for me so far. Good food, exquisite wine, fantastic company, homely atmosphere… I can almost imagine that this is what it would be like to have a normal family dinner with your family! Why, if it wasn't for the fact I had to head back to the Water Town, I would love to have dinners like this every day."
"Guh, she's so saccharine. I feel a little unsettled just looking at her," Banshee Elf Archer mumbled, "From the sound of her voice, I can almost believe she wants to be a part of this family."
"Is it acceptable to have a family dinner while there is a massacre going on outside?" Zombie Priestess mumbled, shooting concerned glances out the window to where she knew the battle was still raging. "Oh, I probably shouldn't ask that question now, shouldn't I?"
As if to answer her question, yet another explosion reverberated through the air. Alas.
"No, you should not." Banshee Elf Archer stated bluntly shaking her head the entire time.
Rookies. Sheesh.
A/N – In case everyone was worried about pacing, this Adventure is expected to go on for one more chapter. Thanks for reading!