With course plotted to Shadow, there was very little to do other than wait. They made a quick stop for maintenance and refueling before continuing on their way. Mal paced the ship restlessly during the days when there was nothing else to be done, mulling things over in his mind.

At night, the crew played games, either running around in the cargo or lazing around over cards in the galley after supper. No one knew what would be in store for them after Shadow, and everyone rather enjoyed this free time before the unknown.

Jayne went over another shooting lesson with River one day, getting all his guns out in the galley and testing her knowledge, having her practice loading and unloading his various weapons, over and over again, until he was satisfied with her speed.

"You remember everything now, you hear?" Jayne reminded her yet again. "Whatever plan that hun dun has for ya, it'll involve some kind of shootin' and that's a fact." She nodded and Jayne, satisfied with that, declared it time for a break, and poured them both a shot of whiskey.

"Don't tell your brother," He said as he clinked his glass to hers.

Zoe and River sparred together a couple of times as well. The exercise was good, although Zoe was fast to admit she'd be no match for River in a real fight. River easily anticipated Zoe's moves and was gentle during their workouts so as not to harm. It was a good exercise in control for her.

Inara resumed her place easily on the ship also, and it was in some ways like she had never been away. Inara, Kaylee and River sat together often over the few days, going over the cortex and looking at wedding dresses. Kaylee felt bad focusing on such things, but River insisted, enjoying the time with her soon to be sister in law and the three giggled together as the shooed Simon away every time he came close to them.

Mal and River stole glances at each other during the days. They maintained their easy camaraderie in front of everyone, but the smoldering looks between them when no one was paying attention betrayed the depth of their feelings.

River herself had been hard at work. She had taken pains to make her own preparations for Shadow, unbeknownst to everyone. She had snuck into the infirmary one night and taken a few supplies and arranging things so he wouldn't miss anything in his methodical weekly inventory.

The afternoon before they were due to reach Shadow, River also sought out Inara, sword in hand.

"Hi Honey, what are you doing here?" Inara said fondly, letting River into her shuttle. She looked at the sword in River's hand questioningly.

"Jayne says knowing the theory of using a weapon isn't the same as holding it in your hand and wielding it." River replied. "I have plenty of theory of the sword in my mind, but no experience. I was hoping you could teach me."

"You're listening to Jayne's advice?" Inara smiled, making a gentle joke, but River was solemn.

"Jayne is wise in his own way. And he's right in this. He's focusing on guns, but it's this I need to know how to use. And Jayne can't help with that. You can." She held the sword up to Inara. Inara nodded.

"How did you know I could help you?" Inara knew River had been around when she had taught Mal some sword skills back on Persephone, but she had been still very ill.

"He told me," River said simply. "He said you're well trained. Can you do this for me?" Inara nodded. She went into one of her trunks and pulled out two practice swords.

"No need for that one, though," She replied. "I'd feel better practicing with dull blades that can't harm, especially since you've never done this before, outside of your head that is." Inara began clearing space in her shuttle, knowing intuitively that River would want to keep this a secret between them and therefore the cargo hold was not an option. River helped her, piling up her things on the bed so they'd have room to maneuver."

Inara wasn't at all surprised to see what a natural River was. Her moves were very textbook at first, and Inara easily blocked her, but River quickly gained ground until they were evenly matched. It went on a spell, with Inara stopping to give pointers once and a while. River listened to her suggestions respectfully and then easily put them into practice. Her ability to foresee Inara's defenses and counter attacks also worked greatly to her advantage as she tested out different movements and strategies.

After about forty-five minutes, Inara put her hand up in peace.

"I honestly think I've taught you everything I can," She laughed when River had easily bested her a third time. She put down her sword and went to pour them both a glass of water. "Mal's the worst student I ever had, and you are without doubt the best." They were silent a moment, satiating their thirst and catching their breath.

"You get a chance to read the letter?" Inara ventured after a few minutes. She knew that of course River would have read it, but was just trying to politely bring it up. She watched as River nodded, but didn't elaborate.

"And?" She prompted gently. "Did you show it to Mal?"

"No," River answered softly. She turned to Inara. "He wouldn't keep the meeting tomorrow if he knew what it said."

"Don't you trust him?" Inara asked, concerned. "Mal has your best interest at heart River, he'll do right by you, and if he knows what's going on, he can only help you. And if he thinks you shouldn't go, maybe that's good judgement."

"I know that," River replied. "He'll do anything for me. But it will make him blind in this. He can't be involved. And we have to be there tomorrow." She spoke with a strength of conviction that startled Inara. She looked at River with new interest. River glanced at her quickly. "I can't explain it to you either."

"No, of course," Inara didn't press. Though she couldn't help her curiosity.

"Thank you, Inara," River said, standing up. She finished her glass of water. "You were the only one who could help me with this and you did without question."

Inara smiled, her thoughts quieting down as she pulled River in for a hug. "Of course, sweetheart," She smiled warmly. "Please come back if you need anything else." River smiled.

When River left, Inara reflected on their conversation. River had been so sure of Mal. It wasn't so strange, they were very close and of course as a reader, she knew them all well, probably better than they realized. But there was something in the way River spoke of Mal in particular that Inara recognized. She thought back to Mal and how different he'd seemed since she had come back. She started to realize that Mal wasn't the only one on Serenity who seemed different, and her Companion training told her that it wasn't a coincidence.

xxxx

That night after supper, Mal waited for Simon and River to finish up with the dishes, as it was their turn. Everyone else played cards.

When they finished cleaning, Mal cleared his throat.

"Don't have much to say tonight in regards to tomorrow." He said to his crew. "As you know, tomorrow's just about meetin' to hear the plan. I'm sure tomorrow night there'll be a lot more in terms of discussion to be had and decisions to be made." Everyone nodded.

"Just wanted to outline the way it'll look tomorrow," Mal explained. Zoe, Jayne, Simon, you'll be coming down with River and I planetside."

"Me?" Simon asked, puzzled. As he sat down at the table, Kaylee reached automatically for his hand.

Mal nodded, all business.

"River conjures there's good reason for you to be here, and that's good enough for me." Simon nodded, glancing at River. She offered him a small smile. Simon wondered if she was just including him because he'd feel better, and he smiled back. Habit meant he'd feel more at ease watching over his sister, and he was glad, but he was surprised Mal was allowing it.

"We'll be takin' the mule down to the coordinates. Kaylee and Inara will stay on board a ways out. Kaylee, you'll keep the engine hot and ready for a swift take off. Not sayin' we'll be needing it, but it's always a good plan, way things tend to turn out for us. Inara, you be ready at the helm. I know you don't fly Serenity, but you have enough pilotin' skills to get us up if we need you. A Firefly shuttle ain't all that different from the Firefly itself."

Inara nodded, feeling a bit nervous to be assigned to Serenity's helm, but figured she'd stop by the bridge tonight and take a peek at the controls.

"That's about it, then," Mal concluded. "Don't be staying up too late everyone, don't know what exactly we'll face tomorrow and beyond, but might as well have a good night's sleep before we do."

Everyone nodded and eventually went back to their card game, dealing in Simon and River.

xxxx

River went through her bunk a few hours later, making sure she had everything for tomorrow. Satisfied that she did, she slid everything under her bed and then sat down to read through the letter the Operative had written her. She already knew it word for word, but the act of reading it gave her comfort. The hatch to her bunk opened suddenly and she stashed the letter away and out of sight.

Expecting to see Simon or Kaylee, River was surprised to see Mal's boots coming down the ladder.

"What are you doing here?" She asked. He grinned as he came over and sat next to her, leaning in for a thorough kiss.

"Got tired of waitin' for you." He said after he broke off. "Nervous about tomorrow?"

"No," She said honestly. She could tell he was reassured by her certainty. "Just want to get it over with." Mal nodded.

"I understand that." He mused. They sat in companionable silence for a while. Mal looked around her bunk. He'd never really spent much time in here, it was always River coming to him. River looked with him, seeing her room through his eyes. She had a few pictures of the crew up, some ballet slippers that Kaylee had bought for her two birthdays ago. She never wore them, preferring to dance barefoot, but she loved looking at them. They reminded her of being a girl, when ballet classes were the favorite part of her day. Then just her closet of clothes. She didn't have a lot of personal touches. Having come to Serenity with nothing, she'd amassed surprisingly little in the way of possessions over the last three years.

"What's that?" Mal asked, gesturing at the paper posted on her wall by her bed.

"Canticles," River responded. Seeing Mal's puzzlement, she explained, "It's from Shepherd Book's bible. I ripped out the parts that didn't make any sense out of it for him, which turned out to be quite a lot, actually. Thought at the time I was doing him a favour." Mal chuckled and River smiled, remembering the gentle shepherd, the man with so many secrets, but with a heart full of love. "I returned them to him but I kept one." She had wondered if the Shepherd had ever noticed, but if he did in life, he'd never said anything about it.

"Why did you keep it?" Mal asked. River shrugged.

"I thought it was beautiful. It's from the Song of Solomon. 'The Man describes his Lover's beauty.' " She recited some of the lines from memory.

"How beautiful you are, my darling! Oh, how beautiful!
How much more pleasing is your love than wine,
and the fragrance of your perfume more than any spice!
Your lips drop sweetness as the honeycomb, my bride;

milk and honey are under your tongue...
You are a garden locked up, my sister, my bride;
you are a spring enclosed, a sealed fountain.
You are a garden fountain,
a well of flowing water streaming down from Lebanon."

"That's from the bible?" Mal asked skeptically, when she'd finished. You know, the last woman who tried to pass off poetry for Bible ended up knocking me out and tryin' to steal my boat. But I've wizened up in my old age." He warned. River giggled, remembering Saffron.

"No, it really is," She insisted. She pulled the page off the wall and handed it to him as proof. He skimmed over the words and whistled.

"Some of this is downright racy. Those weren't verses read in any church my Momma used to take me!" He laughed. River smiled.

"It's supposed to be a metaphor for God's Love for us." Mal raised his eyebrows and River grinned knowingly. "Prudish old priests, making excuses. Shepherd Book knew better." River assured him.

"I'm sure he did," Mal replied. He looked over at her closet, continuing his curious examination of her things.

"You still have the dress!" He exclaimed. She followed his eyes and realized he was looking at the green dress that she'd worn on the job in Paquin. She blushed.

"Inara gave it to me, after." She explained. "She said it suited me and I should have it."

"It did," Mal smiled, his thoughts drifting back to the events of that night, of having her in his arms while she wore that dress. Mal slid his hand under her sweater and ran his hands up and down her back. "You were beautiful in it. You're always beautiful, Darlin' but that dress was a sight to see." River smiled.

"I wish I had cause to wear it again," She said.

"Kaylee and Simon's wedding," Mal suggested. "That'll be coming up in a few months." They planned to get married on Harvest, Kaylee's home. Simon was terrified as he'd never met Kaylee's family, other than over the cortex. Kaylee was over the moon to celebrate with her family and crew together.

"Maybe then," River agreed, looking down, not telling him what she knew. That she wouldn't be there to stand with Simon that day. Mal didn't notice however. He had gotten up and was fingering the green fabric. He turned around to face her.

"Can I stay in here tonight?" He asked. She smiled and nodded.

They lay down on the bed, taking their time undressing each other. Their touches started out unhurried, leisurely. Though it didn't take long for the familiar desire to start flaring up.

"Is this normal, Mal? This, between us?" River whispered as Mal ran kisses down her chest, moving decidedly lower. He looked up at her question. His eyes were dark as he regarded her.

"Desire's always there Darlin,' we ain't exactly reinventin' the wheel here," Mal grinned running his tongue in circles over her abdomen, enjoying her responsive shivers. River nodded, she knew that. She'd felt desire before Mal, with the few partners she'd had. But not like this. Her question still hung between them, unanswered.

She purred with satisfaction as his mouth wandered lower, as he buried his tongue into the centre of her. Her hands reached out on either side of her, one grabbing onto the pillow, the other bracing on the wall. He was merciless as he found her clit and worried it with his tongue and teeth. She bit down on her lip hard to keep from crying out, and her hips pushed herself towards his mouth. She felt his fingers enter her as he tasted her, over and over. It was sensory overload.

"Oh, my pretty, pretty Albatross," Mal murmured against her. "I so love to see you like this, what I can do to you, what only I can do to you."

"Only you," She agreed with a moan. Her hands moved to his hair and she ran her fingers through it, making fists in it. "Mal, only you, only you."

He groaned at her words, his fingers and tongue moving faster in rhythm with each other.

She came suddenly and hard, pulsating against him, around his fingers. He watched her hungrily as she came undone.

"Beautiful River," He whispered over and over again as she rode her orgasm.

She threw her head back on the pillow and felt him slide up her body to lay next to her. When she opened her eyes again, he was looking down at her intently.

"What?" She asked, smiling.

Mal brushed her hair back from her face and ran his fingers down through the ends, looking into her eyes. "It's true what I said before, desire's always there between two people. And yet..." He was thoughtful.

"It is different, to answer your question from before. I can't say what it is exactly, but I haven't felt this with another woman before you. Not this depth of... wanting. Even all that time ago, on Paquin, I knew it was different somehow." He blushed at the admission. "This that's between us, it's as new to me as it is to you.'"

River nodded. She had suspected he would say something like that, because it was exactly how she felt. She gazed at him, naked before her and knew she'd never want anything in her life the way she wanted Mal. This man who had believed in her, had saved her. This man who had shown her pleasure she couldn't have ever imagined, even as a reader. And she so desperately wanted to return the favour...

It was her turn. She shimmied down his body and rubbed her cheek against his cock, enjoying his sharp intake of breath as she did and feeling him become harder beneath her. His hand fell to her head, and he threaded his fingers into her hair like she had done minutes before, as she took him into her mouth. She glanced up at him and saw him looking intently at her, his lips parted and his eyes smoldering.

"I want to eat you alive," She whispered with a wicked grin on her face. Mal shuddered.

"Guess it goes both ways, little one," He replied with a satisfied groan, his eyes closing tightly as she began moving up and down on him, setting a slow torturous rhythm. She ran her tongue over him, exploring, sucking, savouring the texture of him. She felt the way his hips bucked and his hands tightened in her hair. She continued like that, undoing him slowly with each lick of her tongue, knowing before even he did what he wanted and needed.

She brought him until he was at the precipice and then suddenly halted, looking up at him smugly. He looked down at her desperately.

"Witch," He whispered, but there was no anger in his voice, only lust. His hands went down to her hips and pulled her up him.

"Are you still ready for me, Darlin'?" He said huskily, his fingers going to her centre and groaning at how wet she was.

"Always," she said, humming with pleasure.

As he entered her, love in his eyes, River whispered another line from Shepherd Book's bible.

"Awake, O north wind; and come, thou south; blow upon my garden, that the spices thereof may flow out. Let my beloved come into his garden, and eat his pleasant fruits."

xxxx

"It'll never be enough, River," Mal whispered into her neck later that night, as they were drifting off to sleep. "No matter many times I have you, here like this, it will never be enough."