07.16.11

MANUALS AND THE THIRD DAY

Today was pretty quiet. It's been raining, so I mostly stayed inside with dad. It was actually kind of nice, we haven't been able to spend a day together in a few weeks now. I won't bore you with the details since there really isn't much to tell, so let's just get back to the story.

Now, I'm sure many of you who read the title of this post are probably wondering why I'm skipping to the third day of my little adventure. The answer is very simple: I spent the rest of the first day and all of the second day carefully reading all the user manuals and highlighting any and all important looking information (read: about two thirds of each one).

Most of them were just technical talk about their mechanics and what not, here are some of the more important details I remember:

The Princely Model (AKA Tamaki) was the most emotional and as such, may blame himself for anything that upsets me regardless of whether or not he had anything to do with it. He also sings and plays piano (he actually tried to run out and buy one when I told him I didn't own a piano).

The Cool Model (Kyoya) is extremely computer savvy (that explained a lot) and feels most comfortable when using one. Exactly what he would do with it, the manual didn't say, so part of me felt a little nervous when I saw him on some website I'd never heard of, typing at superhuman speed and smirking evilly.

The Mischievous Types (Hikaru and Kaoru)- well, first of all, they only came with one manual, something that probably shouldn't have surprised me. Anyway, they're programmed to do everything together. Everything. Walking, talking, sitting, standing, and anything else you can think of. Apparently, they were meant to fulfill a twin threesome fantasy. The manual even came with pictures and instructions in case the owner didn't know how to proceed. Moving on…

The Wild Type was actually programmed not to say more than fifty words every 24 hours. In fact, his manual was much shorter than all the rest and barely said anything about his personality. It's like he was meant to just stand around and be handsome when not engaging in sex.

Finally, the Loli-Shota. I was relieved to discover that Tamaki was telling the truth and the Loli-Shota was not meant for sex. He came with a stuffed bunny and apparently had a thing for elaborate cakes, which struck me as odd considering none of them eat.

There was a lot more, but these are the only things I haven't told you about already that are important for you to know.

While I was doing this reading, the robots were trying to figure out how to fix the hole in my roof and the broken window. We had a close call with my landlady an hour after the hole was made. Someone next door heard the yelling and thought I was in trouble or something. Luck was on my side that day, the landlady was sick with a bad cold and didn't even ask to come inside for fear of me catching it. I told her that I'd just put the TV on too loud and she believed it, but did warn me not to let it happen again.

Of course, it would only be a matter of time until someone noticed that hole. It was completely visible when one stood a distance away from the building and I was amazed no one found it yet. I knew that my luck wouldn't last forever and so on the third morning, after I'd woken the six of them up, I gathered them in the living room to make my announcement.

"Okay everyone," I felt like a teacher giving a lecture, what with the upright way they were sitting and their rapt attentiveness. "There's a store two blocks away where I can buy supplies to fix the roof, the window can wait. I'm going to be gone for an hour at most, so-"

"Wait, are you asking us to stay here?" the twins cut in.

I was about to respond, but Tamaki was a lot quicker. In a flash, he was off the couch and inches away from me with a frantic look on his face.

"Haruhi, darling, you can leave us here!" he cried. "What if something happens to you? WE WON'T BE THERE TO PROTECT YOU!"

"Please don't yell in my face," I said in a completely flat tone that sent him right back to that corner he'd grown so fond of.

"While Tamaki may be approaching this situation foolishly," Kyoya piped up. "I believe he does have a point. Part of our programming is to keep you safe and happy. In this situation, the emphasis goes on safe. Perhaps one of us should accompany you?"

I didn't know what to make of that. In the last two days, I'd come to the conclusion that Kyoya was the most rational out of all the robots and Tamaki the most moronic. If Kyoya was in agreement with Tamaki, it meant either the idiot was making sense, or Kyoya's programming was currently overriding his higher brain functions.

For my sanity's sake, I settled for the latter explanation.

Truthfully, I hadn't actually planned to let them out of the house at all. The odds of meeting up with someone I knew weren't incredibly high, but I didn't want to take any chances. My parents moved into this building several years before I was born and since then, only a few people ever moved in or out. We were all pretty friendly with each other, and normally I considered this a good thing. In this situation though, it definitely wasn't.

If anyone in my building found out that even ONE guy was suddenly living with me, they'd call my dad immediately and then he'd practically run back home to, 'rescue me from that potential rapist hooligan' (his exact words when he misinterpreted a study session between me and a male classmate as a date the year before). Then I'd have to explain the whole story to him and, assuming the news didn't give him a heart attack, he'd probably explode (I would say figuratively speaking, but I simply cannot guarantee that).

The only problem was getting them to agree to staying indoors at all times. Since they were apparently so 'devoted' to me, I doubted it would be a problem. As robots, they shouldn't have the free will necessary to disobey me, thinking they could was giving them too much credit.

You can sense all this fate tempting I'm doing, can't you?

As Kyoya spoke, they all looked at me expectantly. Even Tamaki poked his head out of the corner to hear my response. I sighed in annoyance.

"Look, I understand and appreciate your concern, but I don't need an escort. I've lived here my entire life and I've walked the two blocks and beyond numerous times, so I-"

"But what if something goes wrong?" The twins interrupted me.

"They're right, Haruhi!" Tamaki cried as he ran at me again. "What if you get attacked by thugs, or kidnappers or wild animals?"

I raised an eyebrow. "I highly doubt there'll be any wild animals in the middle of town."

I moved away from him and headed to the door, grabbing my wallet off the side table as I did so.

"Just don't worry, I'll only be an hour," I told them. "Stay here until then, I promise I'll be back, okay?"

Looking at them (specifically Tamaki, Hunny and the Twins), I could tell they still weren't happy about me leaving them behind, but I simply couldn't let that concern me. I shut and locked the door and walked down the steps to the ground floor were I started up the street to the hardware store. I resisted the urge to look back at the hole until I was safely around the corner and could continue my walk in relative peace. It surprised me how calm I felt at that moment, considering what awaited me back home.

Dealing with the store clerk wound up being easier than I'd expected. I wasn't really sure how to explain why I needed wood, plaster and the like, but the guy must have been the most mellow person alive, or else smoking something. He nodded and went along with everything I said, writing it down diligently and recommending a particular type of paint to use that would supposedly make the outline of the hole almost invisible.

The only problem was that most of the supplies weren't currently in stock, but he promised to order them and assured me they'd arrive in two to three days. Which meant two to three more days of praying that no one looked at the roof from far away. But I was in no position to complain and simply nodded, gave him my name and phone number and saw myself out.

On the way home, I mentally calculated the costs of all the equipment in regards to my monthly spending money. Dad usually sent enough to buy groceries and a little extra in case I wanted to get something for myself (read: buy some cute, girly outfits). Needless to say, I hadn't spent a yen of that money, so the amount I'd accumulated as well as a bit of the food money would have to go towards the supplies.

I made a stop at the grocery store on my way back. I'd been running out of milk and figured while I was out, I'd pick up a carton. While in the store, I encountered one of those familiar faces I'd been trying to avoid.

"Oh, Haruhi!"

I froze in place and barely managed to turn my head. It was Mrs. Fukuda, she and her family were relatively new in the apartment building, having moved in only two years previously. Her son, Hiro, was a total brat, you'll hear more about him later. But I digress.

I forced myself to smile at her. If she had seen the hole, I didn't want to give her another reason to think something was wrong.

"Good morning, Mrs. Fukuda, how are you today?"

She smiled pleasantly, which alleviated some of my worry.

"I'm just fine! Are you enjoying your summer so far?"

I felt like laughing in her face.

"Yes, I am. And I'm sure Hiro-kun is as well?"

"Oh yes, I haven't seen him this active since his birthday last month."

Okay, I'll spare you from the rest of the details, since the conversation basically continued like this for several minutes until I politely excused myself and headed to the checkout line.

The walk home was just as peaceful as the walk to the store. The only difference was that I had no choice but to look at the hole this time. It honestly wasn't that bad since the roof was flat, but you could still see the splintered wood sticking out at an awkward angle. I gave a sigh and looked away from the mess. No need to draw attention to it myself.

I climbed the steps at a steady pace, fully expecting to open the door and find all six of my unwanted guests waiting for me with all the artificial smiles and infatuation for me that I'd been dealing with for two days now. I got out my key, unlocked the door and opened it.

Want to take a wild guess at what I saw?

Wait, I should rephrase that.

Want to take a wild guess at what I didn't see?

That's right, the robots were gone. All of them.

The first thing I did was stand in the doorway, burning a hole through the couch with my eyes as if expecting them to appear out of thin air. Next, I searched the bedrooms, the kitchen, the bathroom, and even the closet. Nothing, nothing, nothing, and even more NOTHING. Finally, I stood rigid in the living room, my head spinning as I tried in vain to figure out what was going on.

Eventually, my wandering eyes found the kitchen clock. It read 12:15 pm.

It suddenly dawned on me just what had happened, and I was torn between being furious with them or with myself.

I had told them I'd be gone an hour and to wait here until then. If I remember correctly, I left the house at 11:05. Which means I arrived back ten minutes later than I'd said I would. Sometime in the last ten minutes, they must have decided I was in danger of thugs/kidnappers/wild animals and gone to look for me.

Which meant that six clueless, danger sense lacking and probably very expensive robots in my unwitting possession were currently wandering the streets on their own.

Now, I'm not one for cursing. I rarely ever do it unless I have sufficient cause. At this moment, I feel I had that and much, much more. I really don't think I could have given a more appropriate response to this little development.

"…fuck."

Posted by Haruhi at 9:49 pm5 comments