Twenty Years Later- Bunbunmaru Spirit News archives
Confused youkai insists he isn't youkai!
Denial. We've all been there, haven't we? For example, I once thought that perhaps I'm not the greatest reporter ever to grace the tengu community, however, with a little convincing and demonstration of undeniable evidence, I came to accept this revelation. However, the youkai I came across today was so far into denial that he kept insisting that he wasn't a youkai at all.
He was a strange, fire-like being, blue in colour and not smoking in the slightest, and while his upper body was chiselled like every teenager's adonis of their dreams, his lower body was... just a collection of hazy, flame-like things that thinned out into a tail. While I guess he could have been a ghost, he seemed more like a fire youkai to me. Anyhow, I was rather interested by him, that's why I started the discussion, however, it ended up becoming about his denial.
Aya: Hello there! I haven't seen you around here before. Let me introduce myself. I am Aya Shameimaru, newspaper reporter for the Bunbunmaru Spirit News. Who are you?
Si'yahe: I name myself Si'yahe, because I am travelling the realms of this universe. I am one of the Al-jinn of the voids between universes.
Aya: Ooooh, fancy, so what type of youkai are you? Have you been working out? Oh, that accent of yours is pretty cool!
Si'yahe: I already said. I am an Al-jinni of the voids between...
Aya: So... Al-jinni... is that a type of youkai, or is it a ghost?
Si'yahe: What is this 'youkai' you speak of?
Aya: Well, I'm a youkai, for one. You know, supernatural monsters that terrorise humans, eat goats, write newspapers, you know?
Si'yahe: I have been travelling this planet, and I am sure that humans write newspapers... you look rather like a human, not a monster.
Aya: (winks) You haven't seen me whip up a tornado in a flash! (summons a huge tornado on top of Si'yahe, and he begins to twist and become part of the tornado)
Si'yahe: Agh! What are you doing?
Aya: Oh, that's funny. (stops the tornado) Ghosts are incorporeal, and aren't affected by tornadoes, and youkai get caught up, but they don't get all whipped up like that...
Si'yahe: I am not one of these youkai! I told you! I am an Al-jinni!
Aya: Hm, maybe it's that accent of yours. Al-jinni must be the way you tourists from the void say youkai.
Si'yahe: What? Al-jinni and youkai do not even sound similar!
Aya: Yes they do. See, if I just talk like you... (puts on a voice) Al-jinni. (returns to normal) Now, I'll say the same word. Youkai.
Si'yahe: How did... how did you twist the words like that?
Aya: I listen to the word of the wind, it'd be a little disappointing if I wasn't a linguistic genius.
Si'yahe: Anyway, I have never heard of these 'youkai'. They don't seem to exist in many places on this... earth. You're the first one I've met.
Aya: Huh? Did all the Al-jinni in your void home die or something? (hugs him) Oh, poor Si'yahe, don't worry, I'll take you in, you poor last of your kind...
Si'yahe: S-stop rubbing my chest, please.
Aya: I'm not rubbing anything. Anyway, you feel all... dubiously corporeal and stuff. Are you a ghost or a youkai, you're really weirding me out.
Si'yahe: I told you, I'm an Al-jinni! Wait, wait, wait, I'm weirding you out?
Aya: Yeah, you and your weird, slightly corporeal chest.
Si'yahe: Anyway, please can you explain what one of these 'youkai' are?
Aya: Well, if you come with me, I can show you a whole bunch of them! Hey, you could become part of the mountain clan of tengu! You'll finally have other people of your sort to talk to!
Si'yahe: I have plenty of Al-jinn waiting for me in the void, though thank you for the offer.
Aya: But I thought you said that I was the first youkai you had met...
Si'yahe: I told you, I am not one of these youkai, I'm a...
Aya: ...oh, I get it. You're hitting on me.
Si'yahe: ...hitting on you? What does that mean?
Aya: It's okay, I have this effect on every man I meet.
Si'yahe: Wait... do you think I'm attracted to you?
Aya: Well, yes. You were saying I'm the first real youkai you've met, right?
Si'yahe: (facepalms) Please, please tell me you're a mischievous Al-jinni playing a practical joke on me.
Aya: Now you're denying that I'm a youkai. You've got issues. Do you like me or not? I don't know what you're meaning by all this.
Si'yahe: I've got issues? What in the hell are you talking about?
Aya: Well, either you're being suave and complimenting me in a very strange way or you're in denial that you're a youkai... as well as being in denial that I'm one too.
Si'yahe: Listen, I'm not one of these 'youkai', and if you're the example of this strange species, then it's a good thing I'm not! Youkai are fools!
Aya: Hey, that's racist!
Si'yahe: Not quite as racist as denying a race exists entirely.
Aya: Whatever. I thought you were pretty attractive and interesting, but you're just a loser drowning in denial. I won't rub your chest any more, you ungrateful youkai!
Si'yahe: I NEVER ASKED FOR MY CHEST TO BE RUBBED!
Aya: It doesn't matter who did what, you're not getting any more. Men are all the same, they always have something to hide... undying love for someone else, the lack of an innate desire to compliment me every five seconds, his entire species...
Si'yahe: I'm... seriously confused.
Aya: I know you are! But I'm not going to help you find who you are any more. We are FINISHED! (flies away briefly, before coming back) You can keep the china tea set. (flies away again)
Si'yahe: Did she just break up with me? Screw this, I'm going to the Disney universe.
And with that, I left that denying ruffian to his own devices. Seriously, he was being one stubborn youkai. I later went around asking people if they had heard of these 'Al-jinn' creatures, but surprise, surprise, no-one but that mimicking youkai and Yukari Yakumo knew about them.
Yukari is quoted as saying, 'I do know what they are, but it's more fun for me to pretend not to know, so no, I have no clue what these Al-jinn are', while Dawitsu said, 'Well, they're not really ghosts or youkai, sort of... inter-dimensional beings with phenomenal cosmic power. You didn't do anything stupid like anger one, did you?'
But of course, that mimicker was also stupid enough to found a false religion and hijack my... uh, our beautiful newspaper by imitating my beautiful reporting style, so he's not exactly a reliable source. I'm just including him to show how generous I am in giving a balanced argument.
Anyway, this is Pure and Honest Shameimaru, telling you to tell that stupid blue muscular hunk of a youkai that he is one if you see him. Goodbye.
Article written by Aya Shameimaru
Present-day hindsight: Like, the only reason this is in the archives is because Aya likes the photograph she took of the Al-jinni guy. Oh, like, I mean 'youkai'. But yeah, she really likes the picture, I've seen her kissing the first copy of the article. I caught her with it one night, and she totally made up the excuse that she was 'searching for decent articles to go in the archive'.
So, like, here it is. I hope Aya doesn't read over this particular hindsight section, she'd totally kill me.