"Finally, now this is what I have been wait for all night!" Banshee Elf Archer threw her arms out excitedly as she beheld the welcoming sight of the manor's incredible heated pool before her. Clad only in a simple bath towel, the Undead Elf was all too ready to get into enjoy a good swim, and let all the worries she had acuminated over the entire day melt away. "This is going to be so awesome!"
"Yes, I have to agree. This will do wonders for my muscles," Zombie Priestess, clad in a more conservative one-piece swimsuit, had already tried the pool late this morning. Her experience had been nothing short of heavenly, and she was all too willing to use it again.
And considering, the day Zombie Priestess had just experienced, a nice dip in the comfortably warm waters was the very thing she needed. Banshee Elf Archer had privately told Zombie Priestess that 'family meal' had been one of the most hair raising, tension filled affairs any of the Silver Ranked Adventurers had ever experienced, and Zombie Priestess had been inclined to agree.
Their nerves were all frayed, their shoulders and muscles tense for the worry, their bodies numb after constant bouts of anxiety… however, a nice dip in the pool would make all those problems go away instantly. What a heavenly invention Vampire Sister had managed to install in her manor! The baths were far enough from the fighting that the sound didn't really carry, and the walls were mostly soundproofed anyway. Considering Vampire Sister's last update confidently stated her brother was winning, handily, the Goblin Slayers felt justified in knowing the only thing left to do this fine day to get Sword Maiden to bed, and find a way to get rid of their built up off their stress
Honestly, Zombie Priestess pitied Uncle, Hollow Dwarf and Skeleton Lizardman at this moment, who were in the game room passing their time while they waited for their turn. She knew the trio were just as rattled as she was, but she got to have this pool first while they had to find a way to get rid of their anxiety some other way.
"Your Holiness, the pool looks great!" Banshee Elf Archer playfully called back into the changing room, where Vampire Sister was helping Sword Maiden pick out one of the swimsuits that the Vampire had been bought for the Archbishop as a welcoming present, "You should hurry up and come on in here or we'll start without you!"
"Coming!" Sword Maiden's amused voice called back amusedly, "Just give me a few moments to decide what to wear... oh this one feels so nice. I didn't think a swimsuit could feel like this…"
"It is nice isn't it? It is actually a prototype I made as part of my attempts to get into fashion, using a special material that my Brother acquired from me from a Beach Town." Vampire Sister's voice could be heard saying.
"Really?" Sword Maiden replied with very keen interest.
"Oh, yes. My brother was the one to find out about the material from one of his Adventures. In fact, many of the ideas I have in my business ventures originate from my talks with him. You wouldn't believe the things he knows…"
"Huh, if they're going to be gossiping, then they might be a while." Banshee Elf Archer sighed.
"Uh, are you sure it's a good idea hurrying the Archbishop? I mean, she does need to choose what to wear." Zombie Priestess asked with a frown. Undead Master had been enough of a handful having already treated the Archbishop with such brusqueness, so it wouldn't do if her other party members started forgetting decorum too.
"Relax. There isn't any harm in letting her Holiness know how good the pool is. Think of it as building the hype," Banshee Elf Archer winked playfully while placing her hands on her hips, "And honestly, I don't see why she had to pick out a swimsuit and go nude like I am. We're all girls here and this is basically a really, really big bath, so why all the modesty?"
"Hm, actually now that you mention it… I wonder why they decided to make it a heated indoor pool instead of a normal bath," Zombie Priestess, looked at the Gargoyle at the far and of the pool curiously, "I mean while this is happens to be large and deep enough that we can do swimming in it, from what I can tell everyone mostly uses this as a hot spring. If we preplaced that Gargoyle at the end with a Statute of the Goddess of Baths, I wouldn't be able to tell that this was a pool."
"Well, I asked about it earlier, and the answer is quite funny," Banshee Elf Archer, "It had something to do with the Goddess of Baths not liking Vampires."
"Oh, I remember that from the Mother Superior's tales!" Zombie Priestess recalled, "Something about the first Vampire building a sacrilegious bath of blood in his castle, insulting everything she stood for and causing all Vampires to earn her enmity for all time?"
"Yep, that's the tale," Banshee Elf Archer confirmed, "The whole vendetta thing from the Goddess forced Orcbolg's sister to think creatively. Then while she was considering her options, she somehow got the idea of combining her bath with a swimming pool as a technical workaround of the Goddess' teachings. The result was this beauty. Cool story, eh?"
"I see. Well, this is an interesting way of getting around the rules based on a technicality. But still, I hope the Goddess doesn't take too much of an offence." Zombie Priestess said worriedly.
"Meh. You worry too much." Banshee Elf Archer laughed spiritedly. "Look, it's just a pool. Enjoy it!"
"I'm still worried, though," Zombie Priestess admitted nervously, the tension from this night events causing her to be more apprehensive than usual. Now that Zombie Priestess knew about the story behind the pool, she could not help but think the Goddess would be furious that her laws had been circumvented. Possibilities of the Goddess wrath reverberated in the young Priestess' mind.
"Er, are you okay? You're looking mighty pale there." Banshee Elf Archer asked.
"I'm… I'm worried. The Goddess of Baths doesn't have temples like the other Gods. Baths are all she has, and she really hates Vampires," Zombie Priestess bit her lip fearfully, "What if she takes offence to what Vampire Sister is doing by having a bath on a technicality? What if she sends a sign?"
Banshee Elf Archer's eyes flew open.
"DO NOT SAY THA-"
And that was when the mangled body of a Goblin Champion, it's entire right side a bloody mess from some kind of tremendous impact, the crashed through the skylight and landed right in the middle of the pool with a tremendous splash. Within seconds, the pristine waters of the baths were marred by a growing pool of blood and guts that started from where the body had crashed, and were slowly making their way outwards.
Banshee Elf Archer and Zombie Priestess stared at the corpse and the spreading pool of red in complete shock, their eyes wide as saucers and their arms handing limply at their sides.
"Rookie," Banshee Elf Archer stated once she had found her voice again, her head turning mechanically to stare at the Priestess with a look that was colder than ice, "Forget just having a talk. I am going to make a List for you, just like the one I made for Orcbolg. A List about things you should not to say under any circumstances, because clearly when you say things, things happen."
"O-okay." Zombie Priestess cowered.
"By the Gods, you and Orcbolg are going to drive me insane at the rate things are going," Banshee Elf Archer turned her eyes skyward, lamenting her entire existence, "The pool is ruined!"
Zombie Priestess had no idea what to say to comfort the poor Undead Elf, the one amongst the Goblin Slayers who had needed the stress relieving pool most. There was a dead Goblin floating in the water, with hazardous glass shards and Goblin guys everywhere, so there was no way anyone was using the pool now. How could this possibly get any-
"Is everything alright out there?" Sword Maiden's voice called from inside the changing room "I heard a crash outside. Is there anything the matter?"
Had Banshee Elf Archer and Zombie Priestess paled even further than their ghastly pallor already was. Things had officially gotten worse.
Undead Master and the Goblin Slayers in…
"Is it okay to be thankful to a necromancer?"
Starring…
Goblin Slayer as Undead Master
Priestess as Zombie Priestess
High Elf Archer as Banshee Elf Archer
Dwarf Shaman as Hollow Dwarf
Lizardman Priest as Skeleton Lizardman
…And…
Big Sister as Vampire Sister
A not for profit fanfiction by Sasahara17 based on the dark fantasy adventure series Goblin Slayer by Kumo Kagyu, and inspired by the hit idol group Franchouchou of Saga Prefecture, who were produced and re-animated by Kotaro Tatsumi, Cygames and Studio Mappa.
Please support the official releases!
"Oh, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap!" Banshee Elf Archer swore, jumping up and down on her feet in a panic while clutching the sides of her head, "Crap, crap, crap! Orcbolg is behind this, I am sure of it!"
"What do we do? What do we do?" Zombie Priestess whimpered as she quivered from head to toe.
It was one thing trying to explain away the sounds of battle in the distance, but it was an entirely different thing to explain away a dead body of a Goblin that was floating in right dab in the middle of the pool in a mangled heap! Worse, had Sword Maiden not been delayed by her gossiping with Vampire Sister, the body would have fallen into the pool while they were in it!
"Girls, is something the matter?" Vampire Sister's voice asked from the changing room, "I know you're both impatient, but we're almost done. We'll just be a second more."
"What do we do? They're coming out! The Archbishop is going to see!" Zombie Priestess whirled on Banshee Elf Archer and hoped that the more experienced Silver, known for their experience, skill and most of all their dependability, would have an answer to their conundrum.
"You're asking me? This isn't anything I've encountered before, damnit, and I am over two thousand years old!" The clueless Elf replied, having graduated from merely clutching the sides of her head to pulling on her braids in frustration.
"But, but, but… you managed to convince the Archbishop earlier during dinner!" Zombie Priestess pointed out desperately, "Surely you can do it again?"
"That was a fluke! That was a fluke and we both know it!" Banshee Elf Archer retorted, "I can't do it again, not for something like this! There's a dead body right there! What do you expect me to say?"
"But we don't have any other options-"
"Wow, there's a lot of shouting. You two really need a lesson about the Supreme God's virtue of patience," Sword Maiden called out in jest. "Almost done. Give me a second to get tie this…."
"DON'T COME OUT!" Both Zombie Priestess and Banshee Elf Archer called out simultaneously.
"…may I ask why?" A much less amused Sword Maiden's voice replied, clearly now on guard after such a strong response from two of her hosts.
The two Undead Adventures stared at each other, horrified that impulsive action had now put the on the spot. Sword Maiden knew for sure now that something was wrong, and they needed to respond to her quickly to salvage the situation. There was not time to plan, no time to make excuses, or find aid. They just had to wing it as best they could and hope for the best.
With nothing to it, Zombie Priestess took in a deep breath and was about to speak the first excuse that popped into her mind…
"Zombie Priestess just slipped and quartered herself in the pool"
…when Banshee Elf Archer beat her to it.
"The young Priestess did what?" Sword Maiden's surprise was unmistakable.
"Er, yes. The young Priestess is… well… a Zombie, so her body is a little 'different' from the rest of us," Banshee Elf Archer continued, looking apologetically to Zombie Priestess while she spun her horrid, horrid lies, "When I disrobed and dropped my towel on the side of the pool, she slipped on it while getting in herself and kind of… fell to pieces."
"Oh. My. That… that sounds… well, that sounds dreadful." Sword Maiden's surprised and unsure tone was a sign that Banshee Elf Archer's last-minute harebrained explanation was working once more. Unfortunately, due to the nature of the excuse in question, Zombie Priestess could not find it in herself to feel relief or happiness that they had dodged disaster once more.
No, Zombie Priestess was feeling something completely different at that very moment.
"Well, she fell apart in the pool, so it's a total mess right now. Blood and guts all over the place now that her torso's in two pieces and her limbs are everywhere," Banshee Elf Archer explained just as Vampire Sister, dressed in a form fitting black swimsuit with red bat prints all over, entered the main pool area to have a look for herself. "I'm trying to put her back together."
"That is… that is… I'm not sure what to say to that." Sword Maiden admitted dumbly.
"Yeah, even the stuff from her dinner is floating around in the pool. Suck to have a digestive tract that can come apart, eh?" Banshee Elf Archer added in an attempt to increase the grossness factor, and then almost immediately regretted it upon seeing her statement's effect on Zombie Priestess.
"Oh, dear. That is quite a mess." Vampire Sister's eyes widened at the sight of the Goblin that now desecrated her pool, "I… I am afraid the pool is most certainly unusable in its' current state."
Owing to the magical energies that encouraged the water circulation, the pool had turned completely red by this point. The magical purification crystals that kept the pool clean had never been designed for this sort of the mess, so it would be a while before the pool returned to its' natural clear hue. Until then, Vampire Sister's pool of blood would not have looked out of place in the castle of any other evil Vampire. Anyone who saw the facility its' current state would justifiably believe that whoever had commissioned such a ghastly sight would have been evil to the core!
"Should I come out and help?"
"No, no, no, no! I've got this," Banshee Elf Archer responded quickly, her guilty eyes never once breaking eye contact with Zombie Priestess, "Zombie Priestess falls apart all the time on her Adventures, so we've gotten real used to picking up after her. Ha. Ha. Ha. That funny girl, right?"
Zombie Priestess was a compassionate girl, who cared for everyone around her and shied away from violence in all its' forms. Mercy, compassion and nonviolence were deeply ingrained into her since childhood, and even after her demise and subsequent revival, that aspect of her personality had not changed in the slightest. A kind, peace loving girl was just who Zombie Priestess was, and not even death could change that about her.
However, what death could not achieve, slander and humiliation seemingly could. At that very moment, the look Zombie Priestess was giving to Banshee Elf Archer would have stuck the Elf dead if she hadn't already been that way. Zombie Priestess had, after an entire day of having her nerves yanked around by fate, finally reached her breaking point.
"Okay, it seems like you have things well in hand here," Vampire Sister said, having come to the realization being next to Banshee Elf Archer while Zombie Priestess was about to blow was a bad place to be, as she rushed back into the changing room, "Alright, your Holiness! Sorry about the sudden unavailability of the pool. Perhaps something else is in order. A trip to the gallery, perhaps?"
"That would be wonderful. I've heard so much about your collection. Do you have any statues in there?" Sword Maiden replied happily as the danger she posed faded away.
Thus leaving Banshee Elf Archer and one very, very, very angry Zombie Priestess alone in the desecrated pool. The floating Goblin corpse was now the least of the Undead Elf's worries.
"For what it's worth I'm really sorry I did that," Banshee Elf Archer said with a shit eating smile that would have made it known to every onlooker that she was well aware of how dead she was, and not in the literal sense, "So uh, you know you can't actually kill me since I am already dead, right?"
"I know." Zombie Priestess suddenly smiled. "I'm just going to make you wish I had."
Then, before Banshee Elf Archer could react, Zombie Priestess seized the Elf that had besmirched her good name by the wait and, using the unnatural strength granted to her by her undead status, hurled the shrieking Banshee into the muddied pool.
The Goblin Lord could not believe what was happening. In the span of a few hours, his once fearsome Goblin Army had been annihilated in what should have been the first stage of a glorious campaign. In his mind, five hundred Goblins should have been an unstoppable force. One that no kingdom could hope to stand again. Yet, even the arrogance and pride in the world could not blind the Goblin Lord to what he beheld with his very eyes.
His Goblin riders, blown apart by hidden explosives. His Goblin infantry, torn to ribbons by the grasping hands of the Undead. His Goblin Shamans and Champions, confronted by unexpected adversaries that were their equal in every respect before being smashed apart by a rotting Ogre that was a match for a thousand of his men. His army of five hundred was down to a fifth of that number.
Oh, the Goblin still had a hundred Goblins under his command. One hundred Goblin footmen, the ones that were bearing their 'human shields' that would have normally led the charge had circumstances not been different. It was still a force that he could commit to this battle.
However, two things stayed the Goblin Lord's hand.
First, barely any of the four hundred Goblins in the field remained. Only a single Shaman, a pair of Champions and a half dozen infantry still remained fighting, but given the Ogre was already advancing on them this small pocket of survivors would not last long. There was no value to be had to commit the remainder of his force to save them. These survivors were as good as dead.
Second, Goblin Lord was a Goblin at heart. For all his arrogance, his belief in his superiority and his strength, he was still a Goblin… and a Goblin was, above all else, a coward. With any illusions he may have had of achieving victory had now been shattered, Goblin Lord saw the possibly of his death if he continued on this path. That possibility, so clear in his mind now, overshadowed everything else.
The horde had had spent months building was done. Goblin Lord knew that now. How and why it had happened he still did not know. But what he did know what that as long as he survived, he would have a chance. His base, still had a few women capable of breeding. Experience had taught him time and again that as long as he was alive, another moment would come. There were still supplies. He may have lost the bulk of his men, but the hundred Goblins he had left with him meant he wouldn't be starting from scratch.
With a motion of his arm, Goblin Lord and his remaining Goblins turned away from the carnage, where the last of their comrades were still making their final stands, and retreated back into the forest. Carrying the battered unusable women, they had tied to wooden shields with them, the one hundred Goblins and their leader marched back into the woods, discontent by their failure to seize the farm but nevertheless thankful that they had managed to keep their lives.
Every Goblin had seen the horror their brethren had fallen prey to, but instead of feeling fear, sympathy, or grief, each and every Goblin's mind were already thinking, assessing what had happened from this. Learning, so that the next time they attacked this fiasco would not happen again. They would learn. They would improve. And then the Goblins would rise again.
"I knew that was what you would think."
Unfortunately for them, someone had something to say about that.
The Goblin Army stopped in their tracks as dozens of voices, hundreds of voices, spoke in unison from deeper in the darkness of the forest. A multitude of sounds, birdlike chirping, animalistic growling, insect like buzzing, all coming together in a symphony of sound that created humanlike speech that could be heard and understood. Speech, that was addressed to them.
"You are fools. I have already destroyed your home. There is nowhere for you to run to," The voice of legion spoke, "From the moment you crossed me, your death is certain. You will all die here."
The Goblins huddled together behind their shields, fear gripping their hearts as shadowy shapes flitted about between the trees in the darkness, so quick that not even their formitable night vision could catch but the faintest glimpses. Goblin Lord himself stood in the center of this formation Axe held before him in a combative pose, putting on a brave face for both his men and his pride while inwardly screaming in terror. Trapped in the darkness, Goblin Lord knew terror in its' purest form.
This… this was no Adventurer. No Adventurer would act like this. No Adventurer would fight like this. No Adventurer would proclaim their deaths with such certainty, such casualness like this.
What had they been fighting?
From the darkness, forms began to emerge.
First, a monstrous creature that stepped out into a small clearing illuminated by the moonlight.
It was a powerful beast, with the of a head of a human, body of a lion and the tail of a venomous scorpion, with deadly sharp quills all over its' body. It was a Manticore, a creature most deadly and a challenge for even the most skilled spearmen alive… however, the hole in its' forehead from the fatal blow that Spearman had landed remained as a testament to its' Undead nature.
Following behind it, a floating spheroid body with a great bulging eye in its' center, surrounded by smaller eyestalks that had their own eyes. A Beholder, a creature wielding enormous power through its' many eyes, was the bane of many magicians everywhere. However, even the most astute would have been unsettled by the unfocused, milky eyes of death that this specimen sported.
Then bursting from the tree line, came a large, bipedal, insect-like aberration. Its' chitinous armor was build around a gorilla like body, and two huge mandibles from its' insect like head showed to all the world that the Umber Hulk was a predator. Even though there was a hole in the center of its' chest where Witch had ended its' life, in its' undeath it remained a force to be reckoned with.
And then another monster emerged. And then another, and another, and another, until the one hundred Goblins and their leader were completely surrounded with a virtual menagerie of Undead monstrosities that existed for one reason and one reason alone.
To say the Goblins, and their Goblin Lord, were utterly terrified, would be an understatement.
Then, the Undead Abominations all spoke as one, their sounds coming together to deliver one final message to the doomed Goblins.
"An Army? A Lord? A Goblin Nation? Ridiculous," The voice said, dripping with contempt, "You are all Goblins. Just filthy, stinking Goblins… I? I am a Goblin Slayer."
And that was when the Undead Rock Eater burst out from under the feet of the Goblin Lord, swallowing the would-be monarch in a single moment and scattering the Goblins' feeble defensive formation to the four winds.
What followed… did not really need to be said.
Back in the barn, which was virtually untouched by the battle due to the fact all of the Goblins had died before even being able to step foot in there, two childhood friends sat side by side as they watched the battle draw to its' sad conclusion.
"The Goblins are dead. I have secured the hostages," Undead Master raised his head, the red glow in his eye slowly diminishing as he released direct control over the creatures he had sent to finish the retreating Goblins off, "The battle is over."
"Wow, all those monster corpses that Guild receptionist sold you turned out to be real useful, huh?" Cow Girl quipped from where she had been sitting next to him on a bale of hay, never once having left his side for the entire battle as she had promised, "And here I thought she was just selling them to us to make money for the Guild. Goblin Zombies are so much cheaper and easier to make."
"It is important to experiment. Different creatures can have different uses," Undead Master reminded her, "For instance Our four Rock Eaters are extremely useful for underground tunneling and construction. Imagination and experimentation…"
"…are weapons, I know, I know," Cow Girl finished her friends' favorite saying with a frown "Its' just… I get the sense she has some kind of ulterior motive selling us all these monsters, you know? The Guild doesn't normally do this sort of thing. What if she's plotting something?"
"I do not think so. The arrangement is mutually beneficial." Undead Master shrugged.
Cow Girl pouted briefly, wondering when her childhood friend would finally begin to understand the mind of a woman. Granted all the stories she had been told signaled to Cow Girl that obliviousness was a problem throughout the male species, but she had a feeling even Undead Master would be an exceptional case among his peers. When it came to the women in his life, Cow Girl included, Undead Master was about as dense as a brick!
But speaking of women…
"Are you sure the hostages are all safe?" Cow Girl asked worriedly, "I get that your Rock Eater tunneled into the Goblin's hideout and rescued the girls there, but the poor women that the Goblins carried into battle as shields were very close to where you said you confronted the Lord. Are you sure they are going to be okay?"
"I am. My Undead have been instructed to make the rescue of the women their highest priority. In any case I oversaw their rescue myself by assuming direct control. While many of them have injuries, with some medical attention they should survive," Undead Master informed Cow Girl confidently.
"Medical attention? Should we get the Priestess, then?"
"That would not be necessary. The young Priestess can only use minor miracles, and only three times a day. She has limited actual medical training. Her skill set is not very applicable to this situation, particularly given she has other duties to perform," Undead Master accessed logically, "Given the number of patients and the nature of their injuries, our medial training and the cave's medical center would produce more consistent results."
"I see," Cow Girl nodded, then pushed herself off from the bale off hay, rolling her shoulders as she did so, "I should go get the healing potions and first aid supplies from the storeroom and get the triage equipment ready then.
"That would be advisable," Undead Master agreed as he rose to follow her, "I will activate a few of the Dark Elf zombies we have to assist us."
"It's been a while since I have had to treat live patients like this," Cow Girl remarked as the pair proceeded to the corner of the barn, where a trap door lead to the underground tunnel network that spanned the estate, "Most of the time I'm just handling corpses for you. Using my skills to help living people would be a nice change from just preparing bodies for conversion into Zombies."
"Is that so?" Undead Master replied following after her.
"…you know that physically them will only be a part of the solution, right?" Cow Girl reminded Undead Master sadly, knowing what those poor women had gone though would leave lasting scars, both of body and of the mind. "If only the Church didn't shy away from us so much. We could have really used a mind healer in a situation like this."
"Indeed. It is a pity." Undead Master agreed, the pair descending into the tunnels to deal with the aftermath of the bloody battle. This was the sad part about dealing with Goblins. Murder and death the Goblins may bring, but much of the true suffering that those vermin inflicted was on those that survived, or were left behind to deal with the ashes… a fact that both Undead Master, Cow Girl and the rest of their family were all too familiar with.
"By the way… there's a lot of dead bodies out in the field, and the battle made a right mess. How are we going to clean it all up? There are craters, dead bodies, burned hedges, broken fencing everywhere…" Cow Girl said as she listed off the laundry list of things that would need fixing, "That's a fairly tall order to take care of, you know."
"Don't worry. I will deploy the maintenance crew to take care of it."
Cow Girl paused midstride upon hearing that.
"Um, didn't we store the maintenance crew in the house to save time? Won't they cause a commotion when they go out?" Cow Girl realized with a start, "What if they disturb our guest."
To this, Undead Master had a simple reply.
"Don't worry, my teammates will handle it."
"Oh! Young Priestess, you've come here to join us," Sword Maiden turned her head delightfully as Zombie Priestess stepped int the gallery where the Archbishop and her Vampire host was admiring one of the few carved stone statues that were in the collection, "It's so good to see that you are okay. The Honored Elf had me concerned something horrible happened to you!"
"It wasn't so bad, your Holiness. Strange situations happen to us all the time." Zombie Priestess replied reassuringly as she came up beside the older woman.
Owing to the 'cover story' Zombie Priestess had deliberately waited a full half hour before making her way to join Sword Maiden and Vampire Sister in the gallery to properly account for the time she would need for Banshee Elf Archer to 'put her back together'. The nerve of that Elf, honestly!
"I was wondering why you were talking so long that I was wondering if perhaps I should have remained behind to help out after all," Sword Maiden remarked compassionately turning to regard both the Vampire and then the Zombie before her, "I must say, 'life' as an Undead being is quite strange. To have a body that can fall apart by slipping on a towel… How do you deal with that?"
"Oh, you get used to it." Zombie Priestess replied with a blank look.
"Hm. That is odd," Vampire Sister caned her head around curiously to search for the missing member of their tour, "did you come alone? Where is our favorite Banshee?"
"Oh, her?" Zombie Priestess clasped her hands together somewhat happily, "The last I checked she's still in the pool. She volunteered to clean it all up. Wasn't that nice of her?"
Zombie Priestess remembered the scene she had witnessed as she left the pool.
One miserable Undead Elf, drenched head to toe in Goblin Blood and ears dropping as a sign of her distress, was starting to clean up the mess that had been made. A mop in one hand, a fishing net in the other, and several buckets and trash bins by her side, Banshee Elf Archer had undertaken the task of cleaning up the horrid disaster that the pool had become, all by herself without even calling the other Goblin Slayers for aid, as a way of apologizing to Zombie Priestess.
Although Zombie Priestess had tried her best to feel bad for the Elf as she departed the scene, truth be told she was still feeling a tad bit vindictive for what had happened. It wasn't every day that someone humiliated Zombie Priestess so completely in front of one of her childhood heroes, after all! While the young Priestess was sure she would feel bad about her vengeful feelings later, at the moment she was perfectly fine with the arrangement.
"So, are you enjoying the Gallery so far? There are mostly paintings in here, was I was a little worried about whether you would enjoy yourself here." Zombie Priestess said, quickly changing the subject before Sword Maiden could probe the ignominious fate of the Elf any further.
"Oh, young priestess, you should have more confidence in my collection." Vampire Sister chided playfully, "Although I do have many paintings in my gallery, I am very conscious of the fact that not all art can be captured on canvas. For example, take this magnificent statue here!"
The Vampire turned to gesture at the statue before the three women It was a marble statue of some sort of horned warrior that seemed vaguely familiar. Leather armor, a long sword at its' waist, exposed arms, full face concealing helmet with horns-wait a moment.
"Behold! A statute of my brother when he first started out as an Adventurer," Vampire Sister guestured proudly, "He was such a rookie back then. He's so different from how he is now, you wouldn't have recognized him!"
"This is what he looked like when he was younger?" Zombie Priestess focused her undivided attention on the statue before her… and much to her disappointment, found herself being unable to make out any changes. That helmet really did conceal everything, didn't it?
"Can I touch it?" Sword Maiden asked quickly. Almost too quickly, in fact. "I can't see, so I will need to touch it to get a sense of what I am looking at."
"Please do!" Vampire Sister allowed happily.
Sword Maiden's hand darted out quickly… and, owing to the height difference and the fact the statue was on a pedestal, accidentally grasped the statue's groin.
Zombie Priestess instantly went red in the face and let out an audible squeak.
"Oh, my. I seem to have grabbed the wrong part of the statue. Terribly sorry about that," Sword Maiden retracted her hand quickly, but honestly didn't sound very disappointed by what she had felt at all, "I hope I didn't offend you by doing that. I was hoping to gra-I mean touch, his chest."
"Not at all. Mistakes happen from time to time," Vampire Sister waved off those concerns with an understanding smile, "Still, I thought it interesting you wanted to have a feel for my brother's chest. I think it might interest you know that the finest artisans made that statue for me… it is completely, anatomically accurate to my brother."
"R-Really?!" Sword Maiden and Zombie Priestess responded simultaneously, one excited and the other completely scandalized.
"Yes, really!" Vampire Sister said delightfully. "Want to try getting a feel of it again? You didn't really get a good grasp of it the last time. If you really want to commit this statue of my brother to memory, you need to get a good feel of it."
"Don't mind if it do!" Sword Maiden said enthusiastically, while Zombie Priestess decided she wanted to die again on the spot.
Perhaps she should have remained behind with Banshee Elf Archer to clean the pool. She should have known that job would have been infinitely more easy to do than dealing with the Archbishop!
Thankfully for Zombie Priestess' nerves and dignity, the Sword Maiden had been much more tired than any of her hosts had expected. After feeling up several more statues, mostly the ones Vampire Sister had commissioned of her brother while passing over the statues of her other family members and friends, the Archbishop had declared her intention to retire for the evening.
"I think all the good food and wine you served earlier has settled into my stomach a little too well," Sword Maiden explained with much satisfaction as the three women exited the gallery and began making their way to the main foyer through the manor's corridors, "I'm not normally one to get this tired so quickly. I'm sorry if this makes it seem like I am not interested in your Gallery"
"Don't worry about it. As a Vampire, I know how tired someone can get if they stay out too late. Early to bed, early to rise and all that," Vampire Sister replied understandingly, "If you sleep now, we'll have more time to deal with the work in the morning, and better yet hopefully the pool will be fixed by then so you can use it."
"That sounds like a good idea. After all, while all this leisure time is nice, there is work that does need to be done," Sword Maiden agreed wholeheartedly, "It must be so inconvenient for you, being active while so many others are sleeping. How do you ever deal with it?"
"Oh, there are plenty of ways to get around that problem. Delegation is a key tool for us business owner, you know!" Vampire Sister laughed as the three women stepped into the foyer…
…just as the door to the basement door under one of the flights of stairs slammed open, causing Zombie Priestess to jump in fright. From within the darkness rushed forth a line of Goblins. Dozens or Goblins! Hundreds of Goblins! A virtual horde of Goblins carrying… gardening equipment?
"By the Earth Mother, what in the world?" Zombie Priestess gaped, having jumped in front of the Vampire and Archbishop protectively upon seeing the Goblins. At first she had assumed that their defenses had been breached and a fight had been about to break out, but now that she looked closer something very different was going on.
Horde of Goblins, carrying hoes, tills, sears, spades and an assortment of a whole bunch of other tools was rushing out from the basement door towards the main entrance of the manor. The first Goblin, carrying a hammer in one hand and a bottle of loose nails in the other, kicked the door open and charged out, the rest of the Goblins following right after him like a line of worker ants.
This was not a Goblin attack. However, for Zombie Priestess, that distinction was not a very useful one given her specific circumstances.
With a veritable horde of Zombies rushing about in clear view, Zombie Priestess nervously turned to face the two women behind her. The first was Sword Maiden, a woman who had spent some time in the 'care' of Goblins in her youth and, if the stories had Zombie Priestess had heard were true, someone who had came away from that disaster lasting mental scars. The second was Vampire Sister, the woman who had hired the Goblin Slayers to keep Sword Maiden away from any Goblins and was also a victim of Goblin cruelty.
Goblins were tromping around in front of them at this very moment. Zombie Priestess was so mortified by what was happening, she could have died.
"Oh my." Sword Maiden raised a hand to her mouth in surprise as the virtual line of Goblins continued to rush from the basement to the exit in front of them, "That's a whole lot of Zombies you have there. I didn't know your estate had that many."
"You can tell they're Zombies?" Zombie Priestess's head snapped back to Sword Maiden, shocked that the other woman could tell what was happening despite her blindness.
"The footsteps of a Zombie and the footsteps of a real Goblin are very different, my dear." Vampire Sister explained with a comforting hand on Zombie Priestess shoulder, "Besides, our dear Archbishop's aura vision lets her see a great many things. She can tell with a glance these are not the beings she had feared for so much of her life."
"I only fear living Goblins. Dead ones are of no threat to me," Sword Maiden noted reassuringly, before a slightly sadistic smile graced her features, "In fact, I find the thought of dead Goblins very pleasing. Seeing so many of these Zombie Goblins is actually quite comforting."
"Oh, I see. T-that's good to know, then." Zombie Priestess replied fearfully. She had only seen that smile on one other person before, and Lady Revenant had not been the most stable of minds. This was not the look she had ever hoped to see on the Archbishop of the Supreme God's church.
By this point the Zombie Goblins were slowing to a trickle. Although there had been many, their numbers were not endless, and by this point only a few tailing Zombies Goblins, carrying sacks of gardening soil, were shambling after where their fellows had rushed off to.
"I am curious though, where are all these Zombies going?" Sword Maiden wondered turning to look out the open door, "This is an awful lot of them that are heading out with all that equipment. I wonder what could be the matter?"
Zombie Priestess froze once again faced with yet another instance where she would have to explain an absurd situation to Sword Maiden to keep her away from the truth. However, unlike all the previous times this had happened, she did not have any of her party members with her. Banshee Elf Archer was still cleaning the pool, without the Undead Elf it meant it fell to Zombie Priestess to spin yet another yarn of lies. There would be no hiding behind the Silver Ranked Adventurers this time.
However, Zombie Priestess knew in her heart that she was a poor liar, and between her ineptitude and Sword Maiden's Sense Lie miracles, there was no hope!
"What do I do? What do I do?" Zombie Priestess whimpered, unable to think up anything.
"Oh, it's simple really. They're my workers!"
Zombie Priestess' head snapped to where Vampire Sister stood. The Vampire' stood confidently without even the slightest discomfort casually gestured to the door where the Zombies had gone.
"You know it is so hard to find people willing to work for a Vampire these days, even after I offer them three times the national average as a salary," Vampire Sister gave a longsuffering sigh that may have been a tad overdramatic, "So, I asked my brother to help me get some workers for menial labor, and he offered up some of his Zombies as workers for the fields."
"Really?" Sword Maiden said with some surprise.
"Really!" Vampire Sister nodded in affirmation, "Why do you think they were all carrying gardening equipment?"
"Wow, that sounds like a novel use of Zombies." Sword Maiden observed, while Zombie Priestess was left staring at the Vampire with her mouth agape.
"Indeed! You have no idea how useful Zombies can be for menial labor. Obviously there are some complex tasks that only an intelligent person can handle, but for pulling weeds and watering the plants? Zombies are more than perfect!" Vampire Sister quipped brightly, "They don't need wages, they don't need food or rest, I won't even need to worry about them forming a union or going on strike… the only problem is that my Zombies have to work at night to avoid scaring the neighbors!"
"That… that's actually a brilliant idea!" Sword Maiden clapped her hands in appreciation of the Vampire's brilliant, cost saving idea, "Is that the secret to your success? Zombie workers?"
"Partially. I also use my familiars to cut down on the need for a large labor force. There are a whole bunch of other secrets as well that I use for improving my products, but those are trade secrets," Vampire Sister winked cheekily, "I'm not going to let you in on all my business secrets that easily!"
Zombie Priestess couldn't tell if Vampire Sister was lying or not. In fact, she was pretty sure that was at least a grain of truth in the Vampire's words. However, regardless as to the truthfulness of Vampire Sister's claims, what mattered was that Sword Maiden was once again distracted by what she had just witnessed and was completely assured that all was well. In fact, Vampire Sister had managed to even get the Archbishop to buy into the tale!
Had Zombie Priestess not already known there had been a Goblin Army outside, she would have believed completely in Vampire Sister's words too! Banshee Elf Archer's lies had already been ridiculous enough as it was, but it was clear that Vampire Sister was on a whole different level.
Silver Rank Adventurer? Amateurs compared to the fearsome might of the Vampire Lords!
"Teach me." A completely awed Zombie Priestess blurted out impulsively towards the Vampire.
"Teach you what?" Sword Maiden tilted her head in confusion.
"Later." Vampire Sister smiled pleasantly, before gently suggesting that Sword Maiden retire to her room as the Vampire needed to oversee the Zombies working in the fields and take care of other business… A completely plausible lie that Sword Maiden didn't even pause at.
Vampires. No wonder why they were so feared.
The next morning, while Sword Maiden and Vampire Sister were meeting in one of the private conference rooms to discuss their actual work in confidence, the four Undead Goblin Slayers reconvened in one of the empty guest rooms to access their performance the previous day. Banshee Elf Archer's assessment of their performance was short, blunt, to the point and entirely accurate.
"I have no idea how we managed to get through that." The Undead Elf declared from where she lay sprawled out on the bed, clearly exhausted after she had spent the entire night clearing the pool and making it presentable again, "I have never experienced an 'Adventure' like this in my entire career."
"In retrospect, our underperformance here should have been expected. Most of our previous adventures had been monster hunts, dungeon exploration and frontier expeditions into uncharted land," Skeleton Lizardman observed, arms folded in contemplation, "Our lack of experience in a dealing with such a trial, particularly one as unusual as this, was clearly to our detriment here."
It was times like this that Zombie Priestess was reminded that not all Silver Ranked Adventurers were created equally. The ranking system, while certainly an effective way of gauging an Adventurer's abilities, was not the be all, end all measurement of the worth of an Adventurer.
It is said that an Adventurer with the strength of a thousand men but did not have an ounce of honesty would never make it past Steel. Conversely, an Adventurer with the strength of only a single man but could be counted on completing any mission before them without fail, could rise to the Silvers by diligence alone. Thus, it stood to reason there were Silver ranked Adventurers who were less combat capable than others, but made up for their deficiencies with guile and cunning. Conversely, there were others who were extremely capable in battle or exploration but knew they weren't as capable out of their chosen field… but so long as they recognized their limits and planned around them, these Adventurers would be worthy of their rank.
At least that was how Zombie Priestess understood it. Certainly, Skeleton Lizardman's observations about why they had been on the edge of disaster the entire time did make sense at face value, but there was more to it than that.
"I'll have to disagree with you there," Hollow Dwarf shook his head, "We have met and talked with important people before, you know, and I think that shows we all know our manners well. The main problem was the fact Beard Cutter was having much too fun out there killing all those Goblins."
"You weren't too helpful yourself, staying in the game room playing pool while us girls were dealing with dead Goblins showing up everywhere." Banshee Elf Archer accused, causing both males to flinch, "Poor Zombie Priestess and I needed back up, you know?
"In their defense, we told them they shouldn't follow us into the pool because it was a girls' only event," Zombie Priestess pointed out, "and Vampire Sister managed to solve the other problem as soon as it appeared. Honestly, it was partially our fault that they weren't around to do more."
The two males looked at Zombie Priestess with extremely grateful expressions.
"Urg… I thought you were supposed to be on my side. In any case, I am going to kill Orcbolg when I see him for putting us through all that," Banshee Elf Archer hissed, then let out a long groan, "But maybe after I have had a long rest first. My muscles are killing me."
"Speaking of which, where is Milord Undead Master? I would have thought the conclusion of the battle would see him rejoin us." Skeleton Lizardman noted the sole member of the Goblin Slayers who was not yet present in the room.
"He said something about needing to deal with the aftermath when I passed him in the foyer this morning," Hollow Dwarf recalled curiously, "He was carrying woodworking tools with him. I think we wants to fix the fence before he will be able to rejoin us."
"That's being very responsible of him to do that. I found that most of the other Adventurers in our Guild they would just leave after the battle is done with, leaving the townsfolk to take care of any repairs." Zombie Priestess noted with growing respect for the necromancer.
"Well this is his house, so it is natural for him to fix it up after a big battle like the one that happened light night. But you are right that Beard Cutter goes out of his way to repair any damage to the villages that are caused by the battles we fight," Hollow Dwarf informed the young Priestess, "You haven't seen it much yet since most of the Goblin hunts we have been on were in the lairs, but the next time we are fighting defensively to defend a village you'll see this aspect of him, clear as day."
"That's very nice of him to do that for the villagers. I wish more adventurers were like him." Zombie Priestess noted compassionately.
"Ha! More the last thing we need is having more Adventurers like Orcbolg!" Banshee Elf Archer scoffed. "Gah! I have no idea how we managed to get through that with our sanities intact! Explosions? Monsters? Goblins falling through the ceiling? It's a damn good thing the Archbishop is blind, or we wouldn't have been able to keep up the charade."
"Aye, pointy ears. Your fibs were hard enough to believe in as it was. Imagine if she had been able to look you in the eye while you were bluffing!" Hollow Dwarf laughed.
"Had her Holiness been able to just look out the window and see the battle raging outside, then there would have been little any of us could have done," Skeleton Lizardman agreed, "Although it is a sad thing that her blindness had impaired our friend so, in this case I think it was something that saved us a fair bit of trouble."
"Yeah, it's a good thing her Aura Vision didn't let her see real things," Zombie Priestess added cheerfully, "I mean, it was bad enough that I was worrying that she would be using her Sense Lie miracle again, but I can't imagine having to deal with the fact she could see!"
Zombie Priestess good mood lasted for a moment longer, and then plummeted when she realized all three of her seniors were looking at her with horror written across all their faces.
"Child," Skeleton Lizardman articulated slowly, "Please repeat to me what you just said? Because if my hearing is not failing me in my undead state, I could have sworn you said that her Holiness had Aura Vision and had already used the Sense Lie miracle once on you already."
"Um, Sword Maiden has Aura Vision, and had used the Sense Lie miracle on me lately?" Zombie Priestess gulped, carefully watching the expressions on the faces of her fellows to access just how bad the situation happened to be. She quickly reached the conclusion that things… were bad.
Banshee Elf Archer had gone completely red in the face. With anger.
"Oh dear." Skeleton Lizardman sighed.
"YOU KNEW ABOUT THE GOBLIN ARMY!?" Banshee Elf Archer shrieked as she kicked open the door to the conference room, causing both Vampire Sister and Sword Maiden to look up from their discussions towards the unexpected disruption, "YOU KNEW ABOUT THE GOBLIN ARMY AND YOU STILL LET US MAKE A FOOL OF OURSELVES?!"
Running in behind the furious banshee was the rest of the party, clearly panicking as they tried to rein in their angry party member and stop her from getting into an altercation with the most powerful representative of the church in the land.
"If you were worried was I was trying to embarrass you, that was never my intent," Sword Maiden replied, completely unperturbed by the angry Banshee that was advancing on her, "As before, I merely wanted to enjoy a casual dinner with you all. Talking about the Goblins outside would not have been conductive to that."
"Ah-ha! So, you admit it! You knew about the Goblins and were having a laugh while I was making a damn fool of myself!" Banshee Elf Archer snarled accusatorily while two sets of arms, one steel and stout and the other bony and strong, wrapped themselves around the furious Banshee's struggling body to restrain her, "How could you make fun of me like that? I thought we were friends!"
"Calm down, Honored Elf! Acting thoughtlessly as you are will do us no good!" Skeleton Lizardman said through grit teeth as the Banshee strained to break free from his powerful grip.
"Pointy Ears, this is not how we deal with our clients!" Hollow Dwarf rumbled, also too straining from the exertion, "I don't care how insulted you are. By the Gods, you're an Adventurer, act like it!"
"Please, calm down!" Zombie Priestess bowed repeatedly to her raging colleague, tears in her eyes.
Banshee Elf Archer huffed a few times more, then relented and allowed Hollow Dwarf and Skeleton Lizardman to sit her down on one of the vacant chairs in the room. Before long, the other Goblin Slayers took their own seats while Vampire Sister and Sword Maiden waited patiently for the four Adventurers to get themselves sorted out.
"So, I take it you knew from the beginning that the Goblins were attacking?" Banshee Elf Archer grumbled, glaring at the Archbishop with her arms folded over her chest.
"Not at first," Sword Maiden admitted honestly as she placed her hands on the table in a gesture of her sincerity, "I was only sure that it was Goblins that was attacking after I confronted Vampire Sister in the gallery, but by that point I was very sure something was amiss. I suspected it was Goblins, but as I said, I had no direct evidence pointing to that specific thing."
"Madam Sister? She confronted you?" Skeleton Lizardman looked to the Vampiress in question, who turned away bashfully while placing a dainty hand to her cheek.
"Oh, yes she did. I was alone with Sword Maiden for a bit while young Priestess and our Elven friend here were still in the pool sorting out that mess," Vampire Sister admitted abashedly, "I had to admit to her that the battle outside involved Goblins. It was a very awkward conversation."
"I see. Then we have utterly failed if we had to inconvenience our client by our failure in our mission to keep Sword Maiden occupied," Skeleton Lizardman bowed deeply, "Our sincerest apologies for our ineptitude. We did not accomplish the task you hired us for."
"No, it's not that bad," Vampire Sister waved her hand quickly to wave off the Lizardman's guilt, "The awkwardness was more to do with the fact you four were so awful about lying, Sword Maiden couldn't believe how quickly you lot tipped her off to the Goblins outside!"
"Wait, what?" Banshee Elf Archer blinked uncomprehendingly.
"Yes, unfortunately, you were really that bad." Sword Maiden stated with an embarrassed smirk, "Honestly, the way you attempted to explain away the noises I had heard were just as bad those excuses those my old party members used the first time my group did something like this. It really did take me back to my gold glory days, though not in the way I had intended."
"So, you mean none of the explanations we used worked?" Zombie Priestess asked.
"Not a single one. In fact, had you tried those on anyone other than myself, I guarantee you that the other Adventurers in the Guild will never let you liver it down… as our dear King knows all too well, ," Sword Maiden said wistfully, remembering her own Adventures so long ago, "Part of the reason I didn't call you out immediately is that I was sitting where you were a long time ago, and know how embarrassing it was to be there. I was trying to figure out a way to let you all down nicely."
"Thank you for your consideration I guess?" Hollow Dwarf scratched the top of his head.
"Wait, but this means that you already knew about the Goblins when I met you again in the Gallery!" Zombie Priestess realized with a start, raising a hand to point at Vampire Sister, "That means the explanation about the Zombie Goblins going out to work the fields wasn't needed! Then why…?"
Vampire Sister and Sword Maiden turned to each other, sharing an amused smile, before Vampire Sister turned to answer the Priestess' question.
"Well, you're a young Adventurer just starting out, so we didn't want the Banshee's attempts at lying to set the example for you to follow," Vampire Sister shrugged as she explained what had happened, "We couldn't have you think such poor performance is the norm in the field. It might harm your future career! So after she confronted me, we decided that should the opportunity arise I would show you a good example on how telling a little white lie is done. You know, the proper way."
There was a loud thump as Banshee Elf Archer's head slammed into the table before her. The poor Elf's humiliation was complete. Not even Hollow Dwarf had the heart to say anything.
Their client not holding them accountable for failing in their jobs so utterly? The Archbishop forgiving them for lying to her, knowing full well they were doing it the entire time? The Archbishop taking pity on them for being such horrible liars. Well this Adventure was turning out to be a real roller coaster of emotions. Their report to the guild going to be an unusual one, Indeed!
"Wait a damn-It was me? I was the one who tipped you off? GAH! I've never been so frustrated in my entire life!" Banshee Elf Archer despaired as she returned to a sitting position while gripping her sidelocks in anguish, "The other Adventurers in the Guild are gonna give me hell for this! Damn it all, this means I'm just as responsible for messing up the Adventure as Orcbolg was!"
"Not quite," Sword Maiden raised a hand to calm the frantic Undead Elf, "While your lack of any ability to construct believable lies certainly did contribute greatly to my suspicions, what initially tipped me off was something different. So, while you did contribute, the initial cause was not you."
"Really? What did we do that revealed that something was amiss?" Skeleton Lizardman asked, clearly taking great interest in the lessons that Sword Maiden was giving out at that moment. Indeed, Hollow Dwarf and Zombie Priestess were also paying close attention now. This Adventure may have been a disaster, but if they learned the harsh lessons taught by it, then such a fiasco would hopefully never happen again.
"It isn't so much as 'what' you did that tipped me off, but more of 'who' it was that tipped me off," Sword Maiden tilted her head and gave a playful smile, "Tell me, did you notice during the entire dinner that I had not asked about the whereabouts of your leader?"
The four Goblin Slayers turned to each other as slow realization came over them. Despite having greeted Sword Maiden upon her arrival, confirming his presence on the estate, Undead Master had then been conspicuously absent at the family dinner where the host was his sister… someone everyone knew that Undead Master loved with all his heart. He would not be absent at the dinner if he could help it, and given that he was, that could only mean he was preoccupied.
"And haven't you already realized that, despite the fact I have just admitted I had suspected Goblins were on the premises at the time, I was not concerned in the least for my own safety?" Sword Maiden continued, the smile on her face growing, "For someone you know had once been petrified by the thought of being in the same area as live Goblins, don't you think my calmness odd?"
Zombie Priestess gulped as her brain connected the dots and came to the only logical conclusion that made any sense. Oh, how obvious it was in retrospect! How obvious it was that their mission had been doomed before Banshee Elf Archer had even blurted out the first of her lame excuses!
"So that's why you suspected that Goblins were involved," Zombie Priestess deduced aloud, "If Undead Master was on the estate but not at the table to have a family dinner with his sister, then there could only be one other place he could have been…"
"Killing Goblins," Sword Maiden nodded, confirming that the Zombie's conclusion was correct, "And that's also why I was not scared in the slightest. After all…
The smile that was coming off the Archbishop's face was positively radiant.
"…what have I to fear from Goblins when the Goblin Slayers are already dealing with them?"
It went without saying that the four Goblin Slayers didn't have much more appetite to continue dealing with Sword Maiden for the rest of the day. Thankfully, Vampire Sister and Sword Maiden were now deep into talks, their presence wasn't strictly required until the afternoon when Vampire Sister planned to sleep. As such, the four Goblin Slayers took the opportunity to retire to their own quarters to rest and recover from their ordeal.
The Goblin Amy was eradicated, and all that was really left to do was to play host to Sword Maiden until the end of the weekend. The Goblin slayers had earned their respite.
However, try as she might, Zombie Priestess found herself restless. Although much had happened so far, questions still lingered in the Zombie Priestess' mind that prevented her from simply tuning out the world and taking her well-deserved rest. Questions that caused Zombie Priestess to seek out the necromancer she owed her current existence to.
As she had been told by Hollow Dwarf, she found Undead Master working at the edge of the estate with several of his Zombies. The necromancer and his workmen were carefully working to restore the land to its' prior state and clean up the mess that had been left behind.
The hedge had been cut down, and the fencing was in the process of being reinstalled. The craters in the ground were being refilled with soil and smoothened out, the explosive charges underneath already having been replaced. What few Goblin bodies that remained after a full night of tidying were being loaded into a wagon, presumably to be taken to the necromancer's lair.
Although the land had been scarred badly by the battle, Zombie Priestess could see undeniable signs that it was, indeed, healing.
"Good morning, Sir," Zombie Priestess greeted as she approached the necromancer, who was overseeing the restoration efforts like a foreman at a construction site, "I can see from the damage that it must have been quite the battle. Have you been up all-night doing repair work?"
"Good morning, Priestess. And yes, I have," Undead Master turned to regard the young Priestess, "While the damage to the estate was limited to only this small grazing area, it is important to restore the defenses as soon as possible in case another emergency arises."
"And you're doing this alone?"
"No, not alone. I have many Zombies with me. Their assistance would not make the restoration possible otherwise." Undead Master gestured to the many servants he had going about their assigned tasks in the field before him.
"That's not what I meant," Zombie Priestess frowned, wondering if he was being deliberately obtuse or was really just this dense, "I meant was there anyone accompanying you during the battle? Someone you had watching your back, or at very least keeping you company?"
"There was," Undead Master responded with a curt nod, "However she is currently resting after having worked throughout the night helping the women we rescued from the Goblins."
"Wait, the Goblins had captives?" Zombie Priestess reeled in shock upon hearing the news.
In the rush to deal with the chaos of the previous night, Zombie Priestess had completely forgotten one key fact that was always true whenever Goblins were involved… that they held captives for reproductive purposes. Although Zombie Priestess had only gone on a few Adventures so far, each and every one drove this fact home to her. Now that she thought about it, a Goblin army of this size would necessitate a large stock of breeders to support their numbers. Breeders, women, who would no doubt experience horrors that Zombie Priestess shuddered to think about.
"We rescued forty-eight women from the Goblins, twenty-nine of which required medical attention," Undead Master turned away, his gaze focusing on something distant, "My companion and I worked through the night treating their injuries. The women are now in stable condition, and I plan to send a runner to a church later to arrange transport for them to a place of healing."
"I-I don't… why didn't you call on me?" Zombie Priestess pressed a hand to her heart, clearly hut that Undead Master hadn't thought to send for her. She was a healer, a Priestess of the Earth Mother. Her calling was to protect, to heal, to save… but she hadn't done any of that this night.
"Your particular skill set was unnecessary at this point of time. At your present abilities, you can only cast three miracles a day. Non-magical battlefield triage is something you are still learning, let alone treatments for more serious matters," Undead Master answered simply, "Between myself, my companion and our store of emergency healing potions, we had more than sufficient skill and resources to treat the influx of patients. There was no need to send for you."
Zombie Priestess could not believe what she was hearing. There had been poor women who had been ravaged by the Goblins, women that had been in dire need of the Earth Mother's grace, and Zombie Priestess had been too busy worrying about whether a stupid lie would be discovered to notice… and couldn't have noticed, for Undead Master did not think to include her for he had judged her skills unnecessary. Inexperienced. Powerless. Inadequate.
That… hurt.
It hurt much more than any physical wound that Zombie Priestess had ever experienced before.
"B-But why?" Zombie Priestess asked, her lips quivering as tears threatened to fall from her eyes, "Healing is what I was trained to do. Healing is what I was meant for. But if I can't do that, if I can't be useful, what am I even here for? What good am I, if I can't heal?"
Undead Master turned his head to face her once more, clearly shocked to get this reaction out of her. It seemed from her previous question that the man really was that dense, if he couldn't realize how his thoughtless decision to exclude Zombie Priestess would affect her.
"I don't understand so many things! The Earth Mother approves of me, even though I am everything her teachings abhors. My life as Adventurer is nothing like I thought it would be like. And now, I can't even do my duty, because you won't let me." Zombie Priestess dropped her face into her hands and began to sob, "Why did you revive me in the first place? Why did you revive me as a zombie?"
Two strong arms suddenly wrapped themselves around Zombie Priestess' quivering form, drawing the smaller girl into Undead Master's strong embrace. The necromancer began gently patting her on the back, comforting her with compassion she had not expected.
"I am sorry. I did not consider you feelings in this," Undead Master admitted apologetically, gently patting the Zombie's quivering back to calm her, "I have been told that I am not very conscious of the intricacies of social interaction. It is something I am working on."
"You… you could have talked to me before you decide, you know?" Zombie Priestess whimpered.
"I will keep that in mind in the future," Undead Master noted firmly, "But to ease your worries. No, I do not think you are useless. I had merely accessed the situation and judged it more worthwhile for your continued growth to stay with the others to deal with Sword Maiden than to accompany me."
"Judged it more worthwhile? What's that supposed to mean?" Zombie Priestess quietly demanded.
"It means I believed your experiences with Sword Maiden would help you learn social interaction skills… skills that could stop you from making mistakes like the one I just did."
That sudden admission of his own weakness caught Zombie Priestess' undivided attention. Gingerly, Zombie Priestess raised her read to gaze up at the helmeted gaze that was looking down at her in a fashion she could almost describe as kind. Familial, even. A compassionate look she had not seen on Undead Master before.
"When I saw you, dying in that cave, arrow through your throat and blood filling your lungs… you were still trying to cover that Wizard's body with your own. Despite the fact you were going to die, you wanted to save her," Undead Master reminded the young Adventuress, "You may be inexperienced, your heart is pure. Never doubt your worthiness. Your power, will grow in time. It is our duty as your mentors to help you grow in the right ways. Our lot is to tech, yours is to learn."
"But I feel so useless, now," Zombie Priestess wept, "Last night was a disaster. We did so badly…"
"The team did badly, not just you. We all hard parts to play in what happened last night, myself included," Undead Master refuted softly, "This is what I learned for what it means to be in a party. Our victories, and our failures, are all shared between us. Understand?"
Zombie Priestess nodded slowly, allowing his compassion to slowly erode the pain that now gripped her heart. How strange, that a Zombie would find comforting words from a necromancer.
"And as for why I selected you to become a Zombie… I did so because I saw in you something that I once wished for myself. Something I wanted to be, in my adolescence," Undead Master quietly confessed, "My master once told me, you will only know the true character of a person at the moment of the time of their death… and what I saw from your last thoughts at your death were wanting to be an Adventurer. A wish so strong, that I immediately knew of it when I saw your passing. I could not help but be moved by your selfness, courage and conviction."
"Is that really what you saw?" Zombie Priestess turned her head away, thankful her Undead nature meant that a blush on her cheeks would be impossible to form, and thus give away her feelings on the matter. Coming from a man as stoic as Undead Master, this was high praise indeed.
"In life, you may have wanted to be an Adventurer, but you certainly died as one. I thought that would be a waste that your future be robbed so cruelly, so I brought you back to fulfill your dreams."
"A wish to be an Adventurer… is it really that important to you?" Zombie Priestess asked.
"More than you know," Undead Master answered truthfully, a sad wistfulness creeping into his voice, "I am not the person I wanted to be as a child. My sister, my friend and my Uncle know this well. Perhaps this is a good thing, as my work keeps many innocents safe, but…"
"I see. You don't need to finish that sentence. I understand." Zombie Priestess touched the necromancer's arm gently, gratefulness surging through her heart. "I know what you mean."
"Is that so?" Undead Master replied, but left it at that.
Vampire Sister was right. This talk was something she needed to have.
"Tell me, Earth Mother… is it okay to be thankful to a necromancer for bringing me back as a Zombie?" Zombie Priestess whispered shortly to herself.
Although she did not hear the voice of the Earth Mother, Zombie Priestess had a good feeling on what the answer to that question would be.
TBC…