"I don't think Shepherd Book would think you were going to the Special Hell," River said after a few minutes of watching at Mal. She knew he was thinking on this as he gazed up at the Preacher's Bible page back on her bunk wall. "Not because of me, anyway." Mal smiled.
"Well thanks for sayin' so," He replied, turning back to her and running his hand down her arm. She was cooling down from their earlier activities and the sweat clinging to her body was starting to dry. "Though, even if I am going to the Special Hell, I figure it's a small price to pay for bein' with you."
"You aren't," River promised, giggling. Then, more seriously, "Shepherd would have understood what's between us. He knew you well. And he knew me too." Mal closed his eyes, thinking of the last time he saw Shepherd Book, when he had died in his arms on Haven. He sighed sadly.
"Your name was one of the last things he said, little one," Mal remembered. "He believed in you, knew we were doing the right thing, trusting in you. I guess you might be right, he might've come around."
"He wanted you to have faith." River whispered, reflecting on how badly the Shepherd had wanted to help Mal restore the beliefs he had once held so dear. Book had known how it felt to be a broken man. He knew that when a man had lost everything, only finding something new to believe in could restore him.
"That he did," Mal agreed. "Said it didn't matter what, just had to find something to have faith in."
"Did you?" River asked. She sat up and looked down at him intently.
Mal gazed up at her thoughtfully.
"I found you," He said simply. "You're Athena, my warrior goddess."
River smiled softly. "Well then, Malcolm Reynolds," She bent down and kissed him, a lingering, loving kiss. When she pulled back, she looked him straight in the eye, her gaze still intent and solemn.
"Everything is going to be alright tomorrow. Everything will happen exactly as it should. Can you have faith in that?"
Mal swallowed. Her words scared him, made him wary for the morning to come. But he didn't press her for an explanation, because he knew she wouldn't give one. Instead, he smiled up at her and nodded, cupping her cheek in his hand.
"Yes. I have faith in you, River Tam."
xxxx
Mal couldn't tear his eyes away from River as she lay there now, in the dirt in front of him.
"Stand down," Croaked the Operative to his soldiers, laying on the ground, his sword at his side and his gun in his hand. Although he'd been shot, he was still coherent and gave orders. All of the soldiers relaxed somewhat, though keeping their weapons trained on the crew. Jayne continued to keep his gun on the solider he had disarmed.
"Doctor, get over there now!" Mal yelled, though Simon didn't need telling, he was already moving before the sentence was out of Mal's mouth. But Mal watched as blood pooling around River's middle as she laid facedown in the dirt and he knew Simon was too late. It wouldn't be enough, it would never be enough.
Mal came to River's side. He heard a sound of anguish, an animal cry of pain. He realized dimly that it was emanating from him. Simon turned his sister over, the red on her chest getting larger, soaking her clothing. It was a shot right to her heart.
"Doc, patch her up!" It was meant to be an order, but Mal felt a sob choke his throat and he had to swallow deeply over it in order to speak. He watched as Simon pulled tools out of his bag, pulled her sweater up and began trying to stop the bleeding. "River," He whispered. She said it was going to turn out alright. She can't have meant this. he watched, feeling more helpless than he ever had before as the Simon held his hands over River's neck, feeling her pulse while holding pressure to the wound on her chest.
Simon kept moving his fingers back and forth from River's wrist and neck. Then he put his hand over her chest and began feeling around.
"Mal..." Simon whispered. His voice sounded a million miles away. Mal remained oblivious for the moment to everything around him, not the doctor, not the soldiers with their guns pointed. Not Jayne holding the guard. Not Zoe, with that blank, soldier look in her face like the one he'd last seen the day she watched her husband die. Not the Operative who lay only metres away from them, gazing at them with his dying eyes.
"Mal, listen!" Simon whispered again urgently, but Mal wouldn't listen. Simon grabbed his arm hard, and Mal wrenched it from his grasp.
"Don't you dare tell me to listen when she's dyin' in front of us, Doctor, how can you be like this with her-" Simon grabbed his arm again and held on with vice like strength.
"Captain Reynolds, Something is wrong here!" Simon hissed in a low voice, so only they could hear. Mal looked up at the use of his title. He shook his head, trying to bring his soldier training back. He forced the madness out of his mind and finally focused his attention to the doctor. Once seeing he had Mal's ears, Simon continued in a low whisper. "Mal. Her pulse is strong. She's alive. She's unconscious, that bang on her head probably gave her a concussion, but she's alive. And this..." Simon touched his finger to River's chest. "Mal, this is blood, but there's no source." He lowered his voice even quieter than before. "She hasn't been shot."
They stared at each other in disbelief. Mal's mind started working. He looked down at River and looked past all the blood to see her shallow, but even breaths.
Everything will happen exactly as it should, River had said.
"Look at her yourself, she's breathing fine. Do you understand what I'm saying?" Simon whispered again. Mal looked at the doctor then back down at River, turning it all around in his mind. He glanced at the blood, still oozing from River. Oozing. But not pulsing, the way a shot to the heart, or an artery would certainly do. And the flow of blood was slowing, yet her breaths continued evenly... Mal glanced over to the Operative, who held his gaze unflinchingly. He was the first to break away, thoughts swirling in his head. He turned back to the doctor.
"She's dead," Mal whispered to Simon, beginning to understand.
"No, Mal," Simon was frantic, "That's what I'm trying to say, she-" Mal interrupted him.
"Doctor! I know exactly what you're sayin'. And you listen to me right now. As far as everyone else on this fucking planet is concerned right now. Jayne, Zoe and every gorram soldier that's starin' at us through the lens of their gun, River is dead. Dong ma?"
Simon stared at him, his mouth gaping, but slowly began nodding. Mal put his hand on his shoulder.
"Now you start treatin' her like you'd treat your dead sister."
At Simon's assent, Mal put his hand on the doctor's shoulder and stood up. He walked slowly over to the Operative. The soldiers who were at his side as he lay dying trained their weapons. One of them a few metres away was radioing for their own doctor, but one glance at the Operative told Mal any doctor would come too late. The operative was a dead man and he knew it too. He nodded to his soldiers and waved them away a distance. Mal knelt down at his side.
"This is the plan. You're the Operative." Mal said. Echoing his words from before. This time however, his words held a completely different meaning.
"It was the only way, Mal," The Operative said, gasping with pain as he did. "I kill River for the Alliance. You kill me so I can't talk, can't debrief. The soldiers will report what they see here, and there will be physical evidence that the girl died."
"River knew. River knows." Mal whispered, correcting himself. Their words the night before made more sense. She had been trying to tell him this would happen, trying to tell him not to worry. The Operative nodded weakly. He grabbed Mal's hand. It wouldn't be long now and he struggled to get his words out.
"They'll let you take her back to your ship, Captain, I made sure of that. They won't question what they've seen. And I've ensured there will be footage of today for the interested parties to view. The alliance will believe she's dead. They'll be angry they don't have a body, so make sure they know there isn't one to come after. Burn..." He gulped desperately for air. "burn some organic material, scatter it on that moon with your other fallen friends, with the pilot and the shepherd. Mourn her. And after you do, when the time is right, take on a new pilot. Another girl, with a new name, a new identity."
"I shot you..." Mal said. He gazed at the man he'd surely killed, not sure how he felt about it. It was too much to process all at once.
The Operative smiled weakly. "You did what you had to do. I have faith in her too, Captain. She gave my life meaning. When my belief in the Alliance was... I decided to believe in her. I did my best to atone for my sins. I hope I've done right by her. Keep her safe. River Tam." With that, the light in his eyes went out.
Mal knelt beside him for a moment, allowing everything to sink in. He looked over at Zoe and Jayne. Zoe had a lone tear running down her face, the only sign of her emotion inside. Jayne's eyes were blank. They believed River was dead. He couldn't let them believe otherwise, not yet. He glanced at Simon. He was making a show of trying to revive River, his motions desperate and frantic, like someone who knew their efforts were in vain, but couldn't stop.
"Jayne." Mal said. "Jayne!" He yelled when he got no response. Jayne looked over at him. "Get her out of here, help Simon. They won't stop us anymore." He looked at the soldier closest to him, who nodded assent, as he knew that he would. Mal took a deep breath. "It's over."
With a murderous glare at the soldier by him, Jayne begrudgingly went over. Simon again, made a show of fighting Jayne, but gave up when Jayne, with incredible gentleness, lifted River into his arms and went back to the mule. Wordlessly, Simon, Zoe and Mal fell in line behind him. The soldiers kept their weapons trained, but did nothing as they sped away, back to the ship. No one spoke.
Inara and Kaylee were waiting for them as the mule docked. They rushed over. Inara's hand flew to her face and her eyes widened as she saw River, laying on the floor of the mule, Simon kneeling beside her. "Oh my god."
"River, honey!" Kaylee fell apart as her eyes went to where Inara was looking. She knelt to the ground of the cargo hold. She looked up at Simon. "Is she...?"
Simon watched her wordlessly, waiting for Mal's orders. Mal was ruthless, he knew he had to be.
"Kaylee, mourn later, now you gotta get us out of here, dong ma?" Kaylee looked at him through the tears that were streaming down her face. She looked like she was going to protest, but then she shut her mouth and nodded. With one last devastated glance at River and Simon, she reluctantly left for the engine room. Mal turned to Simon, understanding between them.
"Take your sister to the infirmary, doctor." Simon nodded and Jayne followed Simon, carrying River. Inara went with them.
Zoe followed Mal to the bridge and was silent behind him as he input coordinates to get them off the god-forsaken planet that had once been his home. He grabbed the helm and set to bringing Serenity out of the atmosphere. He did this silently and methodically. Within minutes they were into the black.
"Sir." Zoe said. She moved from her place behind him to sit beside him. She rested her hand on his shoulder and looked searchingly into his face. Mal looked at Zoe. He saw the grief and concern in her eyes and felt a wave of love for his friend. She'd only learned this morning just how much River meant to him and now...
"Sir, are you okay?" Zoe asked gently. He looked at her a long moment before he gave her a small smile.
"I'm okay," Mal said. "I don't understand everything, not yet, but I'm okay. I surely am." Zoe blinked at him in confusion, obviously thinking he was in some kind of bizarre form of shock. He grabbed her by the hand and pulled her up with him to a standing position.
"Let's go down to the infirmary, I have something to show you."
xxxx
When they arrived, Simon was going through his refrigerator. River was laying on the stretcher by the wall. Her head had a bandage on it, where she had hit it falling to the ground. An IV was running into her arm and a blanket covered her.
"Alright, doctor?" Mal asked, immediately going to River's side. She was still unconscious, but her breaths were coming in even rhythm. Her sweater was off and there was no trace of any blood anymore. She looked like she was just asleep, if one could ignore the bandage hiding the ugly bump on her head. Mal reached out and ran his hand down the side of her face. My girl.
Simon turned upon their entering and gave him a relieved smile. Zoe joined Mal and was staring incredulously. She reached down and felt for River's pulse to find it coming strongly against her fingers. She peeled back the blanket and looked at River's chest, finding it unblemished.
"I gave her a light sedative about half an hour ago." Simon replied. "She started coming to while I was examining her. I sent Inara and Jayne out so they wouldn't see. I didn't know what you... She does have a nasty concussion. I was worried she might have a hematoma in the brain, but I did a quick scan and there's none." He looked at his sister with wonder in his eyes. "No major damage really."
"What is this?" Zoe asked, turning to Mal and Simon.
"Damned if I know all of it," Mal replied. He went to the panel by the door and picked up the comm.
"Everyone to the infirmary, right now," He ordered, then turned back. "We're off planet now, no reason to keep everyone in the dark."
Within a minute, Jayne, Kaylee and Inara all arrived. Kaylee rushed to Simon and hugged him.
"I'm sorry, Simon," She whispered through her tears.
"Kaylee, it's okay," Simon replied, pulling back to look at her. "She's not dead." He pointed her over to where River lay. "See for yourself." Through her tears, Kaylee gazed down at River, her eyes widening.
"Wo de ma, she weren't movin' when I brought her in here," Jayne replied. "I miss somethin'?"
"We all did," Inara answered, puzzled.
Mal gestured to River's sleeping form. "That's the one there who's got the master plan, we'll have to wait until she wakes. Best I can tell is she and that Operative had some kind of plan to make it look like he killed her so we'd believe it, more importantly that the Alliance would believe it."
"Where is he?" Kaylee asked.
"Dead." Mal answered with a dark look. He didn't elaborate and neither Kaylee or Inara asked.
"But all that blood," Zoe pointed out after a moment. "It looked so real. Where did it come from?" Mal stopped. Simon had said it was real blood, back on the surface. He shook his head.
"I think I can answer that," Simon cut in. He gestured to his fridge. "Her blood supply is all gone, I just checked. She must have taken it sometime in the last few days. All that blood on the surface, that was hers. If the Alliance examines it, which I'm sure they will, they'll find it a perfect match for River."
Back when Serenity had broken down, they had returned to find a dying Mal who badly needed a blood transfusion. It had been pure luck that Wash had been a blood type match for Mal and had been able to donate. Everything had worked out that day, but they had been odds Simon was unwilling to gamble with. After that day, Simon had insisted they all periodically give some of their blood. They needed to keep a store of blood to transfuse in case of an emergency. He carefully kept bags of blood on board for every crewmember, typed, screened and ready for use.
"Strengthens the case," Mal mused. Alliance would have footage of River being shot, the reactions of the crew and doctor, and physical evidence still on the surface proving River was dead. And they had no witnesses to interrogate who could claim otherwise.
"But how did she know?" Kaylee burst out. "She's a reader, but she couldn't have known all this before you all went down to the surface!"
"He wrote me a letter," a small voice croaked. Everyone whirled around as the girl in question spoke up. "Inara gave it to me, it's all in there." She smiled weakly at Mal, "You can read it if you want." Mal looked at Inara, surprised. She returned his gaze evenly and nodded.
"She's right, I gave it to her a few days ago." She admitted. "He told me not to tell anyone about it, and I trusted River to make the right judgment. Looks like she did."
"I'm sorry I scared everyone," River whispered. "He thought it was important you all believed I was dead on the surface." She looked at her brother lovingly. "I knew Simon would figure it out right away though."
"I'm just glad I didn't give it away," Simon replied, looking at the monitor to check her vitals and leaning down with a flashlight to look at her pupils. He was indeed relieved he'd played his part well down at the surface.
"So, there ain't no assassin comin' after crazy here anymore?" Jayne asked, just to be sure.
"If it worked, Alliance will think she's dead," Zoe replied, eyeing River. "Mission accomplished."
"Well that's the best outcome, isn't it?" Kaylee exclaimed, her smile bright. "We're all safe, River's safe!"
"That's the shape of it," Mal replied with a slow grin on his face.
"Look, I really do have to insist everyone leave," Simon cut in firmly. "Rest and reduced stimulation are literally the best things for a person after concussion." He smiled. "River will have all the time in the world to celebrate. Later."
He herded everyone to the door after they'd all gone to say goodbye to River.
Mal stayed behind when everyone left, still at River's side. He ignored Simon's fussing behind him for a moment,
"I thought I'd had a scare from you before little one, but that didn't even come close to today," His voice was rough as he bent to gently brush her cheek with his lips. He pulled away and River took his hand.
"You had faith," She replied softly.
"That I did," He agreed tenderly, stroking her wrist. "Was still mighty scared for a while there though. You okay?"
She looked away, her eyes filling with tears. "Another person to die for me." She whispered. Mal flinched with the knowledge that the death was on him. He wasn't sure if he regretted it or not, but he certainly regretted being the source of River's guilt.
"It's okay, Mal," She continued, looking at him, and he knew she was reading his feelings. "It's what had to be done, and it was what he wanted. Not blaming you, just... sad." She reached her hand up and lay it on his cheeks.
"You don't worry 'bout that none, not right now," Mal replied firmly turning and planting a kiss on her wrist. "Doc's right, Darlin,' you get some sleep." He suddenly realized the doctor in question was still in the room. He reluctantly turned away from River to see Simon a few feet away. He was in the process of drawing something up into a syringe, but Mal knew he'd been fully aware of what had just transpired, that casual intimacy between his sister and his captain. He gave Mal an appraising look. Mal met his gaze without flinching.
"Somethin' to say, doc?" He asked mildly. Simon glanced at his sister briefly. Seeming satisfied with what he saw on River's face, he shook his head.
"No..." Simon answered slowly. "No. Please, just give her some space. A few hours at least. She really does need to sleep with this kind of injury, I'm not exaggerating."
Mal nodded, standing up, but not before he squeezed River's hand. "You need anything, I'll be here in a second, you hear? And I'll be here when you wake up, that's a promise." River nodded, smiling. Satisfied, Mal went for the door. He looked back and smiled before exiting.
Simon looked at the door for a while after Mal had left, thinking about what he'd seen. He looked back at his sister, but it was not the time or place to start interrogating her about the Captain. He went and sat beside her.
"I drugged you again," He said with a slight smile on his face.
"Worst doctor ever," She agreed with a giggle. He laughed, then turned serious.
"It was a good plan," Simon told her. "If it weren't for Mal, I would have given it away."
"Needed you there because you'd know right away." River answered. "Everyone played their part. You wouldn't have given it away."
"Did you give yourself that concussion on purpose?" Simon asked suspiciously. He'd been wondering about that ever since this plan had become known to him. River smiled ruefully.
"Needed to be out cold, not moving at all," She confirmed. Simon shook his head, beyond irritated with his sister purposely giving herself a traumatic brain injury.
"I'll spare you the lecture." He said dryly.
"Thank you."
"It's amazing, really," Simon mused, after a few moments of silence. "That man. After everything that's happened, he died for you, didn't he?" River closed her eyes.
"He did." She said simply. When she opened her eyes again, she looked sad, but also at peace. "But he died so I could have a life free of the Alliance. He gave me a chance to love and be happy. So I must honour him by doing just that." She thought back to the conversation her and Mal had so long ago about survivor's guilt.
"Is it over, you think? For real this time?" Simon asked, taking her hand in his. River shrugged.
"They think I'm dead," She answered. "And they'll have evidence that I'm dead on Shadow they can use. But they'll keep tabs on Serenity for a while, just to make sure. And to make sure the crew is going to go on some kind of revenge crusade against the Alliance." Simon nodded, they'd already talked about most of this briefly. And what they hadn't talked about made sense. He wanted to ask more questions, but then realized he'd better follow his own advice. He held up a syringe and couldn't suppress a smile at River's childish pout, the kind only a younger sister could make to her brother.
"It's just some Midazolam to help you get to sleep," Simon soothed. "It'll get you to sleep, help you relax, but it wears off quick and won't leave you feeling foggy once it wears off, okay? It's the same thing I gave you earlier."
"Hate sleeping here." River complained as he began injecting the syringe into her IV.
"Just for one night," Simon promised, and then, in a haughty tone, "I can't say I have a whole lot of sympathy for you, since you're the one who decided to hit your head on that rock." River stuck her tongue out at him and he laughed despite himself.
"I'll come check on you later," Simon promised, then falling silent, seeing that the Midazolam had already done its job, and his sister was fast asleep. He gently extracted his hand from hers, pulled up her blankets and turned out the light.