"Casey!"
She heard her name being called, of course, but was too angry to turn her head. The girl didn't want to talk to anyone, including Emily. Especially Emily.
"Casey!" the voice called again, and Emily grabbed Casey's arm. Inwardly, Casey sighed, but outwardly she gave Emily a half-assed smile. Emily was out of breath, looking at Casey in bewilderment.
"There's something weird going on with you, Casey," Emily stated, eyeing her friend in worry, "You've never been so…out of it. Did something happen?"
I've been dating Derek for the last four months and it's ruining everything, she thought.
"No, Em, nothing's wrong." She lied, fully knowing her best friend would never believe her.
"But—"
"Let it go, Em." Casey said between gritted teeth, and headed into French.
Her teacher greeted her with a smile, and Casey couldn't even muster the energy to smile back. She wanted to sleep. To just get out of the nightmare that was currently her life.
Casey's French class was currently covering a section on the history of France, more specifically its romantic period.
It's official, she thought as her teacher's voice droned, eventually becoming a steady hum in her ears, I'm in hell.
The French class eventually ended, and Casey wanted to get out as fast as possible but her teacher stopped her. She let her shoulders slump, clearly stating how much she did not want to be there.
"Casey," her teacher asked, "is anything wrong?"
"No," she said abruptly, darting away before he could ask anything else.
If anyone else asked her what was wrong, she was going to explode. Really, she was.
o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o
Unaware of Casey's own torments, Derek was in much the same situation she was in. Sam had already queried him on his mood, and so had Ralph, who had stated Derek must be "in a dating slump" or "on his man period".
"Not everyone can stay on top forever, D." Ralph said, completely oblivious to Derek's seething.
His teachers, of course, did not care about his mental/emotional state, for he never cared about theirs. He passed though his classed relatively unscathed.
But then lunch came, and that was where the horrors of his day truly began.
Casey would be there. She would be there, pretending he didn't exist, picking at her weird tofu salad, and making him feel even worse about their current predicament.
Slowly he walked into the lunchroom, fully aware of certain girls' eyes on him. None of them were Casey's. He knew because she was the only one he couldn't find.
Howls and catcalls flew past him as he sat down in a slump, wishing he hadn't chosen to make an appearance—but he was Derek Venturi. He simply had to be there.
Pretending to be interested in Sam's comments, Derek had the slightest twinge of envy toward Casey, who obviously decided to hide in the library.
As nerdy and as lame as it was, he felt he'd rather be with her than here.
o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o
In the library, Casey munched on a carrot stick, reading the first line in her book for the hundredth time. In exasperation, she put her book down. Read? How was she supposed to read at a time like this?
I know what I'll do, Casey thought, with a burst of optimism, I'll write a list of the things I'll say to Derek.
Neatly, on her grape-scented paper, she wrote, Things to tell Derek.
She twisted a strand of hair. He was an utter jerk. Could she write that down? No, they'd start arguing again. Maybe she should tell him how she felt, about his insults.
No, he would make a comment about being overly sensitive.
Their relationship? No, they hardly had one. That was the whole point of the list!
Oh, face it, Casey thought in growing surrender, I don't even know what I'm going to start with.
"Maybe…" she whispered to herself, "Maybe I should remind him of how things were."
She stared down at her paper.
"Maybe I should show him how much we've changed, how this has changed us."
Ohh…
Casey sighed in worry.
But how?
o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o
When the bell rang, signifying the end of his horrific, tiring, all-around shitty day, Derek joined the erratic bustle of students to the parking lot. He just needed to get to the car. Then he could drive home, slam his headphones on, and pretend today never happened.
"Derek!" Sam called.
He stiffened at the call of his name. He knew he had hockey practice today, but really, he didn't even want to be conscious right now.
"Hey, D, forget about practice?" Sam asked, jogging up to him.
"I don't feel well." Derek lied, not even attempting to feign a cough.
"But you have to come! You're captain!"
"Deal with it, Sam, okay? I'm going home." Derek said curtly.
He pulled open the car door, threw his bag in the back, and started the engine. He left without a second glance at his best friend.
o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o
Casey sighed, shutting the door behind her and locking it, finally glad she was alone; no Derek, no parents, no siblings. She'd had the worst day, what with Em watching her like a hawk and having to avoid Derek all day.
Derek. Thank God he had practice. She needed some time to think.
She headed up the stairs, setting her pack on her bedroom floor, deciding to take a bath to help her relax.
The sound of the running water soothed her nerves as she stepped out of her clothing, folding it neatly and setting it on the toilet lid.
Applying a generous amount of bubble bath, she sank into the warmth with a contented sigh.
Surely, with a relaxed mindset, she could think of things to say to him. "You're so complicated, though." She whispered to herself. There was a time when she didn't think Derek, of all people, could possibly be complicated.
The sound of the doorknob jiggling jolted her out of her thoughts.
Before she could even rise out of the water, Derek had successfully infiltrated into her content mood. There was also a time where his presence in this situation was one she wanted. She fought back the memories of the first time it happened.
Somewhat funnily, Derek had been the nervous one, unsure, uncertain. She was the one telling him it was okay.
"Well, hello." Derek said, a smirk growing on his face. He shut the door behind him. "What have we here?"
"Derek!" she growled, crossing her arms, "I don't want to deal with you right now."
Leaning against the wall and sliding down to be level with her, he whispered into her ear, "You sure, Case? We have a few hours." His breath sent tingles down her spine.
"I'm serious!" Casey protested.
Derek rose to his feet suddenly, pretense dropped.
"Fine." He said simply, as he was halfway out the door.
Casey tried to lessen the tension. "I don't need Mom or George walking in on us to top off the day I had, okay?" she said softly.
Derek couldn't resist turning and asking slyly, "What would we be doing?"
"I would be killing. You would be dying." She snapped.
The familiar rumble of their parents' car interrupted them. Perhaps he had been wrong about the amount of time they had.
His eyes regarded her for a moment, as though he wanted to say something serious. There isn't the time for this, you moron, Derek thought to himself. Abandoning the attempt, he left as silently as he entered.
"Great." Casey remarked aloud, "Great."
Suddenly Paul's little assignment just seemed even more difficult.
o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o
Dinner was silent. Casey opted to not eat, despite relentless coaxing from Nora. She stayed locked in her room, not at all comforted by the fact that Derek was really just a floor below her.
She could feel him, his presence, the feelings for him, conflicting, causing a knot to form in her chest. Even when we're not in the same room we're still fighting.
Maybe it was her answer. They were always fighting, and maybe being together wasn't right.
It brought a strong sense of unease to Casey, an unease that drove a sharp stab of pain in her chest.