Twenty Years Later- Bunbunmaru Spirit News archives
Child delinquents found playing with Rokurokubi head!
If there's one thing that having an irritating sister who keeps pushing out eggs has taught me, it's that children are, in fact, pure evil. While adults can fetter themselves, children are only fettered by their parents, and without parental guidance, they become like feral beasts.
While youkai children often are fortunate enough to have their parents or guardians live more than long enough to show them the way, human children often are not so lucky. Being a prey species, human parents often end up eaten, leaving the children to be raised by the village, which, while better than having no parent at all, is no substitute for individual care.
The results of parental death have recently shown themselves in a startling show of cruelty by teenage boys in the human village as I dropped by to check on things there. When I got there, I noticed that Sekibanki, the local Rokurokubi of the Human Village, had lost her head, and her body was knelt on the floor, blindly searching for her head.
When I found it, I noticed that it was being used to play some kind of ball game, and was getting increasingly bloodied. Being the good citizen I am, I used an eddie to take the head for myself and scare off the humans. Sure, I found out later this cause Sekibanki's body to vomit, but it's the thought that counts, right?
Naturally, I then decided to interview the poor woman's head... well, yes, I could have just returned her head to her body, but I needed some material, and social commentary seemed like the perfect thing to do.
Aya: Are you okay?
Sekibanki: I'm... kind of dizzy, but yeah, I'm better than I was.
Aya: What were they doing to you?
Sekibanki: They... they were playing heads and volleys... with my head!
Aya: Heads and volleys... no doubt some sick game concocted by the cruelties of the younger generation.
Sekibanki: Actually, no, it can be played with just a ball, only those psychos use my head as...
Aya: KIDS THESE DAYS! They're all monsters!
Sekibanki: Well, I wouldn't go that far...
Aya: Oh, don't defend them. You've suffered enough, and I'm going to expose this new generation's cruelties to the world!
Sekibanki: I'm pretty sure every generation has had its cruel people, it's not like only young people are evil...
Aya: Oh my, and you're suffering from Stockholm Syndrome! (hugs her head to her chest) Don't worry, Sekibanki, you don't have to justify them. Children are evil, and that's all there is to it!
Sekibanki: (muffled) Breasts... in my face... can't... breathe.
Aya: Oops, sorry. (holds her outwards) Now there's blood on my shirt.
Sekibanki: Anyway, if you could return me to my body, that would be really help.
Aya: First, tell me... what did these monsters say to you?
Sekibanki: Well... they just swiped my head from my body and began throwing it from one to the other, taunting my body, offering it before moving it just out of my body's reach. It was really frustrating, they'd just keep saying 'You want it?' then taking my head away and saying 'you can't have it'. Then they tossed me into the air repeatedly and began to play heads and volleys...
Aya: And in that game, what do you do?
Sekibanki: Score goals against a wall protected by a goalkeeper by either kicking me... er, a ball at it before I... er, it hits the floor, or hitting it into the goal by hitting the ball with your head. (smiles a little) They flinched every time they tried to head me in, so at least there's that.
Aya: I thought that you could make your head fly... how could you let this happen?
Sekibanki: Well, I only really gain power from people being afraid of me... these humans, they don't see my detachable head and run in fear, they just make it a joke! It's not fair!
Aya: Well, fear-based youkai like you don't exactly do themselves any favours by trying to live undercover with humans instead of simply being out and out fear-inspiring, like a true scary person does.
Sekibanki: (begins to cry) Are you blaming me for their sadism?
Aya: Well, would it hurt to refine your scare tactics?
Sekibanki: What do you think me going undercover was? If they don't know what I am, and suddenly, my head rises from my body, they'll jump out of their skin!
Aya: Clearly that act is becoming stale.
Sekibanki: Shut up! Just bring me back to my body.
Aya: Hm, how impolite. Maybe I won't.
Sekibanki: Fine! I'm... I'm grateful you saved me, just... just bring me back to my body, I need to go to the doctor in the bamboo forest...
Aya: As you say... (brings Sekibanki's head to her body, screws it on tight) ...there we are.
Sekibanki: ...why do I taste acid?
Aya: Well, I can't speak from experience, but surely head removal must be pretty nauseating.
Sekibanki: No, I think it was when you caught me up in that miniature tornado of yours. Anyway... goodbye, tengu reporter. Don't think that I don't see you writing in your notepad. (flies away)
Aya: (shrugs) Why does nobody trust me?
Anyhow, as much as I don't want to route for the uncivilised youkai, but they really are losing a grip. It's kind of pathetic, even if I don't really like to think of sad little humans being so scared.
I blame it on the new generation. They just don't take youkai seriously any more, which is ultimately going to work out badly for everyone- the youkai that rely on fear suffer, and ultimately, they suffer when they get eaten by a youkai that they should have by all rights run from.
Gensokyo is changing, and I'm not sure if I like this change. Oh well, I've been through enough of these changes, I'm sure it's nothing. Oh no... the moment I begin to resent changes in the world is the moment I get old, isn't it?
No, that can't be it, I'm still as young and sexy as ever. I'll be taking part in this year's swimsuit edition just to prove that much! This is Pure and Honest Shameimaru, being unsure of what note I should leave this on.
Article written by Aya Shameimaru.
Present-day hindsight: This article was like, super-recent, so, like, I'm getting inclined to agree with Aya's first suggestion... she's, like, getting old!
Don't get me wrong, it like, takes forever for tengu to age, but, we're like, both over a thousand now, and Aya's older than me by a few hundred years. I think she's just past her prime. I can't wait until she's over two thousand and getting grey hairs. That'll be totally hilarious!
Another hindsight: I am not getting old. Hatate's just jealous she's still a stupid little girl.