Author's Note:
Sorry this took so long! It has been crazy hectic at school, and I was struggling with parts of this chapter. I wanted to make sure that everything feels natural and not incredibly forced. I appreciate all your reviews! They really motivate me and let me know that there are people who are enjoying this story. Things will be moving a little more quickly soon, so get ready!
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.
PART ONE
Chapter Twelve: Options
Sasuke sparred with Hinata for the better part of an hour. Now that he had more chakra in his system, he was giving her a harder time. Even though it was only the lowest chakra seal, the difference was astounding. The amount of chakra that had been released made him feel more like himself, even if it was still a low amount.
Now, with the amount that he had in his system, it felt more like he'd been sparring all day without any rest instead of the fatigue he had felt before.
"So, after I beat you in this match, you're going to get my sword back, right?" Sasuke smirked.
Hinata huffed, trying to feign offense when she really wanted to laugh.
"Who said anything about you beating me today?" Hinata asked, with a giggle barely contained in her voice. "If I remember correctly, I said I can bring it to you for training purposes. That means it needs to be locked away when we're not training." Hinata said, spinning to block Sasuke's incoming onslaught.
"Hn." Sasuke grunted, not exactly pleased with her flippant response at his expense. "So you're saying I only get to use my sword when you allow me to." Sasuke grumbled, trying to hide his irritation.
"No, others will be able to get the sword out for you, like the ANBU or Naruto. People that know you spar and either observe or practice with you." Hinata a clarified, pushing around Sasuke's jab to hit him right in the chest.
Sasuke grunted at the blow. "And that means it's not when I decide to use it, but when others decide to let me." Sasuke said bitterly, grabbing Hinata by the arm that had just hit him. Twisting her around by her arm until he had it pinned against her back, Sasuke's face fell. He had been enjoying this spar, but knowing that his sword was going to be used as another way to control him did not make him feel better about his situation.
"Well," Hinata's face scrunched up in concentration, she needed to choose her next words carefully, or all progress with Sasuke would prove pointless very quickly. He was like a scared doe, in that he spooked easily from human contact, whatever kind it was, he didn't want it. "It's more so that you have checks and balances. It makes sure that you can't abuse your power, but it gives you a little more freedom. You'll be able to ask for it for practice, but the ANBU, or whoever you're sparring with, will have to put it away when you're done."
Sasuke snorted, "Meaning I'll be treated like I'm a child."
Hinata shook her head, tempted to roll her eyes. She was getting irritated with his persistent view of playing the victim.
Elbowing him in the gut, Hinata spun out of Sasuke's grip when he released her out of reflex.
"You could look at it as an opportunity to gain more trust." Hinata suggested with a shrug. "Hokage-sama even said that he was working on your 'other request,' which means if you handle this well, you'll probably get whatever you asked for." Hinata smiled, trying to reassure Sasuke that cooperating was the best option.
Sasuke seemed to consider that for a moment, contemplating his options. If he played this correctly, he could end up having Hinata in his house, with her trusting him, and her feeling like she owed him. That could lead to her helping him out of the village when he was finally able to escape.
An image of Hinata helping him in other ways flashed before his eyes, which was odd. He didn't think of her that way. He was certain of it. Sasuke's denial seemed to only make it worse, because then he was imaging running his hands through her hair, and kissing her deeply.
What the hell? Sasuke was floored by the thought. Obviously there was something wrong with him.
Hinata noticed that Sasuke was appearing more and more distracted, and somewhat distraught. Before she could think better of it, she took that opportunity to strike. Darting forward, Hinata slammed an open palm into Sasuke's chest.
The abrupt contact alarmed Sasuke, making his eyes go wide. He'd allowed himself to be distracted at the wrong moment. Throwing himself into motion, Sasuke flipped backwards, using the momentum from the hit to propel him further away from Hinata. Masking his confusion as disinterest, Sasuke tried to play off the hit as if he had let her take the shot.
"I thought you could use the win," he said sharply, avoiding eye contact with Hinata. "Given your situation and the way you looked when you go there."
Hinata raised an eyebrow at Sasuke. "And what does that mean?"
Sasuke gestured at Hinata, thrusting a hand in her direction. "You know, with the whole looming arranged marriage thing." Sasuke said, not realizing how insensitive that actually came off.
Hinata bristled, instantly regretting telling him anything. "I'm under a lot of pressure right now, and I shouldn't have shared that information with you."
Sasuke flinched. "I didn't mean it that way. I just meant, you seemed upset, and that it makes sense."
Hinata grunted dismissively, sounding an awful lot like Sasuke. She crossed her arms in front of her chest, wanting to remove herself from this situation and Sasuke's presence in general.
Unsure how he had put his foot in his mouth so badly, Sasuke moved slowly closer to Hinata. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it that way." Sasuke said, unable to look at Hinata's face. Guilt filling his belly.
Shrugging off the apology, Hinata took a step closer to Sasuke, realizing she overacted. "I'm sorry, I'm…" Hinata trailed off, unsure of how much she wanted to share. "I'm a little touchy about that still. I had blocked it out through my whole mission, only to be slapped in the face with it as soon as I got home." Hinata brought her hands to her face, covering it so Sasuke couldn't see how upset she really was.
Before Hinata knew it, she was venting and spilling it all out to Sasuke. "My father was waiting for me as soon as I got home. I've been avoiding him ever since I found out that he sent out letters about marrying me off—which I feel guilty about, but the other option is arguing with him about it, and I don't want to do that." Hinata threw her hands up. "I just don't even know what to do. And, of course, the first thing he said to me was that I will be having dinner with some suitors tonight, which is infuriating. I don't even get to decide things on my own schedule!"
Hinata huffed and collapsed to the ground. The feeling of defeat weighing down on her as she stared at the almost knee length grass.
"I just feel like I'm being robbed of another choice in my life after I was finally feeling like I was getting to go on my own path." Hinata sighed, closing her eyes and letting the thought sink in. She had been moving on her own path since Neji died, and this arranged marriage thing disrupted that in the biggest way possible.
Opening her eyes, Hinata realized she possibly overshared with Sasuke, because he looked shocked and at a loss for words. Hinata hadn't expected him to respond with some sort of wisdom, she just needed to get her feelings out, because they had been filling up all the space in her chest and weighing her down with the sheer power of her emotions.
Sasuke, unsure of what to do with himself, looked away from Hinata and towards the sky. As if that would somehow give him a way to respond. He understood being stifled by emotions to the point that he felt like he was drowning in them at times. He just wasn't sure how to help with that.
The fact that he wanted to help at all confused him. Sure, Sasuke was trying to get Hinata to trust him and help him eventually, which meant he needed to act like he wanted to help her, but for some reason it wasn't feeling like an act anymore.
Her hands crunching the grass as she pushed herself back up to her feet, Hinata decided to let Sasuke off the hook. They were becoming closer friends, but he didn't have advice for her, and that was ok. She didn't need advice, she just needed someone to listen.
Waving off his concern, Hinata found herself comforting Sasuke. "I didn't mean to go off like that. I'm not normally like this." Hinata shrugged.
Sasuke chuckled at that. "Rage will make you do that."
Eyebrows knitting together, Hinata assessed Sasuke's response. She hadn't thought of an actual name for these bubbling emotions in her chest, but rage made a lot of sense. She just wasn't very familiar with it.
Hinata tilted her head in thought. "That makes a lot of sense, actually."
Sasuke snorted. "You're something else, Hyuuga."
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Hours later, Hinata found herself grateful that Sasuke hadn't provided advice, and just listened. It was, oddly enough, exactly what she needed. Getting advice would have felt condescending, especially from someone that would never understand her actual predicament.
Now that she was getting ready for dinner, she needed to hold onto that sentiment, because she wanted to be as far from here as possible. The fact that Sasuke was starting to be more like a friend to her, was encouraging. It meant that her efforts were working, which was more than she could say for most things in her life at the moment.
Hinata sighed, staring at herself in her mirror.
As soon as she arrived home, branch member maids were waiting for her. Apparently her father had ordered them to make sure that she dressed appropriately for dinner tonight. This was something she was familiar with for when the Hyuuga entertained foreign ambassadors or leadership from equally powerful clans from other villages. Still, it felt different this time because it was for the purpose of marrying her off to one of the suitors, who were from different villages and countries.
Normally, a dinner of entertaining guests was awkward. It set her nerves on fire because of worrying about doing or saying the wrong thing. This felt like that, only ten times worse, because she had to pretend that she was interested and happy. Which, normally, pretending to be interested in conversation with dignitaries was easy, because she was. Hinata was not interested in marrying any time soon though, so that would be hard. Feigning interest in becoming a wife that ran a household and had babies, when all she wanted to do was be an ANBU Captain.
The one plus in all this was that the kitchen usually was pulling out all the stops and making the best food that they possibly could for the dinner.
If she could get through this tonight, then she could talk to Kakashi tomorrow, and see if he found anything. Or if he had any long missions that he could send her on that were a long time commitment. Anything to get her out of the Hyuuga compound.
Sighing, Hinata watched as one of the maids gathered her hair into sections and placed ornate combs in her heavy locks. She hated when they did her hair this way, because it pulled and tugged at her scalp. It was painful, but she knew they were only doing their job. Her hair always ended up looking pretty when they did it this way, it just wasn't like her, at all.
When Hiyori finished with Hinata's hair, she set her hands on Hinata's shoulders, jolting Hinata out of her reverie. Her eyes went wide with alarm for a moment, before settling down. "My apologies, Hinata-sama, but it is time to go down," the woman had a calming and even voice that Hinata had always appreciated, especially after her mother had died.
"Thank you, Hiyori-san," Hinata muttered, pushing herself up from her vanity. Hinata bowed quickly and followed her maid out of her room, her stomach sinking as she went.
Hinata hesitated for a moment in the hallway, her feet feeling like lead. "Hiyori-san…" Hinata trailed off, unsure of herself.
"What is it, Hinata-sama?" Hiyori smiled, her wrinkled face crinkling.
Hinata shook her head, deciding against asking about the suitors that were waiting downstairs for her. "Nothing. Thank you." Hinata forced a calming smile. She didn't need anyone thinking that she had any hesitations.
"If you say so," Hiyori bowed, her long grey hair sliding over her shoulder.
Taking a breath, Hinata assessed herself, and took stock of all of the thoughts that were bouncing around in her head. She didn't want to be here, but that didn't matter. She felt ridiculous in such an ornate kimono, but it wasn't her decision.
Hinata was also pretty sure that her father had chosen the deep purple kimono that had silver thread lining the edges, and a design of white and pink blossoms scattered across the cloth. It looked like she had blossoms tossed on her, and some had stuck while others had fallen to her feet. The matching obi was pink with white and silver ties.
Hinata felt out of sorts in it.
It was far too colorful and dramatic for her taste.
Hinata preferred more soothing or neutral colors. She would have at least preferred a lighter colored kimono. This felt like too much for her. Dressing this way made her feel like she was pretending to be someone she wasn't or she was a child wearing their mother's clothes.
It just wasn't Hinata.
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Gaara waiting for her at the dinner table had been a shock for Hinata.
She had been under the impression that all of the possible suitors would be people that she had never met. Seeing Gaara's flaming red head of hair there had been alarming and somehow soothing. Seeing him made her feel less out of sorts, but the idea of marrying her felt like she had been dosed in cold water.
"Are you not hungry, Hinata-chan?" Gaara murmured from his seat beside her, worry creasing his forehead.
Hinata and Gaara had become fast friends during the war. Only friends. Hinata was fairly certain that it was because of Naruto too, which made this feel even more weird.
"I'm fine, Gaara-sama, thank you."
Glancing around the table, Hinata took note of her suitors. A good number of them were obviously bothered by the Kazekage's presence at the table. Hinata was sure that how familiar Gaara was with her didn't help. It suggested that they were more than friends.
At the very head of the table sat Hiashi, looking absolutely livid.
Hinata grimaced. It wasn't her fault that the other suitors were bothered by the presence of someone else that she knew. She hadn't invited any of them. Hinata would have preferred none of them being in her home at the moment.
Forcing herself to remain calm, Hinata tried to casually eat her food while observing the suitors around her. There was a man speaking animatedly with her father, or at least, speaking at her father. Hiashi did not appear interested in anything the man had to say, but nodded whenever there was a pause in the conversation. He was attractive, and vaguely reminded Hinata of Naruto, if Naruto was extremely selfish and wealthy. Hinata was pretty sure she had heard him introduce himself as Takeuchi Taiga to Hanabi, but she wasn't sure.
Hinata flinched when she saw the man laugh and slap her father on the back.
Shaking her head, Hinata looked at the man sitting next to her and on her father's other side. He was quietly eating his dinner, and looked rather bored. He was obviously wealthy too, but Hinata couldn't place where he was from. He was wearing ornate clothing and had brown haired tied back into a long ponytail. He seemed handsome too, but there was something off putting about him. The way he seemed focused and clinical about everything around him.
Hinata took note and decided to find out his name so she could tell her father that she did not want it to end up being this one. She just wasn't sure why. As Hinata thought about this, the man looked up and met her eyes with piercing green eyes.
Smirking, he nodded in Hinata's direction.
Hinata felt her cheeks burn with embarrassment. Now the man would think she was interested. The petite Hyuuga held in a groan.
Across from herself was a man that had introduced himself as Ryuki when she had first sat down. Just, Ryuki. He seemed nice enough, pretty too, but eccentric. With white hair and purple eyes, Hinata wasn't sure that she had ever seen someone like him. He wore layers and layers of clothing, and made Hinata's kimono look bland.
Hinata watched as he picked at his food with a wrinkled nose. He appeared extremely disinterested in his surroundings.
Glancing down the table to Gaara's other side, Hinata tried to get Hanabi's attention. Hinata had hoped that Hanabi would take some of the pressure off of her when it came to talking to the suitors at dinner, but Hanabi was being extremely obstinate. To the point that she had yet to look up at all since she sat down.
To say that dinner was going badly, would be an understatement.
Hinata resisted lifting the linen tablecloth and crawling under the table. She desperately wanted to hide, but there was still at least half of the meal left.
"Ryuki-san, where was it you said you were from?" Hinata tried her best at making conversation.
Ryuki smiled politely and shook his head. "I didn't," he chuckled, "but I'm from a village in the Land of Snow." Ryuki smiled in good nature, obviously not offended by Hinata's question.
"How was your journey?" Hinata tried again, her face burning.
"It was alright, Hyuuga-san. It's still autumn, so the snow wasn't bad. I was surprised when I got to Konoha, I had been told that it would be extremely hot, but this isn't that bad."
Hinata smiled, "Well, it's been unseasonably cool lately, but we're nothing compared to Suna, right Gaara?"
Gaara nodded slowly.
Hinata waited for a moment, expecting Gaara to contribute to the conversation, but Gaara returned to his dinner.
Sighing, Hinata decided to focus on her dinner as well. She didn't want to get married anyway, so why bother with trying to get to know any of them anyway.
"Hyuuga-san, I was told that you are a shinobi. Is this true?" Ryuki asked, his nose wrinkled in disgust.
Hinata nodded, feeling somewhat uncomfortable. "Yes, I am."
"Oh, really? That's fascinating." Taiga said, sounding condescending at the end of the table. Leaning back in his chair, he rolled his eyes and laughed at Hinata's expense.
Hanabi took that opportunity to chime in, sensing where this line of conversation was going. "Do you think women cannot be shinobi, Takeuchi-san?" Hanabi asked, her demeanor calm but her voice livid.
Takeuchi Taiga laughed in response. "Of course not, it's ridiculous. How're they supposed to defend themselves? Their women! It's dangerous and irresponsible."
Smirking, Hanabi pushed herself away from the table and stared Taiga down. "Is that a challenge?"
"Hanabi, don't." Hinata hissed, leaning forward and trying to grab her sisters arm.
"Are you suggesting that my sister, Hinata, is incapable of being a shinobi?" Hanabi sneered.
Taiga roared with laughter. "Of course not, I mean—look at her." Taiga waved a muscled arm in Hinata's direction. " She can't possibly fight a man."
Hanabi jumped to her feet and pointed a kunai at the laughing man. "Hinata-nee-chan could kill you before you even s—!"
"Hanabi!" Hinata jumped up in alarm, sounding shocked. "Please! Sit down." Hinata hissed, leaning towards her sister.
Hanabi snatched her arm away from Hinata, almost elbowing Gaara in the eye. The Kazekage didn't seem to even notice, just continued to eat his dinner as if the world wasn't exploding around him.
"Hinata can kick your ass, anytime, anyplace!" Hanabi shouted. "You just name it, you so—!"
"Hanabi! That is enough!" Hinata hissed, snatching Hanabi's arm and pulling her away from the table. Hinata glanced back at Taiga, who was still laughing, and to her father who looked beyond furious. "I'm sorry Takeuchi-san. Hanabi is very young still and doesn't—"
"I am not young! I am a chunnin!" Hanabi snatched her arm out of her sister's grasp again and pointed at Takeuchi. "You've been in a war and this asshole is acting like you can't take care of yourself!" Hanabi snarled, ready to pounce.
"Hanabi." Hinata snapped, her voice serious and taking on a quality that Hanabi rarely heard from her—that of a mother that has met the end of her rope. "That is enough." Hinata said without turning around, her voice sounding stern and commanding.
Hanabi froze for a moment before sitting herself back down and returning to shoveling food in her mouth. Hanabi was incredibly protective of her younger sister. Anyone speaking down to her, or ill of her, made Hanabi's blood boil.
"Now," Hinata smiled, "Where were we?" Hinata sat back down in her seat again, Gaara helping her in.
"I believe we were discussing whether or not you are a shinobi." Ryuki unhelpfully supplied.
"She is," Gaara deadpanned. "and I'd trust her with my life."
That seemed to satisfy the table, because Ryuki and the other man nodded their heads while Taiga rolled his eyes. That was enough for Hinata though. Gaara suggesting that he would be willing to rely on her made her insides warm. It was nice to be trusted and noticed by someone she called a friend, especially since that friend was someone who could command a room.
"Thank you, Gaara-san." Hinata whispered, as the table returned to amicable conversation.
Gaara nodded his head and returned to his meal, ignoring the buzzing conversation around him.
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The rest of dinner had been relatively boring. The only other comparably awkward moment had been when the man Hinata didn't know the name of had come over and kissed her hand while thanking her for the meal. Hinata learned from one of the maid's his name was Nakagawa Kaito. Hinata was glad she found out his name, because his words had made her feel as though she was covered in slime, and his kiss had sent a sickening chill up her arm.
There was just something about him that made her uncomfortable, and Hinata wanted to make certain that whoever she ended up with, was not him.
Now that it was well into the night, Hinata was glad that dinner was over, and found herself seeking comfort in the family's gardens. Even though there was a chill in the air, and the inky darkness made it difficult to see the garden's beauty, Hinata still found comfort in walking down the path.
That is, until she noticed she was being followed.
"Are you going to join me, Gaara-sama? Or remain at a distance?"
Gaara emerged from the darkness to join her. "I wasn't sure if you wanted to be alone or not—I didn't want to bother you."
Hinata smiled. "You are never a bother, Gaara-sama." Hinata gestured for him to walk beside her, and he acquiesced.
"Why are you out here?" Hinata asked, watching her bare feet as she remained on the stone path.
"I could ask you the same." Gaara replied.
Hinata resisted the urge to roll her eyes. "I needed to think."
"About?"
"My…situation." Hinata hesitated, faltering in her trek along the path. "I do not wish to marry." Hinata sighed. "I want to remain a shinobi, inside Konohagakure."
Gaara nodded. "I know, which is why I came."
Hinata glanced at Gaara warily. "Really?" Hinata continued to move along the path, her feet moving deftly.
"I came to offer you an amicable option." Gaara began. Hinata felt her heart stop. "I know you wish to remain a shinobi, I can offer that. We are friends, and amicable. I am told that you are attractive, which would be beneficial when we inevitably had children. You would be able to visit Konoha as often as you like, just like my sister, Temari." Gaara glanced at Hinata, assessing her reaction to his words.
"I admit, I am not interested in you in that way, but I am also in need of a wife. I will need at least one child someday, but you would be free to do as you please." Gaara tried to smile, but failed. "I would not dishonor you and sleep with another, I am not interested in such things," Gaara admitted. "I figured, since we are friends, this would be an amicable and logical solution."
Hinata took in a breath and let it out slowly, trying to keep herself from shaking. "I appreciate your friendship Gaara, but I can't…" Hinata trailed off.
"It's alright if you do not have an answer for me now, take your time. I will be returning to Suna tomorrow, but I travel to Konoha often." Gaara folded his hands behind his back. "It is simply an option for you to consider if you find yourself without something else, Hinata-chan." Gaara supplied, nodding his head.
Hinata stared at him, full of uncertainty. This made absolutely no sense to her, but she appreciated the fact that Gaara considered her a good friend and would even think to give her such an option.
"Thank you, Gaara-sama." Hinata said, after some time.
Gaara simply nodded, and continued to walk with Hinata through the garden until dawn.
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More often than not, Sasuke found himself woken by his nightmares. This was a typical occurrence for him, even before he returned to Konoha, but lately, they have been escalating in frequency, and in how disturbing they have been.
Tonight, he woke himself up screaming after the standard dream of coming home to dead and decomposing parents. The fact that they were dead was something that he accepted a long time ago, but he still struggled with the idea of it being his fault. When he was younger he blamed his brother, recently he thought he blamed Konoha, but now he wasn't so sure. Or at least he wasn't as sure in his dreams.
Sasuke shook his head.
It didn't make sense to lay in bed covered in sweat, pondering where to place the fault.
Sitting up, Sasuke pushed a hand through his thick hair. He needed to get a haircut soon. It was starting to brush his shoulders in the back, and the sides stuck out at odd angles. He was pretty certain he didn't even have scissors in his house. The fact that they couldn't even trust him with scissors was ridiculous, but not surprising.
Picking himself up off his dark grey bed spread, Sasuke glanced out the window to see that it was early morning. Still a couple hours until dawn, but at least he slept past midnight.
Pressing the heels of his hands to his eyes, Sasuke padded barefoot to the bathroom connected to his room. If he was up this early, he might as well shower and be comfortable before Hinata showed up.
Once in the bathroom, Sasuke turned on the shower and stripped down. He needed to find out whether Hinata would be moving in with him soon or not. The fact that Kakashi was toying with him about this was infuriating, but he needed to know. It was the only way he'd be able to continue moving forward with his plan.
Stepping into the shower, Sasuke made a decision. Either way, he would move forward it would just depend on whether or not he had Kakashi's assistance.
Sasuke continued to etch out his plan as he showered, the warm water beating against his back turned cold by the time he stepped out, his plan complete. Today, he would find out if Kakshi was willingly helping him, or if he needed to force his hand.
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Author's Note:
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