Spit It Out

by varg.grimoire

Sanji has repelled love for his entire life as countless events destroyed his trust in it. Unable to deal with his emotions, he indulges in the pleasures of the flesh with random strangers while Zoro, his childhood best friend, is left aside to watch. They share the dream of bringing their metal band to a professional level, but their hearts and minds will make it ever so hard.

11. Chapter 11

A/N: Hello, lovelies! Thank you for bearing with me and my late updates! First of all, I've been busy for an entire week between work and preparing my cosplay for Romics con, and that took an whole week of work away from writing, but apparently it was much needed since I managed to write A LOT in the following week and a half. So here it is, finally, this damn chapter 11! Since this is going to be partly from Sanji's POV it was tricky for me to write and get into his mindset, but in the end I managed to tell the story from his perspective.

As I had previously warned everyone, I've changed the title from Lilium to Spit It Out. Why, you ask? The simple answer could be because writers can be changeable, and I for one I am very mutable – but not unreliable, that's different. Every time I plan something that I'm going to write, along the road I always find things that can better the story or change it completely (always sticking to the main plot and everything, of course), as for this story, originally some very different events were going to change Sanji's and Zoro's lives, but as I typed up the first chapters I thought about changing certain things and completely erasing others. The more complex explanation is that Spit It Out can be read in two different ways, one being the proper act to confess something that you've been bottling up inside for a long time, and the other is the song by IAMX that Sanji refused to sing because it was too sentimental, for his taste. So yeah, that's why the title's been changed.

I'VE SPOKEN TOO MUCH, SO A QUICK THANK YOU TO YOU BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE WHO ARE READING AND COMMENTING THIS STORY, AND A BIG KISS FROM ME! ENJOY!

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Chapter 11

Sanji couldn't tell what was the time when everyone said goodbye to each other in front of Franky's house, especially since he had cozily dozed off inside the van while lying his head on Zoro's shoulder. They had bickered about Sanji drooling on Zoro's coat, but only for a few seconds, and only jokingly.

After the fight over Bartolomeo's indelicacy Sanji had come down from the hype of the show, even if he had forgiven Zoro he felt a little numb, probably because he was so exhausted.

Once they had hopped off the van and Sanji had followed Luffy and Ace towards the car, Zoro had lagged behind with Franky who looked like he was keeping his tail between his legs.

"Tired?" Luffy asked as he slowly walked beside Sanji.

"Yeah, but the nap did me some good." Sanji replied with a soft smile.

"You've been amazing, tonight, you know?" Luffy went on, and Sanji couldn't help but knit his eyebrows together.

"Thank you!" Sanji blinked, taken aback. Luffy didn't usually compliment him like that, surely he always told everyone as a group that they had done a splendid job, but to go and tell Sanji something like that was unusual, though much appreciated. Sanji smiled again and raised his eyebrows "You've been awesome yourself!"

Luffy grinned "Of course! That's because I'm gonna be the best bassist in the whole world!"

Sanji couldn't help but chuckle at that, but he knew that Luffy believed in himself and his capacities, and could definitely fulfill his dream. "Yes, you will." Sanji wrapped an arm around Luffy's neck and pressed a kiss to his temple. He adored that kid so much.

"Oi lovebirds," Zoro's voice made Sanji flinch just slightly "done flirting?"

Sanji arched an eyebrow and looked back at Zoro "Says the muscle head who's been making out with our roadie 'til now."

Luffy snorted at those words, while Zoro rolled his eyes.

"Guys." Ace called out for them, and everyone stopped in their tracks to look at him, who was suddenly behind them "you're aiming for the wrong car." he said as he pointed at his vehicle.

There was a choir of Oh's and everyone walked back to Ace's car in mild embarrassment.

"That's all your fault, Marimo," Sanji muttered before getting into the car "you infected us with your orientation impairment."

"Fuck off!" Zoro growled as Sanji sniggered under his breath.

There was something extremely relaxing in getting into the backseat of Ace's car and leaning against the Marimo, he could have fallen back asleep if no one was going to speak to him.

"Don't you dare drool on me again." Zoro threatened right away.

Sanji cocked an eyebrow as he looked at Zoro with a judging expression "That's part of your punishment, suck it up."

Zoro pressed his lips together and then let out a sigh before resting back against the carseat. A shit eating grin spread on Sanji's lips as he threw both legs over Zoro's lap and got as comfortable as he could.

The Bartolomeo incident had shaken Sanji from the inside, so much that he had thrown up from nervousness while he was still alone in the bathroom. It wasn't just remembering all the jeering faces from his past that had ruined those that were supposed to be his merrier years, it was seeing and hearing Zoro laugh at him, just like everyone else had always done – that broke his heart.

Zoro had always been the only person not to laugh at the teasing, the endless jokes and verbal abuse, he had knocked someone's teeth off once for making Sanji silently cry between classes. In that moment in which Bartolomeo had made fun of him and Zoro had laughed at his joke, he suddenly became one of the bullies, he had become like everyone else and that hurt more than a hundred stabs to the chest.

Sanji had nearly started dozing off, bad, hurtful thoughts completely drained out of his mind and leaving a comfortable emptiness that was slowly pushing him into a slumber, when he felt a squeeze to his calf and immediately perked up.

"Oi..." Zoro was looking at him with his usual frown, he didn't look more concerned than normal.

"Hm?" Sanji hummed as he readjusted himself on the carseat, in his sleepy state he had started to slouch and his back had ended up being in an awkward position.

"How come you still ended up coming to my place?" a sharp eyebrow rose as Zoro spoke "I thought you were gonna celebrate our success in your favorite way and... Make a fan happy or something?"

Sanji's eyes widened. Why did Zoro have to be so blunt? Couldn't he just shut up and enjoy Sanji's precious presence? What a dumb bastard. There was just no way he was going to admit that for some still unknown reason, as of lately, he didn't have much desire to spend time in a stranger's bed, especially not after such an important night. Also the fact that Sanji's cheeks had turned a bright shade of pink was definitely just because Ace's car was ridiculously hot.

"I'm tired as fuck, Marimo." Sanji stated, dry "And someone pissed me off, so I gotta pay them back." he added with a cocked eyebrow.

Zoro stiffened slightly, pursing his lips as he glanced down at Sanji's legs in his lap. He looked guilty and Sanji somewhat appreciated the fact that he hadn't forgotten too quickly.

"And tomorrow I have to go to the Baratie, then there's the party," Sanji went on with a shrug "I need to save some energy."

Zoro looked back up at Sanji "Good thing you're not sleeping in Luffy's bed, then."

Sanji snorted, and just when he was about to open his mouth to reply, Luffy turned around to yell.

"Again with this story! I only kicked in my sleep when I was a kid!"

At the same time Luffy's shout had startled Ace so bad that he nearly drove up the sidewalk, making Sanji almost jump on Zoro's lap from fear.

"Fuck! Luffy! Don't yell like that so suddenly!" Ace scolded his brother and slammed his fist down into Luffy's thigh.

"Ow, Ace! Stop it!" Luffy knew better than to hit his older brother while driving, but Sanji could clearly read murder in his eyes.

"Are you alright?" Zoro asked as he looked at Sanji.

"Yeah, yeah." Sanji heaved out a sigh.

"I told you not to eavesdrop while people speak!" Zoro growled as he smacked Luffy behind the head.

"Stop hitting me! Fuck!" Luffy cried out as he held his head in his hands.

Sanji couldn't really bite back a small smirk, he couldn't deny how much he loved that bunch of idiots, even when they beat each other up, being with them was homey and it made him feel good.

"Could you please not crash us into a pole or something?" Zoro asked in a monotone as he watched his brothers beating each other while one of Ace's hands was still on the steering wheel.

"I'll stop when he'll stop!" Luffy growled before turning to look at Zoro "There's something for you, too!" Luffy announced as be lounged towards Zoro and punched him in the chest.

"You little shit!" Zoro groaned and grabbed Luffy's arm, twisting it until he was crying out in pain.

"Jesus fucking Christ, guys!" Sanji snarled as he separated Zoro and Luffy, then placed his hands on each of their faces and kept them apart "We're in a car, stop it!"

Ace snorted and glanced back at Sanji with a smirk.

"What?" Sanji barked.

"It's funny how the tables turn," Ace commented with a shrug, eyes glued on the street as he drove around the corner "usually Luffy and I are the ones to break you and Zoro apart."

Sanji arched an eyebrow, skeptical "Your point being?"

Ace shrugged a shoulder "Maybe you're starting to be more civilized with each other."

"Don't count on it," Zoro started and Sanji's head whipped in his direction "he already said that he's gonna knee me in the balls later. He's an animal."

"You jerk!" Sanji growled, and as he let go of Luffy's face he nearly straddled Zoro to try and strangle him.

"Yep," Ace sighed "nevermind."

The fight simmered down to a tickling battle that Zoro won way too easily, since Sanji was cursed with the most ticklish body ever, and when Ace stopped the car Sanji was completely flustered and out of breath.

"Dude," Ace started as he looked back at Zoro and Sanji "if I didn't know better I'd say that you've definitely used my backseat the right way." he grinned smugly and Sanji whacked him over the head.

"Shut up, you idiot!" Sanji barked as he failed to open the car door on the first try.

"Wait," Zoro said softly as he reached across Sanji's lap to open the door himself "it's being a little faulty lately. We should oil it up or something." he explained as he forced the handle, his voice hoarse with effort and the prolonged laughter.

For some reason Sanji's heart had skipped a beat once Zoro had practically lied in his lap. The amount of heat radiating from Zoro's body was absolutely absurd, and just feeling the cold air from the outside Sanji would have forced Zoro to just stay where he was and curl up with him.

Finally, after a few yanks, the handle gave in to Zoro and the door opened "There. This thing is a real bitch." Zoro mumbled as he hovered Sanji's lap for a few extra seconds, still glaring at the car door.

Sanji couldn't help the small smile that curled his lips "Are you comfortable down there?"

Immediately, Zoro looked up at Sanji with a terrified expression "What the fuck?" he sputtered out as he braced himself on his hands "I was just–"

Sanji's smile developed into a shit-eating grin as he playfully scratched behind Zoro's ear "Who's a good boy? Huh?" he cooed, fingers running over the shell of Zoro's ear until they grazed his three earrings, making them click together.

Zoro's face warped in an indescribable expression, a dark blush tinted his ears and cheekbones before he could violently rear back and end up falling into the space between the seats. "Kn-knock it off, bastard! I'm not a dog!"

Sanji threw back his head as he barked out a laugh at the Marimo's reaction. God it always took so little to embarrass his stupid head. "I'll give you a belly scratch, later." Sanji teased again as he reached out to softly tug on one of Zoro's earrings.

Zoro flared his nostrils, clearly hesitating before slapping Sanji's hand away "Stop!"

"Are you ever gonna come out of my fucking car?" Ace asked as his face suddenly appeared in one of the car doors "I'll leave you to sleep here."

"Man, you guys are no fun at all." Sanji rolled his eyes and watched as Zoro awkwardly tried to get out of the car from his position and miserably falling on the concrete ass first, causing everyone to laugh hysterically. "Okay, okay!" Sanji wiped off a tear from his eye "I take it back!"

Once the boys poured inside the house, making sure that Mihawk and Shanks weren't around, they decided whether they should have just gone to sleep or have a snack or a cup of coffee together to discuss the night. Useless to say that between Ace being extremely restless and Luffy's stomach roaring like an enraged lion, Zoro and Sanji agreed to have a night snack and a chat before bed.

They all gathered inside the kitchen, Zoro and Luffy sat down at the table first, while Sanji went to make them a couple sandwiches, and since Ace kept walking aimlessly around the room, Sanji yelled at him to at least make himself useful and brew some coffee.

"The fuck is wrong with you? Did something bite you?" Sanji sneered, cigarette quivering between his lips and eyes focused on removing the crust from the slices of bread.

Ace shot him a side glare, then went back to set the mocha on the stove.

"We all know what's wrong," Zoro started in a knowing tone that made Sanji turn to look at him, he was wearing a smug smirk "it's the aftermath of seeing your lover boy."

Sanji snorted dry, then went back to the sandwiches, tossing glances here and there to the boys as they spoke.

"He isn't my lover boy!" Ace protested as he idly tried to keep his voice down.

Beside a sniggering Zoro was Luffy, with his forefinger pressed gently right underneath his nose as he chuckled as quietly as possible.

"See? It's not very funny when people do that." Zoro said in a tone way more serious than before, and Sanji raised his gaze on him while cocking a quizzical eyebrow.

Ace didn't seem to respond, he just mumbled something unintelligible as he busied himself with searching the cabinets. Zoro, on his part, was still wearing a soft smile, even though his eyes were now focused on the clean, dark surface of the kitchen table. Sanji furrowed his eyebrows just slightly as he laid several thin tomato slices on each sandwich.

"I hope he's gonna come tomorrow, though." Luffy finally broke the silence, and suddenly all eyes flew to him "He seems like a pretty cool guy." he nodded, and this time his tone was far from derisive.

A faint blush tinted Ace's cheekbones as he shrugged a shoulder "Don't get your hopes up, he's got work tomorrow night."

"I can't believe you didn't introduce him to me," Zoro shook his head in utter disapproval "Franky and Usopp met him, and I haven't!"

Ace groaned as he turned off the stove "I told you, they–"

"Well, you didn't even fucking tell me, so..." Sanji suddenly cut in, shutting everyone up. He knew that he wasn't the biggest fan of lovey dovey couples, but Sanji had grown up with those three, they never kept secrets from each other and being left out was downright rude and hurtful.

Zoro bit his lower lip and threw his older brother a glance, and Ace shifted his weight from one foot to the other uncomfortably.

"I'm sorry Sanji, I just..." Ace couldn't bring himself to look Sanji in the eye and it was plain irritating. He rubbed his forehead with his palm, keeping quiet for a few moments until he probably mustered enough courage to hold Sanji's gaze "I've kept this thing to myself for as long as I could, because I thought that it wasn't that important, that it was just a crush." he explained with a shrug of his shoulder, pausing just enough to moisten his dry lips with his tongue "But then it turned out that it was something... More. And maybe, if I'm lucky enough, it's not exactly one-sided, so the first person I vented to was Zoro."

Luffy suddenly raised a hand "I can confirm, I didn't know jack either. He told me after he confessed it to Zoro."

"Yes, thank you Luffy." Ace nodded at his little brother, then went back to look at Sanji "So... The next person I was gonna tell was definitely you, but you and Zoro were having some kind of–" he stopped, biting his tongue and widening his eyes as if he was stumbling on thoughts and words.

Sanji's eyes widened under knitted eyebrows, and his eyes wandered from a fairly disconcerted Zoro to Ace "W-what? We were having what?"

Ace's eyebrows rose and his cheeks inflated as he shrugged and shook his head "I-I was gonna say a moment? I-I mean... You were watching Freakshow together so I went to look for Smoker..." he shrugged again, as if it was the only possibly movement he could do.

Sanji blinked a few times, as an uncomfortable feeling settled on the pit of his stomach and the speed of his heartbeat increased. "The fuck are you talking about?!" Sanji spat out in a semitone higher than normal.

"Well, it's true, nobody wanted to disturb you, so..." Ace tried to explain, waving both his hands incoherently.

From the way in which Ace was describing it it sounded like everyone had left Sanji and Zoro alone on purpose, because they looked... Romantic, or something? What the hell?

Sanji looked at Zoro who was covering his eyes with a hand, still Sanji could see his reddened ears, and for some reason, instead of replying with a witty comeback, Sanji's tongue seemed to knot in his mouth and his cheeks began to feel like they had just caught on fire.

"Sanji..." Luffy softly called out for him, making him partially snap out of it as he slowly turned his head towards him "Your cigarette..."

Instead of pulling it out of his lips, Sanji crossed his eyes to look down at the stick of ashes that was precariously balanced on the now completely burnt out filter of Sanji's cigarette. Immediately the blond let go of the ingredients he was handling, and disposed of the remainders of his nicotine fix.

"I'm hungry, Sanji..." Luffy whined.

"Don't be a pain! Just wait!" Sanji yelled out of instinct, even though he was perfectly aware of the fact that Luffy was just trying to change topic to ease off everyone's embarrassment.

"Coffee is ready!" Ace jumped in as he placed three steaming cups on the table and sat across from his brothers.

Sanji went back to work on the sandwiches as quickly as he could, glancing at Zoro every now and then just to check on his expressions and behavior. Sanji didn't even know what this sudden concern over Zoro was all about, he wanted to smack himself across the face.

Once the sandwiches were ready, Sanji took the empty seat next to Ace and across from Luffy, then stared down intently at the cup of black coffee sitting in front of him – with all the sudden nervousness that had taken over his body the last thing he needed was caffeine pumping through his system and making everything worse.

He knew Zoro and Ace could sleep everywhere and at any given time, having consumed coffee or not, so he knew that they wouldn't have had any problems that night, but for Sanji it would have been hell, so he limited himself to just watch the others stuffing their stomachs full and glaring down at the strong scent emanated from the cup.

"Hey, I made that with love." Ace commented with a frown as he jerked his chin towards Sanji's untouched coffee.

Sanji cocked an eyebrow "No, you made it with anxiety and regret. It would poison me."

Zoro and Luffy snorted so hard that Luffy accidentally inhaled a few bread crumbs and began to cough furiously.

"Th-that's not true!" Ace retorted with a ridiculous pout that made Zoro laugh even harder as he patted Luffy on the back in order to make him stop suffocating.

Sanji rolled his eyes "It's a fact. And I don't think I should drink coffee before bed."

"Weak." Zoro commented as he took a huge bite of sandwich.

Sanji glowered at him "I don't happen to be a monster like the three of you, caffeine can keep me up all night."

"Well at least something will keep you up all night in Zoro's bed." Ace said with a smirk, before a loud thump echoed through the kitchen along with Ace's groan of pain.

"Next time I'll make sure to break the bone." Zoro deadpanned as he calmly kept eating.

Sanji shook his head, but he couldn't help the small snicker that escaped his lips. Ace was quite right, even though Sanji didn't care about Zoro not keeping him up all night, still he glanced at the brooding drummer and felt a small tug to the stomach. Maybe he should have eaten something as well, after all, no matter how adamant he was about not going to bed right after consuming a meal.

When everyone had finally finished eating, and Sanji had decided to at least munch on some fruit, the boys headed upstairs, bid each other goodnight and then disappeared into their rooms.

Inside Zoro's room both men were oddly quiet but Sanji blamed it on their exhaustion, they had played a gig after all, and every bit of enthusiasm had seeped out, leaving only room to weariness.

Sanji stripped to his briefs and pulled on a plain black t-shirt as he casually looked at Zoro taking off his clothes and getting into bed with only his boxers on.

"What?" Zoro asked as he crossed his arms behind his head.

Sanji perked up and raised his eyebrows, his heartbeat increasing just slightly "Huh?!"

Zoro's eyebrows knitted together "Why are you staring at me?"

Sanji snorted, despite the low heat he had began to feel on his face "I'm not? Why would I stare at your ugly mug?" he muttered as he kept still by the bed, fists clenching without even realizing it.

Zoro shrugged slightly "I don't know." then he raised an eyebrow "Are you gonna get into bed or...?"

Sanji was suddenly aware of the stiffness in his muscles so he relaxed and huffed, yanking the covers down on his side of the bed "You really can't wait to get me in to bed, huh?"

"Of course. I intend to finish what I started earlier."

Sanji's eyes went wide and his jaw hung slightly open as he stared at Zoro, unable to speak or actually understand the meaning of that sentence and the confidence in Zoro's tone – what was the Marimo getting at, exactly? Though that shocked state lasted only until Zoro reached over to Sanji and started tickling him.

"You fuckin–!" Sanji growled before an hysterical laugh stopped his words from coming out and he tried to return Zoro the favor.

Instead of trying to escape or pry off Zoro's fingers, Sanji hopped on the bed on his knees as he tickled Zoro back, he nearly fell off the bed twice, but Zoro always managed to tug him back and prevent him from tumbling down to the floor. They were both laughing and screeching (well, Sanji was screeching) so hard that Sanji was actually surprised the entire household hadn't bursted into the room to kill them.

"S-stop! I'll knee you in the nuts!" Sanji threatened as he laughed nearly out of breath.

"No way!" Zoro grinned as he kept working his fingertips and nails on Sanji's ribs as fast as he could, trying to dodge and block every attempt that Sanji made at tickling him back.

"I'll piss on your bed!" Sanji nearly shrieked "I'm gonna do it!" he kept threatening until he lost his balance and once again he risked toppling off the bed once again "Fuck!"

Zoro grabbed Sanji by the front of his shirt and with a powerful yank he saved Sanji and accidentally made him land on top of him.

"Ow!" Sanji huffed as he found himself half-sprawled atop the other man "It'd probably hurt less if I landed on the floor," he muttered "you're as hard as a brick wall!"

A shit-eating grin spread on Zoro's lips "That's because I actually exercise every day and keep myself in shape."

Sanji flared his nostrils and propped himself up on Zoro's chest "Are you implying that I am out of shape?"

Zoro shrugged a shoulder, not even remotely seeming to mind having Sanji's elbows and arms pressed into his upper half "I'm just saying that you're weaker than I am."

One of Sanji's eyebrows twitched with annoyance "Do you want a pair of elbows jabbed deep into your guts, Marimo?"

Zoro snorted "You couldn't even move in time to do tha–"

Zoro's words were cut short by Sanji's elbow being simultaneously shoved into his stomach, but Zoro was also quick enough to flip them over and pin Sanji's arms above his head.

"Fucker." Zoro growled lowly with his eyebrows drawn together, Sanji knew he had hurt him and couldn't stop smirking about it.

"What are you gonna do now, moss-brain?" Sanji teased "You know I could knee you pretty fucking hard from this position?"

In response, Zoro placed his own knees over Sanji's "Are you gonna headbutt me, now?"

Sanji raised an eyebrow, it wasn't like he wasn't strong enough to push Zoro off of him, but he was enjoying that little game "I could, but then no one would come see us live if your face was messed up."

Zoro grimaced "Shut the fuck up, you idiot."

Sanji laughed softly, closing his eyes in the process, and when he opened them again he saw a weird light flickering into Zoro's way too serious gaze, it was sharp enough to pierce through Sanji's soul and made his stomach churn and his breath die in his throat. It wasn't hunger, Sanji knew that look all too well, he had seen it in way too many men's eyes, no it was something different, something that shook Sanji's very core and made his heart beat ridiculously fast.

"Y-you gonna get off me?" Sanji asked, clearing his throat right after his voice had broken slightly, trying to poorly muffle his embarrassment "I'm not a mattress."

Zoro snorted, and that strange glint seemed to disappear from his eyes "You're not even half as comfortable as this mattress, and this mattress if the fucking worst."

Sanji scowled and kicked Zoro's leg as he finally rolled off of him "You rude bastard!"

Zoro pushed Sanji a bit to the side "You took up the whole bed."

"Whose fault is it?" Sanji retorted with a huff.

"Shut up." Zoro grumbled as he pushed his hand under Sanji's head to make room for his own arm, then looped it around Sanji's shoulder.

"What are you doing?" Sanji protested with a frown.

"Shut up." Zoro repeated as he pulled Sanji closer to him.

Sanji growled, but didn't even attempt to flee Zoro's grip, he actually got comfortable with his head on Zoro's shoulder and an arm placed across Zoro's chest. "You're a big baby."

"Whatever." Zoro replied as he let his eyelids drop shut.

Sanji let out a loud, dramatic sigh "How do you even survive when I am not around?"

Zoro shrugged "I can cope. I'm less stressed."

Sanji moved one of his knees to Zoro's crotch and made sure to make it hurt.

"Fu–!" Zoro cried out as the wind got knocked out of him.

Sanji smirked "I keep my promises." he knew that Zoro couldn't put up a real argument after his words, and that made him smirk even more.

After several other hums and mumbles, Zoro went finally still and quiet, his breath evening out and his limbs heavy and relaxed, Sanji didn't even need to pull the comforter up because Zoro's natural warmth already made up for the cold in the room.

Sanji couldn't tell if Zoro was sleeping or not, even if he peeked at his face and saw his eyes shut, though he knew that that bastard could fall asleep like a log in the blink of an eye. Sanji, on the other hand, knew he couldn't fall asleep but couldn't exactly tell why, and even if he tried to squeeze his eyelids shut his brain wouldn't give him a break.

That night had been one hell of a ride, a roller coaster to be more specific, and that was probably the main reason why Sanji now was more awake then ever, now that the lights were off and the only sound that could be heard was that of his and Zoro's breathing. Too many thoughts pooled in the front of his mind, thoughts about the show and how marvelous it had been, about meeting new fans and greeting the die hard ones, about how bigger and greater the rest of the tour was going to be and last, but definitely not least, about how his reactions while being around or alone with Zoro had got.

He didn't want to think about that though, he felt like something had probably been switched on within him and he didn't like it, not one bit. It was something dangerous, something that could ruin things to the point of non return and Sanji didn't want that, just the mere thought of it made him feel sick to the stomach.

Even in that moment he could feel an odd fluttering into his chest, just by being half wrapped around Zoro, and that was all kinds of bad. For a second he thought about tearing himself away from Zoro and run all the way to the living room to spend the rest of the night curled up on the couch, but then he told himself that it would have been stupid and useless, and that he should just chill the fuck out.

It wasn't the first time he and Zoro shared a bed, and it wasn't the first time they snuggled together before going to sleep, why would it be different from all the other times?

But most importantly, why had Sanji's mind gone completely blank when he had jumped on Zoro after the show and Zoro's lips had looked like the best thing ever created by mother nature?

Sanji instinctively pressed a hand against his eyes, as if it would have blocked mental images from flowing into his vision, if he could have he would have probably punched himself in the face to try and stop his train of absurd thoughts.

That couldn't been happening, he had remained safe from developing that kind of emotions for anyone in years, and he couldn't really understand why of all times it had to be then and why of all people it had to be Zoro.

"Cook..." Zoro croaked out all of a sudden, making Sanji hiss in surprise.

"Hm?" Sanji hummed, trying to sound like he had been half asleep or something.

"You've been good tonight." Zoro nearly breathed out.

Fuck.

Shit.

Fuck, shit, fuck.

"Shut up, I'm always good." Sanji replied, ignoring the hammering in his chest and the way in which his stomach seemed to have taken up artistic gymnastics.

Zoro snorted "Yeah, whatever." he stretched out lightly and yawned "Tonight was special."

No really, Zoro needed to shut up and go back to sleep before Sanji's internal organs would burst out.

"I know." Sanji cleared his throat "You've been good, too."

There. Now go to sleep, Marimo, pretty please.

Zoro huffed with laughter "I know that, too." he turned his head and placed a light kiss to Sanji's forehead before seemingly giving in to Morpheus' embrace.

Sanji didn't know which part of his body burned the most, if it were his cheeks, his forehead, his chest or his stomach, but he was pretty sure that now he wasn't going to get any sleep, not after the few questions he had posed to himself had blatantly been replied by the moss-brained klutz that was holding him.

"Jesus, Marimo, why are you being so sappy now?" Sanji half whined as he hit Zoro on the chest, his face still feeling on fire.

Zoro groaned "I'm not sappy, I'm just..." he paused for such a long moment that Sanji thought he had finally fallen asleep, but then he spoke again "I'm tired and... And sincere."

After all that wouldn't even be the first time that Zoro did that, being so completely honest (and cuddly) at night, actually Sanji himself was like that too, most of the times, still he didn't want to feel so incredibly embarrassed and overwhelmed by an emotion he had never really known – or maybe ha had just been extremely good at repressing it? Well, that wasn't exactly the time to be racking his brain, it was time to sleep.

"You're sappy, still." Sanji reiterated as his fingertips mindlessly scratched softly at Zoro's chest "It's pretty lame."

Zoro's only reply was a snort, then he went completely silent with the exception of his quiet, drowsy breathing.

Sanji lay there, listening to Zoro's soft snoring and caressing the warm skin underneath his fingertips, confused, maybe even scared and bewildered by the fact that the only thing that went through his brain were the lyrics to Depeche Mode's Here Is The House. It wasn't even one of his favorite Depeche Mode songs, especially because he wasn't the romantic song type, yet again he couldn't deny that Zoro's house was indeed 'the house where it all happens'. Sanji shook his head slightly, feeling like a huge idiot only for thinking about such things, then curled even more around Zoro and let his eyelids drop shut, unsure as to whether he'd actually be able to fall asleep.

–

Sanji didn't have to even set an alarm to wake up at the right time to go to work, and maybe he was going to run a little late – not that he really cared about it.

When he opened his eyes there was no light seeping through the curtains, and the warmth he was enveloped into made it seem like a horrible crime to leave the bed, but he had to.

He turned to look at Zoro's sleeping face and all of a sudden he was hit by those feelings from the night before, and he nearly bolted out of the bed as if it burned him. Terror thrummed through his body as he tried to peel Zoro's limbs off of him without waking him up in the process. He needed to leave, and pretty fucking quickly too.

Sanji managed to sit up and swing his legs over the edge of the bed in complete quiet, but as he was about to get up he felt Zoro's arm wrap around his waist.

"Mm... You runnin' away?" Zoro muttered.

Yes. Yes, he was.

A shiver ran down Sanji's spine and his stomach stirred "I gotta go to work, Marimo." he patted on Zoro's hand on his hip "Let go of me."

That only served to make Zoro groan and hold him even tighter as he burrowed his face into Sanji's back.

"F-fuck..." Sanji exclaimed out of breath and instinctively covered his mouth with his hand. Zoro was a fucking neanderthal, why did he find him so painfully adorable now? He wanted to scream.

"Stay a bit longer." Zoro mumbled against Sanji's skin, making him shiver even more and giving him goosebumps.

Sanji bit his lip hard, throwing his head back as he thought up the longest curse he could manage. "I can't, you dickwad." Sanji tried to say in his calmest tone "Zeff will kill me."

"Fuck 'im." Zoro moaned and tugged Sanji to lay back down.

"No!" Sanji exclaimed in a high and way not usual tone "No! No! I gotta go! Cut it out!" Sanji ripped Zoro's arm off of him and stood up.

"I hate you." Zoro grumbled as he pulled the covers nearly over his head.

Sanji sighed and hung his head "Same."

"Stay for breakfast?" Zoro insisted, his face half pressed into the mattress as he didn't even bother lifting up his gaze on Sanji.

Sanji let out a dramatic sigh and rolled his eyes "I work in a damn restaurant, moss-head, I think I can just go and eat there."

Zoro finally lifted up his head and readjusted himself on his side of the bed "So much for being hospital." he grumbled and rubbed at his eyes with his knuckles.

"Just go back to sleep," Sanji said in an exasperated tone as he began to collect his clothes from the floor in order to put them on "and I'll see you tonight at Franky's." he really didn't plan on calling or texting Zoro that day, not in the emotional state he had spiraled in.

"Whatever." Zoro barely waved his hand as he fell asleep again.

"About time." Sanji commented as he shuffled on his jeans and roughly pulled on his boots. He needed to get out of that house as soon as possible, without running into anyone, he needed some proper fresh air to clear up his mind and some alone time.

Once he was dressed and he had grabbed his bag, Sanji sneaked out of Zoro's room trying to be as quiet as humanly possible, tiptoeing down the hall and trying not to make too much noise even when he moved downstairs. He only flinched and held his breath when he heard one of the doors from upstairs opening and closing, so he seized that chance to rush to the front door and leave the house.

Before getting out Sanji hadn't even noticed it was raining, it wasn't exactly a downpour, more like a light sprinkle falling on Sanji's flushed face and bringing him a certain relief. The sky was greyish and the wind blew hard enough to ruffle Sanji's hair and stick it to his forehead and cheeks, it wasn't exactly Sanji's favorite weather, but it kind of fit his inner turmoil.

"How fucking poetic." Sanji grunted as he lifted the hood of his jacket, slung the strap of his bag over his shoulder and buried his hands deep inside his pockets as he began to walk down the sidewalk.

He didn't know if he wanted to stay alone with his thoughts for a while or if he preferred to block them out and keep himself as busy as possible with work, but probably his subconscious voted for the first option, because despite the rain he wasn't exactly pacing up.

Sanji wasn't an idiot, sometimes maybe he liked to pretend like he was one, but he perfectly knew what was going on inside him and he didn't want that, it was terrible and problematic, and the last thing he needed. His opinion on love and romantic relationship hadn't changed overnight, he repelled them and having those kind of feelings for someone that he considered so important to him was frightening.

Sanji loved Zoro, it was no secret, he was the closest person to his heart and even if it didn't look like it he cherished their friendship like the most important thing in his life. No one had ever stuck with Sanji through thick and thin the way Zoro had, people looked down on Sanji, called him names, jeered at him, insulted him and everything he was, and even at Sanji's lowest Zoro had always been there, even if that moss-head didn't speak much his presence alone worked on Sanji.

Yes, there was the arguing issue, the fact that they didn't seem to be able to have a normal conversation without being at each other's throat, but that didn't mean anything, it didn't change the fact that Zoro was Sanji's best friend and pillar of strength.

It wasn't even like Sanji had never thought about Zoro at least physically, that green haired bastard had a body to die for and was way too attractive to be real, but Zoro wasn't like all the other dudes Sanji had ever slept with, he was something else, he was the one person that Sanji didn't want to stain with his lack of purity, he didn't want to ruin everything by sleeping with Zoro and just throwing him into the way too long list of useless, discarded boy toys.

Zoro mattered, Zoro was someone that Sanji didn't want to lose for whatever reason and love and sex were the complications that could pulverize everything between them.

Growing up with a father who cursed fate everyday for taking away the woman he loved, who drank himself silly while his child stood just outside the door of the kitchen and heard him cuss and wish to never have fallen in love because it hurt like hell, Sanji learned to fear abandonment and being in love. Growing up being made fun of by the lovely girls he had tried to court only made his already distorted perception of feelings worse. Growing up thinking that the only way to feel good about himself was wooing boys to get physical pleasure out of it served to make him gag at the presence of couples and abhor romance and love in every form.

Sanji was damaged goods, and there was no denying it, and he didn't even want to do anything about it. He had shielded himself completely from what could hurt him, and if that shield even just looked like it might have a small crack somewhere it would throw him into panic right away.

More than halfway to his house, Sanji had decided that he was going to do something about those feelings, and the best way he knew was restoring his old habit of drinking and fucking a stranger. Now, he could drink how much he wanted that night at Franky's but the stranger to push into a random, secluded space was going to be a lot harder to find.

–

When Sanji arrived on his street the Baratie was still closed, thing that made Sanji scowl deeply until he realized that he had left Zoro's house so early that he could just go back to bed for a short while. He wasn't sleepy though, a bit tired maybe, but his stomach felt like it was about to jump upside down, and all he wanted to do was smoke ten cigarettes all at the same time and claw his skin off.

He took a few more steps to the front door of his building and once he was inside he pulled down his hood and stuck a cigarette between his lips. Sanji was actually surprised he had managed to walk all the way home without his first dose of nicotine for the day, and it was only because of the rain and the thoughts that hazed his mind.

Sanji entered his apartment with the same caution he had used to leave Zoro's house, and quietly sneaked towards his own bedroom. Zeff wasn't around, maybe he had took off for the daily food purchases down at the markets, because sure as hell he wasn't the kind of man who would sleep in – one less thing to worry about, one less person to argue with... For the moment.

Sanji dropped his bag between the small TV and the desk, then quickly got out of his damp clothes, being extremely careful not to set anything on fire as he held the cigarette firmly between two fingers.

When he looked over at his small bed it looked cold and lonely, and a horrible weight settled on his chest. Sanji didn't want to be alone, he didn't want to lose everything he had gained in his life, but his mind couldn't help but wander back to how he felt the night before when he was about to kiss Zoro right after the show, to how peaceful and relaxed he felt in Zoro's arms while they were in bed.

He needed to stop lingering on those thoughts and quit screwing his mind up more than it was necessary, he needed to smoke his cigarette and take a nap, probably even take a hot bath afterwards. Sanji slipped under the covers with an ashtray in his hand and calmly finished off his cigarette before allowing himself to sink into the comforter and try to get some more sleep.

–

The first thing that Zoro did that morning, even before he could open his heavy eyelids was feel and pat the now cold and empty spot on the bed beside him, and as soon as he did so he slapped that same hand over his eyes and let out a soft groan. Feeling like a complete idiot first thing in the morning was definitely something he hadn't signed up for, along with the not so subtle feeling of anxiety lingering into his chest and churning into the pit of his stomach. All these awful sensations piled up inside of him, heavy and nasty, and more than any other day all Zoro wanted to do was lie in bed with the lights off.

He didn't even have to concentrate to remember about the past night, all the memories just dripped in front of his eyes the very moment he realized he was wide awake. Zoro still couldn't decide if they were painful, they were mostly confusing and filled with that vain hope that made Zoro's insides twist in the most unpleasant of ways.

The night before had been a proper roller coaster of events and emotions, Zoro knew it would have been useless to ruminate on every single thing that had happened between he and Sanji, but he couldn't. He felt like he was torn in two halves, the most rational one who told him to not overthink and read too much into Sanji's behavior, then there was the irrational, passionate part of him who kept remembering and analyzing glances and gestures, and who dreaded the fact that Sanji had run away and Zoro was sure he did remember everything that had happened.

The first thing that came to Zoro's mind was checking his phone for any text from Sanji, but the screen was only filled with Facebook and Instagram notifications, probably from fans and friends. Zoro carelessly dropped his phone on the mattress and pressed both hands against his eyes in a desperate attempt to block everything out, he took a deep breath and tried to let everything seep out of his mind. Meditation was the only weapon he could use to fight off all the anxiety, and even if he had just woken up it didn't hurt him to give it a try, so he kicked off the covers and sat up in a lotus position with his eyes shut.

Assuming that position instantly reminded him of Mihawk being awkwardly sympathetic towards him because of Sanji, so his jaw clenched and his nostrils flared. Shit, he couldn't fuck meditation up, he was good at it and it helped him a great deal, it couldn't fail in a moment of need like that.

Zoro shook his head and heaved a deep, long sigh, allowing his whole body and mind to relax, he tried to focus on his breathing to empty his head from any thoughts and chase away the tension in his chest and stomach. He had trained himself to meditate for such a long time that in a matter of minutes, slowly but surely, brick by brick, his protective wall of relaxation and calm was being rebuilt all over again. Maybe it wasn't going to hold up for that long, especially since the party at Franky's was that night, but it was definitely going to help him getting through the day.

Zoro was completely immersed in his own world, every background noise couldn't reach him and his mind was completely empty, his breathing was steady and slow, just as if he were sleeping while being awake at the same time. He couldn't hear the neighbor's dog barking incessantly at the roaring noise of a motorbike engine, just like he couldn't hear the rain that had started drumming against the window of his bedroom, he couldn't hear not feel the way his cellphone was buzzing beside him and didn't even notice when his youngest brother all but bursted into his room like a hurricane.

It was true that Zoro couldn't really hear if Luffy was shouting something like he'd definitely do, but Zoro's body immediately perceived the boy's presence, and when Luffy tried to tackle him, Zoro reflexes were quick enough to make him extend out an arm to catch the entirety of Luffy's face in his hand.

"Can't you see I'm meditating?" Zoro muttered, his eyes still closed.

"I donf carf! Wherf's Fanji?" Luffy growled with his face smushed against his brother's palm.

A deep frown creased Zoro's forehead and he decided to open his eyes "Gone, this morning. Pretty early too, I guess." he said as he moved his hand away and Luffy collapsed face first onto the mattress. Zoro relaxed into a more comfortable position, and watched as Luffy scrambled back to his knees. The boy had ruffled hair and make up smudged underneath his eyes from the night before – though Zoro knew that he probably was in the same condition, if not worse.

"I was hoping to find breakfast made from him, this morning." Luffy said in the most broken tone he could muster, then let out a dramatic sigh.

Zoro rolled his eyes "Go eat Shank's breakfast, don't be a little shit." Luffy stared at Zoro long and hard, and it actually made Zoro feel so uncomfortable that he had to look away. "What's wrong with you?"

Luffy's stare soon turned into a half glare "What did you do to make Sanji run away?" he paused just enough to tilt his head in a slow and kind of creepy motion "He was so happy last night."

Zoro's eyes widened comically under knitted eyebrows "W-what?!" he sputtered out "I did nothing! He did it all on his own!" he wasn't lying, he knew as much than Luffy knew, Sanji had been acting weird from the beginning, so apart from the issue with Bartolomeo, Zoro had done absolutely nothing, or at least he was pretty sure he hadn't.

Luffy folded his arms over his chest, still scrutinizing Zoro with a hard, severe look that he had totally inherited from Shanks "I don't buy it, not completely."

Zoro threw his head back with a groan "You gotta be kiddin' me!"

Luffy's expression didn't change and neither did the unusual deep tone he was speaking in "Sanji hasn't looked that happy in ages. I won't forgive you if you did something to change that."

Zoro stared at his younger brother in bewilderment, he couldn't believe they were even having that absurd conversation "You done?" Zoro finally replied in a tone just as serious as Luffy's "I'd never do anything to destroy Sanji's happiness," he would have added that he felt happy when Sanji was happy too, no matter what, but he decided it wasn't worth mentioning, it would only make him look like a desperate idiot. "I did nothing, and if something happened it wasn't on purpose."

Luffy's expression relaxed, but he still looked kind of skeptical towards his brother "Well it's just really weird that he left so early, no one saw him leave the house." he said simply, with a shrug of his shoulders.

Zoro frowned, his gaze falling to his lap. Meditation really couldn't help much if Luffy kept rubbing it in. "Well I saw him go," Zoro hunched his shoulders before moving his eyes back on Luffy "I think he said something about having to go to work, though it was probably the asscrack of dawn when he left."

Luffy's eyebrows shot up right away "Oh." he blinked and kept quiet, as if he was rethinking his suspicions.

"I mean, we did have an argument before leaving Colosseum last night," Zoro dared adding in the most casual tone he could "but we made up shortly after."

Luffy stared at Zoro dead in the eye "Why did you lie to me, then?"

"Oh for fuck's sake!" Zoro groaned and stood up from the bed to put some clothes on "I'm done talking to you and excusing myself for something I didn't do."

"Well you did piss him off! Didn't you?" Luffy insisted as he followed his brother with his eyes.

"Yes! I did!" Zoro sneered as he pulled on a random t-shirt "But we were fine afterwards! So, technically, I did not lie to you!"

"Jeez, what's goin' on here?"

Zoro and Luffy automatically looked towards the door and found Ace squinting at them while leaning against the door frame, his hair was sticking up in different directions and he had more smudged make up underneath his eyes than Luffy.

"Cat ate your tongues?" Ace asked again, this time with an even more puzzled expression.

"Zoro's been an ass to Sanji and won't admit that he made him run away." Luffy explained briefly and got up from the bed.

"That is brand new information." Ace made a fake impressed expression and nodded his head slowly.

"I did not!" Zoro growled "I hate both of you!" he went on as he padded past both of his brothers and went for a shower, at least he could lock himself up inside the bathroom and no one could bother him.

"Someone's very pretty cranky today!" Ace teased.

Mihawk, who was just getting out of the bathroom, looked at Zoro and cocked an eyebrow "You look like a pile of crap. Are you really sure that sleeping in the same bed as Sanji is healthy?"

Zoro's expression was beyond horrified as he stared at his father, and all he could do was mumble "I hate this entire family." before squeezing by and slamming the bathroom door shut behind his back.

What a brilliant start to an already shitty day.

–

After the shower Zoro was feeling much better, he had cleared his head of any poisonous thought and not being around anyone for a while had indubitably helped him. He had also managed to sneak back to his room undisturbed to put on some fresh clothes, and decided to at least pull back up the covers of the bed to give it a semblance of neatness. Once he had straightened the blankets and the covers, the comforter produced Zoro's completely forgotten cellphone.

"Oh." Zoro muttered to himself, eyebrows knitted together as he reached down to pick up the device. He hesitated, his finger hovering the middle button for some seconds, then he finally pressed it and the screen blinked to life.

The Facebook and Instagram notifications had apparently increased and once again Zoro couldn't be bothered to check them, but the Whatsapp notification that had appeared beside them resulted in Zoro ceasing to breathe, even if for just a fraction of second. Just like when he woke up, his feelings were clashing between the want to check the message and its sender, and the want to just forget about even owning a damn cellphone.

Ultimately, reason won over instinct and Zoro finally swiped his finger across the screen and discovered that he had two messages in two different conversations. Zoro ran his tongue over his chapped lower lip and tapped the screen only to be redirected to the convos list on Whatsapp, and finally discovering that a message was from Bartolomeo and the other from Sanji.

"Here we go." Zoro sighed to himself as he chose to open Bartolomeo's text first.

'hey, i wanted to apologize once again for my terrible behavior from yesterday. i know you hate it when i apologize a lot but i think i went a little overboard, i was stupid and hurt sanji, i didnt mean to. hope im gonna get to apologize to him tonight, tho he clearly doesnt like me. oh and im very excited to be at a party with you guys! thanks again for the invitation!'

Zoro's tense expression relaxed as he read on, Bartolomeo seriously seemed mortified by what had happened the night before and Zoro appreciated that. He wished he could reassure Bartolomeo and tell him that everything was going to be alright with Sanji but it would have been a terrible lie. Zoro knew that Sanji mindlessly disliked Bartolomeo and there was pretty much nothing to do to make him change his mind. And then there it was, Bartolomeo being excited and grateful for being able to attend a party with his favorite band, Zoro tried not too read too much into it, to ignore Ace's voice in his head reminding him that Bartolomeo had a crush on him, that was just a nice message from a friend and nothing more.

Zoro proceeded to type up an answer, even if he didn't really know what to say.

'its fine, sanji got mad at me for laughing at your joke so yeah'

Zoro stopped tapping on the touchscreen, frowning down at his own words. If he sent that to Bartolomeo he'd surely become paranoid and start feeling awful because he caused trouble between Zoro and Sanji, so Zoro deleted everything and started over again.

'shit happens, sometimes people say things they dont mean and hurt others, it's a bad thing to do but it can happen. i do it too, sometimes. next time be more careful, sanji can be very sensitive when it comes to certain things. as for the party, you're welcome, we're definitely all gonna have a blast.'

Zoro reread the message a couple of times, just to be sure that everything sounded good and it wasn't rude or anything, then hit the send button. Bartolomeo wasn't a kid, he was a grown up and didn't need anyone to sugarcoat things for him, especially not from Zoro and especially not when it concerned Sanji.

Sanji. Right. Zoro had received a message from him too, he chewed on his lower lip and went back to search for Sanji's text and opened it.

'you didnt look very awake when i left this morning, just reminding you that i went to work early. zeffs being a fuckface and i might have to stab him soon, i hope franky has enough booze for me. also, tonight im coming with my own car so if i feel like going home before you and your brothers i can do it.'

Zoro took his time to read Sanji's words and he somehow felt relieved by the first part, at least he had kept his word and told Zoro twice that he hadn't run away but he had had to go to work early, though the second part of the message had Zoro scowl deeply. That was weird, why would Sanji want to leave the party early? Also, if he wanted to get so drunk why would he ever want to drive? It made no sense, and Zoro couldn't help but have a bad feeling about the whole thing.

'you finally learned to warn people, how thoughtful. your father is the worst, whats wrong with him today? or did you puke on the restaurant floor and pissed him off? knowing franky im pretty sure theres gonna be plenty of booze (me happy). and... ok? idk why you wanna leave early, we'll probably all just crash at frankys.'

Zoro was still glowering down at his phone screen when he sent the message, as if it had offended him personally. Sanji hadn't stopped being weird, apparently, and Zoro didn't like it one bit.

He wasn't expecting an immediate reply, especially since he figured that Sanji probably had his hands full with handling the kitchen at Baratie, so he decided that he could slip his phone into the pocket of his sweatpants and finally go downstairs to have some breakfast.

Sanji's text had left Zoro tense and slightly anxious, even if he tried to keep that sensation as far from him as possible, and now he knew that he was definitely going to run into his family, even if he didn't want to.

"'Morning, sunshine," Shanks saluted him as soon as Zoro walked past the couch where both his parents were watching TV.

"Good morning." Mihawk said as he glanced up at Zoro with a somewhat examining look. Zoro hoped to the entire Norse pantheon that he wouldn't open his mouth again and spill any more awkward things like he had before, or he would have committed suicide right there and then.

"'Mornin'." Zoro mumbled quickly as he tried to get to the kitchen as fast as he could. Thank to whatever deity none of them stopped him for any reason at all. Two less people to worry about, now on with his brothers, because he was sure as hell that they were both still eating breakfast.

"Mirror mirror on the wall, who's the crankiest of them all?" Ace chanted as he smirked over at Zoro.

"It is Zoro! And lo, he's just come down of his tower!" Luffy announced in a proper town crier fashion.

Zoro glared at his brothers and flipped them off with both hands, not even saying anything in return as he marched towards the fridge. He heard them laugh but ignored them.

"C'mon, bro, we're only joking!" Zoro heard Ace speak but didn't turn to look at him as he scanned the food into the fridge, not really seeing it.

"C'mon, Zoro..." Luffy started "I'm sorry, Ace told me that Sanji's been weird since yesterday, so it can't be your fault."

Zoro's jaw clenched and he grabbed some ham, cheese and tomatoes to make himself a sandwich. He slammed the door of the fridge with his foot, then went over to the island to prepare his food in silence.

"...Are you giving us the silence treatment?" Ace asked, and Zoro could clearly hear the disbelief in his voice.

"Shut up, okay?" Zoro bursted, slamming the knife he was holding down onto the cutting board "I don't like being ganged up against, not by my brothers," Zoro kept going as he finally looked over at Luffy and Ace who were staring at him disconcerted "if I tell you that it's not my fault then it isn't! If I tell you that Sanji's been acting weird on his own then it is so!" he growled out so loud that he was surprised Shanks didn't come rushing to end the argument.

"I know that, this is what I told Luffy, don't get–" Ace spoke calmly, trying to reason with Zoro before he could abruptly cut him off.

"Don't tell me to keep calm, because I'll throw the table at you, alright?!" Zoro was shouting, making both his brothers flinch, in an outburst that he never meant to have but that had been stored up inside of him for too long. "I care about Sanji! I–" he paused, closing his eyes for a moment to take a deep breath and lower his voice "You perfectly know how I feel, and if I had done something I'd fucking admit it and I'd be already trying to apologize to him."

"I'm sorry, Zoro. Really." Luffy said in a serious tone, staring at Zoro right in the eyes.

"Think before opening that damned mouth, then." Zoro went on, then looked down at the ingredients he was about to stuff a sandwich with "I'm not hungry anymore, you can finish this if you want to." he pursed his lips and walked out from behind the island.

"Zoro..." Ace stood up as he saw that Zoro was about to leave the kitchen and grabbed him by the arm "He really is sorry. We both are."

Zoro looked at Ace "Luffy can speak for himself and he did. I got that." he deadpanned "I need some fresh air. Sorry for lashing out." he waited for Ace to loosen his grip, then left the kitchen.

Shanks and Mihawk had heard everything, Zoro was sure of it, but none of them said anything nor looked at him because they knew him too well.

"Take a hoodie, we're training next week and I don't want you to have a stuffed nose." Mihawk did say something at last, in his weird fatherly manner, but Zoro kind of appreciated that and silently obeyed to him by grabbing his hoodie from the rack on his way out.

–

Once Zoro was outside he knew that going for a run was the best option he had to let out all the anger that needed to steam out of his system. He was ashamed of having lost control like a madman but he was made of flesh and bones, too, and he was reaching his limit.

Zoro tugged on his hoodie and pulled up the hood, he rummaged through its pockets and was lucky enough to find a pair of old earpieces into them, he plugged them into his phone and started up his music.

It was still drizzling when Zoro began to run, he didn't care if he was going to get drenched at some point, he needed to let out all his bottled up anger and nervousness in a way that didn't involve others. Zoro didn't even consider the very strong possibility that his poor sense of direction was certainly going to get him lost, he would have found his way back one way or another.

He ran and ran, aimlessly, focusing on his breathing and trying not to get too fired up by the music in his ears. Zoro was lucky enough that his music library wasn't too filled with songs that would only make his mood worse, but the random mode always seems to be against you when it comes to this sort of things.

There was a song that Zoro had always related to, way too much, he had also thought about deleting it off his cellphone but there's always that feeble sense of masochism which lies within the heart of someone in love, so Zoro never erased that song from his playlist. Ever Dream by Nightwish came on and Zoro nearly tripped over the bulging roots of a tree planted into the concrete of the sidewalk, he stumbled forward but quickly found his balance again. He considered skipping the song for a moment, then decided that it might have been somehow therapeutic, a shock treatment sort of thing, Zoro let the song play and started running again.

He knew the lyrics by heart, he was so familiar with the melody that he could have played it on the drums even without the guide of a music sheet. There were rumors about the song being written by the keyboardist of Nightwish who had feelings for the singer who didn't return them, Zoro had always thought that the way that piece of music was sung felt kind of impersonal and void, as if the singer knew the meaning of those words and didn't want to humor the keyboardist by singing from her heart.

Ever Dream wasn't the only song that Zoro could relate to, but it hit home in a way that not many tracks could. It wasn't just the usual song about a one-sided love, it was also about sharing a dream with the one you love and having another dream that in no way can be fulfilled, because the other person cannot return your feelings. That pretty much summed up Zoro and Sanji's relationship, it was their story in six verses.

Zoro couldn't tell for how long he had been running, nor the turns he had taken, but he somehow found himself in a part of the city that he knew all too well. He hadn't ran there on purpose, and he didn't like to believe in coincidences, but his feet had taken him on the side of the road that was opposite to the Baratie. Zoro stopped in his tracks, a horrified look on his face as he looked at the front door of the restaurant, droplets of rain were streaming down his wet hair and face, and in his head, while Tarja was still singing the chorus, Zoro could hear the unsung dedication written at the end of the lyrics:

"All I ever craved were the two dreams I shared with you.
One I now have, will the other one ever dream remain.
For yours I truly wish to be."

Zoro scrunched up his face and skipped the ending of the song, fixed his hood and turned on his heels to flee the area as fast as he could. He had seldom felt pathetic because of that entire situation, but never like that very moment, he didn't live in one of those terrible, sad romantic movies, what had all of that been about?

"It would have been better to end up on the other end of the city, what's wrong with me?" Zoro muttered to himself as he skipped through the songs in his library until he could blast some healthy viking metal in his ears to make up for what had just happened.

Zoro tried not to think about the fact that he had seen Sanji look at him from the window of the restaurant, and tried to convince himself that he had clearly imagined it, why would Sanji be out of the kitchen? He was the sous-chef, not a waiter.

Shit, was Zoro really starting to see things? Marvelous.

It took Zoro a while to get back home, partly because he got lost on the way back and partly because he was still trying to figure out how the hell he managed to arrive in Sanji's street. Probably it was just his subconscious pulling a dirty joke on him, still Zoro wasn't amused.

Once he unlocked the front door he got some weirded out stares by his family who was all crammed up on the same couch, watching Lord Of The Rings. Zoro didn't say anything and took off his drenched hoodie in order to hang it back where he'd found it.

"Don't you dare leave it there!" Shanks chastised him in a threatening tone "Put it in the shower or something!"

Zoro rolled his eyes and took it back in his hand.

"You've been in the rain all the time?" Luffy asked with a cocked eyebrow.

Zoro shrugged a shoulder "I was out, what was I supposed to do?"

"Get back home?" Ace suggested.

"Get inside a bar?" Luffy continued.

Mihawk kept silent, he glanced once at his son, then went back to the TV. Shanks did give his husband a severe look, as if he wanted him to say something, but it was thoroughly ignored.

"I'm gonna take a shower..." Zoro announced half-heartedly "Again." he moved to trek up the stairs and not too soon heard some footsteps coming from behind him.

"Zoro!" Luffy called him out, and Zoro turned to find both his brothers looking at him from the bottom steps.

"Are you alright?" Ace asked, his eyebrows drawn together in apprehension.

Zoro pursed his lips and nodded "Kinda." he paused and looked down at his feet, conjuring up the courage he needed to apologize again for what had happened. "Look, I'm really ashamed for the way I bursted out on you guys," he shook his head as he looked back at them "I shouldn't have."

Luffy and Ace both shook their heads as well.

"It's fine, we did bug you until you exploded." Luffy shrugged a shoulder.

"We should have known when to knock it off," Ace went on for both of them "I had promised you to give you a break on the entire Sanji matter, I'm sorry."

Zoro sighed, hanging his head "I guess we really are all brothers, after all."

Ace sniggered "For our mutual stupidity?"

Zoro snorted and nodded his head.

"Go get a bath instead of a shower." Ace suggested jerking his head in the general direction of the top story.

"We'll make you tea for when you're done." Luffy smiled.

Zoro sniggered and shook his head "I'll be alright, thanks." and with those words he finally went upstairs to take that bath, this time with no background music playing – even though he couldn't really get lost in the bathroom.

When Zoro placed his hoodie to dry over the radiator, he pulled his phone out of the pocket of his sweatpants, and suddenly he realized that he had completely forgotten about Sanji's reply to him on Whatsapp.

"Shit..." Zoro sighed and finished stripping down, he opened the water to fill up the tub and checked Sanji's message.

'well thats kinda the point, idk if i wanna crash on a couch or the floor, maybe i'll go back home or fuck knows where. idk, i'll see once im there, im not in the greatest of moods. and zeff and i got in a such a big fight that he downgraded me to waiter for the day (or so i hope, i dont wanna wait tables, i hate seeing that many people)'

Zoro's eyes widened, and he felt his heart sink into his stomach. So Sanji really was out of the kitchen, Zoro really had seen him. God, what if Sanji had spotted him standing outside of the restaurant in the rain, like a stray and beat up dog? That was so embarrassing.

Sanji hadn't mentioned it, so Zoro could still hope that he hadn't seen him, he also knew that he should have probably been more concerned over the fact that Sanji was still being weird about not wanting to spend the night at Franky's, but right in that moment he couldn't.

He found himself standing butt naked next to the slowly filling tub with shaky hands and sweaty palms and feeling like the biggest dumb fuck of the entire galaxy.

"I need to calm the fuck down." Zoro grumbled to himself as he leaned his cellphone on the sink and rubbed at his face with both hands. He had already felt awful enough for an entire morning, it was time to knock it off for as long as he could, or he wasn't going to make it to the party alive. He stepped inside the tub and tried to sink as deep into the water as he could.

–

Murder Of Crows and their friends were always punctual when it came to shows and practice, but for everything else it was nearly pointless to set up a real meeting time because everyone would simply show up whenever they wanted.

Zoro, Ace and Luffy arrived to the party forty minutes later than the designed time, definitely not bad for their standards, considering the fact that Luffy's pants completely ripped on the front a couple minutes before leaving the house because he'd been wrestling with Zoro and he had to get changed, and Ace had suddenly felt like changing into a sleeveless button down shirt with a huge Wednesday 13 patch sewed on the back. Zoro too had changed into a more comfortable pair of ripped black jeans, because he decided that it would have been a suicidal move to wear his bondage pants if he got too drunk to walk without ripping the straps or getting tangled into them, but the gorgeous Avenged Sevenfold t-shirt that Usopp had got him for his birthday had been a perfect choice from the beginning.

When the three brothers were finally inside Franky's house the people who filled the giant living room/kitchen space were the usual: Vivi and Nami were sipping alcohol from their plastic cups while sitting on the couch, and Brook, Usopp and Franky were playing Guitar Hero and terribly singing along to Judas Priest.

Sanji was nowhere to be seen, just like his car outside, and Zoro didn't know if he had to feel relieved or concerned for the time being.

Nami and Vivi stood up from their comfortable seats to greet the guys who had just arrived, while the three gamers didn't even pause Guitar Hero to do so.

"We'll say hi properly later!" Usopp shouted from over Franky's cussing.

"This song is a super pain in the ass!" Franky yelled, eyes glued to the screen and fingers moving impossibly fast over the toy guitar buttons.

"Yohohoho! This isn't like playing real guitar at all! I suck at this!" Brook laughed and shook his head, not even acknowledging the brothers' presence.

"Ignore them, they've been like this for the past twenty minutes." Nami rolled her eyes.

Luffy had already jumped on Usopp's back, making him lose track of the song "You can't play bass! Give up!"

"Luffy! You shit!" Usopp growled as he tried to buck Luffy off of his back.

"And there he goes." Ace sighed and shook his head as he watched his little brother tighten his grip on Usopp.

"Uh, Vivi..." Zoro started, visibly uncomfortable as he raised the bag he had been holding until then.

Vivi turned around with raised eyebrows "Yes?"

"Err... We all suck at presents, but..." Zoro shrugged a shoulder, handing her the bag "Here. Happy Birthday, again."

Ace nodded beside Zoro "Happy late Birthday!"

Vivi gave them a wide smile and grabbed the bag from Zoro's hands "Aw! I'm sure I'm gonna like it anyway!"

Nami arched an eyebrow "Don't be so sure, they're not like Usopp. No matter what he said he really gave you a beautiful present." she shot the brothers a glare "I hope you didn't get her anything embarrassing."

"Fuck off, Nami!" Zoro groaned.

"Why? What'd Usopp get her?" Ace asked, unable to hold back his curiosity.

"He did a redrawing of a beautiful photo he had taken of me and Nami after one of your concerts." Vivi explained with a smirk, her hands working on unwrapping the gift.

"Top that." Nami teased.

Zoro rolled his eyes "You're her girlfriend, you top that."

Vivi snorted and earned an outraged stare from Nami "I'm sorry baby, but he's kinda right." she snickered and placed a kiss to Nami's cheek.

"You're supposed to back me up, not them!" Nami pouted, then looked down at the present that had been finally taken out of the box.

"You guys! I love it!" Vivi gasped as she raised a leather vest with studs on the shoulders and fishnet sleeves "Thank you!"

"You're welcome!" Ace and Zoro said in unison before shooting Nami a victorious grin.

Nami huffed and crossed her arms over her chest, while Vivi went to thank Luffy too, even though he was too busy having a bass off competition with Usopp on Guitar Hero while Brook cheered them on.

"Hey guys!" Franky finally walked up to them "You alright?" then he furrowed his eyebrows and immediately asked "Where's Sanji? I thought he was going to come wih you."

"Yeah, no. He's coming on his own." Ace replied before Zoro could.

"I see," Franky pursed his lips "Saturdays at the Baratie are pretty insane."

"Yeah." Ace nodded.

Zoro didn't say anything and limited himself to nod along. He hadn't heard from Sanji at all during the rest of the day, so he didn't even know at what time he was getting off work.

"What about Smoker? He said anything?" Franky went on with the questioning, and this time it was Ace's expression that darkened.

"No, not really." Ace muttered.

"He's a police captain, he probably had loads of shit to take care of at work." Franky patted Ace's shoulder sympathetically, and Zoro could clearly see the murderous glimmer in Ace's eyes.

Ace had been really nervous himself all day, and Zoro couldn't really blame him, he was really worried that Franky had scared him off, even though Zoro had profusely reassured him that it probably wasn't the case and that he could have indeed felt a little embarrassed and out of place towards the unexpected invitation.

The doorbell rang right before Ace could say anything, and Zoro perked up at the possibility that Sanji could have finally arrived.

"I'll get it!" Franky yelled from over Usopp and Luffy yelling at each other, and went to open the door. "Ooohhh! The Prince of Crows!"

Zoro's stomach twisted.

"Hey, big guy!" Sanji half-hugged Franky with one arm, then handed him what looked like a huge cake box "Put this in the fridge, alright?"

"Roger that!" Franky saluted him, then went to the kitchen with the box.

"Hello, trash bags!" Sanji greeted everyone, then walked up to Vivi and Nami "And hello to you beauties, too!" Sanji kissed them on the cheeks.

"Hi, Sanji!" Vivi kissed him on the cheek as well.

"Hey you!" Nami held him tight and patted him on the back "We thought you deserted us."

Sanji smirked "I never could." then handed Vivi a box "This is a gift for both you princesses, I wouldn't open it here."

Vivi blushed as she took the box in her hands "W-why?"

Nami widened her eyes "Did you buy something nasty from a sex store?"

"What? Who got something from a sex store?" Brook asked all of a sudden.

"No one!" Sanji growled "It's nothing nasty, trust me."

Vivi put the box next to all her other opened presents while Nami kept giving Sanji a distrusting glare.

Zoro had watched the entire scene with a skeptical look on his face and arms folded over his broad chest, it was typical of Sanji to get embarrassing presents but he didn't think he could do that to Vivi... Or maybe he could.

"Hey, nerds!" Sanji finally looked in Ace and Zoro's direction before walking up to them. He went up to Ace first, hugging him.

"Long day at work?" Ace asked as he pulled back from the hug.

"Ugh, neverending." Sanji grimaced.

Now that Zoro could look at him better he could tell that Sanji had tried to mask his tiredness with make up as best as he could, yet he might have fooled everyone but Zoro.

"Aren't you gonna say hi, Marimo?" Sanji asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Hi?" Zoro said in return, perfectly knowing that it was going to piss Sanji off.

"Funny." Sanji nodded.

"What do you want? A french kiss?" Zoro asked with a shrug.

"Hm, that could work." Sanji shrugged a shoulder.

Zoro wouldn't have done it because it went against his principles, but just to shut that annoying little shit up he would have seriously shoved his tongue down his throat. "You wish."

Sanji seemed to falter, he failed to quickly come up with a retort and stammered out a "R-Right, I need that like air." he rolled his eyes and quickly busied himself with taking off his coat and getting a beer.

Zoro stood next to Ace slightly dumbfounded.

"Was he considering that like... Really?" Ace whispered so that only Zoro could hear.

"Don't ever say that again." Zoro sneered between his teeth.

–

Time went on between the first drinks shared all together and the opinions about the show from the night before. Everyone was enthusiastic and fired up, and just couldn't wait to finally hit stages they had never played on before, Freakshow still had to confirm the other dates, but as of the latest show they were going to have a concert on Tuesday, the first one out of town.

"Speaking of Freakshow," Usopp started, checking the time on the huge clock on the kitchen wall "did they get lost?"

Nami shrugged a shoulder "Maybe they don't wanna spend more time than is actually necessary with us."

Luffy snorted "They love us, I'm sure they're gonna come."

"One of them certainly is." Sanji muttered into his can of beer.

Zoro glared daggers at him but kept quiet.

"Who?" Vivi furrowed her eyebrows, then when Nami gave her an eloquent look and not too subtly jerked her chin in Zoro's direction she let out an elongated "Oh." that resulted in half of them snickering and Zoro glowering down at the can he had in his hand.

"Guys, guys!" Franky cried out as he finally came back from God knows which part of the house with an acoustic guitar in his hand. He had been far too restless for his standards, and even now that he was sitting down again he couldn't stop moving or fidgeting.

"Ah, Franky! That's a beautiful guitar! Why did you keep it from us?" Brook furrowed his eyebrows and squinted at the details of the definitely old but perfectly kept instrument in Franky's hands.

"Because this is my baby! It's a gift from a person I loved very much and I always keep her safe in her case." Franky explained with a gentle pat to the body of the guitar.

"Come on, play something for us! We might let you join the band!" Luffy grinned as he sat on the floor between Ace and Zoro.

"You know how he plays, and there's no open spots in the band!" Sanji growled as he tried to hit Luffy on the head.

"He knows that!" Zoro snarled as he pushed Sanji's hand away.

"What I really wanted to do, though," Franky cleared his throat to get everyone's attention back to him "is playing the part of the average douche at a party." he failed to bite back a smirk.

"Oh God, no." Nami rolled her eyes and stood up, walking to the food table and deciding that stuffing her face was a better idea than witnessing what was coming next.

"No, don't tell me that–" Ace scowled.

"He's gonna do it." Usopp snorted in amusement, already anticipating what was about to happen.

"Anyway, here's Wonderwall." Franky announced in a dramatic tone and everyone either laughed or made an annoyed sound.

"Don't you dare playing fucking Oasis!" Sanji groaned as he threw his head back.

"They only did one thing right!" Zoro started.

"Wonderwall?" Franky suggested.

"Disband!" Zoro roared in return, making everyone laugh even harder.

"No guys, c'mon! Let's all sing Wonderwall!" Usopp tried to convince them as he kept laughing.

"No fuckin' way." Ace shook his head with a snicker.

"I never learned the words and never will." Sanji grumbled and stood up to get something to eat himself.

Zoro watched him move towards the table with curious eyes, it was good to see that Sanji was already starting to put something different from alcohol into his stomach. He felt his own stomach growl, so he figured that he should probably join him. Zoro stood up and walked up to the table, still watching as Sanji smiled while speaking to Nami and she gently elbowed him in the arm as she laughed.

"Are these of good quality enough for you?" Zoro begun as he picked up a miniature sandwich and inspected its contents before popping it into his mouth whole.

Sanji lifted his eyes on Zoro and shrugged a shoulder "They look edible." he looked back down at the range of food that had been spread across the table "Not exactly the healthiest, but I guess it can work for once. Even if I wanted to cook for this party I was too busy."

"Being a waiter." Zoro teased with a smirk.

Sanji's eyes snapped up to him "Shut up..." he snarled, threatening.

"I'm sure you looked like an idiot even as a waiter, don't worry." Zoro nodded and pushed another mini sandwich into his mouth. Zoro knew how Sanji had looked as he waited the tables, he had seen him wear the uniform that every waiter at Baratie wore and even if it wasn't Zoro's genre, Sanji definitely looked good in it.

"I hope you choke on that." Sanji deadpanned.

"I can manage." Zoro replied instantly with a small smirk.

Sanji stared at Zoro for a moment, apparently unsure as of what to say in return, then scrunched up his nose "I'm sure you don't practice as much as I do."

Zoro's smirk dropped from his face. Well it had certainly been a while since the last time that Sanji had to remind him about his very active sex life, and Zoro hadn't missed being filled in.

Forehandedly, the doorbell rang. It really didn't distract Zoro from his sulking but he could at least pretend that it did.

"Maybe it's your boyfriend, cheer up." Sanji clapped a hand on Zoro's shoulder and Zoro slapped it away.

"Are you ever gonna knock it off?" Zoro asked, sarcastic.

"Once you'll stop flirting and being in love, then maybe I will." Sanji nodded and went to pour himself something stronger than simple beer.

Zoro fought back the instinct to slam Sanji's face into the nearest wall for everyone's sake, ruining the party with a murder wasn't the best idea ever, even though it did sound very Agatha Christie.

"Ooooh! We really did think that you didn't wanna mess with us more than necessary!" Usopp shouted as he opened the door and people started pouring inside the house.

"Nah! We like you!" Bonney announced as she patted Usopp on the arm "Plus there's food and booze, we couldn't really miss it!"

Zoro watched as everyone greeted Freakshow one by one as they entered the house. After Bonney came Killer, then Heat, then Robin, Freakshow's friend from the night before who had Franky suddenly light up and forget his precious guitar in a corner to go up to her. Zoro had momentarily lost track of who had stepped inside, but when he glanced back to the door he saw Bartolomeo awkwardly shut it behind his back and smiling widely at Luffy who had gone to him for a hug. Well, they were definitely short of two people... Where were Trafalgar and Eustass?

"Hey! Where's your brother, Barto? And Law?" Nami asked when she saw that no one else was coming in.

Bartolomeo scratched the back of his head "They're the actual reason why it took us so long to get here."

"Idiots had a huge fight right when they were supposed to meet us to come here," Killer explained as he combed his long fingers through his excessively long fringe "so they didn't come. It's for the best, they would have torn each other apart."

Zoro instinctively looked over at Sanji who was politely greeting the guests with a huge cup of whatever liquor he had found in his hand, and at the same time Bartolomeo entered in Zoro's field of view with a huge grin plastered on his lips.

That was going to be a hell of a long night, Zoro knew it.

To Be Continued...