Disclaimer: The plot is EstrellaGrace and the rest is Stephanie Meyer's
There is abuse in this story so if you are uncomfortable…Please stop reading!
Adopted from EstrellaGrace.
JPOV
I woke up with a crick in my neck. That was just a bad way to start the day, dammit it. I went to bed knowing that today was going to be shitty.
My morning is mechanical because I prefer to keep a very structured routine. Every school morning I get dressed, eat breakfast, brush teeth, listen to music.
It may be a cliche for me to enjoy country music, but what else do you expect from a kid from Texas? Not that modern country shit. I like the older stuff. Sometimes I like to sing along, but not very loudly. If Mike or his parents caught me singing, I would never hear the end of their laughter. I don't like to be laughed at. I have had enough of that growing up.
"All my exes live in Texas, that's why I hang my head in Tennessee," I sing quietly, so as not to disturb the slumbering adults.
This is how it is every day, and I don't want to deviate from my very set schedule at home. But I do need to get to school early. I need to get on the computers in the library. Coach Clap had suggested a website that might be able to help me.
I hurry to school in Mike's old car and head in when I get there. I make sure to arrive only thirty minutes early so that I don't look too out of place.
I have always been very self-concise of myself. Sometimes it like I can feel what people think of me. I am not hearing their thoughts. More like I am feeling what they feel. It makes me feel insane sometimes.
Nobody is here except the janitor and the librarian. The library was quiet when I arrived. I let out a sigh of relief. Thankful for the quietness, I go to the section in the library that I need and check out a few books. I keep looking over my shoulder at the door every few seconds to make sure that nobody sees me, and quickly shove the novels into my backpack. I sit down in the far dark corner with my books and start reading.
People start coming in slowly and it gives me a sense of the time. You can only get so much done in a half an hour. I look down at my stack and realize that I got very little done in reality. Halfway through the first book is not a good sign. When I heard the five-minute bell ring, I sighed.
This day is going by just as slow as ever. My classes are repeated from yesterday. The only variation to my schedule is that every other day, which is today, my P.E. is switched to a study hall. That class doesn't come until later.
Strangely enough, I am looking forward to it, I don't understand, but I am looking forward to seeing Edward there. I try to shake off the thought and focus on other things. I can't help it.
English with Edward was boring yesterday but wasn't his fault. The only thing we really did was watch a biography.
Lunch was when my whole day went to shit. Just as I predicted it would this morning. I was just sitting there, minding my own business, and eating pizza with my friends. Then, I heard the clicking sound of heels behind me. Multiple clicking noises. Great, more than one set of heels.
Ignore them, I tell myself. What I can't ignore is a tap on my shoulder. I huff and turn around, only to feel the icy cold wetness hitting me from more than one side.
I feel like I am drowning. Bad childhood memories flashed before my eyes. My instinct is to lash out. Some rational sense invaded my mind before I did that. It was Lauren and Jessica who decided to throw four cups of water in my face, one in each hand.
"Hey retard," Lauren starts. "Nice of you to show me up yesterday! You can't just do that to a girl and not expect payback. This is the last time I am going to let it slide. Yeah, I remember all the times last year when you would send one of your buddies, and I'm not going to forget that anytime soon. I'm going to make you regret the day you were born."
Those last words seal the deal. Even the way she said those words got to me. I stood up fast. I was angry. Both Jessica and Lauren took a step back in fear. I turned and walked as calmly as I could. I head out of the room while I am inwardly freaking out.
As soon as I made it out the doors, I ran as fast as I could to the car. Getting in, I sat down in the driver's seat and put my head on the steering wheel. I take big deep breaths while trying to slow down my heartbeat. My heart felt like it was trying to beat itself out of my ribcage.
The passenger-side door opened, but I don't move my head to look and see who it was. I was afraid that if I did, that everything that I was feeling would come spilling out. I was shaking I was so angry. I felt like my head would explode from all of my racing thoughts.
My uncle, when I did something he deemed as bad, would hold my head down in a bucket of water. He would do this until I passed out from lack of oxygen. Then the sick bastard would revive me so that he could do it all over again.
I could have handled them only throwing the water at me. But once she said those words, "I am going to make you regret the day you were born," it became too much for me. That kind of verbal abuse was one of my uncle's favorite ways to terrorize me.
"Hey, what happened back there? Are you okay?" I recognized Edward's voice and I laugh at myself. Of course, it wouldn't be Mike coming to check up on me. It was the shy foster kid. Being in the foster care system, he probably could see right through me.
No, Mike was off being Mike. He was too busy with his girlfriend to know when I need a shoulder to lean on. The same said girlfriend that was part of this mess.
I pulled myself together for Edward's sake if not mine. The dude hadn't even been here a week and I have already put him through quite a shitload. First, he drives me to Dr. Dad while I am high. Because we were at a party. Second, he watched me break down in English because my chances of playing football are in danger and that is my one real chance at a career. I'm still floundering the dark about what do about that. I feel like I don't have time to look for help. Third and last, he watched me break down because of a couple of mean girls at school. Oh yeah, that was real manly.
At least I'm not crying, that would have made this situation ten times worse. I don't want anyone to see me at my lowest. Besides, I don't cry. I haven't done that in eight years.
"I'm fine, man," I said. I forced all my emotions into a tightly locked box. I don't want my emotions to show. There was something about him that makes me feel calmer.
"You are obviously not fine right now. I know I am the new kid and you don't want to burden me or whatever. I don't care. I am a great listener. I may not have gone through the same things that you have, but I have seen and dealt with a lot of crap." Edward's words are said very quietly, but they help me. Even his presence next to me is tremendously calming. "I consider you to be my only friend right now, other than my siblings, and I want to help you."
"Okay, I'm not fine right now. Just give me a minute Ed, and I will be." Guess we're on a nickname basis, my bad. I really just wanted him to give it up, I think to myself. Liar, my other half-whispered to me. I quickly squashed that part of me that wanted to confess to him. He stays quiet for a while.
I didn't understand why I trusted him. I felt peaceful around him. The two of us spent a fair amount of time not talking during the lunch hour. I needed the quietness to regroup myself.
I could tell he was feeling me out. I suspected he was looking for a kindred spirit. With Edward being a foster kid, that meant there was no telling what he had seen or done. Thinking about my time in foster care made me shiver.
I had wanted to believe that. Unfortunately, there was something about him that reminded me of something or someone. I couldn't put my finger on it.
"I want to do something this weekend," Ed said. I looked at him and shrugged. What's that got to do with me? He laughed at my expression and I scowled. "I'm not laughing at you, Cowboy. I meant that I want to do something this weekend, but I don't know where anything is. Frankly, I don't feel like being dragged around by Alice and Emmett. I don't know where there's a good music store. I was hoping maybe, that you were more social than me. Maybe you could show me something that you all do for fun around here?"
Oh, well when you put it like that….
"Yeah, sure." That actually sounded like fun. "It'll have to be Sunday. I have some friends down in La Push that I have been meaning to see for a while. I guess I could introduce you to some of the guys." Jacob and Seth didn't think highly of Mike. I wondered what they would think Edward. I wanted to find out. "And what's the whole 'Cowboy' deal?" He seems to panic for a moment but quickly covered it up.
"Sorry, it's your accent, the boots, the buckle. You try to hide the way you talk, but I have spent some time in Texas and Mexico." He smiled shyly at me with one side of his lips curving up more than the other. The perfect crooked grin. Why do his eyes look so old? "I know you try to hide it, I even understand why. I think you are being silly. But like I said, I understand."
It took me a few seconds to digest what he said. Sometimes it felt like he was trying to say something else. Edward was very guarded.
"Sunday sounds great." Then his face drops. I can feel how upset he is now and disappointed. "Carlisle doesn't want any of us to be going to La Push. Something about it being too far away from home."
Lame excuse. That felt fake as shit. I can tell it's fake but I don't point it out to him. I can always smell a lie. Normally I can feel why, but Edward was hard to read. "We can go to Port Angeles though, I've had a few places I like to visit there. They might be up your alley." Port Angeles was further away.
I actually should be visiting my friend Jake. I wanted to go cliff diving before the water gets too cold, I make a mental note of that. Now I'm looking forward to this weekend. Shame Edward wasn't joining me. This thought made me shiver.
"Um, yeah. Sure Ed," I couldn't help but smile. "But it means you are carpooling since you thought of it." I'm not made of money here, and gas is expensive. Most of my money from my parent's death has been spent by my numerous guardians and I am trying my best to save what I have left of it.
I see him nod very slightly. "Great, I was going to suggest that anyway since I probably drive faster than you." I would have retaliated, but I had a feeling that my next class was about to start. The government class was going to be starting really soon.
I saw him flash me a crooked grin. He was as good at reading people as me. He was not a normal teenager. I had no room to talk.
"Bell just rang," he said. I saw him glance towards the school building. Edward and I had been out here for a while and neither of us would have been able to hear the bell from this far out. How did he hear it? My hearing had always been really good and I didn't hear it.
I lock Mike's car behind us as we both get out and head back inside the school. The classes go by and I am grateful when study hall is here. I sit in the classroom with my football friends and feel a little bad about leaving Edward out.
That feeling went away when I glanced over at him, I noticed he has caught the attention of Lauren Mallory. She was currently blabbering on about some shit and Edward was looking around the room for an escape. When his eyes met mine, he and mouthed the words, "Help me!" I shrug and he glared at me.
"Hey, New Yorkie," Eric looked over at me quickly. He was just glad to see that I was giving him my attention. "Go over there and tell Mallory that you wanna fuck." He winked at me and did just that. I was trying not to be disgusted that he would even consider what I had said. I wouldn't touch that girl with a ten-foot pole if I could help it.
The relief rolls off of Edward. Almost like I can feel how relieved he is. He looked towards me and smiled gratefully. I just nod and get back to talking strategy with my friends.
When the bell rings, I gather my team and walk outside. There is a Volvo and Porsche in the parking lot. That's where all of the Cullens were hanging around, the guys in the Volvo and the girls in the Porsche.
I jog over to the window of the Volvo, where Edward, Emmett, and Varian are, and knock on the driver's side window. Emmett is driving with Edward in the passenger's seat and Varian in the back.
"What's up?" Emmett asks me and my squad of football players behind me.
"Hey there guys, just coming around to see if you would join the football team. Y'all look strong enough to take out half the field!" Flattery, one of my best subjects. There is no way you can go wrong with a few compliments. The boys looked around at each other. Then it looked like they were having some kind of conversation but nobody was talking. This family was creepy.
Vee being the spokesperson said, "I don't know guys. We aren't really all that into sports. On TV, maybe, but playing isn't near as fun." What a stick in the mud. Edward and Emmett seem to be in disagreement, even if they did not say anything. There was something about Vee that didn't sit well with me. Everybody else seemed to buy it and my squad started to walk away, but I'm not done yet.
"Okay, I agree with you…. sorta. But," and I held up one finger. "Just come to our practice today and see if you change your mind then. It isn't too late to join the team, you know. Always open to some new members." I really don't want Coach to be disappointed in me. I wanted them to get a taste and see if they liked it. If I can at least get them to come to a practice, he might go a little easier on me.
They look around at each other again, then before Vee can get the words out of his mouth, Ed locked his eyes with me then looked back at Vee. The next thing I hear is,"bite me, Vee. One time at practice isn't going to hurt anybody. If you don't want to do it, just come back and get me later. I'll call the house when I'm ready to come home." Ed said as he got out of the car. I look back at to see Emmett opening his door. Emmett looks scary when he's excited. Vee is the opposite and is scowling with his arms crossed, but he followed his brothers and me, nonetheless.
My football squad looked back at me and they all start giving each other discreet high fives when they see that I managed to get the Cullen boys to at least come.
"This is great! Coach is going to want to talk to y'all sometime before or after practice. Don't be too intimidated by him. Hell, he'd be happy if you all were even cheerleaders seeing as Emmett here could scare half of the opposing team away just by being there." They all chuckle a little bit and I lead them down to the locker room in the basement of the gym.
I start whipping off my clothes along with all of my buddies when I get to my gym locker and the Cullens look shy. I keep talking to try and ease some of their discomforts.
"Call Coach Clapp, Coach when you," off with the shirt, "get out there. He is really picky about that. He might," pants pulled down, "call you out once or twice to throw a ball but don't be," sliding cup into my underwear, "embarrassed if your throw isn't all that great. There will," shoes off and shoulder pads on, "always be time to perfect your throw," pulling up my football pants, "and catch. I'll even," on with the jersey, "help you all out if you need a hand." I tuck my shirt in, pull on my socks, and start tying my cleats. Ed's eyes were kept downcast on the ground. While Vee and Emmett's were looking at their feet. It really doesn't bother me to be undressed because we're all guys here, nobody cares about your junk.
Emmett and Vee didn't dress out. I and some of the other boys help me find some extra practice pads for Edward. It doesn't take long to show him how to put everything on. I continued to talk to him as he pulled the beat up practice uniform on.
"We always start practice by running down and back the field twice just to get us warmed up." Vee still looks like he would rather be eaten by a shark than be here so I give him another option. An out. "Yo, Vee. If you seriously aren't interested at all, the cheerleaders are practicing by the bleacher, go have fun." I pat him on the shoulder and it seems to loosen him up. He chuckles along with me, too bad I wasn't kidding. I would rather be watching the cheerleaders than running but I am a dedicated player to my team.
I start running with my pals while the Cullens are talking to Coach. The other quarterback and I start our own practice and as do all of the others. We go into our own groups to work on what needs to improve. I noticed that Coach is trying to make this practice seem extra appealing to the Cullens so that they might be more motivated to join. He tells us that we are going to be doing a scrimmage today so we go off into our usual teams. I look over at Ed and Emmett, I know Vee is lost cause.
I notice Edward's eyes are following me. Periodically when I would look over at them, Edward was always looking at me. I'll have to ask him about that weird behavior later but right now I need to win this scrimmage.
I throw the ball to Mike who was on his way to the touchdown line and he makes it with the other team right on his tail. Mike starts dancing and throws the ball back to me. We go over to the bench to rub it in the other team's face that we won. That when I see the Cullens standing up and clapping for us. I do a mock bow and toss the ball to Ed who catches it swiftly.
"Nice catch!" I yell. He smiles at me and ducks his head, I was going have to try to get rid of the shyness in him. That won't do for sports players. "Throw it back now," I yell back. I see him line his fingers up with the laces on the ball. Then with incredible speed, he fires the ball back at me.
I just barely catch it in time for it not to hit my face and my hands sting from the power of the throw. Shit, I think to myself. I bend at the waist and stick my damaged hands between my thighs. That seriously hurt! Now I can really feel it. My team doesn't notice my pain. Thank God.
I hear an "I'm sorry," from Edward. He's upset, I can tell and he's coming closer. I try to wave him off with my wounded hands and go back to join the team before we head back to the locker room. Only Edward goes to the locker room with the rest of the guys. I get the feeling Emmett won't be joining the team.
Edward finds a corner to himself and dresses out. Not looking at anyone. He is not a social creature, is he? If he is going to hang me with that was going to change.
How long had he been the foster system before the Dr. Cullen adopted him? I found myself burning to ask him a few question. I took my time to study him. I see small OCD things. Always neat and tidy. Always polite. Shy. Doesn't like to make friends. He won't talk to anyone unless they talk to him first, except for me and family. Honestly, I don't think he is being abused or anything like that. There is a few piece that doesn't mesh quite right. The more I talk to him, the more I want to know about him.
I sit on the bench in the middle of the locker room. I haven't put my shirt on yet. Due to the pain in my hands. Thank God, I keep lotion in my locker in case I get a burn during practice. As I go to reach for said lotion, I see a shadow appear above me. Looking up, I see Edward.
"Sorry about your hands, Cowboy." He said very softly. He's worried that he has done something wrong. "I really didn't mean to hit you that hard. Must have been the wind helping me out or something." His eyes meet mine briefly and then dart away. He's trying to figure out how upset I am. "I hope that this isn't going to impair our plans for Sunday are they?" His presence is just exuding nervousness.
I can't help but chuckle at him. I knew that there wasn't any wind blowing. I would have welcomed it on my overheated body. I would have noticed.
"Well duh, Ed. I should be applauding if I could use my hands. You have an amazing throw. You really got a great arm on you there, you could put it to good use by joining the team, you know." I raise my eyebrows hopefully but he just shakes his head with a small smile. He wants to, I can tell. Maybe I can wear him down. "It was a longshot. Hey, if you want to make it up to me, you could help me put my shirt back on."
He jumps at my suggestion, probably thinking I was joking. Unfortunately, I could really use all the help I can get right now. Mike is probably fuming in the car right for now for taking so long. Let him even say a word to me, I'll beat his ass if he gives me any bullshit.
I stand up and raise my arms like a little child and we both start laughing. He helps me quickly and I sit back down. I grab the lotion slowly and start to open the top with my teeth. Ed snatches it for me and starts putting it on my hands.
"Whoa there, pal. No need to make this any more awkward than it is already. I can do this part myself, I'm a big boy you know." I slowly start moving my palms together and grit my teeth through the pain. Ed grabs my wrists and pulls my hands back over to him.
"Let me ease my conscience here. This is the least I can do for messing up your perfect football hands." It still hurts when he uses his cold hands to massage my warm ones. Strangely enough, he seems to know what he's doing. It still hurts. I don't tell him that. I just close my eyes and try to think of something else. His hands are really cold actually, at least they are soothing the burn of the pain. Somewhat.
"In Alaska, I was taking introduction medical classes after school. I was learning the fundamentals. I was interested in learning physical therapy." I wasn't complaining. Was he able to do messages and rub down, too? Would he be willy I wondered?
The weird things about this family are really not adding up. Ed is cold, super strong, he moved really fast that one time I was high. I have been forced or conned into taking all kinds of drugs growing up, cocaine may speed you up, but it doesn't make everyone else do it too. Acid maybe, but not cocaine. I'm not sure if the speed thing counted. There were other things I wanted to question. Like the way he and his siblings were acting like they were having a conversation in the car when nobody was talking. I'm not going to pry into what doesn't concern me but his cold hands make me concerned that he is anemic or something. In the back of my mind, it does make me think of something else, but I don't remember.
"My little buttercup has the sweetest smile…. Dear little buttercup, won't you stay awhile….." My ringtone for Mike started blaring and Ed grabbed it out of my gym bag and held it to my ear. I shoot him a look of gratefulness.
"Hey, yo Jasper?" I hear Mike's voice on the other end. I hear Jessica giggling and then Mike moaning into the phone.
"Mike, what?" He moans again and I am suspicious that he might have butt dialed me, but he said my name so he obviously did it on purpose.
"Just called to say that you don't need to be waiting for me at school anymore. Jessica's parents are on vacation for a few months and I am just going to be staying at her house for a little while." Then another giggle, "don't wait up." The phone cuts off, saying that he ended the call. Well, there goes my best friend and cousin for a while. At least I'll still see Mike at school. That is if he decides to come to school at all. Why would he, if he is constantly around a horny, teenage girl. No straight guy in his right mind would think otherwise.
Ed and I walk out to our cars, his full of impatient boys, and mine is empty. Edward is greeted with a glare from Vee and Emmett ruffling his hair, making it stick out in every direction.
Mike always kept his hair short and spiky. He always teased me for having long hair, but I liked that way. Ma uses to comb and play with it. I left it long for her. Edward's hair had that mad scientist thing going for him. Fits him.
I leave him with a simple goodbye and pull out of the parking lot, driving with my forearms. He watches me drive off and I wave as I leave. I decided to give Mike's parents some excuse for him being gone for a while. Not that they would care if they knew where he was anyway.
Slipping carefully out of my clothes, I polished my buckle and crawled under the covers.