The Catalyst remained behind her, watching her progress. Her ears rang, her head swam, and she could only assume her body was in her pain. A brief, faltering moment made her stop walking. Exhaustion washed over her, like a wave of heat. To stop, to rest, to just be done was all she wanted anymore. She took a deep breath, staring ahead of her. In all honesty, the thought of dropping to her knees felt tempting, but she knew what was at stake.
Commander Shepard and her crew didn't come this far for nothing.
Shepard felt strangely calm as she connected her mind to her body, urging herself to continue forward. What made her hesitate was that she had no idea what the results of her decision would be. If she had learned anything over her years, it was that every action had a consequence. Her decisions were made under full awareness that she would have to handle the results. At the end of the day, she knew she would hold the brunt of the damage if something went wrong. Plus side of being the "leader," she supposed.
Her right hand brought up her pistol, feeling more confidence as she moved toward the power conduit down the short path on the right side. Right now, the only thing she could do was hope that she had done enough. She mentally apologized to everyone she knew, wishing she had one last chance to say goodbye. But perhaps this time, it would finally all be over. They deserved a chance to live; this universe that put her through so much, forced her to make so many decisions, and lose so much, deserved the chance to live. With luck, it would be enough.
The first shots at the power coils were wavered, uncertain. Shepard's eyebrows furrowed in one last act of defiance. She'd be damned if she was going to go out without something. Her left arm screamed in protest as she brought her other hand up to grip the gun. Debris and shrapnel flew past her as she kept walking toward the conduit, her shots steady now. New cuts on her face and arms went ignored as she stared at the erupting conduit.
Flashes of her crewmates, her friends, came to her as she continued to fire the rest of her clip. Ashley, Thane, Anderson, Mordin, Legion … and finally EDI came to her for a moment. She was aware enough to feel her eyes begin to well up with tears. Maybe this was her last chance to thank them. Thank you, for everything you've done for me. I'm sorry I couldn't do more.
The power conduit erupted in a force of intense light and heat. Shepard was thrown backward by the blast, but she felt nothing. She was aware the pistol was knocked from her hand as she was thrown backward. Her subconscious told her her body had crumpled to the ground. A instinctual defense in her brought up her biotic barrier, though she somehow knew it was weak, as the explosion seemed to engulf her entire being. The commander assumed the Crucible/Citadel/Catalyst, whatever C-word they wanted to call it, was beginning to fall around her.
At once, the energy of her body drained of her, as if she was hurdling into an unknown darkness. She would have laughed out loud if she had the ability. Falling off of a cliff, that feeling in your stomach when you missed a stair and almost fall … that was what death was like. Well, peaceful death, she supposed. Could be worse, she thought. Last time I was smothered inside my own damn helmet. But she was determined for her last moments to be hers. The last seconds of Commander Shepard would be spent in contentment.
Garrus came to her mind's eye. Again, if she had the ability, she would have smiled. One of her favorite memories of him was in the main battery, making some joke as he tinkered at the weapon work bench. He turned and smirked at her before resting his rifle across his shoulders, his narrow but strong frame silhouetted by the light behind him. Shepard had laughed then, saying he belonged on a motivational poster on Palaven with that pose. His grin widened as he approached her, asking if the pose motivated anything from her. It was strange, but thrilling to see this once uncertain, frustrated turian exuding such confidence. Despite herself, she felt her insides flutter in excitement, like some teenager thrilled to have their crush look in their direction.
Shepard's lips met his rough ones without second thought, the friction sending another thrill through her.
Commander Shepard's last moments were spent in memory of Garrus Vakarian, codename: Archangel … her incredible turian. She asked once more for this final decision to be enough. No longer for her, but for all of them … for him. Let it be enough.