Disclaimer: The plot belongs EstrellaGrace and the rest is Stephanie Meyer's. There is abuse in this chapter so if you are uncomfortable….Please stop reading. Proofreading by Strongwolfprincess
JPOV
Life on the reservation was different. It was more than a sense of family or community. They were a tribe. There was a special bond of responsibility.
The night had ended on a somber note last night. Jake clammed up on me and refused to talk. Later that night, after I had fallen asleep, he must have kicked sand over the campfire. Then he woke me up and dragged me off to he old V.W. car. I think it was an old Rabbit.
He told me that I was camping on his couch tonight, not the beach. In my stressed out sleepy state, I didn't put up a fight. I barely remember getting out of the car and through the front door. And I don't remember making it to the couch. But that was okay. This was Jake. He was different. I appreciated that.
The next morning I got woke up to the smell of bacon cooking. The one smell in the world that I would crawl across broken glass for. Apparently, Billy thought the same thing. I saw him making a beeline to the kitchen in his wheelchair. I was willy to believe he had the right idea.
I had slept in my jeans last night. On the floor next to the couch was my cowboy boots with my hat laying on top of them. I found my socks stuffed inside my boots. I put them on and left the boots and hat tuck around the side of the couch where no one could trip over them.
"Damn Jake, when'd you learn to cook?" Billy was pulled up to the table waiting for breakfast. I decided to make myself useful and go get plates, glasses, and silverware.
"Get the orange juice out of the 'fridge," Billy held his glass up. "Would you please kiddo. No, after his sisters left for college this summer, he figured out that food tasted better when it wasn't burnt."
"Sure thing sir." It was easy to want to do things for Billy. He was always so nice to me. He treated me the same as he did Jake. There always seemed to be a lot of big muscled teenage boys going in and out of Billy's house. All friends of Jake no doubt. I think Billy enjoyed having young teenage kids running around. He liked being a den father. Any other man I would have been very suspicious of. My up bring had taught me that.
"Chow time," Jake said with a lot of animation in his voice. He promptly dug in the second the food hit his plate.
I took two eggs and a handful of bacon. Billy did the same. Anything left was scarfed down by Jake on his second helping. No one said anything, we just ate in satisfying silence. We were men, there was no need to make small talk while eating.
Glancing at the clock I noted that Jake still had an hour before he had to leave for school. Last night I had told Jake what had happened at Forks High with Mike yesterday. He had asked about what had happened after that. I gave the short story. I had a friend drop me off. Then I walked the rest of the way to the beach.
Billy left after a little while, leaving me and Jake alone. After a few minutes, I looked up to see Jake watching me push what was left of the food on my plate.
"What eating at you Jasper?" I can't help but smirk, but I keep my eyes down on my plate.
"I think its time for me to tell you a new story about a Cold One." This made Jake set his fork down.
"I think you should leave the storytelling to me, Jasper." His tone was serious. He didn't like this. I could tell he wished I would drop this subject. I kept my voice low so Billy wouldn't overhear.
"When I was young, my uncle brought a woman home," I said as I pushed what was left of my eggs to one side of my plate. Just thinking about this was making my stomach turn. Jake and I had touched on this subject of Jame before. He knew of my past, just not the details. "I thought things would be better...I was wrong. The bitch got off on what James like to do to me."
I heard Jake make a growl in the back of his throat. It was very animalistic. I felt the hairs on my arms stand up. That was not a human sound. Descended from wolves, I reminded myself. I didn't want to know more secrets. So I pushed on without asking. Maybe one day. I had other secrets too. I didn't feel up to inviting more.
"Then she st-started playing with me. Not just touching and sexual things." A cold sweat was running down the back of my neck. I was trying not to get sick. "The first time, she pulled out a little silver knife and slashed the inside of my arm." I rolled up one of my sleeves. Jake had seen the many cuts before. The one other time I had shown him these cuts before. It had disturbed him very badly. He had asked if I was a cutter. I never gave him an answer. I just covered myself back up as quickly as I could. "She would cut me and lick the blood from my arm, legs, or whatever other body parts she wanted to taste. The cut would heal immediately. It burned like hell. Because of the venom." I moved to the chair next to Jake. "Give me your hand Jake." I took one of his fingers and run it over some of the slash marks. They were colder than the rest of my skin. Slightly raised and paled white like dead flesh. The sunlight that filtered in made the scares glitter unnaturally. "I believe everything you said last night. I need answers." My life was hinged on so many variables. I needed more than just answers.
"Dude," Jake pulled away from me quickly. I felt a twinge of panic from him. He looked around real fast to make sure no one was listening. "I broke the treaty!"
"I could be killed!" That got his attention.
"The Cullens wouldn't do that." Then he realized the slip. I felt very satisfied now. I leaned back in the chair and rolled my sleeve back down. I took a few seconds to study Jake.
He still had a half hour before he left for school. He was already dressed and ready to go. I was planning on walking back to Forks after this. I figured it would take the better part of the day. That was fine. I had nowhere to be today. I was a dead man anyway.
"Buddy, I have a death sentence hanging over my head. I already know too much. Maybe your tribe has some special immunity. I don't know. Last night after the fight, one of them took me somewhere. He cleaned my cuts and damn near gave me a full medical check-up in the front seat of his car. I cornered him about some of his strangeness."
"That explains what I am smelling. Hell, I can still smell him on you. Its the redhead, isn't it?"
"Smelling," I echoed his commit. Jake face gave a little, then a small smile graced his lips.
"Remember," he pointed at his chest. "I'm descended from wolves." Why the hell not? I am in this deep. What next? I lean back in the old wooden kitchen chair and closed my eyes.
"His kind has rules they must follow. Because of that bitch of my uncle's, I was exposed to his world. He wouldn't tell what he was. He said if I knew there was only two option that he would be left with. Death or the kiss of death."
"He can't!" Jake's fist slammed down on the table, making the old oak wood crack a little along the grain. "If he does either we will destroy his whole clan."
"This isn't Ed's fault and you know it. You told me. Not him. You broke the treaty. He refused to tell me because of that reason. He was worried about that Vicky bitch coming back to finish the job to cover her tracks. He said if he told me what he was, it would put his Coven in danger." Jake just sat there in shock, staring at the tabletop. Glancing at the clock on the wall, I realized what time it was. "You need to get going, Jake. It's time for school."
"Will you be here when I get back?"
"Yeah," I'm lying of course. I'm waiting for him to leave. Then, I'm out the door. I wasn't feeling like being that social. I had a few days to kill. I was a dead man anyway. The school didn't matter anymore.
Fuck it. Nothing mattered anymore.
EPOV
It was bad enough I had to involve Carlisle. I didn't want to endanger the rest of them. This whole situation was out of my hands before I had even found him. There was a chance the female vampire would hunt him down. Even if Jasper stayed quite. The last thing I wanted was for Jasper to be killed.
The only other one that knew about Jasper, was Alice. Right now she was being oddly quiet. She couldn't 'see' him right now, but she could see him later at school. A few days later. Safe and whole. She saw a few things later on. Nothing big, just a few weeks ahead. Winning game after game for his school. There were a few mundane things. What she did show me put me in a better place. It did give me some reassurance that he was have something of a normal life. Right now, I will take what I can get.
As much as I hated to say it, I know he is safe where the werewolves roam. They despised vampires. Their treaty forced them not to say anything. It wasn't much, but it was all I got.
It was too sunny to go to school today. That didn't mean anything to me. Jasper wasn't there. That meant I didn't want to be there. If this had been a Friday, the whole coven would have gone on a hunting trip. Probably somewhere near Canada.
Instead, it was Thursday. That meant we went out in smaller hunting parties. Carlisle and I were somewhere in the Cascades Mountain Range. I didn't find any large cats. I did settle for a bear and a deer. The bear was a little salty for my taste, but I didn't want to begone to long. The deer was just downright gamey.
It has been too long since it was just the two us out together, Carlisle thought. I had told him once when I talk to people I would hear what they were thinking right before they would say them. When I was first was turned, I had asked him not to talk out loud because it confused me. I remembered him smiling, nodding, and then thinking that it oddly made sense. What is on your mind, Son?
I held a single finger up, asking him to give me a few seconds. I wanted to make sure no one could overhear what was being said. I closed my eyes and let my mind wander. I had about a three-mile radius. Carlisle and Alice, I could hear further than that.
"We're good," I open my eyes and nodded to him.
Now, what is going on? You have been acting peculiar. Since this current school year has started, you have been on edge. When we had come to the edge of a ravine, he promptly sat down and let his feet dangle over the edge. He patted the ground next to himself, inviting me to join him. As a vampire, there was no need to sit. There was no need to rest. With Carlisle, it was different. He made me want to be better. To want to take the time to do small stuff.
"I have met someone." Carlisle went completely still. I had his attention.
"Who is it son," he spoke out loud. I must have really surprised him. In his head, he had already made the connection. "Is it Jasper?" I nodded my head slowly. Ther was the point of hiding it.
His mind was going a million miles an hour. Almost digitizing. Different contingency plans were playing across his mind. All of them ending with Jasper leaving with us in one form or another. Human or not, but eventually being changed. This was something that he wasn't detouring on.
"We have another problem," He merely paused and raised an eyebrow at me. "He already knows what we are. Kinda." Carlisle merely waved me on. He wanted to hear the rest. "His uncle, I suspect, was a playtoy for a female vampire. With very violent and bloody kinks." My father nodded, he wasn't surprised. Without going into details, he had a pretty good idea what that entailed. He knew better than me, just how cruel our kind could be. "And she liked to toy with Jasper too. Father, he has seen her in the daylight. He knows what we can do. He just doesn't know what we call ourselves."
Not yet. Granted, he has kept his mouth shut for this long. But the Volturi don't care about. This moves the timeline up. We have no choice but to-
"No," I had to stop this line of thinking now. "He's my mate. I need to be the one that talks to him. If he comes up missing right now the authorities will come looking for him. In this day and age, we have to be discreet. There have to be a few of loose ends as possible. Nothing that can be traced back to us. If we are going to do this, we need to do this right."
Yes, your right. Alice and you are my scouts and my rear guards. The two you are the security, the protectors of the coven. The two of you have always taken this role with the utmost efficiency. There is a reason this coven is the envy of most.
I nodded, listening to his thoughts. He trusted me to do the right thing as long as I didn't endanger the rest of the coven. I wasn't his only concern. This was my role. I was his first offspring. His kindness and temperament was the glue that kept our bond so tight. We still fought time to time. And good heavens, we have had a few very bad disagreements. We always came back to each other.
In vampire traditions, I was his heir. His firstborn. With a coven of this size, came a lot of responsibility. I had as much power as Esme, Carlisle's mate. Behind closed doors, I was the one that everyone came to gripe at. Many of times I played mediator, or if they needed something and was too afraid to say something. I had learned to say something early so nothing had time to fester.
I did my best to stay out of my family heads. It wasn't easy. By now they were use to it and ignored me. Most of the time.
I looked over at my father to see him smiling at me. Do you want me to talk to him or do you want to be the one? I turned to face him.
"He is my mate. I will talk to him." I could see his face and body language. I could tell he was proud of me.
About your bond too. I winced at that. I still hadn't figured out how to talk to him about this. With everything else, he did need to know that.
Some knowledge makes a man a fool. To little makes them dangerous. It is safer to provide a man with the best the tools for him to understand what he is up against. Mates must always be able to trust each other. I had to build that trust now before he becomes a newborn vampire and you have to start from scratch. And Carlisle was right.
" We need to go home, Carlisle." Standing up I politely held my hand out to him as a sign of respect. Standing up without my help, he took my hand and pulled me into a hug.
"I do believe you need a shower, there is matted blood all in your hair." The bear had put up more of a fight than I was expecting.
JPOV
It took over an hour to walk out of the Reservation. I used one of the back service roads. Honestly, I didn't care where I went after this.
I had two option. I could pretend that all this weird shit wasn't going on and head home. Take the ass whipping like a man and go to school Monday. That meant I would have to avoid Edward and his family. Just the thought of not talking to Ed made my stomach twist.
Option two. I could run away. Hope I find someplace where no one could find me. No. That was a bad idea. Every time I did that, someone always brought me back. I wasn't 18 yet.
Part of the road ran parallel to a small river. I was in need of a place to think. The sound of the river drew me in. The water was too cold to dip my feet in this time of year. It was the sound that made it seem so pleasant. It was someplace peaceful.
Peace, that was something that eluded me. Something I felt I would never have. I was pretty sure of.
Edward said I had two choices. Death or becoming like him. I have made it this far in life. I was too stubborn to run. I would not give into death. Would it really be that bad to be like Ed?
Edward was someone I was actually been attracted to. Sex was something that was always forced me. By men and women. Teachers, foster parents, older kids, bullies, strange men on the street that offered money in return: the list could go on.
With Edward, there was the offer of protection. Maybe even an out. It didn't feel right to use him like that. I wanted to know what I was to him. I wanted to know what he got out of this. Nobody did something for nothing. I knew right off the bat, I knew I would be a burden to his coven.
I needed to think about something else for a while. I let my mind wander. There was no mind-reading vampire here to catch all my stray thoughts. Especially if they were about him.
I never gave any thought about whether I was gay or straight. Those things didn't matter to me. It was sex I avoided like the plague. The thought of being touched in any matter like that made me want to throw up. With Edward, I didn't feel the need to pull away. I wanted to feel his touch. I craved it.
The sound of the small river was lulling. Making me sleepy. I eased back against the rocks to relax more. The lack of normal rain made the day feel warmer adding to the sleepiness. I drifted off not caring anymore.
Soft feather light touches made me lean into his touch. I craved his touch. Cold hands brushed the hair away from my face. Cold hard lips kissed the back of my neck gently tracing my hairline and ending at the small hollow behind my ear. Cold long nimble fingers ran through my hair. Another arm wrapped around me pulling back against a strong cold chest.
"You belong to me," the familiar voice whispered in my ear. Everything I was feeling was replaced with a bone-deep longing. I wanted to believe the familiar voice so badly. I felt teeth graze the bend of my neck. I shivered and let my head slipped to the side. I wanted this. "I will make you mine."
Fire poured through every place he touched. It licking and burn its way across me-
"Wake up, Jasper." Those familiar strong cold hands were encircling my waist. My head was resting on someone's shoulder. "Come on Cowboy. Time to wake up." I didn't want to wake up. I was tired of this life. I wanted out. "All in due time Cowboy," someone whispered.
Those strong cold hands were still holding me. I figured I was still dreaming. This was my dream I was going to enjoy it. One of my arms was pinned against his shoulder so I reached out with my other hand and touched his face. I then turned my head to kiss along his jawline. This dream was too perfect.
With my gift, I felt a sharp splash of surprise wash over me from someone else and I hear a loud gasp. That woke me up completely. I realized my hand was balled up into a fist and gripping his shirt.
His?
My sleepy eyes made their way up the face I had just kissed. It was Edward. He didn't seem mad or upset. His emotions were all over the place. I couldn't tell what he was feeling.
"Oh, dude, I'm so sorry." I tried to pull away but his strong hands kept me locked in place. He was eyeing me warily. I was waiting for him to freak or something. Then again I knew what he was and I wasn't freaking out.
"Say it, go ahead. I heard you. I want to hear you say it." Damn it he had heard me. The mind-reading thing was hard to get used to it. "I have gotten used to it over the years." Years, that was a whole another can of worms I didn't want to open. Not right now anyway. I bet you have.
"Vampire," I whispered. He stayed perfectly still. The only thing making noise was the water flowing by. Not even birds and animals were making a sound.
"I was hoping you were wrong," he said. I was hoping too. But this explained Vicky's need to cut me. "Cut?"
"Later." This was not something I wanted to get in to right now.
"Let me take you home Cowboy."
"Ha, I don't have a home." Now I saw him smile. "What?"
"I don't think you have anything to worry about." He loosened his grip on me. "I drove past Jessica's this morning." Standing up he dusted himself off. He was wearing what looked like a matte black and gray motorcycle riding suit. "He hasn't gone home yet. He feels bad about what happened yesterday. Besides, he hit you first." He held his hand out to me to help me up.
"I'm fine," and I go to stand up. I forgot the rocks were so slippy. My boots start to slide out from under me. This was going to hurt.
Familiar cold arms grabbed me again. If Edward had been anyone else, I would have pulled them in with me. Ass over tea kettle.
"Are you okay?" My heartbeat was going 90 to nothing. I nod my head to answer him. The rock ledge I had crawled out on was small, narrow, and wet. I was lucky I didn't bust my ass to get down here. The ledge wasn't very big.
The two of us standing here was making it very crowded. His arms were still around my waist. I refused to give anything away in my thoughts. What I did a few minutes ago was bad enough.
"Yeah, I'm fine." Looking up, I realized how far down I had climbed to get to this little ledge. I had about seven feet of wet mossy rock to scale. Briefly, I wondered why I had thought this was a good idea to climb down here. I was picturing bruised and bloody hands after I climbed back up. Maybe my kneecaps too.
"Do you trust me," he asked. Strangely more than I should. I decided to keep that thought to myself. I noted a slightly crooked grin at the corner of his lips. I liked it.
"No." I wasn't going to tell him that I did.
"Good enough," and that was the only warning I got. I felt his stony muscles coil right before he jumped. He cleared the rock ledge easily and set me down feet first on the damp grass. He seemed reluctant to release me. "Come on, my bike isn't far. The rain will be starting again in a few hours. Besides. We have a lot to talk about."
"Didn't we do enough of that last night?" Ed let out a soft sigh and started to walk off in the direction of the old service road. He was walking at a human speed but he was still moving at a very fast pace.
I saw a beautifully painted silver motorcycle. Silver must be his favorite color. That was the color of his car. He parked it in the shade under an evergreen. I couldn't help myself. I think it's amusing to see a vampire putting on a helmet. He was the one creature in the world that didn't need it.
"No, there are others out there. We are all different in our own way." My thoughts flickered back to Jacob for a second. I saw Ed's mouth take a hard line. "You really are good at keeping secrets, aren't you? You're also good at figuring stuff out too. Too good."
Yeah, unfortunately, I have a mind-reader nosing around. I still have a few things I am trying to keep private. I know why I was harder for him to read. I feel more than I think. I know it sounds weird, but that is really how I am.
I can feel Edward's golden eyes prying into me intently. He was probably rampaging around in my head. I saw the hint of a smile before he slid the dark visor of the helmet down.
He tossed me a gray helmet and swung his leg over the seat. I put it on and climbed on the back. He handed me a clear mesh bag for my cowboy hat and I tied everything down.
There was nowhere else to hold on but his waist. Normally I didn't like to touch people, but Ed was different. I don't understand it. I learning to trust my feelings.
Well, I'm trying. I know he won't hurt me, not deliberately. I know he doesn't want to hurt me. Realistically random things can happen that is out of mine and his hands.
"Do you always think this much?" His voice was muffled from the helmet. Yeah, I do. It makes sleeping very hard. It's hard when you can't turn your brain off at night and go to sleep. That and the nightmares. Ed paused and turned to look at me again. "Remember, I made a promise Cowboy."
He kicked down on the kick start. The bike rumbled to life underneath us. Ed gave it a little gas and I felt his foot shifting gears as we pulled away.
It didn't take long to get to Jessica's. Pulling up in front of her house wasn't near as daunting as going back home right now. I saw the curtains shift as someone moved in one corner of the window. I bet it was Mike peeking out the window. Hoping no one noticed. I saw Ed give a slight nod. Okay, it was handy having a mind-reader around.
I noticed that Ed left his helmet on until he got under the eves of the front porch. He made a play at fiddling with the chin straps on his helmet. Then I realized why. It was sunny out today.
The motorcycle and the riding gear made more sense now. A valid excuse to have every inch of your body covered and protected from the sunlight.
Mike whipped the door open before I could get a chance to knock. He was leery and staying out of arms reach. Some of his bruises were swollen and puffy. They were starting to turn an angry mix of purple, blue, and black. He gave me a long hard look for a good 30 seconds. Then he glanced over at Ed and I saw Ed straighten his shoulders.
I was willing to bet it was because of something Mike was thinking. Ed leaned against the wall near the door stoop. H was trying to stay away from the edge of the sunlight. That made it so he had to stand closer to Mike. That made Mike edgy. I don't think he liked Ed. That really didn't bother me. Ed was my friend, not his.
"What do you want," Mike said. He was resigned. I think he was worried about another fight.
"Nothing, we're family Mike." My Pa used to say everything could be cured with a handshake and pleasant a word. I hope my old man was right. "I don't want to fight with you. You're the closest thing I have to a brother." He eyed me hard. He was trying figure out what I wanted. I wanted to project calm and understanding. I really did love him. He and his folks were all I had left of my so call family.
He didn't invite me in. That was fine. It wasn't Mike's house. I understood. We didn't come to a resolution on Jessica. I gave him credit, he was quiet while I talk to him about his girlfriend. He didn't agree with me, but I didn't see him coming to her defense either. I didn't want to see him become her puppet. She ran with girls like Lauren. That should have been a sign.
Mike and I were on talking terms again. Not surprising. About twice a year we get into a knockdown, drag-out fight. We were overdue.
Edward agreed to take me home. Mike offered to drive me home too. I had declined Mike's offer. We had made up. But things felt different now. And I know why. There a girl in the mix.
Personally, I hope she kept her legs together when Mike wasn't with her. My Pa would have called him 'smitten'. I would have to agree, but a girl like her has a bad reputation for getting around.
Edward had strapped his helmet on halfway through Mike and mine's conversation and headed out to the bike. He was trying to give me some semblance of privacy. I know he heard us anyways. I was willing to bet Ed could hear an ant fart.
As I was walking towards him, he tossed me the spare helmet and revved up the motor. He let it idle as I climbed on behind him.
He damn near took off at full speed the second I had arms around his waist. He leaned forward when the front wheel wanted to jump up. He was using his weight push it down. I didn't have any choice but to move with him. Feeling his back against my chest was making me feel things I had never willingly felt before. There was a lot of things he was making me feel.
Peer pressure dictates that I am a jock and not just any, but I was football player. Top of the high school food chain. That I could have my pick of cheerleaders or any pretty girl in the school.
My past said otherwise. I tried to keep the scares cover as best I can. My past said I was a throwaway foster kid. I am a ward of the state. At age 18, the tiny government check that Mike's folk got for keeping me would stop. At that point, if the foster family throws a kid out on the streets, oh well. If the former kid was still in school, then the kid had better make arrangements beforehand.
I don't know where Ed is going. Honestly, I didn't care. So much had changed in the past 24 hours. I'm not the wide eye innocent young teenager that I had been trying to portray. I hadn't been innocent since I was 8. I have had more dysfunctional sexual encounters by the time I was 12 than most had by 30.
Now with all the vampire activity, I had no idea if I should continue to push the football angle for scholarships. I really don't think this was something I wanted to think about. Not with Edward nearby.
I saw him glance over his shoulder briefly, then turn and look straight ahead. I felt the bike accelerate forcing me to tighten my hold on him. Maybe he was doing this a purpose.
If I thought he was fast in a car, I shouldn't have been surprised about the bike. The world was a blur to me. I tucked myself down behind him as best as possible, to knock the wind off of me. I was taller and wider than him so I caught more wind.
We came to a familiar dead end in the road. Maybe be it was a thinking spot for him.
Edward pulled his helmet off and combed his fingers through his fly-a-way hair. "You can let go now. I promise to stay still for a little while." He was grinning as he said this.
I found myself reluctant to peel my arms and hands away. Everything felt perfect. The tight riding suit left almost nothing to my imagination. I loosen my hold but I left my hands still touching him. I found myself wishing I didn't take my hands away.
Edward was holding very still. He could read my mind. I was waiting for him to show some kind of discomfort from my causal touching. What I did feel was curiosity and something else. He was trying to squash whatever he was feeling.
I let my hands drift. Just lightly touching. Running my fingers with feather light touches, I explore the dips and bends of his chest. I couldn't believe I was being this bold with him. He was holding very still. Barley breathing.
At first, his emotions were all over the place. Then he started focusing less on me and more what on I was doing. Want and need were becoming so strong it was affecting me. Making it hard to think straight.
Apart of me couldn't believe how bold I was being. He was the first person I had ever wanted. Everything about him was perfect. Hair, body, even the way he smelled. If this was living in sin, I wanted to be first in line.
My fingers found the top of his zipper on the riding jacket and began to pull it down. He had a snug white tee shirt underneath it. My fingers quickly slip under the edge of the hemline. His breath hitched a little when my warm hands graze the ice-cold skin of his stomach.
I took my feet off the back pegs and set them down on the firm pavement. I was a few inches taller than him and he fit perfectly against me. We matched like puzzle pieces. Ed shifted his weight to lean on me. I didn't think he realized that he was doing that.
I leaned my head forward and ran my nose down the hollow behind his ear. Shyly I kissed him there. I was gifted with a small moan.
"Please don't stop," he whispered. This made my dick twitch. I liked a begging Edward.
"Oh, you like that," I whispered in his ear. Just as shyly this time, I licked the someplace. He tasted incredible. I wanted him so bad it was hurting.
Ed was pretty enough to tempt the pope and nice enough to make the devil question himself. Everything about him made me want him. I found myself rubbing against him trying to find friction.
I sucked hard on his earlobe. His skin was too hard to bite. I wanted to mark him as mine so badly. I heard a low growl in the back of his throat. Sexy. The sound of him growling made me harder than I had ever been before. It was deliciously painful.
One of my hands drifted up. I lightly pinched one of his small hard nipples. At the same time, I let the other hand stray lower. I undid the snap at the top of his pants. The riding pants were to tight for me to get my hand down them. I settled for rubbing the outside of the pants. He bucked against my hand, trying to get more friction.
He was beyond coherent thoughts. I could feel everything he was feeling. I was drunk on a sexual high. I had always been on the receiving end.
In a dark quiet spot in my brain, I realized that Edward was what I wanted. I didn't dare let that thought rise to the surface. He wasn't mine.
"Harder," he sounded almost hoarse. With one hand he leaned on the gas tank. The other one was cupping my hand. We were still on the back of the bike. I couldn't push his pants down. There was too much in the way.
I gripped him hard and then I pushed all the feelings of lust I had for him. All my wants and needs. I overloaded his senses. That was when he hit the breaking point. He jerked against me and I felt him throbbing in my hand through his riding pants.
I eased his weight back against me. We were both breathing hard. That was when I realized I had my own release. And a sticky mess.
I felt his leg make a small kicking motion and the bike lean just a little. He must have put the kickstand down.
"Wow," I heard him gasp between pants. "Where did that come from?"
I swallowed hard and swung my leg over the back of the bike. All the euphoria I was just feeling was gone. I felt awful. I had forced something on him. Just like what other people had done to me. I was a sick individual. I had to leave before Ed realized what I had done him.
I had made about three feet before I felt a cold hand on my shoulder. When I didn't stop moving, Ed suddenly appeared in front of me. It really was amazing how fast he could move.
"This isn't right, Ed. You need to take me home. I'm sorry. Please don't tell anyone what I just did." I wanted to reach my hand out and touch the skin on his cheek. I was soiled goods. I had just forced him to enjoy something sexual. With a man. I was dirty.
"No!" Again I never saw him move. I found both cold arms wrapped around me. Keeping me from going anywhere. He had an iron grip I couldn't fight. I didn't want to fight. I wanted to fall into his embrace and stay there. I forced myself to remain upright. "I came out here to talk. Not here. We have to do a little walking."
"Ed-"
"No, just listen for a moment." he covered my mouth with a hand. "I brought you up this way because I wanted to talk to you. Well, not here...I wanted to show you someplace. Its where I go to think. It's far enough away that no will find us and I can't hear anyone. It's completely private."
I still hadn't move. Something wasn't clicking in my head. All I could think about was the stuff that had been done to me. I had, in turn, forced that on Ed.
"You're not forcing me to do anything that I am not more than willing to do myself. Just always remember, I will always be the willing for you." He gently laid his head on my shoulder and then laid a kiss in the crook of my neck. My knees almost gave under my own weight and the bottom of my stomach clenched. His strong arms held me in place. He wouldn't let me fall.
"Never, I will always be there to catch you." He kissed the same spot again. I'm not used to feeling this way. "I am well over a hundred years old. Do you really think you could make me do something I didn't want to do." He whispered in my ear. He had a definite point. Edward only looked young an innocent.
"You are right. Always remember that. That might save your life." I felt his nose trace my jawline. It took me a second to realize he was sniffing me. It seemed strange. Then he answered me, "because you smell good."
Slowly he let me go and backed away. I was confused. I didn't want him to let go. His touch made me feel grounded.
The past few days have left me spiraling into chaos. I don't know what I was doing. All summer, all I could think about was playing football games and hanging out with Mike and the boys.
The first night I met Ed, I damn near overdosed. Because of Mike no less. Not even a week into the school year, I was already suspended for fighting. Because of Mike.
In less than a week, I went from all American high school jock to lowly outcast. I could only imagine what all my friends were saying about me right now.
"Jasper," he said my name softly. All my sprawling thoughts center on Ed immediately. "Please, will you walk with me?" For some reason, I felt like I could follow him through hell. At this point, I would. I just nodded my head and set out to follow blindly.
We walked for awhile, not saying much. And that was fine. Once or twice I thought about trying to talk to him then I would change my mind. I was at a loss at what to do. I could already feel myself shutting down emotionally. I saw him look at me several times, checking on me. We even managed to make some small talk. Mostly stuff at school. Stuff like who's who and that kind of thing.
We finally stopped a few miles later in the middle of nowhere. We came to a sunny patch in the middle of the woods. Ed stayed back in the shadows. I knew he wouldn't burn in the sun, but I wondered if it hurt. Vicky went in and out of the sunlight, but she was a sadist and a masochist.
"No, it doesn't hurt. I guess all vampires are to some degree. Sensation and physical touch are heightened. It's hard to explain. What a human would consider painful, would make a vampire purr with delight. When emotions are running high, sometimes pain is one of the few things that will get our attention. Sometimes it's like having a permanent case of ADHD."
"Ed," his eyes snapped to me immediately. All his focus was on me. "You said I had two options. Death or change? I can't say I like my options."
"I would think you were insane if you did." He found a fallen log in the shade. Sitting down, he patted the spot next to him. I sat down and turned to face him. I pulled one knee up on the log as I turned. "Look, we really need to have a long talk. You're not some obsessed teen with a vampire fantasy. We have a real problem on our hands. If you hadn't outed me like you did, I could have danced around the subject. For a while anyhow."
"So you would have come clean eventually. I see." There was something he not telling me. He was nervous with a taste of fear. "Why?" I detested beating around the bush. That got on my nerves. I saw him nod before he answered me.
"Let me say this before this goes any further," he was real melancholy as he said this. "Whatever is decided, it will be on your terms. As much as possible. There is only so much I can promise, but I will try. Please listen to everything I lay out before you decide." I nodded, I could do that.
He took a deep breath a few times. The amount of stress that was rolling off of him would have given a human an aneurysm.
"Edward, whatever it is you can talk to me. I can't claim to understand. Not by a long shot. I will always be here for you. I will always listen." He took a few more deep breaths. He was calming down. I was still feeling emotionally withdrawn. It was the only way I could stay calm with his emotions running rapted. I needed to stay centered. I was up against a blade.
I have spent the last 8 years in and out of bad and worst situations. The first 8 years hadn't been the most pleasant either. Both of my parents had their drug of choice addictions. My pa's was alcohol and my ma had a thing for pills. I still kept the accident report in a binder in my sock drawer. That was where I kept all the really important stuff. The stuff I always took with me, no matter where I went.
"Since the day I meet you, I have not been able to stay away from you. Honestly, I don't I think I could if I wanted." He stopped to gauge my reaction. I only nodded. I was reserving judgment for the end of the conversation. It might even take until tomorrow before I was able to make a decision. "Take eternity. For you, I will always wait."
"Then I am not to catch you doing any weird creepy stocker shit." I would make his life a living hell if he did. He nodded again at this thought and I noted the small amount of guilt.
The open window. What else did I miss? Pushing down my aggravation, I motion for him to keep going.
"That and the night before. I stood outside and listen to the house in general. I had to make sure you lived somewhere safe. The Newson's are not my favorite people.I have seen much worse. They're not going throw you out when you turn 18. They will be expecting rent." I could live with that.
I was actually excepting worse. My uncle was an asshole and my aunt was an emotional doormat. They both like to drink. They owned a camping supply store near the center of Forks. The mini fridge was always filled with beer and assorted small liquors in the back office. Mike was bad about getting into it.
"There are some other ideas I might come up with," Ed said with a wistful smile. Again that would depend on how this conversation ends. "Yes, point taken." Get on with it Edward. "For my kind, the change is the most painful thing you will ever experience. It generally takes 3 to 4 days for the venom to spread through the body. It varies from how much blood is taken when you have been drained to where someone has been bitten to the proximity to the heart."
I had very brief thought of how a human shape bite mark over my chest. Right above my heart. It was one the few places on my body that didn't have scars on it.
Involuntarily Ed moved closer. Almost cat-like. Pausing, then he turned to face me completely with quick inhuman movement. I stayed very still as he leaned forward. I thought he was sniffing me. Then I realized he was really trying to get a closer look at my skin.
Strangely, I think he was turned on by my last fleeting thought. I noticed he felt very protective of me. He gave a low growl and I felt his cold fingers pulling at my shirt. He wanted to exam the different scars. Every one of them that he could find, had him asking which were done humans and which were not.
One nasty burn mark on the inside of my arm made him pause. He peeled my sleeve back carefully for a better look. With great care, he gently licked at the old burn. That scar had always been a thorn to me. It was rough and tight. The skin never grew back right. It had always of reminded me of fish scales in a way. It was from a camping trip accident at an all-boys camp one summer.
My skin took a pleasant chill and I could feel the scar tissue itching and tingling. After a few minutes, he did it again. Soothing the irritation.
"Sorry that one looks uncomfortable. I wish I could have found you years ago. I would have saved you. My deepest desire is to take away your pain and make you happy." He rubbed a finger across the new skin making it jump a little because of the new nerve endings.
"What am I to you," I ask quietly. I know there is no one else in this clearing with us. However, it feels like if I talk too loud, something might shatter. For a long span of seconds, he said nothing. Keeping his eyes downcast.
"Mate. My kind mate for life. We pick one partner and that's it for life." I could still feel how prominent his fear was.
"That's what I am to you?"
"Yes," he said in a whisper. He pulled back a little and looked down at the ground. He was worried. I didn't know what to think either. Here was this beautiful creature sitting next to me. Willing to do anything for me. He didn't tell me, but I knew. I could feel it. There was something between us and I could feel it growing. "That is the mating bond."
I resisted the urge to reach out and touch him. Everything was unique about him. From the hair to his delicate bone structure. I was what he desired.
"No. You are what I need," he corrected me. "I will never want someone else. I desire for you to always be happy. To always be safe. To want me as bad as I want you." That last part sounded the best. I had never wanted someone before. It was always me they wanted. Forced, blackmailed, and cursed; it had all been done to me.
Vicky had call James her mate. They had never found a body. Could she had changed him and made him like her. Now somethings made more sense. I was willing to bet that was what had happened to him.
"I am laying high odds on it, Cowboy. I don't think he's dead in the normal sense." I was laying odds on it myself.
"If I chose life as a vampire, what will happen to me?" Ed mulled it over for a few seconds and tried to answer.
"There is this immense pain where every cell in your body is changed on a molecular level. You become pure carbon. A diamond. You will even glitter in the sun like a gemstone. You will always be cold to the touch, but hot and cold don't matter. The temperature won't bother you. You can't touch an open flame. The venom that flows through a vampire's body makes us flammable."
"I want you to change me," I told him. I saw something shining in his eyes. "If that is what I chose." Edward gave me a nod of understanding. He didn't like that last comment, but I didn't care. I didn't have a lot of control in this situation, but I was determined to keep what I could.
"Whatever you decide I will do. I may not want to, but I will."
"Thank you." I was quiet for a little while. "Please take me home now. I have things to do. I need to go take care of them." Edward nodded in return. I knew he understood.