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Song for this chapter – Battlefield by Pat Bentar

Thanks for dannibags for suggesting this story for correcting my errors, and for being awesome. Piesmom for making sure that everything is good before it's début.

Bella tells Charlie about being pregnant.Let's see how Bella handles going to school, having a baby, and how her life turns out before the end of this story.

Chapter 14

Battlefield

BPOV

Telling Charlie about what Dr. Banner said was the hardest thing to do. I didn't know if he was going to tell me to get an abortion or if he was going to kick me out. I showed up on his doorstep, with nowhere else to go, and now I'm pregnant. Sue was a blessing; she knew just how to handle both Charlie and myself.

After breaking the news to Charlie, Sue asked me to step out and sit at the front desk, while she talked to him. I don't know what she said to him or why he didn't start hollering at me, but whatever she did, I was thankful for. Sue called me back into Charlie's office.

"Charlie has something he wants to say," she whispered, as I walked by her back into the office.

"Bella …" Charlie rubbed his forehead. You could see the frustration rolling off his brow "… I don't know how to begin."

"I'm so sorry," I whispered, lowering my head so I wouldn't have to look into his eyes.

"How far along are you?" Charlie asked.

"Four months. I'm due around my birthday."

"Do you plan on keeping this child? Will the father be involved? Please don't answer that last question," he sighed, worrying his forehead with his hands.

"I would like to keep the child … as for the father … he doesn't know."

"Do you plan on telling him?" Sue asked, giving my father a look that I didn't understand.

"I don't know … I really don't see the point in telling him. It's not like he cares," I sobbed just thinking about Edward and the fact that he was still married. Now that I was pregnant with his child, I didn't see how this could be a good situation for either of us. Hell, I figured I would just vanish to the forest of Forks, never to be heard from again. That was the only thing that could be the best for everyone involved.

"I don't know if I agree with you on not sharing this information with the man that did this to you. However, if you were to bring him to Forks or even allow me his information, I don't know if I could control myself from killing him at the moment."

"Charlie," Sue sighed.

"It's the truth, Sue. If I knew who did this to my baby girl, I would have his balls in a vice. Lord, help Renee if one of her sorry ass boyfriends did this to you. Sorry, Bella, but I can't help feeling like that," Charlie stated.

I cried even harder because if Charlie knew the truth and knew that I had been on the road with a band, and not only had I been on the road, but had slept with a married man, I was sure he would definitely hit the roof.

"What are you going to do about school?" Charlie asked.

"I don't have much longer to go. I honestly hadn't thought about that," I replied. I quickly calculated in my head and figured that at best I only had about three to four months left of school. If there was some way I could hide the fact that I was pregnant, no one would even know, and the less talk there would be for Charlie.

"How about this …" Sue interjected "… she doesn't have much longer to go. And with as little as Bella is, maybe she can wear big sweats or something that will hide that she is pregnant. Once she graduates, we will figure out what will be best. We still have time to figure things out."

Charlie and I agreed that we would figure out what to do then, but Charlie advised me against telling anyone about being pregnant. He didn't want the community to talk about me like they had and still did my mother.

~AASS~

Being pregnant had it's ups and downs. There were moments when things were good … great even, but there were times when I was miserable. After my initial visit with Dr. Banner, Sue suggested that all my doctor's visits should be done in Port Angeles, far away from the gossiping community of Forks. I didn't mind making the trip with her for my visits; it got me out of the small community I had grown to hate during my time with Charlie.

The kids at school weren't always very nice to me and it got to the point that Sue had Charlie pull me from Forks High and sent me to La Push. Sue still had a little bit of pull in the tribe and got the members of the tribe that ran the school to accept my transfer. The school on the reservation was a little better than the nosy gossips of Forks High. I still managed to conceal my pregnancy and not talk to anyone there.

I graduated from La Push High in June of 1982, with no one ever knowing the condition I was in. Sue and Leah helped me to buy clothes that were two sizes too big. The only trouble I ever had was a couple of girls from Forks High found it funny to call me a fat ass every time they saw me. They would act like they were something special, but I never let their words bother me.

Charlie, Sue, and I had sat down during the months after learning about my condition and devised a plan of getting me out of Forks before having my baby. Any plans I ever had of going to college were put on hold until I could get settled in with having a child. To tell you the truth, it really wasn't that important for me to go. My main concern was finding a way to take care of myself and the baby I was going to be bring into the world.

Charlie talked about retiring from the police force and moving us to Florida before it was time, but Sue didn't want to be far away from her family. So, Charlie gave up that idea. Leah and I successfully talked Charlie and Sue into allowing us to move to Seattle. It was a hard sell at first, but when Charlie learned I would be far enough out of town, but not too far away from him to visit, he slowly agreed.

When Charlie offered to pay me the same amount of money he had been paying in child support to Renee, I tried to turn him down at first. The only problem with that plan was that moving to Seattle would cost money and not having a job, being pregnant, and no significant other to help, I had to do something. So, I reluctantly agreed.

Two days after my graduation, Charlie, Leah, Sue and I headed to Seattle where we found us a nice little apartment. Both parents helped Leah and I set up our apartment, provided us with a car, and even helped me to get everything I needed for when the baby arrived. Leah quickly found a job at a restaurant a block from our apartment within a couple of days.

During the days, while Leah worked, I headed out and signed up for every form of public assistance I could get. I went to churches and different places where they provided me with information and ways to help me provide. I didn't like having to do these things to get by, but I didn't except Charlie to cover everything either.

During the months before the baby was due, Sue trained a new girl to take her spot. I begged her not to do it, she needed her job, but she assured me that it was time for her to help the community in a different way. She planned to stay with us from August to the end of October, to help me settle into motherhood; she never wanted me to be home by myself. The sad thing about it, she cared more about me than my own mother did.

By the time September rolled around, I was huge. I put on at least forty pounds that I didn't know how in the hell I was ever going to work off again. Apparently, sitting around the apartment the last couple of months really packed the pounds on my body. By the time my due date came and went, I was ready to scream. I wanted this kid out of me. It was bad enough waiting the nine months it took to get to that point, but when I was two days passed my due date, I was ready for anything.

Sue was getting impatient too and Charlie called every day checking to make sure I hadn't gone into labor yet. Both Leah and Sue had me doing all kinds of crazy things to bring my labor on. I walked around the mall for hours, but nothing. Climbed the stairs at our apartment, still nothing; I ate pineapples and spicy foods, nothing. They even went as far as making me take a warm relaxing bath and then proceeded to rub every pressure point on my body. All that resulted in for me was the best nap of my pregnancy. One of the old wives tale remedies to induce labor was to drink Castor oil, which totally backfired on them. All it caused was massive diarrhea and a sore asshole; to say the leas, I wasn't a happy pregnant woman after they slipped a little into my drink. Like I needed more things sore or raw before I went into labor. The last straw in the old wives tales was personal and one I didn't want to answer or do.

"When's the last time you had sex?" Sue asked at dinner, ten days passed my due date.

I blushed twenty shades of red. There was no way I would be able to tell Sue.

"Come on Bella, I know you had sex … you're pregnant," Sue said, smiling broadly at me.

"Nine months ago," I whispered.

"Wow!" Leah exclaimed. I shot her a dirty look. She knew everything about Edward and my time on the road. When she would talk about me hooking up with guys from her work, I quickly shot her down. I wasn't interested in anybody; my heart still hadn't completely healed yet.

I wasn't paying any attention to Sue or what she was doing.

"Here," she said getting my attention. In front of me was a nicely wrapped present.

"Use this," she said smiling and left the table.

Leah leaned closer to me, "If I was you … I would open that in the privacy of your room." Leah left the table laughing and I couldn't imagine what was inside.

I finished my dinner, picking up my plates and the package. I washed my dishes and retired to my room for the evening, curious to see what she could have gotten for me that I didn't already have.

Sitting on the side of my bed, I slowly unwrapped the present, gasping as the contents inside was revealed to me. Immediately, I dropped the box to the floor. I sat for a good hour staring at the offending object on my floor. How could she think I needed something like that?

Staring at the unwanted present, I hoped it would magically disappear. I couldn't seem to stop looking at it. Giving up on hoping the floor would swallow it whole, I reached into the floor picking up the offending package.

I held the box in my hand for a few minutes, pulling the rest of the wrapping off it. I gently tore the paper. I also took my time with presents because I didn't get them that often. Noticing some writing on the inside of the wrapping paper, I smoothed it out and exposed the words written inside.

I couldn't say this to you without us both being uncomfortable. So here goes nothing… sex and nipple stimulation often times makes women go into labor. If you were a pregnant woman in the tribe, one of the leaders would speak to your husband if you were overdue. Or, one of the women in the tribe would pull you aside when nothing else worked.

Please DO NOT let your father find this or let him know I gave this to you. He would have a fit, but it's either this or a random stranger. And, a random stranger is out of the question because you are not a random stranger kind of girl.

Let your instincts take over and it will work.

Love,

Sue

I toyed with the box and its contents for another hour or so. I mean, what would really be the difference between what Edward had and what was now sitting in the box in front of me. Pulling the edges back from the box, I pulled the long plastic form from it's box. Looking it over, I notice little details about it that looked similar to the one Edward had attached to his body. I wouldn't call it an exact replica, but it was close enough.

"Here goes nothing," I whispered to myself as I pulled my panties from my legs. I laid back on the bed and closed my eyes. I had never done anything like this before with something like this. I was a teenage and knew how to pleasure myself with my finger, but using something like this was going to be unusual to me.

Slowly, I slid the head of the silicone appendage between my legs. Closing my eyes, I imagined it was Edward and his body was rubbing against mine. He had done that once when we were together, and now just thinking of him doing it turned me on.

I gently eased the toy into my opening, winching a little as I pushed it into my body. Edward was my first, and even if we had only had sex a handful of times, I'm sure things down there had changed in the last months.

Once the substitute was positioned within my core, I smoothly pushed it in and out of my body. It wasn't long before the visions of Edward's hands and lips on my body sent me over the edge.

I laid in a mess; wetness surrounded me, but I couldn't move. Placing my hands on my chest, I tried to calm down my racing heart. It was in an instant that guilt washed over me, and I wished I hadn't messed with that present. I quickly removed the offending package, and wattled into the bathroom. I cleaned myself up and headed back to bed, crawling into the covers and pulling the long body pillow between my legs and belly. I needed something to support my belly during the night and Sue suggested a body pillow; it was a Godsend.

~AASS~

I woke up at three in the morning, hurting in my lower back. Actually, it felt like someone was ripping me a part. I cried out as another pain shot through my body. I started to climb out of bed when I noticed the wetness between my legs and on my covers. I knew it wasn't from my adventures in self exploration earlier in the night. But I couldn't focus on the bed as a pain shot through my lower back, causing me to double over in pain.

Sue and Leah both came crashing through my door.

"What's wrong, Bella?" Leah asked, looking scared to death.

"Is it time?" Sue questioned, at the same time looking over at the bed. She smiled and hurried around the room grabbing my things and instructing Leah on what to do. I stood amongst the chaos as both women swirled around me in a hurry. Sue would throw clothes in my direction, telling me to put them on, but there was no way I was going to be able to sit down in my condition.

Once everything was together, Sue and Leah led me out to the car. I never changed my clothes because of the contractions. I was barely getting any relief before another one would come along and have me wanting to squat to my knees, like the cotton worker in the South. If only I could drop my baby right here in my room, things would be a lot better. I actually begged Sue to let me do something to try and relieve the pressure building in my crotch, but she adamantly refused.

Gibson Patrick Swan finally graced us with his presence after I laid in labor for twelve hours. He weighed seven pounds and five ounces and was twenty inches long. He was perfect! I couldn't help the emotions that consumed me.

Charlie was a proud grandpa too. He couldn't resist the charms of Gibson, holding him instantly once he walked through the doors of my room.

~AASS~

1985

After Gibson's birth, I picked up everything I could that had Edward's face plastered on the front of it. I had every button they ever made with his face on them. They were attached to my blue jean jacket that I couldn't fit any longer, hanging at the back of my closet. I bought every Tiger Beat magazine that I saw with his face. I knew that one day I would have to tell Gibson who his father was and I wanted everything I could get my hands on.

I had bought his first album the day I found out I was pregnant with Gib. The music was rather loud, and something I could never see the Edward Cullen I knew doing. But, things were changing and more groups seemed to be pulling away from the root-y feel. Now, it seemed like everything was headed toward Glam Rock or Heavy Metal. It took a lot of getting used to over the years.

I confided in Leah along time ago, not to long after we moved into our apartment telling her about my time on the road with Midnight Riders, and how Edward Cullen was the man who stole my heart. She didn't believe me at first, but when I pulled out the pictures of the two of us together, she finally believed. She helped me in my quest to have everything that had something to do with him. If she saw a cassette … she bought it. If she saw a poster … it found it's way home. She was the closest thing I had to a best friend since I left Alice and Rose in New York.

I thought about my time on the road often, and wished things had been different, but if it had been, I couldn't say whether or not I would be blessed with Gibson. He was everything to me.

On Gibson's third birthday, Charlie and Sue came to Seattle where they took him with them. It was a way for them to spend time with him and a way of giving me a much needed break.

Every time his show came into Seattle, something always prevented me from going. I never had the money for one thing with trying to take care of a child, while attending college. It was a very difficult task. Leah, Charlie, and Sue helped all they could, but I had to do better for Gib.

When Leah marched into the apartment in July, screaming that he was coming, I didn't catch on at first, and wondered what in the hell she was talking about. Neither of us had boyfriends at the time, and I couldn't figure what she was yelling about.

"He's coming to Seattle, Bella," she hollered, while hanging her jacket on the hook at the door.

"Who?" I asked.

"You know who," she said, while raising her eyebrows and acting all strange. It wasn't until she looked down at Gib that I understood who she was referring to.

"Oh … Oooohh," I said, running twenty different scenarios in my mind and how I was going to manage my money to get those tickets.

"We'll talk later," Leah mouthed. I nodded in agreement.

It wasn't that I was trying to keep Gib from knowing who is father was. I just didn't know how to explain it to my almost three year old. Gib was smart as a tack too; he picked up information like it wasn't anything. It always baffled me how quickly he would learn. Leah and I worked every night with him. Hell, by the time that boy started Kindergarten, he would already be leaps and bounds ahead of the others.

Once Gib was in bed and sound asleep, Leah and I devised our plan on how to get tickets. She talked about working overtime at the restaurant, and I tried to protest, but she wouldn't have it.

So, here we were … the night of the concert. My nerves were running away with me, as I got ready for the show. It had been years since the last time I was at a concert and years since I had seen Edward up close. But this time I wasn't going to be backstage with the band. I didn't know how to feel about that, but it was just exciting getting the chance to go.

I was excited because this was the first time since having Gibson that I was able to squeeze my ass into a pair of Jordache jeans, size five. After lying down on the bed, I used a fork to pull the zipper up after getting my jeans on I stood and examined my ass in the mirror. Little things about my body had changed after having a child and one of those things was that my hips became a little rounder and softer. I also noticed that because I was breast feeding that even my breasts had increased a size or two and I loved the way I looked in my clothes, now.

"Stop looking at your ass," Leah said, entering my room.

"I can't … everything about my body has changed and I love the way I look for once in my life. I was never stick thin, but these curves," I said sticking my ass out in different poses.

"Make me feel more like a woman and less like a little girl," I said, striking my best pose and sticking my tongue out at her. In true Leah fashion, she flipped me off.

"Are you about ready?" she asked.

"Almost," I replied, picking up my shirt and pulling it over my head. I ran into the bathroom where I pulled my hair out of a towel and dried, fluffed, and teased my natural waves into the biggest hairdo know it man. I pulled out my trusty can of Aqua Net and spray about half a can on my head, so my hair would hold through the night. Leah walked into the bathroom behind me coughing and waved her hand in front of her.

"Good God, Bella … do you have to use it all?" she complained.

"Hey … you shouldn't have walked into the line of fire," I replied, sticking my tongue out at her. Within minutes, Leah and I were on the road.

The coliseum wasn't too far from our apartment, making the trip a short one. However, the parking lot was crowded and it took us about forty minutes just to find a spot.

Once seated, we waited for the show to start and I couldn't wait to see him once again. I didn't tell Leah, but I bet she knew that I secretly hoped he would see me out in the crowd. However, I knew the odds of that happening were slim because Leah and I couldn't afford the seats in the front closer to the stage. No, we had the nosebleed seats way up in the rafters. So, the odds of him seeing me out in the sea of people were slim to practically none. Nevertheless, I hoped that fate would intervene and once again, I would be reunited with the man who stole my heart and soul.

As the lights lowered and the opening acted started to play, I closed my eyes and thought about the many times I had stood backstage watching the boys play. It wasn't long before I was lost in the rifts of the guitars and the beats of the drums as the singer lulled me deeper and deeper into a time when things were less complicated and so much easier. My life had changed drastically from those months on the road, and the freedoms of responsibilities were refreshing. Now, life wasn't so liberating. Gib took up the majority of my time and responsibilities increased tenfold with having him in my life.

The opening act finished after a couple of songs, and the crowd started going crazy as they announced Edward. It was almost like Elvis had walked out on stage. It was mesmerizing and totally awesome; better than any entrance the Midnight Riders had ever done.

I opened my eyes and watched as his crazy bronze hair entered the spotlight. His hair was so much longer and teased to the hilt. I watched as he strapped on his Gibson Les Paul. He loved Gibson guitars … never cared much for the Fenders or any of the others they tried to get him to use. Gibson was his brand of choice and the reason our son carried that name. It was another way for me to somehow have him in my life.

He strummed the first chord of 'Gypsy Woman'; I loved this song. I often listened to the words of the song when I was alone in my room at night. I closed my eyes and drifted back in time again as his voice caused my body to quiver and my heart to break all over again. A single tear slide down my cheek, as I watched him from a distance. I wondered what he was doing now. Has his life changed? Was he still married to Kate? Was he still messing with drugs?

With the last thoughts drifting through my mind, I opened my eyes and really tried to focus hard on his body language. I needed to determine whether or not he looked to be drunk or under the influence of drugs. But, there wasn't anything that called my attention to him being intoxicated. My heart began to race with hope and my mind wondered if there was some way I could get myself backstage. If he was truly clean, I would tell him about Gib, and see how things went. My hands began to steadily shake from those thoughts. I wouldn't allow him in his life at all if nothing had changed, but I wouldn't know if I never spoke to him.

"Come on," I said to Leah, grabbing her by her hand and dragging her through the crowd. I was a woman on a mission to find out if he had read the words about him getting help so long ago.

Once I was on the floor in front of the stage, I pushed and shoved women out of my fucking way. I was secretly hoping that one of the bouncers had been on tour with Midnight Riders. If it was, maybe they would recognize me and allow me backstage without any fusing.

Edward was announcing his last song of the concert, and I still wasn't anywhere near the stage, but I was getting closer by the moment. Leah pushed me aside and started pushing her way through the crowd, getting further than I ever dreamed. Once in front of the stage on the left, I noticed several men standing and talking to girls who then would be let through the gate. I pointed them out to Leah, and she shoved and pushed her way there. When we stood in front of the bouncer, he wasn't someone I had known.

"Backstage Pass," he asked.

"I don't have one, but I would love to meet him," Leah said, pointing towards the stage.

"They all do …" the bouncer sneered looking her up and down "… not tonight ladies."

"Oh, come on," I huffed.

"Look, Mr. Cullen hand picks the women he takes back there. And, so far neither one of you have been selected, so back up before I have you arrested."

"How in the hell can he make a selection in the dark?" Leah quipped.

"That's for me to know. Now, move along ladies, better luck next time." He smiled, folding his arms across his chest. Meanwhile, I died a little more inside. Maybe Edward hadn't changed his ways. I stepped away from the bouncer and Leah as they argued some more.

Watching the man on stage broke my heart in two. Knowing I would never get passed the gates to ever see him again. Edward thanked everyone and exited the stage on the right and far away from me. I slinked back into the shadows of my new existence, and headed home to the things that were more important to me now.

A/N: So, we have seen Bella/Izzy grow into a mother and still yearn for the man she once loved. However, by the end of this chapter, she realizes there will never be another opportunity to come in contact with Edward this way any longer. What had once worked years ago, doesn't work now. Will Bella find another way to reconnect with Edward or will she finally move forward with her life? Stay tuned because this story is about to end. 'One Hit Wonder' will pick up with Bella and Gib in the future. One more chapter and we should be bridging into the sequel.