08.23.11

CRASHING THE PARTY

Getting into ROCK was easier than I expected. I called Tobei the next morning. I got his answering machine and left him a casual 'Hey how's it going just checking in' sort of message. He called back an hour later and we chatted for a bit. I found out his wife was pregnant again and their son just won first prize in an essay writing contest. The thing about Tobei is once he gets going it's hard for him to stop. And he loves his family to an insane degree. My dad isn't as crazy about me as Tobei is about his wife and kids.

Eventually, I got to the reason for my call. "I saw you guys on TV the other day. You're getting good business from the movie industry these days, huh?."

Tobei laughed and I could hear rustling on the other end like he was switching the phone from one ear to the other. "Yeah, we've been swamped with cocktail nights and premieres. We're booked solid for the next three months."

"But they pay well, right?"

"Are you kidding? I finally got that new Mercedes I've had my eye on. Plus, Satoshi is all set to go to college and graduate school."

"Right, and how old is he?"

"Just turned eight last month. Anyway, I'd like to stay and chat but I have some calls to make. We're down three waiters for the premiere next week. I just hope the temp agency sends me some decent workers this time. They're kind of hit and miss."

If there was ever a more perfect lead into the question clawing at my throat, I can't think of it. I'd been planning on giving him a story about needing extra credit for my humanities in the workforce class. I didn't know if he'd buy it, especially since that class doesn't exist, but it was the best I could come up with under pressure. This was even better, though. I didn't even have to lie to make it work!

If you need help, I'm free next weekend," I said.

"You? Aren't you a little young to be working at a club?"

"It's only for one night, and you don't have to pay me anything. We could call it a favor."

"Hmm… well, your dad always says you have great work ethic."

This was it!

"But I can't have an underage teenager serving alcohol to adults."

Or maybe this wasn't it…

"But but," he laughed. Yes, this was his idea of a joke. "If I reassign my dishwasher to the waitstaff, you can do his job and I still get the extra help I need."

Okay, not exactly what I was hoping for, but I'd take it.

So that was step one of my plan complete. I proceeded to step two: come up with a plan.

Before I did anything else, I laid out the facts as I knew them. The movie was an action thriller. I looked it up before writing this post and it was the latest installment in the purportedly popular Deathblade franchise. Either number six or number seven. The websites I found weren't very consistent. If you live in my area, you've probably heard of them. If you don't, think of any action movie you've ever seen and that's what the Deathblade movies are like.

The movie starred some of the hottest new actors in Japan. They aren't important to the story so I didn't bother checking their names. What is important is that as long as the current trends dictate that Deathblade movie premiere are In, Mrs. Fujioka will be there. This was no longer an assumption either. I had found her blog while browsing online. It was bright pink and covered in cartoon kitties and bunnies like she was a twenty-year-old idol singer. In her latest entry, she gushed about the amazing time she had at last night's premiere and how excited she was to attend the next one on Saturday.

'I may also have a few friends join me! :D Will be so much fun,' she wrote.

Fortunately, she didn't have pictures. If I had to see her all over my friends, I would've put a hole through the screen and I couldn't afford a new laptop.

Tobei brought me to ROCK the day before the party for a grand tour. The place had changed a lot since my dad worked there. Everything was western style and a massive DJ booth was set up where the penny fountain used to be. The kitchen was on the other side of the building now. Better insulation, Tobei said. The old kitchen had been converted to a VIP room.

"You'll spend ninety-nine percent of the night in the kitchen, but if you need me or you have to go to the bathroom, you go through here." Tobei rapped on a steel door marked AUTHORIZED PERSONNEL ONLY. "This is where you'll find my office and the employee restrooms. We change the access codes daily so you'll have to come to me when you arrive so I can give it to you."

"Why can't I use the public bathroom?" I pointed at a giant blinking sign which read BATHROOMS HERE. Neon lights shaped like a hand pointed down at two doors adjacent to each other. The men's room was on the left, the woman's on the right.

"Trust me, you don't want to go in there," said Tobei, turning me away from the massive sign. "Let's just say those bathrooms are less for standing in line and more for getting a line."

The next day, I had my head buried in homework morning to evening, so when six o'clock rolled around, I had everything done through the end of the month. I took a shower and trimmed my hair as per Tobei's suggestion. I wasn't meant to be seen by any guests, but I had to look my best for those dishes, I guess.

Everything was working in my favor so far. I had full access to the building (from the kitchen at least), a large crowd of rich people too wrapped up in themselves to notice a girl in a serving uniform, and confirmation that Mrs. Fujioka would indeed be there and my efforts hadn't been in vain. All I had to fear, as most people do, was the random unpleasant twist of fate.

Did I get one? Of course, I did. It wasn't bad, though, more like… okay, I'm getting ahead of myself. You guys don't want me to ruin the ending.

I arrived at ROCK half an hour before the party started. I don't know why Tobei wanted me early when I would have nothing to do until everyone finished eating, but he was the boss. A woman in stylish clothing met me at the door. She smiled like she practiced three hours a day in front of the mirror and led me to the kitchen. There were a few dishes in the sink leftover from an early morning meeting with ROCK's sponsors. It must've gone well because Tobei practically danced out of his office to greet me.

"Haruhi! So glad you're here! Tonight is going to be wonderful! Are you excited? Because I'm so excited I could burst!"

"I'm excited to wash the dishes, yes." I somehow forced that sentence out through constricted lungs as he gave me a bone-crushing hug.

"I'm sorry I can't give you a better job, but to make it up to you, I'm not only going to pay you but at double the usual rate. And you can take home as many party favors as you like free of charge!"

He let go and I inhaled deeply the sweet, sweet oxygen my body craved. "That's great. Thank you, Tobei."

I walked to the kitchen, going over the layout of the building, from the dance floor to the DJ's booth. Then Tobei grabbed my wrist. "Wait a second, Haruhi. There's one more thing I need you to do tonight. I've got a few guests who booked out VIP rooms for dinner and you'll have to get their plates when they're done eating. That won't be for a few hours, though, and I might have someone help you."

"I wouldn't mind doing it alone."

"Yeah, but there are five of them and dinner parties tend to be pretty big… oh! Wanna hear something crazy? One of the rooms was booked by a woman with the same last name as you. Spelled differently, but isn't that a coincidence?"

"It sure is…"

The next three hours were painful. Not in the physical sense, but in the 'mind-numbingly dull' sense. I wash dishes all the time. It's one of my daily chores whether dad is home or not. I continue my work as the family dishwasher to this day, but ever since that night at ROCK, certain types of food stains give me flashbacks.

Anyway, I had gotten through the worst of it when Tobei came to check on me. "Take a thirty-minute break and get something to eat," he said. There was a refreshment table in the employee lounge I had yet to take advantage of. "I'll let you know when it's time to do rounds on the VIP rooms."

I was so happy to get a half an hour out of that kitchen, I almost forgot why I was there in the first place. The party was in full swing and pounding dubstep beats shook the foundation as a hundred people congregated on the dance floor. I would say they were dancing, but it looked more like sex with clothes on. I moved slowly across the room, keeping my eyes out for blonde hair or red hair or glasses.

Inside the lounge was the promised table of treats. From western style hor'dourves to professionally cut sashimi. A plate full of delectably arranged pink fish filets caught my eye, and I'm ashamed to say the mission slipped my mind a second time. Otoro: the one thing I had always wanted but could never afford. Now here it was, literally on a silver platter. I ate more than my fair share that night.

Around ten, the party began to wind down. A few reporters and paparazzi had been allowed inside to take pictures and sate the hungry celebrities' vanity. I only knew this because a bunch of waitresses took their breaks at the same time as me and it was all they talked about. I moved to the couch with my otoro while they gushed over meeting their favorite actors.

One waitress sat next to me, smelling like she enjoyed taste testing the liquor. "You're a handsome fellow, aren't you?" She kept one hand on my knee while shoving a photo of a teenage girl in my face. "This is Tsukini, my daughter. I should introduce you two. She's been looking for a cute boyfriend, you know."

I did not, nor did I want to be rude, but her nails were sharp and my leg was falling asleep. This was what I got for keeping my hair short. I got away from her when an assistant manager came in and let everyone know their break ended five minutes ago.

"Fujioka, you need to go clean up VIP rooms two and six. Thank you." He walked away, leaving the door open. I snuck a final bite of tuna and left.

The even numbered VIP rooms were right next to the employee lounge. I could see straight into room two from the Authorized Personnal door. An older gentlemen entertained several younger women in short, tight dresses and diamonds the size of my fist. They didn't appear to have eaten much, or order anything more substantial than caviar. I took the plates while they pretended I wasn't there.

From room six, I heard a laugh, raspy yet feminine, and ending with a cough. I inched closer. Several dark heads occupied the room, the same color hair as ninety nine percent of Japan. They could've been anyone, but the two redheads poking out from the closest couch could not.

I lost my breath. I willed my feet to move, but they wouldn't budge. My friends were two feet away and I was gawking like one of those waitresses before a famous actor. Tamaki walked by, a tray in his hands. I saw him for a split second, then I heard Mrs. Fujioka thank him and rave about what a perfect gentleman he was.

"Anything for you, my dear," he said. "I live to serve you."

Never had I heard Tamaki sound like that. So monotone, so… artificial.

"How did you enjoy your dinner my good men?"

The next person to speak was not any one of my friends. "The food was delicious, but this tea is a bit strong for my taste. Is there anything herbal on the menu?"

"I believe what Dr. Ootori meant to say was how grateful we are to you for treating us, Fujioka-san."

"Oh, it's nothing at all. Just my way of thanking you for getting that little mishap sorted out."

Here's that twist you were waiting for.

So not only were all my friends in the VIP room with Mrs. Fujioka, Doctors Suoh and Ootori were there as well. And now I had to go get their plates. This required some improvisation. Luckily, I always plan ahead, and I had a secret weapon up my sleeve.

I ran back to the break room to get my bag. Before leaving my apartment, I had raided my dad's closet where he keeps old wigs and outdated accessories. I checked myself in the mirror as I threw the bleach blonde wig over my head. Not the most discreet disguise, but it was the only wig I could find in good condition that came close to fitting my head. I added a pair of fashion glasses and viola! I was the spitting image of the novice crossdresser my dad had once been.

Did I really think this would work? Of course!

Maybe…

I walked back to their room with purpose. Past the dance music and down the soundproof hall, I could hear Mrs. Fujioka's voice. "...so I hope you compensated her well for the trouble."

"We sent young Fujioka-san a check last week and she was satisfied with it," said Dr. Ootori. That was only half true. I had gotten a check but I'd decided it was better as a bookmark.

"Ah good. All's well that ends well as they say." A chair creaked and Mrs. Fujioka's shadow slid across the wall. "Do you like this suit, Ootori-san? I think it makes the Cool Type extra cool. You are his main creator, yes?"

"I designed him and oversaw all facets of his development."

"He looks just like my Mashiro. This wasn't his outfit, but he had one just like it. He was always so fashion forward, my Mashiro."

The wig kept slipping off my head no matter how many times I pulled it straight. I could've stopped to take a breath or go over my game plan, but if I did, I'd have second thoughts or I'd freeze up and run, or I'd expose myself to the doctors and this would all have been for nothing. I steeled myself and tapped my knuckles on the door. Then I bowed.

"Pardon me, Ma'am, I'm here for your trays," I'm not much of an actor, but I've helped my dad rehearse his 'lady voice' enough times to know how to mimic it.

"Of course, dear. Thank you," Mrs. Fujioka said, taking a second of her precious time to acknowledge my existence before going back to slobbering over Kyoya. "Now, I was thinking next time, I'll get you something in leather. Leather is the pinnacle of cool in America! Imitation, of course. I find the fur industry immoral…"

All the plates were stacked on the tray. Since only a third of the party was capable of eating there were only five or six. I gathered the silverware nd retrieved a napkin which had dropped to the floor at Dr. Ootori's feet. He sipped his wine and paid me no mind. Neither did Dr. Suoh. He was on his phone typing a message.

I spotted Tamaki with Hikaru and Kaoru. This was a fancy room even for ROCK. Bathed in blue light, low back couches and glass tables. A full stereo system not currently in use jutted out the far wall. Two buckets of ice for champagne were untouched on the end tables and there was a disco ball hanging from the ceiling, in case the VIPs wanted to do some private dancing. I caught a glimpse of Tamaki, but in his blue suit complete with matching shoes and cufflinks, he blended into the background like a chameleon. His hair was slicked back and his nails had been trimmed. He was in the process of adjusting his collar when we locked eyes.

He stood agape, seeing right through the wig and glasses. They all did. I could see the recognition in their eyes as they bore into mine. They were all dressed like Tamaki, so-called high fashion which made them resemble dancing monkeys more than classy rich men. I didn't know if I should cry tears of joy or worry that they'd blow my cover. Tamaki took a breath and I could see a letter 'H' forming on his lips.

"Sir!" I cried in my fake cutesy voice. "Is there anything I can get you?"

I gave him a look, one I hoped was enough to make him understand and keep quiet. He got about halfway there, catching on to my game but with his own way of contributing.

"Oh yes!" he proclaimed to the heavens. "Thank you for being such a wonderful waitress. I'm so happy you've come to us at last! In fact, I couldn't hope to find the words to express how happy I am."

"Yes, we're glad you're here," said Hikaru, grinning like a fool.

"Very glad," Kaoru agreed.

"We missed you!" Hunny hopped around in his seat, his arms flailing. I had wondered how he'd hold up without Usa-chan. Probably not well. "I mean, we missed you while you were waiting on the other guests. Because you're the most wonderful waitress."

"So good!"

"The best!"

"Better than everyone else combined!"

Kyoya was silent, and for one terrible moment, I feared he didn't know me. Or else he didn't care, because surely he had more space and more pampering with Mrs. Fujioka. She must have given him a state of the art computer and smartphone by now. He'd never liked my cramped apartment, tried to convince me several times to let him use the money he won on the stock market to buy a house. He never understood why I was so sentimental over my little walk up. He was a different breed than the rest. Of the six of them, he was the one I expected to get over me the fastest.

I've never been a romantic, and the truth is, you could tell me straight to my face that you like me, and I'd probably assume you meant it as a friend. But you'd have to be a special kind of oblivious not to see the relief, joy, and honest to goodness love in Kyoya's eyes when he saw me that day. Whether or not it was romantic love, I would never again doubt that he loved me.

They all loved me.

They loved me like humans.

"Takashi isn't Ha- er… isn't our waitress the best waitress ever?" Honey tugged Mori's arm, but though he smiled, his traditional one-word response was absent.

"He's used all his words for the day," said Dr. Ootori, making the hairs on my neck stand up. I couldn't hear anyone tapping on their phone anymore, or Mrs. Fujioka's sweet nothings.

I was afraid to turn my head. I knew they were watching me, but did they know who I was or were they just suspicious? Mrs. Fujioka had removed herself from Kyoya's lap. She tilted her head to one side. "Wait a minute," she said. "Do I know you? Are you that coat check girl from the Sapphire Lounge? Because I've already told your boss, thirteen percent gratuity is more than enough-"

"I'm just a waitress," I said, or rather shrieked. Fear had leaked into my voice and even to my ears, it was painful. "I don't work anywhere else but here. Is there anything I can get you, sir?"

I had stupidly addressed that question to Mori, who couldn't talk until past midnight and who was in an entirely different direction from where I was facing. Not the best move I could've made, but I was in the middle of an internal freakout. Sue me.

"You can pour me a drink," said Dr. Ootori. I couldn't see his eyes through the intimidating shine of his lenses. "Since you're such a good waitress."

"O-of course," I said, grabbing a wine glass and a bottle opener from the bar.

"One other thing," said Dr. Suoh. He wasn't as cold as his partner. He sounded more like a disappointed parent. "You missed a spot."

I checked the floor instinctively. I'd been scouting for garbage and never finished the job, but all the carpets were clear from what I could see. I thought about dropping to my knees, then Dr. Suoh pointed at his head. I copied the action, my heart sinking as I felt my natural brown hair sticking out under the lopsided wig.

"I… um…"

"No need to explain, Fujioka," said Dr. Ootori. He replaced his phone in his pocket. I never saw him take it out and I dreaded what he'd just done. "We know exactly what's going on."

"Well, I don't," Mrs. Fujioka huffed, "and if someone doesn't explain soon, I'm complaining to the management!"

"Mrs. Fujioka, you have no need for alarm," said Dr. Ootori. Just then, two tall, burly bouncers walked in. I'd seen them before when Tobei introduced me to the rest of the staff. Neither of them was what I'd call talkative. They'd nodded when Tobei told them my name and that was it. I never thought they'd have a reason to pay attention to me. I was wrong. "Gentlemen, if you'd please?"

The bouncers advanced on me. I wanted to run, but it was no use. They were blocking my only exit. Tamaki and the twins immediately shielded me. Mrs. Fujioka gasped in shock, providing Kyoya an opportunity to slide off the couch away from her.

"Princely model!" Dr. Suoh snapped. "Stand down!"

"No," said Tamaki coldly. "Never again."

"Princely model, if you don't stand down this instant, I will-"

Mori moved. Taller than both bouncers by a head and infinitely stronger, he had one of them by the collar and in the air with zero effort. The hardest part for him was not keeping the large man at bay or fending off his bewildered partner, it was opening his mouth and croaking: "Run."

Dr. Suoh blanched. Dr. Ootori, the very definition of stoicism, was utterly gobsmacked. I'd never seen a face like that on anyone before and I doubt I ever will again. "That's not possible. He has no more words today!"

"Haruhi, run," Mori repeated, his wavering voice stronger as he hurled his prisoner into the other bouncer's chest. "RUN!"

I did. I ran as fast as my legs would carry me out of the room and into the party. I ran away from the friends I'd risked everything for, not knowing if they'd follow, but trusting in my heart that they would.

posted by Haruhi at 5:47 pm 0 comments