CH7: (UN)WILLING PARTICIPANT
Bella POV
His first rule alone made me understand my new future; I was completely trapped.
"You must understand that you are mine.
My property...to do with as I please.
To remind you of this you will wear a collar."
I am not just his slave but a mere animal. Property.
To top it off...I had to wear a collar?!
I nodded when he asked if I understood his rules.
No talking unless using required responses when allowed to.
Follow his orders without hesitation, without negating them.
How to stand, where to look, what to wear...
Apparently expected to...do...things...with him...for him.
God only knows what his deranged mind had in store for me, but my fear crippled me into submitting to his demands. I will do anything to stay alive long enough to escape, live through the nightmare he provides with a smile on my face if I had to- or try to - until I saw the light out of the tunnel.
Without giving me time to take in what my new life would entail, he walked to me and ordered me to stand, testing my compliance. Remembering his first words when he walked in the room...
"I was afraid that I would have to punish you before we began."
...I was quick to get on my feet; and when he turned, walking out of the room without a second glance at me, ordering me to follow - I didn't hesitate.
I had to hasten my steps up to sometimes three of my own to his one. I kept going over the rules in my head, paying attention to where we were going, so that if he stopped suddenly, I wouldn't upset him by running into him.
He stopped to retrieve something from the hallway closet and continued. Even though he didn't say to, I followed.
We stopped inside the room where I woke up. It felt like the peacefulness I woke up to this morning, when I was so full of hope for a demonstration of the love I have been thirsting for from my husband, was so long ago. Instead I found my life has changed into…this. Who knows what will happen to me if I don't submit to his will. I could only hope that my submissive behavior earned his favor and I got to survive long enough to get out of here.
His heavy sigh brought me out of my pensive state fast enough to watch him turn with a frown on his face.
I resisted the reaction to flinch away, but the movement was completely involuntary, when his hand brushed some of my hair behind my ear. A gesture I found too tender for what we had just discussed.
Even his voice was gentle when he finally spoke, a husky whisper, "Do you remember the rules I said you must follow?"
As if I needed to be reminded that I am no longer my own person, but a bendable marionette to and he the puppetmaster. I felt the trail of warm tracks forming down my checks. I couldn't stop their fall as I nodded, a clue to my understanding, waiting for my orders.
"First lesson is that you should only speak when I prompt you. Otherwise there shouldn't be any words spoken by you. Next is that you should know what to call me. You already know my name is Jacob Black. You may call me either Master, Master Jacob or Master Black. Which one will you feel more comfortable using for now." He said, pausing for my response.
I took in a shaky breath and opened my mouth to respond, but promptly stopped myself.
He didn't express whether he was pleased or not at my restraint to normal response reaction, when he decided to allow me to speak, and so I responded.
"M-master," I said, managing to minimize the verbal stumble, and because I was pushing for my voice to come out it was barely above a whisper.
He accepted my 'choice' of his title and continued, "from now on, when I ask a question - no matter the response," he stressed the last part, "-you must show respect to me by mentioning my name. For example, when I ask if you understand, you are to respond with 'yes...or no, Master' whichever applies," he continued, causing me to fall into confusion.
Did he not tell me moments before that the word 'no' was prohibited for me to say?
Was he testing me?
Apparently my worry was quite visible since he then proceeded to ask, "Are you confused? You may answer."
"Ye-yes...Master." I said with my shaky tone of voice, and I am sure if that my stuttering demonstrating my discomfort was not enough, that my inability to stay put would be.
He allowed me to answer freely warning me about what I said, but he didn't need to. I was already scared shitless of what could happen should I piss him off.
Of all that will happen, period.
I reminded him of his prior rule, praying that in doing so I wouldn't get him upset.
He just chuckled and reached for me, once again I suppressed the urge to flinch as his hand tenderly caressed me as if I was a pet, which consequently happened to be my new nickname. Pet.
His Pet.
Then he told me that I would be told when I was not able to use the negative response, which caused my tension to ease a bit.
"Are you okay now, my Pet? Answer." He verified.
"Yes, Master." My response was automatic, and to my surprise, I did not stutter this time. Maybe that was the point of talking to me- to make me comfortable. I hoped that he would take it slow with me so I could acclimate to this new lifestyle.
I tensed a bit when he came closer and kissed me on top of my head. I was calm but fearful of what he would be planning to do next.
"My Pet..." he said, reaching for my chin and lifting it, turning my face to his. My nerves were getting the best of me, and I was fighting like hell to keep as still as possible.
Shit, shit, shit…
"Do you remember the other rules, Pet?" he said, making my heart beat against my chest remembering his words.
The robe.
"The robe you wear now will be removed and the straps you wear will be your uniform, unless I request otherwise."
The outfit I was wearing underneath was to be my uniform untill he said otherwise.
"You'll be expected to do things with me…for me."
The horror that crossed me after that thought is that he probably wants a willing participant.
"Ye-yes, mast-er." I failed to stop my hands from flying to cover my lips in futile attempt to hold back the whimper that escaped.
He closed his eyes taking a deep breath.
I noticed that though I had responded in positive of my understanding, I was shaking my head "no". I was unable to hold back my fear as a whimper escaped me along with a sob.
Fuck! I pissed him off. Shit, shit, shit…
"Would you rather it be me the one who removes it, Pet?" he asked, allowing me to redeem myself to him, caressing my cheek. My tears wet his knuckles as he did so. It seemed like he didn't want to punish either, giving me so many ways out.
Resigned to what I must endure, I closed my eyes and forced out my response, hoping it would be what he wanted.
Hoping it would keep me from the punishment I was sure would come otherwise.
"Ye-es..Mas-mast-er."
When he sighed heavily, it made me think he was annoyed. My eyes were tightly shut as to not see what he was doing, though it was futile to ignore what I felt. He tugged at my arms, which were wrapped around me as my only protection, taking them to my sides. Knowing that I was not allowed to refuse him, still he reminded me.
"Don't move them, Pet. Understood? Answer," he said softly, but there was no mistake about it being an order.
I began to nod then my nerves spiked upon remembering that which he expects…a vocal answer.
A willing participant.
"Ye-es, M-master," I responded with the returning trembling in my voice.
He praised me and kissed my forehead first, then I felt a tug. The robe loosened, and I fought the urge to close it tightly around me, to cover myself from his prying eyes.
I felt his warm breath as he, again, praised my herculean efforts to keep from disobeying his commands, "Good girl."
I gulped down the nausea I was feeling due to the horrendous amount of distress I was experiencing. I was going to be taken physically against my will, yet I had to allow it to happen to keep my life. Even if I fought, where would I go? My mind worked overtime with possible images of the outcomes of trying an escape. With no knowledge as to where I really am, how far I am from civilization. I would either die painfully, or be punished after being caught for even trying at the very least. Neither extreme was appealing and the fear either aftermath kept me still….compliant.
I felt the frigid air conditioning contrasting with the warmth of my once covered skin, as the robe slowly was moved from my body. I noticed that the slow, torturous move was done so by him holding on to part of the robe so that his fevered hands were also caressing as he did, feeling the raising goose bumps,. Like he was unwrapping me to his eyes, perversely devouring with his eyes what he most likely was to enjoy moments later.
I felt the robe pool at my feet and his hands leave my body.
This is it. You can do this. Keep yourself safe.
"Pet," he said. His was voice a bit further from me. I shook my head in the negative, revealing I didn't want to, but forced my trembling voice to answer to his liking.
"Y-ye-es, M-mas-master?"
"Pet," he said huskily, as he stopped my movements by putting a hand on each of my cheeks softly. He tilted my head up, and I felt his breathy words as he rubbed his nose against mine, "My Pet."
The tender gesture calmed me a little. I felt like his possessive words demanded an answer as well, so I gave him what I hoped was what would please him- a willing participant.
"Master," I whispered back..
"Open your eyes," he whispered encouragingly. But there was no mistaking, it was a command I had to follow.
I did slowly, concentrating on his eyes. I felt the warmth of two more tears falling, begging for him to stop. Praying he understood I had enough for today.
"Good. Good, girl." He whispered his praise to me and gave me another kiss on my forehead, this time keeping his warmed lips on my skin a bit longer.
He was showing me that whatever happened, whenever I would follow his words I would be okay.
A lesson I didn't need to be instructed on, but it was helpful to know all the same.
He stepped back and, remembering his rules, I dropped my eyes to watch his feet and suppressed the urge to cover myself.
He wanted to appreciate his conquest. Hopefully he would be able to see the imperfections that Mike seemed to notice constantly and decide I was not worth the effort, make my death quick or release me to freedom.
As I felt the heat of his gaze upon my skin, making me even more uncomfortable, I felt the urge to beg...plead for either option, but he spoke, freezing my thoughts in place.
"You are beautiful; did you know that? Answer," he asked, shocking me.
"I didn't... I didn't consi-sider mys-self...um..be-beauti-f-ful...Master," I scampered honestly, unable to hold back the hiccups during my response.
"Are you calling me a liar?" he asked, the humor in his voice evident, but I was unable to tell if it was because it would make for an excuse to punish me or another test.
Since I wasn't allowed the negative response, I settled on shaking my head, hoping that he would let me explain my lack of response before considering punishing me for doing so.
"It's okay, my Pet. I was just teasing. Now, thank your Master for the compliment," he said jokingly. I couldn't find humor in the terror that the possibility of angering him brought.
"Tha-thank you, Master," I responded, relieved that I was in the clear for now.
"Turn around, away from me," he ordered. His voice was a bit louder than before, though still gentle enough not to scare me further.
Not long after, I felt his heat on my back, which sent a shiver down my spine. I saw that his hands came into my view holding a long black cloth, which he wrapped around my eyes as a blindfold, leaving me in darkness, and completely dependent on him.
"Give me your hand, my Pet. It's time to introduce you to our playroom." He whispered by my left ear, and I used that as a sign to raise that hand. He caressed it tenderly with his thumb for a bit, then I felt him move.
"Come," he ordered. I did, but my step was uncertain, hesitant.
"I want to help you accept this new life and enjoy it. It will be hard for you at first, but I can't baby you. Pet," he said, most likely his soft tones and words were thought out, trying to reassure me. I resisted the urge to say that if he really wanted me to trust him, then this whole situation began all wrong. It wouldn't be in my best interest to mouth off to someone who I depended on and held a threat to my livelihood, "this small lesson is about trust, so trust me. I won't hurt you or let you fall."
I took a deep breath and nodded, hoping that was enough since he didn't request a voiced response.
We walked quite a bit. It felt like we walked to the other side of the house. I felt the rug disappear from under my feet, replaced by cold smooth floor.
The kitchen.
Then again I stepped on softer rug and back on smooth floor.
The enclosed living room is the only room in the house besides the bedroom that has any rugs.
He stopped for a bit, then I heard a shsh!
I deduced by the sound of it that something was opened that either has pressure behind it or rubbed against something like a door does when its too low on the rug.
He pulled me forward a couple of steps but then stopped me as he warned, "There are stairs here, careful."
Hoping he wouldn't get angry I dragged my right foot through the floor forward until I felt the edge of the first step. I lowered my foot, then brought the other foot to meet the first. Then I proceeded to repeat the same actions with the following steps, noticing that the steps turned in a spiral. We were silent the whole time, hoping that was because he was watching for my well being while in his…possession.
Once at the end of the going down the steps blindfolded ordeal, he decided to speak, "Was that so bad, my Pet? Answer."
It had been terrifying!
I couldn't say as much though, and risk making him angry. Still, I couldn't risk him catching me in a complete lie, since I couldn't seem to convince people of anything false in my entire life.
"Not so bad, M-master. A little scary though," I said then tensed at the fact that he didn't give me permission to speak freely.
"Stay here," he ordered.
Shit! I fucked up!
My mind was whirling with the things he could do to me because I was so new at this whole thing. Also wondering how many others had run the same fate.
How long did they last?
Also, I remembered the other rooms in the house. Wondering if there were others, like me, prisoners to his will.
I began to feel warmer, and I heard a small hum begin.
"Take the blindfold off, Pet," he ordered.
Once I did, I was shocked to find that this infamous playroom he was referring to was a dungeon of sorts. I glanced around looking at the different walls, chains, rings, armoires, chairs and other devices which were meant to hold a person in place, when my eyes landed on him.
Immediately my eyes lowered.
Jacob chuckled at my reaction as he pushed off the wall that he was leaning on and came closer to reached for and grabbed my hand, took it to his lips and kissed the back of it.
"It's okay, Pet," He assured me gently, "I want you to take in the room. I will also allow you to speak freely. For now. Ask questions. Familiarize yourself with it all; we'll spend a lot of our time together in here," he said, then warned, "Mind your words though."
"Yes, master," I answered, the words still new enough to be uncomfortable against my lips but easier now that i had repeated them earlier. the words were shaky as the looks of the room around me gave me the chills.
His words-
"we'll spend a lot of our time together in here"
-were not reassuring at all now, and as for questions…well, asking if he was crazy crossed my mind.
Not asking that though.
It looked like a modernized, medieval torture chamber.
I diverted my eyes to look at the floor instead.
"Your facial expressions show so much. You are afraid, and dare I say, even disgusted?" he said. His voice unsure, yet he know he was right. I was afraid again.
What will happen if I say yes and admit to those feelings?
If I lie, would my fate be worse?
"Y-yes, Master. A little." I opted for the truth. If anything, I can always say that I was being honest, that if he wanted me to lie then he shouldn't have given me freedom to speak, a comment that may cause me a lot more trouble than I could bargain for.
"That's to be expected," he accepted, "You have taken the change of lifestyle much more easily than others."
Others...pets like me.
"However, I do promise that some of the time you spend in here will be much more pleasurable than you expect. After all, pushing the boundaries of pain and pleasure can bring much joy," he said, informing with what he finds to be…reassuring.
I just found it disturbing.
There were others?
Just then, my mind and my voice made an appearance...and boy, it was not pretty.
"Says the guy holding the girl hostage." As soon as the words left my mouth, I covered my mouth with both hands and my eyes opened wide with horror.
Fuck, fuck, FUCK!
I was sure that this time there would be no escape. I was going to get punished for good this time.
"Freedom has its costs," he said, walking around me like a predator does his prey, "I am sure I don't have to explain to you that THAT was a very sassy comment."
I backed away from him, lifting my palms in peaceful resistance, as I begged...trembling...fearing what's surely to come, "Pleas-se! Fo-forgive me, M-Master!"
"I let you speak freely and warned you to watch your words," he explained as he continued to hunt me, "I warned you that when I feel disrespect, you would feel the punishment that fits your crime." His body was suddenly before me, spreading warmth through my stomach muscles yet they stayed tensed. My hands served not the purpose of keeping him at length.
I whimpered at his words. I stayed as still as I could, my back now pressed against the wall. My body didn't obey my shutdown command and quivered with the terror that spread like wildfire through my veins.
I could no longer speak; I was now a mass of trembling flesh.
The fretful lamb cornered by the carnivorous wolf.
His heavy hands grabbed me by my shoulders. I screamed, I fought, but it was futile. He was much stronger than me. With one hand he held my arms behind me, with the other he held me still in front of his body. I never felt any other movements but my own flying lower limbs.
"If you don't stop, it will be worse!" he warned against my ear, his voice breathing moisture and very composed after fighting me the entire time.
I took the hint.
I stopped moving and just hung there in his arms, my hair everywhere, sticking to me through my sweat.
His breathing was not even labored!
He sat my feet down, and waited. Slowly then, he let go of my arms as if testing me, seeing if I would try to run off. When I didn't, he pushed me forward, walking me a couple of steps until I was in front of a curtain.
I gulped silently.
I was sure that whatever was behind this curtain would certainly make the time I have spent here so far look like a spa.
"Close your eyes, Pet," he ordered huskily behind my right ear. I obeyed hoping for his mercy.
I heard the curtains part due to the metal scraping of the rings on the curtain rod. He pushed me further inside, and then stopped me from any other steps.
"I really hate to do this," he said in a sad tone. I felt him fiddle with my restrains and heard some clicks. My tears fell uncontrollably at his admission. I opened my mouth to beg for forgiveness once again, but his fingers were on my lips stopping me from speaking.
"This room is the torture chamber, otherwise known as the pain wing," He explained, "Open your eyes."
When I opened them, I saw the walls lined with whips, chains, canes, and paddles of many sorts before me. There were some with needles, spikes…my eyes searched for his then lowered immediately as I found his stoic stare. My breath was labored; my heart was beating hard against my ribs.
"There is no talking in this room, except for when I permit it. Since you are new I won't make your punishment so harsh. For this time I will use the plain paddle. You will count ten smacks on your ass. If you fail to count, we will start over until you do," he explained my punishment.
He moved from standing in front of me to beside me, revealing a contraption which I was unfamiliar with. It was a slanted padded bench, like those made for lifting weights. Beside both, the high point and the low point were padded…arm rests? At the bottom ones there were two bars that were slanted towards the lower point.
He pushed me forward until my knees were against the edge of the bench. He pushed something, and it seemed like the bench had been on hydraulic lifts, because the machine noise filled the room till the edge of the bench was at level with my hips.
"Put your knees bent on the high padded set on either side as if straddling the bench, lean forward, rest your elbows on the lower padded set. Hold on to the bars to keep from sliding," he instructed.
Once I did, he was not finished, he strapped my wrist and ankles by the shackles I was wearing, other belts held me around my arms and across my back and another on my lower back. He was securing me down, to stop any attempt on my part in trying to escape.
The position left my ass in the air, lifted, ready to receive my punishment. Once in position, he touched my bottom cheeks, making me jolt, whimpering from the sudden intrusion.
"Remember, Pet. Count," he said, as he caressed my butt tenderly.
His hand disappeared then suddenly…
PAT!
Damn, hurt.
"One."
PAT!
"Two."
PAT!
That one was harder.
"Three-ee."
PAT!
"F-four," I whimpered
PAT!
"Fi-ive," I choked on a sob. The pain and humiliation were getting to me.
"Half way through, Pet," he said, caressing my bottom. It stung badly, and he was only half way through.
PAT!
"s-si-ix."
PAT!
"SE-eve-n-n." I yelled at the beginning of it.
PAT!
"ei-eigh-t-t"
PAT!
"nin-ne"
PAT!
"TEN! Ten!" I was sobbing, humiliated, and in pain from the whole ordeal. I could barely breathe in the shallow breaths I was attempting. My body was trembling so badly, that if the bench was not there to hold me up and the handlebars were not there, I would be on the floor. My saliva was running out of my lips and my nose was runny. I was a mess. It felt like when I was living with my drunken mother all those years ago, she would beat me for not having something already cooked for her when she woke up. In her inebriated state, she failed to notice that I had been in school all morning while she slept off her prior nightly escapade, thus unable to cook anything, much less a full meal by the time the bus dropped me off.
That was not a good memory to relive, yet I would give anything to go back to it. At least it was my mother, not a stranger that had kidnapped me.
The curtain slid open once again, and his shadow moved across me. I flinched and clenched my eyes, tensing for further punishment, when I felt his hand caress my head, pushing my hair out of my face.
"I have to remove your bottom piece to put ointment on you without ruining the leather; I have brought you a softer material you can wear meanwhile," he said, wiping my face with a warm wet white cloth, by the soft scented smell of it I noticed that it was a baby wipe.
I just stared at his hand, knowing that I wasn't allowed to look at him. My crying had slowed down to sniffles and involuntary, rapid shaky intakes of breath, but my tears were still present.
When he was done cleaning my face somewhat, he got up from his crouching position in front of my face and stood, walking beside me as he unhooked me from the contraption. His hands on my shoulders helped me get up from the awkward position. I winced at the pain of the leather moving and rubbing on the sore areas where I had received my punishment.
"Slowly, Pet," he advised gently, "It will hurt for some time. I think it will be best if you take a bath before sleep. Some warm water will do well in helping with the discomfort." He quickly changed his mind and lifted me in his arms, turning with me and walking out of the smaller room we were in.
I thought he would put me down, but instead he carried me through "the playroom," up the spiral stairs, through the enclosed livingroom, the open livingroom, the kitchen, down the hallway, the master-bedroom, and into the master-bathroom.
He didn't even bother to blindfold me again, or even tell me to close my eyes, and seemed...much to my annoyance, as if he was upset with what happened.
He stopped and let me stand, making sure I could do so on my own and had something I could hold on to, then walked to the tub and let the water run, testing the temperature before plugging the drain. He walked to the cabinet under the sink, pulled out a small bottle, and poured some of its contents into the small splashing fall of water now filling concave porcelain. Bubbles began to rise out of the mix. The familiar strong yet subtle smell of strawberries reached my senses. Once he was sure the tub was half way full, he sighed then turned to face me. I diverted my eyes once again caught. Not knowing what to think, I was feeling more uncomfortable than ever.
He approached me and lifted my chin, I tried to hold back my flinch, but ultimately couldn't help it. I kept my eyes low, until I couldn't anymore, so I closed my eyes. Two tears escaped my lashes.
I was mostly afraid, but I was also angry.
He had just hit me repeatedly!
WITH a paddle!
The last thing I wanted was to be around him. Yet, knowing I had no choice in the matter, and to avoid further punishment, I repeated his rules in my head like a mantra.
Never again will I knowingly break a rule, and I will keep alert of my thoughts, keeping them where they belonged.
INSIDE my head.
"Look at me, Pet," he said softly.
When I did, I didn't expect to find the sadness and discontent I saw in them.
"Please, keep the rules in mind. Be respectful of me."
"I…I understand…" I said, then after a pause I remembered, and whispered his name, "Master," then lowered my eyes submissively.
He turned, walked to the tub and shut off the running water. The tub was full.
"Come to me, Pet," he commanded.
When I tried to get closer, my shaking, weakened legs gave from beneath me. Before I hit the floor, his arms were around me.
The pain was more like a warm numb feeling right now. I think it was more of the shock of the whole situation that still had me shaking and weakened.
I was keeping that fact to myself though.
"I am so sorry, Pet. I didn't think it would be that bad. Hold yourself up with the counter. I will help you," he said softly. His voice was full of…remorse?
I don't get it!
His hands fluttered, unsure of how to take off my garment. I felt my face heat with embarrassment at the fact that he would be helping me undress, seeing me naked. Something I dreaded would happen, possibly entice him into touching me intimately.
Yet it couldn't be helped, I was at his mercy, and I needed the help to get into the bath he wanted me to take to relax from the beating he himself gave me for being myself.
I sighed, even more defeated.
Allowing this to happen would mean that I understood that he owned me.
Something that I hoped would cause him to show me mercy.
I moved one of my hands to reach for his; he stilled. Out of the corner of my eye, I watched his reaction through the mirror; his eyes were intently watching as I directed his hand slowly with mine to one of the buckles and left it there. I returned my own to holding on to the cool counter that I was using now as support.
After a few seconds, he seemed to wake up from the stupor he was in, and began to unbuckle the leather belt. Once done, he lingered, watching like he didn't know where to go next. He reached for my hand once again as he got closer to my back.
"Guide me," he ordered, and then shocked me by adding, "…please."
My eyes shot up at the mirror to catch his, stunned, then immediately lowered them. Remembering the rules, I gave no response since none was requested from me.
He must have let the disrespectful move pass – me glancing up at his eyes - since he was getting something he wants in exchange.
A willing participant.
Slowly, I removed my hand from its place on the counter and placed it over his. He let me guide him to another buckle, which he also loosened. Again he waited, and I repeated leading his hand to the next…and the next after that. As I did, I felt the surrendering warmth escape my eyes, the salty defeat tracking down my cheeks.
By the second buckle undone, I knew that he knew where to go next. He was just enjoying the simple act of my submission, furthering my humiliation by making me continue to show him which buckles to undo to undress me.
The last three buckles that held the outfit on me were: the one between my breasts, and the two at either side of my hip. He waited for me to let him know which would go first. Knowing that it would hurt to let the outfit linger and rub against me till the top buckle was off; I guided him to the top one.
I breathed and exhaled, closing my eyes as I released his hand.
He got as close to me as he could without touching me. His breath tickled my neck, it was labored and intense. My mind, trying to find something to focus on, began to wonder why since no matter what the exertion he had gone through before now he had shown no proof of the effort.
oh...he's...he's...
I felt heat covering my cheeks unexpectedly upon realizing this. I didn't know why!
This whole situation was throwing me so far off my orbit!
He unbuckled it slowly. Once he did, I thought I would feel his hands there but I didn't. His hands outlined my torso slowly until he reached the ones on the right and left of my hips. And even more slowly, he unbuckled them. Since I was leaning forward the part covering my front pelvis fell and was now swinging between my legs, but the leather on my rear hung to me loosely glued by the sweat of my skin.
I felt him move back a little, and then the pull of the leather as it was peeled from my bottom and heard the buckles as the leather hit when dropped to the floor.
My eyes shut tighter.
I was now naked.
Jacob was watching me naked.
Something no one beside Mike had done, ever.
He had yet to touch me, and I already felt violated.
What could be worse than that?
The feeling of my arousal seeping down my inner thighs brought me further into the reality of my situation.
I felt ashamed to have my body respond to such barbaric treatment this way.
I hung my head while I heard him inhale deeply.
Oh god!
What if he can smell it?
Or see it?
I turned my head lower, mortified, trying to hide my shame, begging for a way out of this whole mess.
He pulled me back quickly while his other arm pulled my feet off the floor, my arms reached automatically for a hold of his neck to keep from falling.
The shock of the sudden movement made me open my eyes grow wide, staring at him and gasp. He was carrying me bridal style. His face was unemotional, though his eyes….his eyes told a different story.
His eyes were not on me though, as he lowered me into the warm water, and he was right. The relief was almost immediate, but I knew it was temporary. The bubbles covered my body well, enabling a sense of modesty.
However, my recent discovery would not be cleared so quickly.
"Relax, my Pet. I will return with the items I had taken to you downstairs and a soft towel," he said and left quickly. As I sat there, I heard his mumbling baritone voice, it must have been over the phone since I didn't hear a response.
He returned quickly with a piece of flowy fabric hanging from his arm, two huge towels folded under it, and a tub of some sort of cream in his hand. He laid it all on the counter and turned to the shower. He came back from the shower with many bottles; my sponge, body soap, shampoo and conditioner.
He came up to the side of the tub and kneeled beside me, putting all the items in his arms beside him on the floor. He dipped the sponge in the water and poured some of the body soap on to it. Watching my reaction, he sighed.
"Can you sit yet, Pet?" he asked, hesitantly. My eyes darted everywhere, not answering to him. Not that I could anyways, since he didn't ask me to speak. I tried to but winced when a little of the pain flared with the pressure and the muscle working to help me up. I tried again but at the added whimper he jumped forward and helped me lay back down.
"Shh. Just rest back then. I will just work with what I got, okay?" he said quickly.
My breath picked up with understanding. If I was unable to perform the task then he would. His hand made a dash for the soap and the loofa.
Since I couldn't speak without permission I couldn't say anything, but…he didn't say I couldn't communicate in other ways…and he didn't say anything about not covering myself up for now.
My arms wrapped around my chest and I crossed my legs protectively, wincing at the soreness of my bottom, and shook my head.
He sighed.
"I think I am going to regret this," he muttered to himself as he closed his eyes momentarily, then he opened them and said, "Speak."
"I can do it, Master. Please, allow me the dignity to at least wash myself. I beg you," I said quickly.
He sighed again, reaching for my face, caressing my jaw, moving me so he could see my eyes.
"I have a question for you, Pet," he said as he lifted my arm and washed it with a firm but gentle rub. Then, he did the same with the other arm and both of my legs. My breathing picked up as he got closer to my sex.
He glanced at me just when my heart picked up speed along with my breathing, hopefully he doesn't mistake my reaction for being aroused. Although, after not being touched my Mike for so long, I couldn't help but feel the familiar tightness in my lower belly, which didn't help the cause. It actually made me feel dirty. My face felt aflame with the fact that my attacker could arouse the slightest of reactions resembling arousal made me feel disgusted with myself.
He sighed heavily as he lowered my other leg into the water.
"You understood when I told you that you belong to me now, right?" He asked, his eyes intently searching for mine. I kept mine low, though I noticed his search from my peripheral view. I didn't respond. He didn't request that I do so. No way was I setting myself up for another round of paddle handling.
He seemed to realize this, cleared his throat and allowed me to respond, "You may answer."
"Yes, Master." I responded.
"Then why are you so apprehensive when I get close to you? You may speak freely, Pet." He asked.
I took a moment, I was allowed to speak freely before and my words got me into more trouble than I wished for. Even if he didn't give me a warning this time, I wasn't going to push my luck.
"I don't think you will like my answer, Master. I wish to avoid any further encounters with you in the torture chamber," I answered honestly, my voice low and nervous pending his response.
When he didn't say anything for a while, I decided to say something that would help for him not to push for an answer on the matter, "Of course, none of it matters now. I just need to get used to belonging to you. It's a new lifestyle that I am not used to. I just need time to adjust to the sudden change of dynamics, Master."
After saying my peace, hoping it was the correct response I waited my fate.
After a few moments, he voiced another of his concerns, "Are you telling me how to train you?"
Although his voice showed no sign of anger, I took a moment and thought of my response.
"I cannot tell you to do something since you are my Master; all I can do is ask. Because of this, I will not ask for material things, I have never been much for glamour, but what I would ask for is for your mercy and your patience when I do slip and commit a mistake. Though I feel better about my situation when you are gentle rather than when you are not, I am and will be scared anyways because I am still getting accustomed to committing so completely to someone else's will…to your will, Master," I replied, hoping that my honesty wins over the misunderstanding of insubordinance.
"You think me unfair for my choice in your punishment then?" He asked, sounding intrigued
Hell yeah!
That shit hurt!
…and by the way, I am a fucking adult!
You said you didn't want to punish me.
You said that you hated to do so.
Go with your gut instinct next time!
Was I going to risk telling him?
Hell no!
Did you forget that little time in the "torture chamber" there?
Because I sure as hell can't!
"What I think does not matter. I belong to you to do as you please, Master." I repeated his rule back to him, knowing it will give him the opportunity he wants to finish my 'bath'.
"No more hesitance then?" he asked. I knew why he asked, and even though I wanted nothing to do with him, I knew I had no choice in this. What he wanted was my understanding of my situation, my compliance.
A willing participant.
"The hesitance will be there, but I will do as you say. My thoughts on what you say and direct me to do are irrelevant, and to negate you the permission which I am not in power to deny will be futile, Master." There, I told him I didn't want to do what he asked, not any of it, but I was left with no choice because I was his prisoner.
I may be participating in his perversities, but I sure as hell wasn't willing.
"Good, then lets finish your bath," he said, dipping the hand with the sponge in the water slowly till it reached my stomach, which is when I noticed the bubbles were almost gone.