Disclaimer: Twilight and all recognizable plots and characters belong to Stephenie Meyer, no copyright infringement or plagiarism intended.

Chapter 4

BPOV

I felt like I had been burning for weeks, although, in reality, I knew that it couldn't have been more than a few days. I wasn't sure how long it had been exactly, but I would be eternally grateful that Jasper hadn't left my side since it all began. I was still a little confused why he was here, especially by himself, but I'd already decided that the comfort he brought was more important than my confusion; and besides, he had told me that he would explain everything to me when I was feeling more receptive. One thing about suffering through this agony, your mind latched on to anything it could to distract itself from the pain and I'd had a lot of time to think and reflect about everything that had happened recently.

While I'd been lying on that forest floor, I'd been crushed and heartbroken that Edward had left me, wondering how I would go on knowing about the things that go bump in the night, and also knowing that I'd had a chance at happiness with the seemingly perfectly loving family. That had all changed, however, the more I thought about it and had the time to come to some startling realizations, and now I was pissed off but I was quickly moving towards acceptance and even relief. The more I thought about everything, the more I realized just how fucked up everything had been in my life, particularly in my relationships with Edward and Alice. Carlisle and Esme always acted like loving parents, Esme was a little smothering at times, but all she ever did was love her children and try to support them, ignoring the fact that she agreed to abandon me, but I digress. Emmett treated me like the clumsy little sister that I was and Rosalie never went out of her way to hide her disdain for me, it was nice to know where I stood with them and they never pretended that anything was other than it was.

Edward and Alice, however, were a completely different matter. Alice acted like my wardrobe was a personal affront to her senses, always dressing me up and dragging me shopping, turning me into her own life sized Barbie doll; and it didn't matter how much I protested or how much I dreaded each experience. She claimed to be my best friend and my sister, and yet she constantly disregarded my feelings and did everything she could to shape me into who she thought I should be and to look how she thought I should look as opposed to who I really was and how I wanted to dress myself.

None of that even began to compare to the fuckery that was my relationship with Edward though; he controlled every aspect of my life and made all of my decisions for me, and I never even realized it was happening. He acted superior and worldly just because he was 108 years old and had the ability to read everyone's mind, but he had never had any responsibility in his life. He treated me like a child who was incapable of making her own decisions or even knowing her own feelings simply because he had existed on this planet longer than I had; but he was the one who was eternally stuck at 17. I never had the luxury of acting my own age or being a child because I had to be responsible for my mother for as long as I could remember. Once I was old enough, she had signed the consent form and I'd been working since I was about 14; Edward had never worked a day in his life and he never had to worry about where his next meal was coming from. He never had to look into his mother's checking account and write the checks to make sure that the electricity and water stayed on because she forgot to pay the bills again.

The first time that happened, I was 10 years old and I quickly got used to making sure that everything got paid, because let me tell you, it was no picnic having the air conditioning turned off in Phoenix in July. Fuck, even after I moved to Forks, Renee called me to ask where her favorite blouse was because she couldn't find it. I didn't even live in the damn state anymore, let alone her house, and she was still asking me where her clothes were. Living with Charlie was easier because at least I didn't have to worry about paying bills anymore, but I still was the one in charge of buying all of the groceries, cooking all of the meals, doing all of the dishes and cleaning the house. I was fucking Cinderella in my own home and that was something that Edward never had to worry about, and he had the gall to tell me that I was the child.

Of course, maybe that was what attracted me to him in the first place; I didn't have to be responsible for anyone, even myself anymore because he would take care of everything for me. I was starting to realize, though, that wasn't even remotely resembling a healthy relationship, that shit got old fast. A good relationship should have give and take, both sides taking care of each other equally and respecting one another's opinions and making decisions together. None of that was ever there in my relationship with Doucheward, so with the new direction my life was taking, I was turning over a new leaf; no one was ever going to walk all over me again.

I snickered to myself about the use of Jasper's nickname for Edward, it was highly fitting, and I think that may need to become my new name for him. Ah, Jasper, now there's a confusing and highly ironic subject on about a million different levels. On the night of my birthday, he very nearly killed me after Doucheward shoved me into a table full of glass plates, and yet, he was the one watching over me now. He was the Cullen that I'd had the least interaction with over the past year, mostly because Doucheward insisted, but I felt that I now knew him better than all of the other Cullen's combined just after the last however long it was listening to him tell me stories from his youth.

I was realizing that he was completely different than I'd always assumed he was; when he was with Alice he always seemed so quiet, uptight and restrained, yet now, he was laughing about his childhood and was incredibly sarcastic, much like I was when I first moved from Phoenix, before I let a certain vampire overtake my personality. This was a Jasper that I could definitely get on board with and I couldn't wait until I opened my eyes and got to see Jasper clearly for the first time.

"Well hey darlin', this should be about over," I heard Jasper say in that adorable Southern drawl. "I don't know how you've managed to avoid screamin' throughout this whole ordeal, but I swear to you, if you did it to spare me pain or guilt, we're going to be having a conversation about that because it's just ridiculous. No more of this self-sacrificing martyr bullshit, ya hear? The pain is about to get worse soon, it's going to concentrate right over your heart and it'll hurt like a bitch and I've never heard anyone not scream for that, so there's no point in hidin' it around here, we've all been through it. Anyhow, you've been burnin' for almost 3 days now, so I reckon it shouldn't be too much longer before you open them gorgeous eyes of yours. We're at Peter and Charlotte's in Wyoming and they are chompin' at the bit to properly meet you; I think you'll like them, they don't take shit from anybody, they tell it like it is and they don't beat around the bush. And don't worry, although Char could definitely use some female companionship after all these years with no one but her crazy fucker of a husband, she won't be dressin' ya like a Barbie doll anytime soon," he finished with a laugh.

I started to feel amusement over his analysis of his, I guess former, wife, but then that burn he was talking about started to really kick in. I tried to hold in my screams just because I didn't see the point in screaming; it wouldn't change anything, it wouldn't make me burn any less and it would give everyone around me a migraine, but then I just couldn't hold it in anymore. It felt like my heart was going to beat right out of my chest, like it had grown a fucking propeller and was just going to lift right out of my body at any moment, I screamed for all I was worth and held on to the knowledge that after this, the agony would finally be over. I wasn't sure how long this went on, but just when I thought I couldn't take anymore and was ready to beg Jasper to kill me, I felt my heart make one last shuddering beat, and then suddenly there was silence. There was no longer the sound of my heart beating or of my labored breathing, I could hear Jasper breathing quietly beside me, I could hear someone shuffling around downstairs and I swear, I could hear the dust in the air.

I opened my eyes and was struck by how clear everything was, it was like I'd been looking through foggy glasses my entire life and I was only now properly seeing the world. I turned my head to look at Jasper and the first thing I noticed was how ruggedly handsome and sexy he suddenly seemed to me, this was not the same Jasper that I had grown to know over the past year. That Jasper looked like he'd stepped off of GQ or some fancy runway show, this Jasper looked like a sexier version of the Marlboro man, complete with the cowboy hat and boots. I noticed his scars and momentarily wondered at their origin, but they did not detract from his appeal; on the contrary, they only added to that aura about him that simply screamed "this is no boy, this specimen is all man!"

He was looking at me with this smirk on his face and that's when it hit me, he was an empath and could feel every emotion I was feeling. Shit, he had to know that I had just been lusting over his body, I thought I would die of mortification. And just when I thought it couldn't worse, he had to open his mouth and prove me wrong.

"Well darlin', you see something you like then?"