08.30.11
REQUIEM
I don't know how to start this one. It's probably the most important update I'll ever make.
It's also the last one, aside from a short epilogue I'll post tomorrow or the next day. Whenever I have the time.
First, I want to say thank you to everyone who stuck with me all this time. I feel like it's been ages since I started, even though according to my post history, it's only been a month and a half. I've gotten some wonderful comments and great support, though I'm pretty sure most of you think this is all just some metafiction novel. I can never prove it was real, and I know my word alone isn't enough. That's okay. Whether you believe me or not, I appreciate every single one of you. If you've followed or commented or just silently awaited each new post, thank you.
Okay. I had to get that out before we move forward. I'm done now. No more stalling.
Let's get this over with.
It was a cold Tuesday morning. School was canceled due to staff meetings and I'd just finished my lunch when Tamaki dragged himself into the kitchen, his right side limp and twitching. The left was almost as bad, but he got himself into a chair on his own, and then it was a simple matter of me taking the head plate off and switching out the batteries. I was mostly at the point where it didn't make me nauseous anymore, and I was kind of proud of myself.
"You guys sure go through these fast," I remarked.
"Mmm-hmm," Tamaki said, flexing his fingers, makings sure they were all in working order. "I'm sorry for bothering you."
"Don't apologize," I said. "It's my responsibility. You guys are stuck with me now, remember?"
Tamaki stared out the window. I couldn't tell if he was genuinely perturbed or trying to affect a stoic, wistful look. My phone was on the table, and I wondered if I should take a picture. He would've looked perfect on a magazine cover. He had nothing more to say, so I tossed out the dead battery and dropped my dish in the sink for later.
As usual for a bad weather day, we found ourselves crammed in the tiny living room, finding new inventive ways to do our own thing. Hikaru, Kaoru, and Hunny all had different shows they wanted to watch. Their solution was to put on Hikaru's action movie for one minute, then switch to Kaoru's baseball game, then to Hunny's cooking show. Repeat ad nauseam. How they managed to follow the action this way, I will never know.
Mori was perusing one of my textbooks. They'd been coming to school again, though they rarely sat down to do any homework. It was a math book, so I guess Mori just really loved numbers. Kyoya was on his phone and my laptop at the same time. He spoke in a language I didn't understand. It sounded like Spanish, or maybe Italian. I had no idea who he was talking to, but judging from the smile on his face, the conversation was proceeding in his favor.
Tamaki followed me silently, still curling his fingers. At the time, I didn't think much of it. Just another Tamaki quirk. He sat next to Kyoya, who nodded at him once, then went back to arguing over the phone in… I think he'd switched to Russian now?
I sat with the twins and Hunny. We were back to the game and, from what I could infer based on my limited knowledge of sports, one team was currently beating the other. There was a man on the home base and he hit the ball into (I think) the outfield. Half the crowd started shrieking and then Hunny grabbed the remote and a baker was trying to stop a twelve layer chocolate cake from toppling over.
"That'll ruin the rosettes," Hunny said solemnly. He was never more serious than when discussing failed confectionaries.
Eventually, the action movie ended with a happily ever after for the hero and his girl. The baseball game was won by the team Kaoru didn't like (he was pouting about it for hours), and the youngest chef won the baking contest with a cake shaped like an oak tree. With nothing left to watch, I switched the TV off and brought everyone to attention.
"Guys, we really need to talk about this," I said. "My dad is coming home in less than a week and while I'm sure he likes you guys, I don't think he's going to want you living here. Kyoya, have you figured anything out yet?"
He still had his phone, but I didn't hear anything on the other end. I think he hung up. He and Tamaki shared a look I couldn't decipher. At the time, I assumed they both forgot. "I've looked into a few options."
"That's kind of vague," I said. "I can talk to my landlady if you want. There's a vacant apartment downstairs and I don't think she'd mind renting to high school students."
"What about money?" Hikaru asked.
"Kyoya has it," I said.
"You sound very sure of yourself," Kyoya said.
"Am I wrong?"
He stopped typing, considered my words for a second, then started again. "We will have our housing situation taken care of in due time. You needn't worry, Haruhi."
"You say that, but you won't even tell me what your plan is," I said.
"Because you don't need to worry about it."
I could sense this would become a cyclical argument, and normally, that wouldn't have stopped me. I was feeling pretty relaxed that day, my overall mood significantly up in the last few weeks, so I let it go. I told myself I'd bring it up again tomorrow or the next day. There would still be a little time left to figure things out. Worst case scenario, my dad would come home to find a surprise welcome home/slumber party waiting for him.
We turned the TV back on and channel surfed for a bit, not finding anything especially interesting. I noticed Hikaru and Kaoru cast a few furtive glances at each other, and I figured they were just doing their typical twin mind reading thing until Kaoru nodded at Hunny, who flashed him a thumbs up. Then I heard Tamaki whisper something in Kyoya's ear. When I turned to look, he jumped to the other side of the couch and whistled, not making eye contact with me. None of them did until Hikaru found an anime with decent animation and obnoxious sound effects to leave on.
"Hey, Haruhi," he said, "did you take out the trash today?"
I was trying to drown out the repetitive punching and grunting noises and almost missed that. "What?"
"It's important, Haruhi," he said, folding his arms. "If you don't take it out the whole apartment will smell."
"Ew, stinky," said Hunny, holding his nose.
I'd been explaining that to them for weeks. Nice to know they'd finally caught on.
"I took it out this morning," I said.
Hikaru frowned. He glanced at Tamaki, who waved him on.
"Uh… what about the mail? You should go get it."
"It came an hour ago. You saw me bring it in."
"Did you do the laundry? It must be piling up."
"Laundry day was yesterday."
"Did you-"
"You know what? I think I'll go for a walk." I grabbed my coat. "You guys don't mind entertaining yourselves for ten minutes, do you?"
"We'd rather entertain ourselves for fifteen to twenty minutes," said Kyoya. The rest all grinned and nodded.
"Fifteen to twenty. Got it."
I could hear them running around from the street. Whatever surprise they had planned, I just hoped it would be easy to clean up. To pass the time, I visited one of my neighbors, an older lady with a mean old tabby cat who nevertheless would love you forever if you gave him a few treats. He purred in my lap as I listened to my neighbor's stories of her family and her youth spent in the children's ward of a country hospital. I ended up staying for thirty minutes because I didn't have the heart to interrupt her.
"Bye Mrs. Motoki," I said as I climbed back up the stairs to my apartment. "Thanks for the tea."
"Of course, dear," she called after me. "Tell your friends I said hello. They're such lovely boys."
"Will do."
All was quiet inside as I stuck my key into the lock. I should really say 'most' was quiet, as I caught the distinct hiss of multiple voices shushing each other. Rolling my eyes, I turned the key, releasing the latch and granting myself entry into a pitch black room.
The lights flicked on.
"SURPRISE!"
I shut my eyes against a tidal wave of pink confetti and rose petals, slamming into my face as if shot out of a cannon. Balloons covered the ceiling, every color of the rainbow represented, though there was again an emphasis on pink. A life-sized photo of me that I think came from the carnival had been taped to the wall. A banner hanging over it read 'HAPPY BIRTHDAY HARUHI' in flowery font I needed a full minute to decipher. That Tamaki, Hunny, Hikaru, and Kaoru all decided to hug me at the same time did not help.
"Surprise!" Tamaki shouted. I suppose it bore repeating. "Are you surprised? You look so surprised, just like I knew you would. This is the best surprise party ever and it hasn't even started yet!"
"Happy birthday, Haru-chan!" Hunny cried, climbing onto my shoulders. I somehow kept my balance and carried him to the couch.
"Thank you," I said, letting him slide off my back, "but guys… it's not my birthday."
"Sure it is," said Hikaru.
"It says so right here." Kaoru pointed at the banner.
"They do make a convincing argument," Kyoya smirked.
"Don't you like your birthday party, Haru-chan?" Hunny hit me with big, tear-filled eyes just as Tamaki put on his most powerful puppy dog face.
All the strength in my body left me, and when Hikaru dropped a chocolate fudge cupcake in my hand, I took it without question.
"I guess it's my birthday," I said.
Cheers and another bone crushing hug. This time, Mori joined in, lifting all of us off the ground with ease.
"Hooray!" Hunny cheered. "Now it's time for the piñata."
They did indeed have a large paper mache doll hanging from the ceiling. It bore a striking resemblance to Benibara, and I definitely preferred it to her own giant head. Only Mori and I got a shot at it before Hunny decimated the head with a single hit. Out flew dozens of roses, which Tamaki gathered into a bouquet and presented to me. Kyoya found a vase while Hikaru and Kaoru berated Hunny for depriving them of their turns.
If you think the rest of the party was like something out of a six-year-old's wet dream, you'd be right. Kaoru beat everyone at kendama, Tamaki proved to be far less adept at the guitar than the piano, and they even sang happy birthday to me. I held another cupcake with a single candle and blew it out on the final note of the song. This time, I didn't make a wish.
"Present time!" Hunny cheered, jumping all the way to the ceiling. "It's present time!"
Tamaki gasped. "You're right. It is present time!"
"You guys didn't have to get me a gift," I said, but they were long gone, digging through my dad's closet as if possessed by demons. "Please don't break anything!"
I heard something crash and Tamaki squeak, then silence. I sighed. 'Oh well. Dad barely cleans his closet anyway.'
They returned moments later with an enormous, flat, rectangular package wrapped in brown paper. It took both twins and Mori to carry it into the living room, and the scuff marks on the walls are still there to this day. How they ever got something that big into through the front door, into my dad's closet, and then out again all without me knowing… well, it's hardly their greatest magic trick.
"Happy Birthday, Haruhi!" I will reiterate now that it wasn't my birthday, but at the time, I sort of didn't care.
"Thanks, guys. I can't wait to see it."
They stepped aside as I felt along the top for a piece of tape. I'm the kind that likes to be neat when opening presents. I always fold up wrapping paper and save it for later. You never know when you're going to run out of notebook space right before a big exam. I stepped back to appraise my gift, smiling all the while.
It was a bulletin board, one of the nicer ones decorated with bows and ribbons. A layer of soft plush surrounded the cork board. My name was stitched in the top left corner, just above a snapshot of Hunny and I on the merry go round.
I have no idea who took it, but the board was covered in candid shots of me, the guys, and everything we'd done together. There was a photo in front of the school of Hikaru and Kaoru excitedly dragging me through the gates. There was Tamaki winning Kuma-chan at the carnival. There was Kyoya on the beach under an umbrella. There were even a few still shots from the stunt show. None of me in the elevator box thankfully.
The biggest was a group shot. All seven of us crowded together in a photo booth, faces pressed into the lens so we'd all fit. We looked like a mass of body parts fused together. It came from a day I didn't end up writing about. I thought of including it as another interlude after the dodgeball incident, but I decided it would mess with the flow of the story. That and it was even less eventful than the beach trip.
One day we went shopping and the mall had a photo booth. We took pictures. That's it.
But I think it was a great picture. I couldn't breathe when we were taking it because Mori had his knee on my chest, but it was fun playing with the filters and watching Tamaki blow a gasket when Hikaru put a handlebar mustache on his face. We settled on a center stage filter. A cartoonish stage with red curtains and a spotlight bordered our squished, grinning faces. Even Kyoya, his cheek smashed into the wall by Tamaki's elbow, had the barest hint of a smile.
It was the perfect centerpiece and I rolled my eyes to cover how emotional it made me. "How long were you guys working on this?"
"Days!" Tamaki said proudly. "Maybe even weeks. We had to gather all the perfect tokens of our more cherished memories to make this work."
"Now you can always remember us and how much fun we've had," said Kaoru. He hugged me from behind and I didn't stop him.
"Guys, if I live to be a hundred, I couldn't forget a single thing about any of you." They were all behind me, my back to them. I was grateful; a tear had slipped through the crack and shined like a diamond all the way down my cheek. "But thank you. I love it."
I let them choose where to hang it in my room. I should've known it would lead to an argument. Tamaki and Hikaru debated furiously on whether it should go on my closet door or next to the window. They let Kyoya pick in the end, and I waited in the living room as he directed Mori to hang it perfectly level above my mom's shrine. I think she would've liked that. I know she would've gotten a kick out of these guys.
We ended the night, as we had many nights before, in front of the TV. I don't remember what we were watching. My stomach was full of cupcakes and I was wrapped like a sushi roll in a wool blanket with Tamaki's arms around me. My eyes drooped. I couldn't remember the last time I was this tired this early. There was so much we needed to do tomorrow. I wasn't going to let Kyoya keep ducking me on the housing thing and we had to organize a cleaning schedule so this place was spotless before my dad came home.
I listed all our important tasks in my head, and then I let it go. Mori had Hunny in his lap. Hikaru and Kaoru leaned their heads together. Kyoya reclined in the loveseat and closed his eyes. Tamaki took me by the hand. They fit perfectly together.
"Love you," he whispered as the screen turned to static.
"Love you, too," I said.
I snuggled closer to him, letting the white noise carry me off. I still wonder if it was real or if I was just imagining it in my half asleep state… but with my ear against his chest, I could've sworn I heard a heartbeat.
I awoke on the floor and didn't know where I was for a second. The sun ticked my cheeks and forced my eyes open. I wasn't used to it coming in from that direction. Rolling over, I realized I'd fallen off Tamaki in the middle of the night. He and the others were still asleep, which didn't strike me as anything to worry about. They'd slept before, albeit not at the same time.
Getting up slowly, I tip-toed to my room and changed into fresh day clothes. I took my wallet and creeped out the door, leaving all the lights off. I was pretty sure something I did would reach their sensitive ears and they'd all be bustling about cleaning by the time I got back.
I had a special errand to run that day. I took the train across town to the department store and bought the nicest picture frame I could afford. It was medium sized and dark blue, not very fancy at all, but I figured the guys would like it. Then I went to the copy center and printed a few photos off my phone. The quality was a lot better than I expected. I took it as a good omen and got on the first train home. Along the way, I went through five different photos of us from various points in our adventures. Any one of them would fit perfectly in that frame. Just had to take to vote when I got home to find out which. It had been almost two hours since I left.
It was quiet inside when I arrived. My brow furrowed. They should definitely have been up by now. Unless they were planning a part two to yesterday's surprise. I opened the door slowly. It was dark inside. Bracing myself for a windfall of roses, I stepped inside and… nothing.
They were on the floor exactly where I left them.
Switching on the lights, I dropped my bags on the kitchen table. "I'm home. Hope I didn't worry anyone." I stepped over Tamaki to grab the remote and turn the TV off. "You guys are really tuckered out, huh?"
I chuckled as my hand brushed Tamaki's shoulder. I didn't think I hit him that hard, not hard enough to move him. He swayed a bit, his head falling forward on his chest, and then he fell on his side. Limp.
Lifeless.
I stared. My body was frozen as my eyes moved across the other five. Tamaki had made a pretty hard thud when he hit the ground, My next door neighbor even smacked his side of the wall, yelling about stupid kids interrupting his nap.
I wasn't worried. I couldn't be. Not with a perfectly logical explanation keeping me afloat.
"Batteries," I mumbled, going for the spare box under the sink.
I changed all of them individually, moving from Tamaki to Kyoya to Hikaru and so on. I closed the cap over Mori's head, holding it between my palms, directing his face towards mine.
"Wake up!" I ordered. He was heavy and I couldn't hold him for long. He fell in a heap just like Tamaki had. Those peaceful expressions were no longer peaceful. They were too waxen, too doll-like. Too… wrong.
"This-this isn't funny," I said, going from one to the next and shaking them. "Wake up! Come on!"
I didn't know what to do. I managed to get the phone in my hand and dial the number Dr. Suoh gave me for his personal line. Somehow, I made no mistakes and got him on the first ring. I don't remember our conversation, but I must've gotten everything out semi-coherently because he was there in the next thirty minutes. Dr. Ootori and two assistants accompanied him.
They wanted me to stay in my room while they performed troubleshooting, but I refused to be moved. I glared off Dr. Ootori, who I don't think was eager to deal with me again anyway. He stayed on his side of the living room, and I stayed on mine. Nothing had been cleaned and there were pink balloons and dying rose petals everywhere. The contrast of happiness and joy with those tech specialists in grey uniforms working to revive my friends made my stomach turn.
As time passed with no progress, Dr. Suoh's face when from determined to grim.
"What's going on?" I demanded after a full half hour with no answers. "What's wrong with them?"
Dr. Suoh didn't look at me. "You say you changed their batteries, reset them, everything?"
"Everything you told me to do, yes. I did it all."
Dr. Ootori sighed like I was a bratty child throwing a tantrum. I could've taken a cutting board and cracked it over his head the way I was feeling. Instead, I focused my emotions on Dr. Suoh. On my friends.
He shook his head. "I'm sorry, Haruhi, there's nothing we can do."
"What are you talking about?"
"I'm saying they're gone, Haruhi. Their systems are fried. Probably from all the extra exertion they've put themselves through. It was more than their internal processors could handle and they-"
"Don't say that. Stop acting like they're just machines!"
Dr. Ootori, perhaps feeling brave, scoffed. "They are just machi-"
"SHUT UP!"
I shoved the two assistants aside, summoning strength I can only assume was born of fear. I knelt over Tamaki, crushing my lips to his, kissing him with all I had in me. "Wake up. Wake up, Tamaki. Please!"
"Haruhi." Dr. Suoh's hand on my arm. "Stop."
I pushed him off. "I can do it. It worked before!"
"Not this time. Kiss activation is only for startup. It won't do anything now."
"But it has to! It has to work. They can't be gone!"
"Haruhi." Dr. Suoh hugged me, gentle like a father. "I'm so sorry."
It felt… final. Like I was the one who'd been given a death sentence. The two assistants had lined my friends up in a row. Their arms were at their sides. Their legs straight. Their eyes closed. Tamaki's lips shined from my kiss. Tears I left behind on his face made it look like he was crying.
I hung my head, hearing Dr. Suoh whisper comforting words that offered me nothing. I stared at a streamer stuck to my shoe, tracing the length from one end to the next. Deflated balloons littered the floor. The cheery Happy Birthday banner sagged as the tape peeled off. I struggled to inhale and rasped out their names over and over again, getting louder and softer and louder again.
No one answered.
posted by Haruhi at 9:08 pm 0 comments