Double-post. So here's the 6th oneshot. Thanks again to everyone for your support! You guys are great!
6. Tease
Some people take it better than others.
Take Chekov, for example. He's not even twenty yet. So he tends to either grin, blush, or duck his head, depending on how much joking around is going on.
Uhura also takes it pretty well; she usually just laughs it off, as Jim saw the night he met her.
Bones grumbles and moans, but it's all an act, as Jim knows. In fact, the surgeon will often tease right back with his quick tongue. It's part of the reason why he and Jim banter back and forth so easily, especially when trading insults.
Sulu tends to take things more literally than the other humans in his senior staff do, so Jim makes sure to hold back slightly when joking around with the serious Asian.
Scotty he doesn't often get a chance to tease, but when he does, it's more than likely about the Enterprise and the latest crazy upgrades his Chief Engineer has made to her.
Spock... well... let's just say that it usually takes him far too long to get the joke and/or understand that it is a joke, so by the time he does, it's too late to be funny. Though that doesn't stop Jim from laughing anyway.
Dr. Marcus also is apart from the norm, but Jim suspects that it's because, for whatever reason, he almost always consciously refrains from joking around with her. Theirs is a very formal relationship; he always feels more self-conscious when she's around, and heck, he's still calling her by her title and not by name.
Janice has a much less constrained relationship with him, and for that he's grateful. It's probably a result of spending so much time with her - they'll often work together for hours at a time, and he sees her day in, day out - understandably, seeing as she's his personal Yeoman. They have a system, almost, of doing things.
She'll come in at 7:30 in the morning with his daily schedule, he'll tease her about the lack of breakfast-in-bed service, she'll retaliate by marveling at the fact that he's actually awake, and so on.
He remembers when Dr. Marcus and Janice met. Boy, was the air sizzling in unprecedented tension then! He later heard rumors that Uhura teased the two of them about their mutual hatred for weeks afterward.
Why do they hate each other so much, anyway? Is it because they're both blonde or something? Nah, neither of them are that petty. So what could it be? Hmm...
He'll have to think on it later.
As for himself, he usually takes lighthearted jokes pretty well, except when he's having one of those days. A massive headache, having to completely update all of the ship's computers, fixing the entire set of kitchen replicators, doing dreaded paperwork during precious free time, and having to restart a letter three times make for a bad combination. He should know.
But when those lighthearted jokes are about his biological family, well... though it's one messed up way of coping, he almost always simply shuts himself down to the world before going to the slimiest, sketchiest bar he can find.
But that second part of his routine is not an option during a five-year mission. Particularly because their last shore leave ended only a week ago.
So basically, he's limited to shutting himself down so that he doesn't snap and lash out at any of his crew.
When he walks onto the Bridge without his usual swagger and smirk, his senior staff automatically know something is up. And he knows that they know because they begin exchanging glances with each other. Oh geez, it's going to be a long Alpha shift.
Three hours in (halfway there, Jim, you can do this), he sees Bones walk out of the turbolift.
I'm screwed, is the only intelligible thought running through his mind at that point in time.
His best friend's assessing gaze surveys the eerily quiet Bridge, sweeping his solemn senior staff before coming to rest on him. The surgeon's eyes narrow and Jim's heart sinks. He's not getting out of this one.
"Mr. Spock, you have the conn," he says in the same quiet monotone he's used for the past three hours before getting up, locking gazes with his best friend, and entering the turbolift with him.
The doors shut and Jim presses the button to stop the lift before Bones can press the one for Sickbay.
"I'd really prefer not to do this now, Bones," he says softly. "Can you at least tell me why you came up to the Bridge?"
Bones scrutinizes him for several intense moments, then sighs and runs a hand through his hair. "Dang it, Jim. Fine. But I was still coming up for you."
Jim frowns. "You weren't at breakfast, so how on earth could you know -"
"I didn't, Jim. At least not until I actually got up there. I came up because when Dr. Marcus and I were organizing all the patients' files, she pointed out to me that you haven't had your mandatory psych eval for years. In fact, you missed your appointment just a week ago."
"Something came up every time," Jim says tightly, cursing Bones for bringing this up now of all times.
Bones rolls his eyes. "Oh yes, Jim, something like a sudden infectious illness, or a bar fight of epic proportions, or some other 'disastrous shore leave' excuse! And that still doesn't explain why you never rescheduled them!"
Jim shrugs, slipping back into his infuriating rebellious bastard mode that he hasn't used in years. "I forgot," he replies, faintly smirking.
"Dang it, Jim, that doesn't work anymore, especially not now that you have Rand to help you with all your appointments and other bureaucratic crap! When the Admiralty find out about this, you'll be booted off the Enterprise, you'll be marooned on another Delta Vega faster than you can blink! Do you want that?"
Jim narrows his eyes, noticing that Bones said 'when' and not 'if.'
"You wouldn't dare," he hisses. "You have no right to -"
"As CMO, I do and I will, Jim," Bones cuts him off harshly. Then his expression softens. "Jim, they'll find out sooner or later anyway. Better to do it here and now, where I'll be the one questioning you, rather than on one of these starbases with some random quack who won't understand a thing about you."
It's Jim's turn to scrutinize his friend. He sees the set of his shoulders and the way his feet are planted on the ground, and then he knows. It's either do it today and keep his Captaincy, or do it never and lose everything.
Jim's shoulders slump. "All right, all right, we'll go down there now," he concedes, slapping the button to get the turbolift going. "But it's just going to be the two of us."
Bones nods. "Standard procedure, Jim."
"No cameras. No audio, no video, no nothing. Just you and me."
At that, Bones raises an eyebrow, uncannily like Spock would. Jim hides a bittersweet smile. "Jim, we need evidence. They can't just take my word for it, especially considering how close we are despite our duties."
Jim nods, remembering how Bones snuck him on the Enterprise all those years ago. "Someone tampered with the security tapes, then."
"Someone?" Jim nods again, to which Bones replies in exasperation, "Jim, they'll know it's you and they won't accept my written word. Then both of our careers will be endangered."
"Oh, but it won't be me tampering with the security tapes," he says, the familiar plotting glint in his eye. "An outsider, a third party, will handle the gritty work. Meanwhile, we're in Sickbay discussing the upcoming psych eval where plenty of your staff - as well as the current patients - can provide testimony supporting our alibis of being nowhere near Security when the tampering occurs. So I finally get that psych eval over with, you and only you know what's going on behind the mask, and the Admiralty are satisfied. Boom! End of story."
"Uh, Jim?" Bones said, sounding worried as he looked around the turbolift.
"Oh, is it taking longer than usual?" Jim wonders absently. "Must be because of those automatically disabled security cameras. I'll bet Security's going haywire right now." Sure enough, as he pulls out his comm he finds no less than twelve missed messages from Head of Security Commander Giotto.
Bones gapes at him. "Dang it, Jim, I knew you were an absolutely frickin' genius, but this..." he waves a hand around and trails off as the doors finally open.
"Right! Let's get this over with, Bones," Jim says, the bounce back in his stride, but the surgeon knows better.
Even if no one else can see it, he recognizes the fear in Jim's steel blue eyes and knows that it's taking almost all of his friend's control to keep walking confidently forward, especially after what must have happened earlier that morning.
As they enter Sickbay, Jim flashes him a pointed glance and he clears his throat. "Right," he says loudly, "took you long enough to get down here! Geez, Jim, I swear one of these days I'm just going to hypo you up there and drag you all the way down here myself!"
Jim plays along, rolling his eyes. "Geez Bones, I'm here now, and that's what matters, doesn't it? Now can we get this over with?" he asks, glancing around Sickbay as his foot taps impatiently on the floor.
The surgeon has to wonder how much of that last bit was an act, and how much was Jim finally letting loose some of the emotions he constantly kept bottled up.
Bones shakes his head. "Not if you keep disrupting my Sickbay," he says sternly, a faint threatening overtone entering his voice. As Jim opens his mouth to retaliate, the doctor sighs and jerks his head toward his office. "C'mon, big guy. In there. Let the other patients have some peace and quiet."
This feels so much like their regular banter, back-and-forth teasing, that it almost hurts.
Jim quietly comms the third party while Bones looks away, pretending to busy himself with a large stack of papers that he'll use in Jim's psychological evaluation.
When he's finished explaining the plan to the willing accomplice, he takes a deep breath and sits down in the designated patient's chair that Bones made sure was comfortable years ago.
"All right," he says in resignation. "Let's just get this crap over with."
Ooh man! The first cliffie!
So this one turned out to have a lot more description than I originally planned, which is why I'm making it a twoshot. Sorry folks, but don't worry, you'll have the second part very soon, especially as it happens to be a birthday present for one of my closest friends as well!
Please let me know what you think about this one, and thanks again for your continued support!