Apologies First.
I know it's been like ridiculously long but I've been swamped with all kinds of overtime.
On the other hand I promise it wont be another month before the next update.
Hopefully this is an adequate 'I'm sorry'
Also I'm quite proud of how dead on I've been with my details so far, none of them have been plain wrong or shot out the water which has me absolutely giddy!
Chapter Forty-one
Seven weeks later
July 9th
"Hook, line, and..." Nate spoke with what should have been accomplishment as he ran a finger around the rim of his whiskey glass. "No... no Parker.. don't let Slone corner you into a morning meeting. Tell him between time zones and transfers you wont be able to deal until two." He settled as his words were confirmed seconds later breathing out, "and sinker."
"We've had plenty of obstacles to build cons around before but never a doctor's appointment Nate." Sophie spoke from the other side of the table as he pulled the com from his ear.
"Don't start." He'd need a refill if she was going to start up on this again.
"Don't you think it'd be best if we head back to Boston?" She kept as quiet as possible since there was nothing more than a wall between Eliot's room and them.
"His doctor's here." The only reason he even had to deal with this right now was because Eliot threatened to make himself disappear for good if they didn't all get out of his face and back to work.
"Surely in all of Boston there has to be at least one suitable physician." It disappointed her to see him toss a nearly full glass back, it seemed like the amount he consumed only grew as the days passed.
"We've tried other doctors, they didn't know what they were saying." Five to be exact but they'd decided to go back to Torlyn and that's where they'd be tomorrow morning.
"They didn't know what they were saying or you didn't want to hear it?" She knew how he felt about it but she was hoping to finally get him to open his eyes and see what they were facing.
"No I don't want to hear it when they're saying it's either in his head or he's crazy!" Torlyn seemed to be the only one who cared enough to look for an actual reason and as long as he was still trying they'd stay.
"What about the CFS?" Nate always chose to blatantly ignore that one.
"It isn't CFS." That was another reason they were sticking with Torlyn, he didn't believe that line of bull either.
"Why wont you accept that diagnosis?" He stood in anger and she followed in frustration.
"He doesn't have chronic fatigue syndrome!" If he had to hear how he should accept that one more time he just might lose his mind and kill her.
"How can you be so sure of yourself?" Right now it was hard to say if Nate's denial was helping or hurting Eliot.
"BECAUSE THERE'S NO DAMN CURE!" She ignored the clattering of the stool he kicked as it fell. "No one knows Eliot's symptoms like I do. They don't know him and they don't know what they're talking about! I've done so much research on CFS that I could more than diagnose it myself and I'm telling you he doesn't have it. It doesn't fit."
"Just because you don't want it to fit doesn't mean it doesn't."
"Do you know what he's facing if it's CFS?" She was so quick to push it but he doubted she even understood it. "A lot more days in that damn bed. They'll push pills that will sometimes leave him feeling worse than the symptoms. He'll be praying that his tomorrows aren't worse than his todays had been. He's a hitter Soph, how do you think he's going to feel when his muscles go out on him?"
She was silent but her eyes held a hue of pity and it angered him. "It's not CFS! Even if I have to try every piece twice I'll figure it out because that's not going to be his future! I wont accept it." He had already lost one person he loved because he hadn't tried hard enough and he'd be damned if he let that happen again.
"Nate someti-"
"Stuff it Sophie!" This wasn't one of their clients' sob stories this was Eliot and there was no way he was going to stay there and listen to her explain how life was sometimes unfair. That's exactly why they made the rules themselves and he didn't care if his words offended her as he left for Eliot's room.
"Hey" The smile he wore as he entered the room was false but he made sure it was there none the less.
The last couple of days had been hard for Eliot and he didn't want to add to them.
Depression and fatigue had fallen over him like a blanket and though he had pretty much healed from the car accident his knee was still persistent in troubling him, having even caused him to fall a few times.
"Go away" That response was nothing new to him and most nights similar ones had him sleeping on the couch.
"I was thinking about ordering out tonight and I was wondering if you'd want anything in particular?" He didn't give a crap about food but it seemed to be the only thing Eliot would talk to him about anymore.
"I don't care." Eliot sighed as he squinted against the light coming in from the hall, it wasn't likely he'd keep it down anyway.
"Did you get any sleep while I was gone?" He closed the door before sitting on the edge of the bed.
Eliot was always tired but barely managed to get any sleep and when he did there'd be nightmares waiting to wake him up leaving him more exhausted than before.
"Why do you do that? Why do you ask when you already know?" He would swear his head was literally going to kill him and if that was the case then he only hoped God would speed things up.
"So I'm assuming you didn't take your meds then?" He didn't need to look over to the table to know the pills he had layed out that morning were still there.
"Just go away!" He was constantly being hounded by one if not all four of them and it was nearly worse than being betrayed by his own body.
"Eliot don't do that." For weeks now he had been trying to put distance between them, he'd say anything he could think of to hurt him, and Nate could sadly say it was starting to take its toll.
"Why can't you understand that I don't want you here? I don't need you!" He'd swear the words hurt him more than Nate but he needed to say them.
The great Eliot Spencer could barely make it to the bathroom anymore these days and Nate deserved better than that. He didn't know what was going on with himself but he knew that he didn't want Nate sitting in pain and disappointment at another bedside. "I don't like you so why do you stay here!"
"Because..." It tore at his heart to hear something like that but he made sure he didn't allow the emotion to show. "I love you."
"I'm sure you do." The sarcasm he forced himself to say that with hurt nearly as much as it did to roll over.
For what seemed like the millionth time he promised himself he wouldn't take Eliot's insult personally as he curled up behind him in the bed.
He knew it wouldn't be long before Eliot was shoving him away but still he'd try for a closeness they hadn't had in almost two months. "I'm sure I do too."
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"What's up with Sara?" Aaron asked Pete as he watched her slamming things about in the kitchen.
"Just whatever you do don't mention Eliot." Usually Pete would hang around for a while when he showed but this time he was quick to leave after his warning had been issued.
"Hey" Aaron announced his presence as he set Brian's, a little late, birthday present on the table.
"Don't you hey me!" It was obvious she was angry.
"What did I do?"A cabinet slammed at the question and he knew this was gonna be good.
"What did you do!
You missed Brian's party... that's what you did!"
"I already warned you that I had a double shift and we wouldn't be making it!" Excuse him for having a home two hours away and a job that called for overtime. "I'm sure with all of his friends there he didn't even miss me."
"Oh really? Because I distinctly remember having to near force him to interact with those guests because he believed one of my brothers likes his job more than his nephew and the other... well he didn't even have a damn excuse!" It had been her sons birthday, the one day in his life that should be guaranteed happy, and all she saw in those big bright eyes was disappointment.
"That isn't right or fair to either of us Sarah." He stopped her from chopping celery, the way she was going she'd likely chop off a finger.
"Not fair!
You two are his Uncles and you let him down!"
"Was I not just with ya'll for the 4th?" The let down couldn't have been that big seeing as Brian's birthday was mere days after it.
"And Eliot?
Brian waited for him to call.
Every year he calls them, every holiday that phone rings, and now just because we aren't seeing eye to eye he doesn't.
That's a new low even for him."
"Sarah he-"
"No Aaron!" Whatever excuse he was about to make for Eliot would be a waste of air. "Brian waited for hours! He had a table full of presents and he ignored every one because in his opinion Eliot's call would have been better than them all combined! That little boy went to sleep with the phone waiting on a call from Uncle Eliot and it broke his heart to find out one never came."
"I promised him I wouldn't tell you this but.." With a deep breath Aaron prepared himself to break that confidence. "Eliot's sick."
"Last time I checked he broke his foot not his mouth." And she knew that was already healed because Aaron had told her he'd been his ride for that appointment.
"No Sarah he's really sick.." He paused in the thought to make sure his niece and nephew weren't around to over hear. "like sick sick."
"Oh God. It's not like papa is it?" Her eyes glistened with the memory of their grandfathers struggle.
"There hasn't been any signs of cancer but whatever it is it's getting worse. If he loses any more weight he's going to be skinnier than you." She held a decent amount of curve but she was still pretty petite and for a guy of Eliot's size the comparison was drastic.
"Why didn't he tell me?" She moved to sit and he followed.
"Sarah how do you expect him to share anything with you when you've shut him out completely?" They still weren't talking and after too many failed attempts Aaron had decided to stay out of it.
"He threw me out!"
"And you said he was a no good coward that's pretty much wasted his life!" Did she not see the pattern.
"I was mad." She did regret calling him a coward.
Everything he had done for them was proof enough that he wasn't.
"And you don't think that he isn't?"
"How is he?" It was reasonable that he too would be angry but with news like this she could easily put all of those feelings to the side.
"It's El, he's fighting of course.." He was proud of his brothers determination but the feeling didn't keep.
It didn't seem to matter this time. "but it's kicking his ass."
"What about treatments? Are they doing anything for him?" He hadn't looked so great the last time she saw him and to hear it was worse.. well she didn't want to imagine.
"He's got himself a decent doctor and he's doin' his best but it ain't much.
Eliot's got a few different things he's on to manage the symptoms but between the side affects and this illness he's damn near bed ridden." Aaron hadn't let Ashlee know most of this so she wouldn't worry or pry as she planned the wedding.
Only problem was whenever she asked for his opinion his mind would wander over to his brother and how it would only take one wrong turn for Eliot to not only miss the wedding but every other important thing that happened in his life.
"You're kidding!" A hand flew over her mouth in slight surprise but mainly to cover how loud she had gotten. Pete only knew bits and pieces of certain things and the kids were completely in the dark. They didn't even know that Eliot was in the same state and right now that was how she'd like to keep it.
"I'm worried.." It hadn't gotten him anywhere the last dozen times but with a deep breath he suggested it again. "and I think you should go see him. I know you don't like Nate but the guy's solid. He's still right there with Eliot even after all of this and it's 24/7. The man's dedicated and after all I've seen I can tell you he ain't gonna change, he ain't goin' nowhere."
"It's not that I don't like Nate it's ju- ...wait." She stopped her absent ministrations with the salt shaker as his words sunk in. "How is he with Eliot all day? Doesn't he have to work?" Surely he had some kind of job that was paying for the rent and bills.
"He's his own boss, he has himself a little business that he's been running out of the house... and you'd know this if you bothered to meet the guy half way!" That had been close and he had to hand it to Eliot for how easy he made it look to be honest while staying deceptive.
"That's the thing." Sarah sighed as she glanced at the clock. "I don't think Eliot wants me to. A lot of things were said that shouldn't have been and me going over there is bound to make it worse."
"There's no way you can make it worse." She obviously had something to say to that but he didn't let her. "God forbid but what if something happens to him? If tomorrow comes and he's not here? Do you really want your last memories to be of some stupid argument?"
Faintly she could hear Eliot's angry voice claiming himself as a loser. "If worst comes to worst and I don't get another chance to talk to him at least I know my last words would've seriously been I love you." They had nearly made Eliot cry, hell he had. "What were yours?"
Her lip quivered and her eyes burned as she thought of exactly that. "I'll go."
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"That guy was a creep." Hardison stuck his nose up in distaste at the picture of Slone Nate was staring at as he took a seat next to him.
"He is a creep." Sophie corrected as she pulled the picture and papers away from Nate and put a plate in there place.
He pushed it away but Parker was quickly returning it to its spot as she sat with her own.
"What did I tell you about bringing Steve to the table?" The only reason the kitten was even allowed in the house was because Eliot had taken a liking to her.
"Parker put the cat down, Nate eat your food." Sophie advised as she sat next to Hardison at the circular table.
She had returned from seven glorious weeks in Europe a little over a month ago to find not a recovered but a sickly Eliot.
"It's weird to be sitting here like this without Eliot forcing us to try his new twice baked something or other." Hardison grumbled as he pulled his fork through he didn't even know what. He wasn't one for family dinners, especially when a big part of that family was missing.
"Force?" The word brought everyones attention to the doorway where Eliot had himself propped. "Last I remember making something you were willingly stuffin' that gullet."
"I don't like to waste." Normally he'd have had a better comeback for that but he was too busy summing up the shape El was in to think of appropriate insults.
Eliot tried for a huff but it turned into a cough that had both Parker and Nate at his side. "What are you doing Bubba?"
"That's dinner ain't it?" It seemed like they were trying to steer him back toward the hall but he was determined to enter the kitchen.
For days he had been in that room hearing whispers and yelling, shouting and shushing, the loudest being the voice in his head. Constantly it repeated, 'they're talking about you' and he couldn't take it any longer.
"Heck yeah.. here you can have my chair." Hardison offered as he scooted it over and moved to get a stool for himself. "Hell you can have my plate if you want it."
"I think we can manage to get him a plate of his own Hardison." Sophie reprimanded as she stood to do just that.
She didn't cook for just anyone so they'd better show their appreciation by at least eating it.
"What is it?" Eliot did his best to sound interested instead of skeptical as he settled at the table.
The only thing he could make out was what he believed to be some form of potatoes and it already had his stomach feeling uneasy.
"Good question." Nate commented as he took a sip from his ever present whiskey.
Eliot's eyes were understanding which peeved him all the more.
They should be accusing but they were knowing instead, right now drinking was his best way to cope.
"I think it's Frenchie.." Parker mock whispered. "but Steve seems to like it."
"Hey now! Don't you go feeding that to the cat!" Sophie was obviously becoming offended.
"Where is Steph?" Eliot had taken to calling her Stephanie, much like the others he couldn't see calling a cat, let alone a female cat Steve.
"She's under the table." Both Parker and Nate answered.
"This here is an authentic shepherd's pie," Sophie brought attention back to her masterpiece as Eliot bent under the table to presumably retrieve the kitten. "you'll never taste another like it."
"You can say that again." Parker would honestly say a mud pie held more appeal.
"Yeah Soph, is there a certain reci-"
"Eliot?" Hardison's worried voice cut through the conversation and what Nate was about to say.
"El?" He hadn't answered Hardison so Nate placed a hand on his shoulder to coax him back up.
Instead he fell from the chair and near immediately started shaking.
"Oh God.. he's seizing." Sophie's words were shaky as Nate joined Eliot on the floor, Hardison pulled the table back, and Parker moved chairs to make room.
"Call an ambulance." Nate had Eliot's head turned to the side in his lap trying to insure he didn't choke.
A seizure was the last thing they needed right now.
With one last look at Eliot Hardison left to make that call, he couldn't help but think there were easier ways to get out of eating Sophie's shepherd's pie.
E/N:Good? Bad?
Let me know what you think!