I know... and I'm sorry but right about this time of year I always seem to lose internet access.
I wanted to give ya'll a holiday chapter but it didn't happen which disappointed me more than it probably would've any one of you.
Thanks to all the new readers I loved hearing from you.. and hi to the old (you know who you are... I love you guys) hopefully this will begin to make up for the horrible lack of chapters lately.

Chapter Forty-Two

"So maybe the car accident wasn't at fault." Jordan relented as he took a bite of his sub.
He and Torlyn had taken to meeting once a week for dinner to discuss the mystery "Spencer" had become.

"Ya think." Jordan had been pushing for improvement time but now that they seemed to be on the same page maybe they'd get somewhere.

"I'm still saying it's bacterial. I mean what else throws this much at you?" His chips were popped open as he reviewed what they knew.
The only thing that seemed cut and dry from this case were the guys tingly toes.

"Theres been no signs of bacteria." Sean passed over a napkin as he grabbed a fork for himself.
Jordan's manners might be lacking but his knowledge wasn't, that and he was a great vent.

"So it's hiding." Jordan shrugged off both the words and the napkin.

"Bacteria assuming an identity other than its own?"

"Exactly!" Jordan didn't seem to hear the skepticism. "And if it's been playing dress up this entire time than who are we to say what it really looks like?"

"Or how long it's been there?" That was the one thing that was never questioned.
It all started with the car accident.

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" They had nearly every day for the last three months logged but not a single thing before that.

"We need to find out about March. January and February too, possibly December." This new opening felt like rain after a drought.
"I can't believe I've been letting this car accident blind me."

"Focus!" If they beat themselves up over everything they missed they'd be nothing more than patients themselves and who would that help?
"When are the results from the serological tests coming in?"

"I should have them by the morning bu-" He paused in his thoughts and his dinner as his phone began to ring.

"Forget to ask permission before you left the house?"

"Dr. Torlyn" Sean rolled his eyes at the comment as he listened to what was being said. "When?... What about stabilization? ...Alright, I'm coming in."

"Didn't you just get done telling Freddie to lay off the french fries?" Jordan presumed the conversation had been about Tom, Sean's newest patient.
The guy was barely 5'10 and on the other half of 300 pounds. "The heart attack should be expected if he insists on deep frying the thing."

"It was about Spencer." Torlyn stood having already dropped money on the table.

"So at least finish dinner. It isn't like he'll be going anywhere." With that he picked up his own sub, intent on finishing the meal.

"He seized."

"Damn it." Sean shook his head as Jordan dropped his sandwich and they headed for the door.
He wasn't sure if the words held anger toward the situation or the fact that he hadn't even finished half his hoggie, which was probably a good thing.

Meatballs weren't the best meal for a middle aged man, not unless he wanted to end up like fat Freddie.

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"What are you thinking?" Sophie asked Nate as she sat down with a newly retrieved cup of tea.
Strangely enough he looked right at home in his dank waiting room chair.

"Seizures are greatly associated with CFS."

"I thought it wasn't CFS?"

"Don't taunt me!" The last thing he needed was her rubbing the salt in. "I already know what you think and I don't need to hear it yet again."

"It isn't a taunt. I trust your judgment, the team as a whole believes in your thoughts, so now isn't the time for you to start doubting them." She patted his knee with a reassuring hand. "You say it isn't CFS so I too am saying it isn't CFS."

"And if it is?" He asked as she flipped her hand and he placed his in it.

"Then you do what you do best."

He didn't have the heart to tell her, or any of them really, that he was running out of plans. "I always do."

"You know... if this wasn't so personal it would make a tragically wonderful tale of romance." The classic line of love trials.

"You'd have to put some romance in it first." Nate grumbled as he leaned back some and crossed his feet.

"I take it your sleeping on the couch isn't solely because he's in pain then?" Though she spent nearly all of her time at the house she'd rented a condo and most mornings when she'd arrive he'd still be sleeping on said couch.

"He doesn't want me in there." The half dozen times he had literally slammed the door in his face had made that clear.

"He doesn't know what he wants." Sophie assured as she gave his hand a reassuring squeeze.

"I beg to differ there Soph." If Eliot was anything at all he was a man that knew what he wanted.

"Nate he's used to being a solid support, not needing one. He said it himself ...self control is everything to him and slowly he's been losing that.
Right now your relationship is the only thing he can control."

"And he's got it set for self destruct." Nate sighed as he rubbed his free hand across his face.

"So what are you going to do about it?" Never would she have imagined giving advice on this relationship, especially not when she still struggled with similar emotions, but neither would she have imagined them in their current situation.

"I... I'm.." It wasn't a question he could answer, at least not for Sophie. Instead he asked, "What happened with you and Stan?"

"I decided I'd be better off going my own way." She'd leave out that she came to that conclusion only a little over a week after they arrived in Europe.

"I'm sorry to hear that." What else was he supposed to say?

She nodded simply. "I really know how to pick them."

"Hey!" The hurt he feigned made her smile which turned into a laugh that he was soon echoing.

"My.. my picks haven't been much better." Sophie's echo of his earlier, "Hey" had him laughing anew.

"You know.." Sophie started as she stared into bright blue eyes... and when did he get so close?

"I know.." Nate agreed to he didn't even know what as he stared at the lips those words had come from.

"You know" She started again as she tried to figure why he would say he knew what she had yet to say.

'I know" He stressed as he leaned in until he could feel the warmth of her breath against his own lips.

"Nate" She knew this was a horrible idea, that Nate had drunk his fair share that day, that Eliot had been as cold as ice to him lately and this was nothing more than loneliness. She should probably move away, be the rational one, but his eyes were pleading and she just wasn't that good of a person.

She leaned in and just as soon as she did so he jerked back. "Soph I.. I'm.."

Nate was quick in putting distance between them as he attempted to get sense flowing back through his brain. "I'm sorry."

"So am I."She offered as she stood figuring it best to make herself scarce for awhile.

"Damn it!" His foot immediately began throbbing as it connected with the wall but it didn't feel like even half of what he deserved.

What had he just done?

Eliot was he didn't even know where and here he was about to ruin everything.

He could be considered a lot of things, had been called plenty of them, but unfaithful was never one.

He wasn't a cheater.

Yet he had nearly done just that.

"God Eliot" In a huff he dropped back into his chair burying his head in his hands.
Everything they had been through, everything he had put Eliot through, all the work it had taken to build something decent... and he had been on the verge of destroying it.

With Sophie none the less.

Any other girl would have been a guilty speed bump for them but Sophie.. she'd have them ship wrecked.

He felt like an ass.. and not even because of what he almost did.
No, it was because somewhere a part of him wanted to follow her and put reason behind his feelings of guilt.

"You alright?" Came Hardison's mumbled voice through covered ears.

"Whatdya think?" He lifted his head just in time to see the accusation settle in those dark eyes.

"That you need to pull it together man." Eliot's lurking had rubbed off, well at least enough so that it had him watching Nate and Sophie undetected.

"Why don't you mind your own?" He was mad at himself so of course he'd take it out on Hardison.

"I can do that.. but you should probably do the same.
That's unless you want things to go back to how they was in November." Yeah he said it.
There was no doubt in his mind that Eliot would be gone quicker than before if he got wind of what these two had been trying to pull.

"Is that a threat?" Nate's back went stiff. He'd been too busy beating himself up to think of actually telling Eliot but if Hardison was planning to rat he had no choice but to squeal on himself first. He was screwed and technically he hadn't even done anything wrong.

"No, I wouldn't do that to him..." With everything Eliot was dealing with he wouldn't be the one to drop that baggage on top. "and hopefully you don't either."

"Is there something you wanted?" Nate took all three meanings in stride as he switched topic.
Hardison wasn't going to tell, Hardison didn't think he should either, and he was warning him not to mess things up with Sophie again unless he wanted Eliot to repeat last years disappearing act.

"Yeah.." Hardison assured as he switched his stance. "me and Parker figured out where El's at. She's with him now."

"And?" He had done the whole devoted boyfriend thing.
It wasn't doing him a bit of good and in all honesty he was getting tired of it.

"And? I just tell you I know where you can find the man after a friggin' seizure and all you gotta say is and!
Maybe you should go find Sophie."

"You better watch yourself." Nate was completely threatening as he pushed past and it left Hardison attempting to hide a smirk as he followed.
He knew that would get him moving.

"He's just down the hall from where he was last time." Hardison's offer had Nate turning the corner and he soon took lead to point out which room he was referring to. "He was sleeping." He advised as he opened the door and he and Nate walked in.

"Has anybody been in yet?" Nate asked Parker as he took in a sight that was becoming all too familiar.

"No but he's been talking." She was still trying to figure his words out.

"He was up?" Hardison asked as he glanced at the clearly sleeping man.
Now he knew he hadn't been gone that long.

"No just talking.
He called somebody Mariah.. maybe Marissa..
I'm not sure but I think he said something about a crib." It didn't make sense and in all likely hood she had probably heard wrong.

"Wouldn't know." Nate lied.
He and Eliot had yet to pick up that conversation and he sure wouldn't be doing it with Hardison and Parker.
"You two should probably get going though.. I'd say it's past time to call it a night."

"I could stay," Parker offered. She wouldn't say Nate was drunk but he sure wasn't sober and she didn't know if that was the best way to leave him with Eliot. "if you want."

"Just bring coffee in the morning.. and find Sophie. Tell her to go home."

"Oh I'll make sure she gets home." Hardison swore.
No way was he giving them two the chance to be in the same building tonight.
Not after what he had just witnessed.

"How do you feel about cleaning a litter box?" Was the last thing Nate heard as they pulled the door closed behind them.

It wasn't all that late but it felt it for how the day had been going and still tomorrow he needed to go and follow through with Slone.

"Eliot" He couldn't do this anymore.

After that last confrontation things were supposed to get better but they had only gotten worst.
Eliot had completely quit on him and this wasn't something he could do on his own.
He didn't want to, he wanted help, he needed it, and Eliot refused to offer it.

If him being sick was their only problem then they'd be good as gold but that was far from it and.. he just couldn't do it anymore.
"Eliot wake up.. we need to talk." He didn't get an answer but then again he didn't expect one as he shook his arm. "Eliot!"

His patience was non existant as he waited for him to wake.
The anger he was feeling was centered toward self but he let it bubble anyway knowing he'd need it if he was to follow through with his plans.
"Eliot" Blue eyes slowly opened and it had him realizing that they must have given him something.

"Na'e" It was slurred and barely understandable and Nate wasn't sure if that was from the meds or after affects of the seizure but it bothered him. "Wha' you doin' 'ere?"

"Where else would I be?" He was a chicken.
The first words Eliot had spoken to him in weeks that weren't filled with hate had his resolve crumbling.

'You got.. he's gonna.. he's.."

"Shh" Nate hushed as Eliot struggled with finding and forming words. "I don't need to be anywhere but here."

"Wha' 'appened?" More memory trouble, great.

"Don't worry about it.
All that's important now is you getting better, everything else can wait." He only hoped.

"I'm sorry." Eliot reached a hand out for his own but he didn't take it.

Instead he sat in the chair at the very bottom of the bed. "We're just going to hold off on things for a while alright.
Well figure us out after you start getting better." It wasn't a split like he had originally decided but this way just might work better.
Whether you call it a break, a stand still, or even a pause it was giving him the time to sort things through without the fear of them worsening.

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He was supposed to be heading to Spencer's room but he couldn't bring himself to show with more bad news so instead he was hoping to find last minute answers in his office. Seizing was quickly added to the ever growing list of possible symptoms.

The fevers, headaches, vomiting, and joint pain were all persistent in presence but not very specific to any one thing.
They had tried many a test, and quite a few samples but with the luck they were having it'd be easier to tell you what he didn't have.

"Ding-dong" and surely enough an actual ding-dong was thrown at him from the doorway. "Aren't you supposed to be checking progression on the Spencer kid?"

"I was just about ready to do that." Torlyn set down his pen as he placed the chocolate cake from Jordan to the side.

"His seizing cause any damage... or better yet bring any insight?" Jordan questioned as he grabbed himself a seat.

"Some speech was all I noticed but I'll get a complete eval come morning.
As for insight.. I'd get a better view blind." He'd picked up on a slight lisp and definite slur but he was nearly positive it would only be short term.

"Well maybe these will help you see." Jordan shrugged as he passed an envelope across the desk. "I went to the lab and got them myself."

"Thanks" The accomplishment wasn't all that great but he acknowledged it none the less as he broke the seal on his test results. "In.. inconclusive!" His words were both disbelieving and angry as he double checked the papers before tossing them in a fit.

"Geeze Mr. Moody, you think the emotions are high enough up there?"

"Jordan this isn't a game." Another test that they had to pay for and it hadn't even been worth the pot.

"I know that. Just like I know this case has been sucking you dry."

"What did you say?" Torlyn's head popped up from the file he had been filling in at those words.

"That this case is like a bad leech.
If you let it it will take everything you got." Jordan watched Sean's face turn from puzzlement to concentration and it was weird.
The meaning of his words didn't need that much thought.

"A leech?"

"Yeah a leech." Jordan stressed a word Torlyn was making sound foreign. "You know.. those little blood suckers."

"A blo-" His word cut as a thought struck and slowly a smile started to appear.

"What?" He didn't see where Sean was putting all of this or where leeches fit.
He doubted this Spencer would have overlooked something like that.

"No way!" Sean shook his head in disbelief even though in all reality he was hoping it true.
It sure fit. "There's just... there's no way!"

"For what?" Jordan stood as Torlyn did.
Apparently he planned on taking everything he had from the Elliott case with him.

"I can't believe it."

"Well neither can I." Jordan snipped.
He wanted to be led on to the good news and cheery mood too.

"It's.." He couldn't even find the words.

If this was what he thought they were actually pretty well on base. "Jordan.. I think I just might love you."

He wiped his face from the unexpected kiss that Torlyn had placed on his cheek as he watched the man take off down the hall. "You're welcome."
Now if only he knew what for. "... and I'm telling your wife!" A laugh met his ears and he offered a matching.

E/N: So whatdya think?
Am I forgiven?