Before Michael knew what was happening he was crying. He wasn't even sure why. He just felt like all of the, well, stuff he had been bottling up since that night with Jeremy was just coming out now. Alice stared across the table, concerned.
"Michael, honey, are you okay?" she asked, softly as possible. He tried to form words, but all that came out were gulps of air. He couldn't breath. His chest felt tight, almost, and not the way he normally felt in a binder. It felt like he couldn't get the right amount of air through. He knew he was having a panic attack, and he got the one word he knew he could out so his mom would understand.
"Breathing." His mom nodded, understanding. She started whispering soothing instructions, counting for him so he didn't have to focus on that too much, and telling him little things to focus on. He calmed down after a little while. Not completely, but enough so that they weren't drawing attention to themselves. Alice had scooted her chair around the table so that she could place a comforting hand on her sons shoulder, and waited for his breathing to go back to normal. It took awile, but eventually Michael was breathing regular amounts of oxygen and wasn't crying anymore. "Mom, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to-"
"Do not apologize to me, love," she told him. "You have no reason to be sorry. I'm sorry for not bringing you to therapy or anything sooner. You moth-" He heard her catch herself, but didn't say anything. He didn't want her to feel worse then she already did. "Robin always thought it was unnecessary and to expensive." Michael nodded, but he wasn't really processing the words. It didn't matter any ways. His chest still felt heavy, and all he wanted to do right now is eat, so he just wanted to stop talking. His mom must of gotten the hint, because she grew quite too, and neither of them said a single word. Which gave Michael a little bit of time to think. He never wanted that to happen again. He never wanted to worry his mom again. So he made a decision.
He wasn't taking anymore of that medication.
Later that day, Michael was driving over to Rich's house. His mom had told him that she didn't want him going, but he told her he would be fine. That that afternoon had meant nothing and that he was completely fine. She 'made' him take his meds before he went, but little did she know he actually spit them out in his toilet 5 minutes before leaving. Ops. He pulled in to his tiny friends driveway, and got out of the car. He barely even knocked on the door before Rich opened it and ushered him in.
"Hey dude," his tiny friend whispered. "My dad just passed out, so we gotta give him a bit before he is passed out." Michael nodded, then grinned.
"Alright, you ready for the night of you life, little weed?" he muttered to Rich. Rich raised an eyebrow at him, making a face.
"Michael, what the hell is a little weed?" Michael shrugged, not even sure himself.
"It's you, I guess," he joked. "Now come on. Either to your basement or upstairs. We're about to be letting out some smoke." Rich glared at the slightly taller boy, but decided it really wasn't worth fighting about. Whatever. It could honestly be a lot worse.
"Fine. Upstairs, let's go," Rich instructed, leading Michael up the stairs of his house, making sure neither of them stepped on that one step that always seemed to creak, or lean to hard on the rickety railing. Rich didn't want his dad up, especially when Michael was around. Having two moms and being gay yourself really makes you known in their small part of their neighborhood. And Rich's dad wasn't the nicest or most open of men on the planet.
"Alright, little weed. You ready to get high as a kite?" Rich took a deep breath and cleared all of his thoughts. He didn't need those right now. At all.
"Yeah, I'm ready," he replied. "But remind me why I agreed to this?"
"Because you're a good friend and you love me," Michael said, winking at Rich. The smaller boy chuckled, before opening the door to his bedroom and rushing inside. Michael followed, and they quietly shut the door behind them. Michael flung himself onto Rich's bed, and sighed. He pulled out a pack of cigerettes, and threw them to Rich.
"Uh, dude, no offense but-"
"Those are just to get us started. Or just for me. The good stuff is in my bag."
Rich was high as a loose kite, and Michael was quickly getting to that point as well. Rich's bedroom was filled with smoke, even though they had opened a window earlier. To Michael, it almost looked kind of like fog. 'Oh gosh, what if fog could come into your bedroom like this?' Michael thought to himself. He giggled slightly. Interrupting whatever Rich had been saying about burning and flames and whatever.
"Dude, are you okay?" Rich asked him, slowly blinking at the other boy. Michael nodded, then shook his head, then nodded again. "Bro, you're making me dizzy."
"I'm great, man. So cool. Gucci."
"Dude, what's up? You don't use modern slang-" Rich cut himself off. "That is what it's called right? Slang. That doesn't sound right. Slang slang bang bang! Almost sounds like one of those stupid pep rally cheers." Michael nodded.
"It does! Totally, man." Michael sighed and laid back on Rich's bed, placing the small cigarette in his hands in a tray he had brought with him. "Yeah, dude I'm not feeling cool. Jeremy's avoiding me and I don't know what to do." Rich nodded, the words slowly making their way through his mind. Who knew feeling this way could feel so good!
"Yeah man, uh, what happened and all? You haven't told me, and Jer-Bear isn't talkin to me either." Michael nodded. He glance over at Rich.
"It doesn't matter anymore. What has happened has, and I'm not Doctor Who or whatever. I can't go back in time and just fix-"
"I don't think that's how Doctor Who works, bro."
"I'm pretty sure it does, man."
"Yeah, no, my brother used to watch that nerd thing. I'm pretty sure that's not how it worked, dude."
"Whatever man." Michael and Rich sat in silence for a few more moments, before Rich followed Michael's original lead and laid back on the bed as well.
"Well, if it makes you feel better I'm pretty sure I'm gonna be single forever," he supplied, grinning at Michael.
"To being single forever, bro," Michael said, raising a lazy fist into the air. Rich chuckled and followed Michael's lead.
"Hell yeah man. No girls telling us what to wear and no guys telling us how to live. Just two bros, being-"
"Chillin in a hot tube," muttered Michael, accidently interrupting Rich.
"Dude really? I'm trying to be real emotional here and you've done messed it up!" Michael laughed, finally feeling relaxed for the first time in- well, since his SQUIP, he guessed. But that didn't mean anything really.
"Five feet apart cause they're not gay!" Michael exclaimed, grinning like a maniac.
"Not unless you're you and Jeremy," Rich muttered. Michael heard, but instead of saying anything he simply just got straight- well, not straight per say- up revenge.
"I think you mean you and Jake, bro." Rich's eyes widened at Michael's words, before fully realizing what he had said. It didn't take long for the short boy to try and strangle Michael with a pillow, trying to get Michael to take it back. Michael laughed, saying never and fighting out till the end, where he finally gave up and said sorry. He didn't regret it of course. Who would? Rich wondered what is was about Michael that he had never wanted to hang out with him before. Oh right. He was a loser. But looking at him now, he definitely wasn't. Rich shook his head. He didn't need to think like that. This night was for fun and video games. And no one, not even the weird feeling in the bottom of his stomach, would change that. Nothing. At. All.
So, uh, no editing so sorry for any mistakes. Also sorry for not updating sooner! I promise the next chapter will make it worth it! This was just sort of filler if I'm being honest, and you guys deserve better then that and I apologize!
Also, to answer questions, anything that has a mind numbing affect I feel could affect the SQUIP. That is just my head cannon, but I think it has a good point. Advil and stuff like that won't turn off the SQUIP, but something that affects your brain and/or thoughts could affect our evil little pill.