Tali and Liara were the first to go into the room to see her. Laura, the quiet human nurse, slipped out of the room and past them, explaining to Miranda that she should be awake soon. The two argued that Garrus should be the first to go in, but the turian shook his head. He wouldn't say it out loud, but he was still having trouble processing everything. The rest of the group talked among themselves, but Garrus remained quiet, staring at the floor under his feet, his arm crossed.
The idea that Shepard, his Shepard, was on the other side of that door was too much for him at the moment.
Ebb and flow of these emotions were foreign to him. Sure, he didn't think he was wired like other turians. His father even grumbled his opinion on that matter more than once over his years. Turian culture was dignified, controlled. He learned for years to press down his base reactions, to calculate instead of fly off the handle. Reign it in, keep in check. Shepard kind of threw all of that out the window.
He watched her back on the field, listened to her talk to so many people, solve so many problems … He laughed with her, strategized, argued about all kinds of things … He held her close to him, thought about her when he was alone in the battery, watched her sleep with strange curiosity he didn't understand, heard her worry about what was to come … He said goodbye to her, more than once, thinking they would never see each other again.
I'm certain she will not be the commander you remember. Kirron's words stuck in his mind. Would that be possible? Could she not be the commander he remembered? Hearing her condition, it was obvious physically she would be different, but he wasn't worried about that. Garrus never thought of himself as a turian with a human fetish. Their differences in race made him worry about how they would … "perform," for lack of a classier word, certainly, but he didn't fall for Shepard because she was human.
He fell for Shepard because she was … well, Shepard.
Shepard was this incredibly talented, incredibly intriguing, incredibly confusing, woman who made him question what he knew and stood for. Never in a bad way, though. She challenged him, made him want to become someone, not just some C-Sec grunt who kept their nose down in paperwork. This woman made him want to stand for something, really stand for something, not just grumble about it under his breath. Having her as a leader was a privilege; having her as a lover made him the luckiest being alive.
Then he realized. He was nervous that she wouldn't be her. What if something happened when she was up on the Crucible? Garrus liked to think he was there to help her at a moment's notice, but now … he felt helpless. The events of the Crucible were completely unknown to him, and there was probably nothing that he could say or do that would make it better for her. He was still trying to understand this whole "supportive boyfriend" role he put himself in. Put himself in, because Shepard never needed someone to hold her hand. Hell, she probably saved him more times than he saved her.
But now, if she needed him to be there, would he be ready to fill that role? What could he say, what could he do, for her? For days, he anxiously paced her cabin, the crew decks, the main battery, thinking about how it would feel to be with her again. Now, he was worried he wouldn't be what she needed anymore. Uncertainty was something he was never comfortable with.
"She's awake!" Liara's gentle voice exclaimed in excitement from the door.
The turian snapped out of his thoughts to look over at her. Her smile was wide, though fresh tears had left a trail down her cheeks. Imagine all of the emotional reunions Shepard would have to go through … Liara's eyes stopped on him as he leaned against the wall, a good distance from the door.
"Garrus, I believe you should see her next."
With a nod, he straightened up from the wall to approach the door. Liara touched his arm before turning to lead him inside. The room was smaller than he anticipated. With the cot, machinery, and the three standing bodies, there was hardly any space to walk around. Tali's back was to him, leaned over the cot and blocking his view of her. She was talking rapidly, laughing out of sheer happiness. Liara cleared her throat.
"Garrus is here, Tali," she said. "I believe we should give them some time."
"Oh, of course!" Tali answered as she straightened up.
Liara came to stand beside her, reaching down to touch Shepard. "We will be back in sometime soon, Shepard, as will the rest of the crew."
"We're so happy you're okay," Tali commented, her voice giving away the wide smile she had on her face.
A dry, strangled laugh came from the cot. "Could be better," she said with effort.
"But you're here. That will always be the best news."
"Do not strain yourself," Liara emphasized. "Dr. Kirron will not allow us back, otherwise."
"'Course not," Shepard answered, her voice strained. "Thank you."
"No, thank you," Tali replied, patting her one last time before turning to face Garrus.
The turian was having trouble looking over at the cot. Quietly, the quarian squeezed his arm before she and Liara left him alone in the room. Slight shifting finally made him look up at the cot. There sat Commander Shepard, the savior of the galaxy. She seemed small in the cot, nestled into the blankets and multiple pillows. The foot of her right leg poked out from the blanket, revealing the beginnings of a basic plaster cast around her ankle. Her arms were out above the blankets, her right cradling her heavily bandaged left. The skin of her right arm was pale red, fresh with a few new scars and healing cuts, but there were no bandages.
Admittedly, it was unusual to see her left arm. Slightly under the bend of her elbow, her forearm and hand were gone, now replaced by a thick collection of gauze and bandaging. She looked down at it when Garrus did, then moved her right hand to cover the bandages. He looked up at her then, seeing her face. More bandages covered her left side, starting at the other side of her nose, stretching down her cheek and neck, disappearing down into the collar of the simple gown she wore. Her left eye and the forehead above it were bandaged thoroughly as well, causing the hair that usually rested on her forehead to stick out slightly.
Garrus felt himself relax as soon as her focused on her full lips, seeing them up-turned in the most genuine smile he had ever seen. In less than a second, all of his uncertainties evaporated. That smile meant she needed him as he would always need her. No Shepard without Vakarian. Now, there never would be.
Her right eye glistened with unshed tears as they stared at each other. Something he saw fewer times than he could count on his hand, but he never thought she was more beautiful than right now. Of course, she would never let him say that. But he hoped she knew it all the same.
"Hey," she whispered, her voice still dry and hoarse.
"'Hey?'" the turian had to laugh as he approached her. "Is that typical protocol for reunions like this?"
The woman wheezed a laugh. "Not sure, actually."
"Well, I'll go with it. Hey." He pressed his mouth plates gently against the forehead above her right eye.
Shepard reached up and brushed her fingers against his mandible before the energy seemed to drain from her. Garrus caught her hand as she went to place it back on her chest, tracing his gloved fingers over her wrist. The two were quiet as he pressed his forehead against her right temple. For what felt like minutes, they just listened to each other's breathing. Garrus closed his eyes, inhaling her scent. It reminded him of the seawater, an edge of salt, yet fresh and just a little intoxicating citrus. Again, something he would never say to her, but it was one part of her he would never forget, no matter hard he would have tried.
A small chuckle came from her as he opened his eyes. Shepard was looking down at her arms. Garrus had continued to unconsciously trace patterns along the top of her right hand and wrist. He kissed her lips then, avoiding putting too much pressure against her. Despite his gentleness, she hissed in slight pain, so he pulled away immediately.
"No," Shepard groaned, reaching for his face with her hand again.
She pulled him toward her with little force (he suspected because her body was still recovering), but Garrus didn't fight her. Her lips pressed against his mouth plates for a long moment, her tongue brushing against them before a shuddered breath made her stop. The turian allowed her to pull away despite his own reluctance. Shepard's thumb brushed the plates under his visor as the first gasps of emotion overtook her. Her eye focused on his as the tears finally started.
"I thought—" her voice caught. "I was so sure—"
"I love you," he blurted, surprised at how easily the words slipped out. He was so nervous about those words before, like somehow they didn't belong in his mouth. Now, he was sure he would mean them for the rest of his existence.
Another huff of a laugh came from Shepard as she looked down at her left arm, lifting it slightly from her side. "Even now?"
"Sorry, Shepard. I'm not going anywhere."
More tears came down her cheek as he ran his fingers gently up her right arm.
"Damn you," she sniffed. "My throat hurts and my left eye burns like hell right now."
Catching her hand as it slipped away once more, he tilted his head down to kiss her again. He was fairly certain Kirron and Miranda would kill him for causing so much excitement the first few minutes she was conscious, but Garrus couldn't help himself. A part of him still didn't believe she was here; for so many days, he thought he would have to etch her face, her voice, her scent into his mind, because that was all he had left.
How her skin felt against his body, the soft inhale of breath and shiver she had when his talons gently drug across that skin, leaving a trail of what Shepard called goose bumps. The way her body and mind finally gave into him, allowing her to vulnerable, with a quiet whisper of his name. Feeling their bodies react instinctually to each other (awkwardly at first, but it became second nature), seeing that look on her face as she was pitched over the edge, her hands gripping him wherever they could reach … knowing that smile of pure happiness was directed at him.
All of it was something he would never forget. Now, it was true Shepard had changed physically. He would never try to deny that she would look different, but she was here, in his arms, crying softly as he kissed her undamaged skin. And he would be damned how much of her changed, she was his, and he hers.
"I'm wiggling my fingers," she said softly, looking at her arm.
Shepard held up her left arm, focusing on the bandaging with a strange look. She laughed and lifted it slightly again.
"Now I'm bending my wrist … it even hurts a little bit, but I know I'm moving it. This is going to be so weird."
"Don't worry," Garrus answered, touching the upper part of her left arm. "Miranda said she's going to try to design a prosthetic for you. We can have a shooting rematch to test it out."
"Good thing I use my right eye for my scopes. That will take some getting used to, too."
"You're Commander Shepard. I think you've proven to everyone that you can do whatever the hell you want." He wiped more tears from her cheek. "For now, though, you should relax. It's not warm and tropical like we wanted, but it's a start. Think of it as a vacation."
"To be honest, Garrus, I didn't think vacation meant everything hurts."
The turian had to grin. "Well, give it a few more weeks, and I'm sure I can think of a few ways to make you feel better."
Shepard laughed as he leaned down to kiss her once more. "I'll hold you to that, Vakarian."
A/N: And there is my first official Shakarian fluff. Hopefully it is to everyone's liking! I tend to write a little more seriously than I intend on a regular basis, so I'm not sure if I can actually write fluffy moments. Gave it my best shot. Also, I was really excited about this chapter, so you get two chapters in one day! Plus side of having vacation time from work, I can edit and write much more than I usually do. Anyway, I hope everyone has been enjoying Aftermath so far, and don't worry, there's still more to come.