They Had Time Chapter 9: Second Chances from the A-ca-Gods, a pitch perfect fanfic

~B~

Beca's brain had a hard time processing everything that was going on as she ran into the room.

"Guys."

Apparently no one heard her over the din as they kept screaming and yelling.

After the sound, the next thing that hit her was the smell, which she tried vainly to ignore as she surveyed the room.

Halfway up the row of chairs, Ashley looked like she was comforting Jessica, both of them watching as Stacie blew her whistle as she tried to get away from Cynthia Rose by climbing up the seats – or maybe she was demonstrating how she would mount and hump someone in a chair or the chair itself; at this point Beca wasn't going to rule anything out. Cynthia Rose was half climbing up behind her, trying to reach the whistle, Beca assumed, but the why of it escaped her. Denise was standing behind them, apparently trying to talk Cynthia Rose down. Or offer advice. Beca's head already hurt trying to figure this out.

Aubrey and Chloe were on the floor and Fat Amy had them both in a headlock as she knelt over them. The three of them were apparently wrestling for control of the pitch pipe that lay less than an inch from their fingertips. It was also the only thing that made sense in this entire room.

Because beyond them… 'Holy shit, is Lilly lying in a pool of vomit? Making… a vomit angel? God, that explains the smell. Poor Aubrey.'

She jogged forward. "Guys! Stop!" She halted next to the piano. "What is going on?"

That apparently did it as everyone slowly noticed her standing there.

Chloe looked up first, her face contorted as she fought to reach beyond Amy's grasp around her neck. She stopped struggling, surprise taking over at seeing Beca standing there. Beca didn't allow herself to linger, this was not the time to let herself get lost in how it felt to be in the same room as Chloe after what felt like centuries.

Especially because Aubrey wasn't far behind, her mouth dropping in shock.

Stacie gave one last blow of her whistle as it fell from between her lips as the room finally, blissfully, fell silent.

Cynthia Rose froze with her hands on Stacie's ass and looked over her shoulder.

Denise, Jessica and Ashley all stopped still and stared at her with varying degrees of shock and distress on their faces.

Beyond the pile that was Amy, Aubrey and Chloe, Lilly sat up and Beca had to choke back her own urge to throw up.

Aubrey took advantage of the distraction as Amy finally loosened her grip and snagged the pitch pipe from under Chloe's hand. Chloe stared at Aubrey in disbelief but Aubrey was too busy pushing herself out from under Amy's arm and to her feet, brushing her hair out of her face. Chloe was a bit slower to rise, Amy still kneeling beside her.

"Nothing. Nothing." Aubrey panted.

In the bleachers, Stacie pushed Cynthia Rose's hands off her thigh and stood up while Ashley and Jessica appeared to wipe away tears – Beca wasn't sure if it was because of the chaos or because the smell of vomit was so strong. Denise went to help Lilly as Aubrey stepped forward, trying to pull herself together.

"This is a Bellas rehearsal." Aubrey straightened up and lifted her chin as if there wasn't vomit trailing down the side; the hand she was holding up to stop Beca's approach still held the pitch pipe. As Aubrey tightened her jaw, Beca briefly wondered if she could possibly have anything left to throw up.

'Well, I guess that answers the question of if it was her idea to text me.' Beca thought. While she had expected that reaction, she was still disappointed at being confronted with it. But it changed nothing, and she had prepared for this outcome. Sort of. Aubrey could be unpredictable and nobody could have prepared for the tableau Beca had walked in on.

"I know." Beca took a cautious step forward. "I just…" She paused as Chloe began to rise, unable to help it when their eyes met. Aubrey turned to watch Chloe stand up beside her, but Beca couldn't spare more than a glance, so caught was she in trying to read Chloe's expression. She was fairly certain that Chloe was as happy to see Beca as Beca was her, but it seemed subdued. Beca couldn't decide if it was because she was trying to protect her heart and not read too much into Beca's being there, or if it was because of the apparent death brawl that Beca had walked in on. 'Probably a combination of both.'

Chloe broke first, turning to look at Aubrey. Beca's eyes flicked back over in time to catch the hint of remorse disappearing from Aubrey's face as she turned from Chloe.

Beca took a breath. "… wanted to say that I'm sorry." She met Aubrey's eyes, trying to make her understand that Beca truly felt bad for the way things had turned out. That she wasn't just paying lip service in order to get back into the group. Something must have shone through because Aubrey took a breath then tightened her lips as she toyed with the pitch pipe.

"What I did was a really dick move." Beca closed her eyes as she heard her voice shake. Standing in front of them and apologizing was harder than she imagined. She knew she had to, knew it was necessary for any sort of fresh start, but she had never opened herself up this way before. Shaking her head at her own insecurities, she continued. "And I shouldn't have changed the set without asking you guys." Beca forced her eyes open to look at Aubrey. "And I definitely shouldn't have left."

Beca looked around at the rest of them, but focused back on Aubrey. "I let you guys down and I'm really sorry." She'd needed to say what she had to the rest of the girls, but she knew there was so much more that she knew she needed to say to Aubrey; she was just finally listening to that part of her that suggested it was better done in private.

But Aubrey merely looked at her and while there wasn't any of the hostility that she'd had before Beca had apologized, it definitely didn't look welcoming. Closing her eyes briefly, Beca took a breath, then a second, before giving the last of her rehearsed speech. "And…" She broke off, finding the words stuck in her throat under Aubrey's implacable stare. "Aubrey, if you would have me, I want back in."

She was aware of the rest of the girls shifting in place to look at Aubrey, all of them taking a deep breath as they waited to see what would happen. Amy's mouth dropped and she looked over at Aubrey and back at Beca, as if she understood what it had cost Beca to admit that.

And Chloe… Beca was having a hard time reading Chloe still. She hadn't expected rainbows and puppies, but she'd thought she'd at least get a smile or some hint that she was happy to see Beca. 'You don't know what happened in this room before you walked in and it was obviously something serious. Just give it time before you decide she's done with you forever.'

But it was Aubrey she had to convince and Beca met those green eyes in time to see them change. When Beca had first walked in, Aubrey had been obviously embarrassed at being found in such an undignified position, especially by someone she considered an outsider. That had shifted to anger as she tried to make Beca leave, but when Beca had started her apology, Aubrey had almost looked impressed that Beca had admitted she was wrong.

And now, well, now Aubrey looked almost vindicated and like she was back on solid ground. In fact, the longer they stared at each other the more Beca felt like Mary Elise must have in that first rehearsal. Then Aubrey lifted her eyebrows and Beca was right back there in that awkward moment where Aubrey made Mary Elise drag her chair to the door.

The silence stretched as Aubrey looked away and down at her hands. The rest of the girls shifted again and Beca could almost feel them willing Aubrey to accept Beca's apology. At first, when Chloe merely crossed her arms, Beca felt her heart drop, thinking that Chloe was, once again, going to remain silent instead of standing up to Aubrey. But then she turned and gave Aubrey a look and Beca could clearly read the annoyance in it.

Aubrey looked back up and Beca could suddenly see the corner that Aubrey felt trapped in. She was clutching the pitch pipe so hard her fingers were white and even if Beca thought that Aubrey was possibly willing to forgive her, maybe Aubrey's fear of losing control was too great. It was almost like she was split down the middle between not wanting to be this way and feeling like she had to, for whatever reasons, real or imagined, that she put on herself.

Beca realized she was going to have to give her either an out or some sort of sign that proved Beca was willing to abide by her rules. With the memory of Mary Elise fresh in her mind, Beca took one last look around the room and nodded. This was either going to work, or she was going to walk out that door.

With that sobering thought, she turned away from them and began to walk out. As she passed the chair, she looked over her shoulder to make sure they were still watching as she reached for it. Slowly she began to head for the door, dragging the chair after her. Barely audible over the sound of the legs on the floor, she heard Amy say Aubrey's name in disbelief.

Beca stopped and looked over her shoulder. Aubrey's gaze dropped to look at the pitch pipe in her hand but that moment had been enough for Beca to see that Aubrey wanted to give in but either didn't know how or didn't want Beca to know it. Beca felt her lips twitch as she fought back a grin. 'This is so stupid and if she doesn't say something soon, I'm going to have to come up with something else.'

Just as she took the step up to the first level of seats, she finally heard Aubrey behind her.

"Wait."

Beca let the chair drop with an exhale. "Thank you. That would have been embarrassing." She paced slowly back to stand in front of them as Amy smiled at her.

Aubrey drew herself up and spread her arms. "Beca, I know that I have been hard on you, okay?" She put on a fake smile and half nodded as she admitted it. Her voice softened a little. "I know that I have been hard on everyone here." She looked over at Chloe who nodded at the acknowledgement while beside her, Amy looked away.

Aubrey slowly looked back at Beca. "But I am my father's daughter." She took a trembling breath, pausing before she continued, her words broken. "And he always said, 'If at first you don't succeed,'" but she had to stop again, rolling her lips together, and Beca could see her fighting to keep back tears, her shaky breaths almost echoing in the silence. "'Pack your bags.'"

Beca was frozen, unsure how even to respond to that statement much less the apparently broken Aubrey who stood in front of her. But Aubrey was already turning and walking toward one of the seats.

"Jesus." Fat Amy turned to Chloe, eyebrows high.

Chloe nodded slightly. "It's really crazy."

Stacie had climbed back down the chairs to stand on the main floor, Jessica and Ashley moving to join the rest of them, as Aubrey collapsed into one of the seats and wiped off her chin. The rest of the girls slowly moved in around them. Denise was helping wipe Lilly down with towels and Beca restrained a shudder as she moved toward Aubrey.

"I get it. Um… Mine gets on me, too." Aubrey looked up at her. "Not like that, but…" Beca looked down, trying to figure out how to bridge the gap that suddenly didn't seem as wide as it had a minute before. "Um." She looked back up at Aubrey and shrugged. "I guess we don't really know that much about each other." She looked around. "About most of you, really."

Stacie stepped forward. "Well, I'll confess something that none of you know about me."

Beca half grinned as Stacie took a deep breath, expecting to finally hear what Stacie was majoring in, something she had made Beca keep guessing at during their group study nights. She didn't think that most of the other girls knew just how much studying Stacie did every week, in addition to her many dates.

With a deep exhale, Stacie said, "I have a lot of sex." Beca barely bit back a laugh.

"Yeah, we know, Stacie." Amy said with an eye roll.

Stacie mock glared at her. "Only because I just told you."

Beca swallowed another laugh. "This is a good idea." She pointed at Stacie. "That was a pretty bad example, but this is a good idea." Stacie fluttered a wink at her and Beca had to look away before she lost it. She looked over at Chloe beseechingly. "Why don't we all go around the room," she said as she turned a chair around and let Denise cover it with a towel for Lilly. She turned another for herself and sat down. "And we can all say something about ourselves that nobody else knows." She took off her scarf as the rest of them got comfortable.

"Okay." Cynthia Rose stood up. "I got somethin'…" She sighed. "This is hard for me to admit to you guys." She put her hands on her hips as she looked at them.

Beca saw Aubrey nodding, then Amy leaned forward and whispered, "I think we all know where this is going." Aubrey half turned toward her but only took a breath as Amy said, louder, "Lezbehonest."

"Well, for the last two years…" Cynthia Rose pushed up her sleeves. "I've had a serious…" She hesitated again, wringing her hands together. "Gambling problem."

"What?" Amy made a face.

"What?" Beca repeated after her. That wasn't something that she'd even thought was a possibility. 'Aren't you supposed to know when you're friends are having a problem,' she thought to herself. It was followed immediately by, 'Of course, you probably have to consider people your friends and not hold yourself apart from them to have that work.'

"It started when I broke up with my girlfriend." Cynthia Rose continued.

"Whoomp! There it is." Amy joked as the rest of them had normal 'I had no idea' reactions.

Cynthia Rose just shook her head and looked at her, until Beca realized she was looking past Amy at Denise. To Beca's utter amusement, Denise whispered 'I still love you' which caused Amy to look back and forth between them like a faced paced tennis match until the realization sunk in.

"Anyone else?" Beca tried to distract them from Cynthia Rose as she sat back down. Lilly raised her hand and Beca leaned forward.

"I ate my twin in the womb."

Beca looked back at the rest of them, eyes wide and hoping that someone other than her had heard that but they just stared blankly back at her. At Amy's quiet, 'What?' Lilly sighed and settled back in her chair.

A bit horrified, Beca took a second to pull herself together. "Okay." She leaned back and looked at Lilly before picking someone at random to get her mind off that. "Um, Fat Amy?"

Amy looked around. "I'm an open book. I mean, for God's sake, you guys all call me Fat Amy." Beca merely looked at her, deciding now was not the time to point out that it was because had Amy told them to. "See, I guess I'm just not really living if I'm not being 100% honest." She looked around, lips pursed. "And my real name is Fat Patricia." She said it fast then took a deep breath, as if she'd cleared a weight from her shoulders.

Jessica, or maybe it was Ashley, said "What?" as Aubrey exhaled beside Amy, a half grin beginning to form.

"Okay," Beca surprised herself by saying. "I've never been one of those girls," she offered as she looked at Aubrey before looking at the rest of them. "Who had a lot of friends who were girls. And I do now." She looked up at the ceiling, smiling despite her embarrassment. "And that's pretty cool." When she looked down, Amy grinned at her.

But it was Aubrey's expression that caught her. Aubrey was actually smiling at her, a light behind her eyes as if she'd heard something she'd been waiting for, until Beca caught her at it. Then she rolled her lips and looked away, kicking her foot lightly as Beca continued. "So, that's me. Someone else please go." For all her confidence, admitting things like that was still difficult, even if she knew she was in a safe space and that none of these girls – including Aubrey – would make fun of her for it. Keeping herself closed off and secret was so much easier, but damned if her dad wasn't right. It was also incredibly lonely.

She looked up as Chloe took a deep breath. "Okay." She stood, blowing out another breath. Beca could almost see her gather herself before taking another bracing breath. "Over spring break," She swallowed heavily before continuing. "I made the courageous decision to remove my nodes."

Beca gasped and was surprised when Aubrey echoed it, almost as if she'd taken a blow to the stomach. Obviously Chloe hadn't told either of them and the knowledge that Chloe had gone through all of it completely alone stuck in Beca's throat. Had she not been so fucking stubborn she or Aubrey would have been there for Chloe. She would have to find some way to try and make it up to her.

"I know." Chloe looked at Aubrey. "The doctor said that I can't sing above a G-sharp," she paused to fight back tears. "Maybe ever." Beca felt her heart break when Chloe's voice cracked and she sobbed. "I thought… the season… was over." She sat back down, shaking her head and looked over at Aubrey, tears in her eyes. Aubrey immediately put her hand on Chloe's arm and squeezed.

Stacie put her hand on Chloe's other shoulder. "It's okay. It's okay." The compassion in her voice was the only one not laced with shock and Beca felt the tiniest bit of relief that Chloe had apparently found someone she could talk to.

Beca pulled her gaze from Chloe's watery eyes as Aubrey looked over at her, her face slowly becoming more and more determined. Beca froze, her nerves beginning to climb as Aubrey pushed up from her seat and took a deep breath.

"Beca." Aubrey said it so seriously, her face so determined, that Beca quickly rose to her feet in response. "What do we do?" Everyone held their breath, eyes darting between the two standing women.

Beca was still surprised that Aubrey had admitted her failures earlier and this shock almost knocked her back off her feet. She felt almost overwhelmed with the implied admission that maybe Beca had been right and the trust Aubrey had just handed to her. She would never have expected this and in fact would have been more than happy to sing the same three songs at Finals as long as she was still part of the group. But to be given this chance...

Her eyes involuntarily flicked between Aubrey's and down to the pitch pipe she was holding. Beca knew the rules, Aubrey had the pitch pipe so what she said goes… Aubrey blinked once and almost without hesitation tossed it to Beca. But Beca had seen the split second of loss in her eyes before she did it and wondered what it had cost Aubrey to literally throw away the talisman she'd clutched so tightly ever since Beca had met her.

Except Beca was usually terrible at catching things, even something as important as this, and the pipe bounced off her hands and rolled all the way across the floor into the pile of vomit.

Aubrey shook her head. "I'm sorry." Beca didn't know why Aubrey was apologizing, she was the one who'd flailed and knocked it out of the air.

Beca folded her hands in front of her then pointed to the side. "Maybe not here." She shook her head, finally allowing herself a small grin.

This was not how she expected this confrontation to go and they still had a couple of serious talks that needed to happen, but damned if she wasn't excited to finally be able to really show them what she thought they could do as a group.

This could change everything.

~C~

The Wednesday Chloe had gotten Aubrey's text that the Bellas were back in the finals, she'd been sitting in her hospital bed. Unable to let out the scream of excitement that she wanted to, she had to settle for slapping the table in front of her, which was far less satisfying.

When the nurse was finally finished with the last exam before they released her, she'd texted Aubrey.

Chloe:
Can't talk, but that's ACA-AWESOME! What happened?!

Aubrey:
I'll explain more when we're both at home, but the Footnotes got disqualified, so we're back in.

Aubrey:
I've texted the others already and let them know that rehearsal is at noon on Sunday. I'll be home a few hours before that, I should have plenty of time to get back from the airport and get ready.

Chloe:
Sounds good, Bree. Have a good rest of the week at home.

Aubrey:
You too, Chlo.

She knew that when Aubrey meant 'the others' she was not talking about Beca, so she took care of it herself. Beyond how Chloe felt about her, she knew Beca was one of them and had to give her the chance to join them.

Chloe:
I'll explain later, but the Bellas are back in the completion. Practice is Sunday at noon.

She didn't really expect a response, figuring that Beca would either have to think about it or was asleep before her shift that night. Chloe had managed to catch a bit of Beca's show the night before, staying up late in her uncomfortable hospital bed, and Beca had sounded so incredibly confident as she gave the station slogans and introduced herself. For the first time in over a week Chloe had gone to sleep with a half-smile on her face, Beca's voice in hear ears and her music following Chloe down into slumber.

While she recovered at her parents, she debated on telling Aubrey about her surgery, since apparently her decision was a little premature, but once again decided Sunday was soon enough. She knew Aubrey would feel guilty at not being there to support her. She would probably even be mad at herself for being the reason their friendship was strained to the point where Chloe felt she couldn't share such big news. Chloe didn't want Aubrey to feel even more upset than she already was, or ruin the good mood this second chance would have given her.

Chloe also tried, and sometimes failed, not to worry about if Beca would see her when she got back. She knew that starting down that path would be her own never ending spiral of fear and tried to keep herself distracted. But whenever a sliver of doubt would work its way through, she immediately attempted to counter it with any number of rehearsed arguments.

In the beginning, she always started with the most eloquent and heartfelt apologies, outlined reasons why they were perfect together and it ended with declarations of love on each side, after which they would fall madly into a passionate kiss and Aubrey would be standing to the side saying "It's beautiful."

Then she stopped needing the pain meds and her daydreams were a little less fantasy and a lot more serious. There were tears and yelling, blame and apologies but underneath all her fear and doubt lay a glowing spark of hope that never faded. She truly believed they were meant to be and all they required was a little time alone to sit down and actually talk.

Every night she listened to Beca's show, loving each time she heard "Hello Barden, I'm Mitchell and you're listening to…" and told herself that it wasn't pathetic that she let it sooth her into sleep.

Every day she tried to avoid the biggest fears swirling through her mind – Beca, Aubrey, her voice, the Bellas. Would she even be able to sing ever again, much less in a competition? The doctors had told her that she should really not sing for a full week or two, but they cautiously agreed she could give it a try on Sunday. If she felt any strain or pain she was to stop immediately and give it the second week, if not a third, before she tried again. She was pretty sure that Aubrey would understand, eventually, but Chloe didn't know what she would do if she couldn't sing.

Finally it was finally time to head back to Barden. Stacie picked her up from the airport, since she was already back in town, and Chloe resisted the urge to ask her if she'd seen Beca; except Stacie saw right through all her attempts at small talk on the way home.

"We had coffee Thursday." Stacie closed the door behind them and started up the stairs with Chloe's suitcase.

"I didn't…" Chloe sighed as she followed. "Ask."

"I know." Stacie set the bag down on Chloe's bed. She turned and gave her an amused look. "I could practically hear how hard you were telling yourself not to."

Chloe hung her purse from the back of the chair at her vanity. "That obvious, huh?"

"Only a little." Stacie sat down on Chloe's bed and watched her.

Chloe pulled off her coat and hung it from the chair. "I'm pathetic." She walked over and flopped face first on her bed beside Stacie.

"Nah." Stacie rubbed her back. "Just in love." Chloe only groaned. "And in your first fight."

"That's even more pathetic." Chloe rolled over onto her back. "Did she look okay?"she said plaintively, giving in to her need to hear even a scrap about how Beca was.

"Yeah." Stacie turned to move the suitcase on the floor and settled down beside her. "Some dark circles – kinda like yours, actually – but she's loving her shift at the radio."

Chloe smiled. "She sounds really good."

"Right?" Stacie laughed. "She's a natural."

Chloe tried to stop herself but blurted it anyway. "Do you think she'll see me?" She turned to look at Stacie.

"I don't know, Red." Stacie pursed her lips. "I think so. But she's very skittish, our DJ."

Chloe laughed. "That's one way to put it." She bit her lip. "I like the sound of that."

Stacie nodded. "So did she." She sat up again. "How about I leave so you can text her."

Chloe grabbed her arm before she could stand. "Just… can you wait?" Her lips twisted. "If she says no, I don't… want to be alone."

"Of course." Stacie smiled. "I'll go downstairs and give you some privacy though, yeah?"

Chloe pushed up off the bed with her. "Okay." She went to her purse and dug out her phone. "Stace?" She looked over her shoulder where Stacie paused in the doorway. "Thanks."

"What're friends for?" Stacie smiled at her and left.

Chloe looked down at her phone and took a deep breath. "Okay. Time to see where this leads." She'd thought, reworded and pre-freaked out for the past week about what she would send when she got home. She'd finally settled on something simple and hopefully non-pushy.

Chloe:
Just wanted to let you know I made it home safe.

While she waited, she slowly changed into a pair of sweatpants and her phone chimed as she was pulling on an old Barden U t-shirt. Almost afraid to look, she opened up Beca's message.

Beca:
This is going to sound like a lie, but I've gotta cover one more night. I do want to talk to you, but I don't want to have to rush through it because I have to go to work.

Chloe felt her legs give way and she sat heavily on her bed as relief washed over her. She covered her mouth to stifle the sob she couldn't hold back anymore as she read and reread Beca's text.

'Jesus, get it together, Chloe. It's not like she's declared her love or anything. She just finally agreed to be in the same room with you.'

Chloe pushed down her elation and tried to not sound too eager.

Chloe:
You don't know how happy that makes me.

Chloe:
Not that we can't meet today, but that you want to at all. I hope, and I'm not pushing at all, but I really hope we… I… will see you at rehearsal tomorrow. Maybe we can talk after.

She bit her lip after she sent it. 'God, that sounds pushy. Why did I say that?' Her phone buzzed almost immediately.

Beca:
I don't know if I'm ready to deal with Aubrey yet, Chloe. But either way, after sounds good.

That was fair. There was a lot more going on than just the fight between them.

Chloe:
See you tomorrow then. Have a good shift tonight, Becs.

Beca:
Thanks. Have a good night, Chlo.

She forced herself back to her feet instead of just sitting on her bed and staring at Beca's name. "Tomorrow isn't all that far away, Beale." She sniffed again and resolutely locked her screen. "You've just spent almost two weeks without her. Twenty-four hours is nothing."

While that was true, it also felt like forever. It also felt a lot like how she viewed graduation – which was a thought she immediately pushed back into a box, locked and shoved into the back of her mind.

Blowing out a breath she forced herself to go downstairs where Stacie was waiting in the living room, flipping through one of Aubrey's fashion magazines.

"I didn't know Aubrey was into this stuff." Stacie said without looking up. "Though I suppose I shouldn't be surprised; she's always perfectly dressed."

"That's Bree alright." Chloe half laughed and Stacie looked up.

"Chlo." She set down the magazine and scooted forward like she was going to stand. "Are you crying?"

"What?" Chloe touched her face, surprised that it was wet. "Um. I guess I am." She detoured to the side table where a box of Kleenex sat.

"Did… she say she wasn't ready yet?" Stacie frowned. "I would have sworn-"

"Yes. No… I mean…" Chloe stopped and took a deep breath. "She wants to, but apparently she has to work tonight. She doesn't want to rush our talk to fit it in beforehand."

"Oh." Stacie sat back, her face smoothing. "That's great, right?"

Chloe laughed. "It's aca-mazing."

"So why the," Stacie wiggled her finger at Chloe's face. "Waterworks?"

"Relief, probably." She grabbed the box and sat down on the other half of the couch. "That I hadn't screwed up completely. At least not yet." She muttered the last as she blew her nose.

"No use in worrying about it, Chloe." Stacie pulled her leg up and shifted so she was facing Chloe. "I know my saying this is useless, because you already know this. But you'll just make yourself sick if you dwell."

Chloe groaned and leaned her head back. "It's already started."

"I figured." Stacie eyed her narrowly. "So why don't we go get lunch?" She checked her watch, "Or an early dinner, I guess."

"I don't know." Chloe put her hand on her stomach.

"When did you eat last?" Stacie asked pointedly.

Chloe sighed. "Breakfast with my parents."

"Then it's settled." She stood up and held out her hand. "I won't take no for an answer." She wiggled her fingers.

Chloe laughed and gave up. "Alright, I guess I should go change back into something other than sweats."

"Who cares? You look gorgeous." Stacie pulled her up when Chloe took her hand. "Just go put on some shoes and grab your purse."

"Yes mom." Chloe headed back toward the stairs. "Will you stay tonight again?"

"Sure, I'll text Aubrey to see if I can sleep in her room again." Stacie pulled out her phone. "I know you didn't do the laundry last time. We'll do it tonight. Maybe that'll keep you distracted."

"Maybe." Chloe started up the stairs when Stacie's voice reached her.

"And then maybe you'll tell me why you sound like a boy going through puberty."

"What?" Chloe laughed nervously, she'd been hoping Stacie didn't notice.

"I mean, don't get me wrong – it's sexy when your voice goes all raspy, but it's not a usual Chloe-voice." Stacie came into the entryway as she was putting away her phone. "Aubrey says it's okay, by the way."

"Great." Chloe started up the stairs. "I'll go get my shoes."

"Don't think I'm going to forget."

But it wasn't until they were back at the house, both of their stomachs happy and full, that Chloe finally relented and told Stacie about her surgery.

"Oh, Chloe." Stacie dropped the sheet she'd just pulled out of the laundry basket. "You doing okay?"

"Yeah." Chloe shrugged. "The doctors said I should be able to sing, but we're not sure of the range yet."

"I know I made that crack about not listening to my doctor after SBT, but… Can you really sing tomorrow?"

"They said I could try, but if I feel any pain I need to stop immediately and give it another week." She snapped the pillow case she was folding in agitation. "At least." She could see Stacie watching her out of the corner of her eye and sighed. "I promise. If I feel any twinge I'll stop."

Stacie picked up the sheet again. "I'll hold you to that." She waited until the sheet was folded and in the stack between them. "Did you tell anyone else?"

"No." Chloe sighed. "Everything was too… in the air."

"I'm sorry you went through that alone." Stacie touched her shoulder.

"I had my parents." But she reached up and squeezed Stacie's hand. "If we had made it to finals, I wouldn't have done it until the summer. But since I thought we were done, I figured I might as well."

"Makes sense." Stacie pulled another sheet and began to fold it.

"And after all the fighting… I didn't tell Aubrey because she couldn't change her plans with her parents; she'd have worried about me the whole time." Chloe offered.

"She's going to feel like crap, you know." Stacie pointed out.

"Yeah. I'll… deal with that tomorrow." Except she already planned on being out of the house when Aubrey got home; she'd decided it was better to see Aubrey for the first time at rehearsal.

"And Beca?"

"That's… more complicated." Chloe mechanically folded another sheet. "After our fight…"

"She'd have still been there." Stacie declared. "No matter how large the stick up her tiny butt."

Chloe chuckled then sobered. "Except she had the station. Her big break."

"Crap."

"Exactly." Chloe half smiled. "So either she would have blown off her chance to play her music to be with me, which would make me feel like crap, or…"

"Or she takes her shot and feels like crap because she would have felt she was blowing you off." Stacie made a face. "That's… I guess I see your point."

"I mean…" Chloe reached for another pillow case to fold it. "It would have been nice to share it, I guess? But I still kept in contact with you and some of the girls over text. So I wasn't alone."

"Except you couldn't talk to anyone about anything you were going through." Stacie grabbed the last sheet.

"I'll admit, it felt like a very long week." Chloe set the pillow case down. "After another very long week."

Stacie put her sheet on the stack and picked the whole thing up. "Let's go make some beds."

"You're good people, Stace." Chloe leaned forward and side hugged her.

"Eh." Stacie shrugged. "No one will believe you."

"Oh, I can think of a few who might." Chloe said as she picked up the pillow cases.

"Crap." Stacie said again, but she grinned. "After you."

Laughing, Chloe led the way upstairs. 'Tomorrow.' She thought as they went into the first room. 'One way or another, I get to see Beca tomorrow.'

"Stop daydreaming and start tucking, woman." Stacie threw a sheet at her.

"Oops." Chloe grabbed it and threw it back. "Bossy."

"You love it." After unfurling one of the sheets, Stacie lifted one corner of the mattress and pulled the sheet under it. "Don't even try to pretend otherwise."

"Wouldn't dream of it." Chloe tucked in her side helped unfold the top sheet.

"Good girl." Stacie stood back as Chloe finished pulling up the blanket and tucking it under the pillow cases she'd already put on.

Tomorrow was still both so close and yet so far away, but having Stacie in the house helped. At the least, she'd be able to talk Chloe down when she started climbing the walls and staring at the clock.

"Thanks." Chloe said as they moved to the next room.

"You're welcome, Chlo." Stacie squeezed her shoulder.

Chloe took a breath and vowed to try focus on nothing but laughing with Stacie for the rest of the night. They'd listened to the start of Beca's broadcast together before Chloe finally excused herself to go to sleep. It had been a long day, but she really just wanted to continue her tradition of falling asleep with Beca's voice in her ears.

She pulled the covers up over her shoulders and hugged one of her pillows as her radio played softly in the darkness.

"It's midnight here at Barden University and this is Mitchell…"

Chloe snuggled down into her pillow as Beca's voice wrapped around her.

~C~

Chloe approached the auditorium doors and took a deep breath.

She hadn't seen Aubrey since she arrived, though Aubrey had texted her that she was home. Chloe wasn't sure if the reveal she was about to do would blow up in her face, but she figured this time she needed to do it in front of the girls.

She'd avoided Aubrey because as much as Chloe had forgiven her, she had to deal with Captain Posen now and she had to stay strong and not fall back into silent habits. She was afraid that if she saw Bree that she'd fold without a fight.

She opened the door and heard the other girls cheering in excitement. Aubrey was standing in front of them, sheet music in her hands as she beamed excitedly at them.

"Okay. The a-ca-gods have looked down on us and they have given us a second chance." She began handing the paper out to them as Chloe came up behind her. She hadn't really expected Beca to be with them already, but she'd hoped she was wrong.

"Shalom!" Amy exclaimed as she took the stack from Aubrey and passed it down.

Chloe braced herself and decided to just get it over with, like ripping off a Band-Aid.

"I texted Beca." She was going to sit until she felt Aubrey stiffen beside her.

"You did what?" Aubrey stared at her in shock.

"She makes us better." She said simply.

"That's not an opinion for you to have, Chloe." Aubrey said, already firmly in Captain Posen mode.

"Why? Because it's not yours?" Chloe shook her head, the anger starting to creep in even though she wanted to be calm. "You're not always right, you know."

Aubrey handed her the sheet music. "We will win without her." She nodded and raised her brows encouragingly.

Sighing, Chloe took the paper and looked at it. "Aubrey, this is the same exact stuff we've been doing." She winced as that sounded more accusatory than she meant it. "Why did you have to print off sheet music? It's only been two weeks."

"You can't be too careful, Chloe." Aubrey smiled at her again, though it seemed a little more strained this time. "I thought a refresher couldn't hurt."

Chloe sighed. Until Beca showed up there was no reason to push on doing something different quite yet. And if Beca didn't show up… Then it wouldn't matter at all.

Aubrey herded them out of the chairs, beaming. "Okay! Let's run it through from the top, alright?"

~C~

"Okay, stop." Aubrey snapped, her hands coming up in frustration. "What is happening to us?"

They'd been practicing non-stop for an hour and while Chloe was relieved that she didn't have any pain while she was singing, she would be the first to admit that her voice was not where it needed to be. Stacie had caught her eyes several times, an eyebrow arched in question, and Chloe had to smile at the protective streak that apparently ran deep in the tall brunette.

Aubrey stepped in front of them and turned around, gesturing in frustration. "Chloe, you sound like you smoke three packs a day."

'Guess that answers the question of how noticeable the change is.' She panted slightly, trying to catch her breath and keep hold of her temper.

Aubrey turned again before Chloe could respond, both hands out. "Stacie, you are so behind on choreography." Stacie let out a deep sigh as Chloe passed between them. Despite her own annoyance, Chloe bit back a grin at Stacie's eye roll and forced patience.

But Aubrey wasn't done. "And Jessica and Ashley, it is like you haven't been here all year long!"

"Aubrey, really?" Jessica's face crumpled.

"We've literally been here the whole time." Ashley snapped.

Aubrey turned and paced away, touching her stomach briefly, as Amy stepped forward. "Aubrey, please, just give us a break." She looked around at the others. "It's kind of not the same without everyone here."

Cynthia Rose crossed her arms. "We need Beca."

"Maybe if Aubrey loosened the reins a little bit." Chloe hadn't meant to say it, or quite that snidely, at least, but she had promised herself she wouldn't stay quiet anymore.

Aubrey had crossed her arms tightly over her stomach as they'd been talking. "Okay, shut it, Chloe!" Chloe's head snapped around in shock.

"Whoa!" Stacie interjected but Chloe didn't even look at her, she was too focused on Aubrey.

Chloe's own arms had crossed protectively and all she could do was stare at Aubrey – or, she supposed, Captain Posen, because her friend Bree would never have said that to her. It was something that Alice had used to say to them and the reminder cut deeper than she could have imagined.

Aubrey looked at Stacie and sarcastically put her hand on her own chest. "Oh, I'm sorry. That was rude." She looked at Chloe with the last word and stepped forward, almost like she was going to apologize. Except her tone was anything but apologetic and grew more strident as she spoke. "Chloe, could you please get your head out of your ass? It's not a hat."

Chloe could only stare at Aubrey's glare, her mouth dropping in a gasp at the weight of it. She heard the quiet murmur around her as the other girls reacted, but Aubrey merely walked away from her to stand in front of them.

'A-ca-awkward." Amy muttered and Chloe could feel all of them staring at her, waiting to see what she would do.

Aubrey took her place and clapped her hands sharply. "Again."

Mechanically Chloe fell into place, trying to figure out how they had come to this and how to get them out of it. She kept looking toward the door, hoping that Beca would walk in and the two of them could try and talk sense into Aubrey. Except Chloe had a sinking feeling that something drastic was going to have to happen before Aubrey ever entertained anyone else's ideas.

The next two hours went by as painfully as the first and Chloe was more and more convinced that Aubrey was somehow channeling Alice. Each snap, each borderline personal attack on the others had reminded Chloe about that last year and it was everything that she and Aubrey had promised never to be.

Everything finally came to a head when Aubrey barked at her again.

"Jesus, Chloe. How is it you sound worse than you did two weeks ago?"

Chloe felt her control fray and she stepped forward into Aubrey's space. "You know who you sound like?" She didn't give Aubrey a chance to answer. "Alice." That seemed to register as Aubrey shut her mouth and her expression changed from hostile to pensive, her fingers toying with the pitch pipe she had yet to let go of. "I have been there for you for so many years… and all you do is treat me like shit!"

"All right, no, okay, just shut up!" Fat Amy threw up her hands as she yelled over the top of them. "Everyone!" Chloe and Aubrey looked over at her in surprise as she sighed. "Come on, I joined this group so I could hang out with a bunch of really cool chicks." She shrugged. "And also 'cause I was really sick of all my boyfriends and I need to get away from that."

Chloe saw Aubrey shift beside her and take a breath and restrained her own sigh as Aubrey looked at Amy in annoyance. She thought the Alice line might have done it, might have finally gotten through but now the moment was broken. She knew Amy was just trying to keep them from fighting, but maybe that was the kind of thing that Aubrey needed to hear after all. Maybe Chloe was going to have to dig deep and show Aubrey the ugly side of what she was doing.

Amy was still going and she looked from Chloe to Aubrey. "But this is some serious horseshit." Aubrey looked confused when Amy exhaled and said, "What's that smell?" She flapped her arms. "Stinks everywhere." Amy looked at the rest of them. "I don't wanna be like the old Bellas." She lifted her arm and let it slap against her side.

Aubrey merely looked at the ceiling and shook her head as Amy walked past her toward the seats where they'd left their stuff.

"Yeah," Cynthia Rose agreed. "I wanna be how we are now." She stared right at Aubrey as she said it on her way to her own bag.

Aubrey could only watch her, the pitch pipe held loosely in one fist, then looked over as Lilly came up and offered what appeared to be a silent, "Me too."

Chloe moved to join the rest of them as they began to pack up. "We should have listened to Beca." She was aware of Aubrey's mouth dropping open in shock that Chloe had actually said it out loud.

Chloe felt sick. She'd been wrong, so wrong to let Aubrey go on this long. If they left now, this way, she wasn't sure they would ever be able to come back together as a group. But she didn't know how they could continue any sort of practice after all that. She didn't even know if she wanted to and if Chloe was finally fed up, she knew the rest of them had to have stuck around only out of loyalty.

Aubrey turned to watch her. "Oh, so it's my fault?" She threw it out as a challenge.

Chloe sighed, already tired of the fighting. "That's not what I'm saying."

"No, no, no, that's what you're all thinking, isn't it?" Aubrey accused. "That I'm the jerk. I am the girl obsessed with winning."

'Guess we're not done after all.' Chloe thought as she turned to face her. "Aubrey, you're too controlling and it's gonna ruin all of us."

Aubrey pointed at herself. "You know what, I can lose control if I want to." She began to back up, her breath coming faster. "I can let go." She slapped her hands together. "This time I'm not gonna choke it down." She backed up even further.

Fascinated despite herself, Chloe watched as Aubrey gave a slight jerk and a sound was pulled from her stomach. Chloe put her hands on her hips and cocked her head, though inwardly she thought this might actually be a breakthrough. If Aubrey was willing to let go of her stranglehold on herself enough to willingly throw up – something she had tried to repress for years, and all the signs were there that it was about to happen – then maybe she'd also get rid of the anxiety and constant pressure of her own expectations. Chloe wasn't even thinking of the Bellas at that moment; she just wanted to do anything to drain the poison and every last trace of Alice out of Aubrey and have her be the real Bree again.

So Chloe put on as neutrally a sarcastic expression as she could and watched as Aubrey continued to gag, her hands braced on her knees until she finally let herself go.

And boy did she ever.

Chloe willed herself not to recoil, to keep pushing Aubrey, but the amount of puke aimed at her was truly terrifying.

What she thought was, 'Oh god, don't let me puke too.'

What she did was start nodding and clap sarcastically before spreading her arms. "Come on, bring it! You can do better than that!" She forced an incredibly condescending smile on her face while the rest of the girls ran screaming into the seats behind her.

Amy yelling "Enough! Enough!" was the only thing louder than the sound of Aubrey puking out everything she'd eaten in the last six months.

Chloe finally had to look away. That was more than even she had expected and the smell was truly horrendous. 'How the hell have we come to this?' She felt the last of her control snap as she saw Aubrey still had a grip on the pipe and her anger boiled over at the reminder that even after all that, Aubrey was still Captain Posen and unable to truly let go.

"We could have been champions!" Chloe screamed as her hands fisted at her sides. She took off around the puddle on the floor, determined to rip that symbol out of Aubrey's hands. Aubrey let out a scream and sprinted away from Chloe, except she didn't count on Amy stepping forward and grabbing her around the waist.

"Give me the pitch pipe, you bitch!" Chloe snarled as Amy slung Aubrey around in a half circle. Chloe crashed into them and tried to reach around Aubrey to rip it from her hands. "Give it to me!" Some part of her had decided that if Aubrey no longer had the pitch pipe, if someone else was in control by having it, maybe she would get her friend back and not be this drill sergeant from Hell.

She knew she had to get it away from Aubrey at any cost because she really missed just having her best friend around.

Then there was nothing but confusion as the three of them screamed in each other's faces. Chloe tried desperately to reach Bree's hands while Aubrey tried to keep the pipe away from Chloe and break free from Amy's death grip around her waist; except mostly what she ended up doing was kicking and flailing as Amy lifted her into the air.

"Give it to me!" Chloe kept repeating it, beyond anything else rational or coherent.

"Never!" Aubrey shouted back and Chloe redoubled her efforts.

She was briefly aware of another body trying to join the fight, catching a flash of Lilly's silently screaming face, but that was the same time that Chloe regressed to middle school and pulled Aubrey's hair. As Aubrey screamed in shocked surprise, Chloe also swore she heard a whistle. Amy reached up and pushed Lilly back out of the way as the three of them continued their impromptu wrestling match.

Chloe wedged her left hand under Aubrey's arm while she pulled at Aubrey's shirt with her right. She'd just gotten a grip on the pitch pipe and was trying to tug it free when Aubrey jerked her hand away and the pipe went flying. They all froze as they watched it arc forward and land on the ground and then Chloe and Aubrey were leaping through the air for it, both of them still screaming.

Her breath exploded out of her as she hit the ground, her fingers just shy of the innocuous object that had become the focus of all her anger. Aubrey's hand landed on hers a second later as they both pushed each other out of the way.

"Move, you bitches!" Amy screamed behind them and Chloe grunted again as Amy landed half on her and half on Aubrey. One of Amy's arms looped around Chloe's throat and, she dimly realized, Aubrey's because she let out another grunt as they both strained to reach the pipe.

A new voice finally intruded and it was the only one that could stop Chloe in her tracks.

"Guys, stop! What is going on!"

Her hand still reaching for the pipe, Chloe let her foot fall to the floor as she stopped pushing forward. Craning her neck she looked up and saw Beca standing by the piano, staring around her in shock.

This definitely wasn't how she'd envisioned their reunion.

Chloe looked back down in time to see Aubrey take advantage of her distraction to snag the pitch pipe from under her fingers. Chloe stared after her, incredulous, as Aubrey pushed herself from under Amy's arm. 'Seriously?'

Chloe rose to her feet, her heart heavy as Aubrey told Beca she didn't belong because this was a 'Bellas rehearsal.' It hadn't worked, none of it had worked. They'd wrecked everything, Aubrey was still Captain Posen and Beca had seen Chloe wrestling around on the floor like a crazy person.

But as she stood, she drank in the sight of Beca like a starving woman staring at a feast. She'd missed Beca from her ear spike to her boots and everything in between. It took everything she had to not run over and kiss Beca senseless or wrap her up in a hug and never get go. Or both; both sounded amazing. She wasn't sure how long they stared at each other, but apparently it was long enough that Aubrey turned to Chloe, though whatever she was going to say or do was lost when Beca began to apologize for the way things happened at the semi-finals.

"And I definitely shouldn't have left."

Even though Beca was talking to Aubrey, she felt that in particular had been directed at her.

She gauged Aubrey's reaction and felt a little hopeful that she had dropped some of her anger, though she still wasn't remotely welcoming.

"And…" Beca trailed off and Chloe saw the effort she put her next admission. "Aubrey, if you would have me, I want back in."

Chloe sucked in a breath and watched Aubrey even more carefully. The raised eyebrows spelled trouble and Chloe crossed her arms to keep from trying to physically shake sense into her. She had to let Aubrey be the one to make the decision otherwise Aubrey would only fight them all every step of the way, but Chloe wasn't sure how long she could stay silent to let her.

Beca's gaze darted to Chloe and back to Aubrey, waiting.

Then Chloe deflated. Aubrey had put on her snob face. The one she'd used in that first practice when she kicked out Mary Elise. Her heart sinking, she waited as the silence grew. As Amy shifted nervously beside her, Chloe pulled her arms tighter to her chest and stared at Aubrey. 'She's done everything you could have ever asked for. She's apologized to the group. She's apologized directly to you and is basically begging you to let her back in. Just fucking say yes.'

But Aubrey refused to look at her and only looked back up at Beca with disinterest.

Beca nodded as if she'd expected nothing less and turned away. As she passed the chair, she gave them another look and grabbed it, dragging it slowly to the door after her.

'Oh my god.' Chloe would have laughed if it wasn't all so tragic. Apparently Beca had remembered the same thing that Chloe did and was playing out the final part of Mary Elise's humiliation. Chloe felt a twinge of regret at how that went down. She knew now she should have stopped Aubrey from such a public display of what would happen if vows were broken. She should have insisted they do it privately, just like they had with Kori. But Aubrey had thought the publicity of it would drive home the point better than anything else would.

Now here was Beca, proving that she remembered – that she was willing to abide by Aubrey's rules.

"Aubrey." Amy whispered, the only one of them who had spoken so far.

Chloe watched Beca go, knowing that if Aubrey let Beca get all the way out the door, she was going to follow. She would try and patch things up with Aubrey, but Chloe was done with Captain Posen.

Beca turned around again and Chloe saw Aubrey's head drop down as she played with the pitch pipe still in her hand. She noticed Beca give a half smile as she turned toward the door and wondered what she'd seen that Chloe had missed. Beca took the step up onto the concrete that led to the door and Chloe readied herself to follow.

"Wait." Aubrey finally broke.

"Thank you." Beca dropped the chair and turned around. "That would have been embarrassing."

Chloe barely kept herself from shouting "YES" at the top of her lungs. They had a lot to work out, but the fact that Aubrey had been able to fight past her own stubborn nature was a giant step in the right direction. Chloe crossed her arms tightly again to try and remain focused; they weren't fully out of the woods yet.

Aubrey sighed and spread her arms. "Beca, I know that I have been hard on you, okay?" She gave an almost sarcastic smile and Chloe rolled her eyes. "I know that I have been hard on everyone here." She looked over Chloe.

Chloe couldn't help the slightly sarcastic tilt of her own lips as she nodded, because 'hard on everyone' wasn't quite the way she'd have put it. 'Raging tyrant' was closer, though bringing that up now wouldn't do anyone any good.

As Aubrey looked back at Beca, her face changed and Chloe couldn't read what was underneath it, but it made her worry a little. For Aubrey this time, not because of her. "But I am my father's daughter." Instantly Chloe felt her heart ache as Aubrey's breathing shook and her voice cracked. "And he always said, 'If at first you don't succeed…'"

'Oh Bree,' Chloe thought, as Aubrey fought for control over her emotions. As much as she wanted to reach out and comfort her best friend, she knew she couldn't do it now.

Aubrey took a deep breath and forced the rest of it out. "'Pack your bags.'" With that, she turned to go take a seat, her shoulders slumped in defeat.

Chloe had to look away, her own emotions a jumbled mess that she couldn't sort out. She was relieved that Aubrey seemed to be Aubrey again and that Captain Posen was nowhere in sight, for now. But she also ached for her friend and for her own part in pushing Aubrey to the breaking point, even if it was for her own good.

She met Amy's wide eyes as the Australian said "Jesus."

Chloe nodded, "It's pretty crazy." The stories she'd heard about Aubrey's dad and his focus on goals and results were legion. When she'd met him after their freshman year, she had realized most of them were likely true. While he'd been warm and welcoming to Chloe, she could also see that he was a man who expected, and demanded, results.

Beca slowly followed her over. "I get it. Um… Mine gets on me, too. Not like that, but…Um." She looked at Aubrey. "I guess we don't really know that much about each other." She looked around. "About most of you, really."

Stacie spoke up. "Well, I'll confess something that none of you know about me." She took a deep breath and Chloe wondered she could possibly be nervous about. "I have a lot of sex."

Chloe bit her lip as she tried not to laugh, though she realized she should have expected something like that. Stacie was almost as bad as Beca with her sometimes offbeat sense of humor.

"Yeah, we know Stacie." Amy rolled her eyes.

"Only 'cause I just told you." Stacie retorted.

"This is a good idea." Beca pointed at Stacie and Chloe could almost see the grin she was holding back. "That was a pretty bad example, but this is a good idea. Why don't we all go around the room and we can all say something about ourselves that nobody else knows."

Chloe followed the others as they grouped in a circle. She really only had one thing that qualified at this point and now that the time had come to reveal it, she was nervous. She was only half listening as Cynthia Rose confessed to her gambling problem, though she was shocked that something like that had slipped by her. She was usually better at reading people than that. 'Probably all out of whack because of dealing with a tightly wound Aubrey and figuring out where Beca and I stand.'

She hadn't realized that Lilly was speaking until she saw Beca's head snap around in her direction. Chloe looked up as Beca half recoiled from Lilly. "Okay." Chloe made a note to find out what that was all about later. Though as Beca took a second cautious look at Lilly, maybe she was better off not knowing.

'Okay, it's going to be your turn. Just do it quick and get it over with. It's not like they're going to shun you.' Chloe told herself.

"And my real name is Fat Patricia."

Chloe's head jerked up but her surprise faded almost immediately. It seemed a very Fat Amy thing to do to lie about her first name; mostly because half of what she did and said made no sense to a sane person anyway, so why would giving her name be any different. Then Beca's voice brought her eyes forward.

"Okay. I've never been one of those girls who had a lot of friends who were girls."

Chloe found it adorable how Beca's eyes couldn't settle on any one person as she spoke, but bounced around almost the entire time. She did lock eyes with Chloe at times, and then Aubrey, but only for a second or two before moving on.

"And I do now." She smiled awkwardly and looked at the ceiling. "And that's pretty cool." Her smile was self-conscious but her eyes refocused on Chloe while she said it. Chloe had half turned to see Aubrey's reaction and she was thrilled to see that Aubrey had actually smiled at Beca before she quickly hid it behind a look at feigned indifference. She had a feeling that Beca had just said the one thing that would make Aubrey finally begin to fully accept her as a Bella. "So, that's me. Someone else please go."

Chloe tensed and took a deep breath. "Okay." She forced herself to stand though she couldn't quite bring herself to look at Aubrey. "Over spring break, I made the courageous decision to remove my nodes." She finally turned as Aubrey's breath hissed out of her and Beca gasped. "I know."

Chloe closed her eyes and took another breath. 'Get it all over with now. No more secrets or holding back.'

She nodded slightly. "The doctor said that I can't sing…" Her voice broke and she had to force herself to continue. "Above a G-sharp… maybe ever." She realized she felt like she had let them all down and that was partially the reason that she hadn't told anyone but Stacie before now. "I thought… " She broke off with a sob. "…the season… was over."

She dropped back into her chair as she lifted her hands and let them fall again, helplessly. She looked over at Aubrey, ready to apologize but Aubrey's hand was already on her arm, her face full of nothing but concern.

Stacie touched Chloe's shoulder. "It's okay. It's okay." Chloe nodded, trying to calm her racing heart. Stacie had said the same thing the night before, when Chloe had a mini-panic attack at having to tell the rest of the group what she'd done.

Then Aubrey pushed to her feet, a look of determination on her face. "Beca."

Beca quickly rose to face her and Chloe couldn't even begin to guess what was about to happen. Then Aubrey shocked Chloe right out of her distress.

"What do we do."

Chloe froze, unable to believe what she'd just heard. 'Holy crap. Did she just ask Beca for help? Is Captain Posen really completely gone? Did I die during surgery and this is some fucked up form of Hell?'

Silent for once, Beca's eyes darted down to the pitch pipe and back up.

'What is she…' Then realization hit. 'Of course. Aubrey has the pitch pipe and Beca's not taking any chances.'

After a final hesitation that Chloe knew was Aubrey preparing herself to fully give control to someone else, Aubrey tossed the pitch pipe to Beca. The second it was out of her hands, Aubrey's posture changed. There was a subtle shift in her shoulders that spoke of relief, not defeat, and her exhale was more of peace than cold fury at being forced to hand over a piece of her armor.

Beca's hands grabbed at the air but instead of catching the pipe safely, she deflected. The entire group watched as it rolled across the floor, unable to move to stop it and unable to look away, as it finally landed in the mess across the room.

"I'm sorry," Aubrey murmured as she looked back at Beca.

Beca's hands were clutched in front of her throat as she looked back at the pipe. "Maybe not here." Then she smiled and Chloe felt like the room got brighter.

She stood and carefully watched Aubrey. Even before she saw Aubrey's face, Chloe felt her own body relaxing, responding instantly to the absence of tension she'd grown so used to in her friend. Chloe reached out and touched her arm. Aubrey looked back at her, green eyes clear and, if not exactly bright, they weren't the hostile glare she'd spent the past few hours looking into. She had been about to ask if Aubrey was okay, but the answer was perfectly obvious as Aubrey smiled at her. It was small, but it was the most genuine one they'd shared in weeks.

Instead, she pursed her lips. "If you go open all the doors, I'll go get the mop and bucket."

Aubrey winced, though her good mood didn't fade. "You don't have to do that, Chlo."

"The more of us that help, the faster we can get out of here." Ashley said as she stood.

"Uhhh…" Amy took a step sideways. "I'll just go…"

"Nope." Beca shook her head. "You're not going to get out of this one."

"But…" Amy trailed off when Beca merely arched an eyebrow. "Fine. I'll go with Chloe then. We're going to need a lot of bleach."

Chloe stepped up to Beca. She couldn't fight it any longer, but she still held herself back from the hug her body was craving. She settled for running her hand down Beca's arm. "I'm glad you came."

Midnight blue eyes met her own and Chloe wanted to drown in them. "Me too." She covered Chloe's hand with hers and squeezed. "There's so much I want to say."

"But now isn't the time." Chloe nodded. "I know."

"Soonish?" Beca half phrased it as a question, smiling again when Chloe nodded. "Good." She looked around then took a step closer. "Because I really missed your arms around me."

The obvious longing in Beca's voice made Chloe's heart leap in her chest but she kept herself still. This really wasn't the place for that, but now that it was between them, it was all she could think of.

"Guess we better clean quickly." Beca said with a wry grin then looked past her. "Amy! Don't think I don't see you creeping toward the door."

"I was going to get the… er… cleaning supplies." Amy protested.

"Closet is the other way." Beca pointed and Chloe turned around in time to see Amy grumble her way to the correct door.

"Sometimes it's like herding cats." Aubrey said suddenly from beside them. "I never found the trick of it, obviously." Chloe looked at her sharply but Aubrey remained relaxed and almost content. "Good luck with that."

"With you to help if I stumble, I'm sure I'll be fine." Beca said as she watched Amy, but Chloe could tell she was focused on Aubrey.

Aubrey straightened and gave a small, shy smile before she laughed. "You are such a suck up, Beca."

"Doesn't make it any less true." Beca shrugged. "You were right when you said I had no idea how competitions work. I'm going to need to know what to expect at Finals; I assume it's a bit different from the semi-finals."

"Alright." Aubrey nodded and Chloe could tell she was deeply touched by the gesture. "Guess we better get started so we can get out of here. I, for one, need a shower." She walked past them to one of the exits to begin the airing out process.

Chloe realized that Beca was still essentially holding her hand and she squeezed Beca's arm again.

Ashley was right. The faster they got this done the faster they could get out and freshen up before Beca showed them her ideas.

Beca let her hand slip free and turned around. "Okay, where the hell did Amy go?"

~A~

Aubrey Posen never considered herself a difficult person.

Sure, she could be driven and goal oriented, but she figured that was a natural byproduct of growing up in a military family. Her father was career military and her mother was an aristocratic matriarch who regularly entertained the city's old money families. Aubrey had two older brothers, Asher and Aiden, who were five and three years older than her, respectively, and they had both followed their father's footsteps into the military.

Growing up, she had looked up to both of them, following them around whenever they let her tag along. When Asher turned six, their father had set up a children's sized obstacle course on their property. In the beginning, he would help guide him, and later Aiden, through it with steadying hands and a gruff word of advice or praise. But as they got older, he would walk alongside with a stopwatch and urge them to go faster; Aubrey would often run by his side, cheering them on.

Aubrey couldn't wait until she turned six and got her shot at it, especially because their father kept adding to it bit by bit as the boys got taller and stronger. At first her father had tried to discourage her, as he considered it inappropriate for a young girl to crawl on the ground under a series of ropes, climb over obstacles and scale walls. But even at a young age Aubrey never really let anyone keep her from whatever she'd set her mind on.

Just before she turned seven, she convinced Aiden to let her run it once. She had been practicing in secret in the barn – mostly running and standing jumps by treating hay bales as a scratchy substitute for the miniature wooden wall – and thought she could do it. If she could finish it, no matter how long it took, he would go to their father and try to convince him to let her start 'training' with her brothers. If she couldn't finish it, she would do Aiden's chores for a week, in addition to her own.

They waited for a sunny day when their father was gone and their mother was busy entertaining in her parlor and crept outside. Asher was sitting on the steps and their guilty expressions immediately made him suspicious. After ten minutes of quiet pleading, she made the same deal with him. She had a twinge of worry, she really didn't want to do extra chores for two weeks in a row, but she knew she could do it. She'd heard every piece of advice that her father had given them and was (pretty) sure she wouldn't have any problems.

In the end, it took her forty-five very long minutes, but Aubrey completed it to her brothers' complete astonishment. She'd flopped over on her back in the grass and stared at the sky, feeling herself warm with a child's pride in themselves and in a sister's ability to surprise her beloved brothers.

True to their word, both her brothers had gone to their father the next time he was home and spent the whole afternoon convincing him to let Aubrey run it for him. Except this time the rules were a bit different – if she took longer than she had the first time, she had to let the whole thing drop. Aubrey had felt her stomach gurgle but she forced herself to ignore it while her father got out the stopwatch. Her mother protested – this was definitely not how a young lady behaved – but her father had overruled her and had led the way outside. With a few last bits of advice from her brothers, Aubrey watched her father and ran for the course at his signal.

She'd learned from her first time, able to better apply the bits and pieces of advice now that she'd run through it once and had knocked fifteen minutes off her time. Her father had pulled her into his arms and hugged her, saying how proud he was of her and she made the Posen name proud. It was one of her most cherished memories, the one she would pull down from the shelf and hold close when things got rough. It reminded her that she could do anything she put her mind to.

After that he treated her no differently than her brothers, for the most part. As she grew older she followed them into the tougher parts of the obstacle courses, gaining speed and strength until she could do them as well as they could. She had strength to her frame, could lift almost as much as them at that age, but remained slender; a fact that would annoy her for years. Until the day she first beat Aiden's time and she realized that her lack of muscle mass was actually an asset.

When she reached puberty, her mother interceded once more, having given up trying to tame her strong willed daughter until then. She insisted Aubrey spend time with her learning proper etiquette and how to behave like a young lady. Aubrey had resisted at first, but slowly her mother's enforced lessons sunk in and Aubrey learned there was a second kind of power in it. The time with her father had given her physical strength, but her mother gave her a different and more personal strength born from confidence. The two sides of her 'training' continued – she wouldn't give up the rougher stuff despite her mother's attempts to dissuade her – until she could shoot a gun as well as her brothers and mingle perfectly with any of the high society crowds that her mother entertained at the house.

She had her share of bumps at high school – boys who just wanted to get into her pants, boys that were afraid of the fact that she was more athletic than them – but for the most part her circle of friends remained drama free and she had several relationships that had ended mutually with no hard feelings.

Then her senior year a new girl, Kacey, had joined her class and Aubrey realized she might be just the tiniest bit into girls.

As the year went on that had progressed into a full-fledged certainty and Aubrey didn't know how to fit that into her vision of her future - the one that included a husband, picket fence, family pet and two children. On the surface she kept a positive face, but underneath she was a roiling mess of confusion that began to manifest in the most horrifying of ways.

The first time she'd projectile vomited, she was thankfully by herself. She'd been on their outdoor homemade shooting range and trying to use the mechanical repetitiveness – and the noise – of it to drown out her own thoughts. Except her mind kept playing back snippets of Kacey's laugh or her smile and Aubrey's confusion and denial finally erupted – directly out of her mouth and all over the ground in front of her. Once she'd recovered, she'd run to get a shovel and essentially buried her shame and hoped no one noticed that the ground looked freshly turned.

The second time it happened was a month later when Asher brought his college girlfriend home for a visit and Aubrey's first thought was that she was gorgeous. This time she had at least managed to make it to her bathroom, though she spent a great deal of time sanitizing her bathtub.

After that, any time Aubrey got stressed out, be it over schoolwork, a fight with a friend or tension with her parents, her stomach tried to expel itself from her mouth. Most days she was able to push it back with deep breathing, but sometimes it took her by surprise: After prom when she left her date holding out a hotel room keycard, a disgusting lecherous grin on his face; before taking her SATs and again before applying to various colleges despite knowing she'd scored well; after graduation when Kacey hugged her goodbye as they were both going off to different colleges.

Aubrey finally realized she had to talk to someone the summer before she started college and thankfully Aiden was home for the summer. She'd confessed everything she'd been feeling to him – her confusion, her stress and worry – and in his typical loving manner he'd reassured her that everything she was feeling was normal. He'd reminded her that she didn't have to have her entire life plan figured out before she'd even set foot on campus.

But the most important thing was that he told her he'd always love her, no matter who she brought home for Christmas.

So she'd come to Barden with as open a mind as she could and had met one Chloe Beale when they became roommates their freshman year.

Anyone with eyes could see that Chloe was gorgeous on the outside and Aubrey could admit in the furthest reaches of her mind that she found Chloe attractive. As they grew closer that year, through auditions and becoming Bellas together, that grew into a much deeper appreciation for the generous spirit that lived inside her new friend. But she never really thought on it much as the two of them quickly became inseparable and Aubrey had, for the first time, someone she could call 'best friend.'

Chloe was about the only thing that got Aubrey through three years of the Bellas with Alice as their Captain. While Aubrey had been elated to join the group, that had dimmed quickly. Alice was one of the most horrible people that Aubrey had met and she had a knack for saying the most spiteful things that landed in the perfect spot to inflict the most damage. But with Chloe there, Aubrey was able to let most of it roll off her back and she only rarely had a bout of nervous stomach and even less occurrences where she threw up from stress.

She even worked up the nerve to try and figure out once and for all how she felt about women when one of the girls in her class asked her out for coffee. Aubrey had cautiously accepted, telling herself to act no differently than she would if it had been one of the guys. She wasn't worried about Chloe's reaction as Chloe herself had been out on dates with both sexes; she'd even helped Aubrey pick out her outfit, though she insisted Aubrey could make a potato sack look amazing.

The date had been pleasant and filled with laughter, and while Aubrey realized that yes, she did indeed like women a bit more than she thought, there wasn't anything between them that made her pursue it. That was the pattern for her entire college career – casually date, never anything serious. She'd had her moments of physical distractions, but those were always with men. She'd never really found the right woman where she felt comfortable enough to let her guard down.

There was a single night their junior year where they had played Spin the Bottle with the rest of the Bellas and a few random frat boys. During Chloe's turn, the bottle had landed on Aubrey. She would later chalk it up to the alcohol, but instead of the chaste kiss on the lips that Aubrey would have expected, the two of them had fallen deeply into each other for several long minutes of teasing tongues and stolen breaths. They only pulled apart when Alice had jeered, 'I didn't know you were a dyke, Posen.' Aubrey had immediately turned bright red and left the room, hearing Chloe behind her say 'You don't always have to be so mean, you know.'

Aubrey hadn't been surprised when Chloe came in to make sure she was okay, she was just grateful that she'd managed to calm her racing hormones. Because kissing Chloe had been the first time Aubrey had really kissed a woman and it had definitely rung her bell more than she had expected. But Chloe had merely shown the concern a friend would, so Aubrey tucked her feelings away and focused on school and the Bellas. She was sure they would fade with time and she wouldn't do anything to jeopardize her friendship with Chloe.

Then they made it to the ICCA's and Alice had stepped up their practices. The pressures she put on them to not 'Fuck up my shot at going out a winner for my final year as a Bella' became almost unbearable.

Until the almost went away without warning and Aubrey threw up over everyone in front of her while she was onstage.

Chloe was there for her afterward, doing everything she could to make Aubrey feel better, but then it had ended up on YouTube and Aubrey spent the next week mostly in the bathroom. When she came back to Barden the following year, Aubrey was determined to both redeem herself from Pukegate, as that stupid podcast was calling it, and bring the Bellas back to the finals to win it.

Except they were the laughing stock of the school and not even Baloney Barb would audition for them.

"What about her?" Chloe's voice brought Aubrey out of her musings.

The woman Chloe was pointing at was pretty and had the bikini ready body that Fat Amy did not, but she also had a gigantic ear spike and more tattoos than Aubrey felt a Bella should have; at least Chloe's wrist and ankle tattoos were small and easily overlooked. She also had dark eye liner and some sort of leather cuff around one wrist, which was definitely not Bellas material.

"Oh. Oooh. I don't know. She looks a little too 'alternative' for us."

She should have known that Chloe was going to ignore her; she'd heard the hint of personal interest in just those three words. So she put on a smile and let Chloe do the talking while Aubrey looked for anything positive. She just knew Chloe was going to insist on letting her audition if the girl had any interest.

'She's pretty enough and her eyes are an interesting shade, if you can get past the heavy layer of sarcasm in them.'

"It's all from our mouths." Chloe was saying when Aubrey tuned back in.

"Yikes."

Aubrey forced herself to smile again, though inwardly she was truly wishing that Chloe would realize this girl was just humoring her. It wouldn't surprise Aubrey if numbers were exchanged, but it was obvious to her that Alt Girl wasn't interested in a ca pella at all.

"Sorry, it just… it's… pretty lame."

Aubrey couldn't hold herself back anymore. 'Who does she think she is…'

"Aca-scuse me?" Aubrey felt her lips peel back over her teeth. "Synchronized lady dancing to a Mariah Carey chart topper is not lame." She let Chloe continue her spiel until the brunette gave another snide remark and felt most of her control snap. "We played the Cobb Energy Performing Arts Center, you bitch." To her surprise, however, the shorter woman merely arched her eyebrows and looked impressed by Aubrey for reasons that she couldn't begin to fathom.

As expected, all Chloe's efforts were for nothing and they both watched the other woman walk off after offering a sincere sounding, "It was really nice to meet you guys."

She thought that'd be the end of it.

The day of auditions finally arrived and Aubrey found herself stuck in her chair when a tall brunette walked out and declared her hobbies as cuticle care and the E! Network – but the expression on her face after she said it was almost sarcastic, as if it were something she rehearsed because people expected her to say something so shallow. But Aubrey felt her breath catch and forced herself to breathe when Chloe looked over at her and her expression changed to mirth at whatever she saw on Aubrey's face. Aubrey felt the flutter of nerves in her stomach and willed them away, this was not the time and certainly not allowed just because her libido just stood up and waved for the first time in eight months.

She made it through the rest of the auditions and had just begun to gather the paperwork when Chloe started motioning someone forward from off-stage and suddenly the girl from the Activities Fair was walking nervously across the stage. She knew Chloe must have convinced her somehow, which meant that the girl probably wasn't here because she truly wanted to be.

The problem was, she had an amazing voice and Aubrey knew they had to take her. She still let Chloe work to convince her, mostly to detract herself from the fact that Stacie wasn't even eighteen yet.

'She's not a Bella, but if she gets us to finals, I can let her pretend.'

Despite Aubrey's fears on Hood Night, when she'd noticed Beca talking to Jesse, it had been fairly obvious that she and Chloe had sparks flying between them; not that they'd allowed that much space between them while dancing. The next morning Aubrey had been relieved to find she and Beca could be civil to each other – though apparently that was only outside of rehearsals as Beca challenged Aubrey's authority from day one. It had put her off balance and she'd blurted out the only thing she could think of – the Jesse/toner accusation – even though she knew it wasn't true.

That Chloe and Beca were practically meant to be was also obvious in the care that Beca took with Chloe the day she revealed her nodes. She opened doors, brought protein bars and offered Chloe water before she had any herself. Since Chloe's happiness was one of the most important things to Aubrey, she realized she'd have to alter how she interacted with Beca, at least out of rehearsal. To her surprise, it was somewhat easy. They could laugh within the group, though they were never alone with each other until Christmas. That was when Aubrey realized that she actually liked Beca.

She swore to herself that she would never share it with anyone, but seeing Beca with that garbage bag of presents had been adorable. The way Aubrey's gift had been wrapped was just icing on the cake. This was a Beca she could laugh with when she found flour on her nose. Someone she was happy to wrap presents for though she told everyone it was to save on wrapping paper. Someone she'd had the opportunity to catch under the mistletoe but didn't want it to be misunderstood, so Aubrey had hung back in the kitchen, pretending to go through the drawers looking for another dipper for the egg nog. She'd liked that Beca.

She just wasn't a Bella.

In rehearsal Beca continued to push and complain. Almost every day Aubrey's stress would spike, coming close to the breaking point, but then Chloe would gradually talk her down, recognizing the signs of impending doom.

After the riff-off Aubrey had finally grudgingly admitted that maybe she had overreacted to losing – something that was anathema to her entire family – and had apologized to the girls when they'd all settled down for the sleepover they had later that night. But what she kept to herself, because it annoyed the ever living hell out of her, was that Chloe had been right. They had never heard the entire pool break into song like that before. But admitting Chloe was right would have led to admitting Beca was right and that could never happen.

Then came the fight at Regionals and Aubrey knew that Beca had expected Aubrey to start yelling when they were all in her dorm, but Aubrey wasn't bothered by the fighting at all. She respected that dedication to a friend and was almost ready to at least listen to Beca's ideas, but then Beca had said 'Oh, my god. That sounded so queerballs. What's happening to me?' and Aubrey had known she had been right the first time.

Beca wasn't a Bella – she just wanted the spotlight and was still making fun of the one thing Aubrey held dear.

So she kept Beca at arm's length at the house and stayed in Captain mode while in rehearsal.

But then, on the bus heading to semi-finals, Aubrey felt herself silently pleading with Beca to sing with them. She thought she could feel that Beca wanted to give in but wasn't allowing herself. Aubrey knew a little bit about that and smiled encouragingly. When Beca began to sing, Aubrey was elated, feeling – for the first time – that maybe Beca was coming around.

And then everything had fallen apart.

Aubrey wasn't sure how it happened, exactly, but she knew that she had overreacted but couldn't have stopped herself even if it had crossed her mind to try.

All she knew was that Beca had cost them second place – she ignored the small voice at the back of her mind that pointed out that they probably wouldn't have beaten the Footnotes anyway – and she had to have done it purely out of spite to steal Aubrey's moment.

"I told you she wasn't a Bella."

Then came the horrible span of time where she thought that Chloe had been talking behind her back and her world had finished collapsing around her.

No chance to redeem herself at the ICCAs.

No more Bellas.

And she may have just destroyed the one relationship that mattered to her.

Aubrey really did feel horrible at being the reason that Beca had walked out on them at the ICCAs, though she still believed Beca had overstepped her bounds. Even more, she felt like the lowest scum of the earth for her part in Beca staying away from Chloe.

Her apology via text didn't feel like enough, but Aubrey didn't know how to get across how sorry she was. What stuck with her the most was the fact that Beca had been the one to insist that she and Chloe not discuss Aubrey or the Bellas. It showed a far deeper consideration for Chloe than Aubrey herself was giving because Aubrey couldn't seem to stop talking about it.

The week before she left for her parents, she'd thrown up every day. If she and Chloe had any difficulty talking – usually after Aubrey tried to relive the moment in her failed attempts to process what had happened – she found herself in the bathroom times a day though she somehow managed to hide that fact from Chloe.

Getting the call during Spring Break had been the miracle she'd been praying for. She still had a chance to redeem herself.

Seeing that everyone else was excited to be back had lifted her spirits even more. Ultimately, she'd decided to ignore the fact that Chloe had texted Beca; obviously Beca wasn't interested because she hadn't shown up.

Aubrey also ignored and buried the small part of herself that was actually disappointed that she had apparently been right about Beca. She told herself it was only for Chloe's sake that she wished otherwise.

Except Aubrey had looked at the scoresheet for the semi-finals. It was actually a bit higher than it had been at Regionals and the only thing different there had been Beca's layering of 'Bulletproof' over the rest of them.

Which means it was because of Beca she – they – had their second chance.

Aubrey hadn't told Chloe, but she'd found the performance on YouTube and it had been better than she remembered at the time. But Beca wasn't a Bella and Aubrey was going to be damned if she let the Alt Girl back in. She could just see the smug smirk and hear the unspoken 'I told you so.'

Beca hadn't shown up after Chloe's text, which meant Beca still wasn't a Bella.

~A~

'How the hell did we get to this?' Aubrey thought as she stared at Chloe. But it was quiet and at the back of her mind.

At the surface, she was saying horrible things to Chloe and the rest of the girls but couldn't seem to make herself stop.

"You know who you sound like?" Chloe looked her square in the eyes. "Alice."

Aubrey froze at the name, her fingers clenching around the cool metal of the pitch pipe, not liking how true that suddenly felt. Her mind showed her a flip-book of images where she had acted just like Alice in the way she had criticized, demeaned, demanded, yelled and even mocked in the last few hours alone. She didn't even want to think about the past few months in that light because if she did, she wasn't sure how she could ever look Chloe in the face again.

Not that Chloe was done yelling at her. "I have been there for you for so many years… and all you do is treat me like shit!" Aubrey barely held back the flinch as that one struck home.

Then Fat Amy was yelling at them to shut up. "Come on, I joined this group so I could hang out with a bunch of really cool chicks." She shrugged. "And also 'cause I was really sick of all my boyfriends and I need to get away from that." Amy looked between her and Chloe. "But this is some serious horseshit."

Aubrey looked at her in confusion and shook her head, momentarily distracted by wondering exactly how the Australian's mind worked sometimes.

"I don't wanna be like the old Bellas." Amy threw out as she walked past Aubrey to get her bag.

Taking a deep breath, Aubrey looked at the ceiling and willed herself to try and calm down. She was still severely rattled by Chloe's declaration that she was like Alice and she fought to find anything to balance her mental state. The foundation that was Chloe felt like it was crumbling and Aubrey didn't know if she would survive if it was gone.

"Yeah," Cynthia Rose followed Amy. "I wanna be how we are now."

She barely registered Lilly's nod and silent agreement before Chloe passed on the other side.

"We should have listened to Beca."

Aubrey felt cold all over as her world suddenly tilted around her but instead of apologizing, like she wanted to, she found herself yelling. "Oh, so it's my fault?"

Chloe turned around with a sigh. "That's not what I'm saying."

"No, no, no," Aubrey put her hand out. "That's what you're all thinking, isn't it?" She looked at the rest of them. "That I'm the jerk. I'm the girl obsessed with winning."

Chloe turned to face her fully. "Aubrey, you're too controlling and it's gonna ruin all of us."

Aubrey started shaking her head before Chloe was even finished. "You know what, I can lose control if I want to." She began to back up, not even sure what point she was trying to make. "I can let go! This time I'm not gonna choke it down."

Somewhere at the back of her mind was a tiny, sane, voice telling Aubrey to stop before it was too late.

The rest of them watched her with various degrees of confusion, but she backed up some more as the first rumbling started low in the pit of her stomach. A sound very much like 'hurk' came out of her mouth as she leaned forward and braced.

'What the fuck am I doing right now? What point does this even make?' But now that she was on this path, she couldn't seem to stop it.

Chloe watched her, hands on hips, every single bit about her expression saying that she didn't believe Aubrey would go through with it. Then again, Aubrey couldn't believe she was about to go through with it. But here she was, panting as the urge grew stronger until suddenly it was spewing out of her mouth. Between bouts, she heard Chloe heckling her as the rest of the girls screamed in horror and ran up into the seats.

"Come on, bring it! You can do better than that!"

Aubrey puked until she had nothing left inside her but before she had time to do more than draw a breath of air, Chloe was screaming at her.

"We could have been champions!"

Aubrey screamed reflexively and ran right as Chloe charged at her from the left. She was too busy making sure she didn't slip in her own puddle of embarrassment that she missed Amy stepping forward and grabbing her around the waist before Chloe slammed into them, screaming and trying to wrestle the pitch pipe out of Aubrey's hand.

"Give it to me!" Chloe kept yelling.

"Never!" Aubrey started to yell back but Chloe pulled her hair and then there was nothing but incoherent screaming. She thought someone else had joined the battle and while they were swiftly pushed out of the way, it was enough distraction that Chloe had managed to shove her hand under Aubrey's arm and had a grip on the pitch pipe, tugging relentlessly. Aubrey jerked her arm and the pipe went flying; when it landed she and Chloe both launched themselves at it but fell just short.

The three way wrestling match continued as Amy landed on them, her arm going tight around Aubrey's neck. She was getting ready to try and push herself up so she could elbow Amy when suddenly Beca was there, shouting at them to stop.

Chloe had noticed first, immediately going limp to look up at her; Aubrey used that moment of distraction to grab the pitch pipe. She wasn't even sure what prompted her to do it and for once she didn't find the same comfort in its weight that she had ever since Alice had given it over.

Pushing herself up, she said "Nothing" as she slid out from under Amy's arm. "Nothing." She circled around and half hopped over Chloe's feet. "This is a Bellas rehearsal." Aubrey straightened her back, as if nothing unusual had just been happening.

"I know." Beca took a step forward, cautiously like she was approaching a wild animal. "I just wanted to say that I'm sorry."

Aubrey didn't miss the way that Beca and Chloe stared at each other as Chloe stood up. She'd half turned, feeling a little more subdued at yet another reminder of the harm she had done, but then Beca's voice brought her back around as their eyes locked.

As Beca continued, Aubrey grew more and more conflicted. She could tell Beca's apology was genuine and heartfelt; it was obvious with the way she wouldn't meet Aubrey's eyes for long and the steadying breaths she was taking.

But Aubrey couldn't let herself relax; she still had an iron fist around herself that demanded the others follow her because she was Captain. It was like her two halves were starting to argue amongst themselves.

'Except Chloe is supposed to be your Co-Captain and you've basically ignored that fact all year.'

'But I have the pitch pipe.'

'Which is probably why Chloe tried to take it from me.'

"And… Aubrey," Aubrey's focus came back to the room. "If you would have me, I want back in."

'Say yes.' The rational part of her said immediately, much louder than it had been before.

'She's not a Bella.' The Captain part of her argued back.

'She wants to be! She's here, she's apologizing. She's making the effort.'

Aubrey watched as Beca grabbed the chair and began to drag it to the door. At first she was puzzled but then that first rehearsal drifted back and Aubrey was amused despite herself. Beca was obviously trying to prove that she could follow whatever rules Aubrey threw in front of her.

Beca turned to look at her but Aubrey still couldn't bring herself to speak, so she looked down.

The fear of letting go of this, of being Captain, was climbing up her back and whispering in her ear. But then she felt Chloe shift beside her and a new, greater fear started screaming louder than anything else had before.

'Chloe is going to walk out that door after her.'

The almost paralyzing panic at the thought of losing Chloe from her life drove everything else from her mind as she finally found her voice. "Wait."

Beca let the chair drop with a thump. "Thank you. That would have been embarrassing."

Aubrey drew herself up again. "Beca, I know that I've been hard on you, okay." She smiled sarcastically, but it was more toward herself for downplaying how horrible a person she'd been. "I know that I have been hard on everyone here." She looked over at Chloe, knowing she was going to have to have a much more personal talk in private just to even begin to try and apologize. She winced as Chloe's smile was as sarcastic as her own had been.

She tried to swallow her pride. "But I am my father's daughter." She felt herself begin to shake as the realization of what she'd put everyone through continued to sink in. "And he always said," her voice broke and she had to pause. "'If at first you don't succeed,'" Her breath shook and she willed herself to keep it together. "'Pack your bags.'" She let her shoulders slump as she turned away, refusing to meet anyone's eyes as she collapsed into a chair.

"I get it." Beca broke the silence. "Mine gets on me, too." Aubrey looked up from lowered lashes and met Beca's gaze. There was no hostility in it, which Aubrey felt would have been deserved, nor was there any pity, which is what Aubrey had been afraid of. "Not like that, but… Uh."

Aubrey looked over as Amy handed her a towel and smiled gratefully as she wiped away the vomit that she'd tried to ignore had run down her chin.

Beca came to a stop and watched Aubrey, considering, before she shrugged. "I guess we don't really know that much about each other." She looked around as if struck by a thought. "About most of you, really."

Aubrey watched as Beca pulled over a few chairs for herself and Lilly, but it felt almost distant. She was surprised that she hadn't felt the urge to throw up after admitting her failures, and not just because she had nothing left. She'd spent the week after they'd split apart dry heaving over the toilet long after she'd emptied everything out of her stomach. But this was different, she felt almost calm; she just couldn't figure out why.

Suddenly she heard Stacie saying, "I have a lot of sex." Aubrey couldn't help the wince at the reminder. She'd gotten to know Stacie semi-well over their study… well, not dates, exactly, but they had a standing appointment with Beca and Chloe every week and Aubrey knew there was much more to her than a great body. In addition to those nights, Stacie frequently had her books spread all across the center island of the Bella house while Aubrey made them dinner and, despite her own 'hands off' decree that she'd given herself, Aubrey found herself constantly drawn to Stacie like a moth to flame.

Chloe had been right though. Aubrey had become more and more like Alice as the year went on. As they got closer to finals, she felt she had to push harder, make them all be better, so she could redeem herself at the ICCAs.

'I have been so selfish.' Aubrey thought with sudden and deep sorrow. 'I made it about me, instead of the Bellas. It was about what I needed, not what the group needed. Sure, winning is ultimately the goal, but like Fat Amy had said… most of them probably joined to have fun with a group of women and sing together. And I was too driven to allow it."

She felt bad that even now she was ignoring them as they shared, but she'd needed the time to sort herself out. Beca's voice pulled at her suddenly and she played back the first few words to see what had caught her attention.

"Okay. I've never been one of those girls…" She met Aubrey's eyes before flicking back at Chloe. "Who had a lot of friends who were girls." She looked around at all of them before meeting Aubrey's eyes once more. "And that's pretty cool."

It was like a knot came undone and Aubrey felt all the doubt she had about Beca fall away. She knew Beca felt awkward about admitting it, but that was exactly what Aubrey had needed to hear all this time. She just wished that maybe they could have done it sooner, though she feared that she wouldn't have listened. Still, she realized she was smiling when Beca's eyes dropped to her mouth and Aubrey looked away, rolling her lips even though it was far too late to hide it.

Chloe jumped to her feet. "Okay." She took a deep breath that immediately scared Aubrey. Chloe never braced herself before saying anything. "Over spring break," She paused to swallow and Aubrey's nerves ratcheted higher. "I made the courageous decision to remove my nodes."

Aubrey let out her breath with a gasp, suddenly realizing why Chloe had sounded so off. If she hadn't been so focused on being perfect, she might have put things together. She hadn't even asked how Chloe's throat was doing when she'd heard that first rough note. 'I am the worst friend in the world and I'd deserve it if she walked away from me.'

Chloe nodded at her, responding to to the shock Aubrey knew was on her face. "I know."

Except there was no way she could understand the depths to which Aubrey felt herself plummeting, realizing that Chloe had to have made the decision before she left and had kept it from Aubrey. Beca's instant gasp meant that she hadn't been aware either and Aubrey felt her heart break at the thought of Chloe going through it alone; especially because Aubrey was the one who had torn everything down in the first place. Aubrey forced away her self-recriminations, vowing to do better, to be a better friend to Chloe than she had been lately.

"The doctor said that I can't sing above a G-sharp," her voice broke. "Maybe ever." Tears in her eyes, she practically sobbed as she looked down at Aubrey. "I thought… the season… was over." As she sat down, Aubrey immediately reached over and squeezed her arm, trying to apologize for leaving Chloe to handle this burden alone.

Stacie's soft voice reached her and she looked over to see her patting Chloe's shoulder. "It's okay. It's okay." But she said it not in shock at hearing something new, but a reassurance of comfort already given.

And instead of feeling even the tiniest shred of jealousy, Aubrey felt only relief. 'At least someone was apparently there for her.' She made a note to thank Stacie for it later.

Aubrey looked over at Beca with a growing feeling of determination. She stood up, feeling freer than she had in months.

If Chloe could risk her voice and get surgery… If Beca could admit that she's not the aloof badass that she tried to come across as… If Cynthia Rose could admit that she has a gambling problem…

The least Aubrey Posen could do was place her trust in someone who had started to earn it a long time ago, even if Aubrey was too blind to see it at the time. In Beca who was willing to apologize and place herself back under the thumb of someone who had treated her like trash all year long.

Aubrey didn't even realize she was going to stand until she was already on her feet. "Beca." Beca scrambled to stand up and face her. "What do we do?"

She was confused at first, because Beca didn't say anything. Aubrey had assumed that Beca would jump at the chance to finally share all the ideas she'd had that Aubrey had pushed away. Then she saw Beca's eyes dart down to the pitch pipe Aubrey had forgotten she held.

With only a single twinge at losing what she had felt was her anchor all year, Aubrey tossed the pitch pipe to Beca. Immediately she felt freer, lighter, and she realized that her anchor wasn't in the piece of metal arching through the air, but in the best friend sitting beside her. She knew Chloe was watching her and could almost feel her surprise as Aubrey let go. She felt a laugh bubble up from nowhere but then Beca's hands accidentally batted the pitch pipe over into the pool of vomit and the laughter died as she remembered her earlier behavior.

"I'm sorry," She looked back at Beca, wanting to say more but at a loss for words.

Beca rolled her lips together as she pointed. "Maybe not here."

Chloe stood up next to her. "If you go open all the doors, I'll get the mop and bucket." She said it gently and without recrimination.

Aubrey winced, but felt her tension fading again. "You don't have to do that, Chlo."

Ashley joined them. "The more of us that help, the faster we can get out of here."

Amy began to step away. "Uh…"

"Nope." Beca shook her head. "You're not going to get out of this one."

Even as Amy tried to argue, Beca's attention was already half on Chloe. Aubrey stepped back, trying to remain unobtrusive but needing to know that they were going to be okay. When Beca said 'Because I really missed your arms around me,' Aubrey almost walked behind them to 'trip' into Beca and push them together. At the last minute she realized that it wasn't her place to try and force it. Though, watching them, she knew that they would be fine, no matter what happened during their talk.

"Amy! Don't think I don't see you creeping toward the door." Beca suddenly yelled.

Aubrey bit back a laugh as Amy grumbled the entire way to the closet door. Clearing her throat, she said "Sometimes it's like herding cats." She licked her lips nervously though she was trying for casual. "I never found the trick of it obviously." Chloe looked at her sharply but Aubrey only smiled. "Good luck with that." She realized it sounded sarcastic, but for once she wasn't trying to be.

Beca kept watching Amy but she half turned to Aubrey. "With you to help if I stumble, I'm sure I'll be fine."

Aubrey suddenly straightened with a smile as she laughed. "You are such a suck up, Beca."

"Doesn't make it any less true." Beca shrugged as she finally looked at Aubrey. "You were right when you said I had no idea how competitions work. I'm going to need to know what to expect at Finals. I assume it's a bit different than the semi-finals."

Aubrey felt herself grow warm as happiness suffused her at the peace offering she didn't deserve. "Alright." She nodded toward the closet. "Guess we better get started so we can get out of here. I, for one, need a shower." She walked toward the closest exit door to open it and get some fresh air circulating.

Behind her she heard Beca mutter, "Okay, where the hell did Amy go."

As she propped open the door Aubrey knew there was going to be a lot of talks that had to happen. She had a lot of people to apologize to.

She wasn't worried though, they had time.