I jump in glee at thought of me and Emma having dinner together. I couldn't help the huge grin that was plastered in my face ever since I got out of her office.

Time alone. With her, with Emma.

I got to her house and it is huge.

That was when the joy drained out of my system.

I almost forgot, she's married. To Carl Howell. The Carl Howell. And it wasn't going to be a peaceful night alone with Emma. It was going to be with Carl too.

She's married to Carl.

She's married to Carl.

That sentence came running through my head. I wanted to turn back. I wasn't ready for this.

But I couldn't let Emma down. She might get mad at me. And maybe not even talk to me again. I can't have that in my conscience.

So I climb the steps to the front door and knocked. She comes out in an olive green sleeveless blouse and a skirt that fell above her knees. She looks stunning.

I do a victory dance in my head and I gave Emma the wine that I had brought from New York. Especially for her.

"Thank you Will." she pauses looking back. "Oh gosh, I'm being so rude, come in."

There was no Carl. He was not to be found in the living room.

She puts the wine in the middle of the dining table.

And to my surprise everything wasn't as clean as Emma would have liked it. I gasped and she turned to look at me weirdly.

I run to her and gather her into a hug .

"Emma! I can't believe I only noticed this now. Did you take therapy? Oh my gosh Em, you're getting better." The nickname sipped out of my mouth but I don't regret it.

She hugs me back and I feel her head on my chest.

"I've gotten a lot better." she pulls away. "But there are still a few things I like to keep in control."

I hug her again and I'm happy she doesn't resist.

"Emma, you didn't tell me Will was already here!" Carl says. Which causes me to pull away from Emma. He gives a chuckle afterwards.

"Will, long time no see." he says giving me a hand to shake. I take it and he gives me a manly hug.

"Yeah long time Carl." I try to say with the least hint of annoyance in my voice.

"Emmie, I missed you." He says proceeding to hug Emma.

Emma gives out a little giggle.

"I just saw you like ten minutes ago, how could you miss me." Emma asks smiling.

I'm sick of it. I'm sick of their sweetness towards each other. A huge part of me was so selfish and wishing that Emma had a bad marriage. So that somehow everything would be easier.

I still wouldn't give up though. I would still fight to get Emma back.

"I just want to be beside you every time I could be Em." Carl says. Emma rolls her eyes sweetly and gives him a peck on the cheek.

"Will! Come, let's proceed to the dining table."

Some part of me wished I didn't accept Emma's request at coming.

We were sitting in their couch, drinking wine. Emma was next to Carl.

And I was jealous. So jealous. I don't mean to sound bad but I hate seeing Emma happy with him. Every time she smiles at him I feel like I failed, I feel like she really has left me for someone else.

"Tomorrow is your last day, right Em?" Carl asks Emma. And I want to punch him for using that nickname that I created.

"Yeah." she smiles at me. "So Will, are you permanently staying in Lima?"

I nod. Well that was my plan.

"I'm going to re apply to McKinley next school year." I answer.

"Oh." Carl says and his phone buzzes.

It's an alarm.

"Em, I have to go." and it was only then when I saw the suitcases beside the couch.

"Why too early? It's only a six hour drive." She whines.

"The earlier I get there, the earlier I get home. I'll see you in a few days Em." he pauses. "Will, it was great catching up."

I give him a smile. He's leaving, I'm getting my alone time with MY Em.

He leaves.

Emma and I sit in silence.

"I missed you Emma." that was one of the few honest things I've said today.

"I did too."

"You know sometimes I regret leaving here." Cause if I didn't then maybe you wouldn't be with Carl.

"Everything wouldn't be this way if you didn't" she says.

"Like what things?"

"Me and Carl." She says shyly.

"Oh."

Silence.

I hate it, how we fall into this deafening silence all the time.

"I don't mean to intrude but how?" I say breaking the silence.

"How what?"

"Did you and Carl get back together."

She clears her throat. "It was four months after you left Will."

I could barely think about anything but you Emma, and you fall for Carl?

"I'm gonna be honest with you Will. I was heart broken when you left." she swallows. "After you told me you'd be there for me when you found out about my annulment, after you held my hand as the kids sang "Born This Way." I thought you still had feelings for me. And that we were only taking it slow. I thought we were trying to work us out." she wasn't crying. Why would she? She loves Carl and I'm sure she's happy I left.

"Em, why didn't you tell me." I loved you too. I still do.

"There was no use Will. You were going to New York." she say. She bites her lip afterwards. "Anyway four months after you left I went to the dentist for my annual check-up, not expecting Carl to be my dentist."

"But you said he moved."

"Yeah he came back, I didn't know why either. but anyway at the end of the appointment I was sobbing into his shoulder. I missed you so much Will. You were my best friend. And when you were gone I didn't have that support system anymore. And I had my OCD and everything. And Carl was the least person I expected to help me. But he did."

"You could have called me."

"Will, if I called you, you would be on the soonest flight possible. And I didn't want to ruin your dream. Your a great man Will, and you deserved for your dream to come true."

I nod. She was right. I couldn't tell her that I would have left New York for her now. She loves Carl, and if she feels threatened that I would ruin what they have, who knows what would happen. She might stay away from me completely, and I couldn't have that.

"A few months later, I started to move on I realized that I have to focus what I have, not something I could never have." Gosh Emma, I love you. You could have just tole me. You could be a Mrs. Schuester, not a Mrs. Howell.

"It was hard at first. But Carl just made everything better." God Emma, why do you adore him so much.

"We didn't rush everything. He asked me out on a date six months after I cried my heart out to him. And he proposed a year after that. And twelve months later I was a Mrs. Howell, happier than I could have ever thought possible for someone like me."

"You don't regret going through everything?"

"Of course not, if we had rushed everything who knows what would be of our marriage."

"I don't wanna be rude but how did you love him again Emma? You got annulled." I prayed she wouldn't get mad at me.

"It was easy Will. When I decided that it wasn't mine or his fault that our first marriage didn't work out. It was my OCD."

But that would never be an obstacle. We'd work it out together. Your OCD is part of you Emma, and I love that part of you, I love every part of you.

"It's getting late Emma. You have work tomorrow."

"Yeah, I guess."

"I better be going now."

"I'll see you when I see you?"

"Emma, can I have your number?"

I'm not going to make the same mistake again, I'm not gonna ruin them, but once Emma starts leaning back to me or if Carl does something stupid, which I hope he does, I won't have to think twice to take her back.

"Okay." she smiles and gives me her calling card.

We walk to the front door and I was surprised when she gave me a hug.

"You're still my best friend Will. I'm happy you're back." she says hugging me even tighter. And I almost slid a tear or two when she said the next sentence "I missed you a lot."

"You were never replaced as my best friend Em."

You will forgive me about Emma drooling over Carl too much. Maybe not in the next chapter but sooner or later.