What was that... A flash? Followed by another flash... And another... Followed by voices, Al frowned; what was going on? Where was he? He looked around, faces melted and warped together - as if in a Francais Bacon painting. He tried to tune in to the voices, but they were all disorientated and didn't make sense; but he knew they were growing louder and louder until they were screaming at him. He winced and covered his ears, squeezing his eyes shut to shield his eyes from the blinding lights. He felt for her, only to come back empty - where had she gone? He needed her, he didn't want to push her anyway anymore; he just wanted her back. He didn't want to be this monster, this horrible monst-
Al woke up with a startle, he wiped his face - the palm of his hand and his face wet. He frowned with confusion as a figure loomed over him, he squinted to see the figure more clearly and saw it was a displeased looking Rae, "Rae, what are y'-" "Get up", She snapped, he now noted the empty glass in her hand - the answer to why his face and hair were soaking wet. He cocked an eyebrow, now more awake, "Y' wha'?" She scoffed, slamming down the glass onto the coffee table before turning back to him with her arms folded, "I said, get up", Realising she was in no mood for messing round, he huffed as he sat up.
He swung his legs round and hunched as he rested his elbows upon his knees, rubbing his face; trying to wake up, "When did y' go 'ome?" He asked, grabbing his box of cigarettes and taking one out and his morning voice gravely, "'Bout an hour ago", She sighed, in which he nodded as he lit his cigarette before chucking the lighter and box back onto the table. He took a drag of his cigarette and croaked, "Fair enough", Through an exhale, there was a pause before Rae asked, "An' wha' time did y' get in?" "Does it matter?" He snapped, huffing but not looking at her. She scowled, "I were just asking", He scoffed before he asked, "Did y' stay in Finn's last night?" Even the mention of his name was enough to infuriate Rae, she snapped back, "Does it matter?" Her tone mocking his, he looked at her in disbelief before asking, "D'y' always 'ave t' be so fuckin' childish?" "Oh! Says the one who started it", "'Ang on, who the fuck started it the other night!?" He snarled, turning to her before the pair broke out into an argument.
The pair fell into a long and tense silence, Rae grew wrapped into thoughts of guilt and Finn. Soon, her guilt turned into anger; anger of how Finn so easily could drop Rae for Chloe but he expected her to wait for him - like a little lap dog. She frowned inwardly, when had things become so shit between her and Al? When had all these arguments started? Sure, they had their disagreements but they were always resolved with talking and foreplay - where had their happiness gone?
Rae scoffed and shook her head, "Right, this 'as got t' stop", He frowned and looked at her, "Wha' y' on about?" "Me an' y', all this arguin' an' bullshit. It's got t' stop, now, Al. Ok? Cause I'm sick of just everythin' bein' so... Fucked up, y'know? Cause I just... " She sighed, unable to find the words as she picked at her nails; insecurity in her eyes as she continued, "I love y', I love y' t' death and I don't wanna lose y'. As cringey as it sounds", The last few words spoke in a jokingly manner, in which the pair shared a small smile. There was a long silence and Al's smile faltered as he took another drag, sighing as he exhaled before asking with a frown, "Rae ca... Can we start over? Like, forget tha' argument 'appened and go back to 'ow we used t' be?" "Only if we can have a Disney-a-thon", She playfully quipped, her infamous 'Rae smile' Upon her lips; which he returned and gave her a nod, "Deal".
It had been twelve days since Rae and Al had made up and sixteen days - sixteen long and torturous days - since Rae and Finn had stopped speaking, it was a very bittersweet time for everyone. Rae and Al were closer than ever, Al smug with the fact Rae couldn't stand Finn and had her all to himself. Chloe and Finn were ok, but Finn was mardier than ever - almost making it impossible for Chloe to be happy and get more than a word out of him; it were as if he was on a constant man period and whenever Finn and Rae would get into a tiff, poor Chloe would get the back lash. But it wasn't just Chloe that Finn was becoming an arse too; not even Chop could stand to be around him - and it took a lot to wind Chop up. After the first four or so days, Chop could hack it but when Finn snarked Izzy; Chop lost it and point blank refused to have anything to do with Finn; that is, until Finn apologised or until the camping trip, even. When it reached eleven days and everybody realised Finn wasn't snapping out of it, even Al realised he needed to intervine, the gang - excluding Finn - begged Rae to patch things up with Finn but Rae being Rae dug her heels in and it even gotten to the point of where the gang couldn't spend longer than an hour out together as either Finn or Rae would eventually storm off and it would spoil the whole night. Rae's thoughts were becoming more jumbled and weird, her urges begged for her attention and her want for Finn was stronger than ever. Every time the gang were out, Finn would try with Rae but always came back disheartened as Rae wouldn't have it or his efforts would come across as knobish and sarcastic. Around day fifteen, Rae had completely isolated herself, Kester being her only form of comfort and company; not even Al could fill the gap of loneliness for her, even in college Rae had moved tables in class, ate lunch on her own and as soon as she came home, she would lock herself in her room. But what killed Rae, was the thought of Finn being better off without her - sending her into a darker spin as Finn gave off the impression he was so over the moon happy without her; when little did she realise; he ached for her just as much. The pair despised themselves for being so stubborn, but Rae thought Finn was in the wrong and should apologise for saying what he said and Finn thought Rae was in the wrong for kicking off the argument and she was the one who should've apologised - causing a permenant wall of hatred between the pair. Al, Johnny, Archie, Chop, Izzy and Chloe realised they needed to do something and soon, even if it were as extreme as forcing them to drive up in a car together on the camping trip.
It was Friday and Rae's final session with Kester, as they sat in their regular room and their regular places; Rae looked out the window and thought everything over with her diary clutched to her chest - a sense of de ja vu overcoming the two from when they first met. Over the past hour, they'd spent talking about everything that had gone on - but Rae never told Kester about why she had a bandage; just gave him the story that she gave everybody else. She had, however, told him about the bathtub scenario and Kester didn't judge once; even jokingly quipped a "Good on you". She now realised how far she had come, how far she had improved; sure, that night recently was just a little bump in the road but that was nothing. She could over come it, over come this with Finn but she needed Kester to do that. She needed Kester to help her. Rae had met her new therapist, his name was Brian, aged 24, jet black hair, tanned skin but Rae didn't feel that connection like she did with Kester - Brian had just come out of uni and didn't know jack shit, not like Kester. She thought over the past two years with a frown, she thought over the advice Kester had gave her, the tantrums and rants she had, had to him, the laughs they shared and the secrets she revealed. It was an odd feeling Kester gave her, as if he had completely unpicked and unravled her ball of hatred, self-loathing and sadness - as if she were naked and exposed before him. He had done a lot of work on her, and they had done a lot of work together. The thought of Rae having to have somebody new come in and pry in on her secrets terrified Rae, made her want to curl up. Kester was like a father to Rae, she knew this day was going to come but she couldn't help but grow attatched to "Ol' baldy" As she liked to call him. Kester was not only her therapist but her companion, her best friend, her other half - the older Finn to her.
"So, 'ow you feelin' about gettin' a new therapist?" Kester asked, exhaling some of his cigarette. Rae shrugged, "Guess I'm alright, gonna be different but gonna 'ave t' deal with it", He gave a sigh before saying, "Y'know y' gonna be alright, Brian's a good lad. Well, not as good as me, mind", He jokingly quipped and the pair shared a laugh, Kester then noted the time on the clock on the wall, "Ooh, shit. It's comin' up to ten, y' best get goin' as you don't wanna be late", The pair then rose to their feet, Rae picked up her back pack and shrugged it on; swallowing her sadness. He drank her in and gave her a small smile, "Well, Rae, it's been a journey and a 'alf but we got there. Now, remember wha' I told you, people can either accept you for who y' are or they can-" "Fuck off?" She cut him off, half smiling. In which he gave a smile, "Exactly, now, c'mere", He said with open arms. She moved round and fell into his embrace, the pair wrapping their arms around each other before they pulled away, Kester then jokingly swatted his hand at her as his eyes filled, "Now, piss off as everyone will be waiting for y'", She giggled and went to walk out when he called out, "Oh! And Rae!" She turned as he continued, "Good luck", Her vision was blurred but she managed to give a small smile and sniff, "Y' too", and with that, the pair departed; that chapter in their lives officially finished.
On the way to the parking lot garages, Rae let the tears fall; wiping them away with the corner of her sleeves. She let out a sniff as she felt her heart waver within her chest, it was over. All her sessions with Kester were officially finished, just like that. Not wanting to get more wrapped up in her sadness, she looked at the positives... Which was a pretty hard thing to do. So, she shrugged on her backpack even further up her shoulder and trudged on; making her way to the garages - where three cars were parked up and the gang (excluding Chloe and Al) were around them.
Finn was putting stuff in the boot of his car, chatting to Archie. Johnny was leaning against the bonnet of one car, whilst Izzy and Chop were bickering about something at the boot of Chop's car before Chop slammed the boot shut and stormed over to the front of his car - Izzy in tow. Johnny clocked Rae as she approached, "Alright, Raemundo!" He chucked her a beer from the cooler on the floor before frowning, "Where's Al?" Finn, who had now come round from the boot and was looking through his car, glanced up and caught Rae's eye; before turning back to his search. Everyone else landed their gaze on Rae, who frowned, "Didn't he ring y'?" Off Johnny's look, she continued, "Oh, well he's not comin'. Got a funeral", Johnny then nodded, "Fair enough", Rae opened her beer and took a swig before Archie came over and asked in low tones, "Rae, y' alright? Y' look like y've been cryin'" She nodded, "Yep, just been for me last session with Kester, so..." Archie nodded, taking a swig of his own beer, "Fair enough", He gave her a one armed squeeze, the two feeling uncomfortable under the feel of a pair of eyes burning into them, "We'll talk later", He then moved over to Chop and began discussing something.
Rae then moved over to Johnny and leaned against the bonnet, the two wrapped up into conversation. Chop then piped up, "Well 'ere since Chloe's not comin' Rae and Finn can drive up together", Rae and Finn then shot over to in front of Archie, Chop and Izzy; protesting. Archie rolled his eyes, "Oh, will the pair of y's give it a rest. Look, Rae y' and Finn are goin' in Finn's car. End of", Rae and Finn then spoke in sync, "No fuckin' way", Before glaring at each other and then Chop, before shouting in sync once more, "Chop!?" As if he was going to bail them out, Chop then said, "Well maybe Iz could go wi-" Before Izzy cut him off with a clip on the back of the head. Whilst rubbing his head, Chop gave Rae and Finn an innocent look, "Sorry", Rae and Finn gave out a frustrated cry at Chop before each other before Rae stormed off over to Johnny and Finn to his car - in which Izzy and Archie gave Chop a look in which he responded with a "Wha'?" Izzy and Archie gave each other a look before smacking Chop over the head in sync. They were going to need a miracle to get through this.
And beer, lots and lots of beer.