OMG you guys i fell off a cliff and died! Well at least my computer did (I honestly can not keep a working computer and/or an internet connection for the life of me) And i know what you're saying, "There's this awesome place called the library where they let you use the computers for free", and i thought of that I really did but when I got there they said, "Yo you can't use our computers you've got crazy fines man" and I said, "Dude, I don't check out the books. I sit in here every weekend for like a dozen hours so I have actual quiet to read them" (I will hide books so they don't get checked out before I'm done) Then they said, "Uh huh sure, Just pay the fines or return the books." And that's when I found out via a list of Clifford and the such that my little sister is a library card thief. Long story short my account is still suspended. And you really find out who your friends are when you ask to borrow a computer lol
Anyway feel free not to read that rant and enjoy some Neliot instead!
Chapter Sixty-Five
It had been a long week. Eliot becoming more alert with every hour that passed.
Three days after trying to speak to Nate for the first time he actually spoke words that were understandable though fever induced.
He swore, 's no' safe' repeatedly as he shook in cold sweats. It took two days to break that fever, two days of Nate listening to silent pleas and pain filled screams, two days to chase away a lifetime of monstrous memories. To say the least they hadn't been completely successful for here they sat through yet another.
"It's alright Eliot," Sarah swore with a nearly solid voice. "You're okay"
"This is him being tortured?" Aaron half questioned half guessed. His brothers' unconscious declaration of, "It hurts" still ringing loudly through his ears.
"It'd probably be for the best if you two left." Nate finally got enough sense about him to say. "He wouldn't want you seeing him like this."
"Are you kidding me?" Sarah spoke in disbelief. "I'm not going anywhere!"
"Sarah!" Nate moved with just enough speed to catch her hand before it landed on Eliot's. "Don't touch him."
"Why?" She looked to her brother who was pretty close to thrashing on his bed.
"Because he's obviously freakin' out." Aaron used a touch of sarcasm to distance himself from the situation.
"Wherever he is right now isn't a safe place Sarah. If he feels threatened he might lash out and..." He had voted against them but if things got much worse he'd go against his own word and find Eliot a sedative. "... and he'd never forgive himself if he did that to you."
"But he's done it to you hasn't he?" Aaron couldn't help but put voice to what he saw in Nate's eyes.
"He just needs time to remember where he is." Nate purposely avoided the question.
"He's actually hurt you before?" Her question had Nate dropping her hand as he put distance between them.
"Don't" Nate shook his head in exhaustion. "Don't put that label on him; not you two... don't do that to him."
"Nate" Aaron tried for a point but Nate actually saying, "Please" had him relenting. "Alright" After all he was more than old enough to take care of himself. "We'll drop it." Sarah didn't confirm that but she didn't deny it either which seemed to matter more somehow.
"Do you think that there's even a one of them that actually makes it back home once they've been over there?" Sarah questioned somberly as she kept pain filled eyes on her big brother.
"Not with every part still intact." Aaron couldn't find it in himself to lie to her.
Nate didn't even bother to remind them that this was something to remember and be grateful for.
He was too busy watching the slight shift that Eliot had made. It was nothing major but he seemed a little more collected; like he'd found a tiny bit of control.
"nnn" It was the slightest of sounds. "nnn" It was filled with a little bit of fear. "no" His head shook slightly with that protest as his eyes clenched tightly. "noo"
"What the hell did they do to him?" Aaron hid his own fear with anger, the desperation in Eliot's voice tearing at his heart.
"El" Nate ignored Aaron's question as he stooped by the side of the bed. He doubted if Aaron realized how open his words were. "Eliot, you with me?"
"nnooo" His voice was becoming more disbelieving; desperation becoming clear.
"Nate he can't keep on like this." Sarah almost pleaded for something she hadn't even asked.
"Eliot, come on" He ignored Sarah's words; he refused to get Eliot knocked out when it seemed like he was finally making progress. "You're safe here."
"no, no,no,no,no,no..." They watched helplessly as Eliot's fists clenched, his face contorting in what could be nothing less than pure pain. "NO!" The anguish that suddenly ripped from his throat was paralyzing, the agony in that scream absolutely terrifying.
"Eliot?" Nate barely managed to find enough voice to call out.
He was looking into clearly petrified eyes that were finally looking back, "Are you alright?"
"They" Eliot was trying so desperately to sit up that he nearly jumped when Sarah pushed the button to adjust the bed. The only thing more jittery and shaking then him was his words.
"Eliot" Nate didn't know what to do, not about the situation or the unwanted people in it.
"They... They..." His breathing was rough and ragged, his words coming out in choked sobs. "They killed her Nate." Eliot spoke to him with eyes so big and watery that it nearly broke his heart, the next words doing just that. "My baby's dead!"
"I know" Nate's voice caught at the end of that word. "I know El... I know"
"I'm sorry" Eliot's repeated apology was so raw and hurt that it was barely audible. "I'm so sorry"
"Shh" Nate had to clench his eyes tightly to keep himself in control as he leaned to whisper in Eliot's ear. "She knows Eliot, she knows but you're okay now, you're both okay."
Eliot shook his head violently in denial as he swore, "It was my fault."
"No El..." Had he known Eliot had gone back there he would've intervened long ago. "Don't think like that."
"I didn't help her." Eliot was too lost in the past to get an even remote grip on the present.
"We'll get her some help okay?" Nate shared a look with Aaron that said he was clearly speaking for all of them. "I promise we'll get some help." It killed him to leave Eliot but he was beyond listening, too busy declaring that it was too late.
"Nate" Sarah questioned the second Nate pulled the door to her brother's room closed; she didn't have even half a mind to bother with wiping away the tears that continued to fall freely.
"Don't" Nate shook his head even as Aaron cleared his throat to talk. "I know you want to but don't." Sarah opened her mouth to speak but he once more interrupted. "I know you're thinking that if you have the answers, that if you understand you'll be able to help him, but it's not that easy." He was unfortunate enough to say he had experience. "So I'm begging you," and for Eliot's sake he quite literally would. "Please don't ever ask him about that." Aaron's eyes were burning red with the request though he nodded his head in agreement. Sarah simply stared, tears falling anew as she watched a wayward one escape down Nate's face, his voice cracking horribly as he pleaded, "Not ever"
With a fierce sniffle Aaron all but pulled himself together; clenching a firm hand to Nate's shoulder in the hopes of keeping him from falling apart as he swore, "We won't"
-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-
"Knock, Knock" Sophie called as she entered. "Anyone home?"
"In the kitchen!" She heard faintly; most of her attention was on the mess.
The house seemed to have been painted with fur, not to mention the smell of old food.
"Hey Sophie!" Hardison greeted with a touch of embarrassment as he pulled her into the kitchen and away from the crayon portrait on the wall.
"Hardison do I..." Her voice turned to absolute disbelief as she stared at the table covered in dirty dishes. "What? Did you... Care to explain?"
"We've been babysitting." Parker's voice came from absolutely nowhere as she all but appeared with a small bucket in hand.
"Yeah Sophie" Hardison more defended than explained. "Do you know how hard it is to balance kids, school, homework, dinner, and chores?" He questioned as he placed the bucket (Newly retrieved from Parker) under the faucet. "I don't know 'bout ya'll but I'm just one man."
"Well duh" Parker rolled her eyes. "You can't be two."
Ignoring Hardison's whining and Parker's... well Parkerness Sophie asked, "Why have you been babysitting?"
"Because a hospital ain't no place for kids Sophie." And for some reason Parker only reserved the naw duh's for him.
"So you've been watching Sarah's kids." Understanding settled as she took another look around. Though it was probably safe to say there wasn't much watching going on.
"We've had them every day since Eliot started waking." Parker sounded pleased with that.
"And we've got about two and a half hours before we've got to go pick them up again." Hardison, not so pleased.
"Well these certainly aren't conditions to be bringing them back to."
"Duh" That slight sound from Parker had him grinning as he added, "Hence the cleaning." Parker pouring some bleach into his bucket as she asked, "You want to help?"
"I'd love to" Their gleaming eyes quickly had her adding, "But I've got to get going soon or else I'll miss him."
"No you won't, he's not being transferred until tomorrow. Hardison and I are going to go visit ourselves after Sarah gets the kids." Parker explained as she began placing dishes into the sink; ever growing bubbles starting up her tedious task.
"Transferred?" She'd missed a few nights' work sure but surely she hadn't missed that much.
"Yeah, they're switching him over to a center for the next few weeks." Hardison clarified as he struggled with his newly found mop. "So ya see, you've got plenty of time to vacuum the living room."
"As tempting of an offer as that is," Just the thought of all that fur had her brushing off her dress. "I wasn't referring to Eliot."
That had Hardison stopping his mop mid stride as Parker asked, "Than who?"
"If you must know," And the looks they were sending said so. "I'm meeting Stan at the airport."
"I thought he dumped you?" Parker stated bluntly as she gestured wildly with one very wet sponge.
"I wasn't dumped Parker, we just... he just..."
"Wants you back now." You could even hear his eyes roll.
"Perhaps you could suggest something along those lines."
"Well, good luck with that." He wasn't even gonna share his opinion on that one. Nope, all he was doing was moping the floor and maybe, just maybe he'd be there to sweep up some of the dirt if things got messy again.
"As to you" Sophie nodded as Parker waved a bubbly goodbye.
"You can say that again" Hardison huffed, Sophie doing just that as she left the room with a laugh.
"And boy do we need it." Parker blew some stray hair away from her face, thinking how nice it would be to have something a little stronger than luck.
-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-
"Ashlee!" Aaron called as he placed his keys on the entry way table. "Ashlee, you home!"
He knew she wasn't but he just had to make sure, no matter how irrational it was.
The drive home had been a long one; the radio serving as background noise instead of the distraction it was intended to be. His mind was just too full of pain, of fear, and most of all sorrow. His feet were heavy as he made his way to the shower. With any luck he could rid himself of some discomfort, bring back a sense of calm, maybe a little peace of mind, but mostly he was just hoping to shed the stickiness on his face. But perhaps if he was really lucky, in the process he could unload the weight of his brother's pain.
-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-
"So what we gonna do with the rest of the night mama?" Hardison questioned as Parker closed her door and he fastened his seat belt. They had just finished their visit with Eliot and to say it had been anything other than awkward would be an understatement.
"Whatever?" Parker shrugged without care.
"Uh oh" Hardison sighed as he asked, "What's wrong?"
"They're being weird again." She stated simply.
"They are not Parker." Hardison attempted to assure.
"Well then obviously we weren't sitting in the same room because yes they are." Parker swore.
"How so?" He'd bite.
"I don't know they're just" She pulled the visor down in frustration though she was soon pushing it up again. "Being weird!"
"So maybe they're being weird," Hardison relented. "But that doesn't mean that something's wrong."
"Because people are always weird for no reason." Parker nodded her head in mock understanding.
"Mama El can't even get up and stand on his own two feet right now. His mind's a mess and who knows what's going through Nate's after everything he's been through. Off is good because if they were acting normal right now I'd be the first one trying to get their heads checked."
"So we want them to be weird?" She was confused.
"Right now yeah we want them to be weird," Hardison confirmed. "But in like two months people better be back to growling and barking and bossing and punching or I'm gonna have to go get myself checked in somewhere." Parker threw her head back in laughter as Hardison declared, "Lets go get some pizza."
"Supreme!" Parker demanded.
"We'll see what they've got." With any luck he could avoid spending the night picking second rate mushrooms off his dinner.
"OOO BACON!" He smirked at her enthusiasm, now that he could deal with.
-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-
With a sigh Nate leaned back into the padding of his chair.
They had brought him a pull-out a few nights ago but he was beyond the point of using it.
In fact he was beyond the point of many things and at the moment with how overwhelmed he felt, caring was at the top of the list.
He was glad Eliot had fallen asleep some time ago because right now he knew he wouldn't be able to handle being stared at as well as assessed. Yet that was all Eliot seemed to do, he didn't speak more than a few syllables here and there and that was only when directly spoken to. He didn't seem connected with... well with him and,... and he needed to stop thinking such thoughts. There was nothing wrong with him that some happy thoughts and a good nights rest wouldn't cure.
Still he knew, it wouldn't be as simple as that.
With a groan and a stretch he stood from his chair moving to the corner to kick off his shoes; though within the last few weeks he had slept more with them on than off. That wasn't saying much though once you calculated how much time he'd actually slept. He shook his head to rid the thought as he walked over to where Sarah had been seated earlier that day.
The bible she had been reading from was still tucked in the chairs' cushion but in one swift motion he was pulling it out.
It had been an eternity since he had fingered through one of them and though he had no plans of doing so now he still took a moment to caress the cover before placing it back in the side tables drawer; there were many, many memories tucked between those words within.
Next in line was the lights; as per usual two were shut off and one was completely dimmed.
Only after that he didn't continue with the routine, the T.V wasn't flipped on, a book wasn't sought after, and he didn't pull out any cards to play.
He simply reclaimed his seat and resumed his thoughts. Tomorrow they'd be transferring Eliot to Village Springs and he'd yet to even tell him. For the next few weeks he'd be in the care of what many considered a home and he didn't even have a heads up. Eliot was just going to be thrown in because why? Because plain and simply put he was a coward. A lousy, no good, stinking coward.
But it wasn't like he hadn't tried telling him, he just hadn't succeeded in getting the words out. They would have been easy enough, 'Eliot, in a couple of days they're going to be moving you to a place to start your recovery' or 'Eliot, we'll be moving you to Valley Springs for treatment pretty soon' but they just wouldn't come out. No matter how he started to phrase it he just couldn't finish because to him it all sounded like, "Eliot I'm sending you away." He was sending him away and he didn't even have the guts to tell him about it. He didn't have the courage to sit through the outcome; not when his mind supplied him with flashbacks of Eliot all but begging to be let out of this very hospital. Even worse though he was a hypocrite.
As if it was yesterday he remembered his struggles in rehab and though it wasn't the same circumstance it was basically the same situation. He didn't need confirmation, he knew Eliot well enough to know that just like he had been, he was forcing Eliot between a rock and a hard place.
With another sigh he blew out a long breath. "I'm sorry" and if there wasn't a dozen and ten ways to finish that statement.
"Eliot I," He dropped his head in his hands in the hopes that it would somehow keep his thoughts straight. "I'm sorry" He didn't know what else to say.
All he knew was that was how he felt. "I" He found himself pulling on his hair as he glared at the floor; the pain of his grip causing him to sniffle.
"Don't cry" Such an idea hadn't even crossed his mind but the voice that had suggested such a thing suddenly had him wondering about it.
It was so soft and worried, almost childlike and it broke his heart. It was Eliot's, only it wasn't. Eliot's voice was solid and strong, heck he was solid and strong not baited with worry. Yet the fingers he felt trying to coax his attention spoke of anything but strength. That's why he couldn't look up, not at him, not while he was like this. If anything Eliot would be telling him to suck it up, heck he should be telling him to be a man, but instead he was asking him not to cry. It just wasn't right.
But still those fingers persisted, reminding him of just how wrong things had been for a long time now. It scared him to even think they might never be right again, but even so that wasn't Eliot's fault and with that thought in mind he detangled his fingers from his hair, freeing his hand to be captured by one that was long seeking. All it took was one squeeze to have him glancing up and with one look... "Damn you Eliot" the tears came.
E/N: Awwww :'(
Oh the feels, I've got me some serious sniffles going on right now.
Let me know if you do too. Loves to all!