Chapter Sixty-Six
"So Spencer," sitting quietly in a wheel chair across the way Eliot could be seen glaring. "A little birdy's been telling me you've been giving away lunch and skipping dinner."
"And.. Wh.. what's it to you?" Though his speech was nearly perfect, (well as perfect as you could get southern slang) it still held the occasional stutter and even a sometimes slur which beyond pissed him off.
"My career for starters." The man, Gideon Pilaccio, (better known around these parts as 'Good Ol' Pinocchio') smiled. "It won't be good for business if they find out the guests are starving." He continued though as he saw his sense of humor hadn't been appreciated, "Secondly, believe it or not I care about you Spencer. I want to see that healthy and happy man that I know is inside."
"You're looking at him." Eliot all but rolled his eyes at the false empathy coming across the desk; it was just about the biggest load he'd heard all week.
As if he hadn't heard the sarcasm he continued right on. "So how about you just tell me what's wrong so we can get a little bit closer to fixing it." Eliot just glared which no longer fazed him. "Is it the food?" Nothing. "If it's the food we can always change up the menu. Maybe if we make enough progress we can order out a few times a week."
"I eat my breakfast don't I?" Eliot countered what he had long ago categorized as an oddly shaped pair of greying glasses (long nose and round chin included). "And last I checked my meds are taken on time. So what's the big problem?"
"One meal isn't sufficient if you want to gain your strength back."
"There's children in this world workin' sixteen hour days and eatin' dirt cakes." Eliot used his foot to push some distance between them; clearly saying he wasn't having it.
"Which is a travesty, but right now that has nothing to do with our situation."
"Look I... I'm not skippin' meals or starving myself... I'm ju...ust eatin' when I'm hungry and right now that's about once a day. If t...t... tomorrow I feel like eatin' lunch then I... I... I'll eat lunch, but I'm not gonna p...promise to do so just so you'll stop bitching!"
Gideon smirked at that. "In the least you're speaking of progress, and mentioning so, how has your physical therapy been going?"
"Fine"
That was his cue right there. One straight gruff word meant there was at least a thousand thoughts behind it. "Really? Because I've been watching you and-"
"Stalker" That comment made him smirk despite the serious note he was trying to hold. "AND" Still he'd give it his best. "I think you're pushing yourself too hard."
"Like I said, I... I... I'm doin' fine."
"Then explain the wheelchair?" Eliot just glared daggers. "Yesterday you walked in here on your own two feet. Today I doubt it if you could stand."
"Nice pep talk Doc"
"Spencer you're burning more calories than you're consuming. If your weight drops too much further things may have to become more than voluntary around here."
"Weren't you just saying how gaining strength back was a good thing?" He wouldn't comment on that voluntary remark; surely someone would be threatened if he did.
"Spencer," With a sigh he rubbed his brow.
Yes the man had come a long way in the three weeks since his arrival but it wouldn't do him a bit of good if his mentality and emotions didn't start following. "Just do me a favor and be a little more eager with the sandwiches and a little less so with the dumbbells."
"We done here?" He should have known this was coming; about once a week he got a reprimand session instead of a therapy one.
"For today" The second Gideon confirmed that much he was reaching for the wheels. "Tomorrow same time, same place. I'll even let you pick the topic." Gideon called after what he knew to be a lost cause. There was just no way to help a man that refused to help himself. The most he could do was make sure he didn't hurt himself and there was only one way he knew of to do that. Perhaps it was time to call Mr. Elliott.
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"I'm bored."
"So go do something." Nate urged as he nearly pushed Parker out of his personal space; eyes barely leaving the book he was still holding with one hand.
"Like what?" She nearly pouted.
"I don't know Parker! Everyone else found something to do." And she was interrupting his.
"That's only because Sophie's with her boyfriend and Hardison went to some geek thing." She complained as she plopped herself down on the couch.
"So find a boyfriend or some thief thing to do!" Nate all but yelled. He really shouldn't be advising either of those things (not when every member of the team would have some kind of objection) but she was driving him nuts.
"That's why I came to you! You always know what to do." That and the little fact that she was fresh out of ideas.
"How about you check out the roof?" A good oncer over said she just might go for it. "If you wanted you could even check out the gutters while you're up there."
"Nate!"
With a heavy sigh he closed his book; it had been worth the try. "Look Parker, I don't know what to tell you. All there is to do around here is housework. so unless you want to vacuum your ideas are as good as mine."
"Can I go visit The First National's vault?" She wanted to test the truth of his last statement.
"You can visit the moon for all I care." With how quickly she jumped up he figured he better add some clause to that. "All I ask is that you're back before the night's over and that whatever you do doesn't end up on tomorrow's front page."
The phone started ringing just as she disappeared with a, "Sure thing!" Nate moving to answer it as he called, "Or The News!" The last thing they needed was her face and location publicly aired. "Hello?" It didn't take much more than a word and he knew what the call would be about. "Dr. Pilaccio, it's been a while."
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The Next Morning
"...and for the most part it's been anything but beneficial."
"I see" Nate nodded as he leaned forward in the chair across from Pilaccio's desk.
"As for his recovery, he's hindering himself. His speech for example, seeing as there's no brain damage his stuttering should have stopped long ago yet it's still just as persistent as ever."
"Why do you think that is?" This wasn't exactly what he'd been hoping to hear.
"I'd say it's psychological. The more angered or stressed he becomes the worse it gets."
"So what would you suggest?" Obviously he'd known this wouldn't be an easy time for Eliot but he hadn't been expecting it to climb to such a degree.
"For that problem in particular there's nothing I could suggest, "Only time would tell. "but for the situation as a whole I'd say perhaps it's time to take a little more control from his hands."
"You don't have the power to do that." Of this Nate was positive; he had triple checked for everyone's safety.
"I don't, but you do." His gaze was one of absolute seriousness. "He's quickly becoming a danger to himself and that gives you legal standing."
"I'll need to speak with him." Nate was quick to stand; this hadn't been the direction in which yesterday's conversation suggested things would go.
"Mr. Elliott I don't think you understand th-"
"Can I see him?" Dr. Pilaccio simply sighed, clearly suggestions weren't wanted.
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"Knock, Knock" Seeing as the door was open there wasn't really a need to knock but still he voiced his presence.
"Who's there?" Came a very low, very deep voice. One that had him clearing his own as he asked, "Is this Spencer Elliott's room?"
"Who wants to know?" From his point in the doorway he couldn't see much more than the back wall and it had him taking a few steps inside. One glance around the corner showed a very tall, extremely built, incredibly dark man lounged across a pullout. Eliot sitting on the table beside it.
"El?" He didn't get direct eye contact much less a reply. "Could I talk to you a second?"
What seemed like an eternity of this big burly guy glaring at him was finally interrupted by Eliot asking, "Could ya' give us a minute Mike?"
"No guests allowed in the rooms man." He nearly growled the rule; the bite behind it clearly meant for someone other than Eliot.
"Fifteen minutes" It could have been seen as the beginnings of a bargain but it was just as likely to have been an order.
"You go ahead and take your time," Mike assured as he got to his feet and headed to the door. "But this means you owe me one Spence" and with that he pulled the door shut.
"Well that guy's a real..."
"Good guy" Eliot interrupted sternly.
"Is he your roommate?" Nate couldn't help the nervous way in which he looked around.
"Does it matter?"
"No..." The sharp attitude threw him for a curve. "I guess it doesn't." He sat down on the side of the pullout feeling something he hadn't around Eliot since he could remember; awkward. "Look Eliot I..."
"What do you want Nate?" It wasn't curious and it wasn't inquisitive.
No, it was down right angry is what it was.
"Eliot I kno-"
"Three weeks Nate! I haven't seen or heard from you s...since you dro...dropped me in this damn place! So how can you know anything!"
"Eliot I tho-"
"No Nate! You di-"
"Damn you Eliot!" With an outraged frustration he stood. "Will you just give me a second to say more than two words?" When he got no reply he took it as reply enough. "I know that it's been a while and I know what you must be thinking but I thought that this would be good for you. You need to be focused on yourself right now and me being in your space every second of every day kind of stops you from being able to do that."
"And a five minute phone call would have hurt something?" He just had too much anger within to let it dissipate so easily. "It seriously would have killed ya!"
"Eli-"
"No Nate!" He stood in something close to rage. "No! F...for weeks I... I've been on my own yet y...y...you c'n come runnin' the second that quack starts calling!"
"I didn't com-"
"I'm not stupid N...ate! You didn't come to visit me, you came because that nut wants to lock me up and I know it!"
"Eliot can we actually talk now or aren't you finished yet?" Nate sat down hoping it would coax Eliot to do the same; he certainly didn't look steady on his feet.
"No I'm not finished and no we can't talk; not when y'all are trying to have me committed!"
"No one's trying to have you committed El." It hurt him to see Eliot barely propping himself up against a table. To hear the anger and betrayal he clearly felt. "You could have left here anytime you wanted."
"Could I have?" He knew things were going to be anything but calm judging just by the way Eliot turned to him. "And where would I have gone?"
"Home" Immediately he knew he had done wrong. Eliot in all his vulnerability really thought this was a punishment. He thought that what Nate had meant as space was him trying to put distance between them. And just knowing Eliot thought that killed him. "With me, with Sarah, with your brother."
"How? You tell me how when y'all want me here!"
"It was fo-"
"Naw Nate!" With what seemed like all his strength Eliot moved over to the single window in the room. "Just..." He shook his head.
"Eliot the only reason we want you here..." Even to his ears that was beginning to sound like an excuse. "The reason I want you here is because they can help you better than I can."
"More like they can lock me up easier."
"Is that what you think I want to do?" Thankfully there was no one around to hear Nate's voice just about break.
"What do you want me to think when you just drop me off and take off. Officially make him someone else's problem so you'll be free to go."
"Eliot don't you say shit like that." All he had wanted to do was tell Eliot to keep calm while he got everything situated, but this was way beyond that.
"Why the hell not Nate? It's the truth!"
"Eliot you know that isn't so."
"The hell if it isn't!"
The burning in his eyes couldn't hold a match to the flame in Eliot's. "Eliot, listen to me. I have been by your side day and night for months now. I"
"Finally got tired of it and shipped me off here!"
"Eliot" If only he could make him understand.
"No Nate!" Nate watched as he ran his hand through his hair out of pure aggravation. "Do I look like something you can put in a fuckin' cage!"
That was all it took; past the anger and bitterness, behind the outrage and resentment, and beyond the pain sat resignation and that alone had him standing. Without comment he started collecting things; pulling clothes from hangers and books from shelves, tossing them all to the corner bed that he could tell was Eliot's simply by the way it was made.
"Nate"
It wasn't until he had found the duffel he'd bought for Eliot and had it newly packed that he answered. "No Eliot," He could see the question in those eyes as he closed the distance between them. Whatever he said next was going to be the bottom line of a new starting point. "I know..." There were a lot of things he knew, and a lot more he'd just learned. "Look..." And that seemed to be all he could do, Eliot staring right back. "I'm sure it isn't worth much but..." Those eyes were just so deep and so blue that he felt like he was about to drown in them. "I'm sorry" Silence. Complete and utter silence is what met his ears and it was putting his heart in a bind. Causing his stomach to churn as it stirred memories of all the bad times. He couldn't take a moment more of it. "Aren't you going to say anything?"
Eliot actually seemed to contemplate that question. As if a response to it wouldn't have been automatic. Finally though he spoke, "Those were Mike's drawers you packed."
Nate couldn't help it, out of all the things he was expecting that wasn't one of them, nope he couldn't help but let out a slight laugh.
With a sharp exhale he dropped his forehead to Eliot's, softly suggesting, "Lets go home."
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"Well that I was not expecting." Hardison voiced softly as he pulled the back door shut.
"What's that?" Parker barely asked as she continued to gaze upon a starry sky.
"Girl, were you even sitting at the same table as I was?" He questioned as he sat on the porch steps beside her.
"Do you mean Eliot?" She knew that was exactly what he meant but she'd let him explain.
"I mean the situation as a whole mama."
"What was wrong with it?" At this point she was just filling in the given lines, knowing that he simply needed to rant.
"They were laughing and joking, acting like it was an everyday occurrence for them to be around the dinner table like that." His back was pressed against the railing post; full attention on her.
"So? What's wrong with that?" Personally she had enjoyed it.
"Aside from the fact that Nate clearly broke him out of a PT house?"
"It's kind of Bonnie and Clyde if ya think about it."
"AND" That was certainly not something he'd be thinking about. "the fact that he just suddenly shows up after being away for nearly a month. A lot is wrong with it Parker. I mean we all know the guy hasn't actually sat down and ate dinner in the last two months at least yet he does tonight for some reason."
"Maybe he was hungry" Parker shrugged as her attention turned to the moon. She could only imagine the journey that would be.
"Or maybe he's trying to con us. After everything we've been through with him maybe he still thinks he needs to bottle things back up and put the cap on to hide it from us."
"Do you know what I think?" Parker spoke once her attention was back on him. "I think that you can't blame a person for wanting to get away from their past and their problems. Even if it be for just a little while." She placed a tender hand on his, cutting him off before he could excuse her statement in any way. "And I think that maybe it's time for you to start accepting things for how they are instead of how they might be."
For a long moment Alec pondered those words and how they applied to his own thoughts until finally he draped an arm over Parker's shoulders, pulling her close as he whispered, "Maybe you're right mama."
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"Do you really plan on staying in that chair all night?" For the last half hour he had been watching Nate try not to dose off as he pretended to look through a book.
"I... I'm not..."
"Nate this isn't a hospital," He had many memories of waking up with the view of Nate sleeping in some chair by his side. "and I won't break."
"I... I just wanted to give you your space in case you were still mad, or had gotten used to sleeping on your own or..." Nate shrugged even as he thought of a dozen and ten more reasons.
"Just" Suddenly it seemed impossible to say what he needed to say so instead Eliot offered, "Come to bed."
"Eliot I," Nate knew that just about anything he could say right now would rock the boat. Especially since they were ignoring the fact that it was even in the middle of a storm, but how could he not say anything? It had been ages since they'd shared a bed in anything close to normalcy.
"I know" Eliot shrugged as he kept himself guarded. He knew what he wanted to say, what he wanted so badly to ask, but this decision right here had to come from Nate. It had to be what he wanted not just Nate fulfilling something he himself asked for. "It's been forever," The same thought was clearly in Nate's eyes but it was surrounded by oh so much more. "but even the couch is better than that chair."
"You're right about that." Nate agreed as he stood from the chair and moved to the still partially opened door.
"O...o... of co-course I am." Immediately Eliot cursed his treacherous voice, waiting for Nate to make his move. They had a lot of things to sort out and this was about to determine just how they'd do that.
As for Nate, he simply stood in front of the door with his thoughts.
Did Eliot really want him over there or was he just hoping it would cause less tension between them?
Had that been why he'd even mentioned the couch or had Nate merely been given an escape in case he was feeling something similar?
And what exactly was it that he was feeling now? The only thing Nate could come up with is dejavu.
What suddenly felt like a very short time ago he was standing in about this position trying to make this very decision. Eliot had been quiet that night as well. Giving him the chance to do as he wished without worry of consequence. Only there was always some sort of consequence, that's just how things worked, yet things had been different as well. That night he had been hurt. He had been filled with innumerable types of worry and fear. There had been good reasoning behind being uncertain. Tonight though he had sat through an enjoyable dinner without one worry or care coming to mind. He had partaken in conversation that didn't involve decisions or questions or even repercussions to consider. So why was he suddenly so wary?
With a deep breath he lifted his hand and pressed the door shut. "But I think," For a moment he fiddled with his watch (and if that wasn't starting to become a bad habit) placing it on the dresser before he turned toward Eliot. "there's probably a spot on that bed that trumps the couch."
"Prob'ly" Eliot agreed as he chose to completely ignore the last ten or so minutes.
"You keeping that half or..." Nate motioned to what was supposed to be his half of the bed.
Eliot simply shrugged. It had been clear that this side of the bed hadn't been used in some time anyway; that was why he'd picked it.
"Alright then" Nate relented as he climbed in on Eliot's side. Because though he'd been sleeping there for the last few weeks it was still very much Eliot's side. He was just keeping it warm so to say. It didn't take him long to get comfortable seeing as he was already beyond tired but with one move on Eliot's part he was alert and questioning once more.
Eliot never did this. Never.
He did this to Eliot all the time, but Eliot never did this.
Well maybe sometimes he did this but it always freaked him out because it meant one thing and one thing only. Inner turmoil.
Eliot had stretched over his torso, had placed his head over a cotton covered heart, and it worried him. But still for a moment he allowed himself to enjoy it. The warmth, the smell, the feel of Eliot. It had been so long, too long and... and now wasn't the time for that. With a steadying breath, one he knew was clearly heard by certain ears, he placed a hand on an all too skinny back; softly saying, "Eliot"
"Three weeks Nate." It was no longer bitter or accusing, simply informative, letting him know that the time had finally come to explain.
"I just couldn't El" Normally the pattern Eliot was ghosting over his skin would bring comfort but tonight it seemed to be bringing pain and guilt with it.
"You know," Eliot moved so that his head was nearly tucked under Nate's chin. "the last thing I remember clearly before all of this is baking with Becca."
"That same night you went to sleep on us for a good long while." Nate remembered more than informed.
"So they've told me but... m- my head's a mess of what was and wasn't an- n- and I needed somebody there who knows... I... just... sometimes I'll start thinking about things that I can't remember hearing an-an-n and... I feel like I'm going crazy man! I mean I've got a vivid memory of m- m- my mama comin' to visit me and I know that can't be true. That alone has been telling me my head ain't in the right place, but I... I ain't had nobody to help me get it on straight."
"I'm here now." It was weak even to his own ears.
"Three weeks Nate." A reminder.
One way or another Eliot was letting him know that the air would be cleared tonight.
"When" Nate paused for a long moment after that word. For months now he had been playing the role of rock and he was worried that if he stopped now, even if it be only momentarily, he just might crumble. "When you were out just about everything went through my mind El. I was full of anger, fear, hope, and disappointment until finally I settled on acceptance. You were going to do what you were going to do and there wasn't a damn thing I could do to change that." He spoke softly as to better adapt with the weight on his chest that had absolutely nothing to do with the man on it. "I just sat by your bed for hours. Waiting for you to live... waiting for you to die, waiting for something, for anything to stop the waiting itself because I honestly couldn't take any more of it Eliot." For a second he stopped to see if saying such a thing had offended Eliot, but the pattern still being ghosted across his skin let him know differently. "And then finally you were up El, but I was still waiting. Waiting for you to talk, waiting for you to walk, waiting for the nightmare to end. For your nightmares, your screaming to end." A hitch in Eliot's breathing had him wondering if those nightmares were still present, but without Eliot physically voicing anything he simply rubbed his fingers soothingly down his spine and continued. "Still, before I knew it they were getting ready to transfer you and I hadn't told you about it. And I thought it was because I was a coward, but that night"
"You were crying" Eliot barely voiced as he found himself in a distant memory.
"You made me cry." Call it defending his manhood if you like; he called it setting the record straight. "You jerk" Eliot laughed lightly at the meager insult. "But that night after you went back to sleep I realized something other than my cowardice." He still wasn't sure that he could admit it to Eliot, even now. "I... I couldn't... I had gotten you help because I couldn't help you anymore. The whole while I had been by your side helping you but I didn't know how to do that anymore because I didn't know how to help myself." The after taste of that admittance was awful. "I'd turned into a broken coward."
"Not true" Eliot disagreed as he was pulled even closer.
"Ha" Nate laughed depreciatively. "Pretty soon you'll be in better shape than me. But I'm working on it, I have been for about three weeks now. I even enlisted the help of a quack."
"You're going to therapy?" That alone had Eliot lifting his head to look Nate in the eye. There was so much in them that he hadn't a clue how Nate might answer his question and for a long moment he didn't. He just stared on, his silence saying oh so much more, until finally Nate voiced, "So are you." Eliot simply shook his head before returning it back to Nate's chest. He never had liked guilt, yet it still seemed to visit quite often. Not only was he screwed in the head, but it seemed that he had screwed with Nate's as well. They were officially a pair of ducks. The thought made him laugh.
"What?" Nate wondered aloud.
"It's" He could explain but he had the feeling he just didn't need to. "just been a long three weeks."
"That it has." Yet for Nate that wasn't even the beginning.
With a sigh he reached over to turn off the lamp, doing his best to ignore all thoughts that came to mind as he pulled his boyfriend closer. With any luck he could once again get lost in the touch, the smell, the feel... the warmth of Eliot.
E/N: Awww they're so cute :) lol So what'd ya think? I tried my best to give you something worth the read and in the process it kind of went wild so hopefully *fingers crossed* you were able to follow. If not let me know and I'll gladly get to clearing... Anywho, how's everyone been? Hopefully life's been treating all well. Can't wait to hear from y'all!