Soundtrack: The Battle of Evermore – Led Zeppelin
Oh, dance in the dark of night
Sing to the morning light
The Dark Lord rides in force tonight
And time will tell us all...
The rainfall had intensified and thunder was rolling overhead. Shepard flopped down on the ground and leaned against the wet, slippery trunk of one of the giant trees. Midday had come and gone as they struggled on towards the ERV and now, as the day turned into a dark afternoon She was exhausted, completely drenched, and shivering again, her teeth clattering.
Kaidan knelt in front of her, his omni-tool bathing them in an orange glow as he took readings of her health status. He frowned. "Your temperature has gone up again." His warm hand lingered on her arm a moment as he administered a dose of medi-gel before he continued to check her over.
"How's James doing?" Shepard asked, glancing over to where the younger soldier sat slumped against a half-rotten tree stump.
"The medi-gel's working as an antidote. He'll be fine once the poison it out of his body." Kaidan said, he looked up from the omni-tool and into her eyes. "It's you I'm worried about."
"Kaidan..."
He gave her a half-smile. "I'm your medic, Shepard. I wouldn't be doing a very good job if I didn't worry about you." He handed her the canteen and a protein bar. "You need to eat and drink something." He rose, brushing wet leaves and twigs off his fatigues. "I'll check on you again before we move out."
"All right." She watched him make his way back to James and take a seat next to him. Shepard forced herself to take a bite of the protein bar. She chewed and swallow it down with tepid water. The rain played its monotone staccato against the leaves and the ground. She couldn't help but to wonder if there were surveillance drones hovering above the tree tops, searching for them.
The Dealer, who ever he was, wouldn't give up. He was out there somewhere. Hunting them. No matter where I hide, he'll find me! He'll take me back to the cell. To the room with the blood splattered floor. He'll strap me into the chair again!
That thought made panic well up inside her. Shepard's heart was racing, darkness crowding her vision. The protein bar turned into a lump of sticky sawdust in her mouth. Shepard struggled to swallow, almost gagging. She lifted the canteen to her mouth, her hands shaking so badly she spilled some of the water.
Then Garrus was there, wrapping his hand around hers, steadying it, holding the bottle so she could drink. "Shepard, we need to talk about this."
She blinked back the tears, struggling not the let the anxiety and fear overwhelm her. "No. We don't." She tried to yank her hand free from his grip but he didn't let her go.
"You can't let fear control you like this, you have to face it", he said, his dual-voice humming with emotions. "You know I'm right."
"You don't know what the hell you're talking about!" Her eyes were dark, midnight skies covered by storm clouds. "Let me go!"
"Not until you talk to me." His gaze didn't leave hers. "Tell me what happened."
"No", she gritted out. She tried to wrench her arm free again but he refused to let her go.
From where he was sitting Kaidan had seen the altercation, had seen Shepard struggle against the turian's grip. He rose, hurrying towards the couple. "What the hell are you doing, Garrus?"
The former C-Sec officer ignored the human. "Shepard, tell me what happened", he repeated. Thunder rumbled, closer now then it had been before. The storm was upon them.
"No!" Her voice was shrill, bordering on a scream. The desperation in it jolted Kaidan into action.
"Dammit, Garrus!" He grabbed the turian's shoulder to push him away from Shepard but someone was holding him back. James. He snapped his head around, brown meeting brown, as he looked into the younger soldier's eyes.
"Kaidan, Scars is right." James had to shout to make himself heard over the thunder. "She has to deal with this or it will tear her apart."
The rain was pouring down, drenching everything. Rivulets of water ran down Garrus' face, he blinked to clear away the raindrops blurring his vision. "Shepard, please..."
Sobs wracked her. "I can't..." But the memories welled up and refused to be pushed away.
She woke up in darkness. Her head was throbbing, her muscles ached. The taste of blood in her mouth made her spit. A putrid stench of mildew and decay assailed her nose. It was nauseating.
The sound of heavy footsteps came closer and closer until they filled her entire world. Then they stopped. The lock on the door changed from red to green and it slid open with a squeak. Light spilled in and she squinted at the dark figure standing out in stark relief against the brightness.
Rough hands grabbed her, dragged her out from the cell, hoisting her to her feet. She struggled against them. "Who are you?" She demanded. "What do you want?"
The two men, both wearing the blue and white armour of the Blue Suns, didn't reply. She could have just as well been talking to mechs. The flickering light revealed a damp, derelict corridor. Mildew grew along the wall and the locked doors they passed were rusty, paint peeling.
She tried to remain calm, to remember the E&A training that had been part of the N7- program, and tried again: "If it's credits you're after you should contact Admiral Steven Hackett of the Alliance Navy."
This made one of the men laugh. "The Dealer already has all the credits he'll ever need, honey. It's your screams he wants." With that he opened the door in front of them and pushed her through it. She stumbled but managed to remain on her feet.
The room was big with white tiles on the floor and walls. In its centre stood a metal chair. Red and blue stains coloured the floor around it. Blood, and not only human blood. The chair itself reminded her somewhat of a dentist's chair but she had seen devices like this before. It was used during interrogation. During torture.
The door on the opposite side of the room slid open with a soft hiss and three men dressed in black entered.
"I never saw their faces", Shepard said in clipped tones. The rain ran down her face to mingle with the tears. "T-they were wearing masks... black executioners' hoods." Her voice broke. "Please... I don't want to remember..."
Garrus looked into her shattered eyes. A part of him wanted to take her into his arm and tell her to forget it all, to wipe the torture, the rape, from her memory. But he knew that the only way she could start to heal was to face what had happened. And, selfishly perhaps, he needed to know who was the master mind behind it. He needed to know so he could hunt that person down and make him bleed, make him hurt like Shepard was hurting.
As a C-Sec officer he had dealt with victims of rape and abuse, and even torture. He had listen to testimonies given in the same hushed tone of voice as Shepard's, had seen the same shame in their eyes. He hated to see Shepard look so defeated. She was strong enough to overcome this. But she had to stop fleeing from the memories. If she continued to suppress them they would break her. He made his voice steady, the sub-harmonics hard. "What happened next."
Only James' hand on Kaidan's shoulder held him back. His hands curled into fists, knuckles white, tendons standing out like rope under the skin. This wasn't right! He knew what Garrus tried to do. But this was too brutal.
"Fuck." James' voice was hoarse. Like Kaidan he had to struggle not to simply throw himself at Garrus to stop him despite knowing why the turian did this.
Shepard's eyes were dark and stormy, hidden under lowered lids. Her voice was barely audible, drowned out by the sound of the rain. "They strapped me to the chair..."
Hands tearing at her clothes... She tried to fight but it was impossible. Her pants and shirt were cut open with scissors and then torn from her body. She struggled against the clamps holding her pinned to her spot. Panic surging through her.
"Who are you?" She demanded. Her voice sounded shrill and frightened even in her own ears. "What do you want?"
One of the men, positioned himself in front of her. He lifted two fingers to his ear, activating a comm. "We're ready to start now, sir."
A whirring sound was heard above her frightened gasps and the grunts from the men still struggling to remove the last remains of her clothes.
A camera drone came floating to circle the scene. The lens zooming in on her.
"Yes sir", the man said as if receiving instructions. The tone in his voice changed and she knew he was grinning under the mask. "My boys knows what they're doing, sir. You won't be disappointed." He ended the call and turned his attention back to her. The black hood covering his face made him seem more like an evil spirit or demon then a human. A nightmare come to life.
She was in a spread eagle position, naked save for her panties and the top she'd had on underneath the Alliance standard issue shirt. Shepard felt acutely vulnerable. Goosebumps rose on her arms and legs, her stomach tightened into a knot. They were going to torture her and there was absolutely nothing she could do to stop them.
Shepard forced herself to meet the eyes that shone like silver pennies through the holes in the mask. "Why are you doing this?"
"Because the Dealer pays us to", he replied. "It's nothing personal, Commander. But I'd be lying if I said I wouldn't enjoy it." She could hear the cruel smile in his rough voice again. The camera drone was hovering, positioning itself above his shoulder as the man gave his two companions a nod. "Let's begin."
"They took turns raping me", she whispered. Her eyes were wide and she stared blindly out into the rain and the gathering shadows. "I tried not to scream but they... " Her voice trailed off and she had to start over "They were... professionals. "They knew how to hurt me enough to make me scream without causing too much damage", she said, meeting his gaze. "Is this what you wanted to hear?"
The tone in her voice cut into his heart but he forced himself to continue. "Who's the Dealer?"
"I don't know", Shepard replied quietly. "I never saw him."
"But you must have some idea of who it is", he pressed.
She shook her head. "I don't. "
Garrus put his hand on her shoulders, forcing her to meet his gaze. "Think, Shepard. There must be some clue to who-"
Shepard's tempered flared. "I don't know!" She shouted. "The Dealer paid the Blue Suns to kidnap me and he paid those men to torture and rape me! That's all I know!"
Emotions reeling, frustration mixed with anger and grief got the better of him and his voice rose to match hers. "Focus!" She tried to free herself from his grip but he didn't let her go. "Someone might have said or done something that -"
"That's enough, Garrus!" Kaidan's voice was stern, he closed the distance between them in a few short strides. He pushed Shepard behind him and met the turian undaunted, his brown eyes flashing. "This isn't C-Sec and Shepard isn't one of your crime victims! Back off!"
Garrus' mandibles were pressed tightly against his face. But he knew the man was right. One look at Shepard told him he had gone too far. "I'm sorry", he said, his eyes meeting hers. "I just..."
She turned away from him before he could finish the sentence. "James, how far are we from the ERV?" Her voice was hard, frail like crystal as she struggled to not succumb to the maelstrom of emotions that threatened to drown her.
James wiped the rain out of his eyes, activating the nav. "Uh... 12 clicks, Commander. In this terrain it will take us about 24 hours."
Shepard took a couple of deep breaths. She could feel their eyes on her and turned to meet their gazes. James' showed concern and sympathy. Kaidan's were dark, troubled. And Garrus... She turned her back to him, pretending to checked her weapons, unable to stand the intensity in his eyes. It was all too much. She didn't bother to hold back the tears. In the heavy rain no one could see that she was crying anyway. "Kaidan, you take point", she managed. "The faster we get off this damn planet, the better."
"Aye aye, ma'am." Kaidan drew his assault rifle and cocked it. He pushed aside a curtain of greenery and stepped out onto the narrow animal-trail that would take them in the direction of the ERV.
The wind had picked up, whipping the tree tops, causing a steady downfall of leaves and twigs. The group walked in silence, slowly making their way through the jungle.
I had to rush it a bit at the end I'm afraid. I'm already so so late for work! I hope you enjoyed the chapter despite the sucky ending.