Chapter Seventy-Two
The Next Afternoon
"I'll get it!" Parker shouted as she reached for the phone vibrating its way across the kitchen table. Though it was a cell it didn't belong to any single one of them; it was more of a community 'house phone' of sorts. "Hello?" She was already in search of a pen. If it wasn't one of the team it was usually someone calling to confirm an appointment. "Oh hey Sarah!" A little of that excitement might have been for Sarah, but mostly she was just happy she wouldn't have to squeeze a ton of info into one of those tiny squares on the already full calendar hanging on the fridge. "How's it going?"
"Not bad, I was just wondering if either Nate or Eliot are there. I called Nate but there was no answer."
"He's actually out on an errand or something, but I think Sparky's around here somewhere."
"That's great!"
"If I can find him." Parker offered as she left the kitchen in search. "He might have decided to go out for a while." She'd drawn a blank in the living room.
"I hope not."
"Well maybe he's taking a nap." Though she quickly found his room empty. "Or a shower?" But the bathroom was empty too and it had her man hunt renewed. "Hardison!" Parker made quick work of the stairs.
Hardison met her in the hall with a, "What's up mama?"
"Have you seen Eliot? Sarah wants to talk to him." She pointed to the phone that was still resting by her ear.
"I think he went out back." Hardison offered as he entered his room and moved to the window. "Yeah" He shook his head at the sight he was seeing between the slanted blinds. "He's out there doing push-ups."
"He's out back Sarah." But Parker didn't move in that direction. It would be rude to interrupt him wouldn't it?
"Thank goodness! I was starting to think he was MIA."
"Well I guess I'll take you to him." On second thought why should she worry about being rude? Eliot was being just as rude by not making time to return calls from his family.
"I appreciate it. First though Parker I've got a favor to ask of you and Hardison."
"Hardison Sarah wants us to do something." Parker spoke bluntly as she put the phone on speaker.
The pregnant pause Alec was hearing basically had him offering, "You name it" as he tried to mend his girlfriend's mistake.
"Well I was wondering if y'all wouldn't mind watching the kids next weekend?"
Immediately Hardison started shaking his head, mouthing no as he waved his hands in protest.
"We'd love to." Parker smiled evilly as she turned to, presumably, take Eliot the phone.
With a very loud, extremely irritated sigh Hardison plopped on his bed.
There went that surprise.
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"You feeling alright today Nate?" Dr. Murdock questioned as he entered the room.
"Fine" Nate watched with a bit of skepticism as his therapist took a seat in an over-sized lounger. "Why do you ask?"
"Well I saw you coming in earlier and you looked to be dragging. I just thought maybe you were coming down with something."
"Yeah," Nate gave a huff. "A case of crazy."
Murdock couldn't help the smile that showed. "How so?"
"I've taken to running each morning, but it hasn't taken long for it to start catching up with me." He couldn't help but rub his knee as he leaned back in his chair.
"You'll adjust" Murdock offered sincerely. "Actually I'm rather happy to hear you've picked up a hobby, and all the better that it's a healthy one. It's good that you're seeking time for yourself."
"Actually" Sure he could have been dishonest and saved himself some flack but he knew in the end it wouldn't be beneficial. "I'm running with my partner as part of his physical therapy."
"So it isn't something you want to be doing; rather something you're doing to support him."
"Basically" Nate could see the disappointment on Murdock's face. "I'd rather sleep in but…" He shrugged his shoulders as he offered, "Compromise."
"In all honesty Nate," and he knew Nate wouldn't like it. "The only thing you're compromising is time for yourself and that isn't healthy."
"I have plenty of time for myself." Nate denied the accusation.
"Alright than," Murdock challenged. "When's the last time you had half an hour to yourself?"
"I"
"And that doesn't include showers or these visits." Murdock rushed to add.
"I haven't" Nate sighed out in realization. Even when he was physically alone his mind was still full of everyone else's troubles.
"Then that's your assignment for the week." Murdock declared. "I want you to free at least twenty minutes for yourself every day and you're to spend that time solely on yourself."
"That should be interesting." Nate smirked doubtfully. Extra time was not a luxury they had as of lately.
"I look forward to hearing about it." He wasn't expecting much, but still he hoped Nate would at least try. "Speaking of interesting things though, how did that meeting with the nephrologist go?" Last time Nate had mentioned it was a rather important appointment for his partner.
"Surprisingly it went pretty well. His blood levels looked really good so they decided that'd be his last round of the chelation therapy."
"I bet that was exciting news?" It was Nate's lack of excitement he was hinting at though.
"Not for Eliot, he's pissed that they don't want him renovating anymore."
"You're angry too."
"Well yeah, I don't want him renovating anymore either. He's just too hard headed to give a damn." He stared at Murdock for a moment before summarizing, "He really pissed me off with that yesterday."
"It sure sounds like it." Murdock agreed. "But it sounds like a little more than that too." His verbal nudge wasn't answered. "It sounds like something else was wriggling under your skin before that."
"I don't know what you're talking about." Nate was on the defense now and it had him in search.
"Something that was just slowly eating away at ya."
"It's nothing." Admittance and denial wrapped in one.
"Grating at your every nerve."
"Alright!" Nate pinched his nose as he hung his head. "Okay"
The deep breath Nate blew out had Murdock reminding, "I'm not judge or jury Nate, just an ear."
"I'm just being… insecure." Even as he said it he felt stupid.
"Aren't we all."
"It's ridiculous really"
"How about you let me decide that for myself." Murdock eased him to an opening.
"Yesterday I was flipping through a magazine while we waited for the nephrologist and… well I didn't like the amount of attention my partner was giving the male model on the cover." It almost embarrassed him to say it.
"So he found him attractive?" Nate nodded. "And you didn't like that?" Once more he nodded. "Why?"
"Why?" Nate repeated disbelievingly.
"Yes, why did it bother you?"
"I don't know," Nate spoke sarcastically. "Maybe because the guy is half my age and built like a house!"
"So you see him as competition?" Murdock could tell Nate was becoming uneasy.
"No," Nate nearly laughed at that. "I just…"
"I'm going to go out on a limb here," Murdock was pretty sure he saw where this was going so he decided to help Nate along. "And feel free to correct me if I'm wrong but… Eliot hasn't looked that way at you in a while now has he?"
Nate had a fist of hair firmly gripped as he carefully avoided Murdock's gaze.
"He's letting his attraction for a complete stranger be known, but he hasn't shown any to you. Why do you think that is?"
"I don't know." Nate sighed out in frustration.
"Could it possibly be that he's merely trying to remind you that he's a sexual being that just so happens to be attracted to males?"
"Why would I need a reminder?" He nearly rolled his eyes at the thought. They were in a relationship after all.
"Excuse me if I'm getting personal here but when's the last time you treated him like a sexual being?"
Nate blatantly chose to overlook his therapist's wording as he defended, "He's been awfully sick the last few months."
"What about the last few weeks or even the last few days."
"I just…" Nate shook his head.
"No go ahead," Murdock urged. "finish your thought."
"I just think with all the things we still need to work on, that would be a selfish place to start."
"The fact that you even considered whether or not it was selfish proves it's not. People have needs Nate and one of them is sexual. So just find the right time and make your move."
Nate couldn't help but laugh, "Simple as that is it?" He felt like he was back in sixth grade sitting through sex ed.
"It can be if you want it to. Even if it isn't what's the worst that happens?"
"I spend next week talking to you about it." Nate joked.
"Exactly! Or maybe he's got a headache," Murdock shrugged as he tried his own hand at humor. "It won't be the first or the last time either of us hear that, but at least he'll know that on your part that door's still open."
"What about on his part? For all I know I'm out of my mind and we're not even close to the same page." He was so used to problems that it was likely he could even be inventing some.
"There's only one way to find out." He couldn't help but smile; Nate was looking at him like he had the recipe for the secret sauce. "Go out on a date! Leave the doctors, the bills, the troubles, the worries:
leave them at home! Re-learn all those things that got y'all's flame burning. Did he hold your hand in the movies? Did you leave him little notes to find? Did he whisper the best nothings you have ever heard? Maybe you used to wake him up with kisses. Whatever it may have been you can only benefit from renewing that intimacy."
Nate simply nodded as he lost himself in a memory of that intimacy. A time when he actually felt the passion Eliot had for him. It left him yearning to feel it again.
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"Babe," It was only a little after eight but already the house was dark. "You here somewhere?" The car was gone, and he assumed Parker and Hardison with it. "El" he opened the bedroom door and found it too was dark within. "Why are you sitting in the dark?" He could barely make out Eliot's form sitting in the middle of the bed.
"You don't need a light to think."
"True" Nate conceded as he dropped his keys and phone on the night stand. "But would you mind terribly if I turned one on anyway." Without comment Eliot reached for the side lamp's switch. "Thank you" Nate offered as he sat down, using the dim glow to remove his shoes.
"So how was your session with Murdock?" Eliot had his knees to his chest and an elbow propped on one.
"It was good." Nate shrugged as he settled on to the bed.
"Must've lasted a while." Nate had left around three, yet was just getting back now.
"Not really, I just took a drive to clear my head afterward and ended up going a little out of the way." More like a wrong turn had him headed to Texas, but in the least it had cleared his thoughts. Plus, he could say that was the 'me time' Murdock had been griping about.
"Should have took Hardison up on getting that GPS." Eliot spoke softly, chin propped on his knuckles.
"In your truck?" He knew for fact Eliot wouldn't be having any of that.
"No one said it had to be permanent; you can get one with the suction on it."
"I suppose" Nate barely offered as he took his first good look at Eliot. "You alright Babe?" Eliot didn't seem to be completely with him.
"I'm fine" He knew Nate hated that phrase but he couldn't stop it from leaving his mouth.
"So you don't want to tell me?" Nate nearly scowled as he stretched out fully, propping his head on his hand.
"There isn't really anything to tell." Eliot offered as he chewed on a nail.
"If you say so." Nate spoke knowingly as he fluffed his pillow.
"Sarah called is all." Eliot dropped one of his legs down as he turned his focus to Nate.
"Oh?" Nate tried his best for interested instead of worried.
"She wanted to let me know" He paused as he thought back to their conversation.
"El?" Nate found himself pushing himself up to sit. He didn't know what she had said but he was irritated with Sarah for getting under Eliot's skin like this.
"My ma's been asking about me." He couldn't help the distance in his voice. "This whole while I was thinking I was going nuts and it turns out my mama actually came to visit me."
"How do you feel about that?" Nate had all of his attention on Eliot who was twisting the ends of his hair.
"I called her," Eliot confessed. "and she lost it the second she found out it was me."
"Babe I'm sorry" Nate didn't know how to respond, but clearly Eliot was bothered and for that he'd try to comfort him.
"I didn't know what to do." Eliot whispered as he dropped his head even more; almost as if he was trying to catch a glimpse within. "I just listened to her cry."
"Well, did she have anything to say?" Nate tried his best to hide the slight bitterness in his tone.
"Just that she was sorry… that she loves me," Eliot's voice was nearly hollow. "but she wasn't ready to talk."
"Eliot," Hopefully Eliot didn't take this the wrong way. "it isn't your problem."
Eliot shook his head as he stood from the bed. "You don't get it."
"El?" Nate called after him. "Eliot" He was soon up and propping himself in the bathroom door so Eliot couldn't close it. "Talk to me."
"It's too much Nate." Eliot sighed as he propped himself against the counter.
"I've got a shoulder." There wasn't a load he wouldn't help Eliot carry.
"I nearly lost my life this year" Nate refrained from commenting the obvious, 'I know' as Eliot continued, "and I never thanked the people that gave it to me."
"Understandably so; they didn't exactly make things easy for you." He was trying to be empathetic, but it was hard seeing as he had met Michael and Caroline.
"It's been nearly twenty years since all of that though" Eliot reasoned, though mostly to himself. "Yet we're still going back and forth with that anger."
"There's a lot to be angry about Eliot." Nate wasn't trying to make Eliot feel any certain way he just wanted to make sure Eliot had his eyes open to either side.
"That there is," Eliot nodded in agreement. "but I don't have the energy for it anymore. Hell, I don't want to waste what's left of my life on this grudge match."
"El" Nate couldn't help but stare. This was the first time he was really seeing how much Eliot had indeed changed. It was drastic.
"It ain't worth it no more Nate." Eliot shook his head as he moved to sit on the edge of the tub.
"So what are you going to do?" Nate asked as he claimed Eliot's old spot by the sink, arms crossed.
"Lay it out to 'em. I'm not looking for nothing I just want them to know that as far as I'm concerned we can put it under the bridge."
"Do you think they'll want to do that?" Nate only asked as a measure of Eliot's state of mind.
"I honestly don't have a clue what they want, but it ain't about them. Whether we start building something or never talk again, this is something I'm going to put behind me." He spoke certainly as he pushed a hand through his hair.
"I'm proud of you Eliot. It takes a lot to do what you're doing." Nate squeezed Eliot's shoulder in a display of that pride.
"It's a little early for that." Eliot deflected. "You never know; I might decide to take the easy way out."
Nate shook his head with a smirk as he sat next to Eliot. "Real life's a bitch isn't it?"
"Only if you aren't working an angle." Eliot sighed as Nate dropped a hand to his knee.
"I've got a plan or two in reserve." Nate shrugged.
"Once a con artist" Eliot shook his head at Nate's confession.
"Hey now," Nate spoke in a mock offense. "The only honest men are conmen."
"If that ain't something to drink to." And if tonight wasn't a night for a bottle.
"How about we find something to do?" Nate offered as he ignored the watery sensation that came to his mouth with the thought of whiskey.
"I think I'm just gonna take a shower." He rolled his shoulders as he stood. His shirt was soon removed in an alluring anticipation of the soothing sensation those beads of water would bring.
"What if," Nate was quick to step behind Eliot. "I joined you?"
"Nate, I'm exhausted man." But even as he said it he dipped his head so Nate could continue laying kisses across his shoulders.
"What about" Nate kissed the back of Eliot's neck. "A bath."
"A bath?" Eliot repeated as Nate wrapped his arms around his waist.
"Just a bath" Nate softly assured. He'd already heard the no and he wouldn't push it. "Just some warm, relaxing time in the tub."
With a little wriggling Eliot had himself turned in Nate's arms as he looked up to say, "Let's take a bath."
"Well" Nate feigned a pause for thought as he ran his hand down Eliot's back. "If you insist."
"Nice" Eliot shook his head as he moved to start the water running.
"It will be" Nate barely voiced as he began unbuttoning his shirt.
In a moment Eliot would bring him the comfort only closeness could offer. His skin would offer a heat that warmed Nate's very heart and for now that was good enough.