"Hey, you're Bella Swan, right?"

I shifted on the bench, clenching my hands between my legs. Somehow, and don't ask me how, it includes too much running and tripping, I had managed to avoid introducing myself all morning. The town of Forks had, no doubt, been gossiping about chief Swan's snarky, abandoning wife. And the phenomenon of her suicide, which brought me back into the picture. The pity in their eyes when I walked through the hallways here terrified and aggravated me. I just wanted to get the hell out of here.

"That's me," I said, chancing a tight smile at this boy. He had warm, blue eyes and a round face, topped off with a swirl of gel-induced hair at the top of his head. He smiled in return, a careless, sweet smile. I felt a brief surge of envy; why couldn't I smile like that anymore?

"I'm Mike. Newton."

"Oh, okay," I said awkwardly. I looked down at the table, picking at some invisble stain. What did he want, again?

"So, um, do you wanna come sit at my table?" He gestured to the far end of the cafeteria, where a hoard of people sat watching our interaction intently. They quickly averted their gaze as soon as I paid them any notice. "Everyone is dying to meet you," He laughed meekly.

...So that's what this was all about. I extracted myself out of the table and took my untouched lunch tray in my hands. They were trembling. Jesus, why was I so sensitive?

"Yeah, sure," I said weakly. I couldn't just refuse. Even though I would rather congest raw sewage than meet these particularly curious strangers.

We made our way over to Mike Newton's table. I like to think of it as the march of death. That's what awaited me, right? Death. Or maybe this was torture; the malicious, predictable kind. The teenage kind.

I sat down noiselessly beside a girl in a hefty jacket and thick, fur-ridden boots. At least my clothes made sense here. I snuggled against my sweater, trying to attain some peace of mind before they'd go on and ask me something rude and personal. That's just how small talk works.

"What's up?" Some boy, probably the overconfident type, called. I smothered my potato against the milk carton.

"Not much," I tried to respond easily. Everyone's eyes were on me. I would never get used to this.

"So...Bella...I hear your mom died last summer."

Wow. Mike Newton's table really cut to the chase.

"Yes," I choked out.

"Were you the one that found her?"

I nodded, not daring to look up from my tray. Suddenly, Renee's eyes filtered through my mind. It felt like the blueness of them was coming back to me again by that silly, catty look she'd always give me. And then, almost as soon as the memory came, it left to be replaced by the one in her casket. Those aren't blue, I thought. Can such hollow eyes really be of any color?

The girl next to me nudged my shoulder, but I hardly processed it. She asked me something about my pizza. I glanced after the bathrooms, only a few strides away. Should I really risk breaking down in front of these strangers?

"Hey." This time she was right in my ear. "Are you gonna eat your pizza or what?" I stared at her for a minute, taking in the levity of her voice with the words coming out of her mouth. "Oh." I shook my head fervently. "No. No, you can have it." I glanced back towards the bathroom, and sighed in agony. I couldn't. I would only be tempted to skip the rest of the day.

"Do you know why she did it?" The boy directly across from me asked. God, they just couldn't get enough of me, could they? I tried not to feel his words. I had to control myself.

"She was sad," I stated simply, folding my arms across my chest. I tried to ignore how my heart refused to bow to my will. Damn, it hurt. I wish I could reverse this feeling. It never seemed to leave me alone.

"Why?"

"Who knows?" Me.

"Did you, like...do something?" Yes.

"No," I lied through my teeth. Heat licked around my eyes, tempting me to cry. You can do that later, Bella. Just don't feel.

"Really? My dad says she was always so happy. And then everything changed when she got...knocked up," This boy snickered. I said nothing. Instead, I focused on the girl beside me. She picked off the pepperoni on my pizza and dropped it in the potato salad like it was disease. She noticed me watching, and said, "What? That's made of pig, you know." She grimaced, and then took a hearty bit of her slab of grease. "I'm a vegan. It's healthier." I was too upset to explain to her the ethics of veganism, so I just looked back into my lap. I gasped as tears fell from my eyes onto my jeans, hastily wiping them away with the back of my sleeve. I really must have been at my limit. I never let myself cry around other people.

It was then that I noticed him. In a tear-stricken haze, drowning all over again.