Sonny's POV
(…Hearing…)
My phone seems to be burning in my pocket and eventually I take it out. I find his number, but just before hitting call I hesitate. It is just his name on the display and I make a note to myself to take a picture of him the next time I see him. While I try to decide whether to call him or not, my mind flashes back to last night.
After he catched me before I would fall over and pulled me against his body, I could barely breathe. I was so embarrassed for him to see me like this. His blue eyes were so close and their intense depth made me weak in my knees. And then suddenly his lips were on mine and everything was perfect. And then, while he was softly licking my neck, I suddenly heard myself say:
"I am so in love with you."
He pulled back and looked into my eyes, and then he smiled while leaning forward, just gently touching his nose to mine. It was a perfect evening where we talking, had dinner together, and eventually made out on the couch. I remember vividly how he pulled my shirt from my shoulders, hurting my wrist when he forgot about my injury. But I didn't mind as he immediately kissed the pain away. His chest was soon as bare as mine and I smile when I think about my fingers tracing its perfect shape. And then we heard the clock strike midnight, and he reluctantly decided to leave as he had a busy day ahead. We took our time to say goodnight, exchanging phone numbers and too many kisses to count, but eventually he did cross the hallway to his own apartment.
I push the call button, and feel my heart pounding in my chest while I wait for him to answer. He soon picks up and I hear:
"Hi."
"Hi."
I wish I had thought this through and actually had prepared for what to say next. I don't even know why I am calling him. I decide to go with the standard:
"What are you doing?"
I cringe in my seat, thankful he cannot see the fire burning my cheeks.
"I'm in the middle of classes, two more to go today…"
I nod, forgetting he cannot hear that, and then it is silent. My brain is running a hundred miles an hour and yet it seems frozen. I feel myself starting to panic and then I hear his voice again:
"Are you OK?"
"Sure."
"How about your wrist and your ankle?"
I look at my foot stretched out on the couch and I sigh. Before I can say something I hear his laugh:
"That bad?"
"Are you laughing?"
"Smiling…"
"Liar… you were laughing at my misery."
"Just because you were sighing as if the world is ending soon…"
I smile and surrender:
"I hate sitting here at home alone… Can you come over tonight?"
It is quiet for a while and then:
"I'm sorry, after classes I am working at the pub, and then I am babysitting my brothers and sisters, so I stay over at my mum's place tonight…"
"Oh."
I cannot hide my disappointment even if I tried. He coughs slightly and then I hear the insecurity in his voice when he says:
"Sonny… can we… it's just…"
I am alarmed by the tone in his voice and sit up straight, asking:
"What is it Will?"
"Please don't take this the wrong way, but can we… take it slow… you know? I mean… just… take it slow… not yet tell people and stuff?"
I am not sure what to think but I feel my heart sinking in my chest:
"Why…"
"Just… please…?"
"OK."
I promise, but I feel hurt and rejected. Soon after we hang up and I am not sure about what just happened. I look at the phone in my hand and whisper:
"Why did you let me fall in love with you so quickly and then ask me to take it slow?"
(…Smelling…)
I wake up in the middle of the night from the pain in my wrist and my ankle. I reach for the pain killers on my night stand and check my phone. It is only three in the morning. For about thirty minutes I toss and turn, unable to find sleep again. Finally I hop out of bed and while holding on to the furniture I find my way to the couch. I decide to fluff the pillows even though I am balancing on one foot and can only use one hand. I pull some cushions towards me and see how a black tank top lies crumpled up in a corner of the couch. I pull it out and bite my bottom lip when I remember where it is coming from.
I remember vividly how he pulled my shirt from my shoulders, hurting my wrist when he forgot about my injury. His chest was soon as bare as mine and I smile when I think about my fingers tracing its perfect shape. But then we heard the clock and he decided to go back to his place as he had a busy day ahead. He put his white shirt back on and I sighed while he did up a few buttons, before he leaned over to kiss me again. The moment his lips touched mine I knew we were going to take our time to say goodnight and I let my hands draw patterns on his back, enjoying the feel of his muscles against my fingers.
I just stand there with his top in my hand, remembering my frustration when he took his shirt off, and I saw another layer of clothing between my hands and his skin. Luckily he didn't waste time and he pulled it over his head and just dropped it. When he left he just wore his white shirt, and I don't think either of us thought about this top. I hop back to bed, holding on to the piece of clothing. I reach out to read the text he sent me last night:
'So sorry, but won't be home tomorrow, have to attend a charity event in town my grandmother has been organising.'
I haven't answered yet, not sure what to say without sounding desperate. I eventually sit up pull his top over my head and then lie back down. The smell of his aftershave calms me down and I drift off to sleep again.
(…Seeing…)
"Mum, I am still limping…"
"Don't be silly, I have worked hard to get this all arranged, the least you can do is show some support."
"What is it about anyway…"
"To raise money for dementia research."
I know I cannot say no to that without sounding selfish and egocentric, so I agree for her to pick me up in about an hour to attend this event at the town square. As always she is right on time and soon we walk onto a busy town square, where my mother starts introducing me to people. A lady with a sweet smile is one of the first ones:
"Marlena, this is my son Sonny, who recently opened a coffee house in town. Sonny, this is Marlena, we organised this event together."
"Nice to meet you."
"And you Sonny. So how is your business going?"
I nod and smile happily:
"Very well, thus far…"
We soon have an engaging conversation about my coffee house and Salem. My mother is obviously proud of me and Marlena is interested and sweet when I tell her about my experiences so far. When we are talking about making friends after just having moved to Salem she smiles and turns around while saying:
"Let me introduce you to my grandson, Will this is Sonny, Sonny this is Will."
His blue eyes seem to look straight into my soul and I am not sure what to say. I still haven't answered the text he sent last night, and now I realise he was talking about this event. The telephone conversation is has never stopped playing through my mind, and I am still not sure whether it was his way to let me down easy, or whether it was a genuine request to take it slow. My mum's voice gets me back to reality:
"Marlena, I think we have to make our way to the stage and start the auction, if you two will excuse us."
Soon the auction starts and we are silently watching the bidding. People move closer to the stage, which means we end up more or less together. His voice is soft when he asks:
"Are you OK?"
I nod, realising I feel embarrassed and insecure in front of him, while usually I am confident and unapologetic.
"Sonny…"
I look up and cannot deny the butterflies in my stomach when I look into his sky blue eyes.
"Sonny… I… I hope I didn't hurt you when I asked to take it slow… and then… you didn't answer my text…"
His hand goes through his blond hair and I have to tear my eyes away from it to stop myself from staring.
"Sonny…"
He wants me to say something.
"I'm not sure what to say, Will?"
"Just say… anything…"
"I don't understand… you kissed me… you kissed me first, and then I call you because I thought we… I don't know… were both interested. And all I get is 'can we take it slow and not tell anyone'."
We are now sitting on a bench and I dare to look into his eyes again. This time I don't look away and wait for him to answer me.
"It's not what you think…"
I shrug:
"I don't know what to think, Will."
He takes a deep breath and then waves towards the crowd in front of us:
"I'm not out to everyone yet."
His voice is just a whisper and I lean forward with a frown on my face:
"What?"
He shrugs and lets out a shaking sigh:
"T. knows and grandma Marlena, but that's it."
I want to reach over and hold his hand. I want to lean in and kiss his forehead while pulling him against my chest. But with one eye on the crowd in front of us I say:
"I understand."
"You do?"
I nod and smile:
"I really do… And just to be sure… You didn't…"
I stop midsentence, letting him fill in the rest. He flashes his eyes towards me and smiles softly. His answer is clear and perfect:
"I am so in love with you…"
(…Touching…)
I am back to work as my ankle and wrist are back to normal. It is busy while T and I work together to quickly serve everyone their coffee. When the queue is gone and the coffee house is packed with coffee sipping people, the door opens. I cannot stop the smile spreading across my face and I pour an Americano while he sits down on one of the bar stools.
"Hi Will."
"Hi Sonny... Hey T."
T smiles and says:
"Shall I clean up the storage room? I think you can handle it here."
My smile seems to get even brighter and he playfully pushes my shoulder when he walks past me. I look at the perfect face in front of me and I ask:
"So when are you coming back home…"
"The plumber is fixing it tomorrow, so I'll be back tomorrow night."
After the charity event he stayed over at his mum's house again to look after his brothers and sisters. When he came home the next day the water taps were not working. So he stayed with his grandmother for about a week now and I am just fed up with the situation. During the charity event we decided to take it slow, Will was going to take the time he needed to come out. Knowing he would be across the hallway made it liveable for me to keep things a secret for a while. But with him staying at his grandmother's house, I am really missing him.
"I can get us some pizza for tomorrow… if you want?"
I nod and bite my bottom lip:
"I would really like that."
His eyes stare at my face and suddenly he whispers:
"I'm going to tell my family soon, Sonny…"
I can see the insecurity filling his eyes:
"They will understand it, Will. I am sure it won't make a difference to them…"
He nods and smiles, trying to hide the fear of losing his family. He takes a few big sips from his coffee and while looking at his watch he grabs his bag:
"I have to go, working at the pub in fifteen minutes."
I nod, wishing I could hug and kiss him, as boyfriends do. But instead I just say:
"See you tomorrow?"
He smiles, and suddenly reaches over and grabs my hand. He squeezes is while stroking the back with his thumb:
"Definitely."
And then he is out the door. I still feel his touch on my hand, and it is T who wakes me up while teasing:
"You two are cute together."
(…Tasting…)
I walk into the hallway and I already hear music coming from his apartment. I quickly open my own door and take a shower. After I have taken some time to make sure I look good, I walk over to his place and knock on the door. He opens it almost immediately and smiles excitingly while he looks me up and down:
"Hi handsome…"
I smile, not sure whether to hug him, kiss him, or just walk passed him. But just when I decide to walk passed him he pulls me in for a hug. I immediately respond and hold him close to me, pressing my nose against his neck. He seems to do exactly the same and it takes quite a while before we break apart. He smile shyly and he quickly turns around to get the pizzas from the oven, trying to hide the red covering his cheeks. He set the table, just like he did when he ordered Chinese food at my place. He put the plates opposite each other, but while he is taking the pizzas out, I quickly put the plates next to each other. When he turns around he raises his eyebrows and looks at me. A small smile is playing around his lips:
"This is not how I set the table…"
"No… I decided it needed some adjusting."
"Did it…"
I bite my bottom lip trying not to smile, but he is no longer hiding it. His eyes seem to soften while he looks at me:
"I like this…"
We sit down and enjoy our pizza. As a pizza can be eaten with one hand, we have locked the fingers of our other hands closely together. His thumb is on the back of my hand again, just like when he touched me at the coffee house, and I feel a shiver running down my spine every now and again. I feel myself lean in so our shoulders are touching and I could easily lean my head on his shoulder. We talk about everything and nothing, and again and again I have to stop myself from kissing him, from pulling the pizza from his hands and cup his face while feeling his hands hiding in my hair. But I manage to control myself, and we have our dinner and when we have finished we put everything on the kitchen counter. I put the plates in the sink and immediately feel his body lining up against mine. His chest is flush again my back and I lean backwards while his arms curve around my waist. He kisses my cheek softly and whispers with his lips against my ear:
"Finally…"
I laugh, utterly happy with where I am. I lean my head back on his shoulder so he can kiss my neck. In between kisses he whispers:
"I… wanted…to…do…this…since…the…first…time…I…saw….you."
I moan softly, closing my eyes and letting feelings overwhelm me. But then I suddenly turn around in his arms, locking my hands around his neck, and I breathe with my lips against his:
"What did you mean exactly when you said you want to take this slow…"
His blue eyes seem to darken and he whispers hoarsely:
"Don't worry, I wasn't talking about this… us…"
I smile and lean in to press a soft kiss against his lips. He leans forward to deepen the kiss but I lean back:
"Are you sure? Because if we don't stop now…"
He shakes his head, stares at my lips and then pulls me even closer to him:
"I was talking about coming out to people, telling people about us, not about being us… not about being with you…"
His eyes look up to meet mine and I see the honesty shining towards me. I lean forward again and just lick his bottom lip before I softly suck on it. He whimpers, while I feel how his hands move south on my body. He is leaning his body against mine, and I lean against the kitchen counter. I feel his body pressed against mine from our knees to our foreheads. I slowly push him towards his bed, and by the time we reach it we are both only wearing our boxers. I smile when I see how his body is reacting to me. I push this last barrier away and he gasps when I wrap my hand around him. He moans and his knees give way and he falls on his bed with his legs spread. I kneel in front of him, watching him fall apart while I softly stroke him. His breaths are quick and shallow, while he moans and squirms beneath my hands. I let go, laying my hands on his thighs and he sighs his disappointment. When he looks at me I see the need in his eyes. I just smile and lean down, immediately feeling his hands in my hair. And just before I taste him I whisper:
"Let me love you…"
Thanks to everyone who reviewed, liked, or sent me a sweet personal message! I love to read your sweet comments! Several of you asked for more another chapter, so…. I hope you all like it, let me know!