Sonny's POV
(…Hearing…)
Finally my shift is done and I look forward to a relaxed evening with Will. He should be home already, and although we didn't make official plans, we usually meet up at one of our apartments. It only takes me about twenty minutes to drive home and park my car in front of the building where we live. Will's car is two spaces to the left, and I find myself rushing inside, eager to see him. The moment I run onto our floor I hear voices coming from his apartment and once I realise what they are talking about I hold my breath, unable the move.
"Don't be ridiculous, Will…"
His mother's high voice is filled with irritation. It is quiet for a while and I wish I could see their faces, or more precisely, I wish I could see his face. And the moment I hear his voice I bite my lip while trying to swallow the suddenly appeared lump in my throat.
"It who I am mum."
His voice is soft and sounds broken, as if he is apologising for what he is saying.
"It's who you are?"
The way she repeats his words make me cringe, and soon she continues:
"I am your mother, I would have known if you were gay…"
It is silent again and suddenly I can picture him, with his shoulders hanging down, his hands slightly insecure on his hips, and his teeth nibbling at his bottom lip. Tears in his big blue eyes, which have darkened in colour. Part of me wants to storm in there, tell his mother to be supportive and then hug him close and whisper in his ear that everything is going to be alright. But I know this is a family thing, they have to do this their way. And while I move closer to my door I hear his voice again:
"I didn't change… I'm still me, you know?"
Even before he finished his sentence his mother is voicing her opinions again:
"This is just a phase, William Horton, and I am not going to support this idea you suddenly have."
"Now hang on a second…."
It's his father's voice, much calmer than his mother's.
"Why don't we talk about this together..."
"I have nothing to say…"
"Sami, he is trying to open up to us, just listen to what he has to say…"
I haven't met his father yet but I already like him. But even he seems unable to smooth things over.
"No, we are done having this conversation…"
"Sami, where are you going…"
"I'm going home, Lucas, I am done here."
I suddenly realise I am standing here in the middle of the hallway, with my jacket in my hand. Quickly I go into my apartment and lean against the door while they continue their conversation in the hallway.
"Mum…"
His voice breaks my heart, and moments later I hear his father say:
"She will come around son, she always does…"
"Come around? She walked out on me…"
The sadness has given way for anger and when his father asks to go back inside and talk about it together, he answers:
"No, I'm going for a walk."
And soon it is quiet. I open the door, hoping to find him alone in his apartment, but they all have left. I grab my phone, not sure whether to call him and tell him I heard everything or not. Eventually I decide to just give him some time. If he wants to talk to me he knows I am home tonight, and if he doesn't I will find him tomorrow. I am restless all night though, trying to fight the urge to call him. At three am I hear him come home, and while I hear his door lock behind him I whisper in the dark:
"Please let me help you."
(…Smelling…)
I don't know what to do. I want to text him, but am still undecided about whether to let him know that I heard everything. My left hand goes through my dark hair and I type a third text message after I already removed two previous ones. After I read it three times I click sent:
'Hi Will, hope you're OK, want to meet later today?'
After half an hour of impatiently checking my phone he has still not replied. I sigh and decide to go grocery shopping. When I leave my apartment I look at his door for a while as I am 90% certain he is still at home, but eventually I walk away. I drive to the shops, still checking my phone and I try to convince myself he must have missed my message. So I sent him another one, hoping for a reply:
'Hi, would love to see you soon…'
I walk into the supermarket and push my trolley, while my eyes are fixed on my telephone screen. Suddenly I hear a high pitched voice:
"Please watch where you are going…"
I recognise her voice immediately, and her blue eyes are slightly similar to Will's, although they miss the warmth I always see in his. I murmur something that sounds like an apology and check my phone one more time before slipping it into my pocket. I walk towards the aftershave section and screen the stand for the one I always use. I suddenly remember how I enjoy his aftershave, it's fresh, like a summer's breeze on the beach. I am not sure which one it is but suddenly I find myself sniffing several bottles, hoping to find the right one.
"Can I help you in any way?"
A friendly lady looks at me and I smile:
"No thank you, I'm fine."
My eyes scan the bottles one more time and I decide to check one more. The moment I lift the lid off I know this is his aftershave. I feel a stirring in my stomach and without thinking I drop it in my trolley. The lady, who is only a few steps away from me smiles at me again:
"You found what you were looking for, sir?"
I nod and smile politely, while I pull my phone out to check whether he has answered my text yet. And while I continue doing the rest of my shopping all I can think is:
"The one I am looking for doesn't want to be found though…"
(…Seeing…)
It is in the evening now and Will has not responded to my texts in any way. I am slightly scared by how sad I am for this, as we have only met a few weeks ago. How can I already be so caught up in him? I push my thoughts away and pick up my phone which is ringing.
"Hi."
"Hi Sonny, how are you."
I decide to lie:
"I'm great mum, how about you."
"I am alright baby, I was hoping you can join me and your father for dinner tonight at the Swan restaurant."
"Isn't that quite a fancy place?"
"Well, you might want to wear something else than jeans…"
I smile and answer:
"OK then, I'll be ready in half an hour, can you pick me up?"
"Of course, see you soon."
They are perfectly on time and an hour later we hand in our coats and are directed towards our table. I sit down opposite my parents and we catch up while we order out drinks and go over the menu. After we have given our orders to the waiter I look around, and suddenly my heart skips a beat and I hold my breath. If I look just past a big plant and the aquarium I can see him perfectly. And he is staring at me with his beautiful blue eyes. I am not sure what to do and I take in a deep breath.
"Sonny… are you OK?"
My mum looks at me slightly concerned and look at her as if I just saw water burning:
"Yeah… I just see someone I know."
"Oh, you can go over and say hi if you want."
But when I look back over at Will I see his mother, whom I met at the supermarket, and I can hear her say:
"Could you focus your attention on your family a bit more instead of staring at strangers?"
She glances at me as if I have done something wrong and then she says:
"Why don't you sit over there with Johnny, I'll sit here…"
Once more she glances at me and I look at my mum:
"It's OK, I don't have to say hi…"
By the time he and his family get up to leave they have to pass our table. I am not sure what to do: leave to the bathroom and hide in there until he has left, or just stay where I am and avoid looking at him, or look at him and risk being purposefully ignored by him. I am too late to go to the bathroom as they are already on the move. I try to look down, but I lose the battle against myself. He is walking behind everyone else and when I look up his eyes meet mine. I can't breathe and am struck by the pain I see in his. He doesn't say anything when he passes, but I hear myself whisper:
"Will."
Is it very soft, as if only a breath, but he seems to hear it as he turns his head slightly. But then he is gone, and I stare at my food, trying to avoid the taxing looks of my parents.
"Sonny?"
I shake my head and push the plate away from me:
"Please don't ask…"
My brown eyes are begging them to let it go and so they change the subject. I try to follow their conversation but my eyes seem to stray to the place where I saw him first, and without effort I can see him sitting there staring at me, as if I am all he wants…
(…Touching…)
I give up. I tried to wait for him to come to me. His car is in the car parks so he must be home. And he must have heard me come home after the dinner with my parents. I knock on his door and shout quite loudly:
"Will, open up."
After I have knocked several times the door opens a little bit and I push it open further to walk in. He stands in his kitchen with his back towards me. I close the door behind me and then just look at him while saying his name:
"Will…"
He coughs, as if to hide his insecurity. Then he turns around and without looking at me he asks:
"What do you want, Sonny?"
I look at him and shake my head:
"Don't do this, Will…"
"Do what…"
He laughs a fake laugh and I decide to be honest:
"I heard you coming out to your parents… I just came home from work and I could hear you… You're mum…"
He turns his back on me again, but just before he does I see how he nervously bites his bottom lip. I continue and watch him crumble under my words:
"She walked out, and this evening at the restaurant… Will… you cannot live a life that doesn't fit you. You cannot hide how you feel just because your mum disagrees… or whatever."
He is crying now, I can see how he tries to dry his eyes with his hands, but is doesn't work. It only takes a second and I am holding him in my arms. He pushes his face against my chest and I try to surround him as much as I can. His arms curl around my waist and slowly his face moves to rest against my neck. I can feel the wetness of his tears against my skin and I whisper:
"It's your life Will."
"I know."
He lets go and grabs my hand so he can pull me to his bed. We sit down at the end of it and he asks:
"Why is she denying it, as if I am just wrong…? As if I just don't know what I want?"
I shrug and stroke the back of his hand:
"I think she is scared…"
He nods and again wipes his face with his hand and I cannot help thinking how cute he is. He suddenly looks at me and the depth of his eyes hit me as they always do:
"Please tell me that what I feel for you is OK?"
I just look at him for a while and then I pull him in my arms again. With my mouth against his ear I whisper:
"It is more than just OK. I think it is magical, I think it is perfect, I think it is the best thing in the whole world."
The way he leans against me makes me feel as though he was made just to fit against my body. His hands come up and he happily makes a mess of my hair:
"Can I ask you a favour?"
"Anything…"
"Can you hold me tonight?"
Moments later we crawl under his duvet. He curls up and I lie behind him and drape myself around him. After a while he sighs and seems to want to hide into my arms even further. I am already half asleep when I hear him say:
"This is right Sonny… this is just right"
(…Tasting…)
In the past weeks Will has talked with his father, and remains a much loved big brother to his siblings. His mother however, is avoiding him and he is avoiding her. But I cannot deny I enjoy the way we are. Although in public places he is still very self-conscious, when we are home he is tactile and cuddly. I look at the tickets in my hand and I hope he is going to say yes. I walk into his apartment, no longer knocking before I enter, and find him studying. He looks up with tired eyes from all the reading and a smile paints his beautiful face:
"Hi."
I lean over and softly press our lips together. He hums and I smile happily. Then I flash the tickets before his eyes and say slightly nervous:
"I bought tickets for the ice rink in Horton Town Square."
He takes the tickets from my hands and blushes when he says:
"I am a terrible ice skater…"
I just shrug, totally in love with his shyness:
"I'll hold your hand through it all…"
He looks at me and then stands up to fold his hands around my neck. His eyes are soft and the strength of his hands make me feel safe and loved.
"Sonny… I'm sorry I have been a bit… I don't know… distant when we are in public. It's not because I am not crazy about you…"
I nod:
"I know that…"
I look at the tickets which are now lying on the desk and try not to show my disappointment:
"I understand, you're not ready yet to go out like that…"
But then his lips are on mine again, so tender and loving it takes my breath away. When he let's go he smiles against my lips:
"I think we should go right now."
Several kisses and a journey into town later we are on the ice rink. Will was not wrong, he is terrible at ice skating. I hold out my hand and he grabs it as if it is the only thing to keep him alive. I tell myself to not push things, so instead of pulling him into my arms and kissing the life out of him, which is what I really want to do, I just hold on tightly to his hand, enjoying his firm grip. It is busy on the ice, I have already seen T with a pretty blond girl, and now I see Will's mother and his siblings. I know he sees them too and reluctantly I let go of his hand.
"Sonny?"
"It's OK Will, I understand…"
His fingers fold around mine:
"I am out with my boyfriend, and he is very cute, and I want to hold his hand."
I smile, while a dark red covers my cheeks. He smiles back and whispers:
"I like it when you blush…"
"WILL, WILL…"
His little brother comes over, sliding and falling on the ice, happy to see his big brother.
"WILL, you're here too."
"That's right, buddy…"
"Look at me, look at what I can do."
We watch him slide around and praise him as much as we can. His eyes sparkle and then he suddenly turns to me:
"Who are you?"
Will's mother answers before I can and all she says is:
"He is just someone Will knows."
She looks at our joint hands and raises her eyebrows at Will. I am not sure what to do or say but then I hear Will's calm voice while he says to his little brother:
"This is Sonny…"
"Hi Sonny."
"Hi Johnny, it's nice to meet you."
Johnny now looks at our hands and then he says to me:
"You better hold him tight because he can't really skate that good."
I can't help but laugh and I promise I will not let go. T and his girlfriend join us as well and soon we are all practising our ice skating skills. Will's mum is looking from a distance and I can see the disapproval on her face. Johnny on the other hand is having fun, because he is now holding Will's other hand while shouting:
"We've got your Will, we won't let you fall."
When we get tired we move to the side of the rink where we sit down on one of the benches. I feel Will shake against me and I ask softly:
"Are you cold?"
He nods and smiles. His blue eyes stare into mine and then he pulls my arm around him and he rests his head against my shoulder. I hold him close, fully realising that his mother can see use, as well as Johnny, and so does T who smiles and gives me a thumbs up. Will moves his head slightly and I look down into his eyes. Before I know it he leans up and catches my lips with his. He gives me a firm, warm, and sweet kiss and smiles when it takes me a second to open my eyes again.
"You make me so happy…"
Just after he said that we hear his mum's voice:
"Johnny let's go home."
She ignores us and holds out her hand to Johnny. It is only then I realise he is looking at us with big eyes. He then walks over to Will and give him a little-brother-hug and I am moved by their little conversation:
"You really like Sonny, don't you."
"I do. I really, really like him."
When Johnny lets go of Will he smiles at me and says:
"So I'll see you next time?"
I nod and hold my hand up for a high five. He doesn't hesitate and claps my hand:
"Bye."
Will's mother doesn't say anything, she just turns around and walks away. I look at Will and ask softly:
"Are you OK?"
But when his blue eyes meet mine, the happy sparkle is all the answer I need. He stands up and pulls me with him. And when we are in the middle of the ice rink his arms fold around my neck, while my hands rest on his hips. His forehead leans against mine and then he kisses me. His tongue slides against mine and I feel dizzy from the way he softly sucks my upper lip. I forget everything around me and lose myself in his touch. Holding his hips is what keeps me standing up, and when I feel one of his hands in my hair I softly moan into his mouth. He slowly breaks the kiss and I realise we are both panting. I keep my eyes closed and lean my head against his, unable to speak as I am still too overwhelmed by the intense kiss in the middle of the ice. And while I happily lean against him I hear him say:
"I meant what I said to Johnny…"
I manage to whisper a response, while curving my arms around his waist:
"What?"
And his husky whisper in my ear makes this moment even more magical, perfect, and the best thing in the world:
"I really, really like you..."
So there you go… chapter three. Am not sure whether to continue this story, but I am hoping you can leave a review to let me know what you think of this chapter. Thank you all for reading!