Po had misheard her.
He must have.
After all, he was just a pudgy panda with a few moves.
Did Tigress, super awesome, super cool defeater of evil, really just say yes to going out with him?
"Po?" Tigress frowned when Po fell silent. "Are you okay?"
"Ummm..." Po's mouth opened, but all that came out where weird sounds. "Ahhhh..."
"In case you're thinking that you've misheard, I definitely said yes."
Po was sure he'd blacked out for a second after hearing her words.
"Really?" He finally asked in a tiny voice.
His heart started to race... a very loud voice in his head screamed at him to back out before he ruined everything.
"Yes." Tigress chuckled a little at his reaction. Her eyes, though... Po suddenly realized through his shock that her eyes looked just as stunned as he was. "I mean, we've known each other for a while now. I can't see why we can't take a stab at-"
Before he could stop himself, Po panicked.
"Wait, you mean going out?!" Po cried frantically, speaking so fast that his words fused together. "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean that!"
Tigress blinked.
"Huh?"
"I meant going together as friends!" Po exclaimed. "We are friends, right? I wasn't asking you out on a date, if that was what you thought! I'm so sorry, I must have made you feel so uncomfortable, I'll never do that again, I promise!"
For a moment, Tigress looked bemused. Then she smirked, her eyes narrowing.
"It's okay, Po." she said. "I'm sorry I got you so flustered."
"Nah, don't be..."
"Shall we get going then?" She asked.
"Huh?"
"We have a winter feast to get to."
"Oh, right!" Po chuckled nervously. "Hang on and I'll wake dad..."
He motioned for Tigress to wait on the bed, then slipped out his bedroom. Halfway down the stairs, he stopped and listened.
Once he was sure that Tigress was out of earshot, he slammed his head against the wall.
"What's wrong with me?!" He snarled through clenched teeth as he slammed his head again. "Asking the girl of your dreams out and then pretending that you weren't?! What kind of idiot does that? A black and white and big fat idiot, that's what!" He slammed his head some more. "A-" Thump! "Big-" Thump! "Fat-" Thump! "Idiot!"
Eventually he stopped hurting himself and slumped against the opposite wall.
It's probably for the best, though... he thought once the throbbing in his skull subsided.
Yes, it probably was for the best. After all, aside from being a panda and a tiger respectively, Po and Tigress were polar opposites. On one hand, Po was a pudgy panda who still fell down the thousand stairs every single day and even after achieving inner peace he still had a lot to learn about kung fu. Tigress, on the other hand, was a true master of the art (heck, she could even levitate if she concentrated hard enough!), she was one of the most compassionate people he knew, and in those rare moments when she would smile from the heart... like that day when he defeated Tai Lung...
God, that smile... Po smiled a little himself as he remembered that day.
No, he couldn't risk it.
If they ever went out (and he meant 'out' out), and he managed to screw up, it could ruin their friendship. The friendship Po had worked so hard to forge with his idol after she had hated him so, the friendship that had made Tigress reveal more to Po than Shifu himself would ever know.
No, Po couldn't do it.
There was too much at risk.
Besides, he wasn't exactly sure why he'd done it. Maybe he'd just blurted it out because of a sudden need to ease Tigress's pain after seeing her so afraid. Maybe he'd done it because he was afraid to be going to the feast by himself, just as Tigress was. Or maybe it was just an attempt to take advantage of her vulnerability. That last thought made him feel sickened with himself.
As he stood slumped against the wall halfway down the staircase, Po suddenly realized that it didn't matter why he had asked her out. What really mattered… was that Tigress definitely deserved better.
Oh well... Po sighed deeply, his back slowly sliding down the wall he was leaning against, his heart aching as strongly as his head. Dad's sure gonna be disappointed...
Dad!
Po pushed himself away from the wall.
Oh crap, my ranting didn't wake him up, did it?
Po rushed down the last few steps leading to his father's room. He pressed his ear to the door. He heard no sound. Breathing a silent sigh of relief, Po opened the door slightly and poked his head through.
"Dad?"
The bed was empty.
"Dad?!"
Po pulled the door fully open and jumped in. He frantically turned his head from side to side, but Mr. Ping was nowhere to be seen.
"Dad, where are you?!" Po cried.
He couldn't have gone upstairs. The stairs didn't lead anywhere up that Po's room, where Tigress currently was. Which meant that he must have gone downstairs, to the kitchen.
Calm down, Po, Po told himself as he descended the stairs. Dad probably just wanted to give me and Tigress some private time. No need to get worked up over nothing.
As he neared the bottom of the stairs, Po began to hear a voice very like his father's, only it sounded strange. It was a mumbling sound, and from his position, Po couldn't make out the words. It was almost as if his father was talking in his sleep.
Po reached the bottom of the stairs and entered the kitchen, bending down slightly so his stubby ears wouldn't brush against the ceiling. His heart started to race when he saw that his father wasn't in the kitchen.
He was just beginning to panic again when he glanced through the opening in the wall above the counter and saw a very strange sight.
Mr. Ping was located in the middle of the outdoors eating area, dancing in a very peculiar manner. He was spinning around in circles, swinging a large cleaver over and over in a rapid chopping motion. Now that they were within speaking distance, Po could clearly make out the strange mumbling emanating from the goose's beak.
"Get the onion, Po… customers are hungry…"
Po gave a confused expression. The goose had his back turned to him, and was almost certainly not talking to the panda staring at him.
"Carrots… mushrooms… ginger…"
He leapt on a table and began chopping on the surface, sending splinters flying into the air. Po moved towards the door, fearing that his father would hurt himself.
What was the matter with him, anyway?
He'd never seen his dad act like this before!
Po was about to step through the doorway when Mr. Ping suddenly leapt down from the table and begin spinning on the spot, cleaver flailing wildly in his wing.
"Get back, you evil beets!" He suddenly began speaking clearly, voice thick with determined fury. "Back I say! Back!"
Po gulped. Maybe approaching his father in whatever state he was in wasn't such a good idea.
"Maybe Tigress can help." He whispered, and turned back towards the stairs. She was an experienced warrior who had traveled all over China and probably experience many peculiar things, so perhaps she could shed some light on his father's condition.
As Po turned, his elbow caught a large-size noodle bowl sitting on the very corner of the counter. Po gasped and franticly lunged, but the bowl slipped through his fingers as it toppled over the edge and towards the floor…
A pair of orange and black paws caught the bowl right before it could smash on the stone floor. Po froze, and looked up at Tigress's face. Her eyes were fixed on the bowl she had just saved, her lips pursed in a small 'o' as she carefully lifted the bowl and placed it back on the counter.
"What's go-" she began, but Po shushed her. He then pointed over the counter. Tigress followed his gaze, and her eyes widened at the sight of the goose waving his cleaver in the middle of the restaurant.
"What's happening?" she mouthed.
"I don't know!" Po mouthed back.
"There you are, you reddish purple scoundrels!" Mr. Ping suddenly yelled, turning around unexpectedly to glare over the counter. "Come here so I can expel you from my soup!"
"Uh oh…" Po whispered. He grabbed Tigress by the shoulders and yanked her behind the counter out of sight.
"Come on out and fight like a chewy man!" Mr. Ping cried. "Ha, ha!"
Po and Tigress very cautiously poked their heads over the counter. The goose was staring in their direction, but not directly at the two very alarmed warriors hiding in the kitchen, rather staring at a spot over their heads.
"Po, look at his face." Tigress mouthed.
Po stared at his father, and realized that the goose's expression was utterly blank, though his body was as expressive as it it had been in years.
"What's wrong with him?" Po mouthed worriedly.
"I think he's sleepwalking." Tigress replied.
"What?!"
"Shush!"
Po clapped a paw over his mouth, but all his father did was suddenly rush at the far corner of the restaurant, ululating like a maniac.
"Sleepwalking?" Po mouthed. "But he's never done that before."
"It's been a hectic week for him, what with the building work being done on his shop, and the preparation for the winter feast." Tigress replied. "He probably hasn't had much time for sleep."
"Aw man..." Po looked at his father sadly. "I wish he'd told me."
"Hiiiiii... YAH!" Mr. Ping suddenly cried and swung his cleaver in an overhead arc, slicing at thin air.
"What on earth is he dreaming about?" Tigress raised an eyebrow at the display. "Is he dreaming about a battle?"
"No..." And this time Po was rolling his eyes. "He's having the noodle dream."
"Po, grab that radish!" Mr. Ping yelled. "He's making a break for it!"
"The noodle dream?" Tigress mouthed.
"Don't ask." was all that Po said.
Mr. Ping began scooping up imaginary vegetables and tossing them into an invisible pot.
"What do we do?" Po asked. "We can't wake him up! That's the worst thing you can do with a sleep walker!'
"That's not actually true." Tigress replied. "It's quite safe to wake him. The only real problem with a sleep walker is trying to keep them from injuring themselves."
Po looked back at his father, who was once again swinging his cleaver at the imaginary vegetables surrounding him.
"You're right, as usual, Tigress..." Po replied quietly. "But the way he's swinging that knife, the chances are we'll get injured ourselves going near him..."
Shifu was still wincing slightly as he ascended the stairs leading to the Hall of Warrior, dressed in a greyish black robe decorated with silvery white snowflakes held together by a gold clasp. Fortunately he had removed most of his bandages while changing, so his bottom was back to normal size. It still hurt like hell, though.
When he reached the top (finally), he found most of Furious Five waiting for him. Mantis, being a bug, did not have much choice in terms of clothing, so all he had on was a light brown vest with black trim that covered three quarters of his torso. Monkey, meanwhile, was decked out in a white vest decorated with black shuriken emblems and black pants. Viper, meanwhile, was wearing a black bib decorated with a bright red dragon over the part of her body beneath her head. To complete the outfit, she had swapped her white lily decorations for bright red ones, and had even obtained a small black parasol decorated with a dragon like her vest, currently open and bathing her head in the shade. Last but not least, Crane was decked out in a black vest and red pants with silver trim, along with the gold and silver rimmed hat Princess Haoxin had given him.
"Good evening, Master." They saluted the red panda upon seeing him.
"The masters have already arrived." Crane said. "They're waiting inside."
"What about the royal family?" Shifu asked.
"They're on their way here." Monkey said. "Master Eagle was here just now, and asked us to inform you that-"
"The name is Master Eagle Junior." The eagle himself suddenly touched down next to Crane at that very moment. "And his highness has just asked me to come back and inform you that tonight I will leaving on an errand, and will not be back until tomorrow. Until then, he wishes for you to speak directly to me if there are any issues."
"Very well, Master Eagle Jr." Shifu said. "If you are going to meet with the emperor before leaving, please let them know that everything is ready. We are just waiting for him and his family now."
Eagle nodded and flew off. Shifu then turned to Viper.
"Su and Pong are definitely in the barracks, correct?"
"Yes, Master." Viper said. "Zeng is looking after them."
"Do you remember you task for tonight?"
'Yes, Master. I'm to watch over Princess Mei Li and Prince Zan during the feast."
"Good."
For the next two minutes they stood in silence, gazing down the steps as they waited for Emperor Xian and his family.
"Uh, Master Shifu?' Mantis eventually spoke up. "Where are Po and Tigress?"
"Po is busy retrieving her from the village." Shifu replied.
"Oh. It's just that they've been gone a long time." Mantis replied.
Shifu turned round and opened his mouth to assure Mantis, but then realized that his student was right. It usually took roughly twenty minutes to half and hour to descend the stairs (half a minute if you're the Dragon Warrior), and it took nearly the same time to ascend it again. Two hours had passed since Po departed for the village. Even he shouldn't be taking this long.
"You're right." Shifu said. "Crane, go down to the village and find out what's taking them so long. We'll wait here for-"
"Peekaboo!"
Shifu flung his staff in the air in fright when a pair of wings suddenly wrapped around his eyes. Quick as lightning, he ducked out the attacker's grasp, grabbed his staff as it fell back towards the ground spun round to face him.
"Oh dear, did I scare you too much, Master Beetroot?" Haoxin laughed, the fine silk of her purple and gold dress shimmering as her body shuddered from her giggles. Behind her, Emperor Xian emerged in glistening red and gold robes. At his right side were Princess Zu Chunhua and Zan, both dressed in bright orange. On his left were Princess Mei Li and her parents, all dressed in lime green.
Shifu and the Five bowed down in respect as Xian stepped forward.
"Our apologies for our lateness." Xian spoke. "Little Zan had lost his underwear, you see."
Zan giggled near Xian's feet.
"It is so good to see you again, Master Pee-Poo!' Haoxin smiled merrily as the red panda stared at her both in shock and irritation.
"It is good to see you too, your highness..." Shifu replied through a clenched jaw. "Excuse me... but I have to go down to the village for a moment." Crane gave the red panda a look. "The Dragon Warrior and Master Tigress are late."
"Very well." Haoxin replied. "Please give my regards to dear Tigress when you see her."
"I will." Shifu replied. "Crane, you and the others take them inside and wait for my return."
"Yes, Master. Take all the time you need." Crane tilted his head towards Haoxin as he said this. Shifu gave him a furious look before making his way down the stairs.
"This is ridiculous!" Tigress mouthed furiously. "We're both warriors! Surely we can approach a sleep-walking goose?!"
"But Tigress, he's got a cleaver!" Po gulped as Mr. Ping suddenly swung said cleaver into the opposite edge of the counter they were standing behind.
"For crying out loud..." Tigress gritted her teeth. "We're late enough for the winter feast as it is!"
"I'm not going to the feast until I make sure that my dad isn't going to injure himself!"
"Alright, alright..." Tigress muttered, looking slightly ashamed of herself. "If we could somehow approach him..."
"Not while he's swinging that cleaver around." Po replied. "It's dangerous."
"Fine. Then our only option is to try and wake him up with a loud noise." Tigress mouthed. "The pots and pans surrounding us should do the trick."
"But, Tigress, what if he gets a fright? He could hurt himself!" Po mouthed back.
"Then we have to try and get that cleaver away from him." Tigress replied. "Po, is there anything in this kitchen that we can use?"
"I dunno... wait I have an idea!" Po nearly said out loud. "Tigress, behind you is a pot full of noodle strands. Pick it up and give it to me."
Tigress nodded, and made to turn. Suddenly she stopped and frowned. She reached behind her, seemed to tug at something, then her eyes widened slightly.
"What is it?" Po mouthed.
"I'm stuck!" she mouthed back.
"What do you mean stuck?!"
"There's some kind of hook on the wall behind me. It's caught my belt.'
"Can you get free?"
"Not without tearing it."
Po stifled a moan. Outside, Mr. Ping began leaping across the tables, yelling about carrots.
"You're gonna have to take it off!" He whispered.
"What?!"
"Take it off!"
"Po, Princess Haoxin paid a fortune for this dress! What if it gets filthy?"
"You're her favorite, she can take it!" Po replied. "Now take it off and get the noodle pot!"
Tigress bit her lip, then began untying the belt of the black robe covering her winter feast outfit. Po looked away from her when he heard a sudden crash- in his sleep-walking state, Mr. Ping had just overturned a chair. He glanced at Tigress, then returned to observing his father in concern.
His eyes widened. His concerned expression slackened.
Slowly, he turned his head to face Tigress again.
The black robe was now dangling from the hook it had gotten caught on.
In its place, Tigress was wearing a flowing dress the color of cut emeralds. The silk was so shimmery that the flickering light of a nearby lit candle could be seen reflected on the sleeve of her right arm. The trim and stick-up collar of the dress was a shiny bright silver, almost white, and contrasted brilliantly with the dark green and silver belt wrapped around her slender waist. Circling the rim of the sleeves and the hem of the dress were silver dragons linked together by holding their tails in their claws. Dangling from her neck was the large emerald known as the Heart of China.
The striped feline wearing this dress blushed slightly as Po stared at her open-mouthed. Wringing her paws, she looked up at him, smiling slightly out of nervousness.
"How do I look?" she mouthed.
Very slowly, the corners of Po's mouth began to twitch upwards into a smile.
Meanwhile, Mr. Ping turned back towards the kitchen.
"Taste the cleaver of wrath, you vicious sprout!" The goose cried and flung the cleaver over the counter.
"Waaah!" Po screamed as he turned his head just in time to see the cleaver flying right at him. He lunged forward, making the cleaver miss him by inches and embed itself into the wall, and right into the surprised feline.
"Po, Tigress, you both had better have a darned good reason for taking this long." Shifu growled under his breath as he neared Dragon Warrior's Noodle and Tofu shop, the source of the sound of a great commotion that Shifu's sensitive had picked up upon reaching the village. As he got closer, he realized that the sounds were more specifically Mr. Ping yelling about villainous vegetables.
He reached the archway that lead into the restaurant, rounded the corner and his eyes widened at the sight of the goose dancing around the outdoors area like a madman.
"Mr. Ping?" Shifu asked. The goose responded by dancing some more. When Shifu saw his blank face and realized what was going on, he stepped forward.
"MR. PING!"
Shifu's shout did the trick. Mr. Ping cried out as he was suddenly shocked into reality. He blinked and stared at his surroundings.
"M-m-Master Shifu?" Mr. Ping stared at the red panda. "What's going on? What am I doing here?"
"Calm down, Mr. Ping." Shifu replied and approached the confused goose. "Head inside and I'll explain everything once I've found Po and Tigre-"
He stopped dead when he looked into the kitchen and saw Po's arms wrapped around a stunned Tigress.
"Po?" Mr. Ping stared in astonishment and Po and Tigress quickly parted. "What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be at the feast?" Then he noticed Tigress and the dress she was wearing. "Oh, hello, Tigress. Why, don't you look lovely this evening!"